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1
00:00:01,123 --> 00:00:02,525
Is this a carjacking?
2
00:00:02,645 --> 00:00:05,275
- Are you carjacking me?
- I'm the devil.
3
00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:09,537
Before you were born, your mom
and I sold your soul to the devil.
4
00:00:09,657 --> 00:00:11,681
- You gonna tell Andi?
- I'm not gonna tell Andi!
5
00:00:11,841 --> 00:00:14,104
If she knows,
she'll never go out with me.
6
00:00:14,224 --> 00:00:16,116
You could make her go out with you,
Damien.
7
00:00:16,236 --> 00:00:18,870
You're just gonna bring escaped souls
back to hell. That's cool, right?
8
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,664
- How am I supposed to capture 'em?
- This will help...
9
00:00:21,784 --> 00:00:24,526
a vessel, hand-crafted
in the bowels of perdition
10
00:00:24,685 --> 00:00:26,540
by the iniquitous and the vile.
11
00:00:26,661 --> 00:00:28,427
- That'll work.
- A word of caution...
12
00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:29,963
I don't accept failure.
13
00:00:30,086 --> 00:00:32,485
You finally found the one thing
that you're good at.
14
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:34,952
You sent an escaped soul back to hell.
15
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:39,513
- Come on, come on.
- All right!
16
00:00:39,666 --> 00:00:41,192
Those are huge on you.
17
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,430
- All right, feel that?
- Nope, not a thing.
18
00:00:43,558 --> 00:00:44,862
This is gonna work great.
19
00:00:44,987 --> 00:00:48,210
- All right! Now run, rabbit.
- All right, wait, give me a head start.
20
00:00:48,596 --> 00:00:49,600
Steady...
21
00:00:50,386 --> 00:00:51,711
Oh, Sock!
22
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:54,280
- Below the waist!
- What did you say?
23
00:00:54,535 --> 00:00:56,792
Say... let's try again. Here, here.
24
00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,172
This 2 pants thing doesn't work!
25
00:01:01,296 --> 00:01:03,240
You sure about that?
Let's try again here.
26
00:01:03,565 --> 00:01:05,563
Sock, you're makin'me mad!
27
00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:07,202
Wait, wait.
28
00:01:10,465 --> 00:01:11,961
Oh, my god, mom!
29
00:01:12,088 --> 00:01:14,432
- You're back!
- Hi, sweetheart!
30
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,652
Oh, ribs, sweetie! Ribs, ribs.
31
00:01:18,775 --> 00:01:20,102
Oh, sorry. How was Vegas?
32
00:01:20,228 --> 00:01:22,112
Mom,
did you see me shoot Ben in the butt?
33
00:01:22,236 --> 00:01:23,561
I did. Good shootin', Bert.
34
00:01:23,685 --> 00:01:26,073
- Very good shot.
- Hey, Ms. Wysocki.
35
00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:30,513
Um, mom... Who's the, uh, cowboy?
36
00:01:31,138 --> 00:01:34,591
Um, Bert,
there's something I have to tell you.
37
00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:37,370
Uh, this is Morris.
38
00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:40,602
And we have some wonderful news.
39
00:01:52,617 --> 00:01:55,840
Will you stop checking the time?
Am I that boring?
40
00:01:55,968 --> 00:01:57,950
No, I told you
I have to leave in 10 minutes.
41
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,601
I'm gonna be super late.
And it's definitely not boring.
42
00:02:00,726 --> 00:02:02,973
I'll tell you when 10 minutes is up.
43
00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:06,421
What...
44
00:02:10,486 --> 00:02:11,671
Hey, what?
45
00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:14,653
Oh, my gosh, this is beautiful!
46
00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:18,763
You were gonna give it to me
as a present? That is so sweet!
47
00:02:19,126 --> 00:02:21,113
Yeah. Yeah, you... you like it?
48
00:02:21,236 --> 00:02:24,161
I love it. It's perfect. Put it on.
49
00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:31,221
There you go.
50
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:33,592
Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
51
00:02:36,138 --> 00:02:38,450
- What's up?
- Sock, what are you doing?
52
00:02:41,408 --> 00:02:43,553
I need you to get rid of this, OK?
53
00:02:43,677 --> 00:02:45,400
Sock, are you all right?
54
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,560
My mom came home from Vegas today.
55
00:02:49,226 --> 00:02:51,270
You shot your mom with a BB gun?
56
00:02:51,715 --> 00:02:53,511
No, Sam, of course not.
57
00:02:54,837 --> 00:02:57,223
I might have shot an Asian cowboy,
though.
58
00:02:57,346 --> 00:02:58,193
What?
59
00:02:58,316 --> 00:03:00,473
Yeah.
And I think I punched him in the eye.
60
00:03:00,636 --> 00:03:02,921
I don't know. It's all a big blur.
61
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:09,321
- Will you rub my head?
- Yeah.
62
00:03:11,865 --> 00:03:13,232
Thank you. That feels good.
63
00:03:13,397 --> 00:03:15,502
Sock, what the hell is going on?
64
00:03:16,226 --> 00:03:17,743
My mom get married.
65
00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:21,051
And now I have nobody,
except for you two.
66
00:03:25,066 --> 00:03:27,043
Would somebody get me a six pack?
67
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,792
It's what my mom would have done.
68
00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:34,900
Season 1, Episode 11 - Hungry for Fame
For www.forom.com
69
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:43,580
Oh, hey, you're up.
70
00:03:45,085 --> 00:03:46,082
Sock,
71
00:03:46,938 --> 00:03:49,522
why is my alarm clock going off
at 4:30 in the morning?
72
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,572
Yeah, I couldn't sleep, either.
73
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,840
But, um, since we're both awake,
do you want to talk?
74
00:03:55,707 --> 00:03:57,252
Do we have to do this now?
75
00:03:57,378 --> 00:04:00,441
Can you believe she married
a guy named Morris?
76
00:04:00,565 --> 00:04:01,801
Morris, Sam.
77
00:04:02,218 --> 00:04:04,960
I mean, I don't even think
he's a real cowboy.
78
00:04:05,368 --> 00:04:06,713
You know, I mean,
79
00:04:06,876 --> 00:04:08,993
how long has she even known this guy,
a week?
80
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,252
Now she's going to shack up
with a total stranger.
81
00:04:11,378 --> 00:04:12,911
Yeah, good idea, mom.
82
00:04:13,038 --> 00:04:15,342
She's absolutely going to regret this.
83
00:04:16,468 --> 00:04:19,282
Oh, blue tie.
Definitely better than the red.
84
00:04:20,696 --> 00:04:23,313
Sometimes, if you love somebody enough,
85
00:04:23,436 --> 00:04:25,723
you have got to let them
hit rock bottom.
86
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:29,692
Even though I might want to kick
Morris' ass to the curb right now,
87
00:04:30,105 --> 00:04:31,550
I'm not gonna do it.
88
00:04:31,676 --> 00:04:34,430
I'm gonna stand strong,
and I'm gonna be firm.
89
00:04:34,556 --> 00:04:35,550
Hello?
90
00:04:36,105 --> 00:04:38,252
You know, my mom and I are a team,
91
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,370
and teammates do not go out and
get married behind each other's backs.
92
00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:42,803
That's one thing I know.
93
00:04:42,925 --> 00:04:46,791
So I'm gonna take the one thing
away from her she loves the most... me.
94
00:04:46,916 --> 00:04:49,870
I'm not gonna move back in
until she admits she made a mistake.
95
00:04:51,148 --> 00:04:52,173
I can't do it.
96
00:04:52,738 --> 00:04:54,411
I can't work. I'm too upset.
97
00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:58,420
Sock, come on, it'll be good for you.
It'll take your mind off of things.
98
00:04:58,586 --> 00:05:00,231
OK, but I need a push.
99
00:05:03,947 --> 00:05:06,723
Sam, I am a wall of misery, all right?
100
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:09,600
You're gonna have to do
a little better than that. Let's go.
101
00:05:13,468 --> 00:05:14,233
Sock?!
102
00:05:15,336 --> 00:05:17,730
Oh, my god, Sock, are you OK?
103
00:05:17,857 --> 00:05:19,822
Hey, did you just fly in here?
104
00:05:20,135 --> 00:05:21,862
Sam moved me with his mind.
105
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:24,430
The devil must be screwing with me.
106
00:05:24,735 --> 00:05:26,621
What do you think it means?
107
00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:29,222
It might have something
to do with the soul.
108
00:05:29,347 --> 00:05:30,341
That...
109
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:31,690
was wicked.
110
00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:34,581
Let's do it again.
Ben, help me with the tree.
111
00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:36,491
Sam, get back over there.
112
00:05:41,158 --> 00:05:42,713
Hey, do you know where Sock is?
113
00:05:42,837 --> 00:05:44,593
I need him to fake a seizure for me.
114
00:05:44,716 --> 00:05:46,301
That is an unusual request.
115
00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:48,773
Yeah, well, Ted saw Sock fall
into the Christmas tree.
116
00:05:48,896 --> 00:05:50,971
He's terrified of
a workman's comp lawsuit.
117
00:05:51,355 --> 00:05:53,273
Terrified Ted is always a good time.
118
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,350
- Sock's in house wares.
- Great, thank you.
119
00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:17,503
There's something about the sea air.
120
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:19,012
- You know?
- Yeah.
121
00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:21,803
Maybe it's because
all of life came from the sea.
122
00:06:21,997 --> 00:06:24,303
It's primordial. Clean, fresh.
123
00:06:24,846 --> 00:06:26,873
And almost entirely covers up the stench
124
00:06:26,997 --> 00:06:28,803
of that decomposing corpse down there.
125
00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:34,391
- Who is that?
- A vagrant, I think.
126
00:06:34,858 --> 00:06:36,401
No one of consequence.
127
00:06:36,648 --> 00:06:37,890
Where's its head?
128
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:39,161
Removed,
129
00:06:39,415 --> 00:06:40,862
and partially eaten
130
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,012
by one Phillip Carmona.
131
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:45,111
Hell's latest overachiever.
132
00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:47,610
- Eaten?
- Yeah.
133
00:06:48,195 --> 00:06:50,373
In life, Carmona was a cannibal.
134
00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:53,400
Had a predilection for eating the brains
135
00:06:53,525 --> 00:06:54,670
and the heart.
136
00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:02,780
- So the soul ate its heart, too?
- No, I don't think so.
137
00:07:03,445 --> 00:07:04,802
He got scared away.
138
00:07:05,498 --> 00:07:08,383
Look, he always finishes his meals
and he always eats at night.
139
00:07:08,506 --> 00:07:10,791
Now you just follow the corpse,
you'll find your soul.
140
00:07:10,915 --> 00:07:12,551
Excuse me a moment.
141
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:24,480
What's up?
142
00:07:27,075 --> 00:07:29,451
You're gonna be sorry
when I'm famous, Rachel.
143
00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:31,700
Rachel, how can you date an accountant?
144
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,627
- Great titles, man.
- Thanks.
145
00:07:33,781 --> 00:07:35,383
They're about my ex.
146
00:07:35,506 --> 00:07:36,705
Her name was Rachel.
147
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:39,132
Really? Not a nice girl, I take it.
148
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,003
She left me for following my dream,
149
00:07:41,238 --> 00:07:42,970
the dream of rock and roll.
150
00:07:43,098 --> 00:07:45,802
You're probably drinking
a lot more than usual.
151
00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:48,090
You gotta numb the pain, bro.
152
00:07:48,756 --> 00:07:50,003
Jerry Belvedere.
153
00:07:50,465 --> 00:07:52,363
A&R for popblast records.
154
00:07:54,298 --> 00:07:56,800
Ryan Milner. My stage name's Ryan.
155
00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:59,152
- No last name.
- Ryan.
156
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:01,643
You know, Ryan,
I bet you and I can make a deal
157
00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:04,243
that'll be extremely beneficial
to the both of us.
158
00:08:04,365 --> 00:08:07,113
Mr. Belvedere,
can I talk to you for a second?
159
00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:16,660
What are you doing?
160
00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:18,721
What does it look like?
161
00:08:18,995 --> 00:08:21,582
You're setting that guy up
so you can buy his soul.
162
00:08:21,746 --> 00:08:22,870
Duh, Sam.
163
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:26,043
Come on, just leave him alone.
He's pathetic enough as it is!
164
00:08:26,287 --> 00:08:28,800
Oh, wow, Sammy, maybe you're right.
165
00:08:29,065 --> 00:08:30,513
If I'm hearing you correctly,
166
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:34,170
you're basically calling me
a morally bankrupt, evil being.
167
00:08:35,127 --> 00:08:36,313
Yes, more or less.
168
00:08:36,597 --> 00:08:38,141
Then this makes perfect sense.
169
00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:05,921
Hey, uh, I gotta get going.
170
00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:09,210
Wait, wait, wait, is that her? Cady?
171
00:09:09,528 --> 00:09:12,013
Yeah, yeah, she's just...
We're gonna hang out.
172
00:09:12,178 --> 00:09:14,551
Oh, OK, well, bring her over here.
What's the big deal?
173
00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:16,640
I mean, we're friends, right?
174
00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:18,621
So, why can't I meet your girlfriend?
175
00:09:18,747 --> 00:09:20,883
I mean, unless
you're trying to hide her from me.
176
00:09:21,006 --> 00:09:22,813
- Why would I do that?
- Too late.
177
00:09:23,915 --> 00:09:25,362
- Hi, cutie!
- Hey.
178
00:09:25,975 --> 00:09:27,312
- Hi, I'm Cady.
- Hi.
179
00:09:28,647 --> 00:09:29,831
Uh, Andi.
180
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,450
I've heard a lot about you.
181
00:09:32,576 --> 00:09:35,200
- Yeah, all good things.
- Oh, good to hear.
182
00:09:35,695 --> 00:09:37,201
That's a nice necklace.
183
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,473
Oh, thank you. Sam got it for me.
184
00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:42,790
Yeah, actually,
he showed it to me... once.
185
00:09:44,978 --> 00:09:47,960
Andi used to play soccer in high school,
like you.
186
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:50,920
- You guys... did that...
- Well, enjoy your lunch.
187
00:09:51,046 --> 00:09:52,400
And your necklace.
188
00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:56,291
She hates me.
189
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,820
- No, she doesn't hate you.
- Come on, Sam, it's obvious.
190
00:09:59,948 --> 00:10:01,690
Did you guys have a thing?
191
00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:03,600
Yeah... Let's sit down.
192
00:10:08,345 --> 00:10:10,693
All right, this... this is my fault.
193
00:10:10,817 --> 00:10:12,590
All right, the necklace you're wearing
194
00:10:12,717 --> 00:10:15,383
was actually one
I had originally bought for her.
195
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:17,952
When?
196
00:10:18,378 --> 00:10:21,740
- Uh, a few weeks ago?
- And then you gave it to me?
197
00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:25,010
Yeah, but to be fair,
I didn't plan on giving it to you.
198
00:10:25,138 --> 00:10:28,083
I... I just, I got caught when you found
it and I made a rash decision. I...
199
00:10:28,438 --> 00:10:30,082
So why did you keep it?
200
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,253
I... I don't have an answer.
201
00:10:34,847 --> 00:10:36,192
That's weird, Sam.
202
00:10:36,796 --> 00:10:38,743
- Cady...
- Don't follow me.
203
00:10:46,526 --> 00:10:49,001
Next time I buy a present for a girl...
204
00:10:50,255 --> 00:10:52,803
I need you to punch me
in the junk. Hard.
205
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:56,023
- That's the only way I punch.
- Not now, Sock!
206
00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:58,492
- What's the problem?
- Cady's mad at me,
207
00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:00,322
Andi's all pissed off. I don't...
208
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:02,001
Will you listen to this guy?
209
00:11:02,126 --> 00:11:05,000
Oh, wah,
I have 2 chicks fighting over me!
210
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,871
What am I gonna do?
Why am I so loveable? Shut up.
211
00:11:08,036 --> 00:11:09,253
Enjoy it, Sam.
212
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:11,731
Or at least, you know,
try and flip it into a three-way.
213
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:14,800
- That's what I'd do.
- Hey, this guy Ryan's pretty lame.
214
00:11:15,098 --> 00:11:18,591
This CD is for all the dreamers
who dream of the rock and roll dream,
215
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,562
so dream on.
216
00:11:20,688 --> 00:11:22,882
I gotta...
I gotta side with the devil on this one.
217
00:11:23,105 --> 00:11:25,683
- Some people just belong in hell.
- No, I feel bad for him.
218
00:11:25,807 --> 00:11:28,880
The devil's gonna sucker him into a deal
and he'll be just as screwed as I am.
219
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:31,743
What can you do? I mean, if the guy
wants to sell his soul to the devil,
220
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:34,182
- it's not your problem.
- But I could at least warn him.
221
00:11:34,306 --> 00:11:36,710
If somebody had stepped in
before my parents sold my soul...
222
00:11:36,836 --> 00:11:37,761
Whatever.
223
00:11:38,077 --> 00:11:40,322
Devil says something
about the soul eating after dark.
224
00:11:40,485 --> 00:11:43,140
- Don't we have to get to the morgue?
- No, we have time. We can stop
225
00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:45,413
- at the marina along the way.
- Then can we swing
226
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,622
by my mom's house, too?
I kinda want to egg her bedroom window.
227
00:11:54,578 --> 00:11:56,630
Well, this is where he was.
228
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:58,843
Maybe he's playing in another spot.
229
00:11:59,007 --> 00:12:02,083
Yeah, but know where?
I mean, we can't look on every corner...
230
00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:03,720
I think I know where he might be.
231
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,423
Looks like the devil got to him first.
232
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,442
Pike Arena? That's huge.
233
00:12:16,808 --> 00:12:17,900
Damn it.
234
00:12:18,247 --> 00:12:20,001
Devil said follow the body.
235
00:12:20,126 --> 00:12:21,973
Carmona only feeds at night.
236
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,853
Pretty good, right?
237
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:28,241
- Look it.
- Jose Miller. Not bad, yeah.
238
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:30,670
How'd you get Josie
to give you her ID badge?
239
00:12:30,798 --> 00:12:33,011
It's part of some memory trinkets
I stole from her.
240
00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:36,783
She took so much and gave back
so little. So Jose Miller it is.
241
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:39,091
Well, as long as that thing
gets us into the morgue,
242
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:41,740
- where the body is, who cares?
- It's almost 6:00.
243
00:12:41,866 --> 00:12:44,092
We need to be ready
when the soul comes back to feed.
244
00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:46,880
Let's see what we're saddled with
this time.
245
00:12:50,777 --> 00:12:53,731
Nice. A spear gun. Very James Bond.
246
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,771
You say this job isn't cool.
247
00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:03,282
Evening, lieu-tective.
248
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:06,101
Just gotta get these experts
in for a dental match
249
00:13:06,228 --> 00:13:08,031
on a certain Jonathan Deere.
250
00:13:09,306 --> 00:13:10,290
All right?
251
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,482
So he always finishes his meal?
252
00:13:13,787 --> 00:13:15,823
Yeah, we gotta find the headless body.
253
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,892
Which one do you think it is?
254
00:13:19,857 --> 00:13:21,502
It's gonna be this one.
255
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:30,361
Yeah, well, Carmona
didn't come back for seconds.
256
00:13:31,396 --> 00:13:32,402
Excuse me.
257
00:13:33,318 --> 00:13:34,840
What are you doing here?
258
00:13:34,966 --> 00:13:37,942
Oh, uh, we're from, uh, downtown.
259
00:13:38,478 --> 00:13:41,103
Downtown branch,
and we're actually taking over the case.
260
00:13:41,228 --> 00:13:42,603
It's a jurisdictional thing.
261
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:45,201
- Juris... jurisdictional.
- What case are you talking about?
262
00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:47,663
Actually, that is a need to know.
263
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:50,072
We wish we could do something
about it, but we can't.
264
00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:51,441
It's just... whoa.
265
00:13:52,278 --> 00:13:54,122
This ID is expired.
266
00:13:54,587 --> 00:13:56,962
And the picture is pasted on.
267
00:13:57,456 --> 00:13:58,250
What...
268
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,903
- Get out of here.
- OK, but could I possibly have
269
00:14:01,028 --> 00:14:02,071
the ID back?
270
00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,302
- I'm calling the police.
- No, I... keep it!
271
00:14:09,036 --> 00:14:11,343
I thought you said
that jurisdiction thing always works.
272
00:14:11,465 --> 00:14:13,603
Why do you always have
to point out my flaws, Ben?
273
00:14:13,726 --> 00:14:14,930
So what do we do now?
274
00:14:15,107 --> 00:14:17,302
We'll just stop the soul
before he ever gets to the body.
275
00:14:17,427 --> 00:14:18,751
There's only 2 ways in.
276
00:14:18,876 --> 00:14:21,390
Let's seal up the doors
so we know which way Carmona's coming.
277
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:22,542
OK, good one.
278
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:28,030
All right, come on, Carmona.
279
00:14:28,607 --> 00:14:32,343
Whoa, sorry. Oh! It's my mom.
280
00:14:33,508 --> 00:14:34,890
Hurts, doesn't it?
281
00:14:35,018 --> 00:14:38,172
All right, be cool. All right, be cool.
282
00:14:40,788 --> 00:14:41,803
You guys, look.
283
00:14:42,328 --> 00:14:44,262
Look, it's him, it's the soul. It's him.
284
00:14:48,517 --> 00:14:49,513
Go, go, go!
285
00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:56,643
On three! 1, 2, 3!
286
00:15:00,178 --> 00:15:02,122
Where is he? Where is he?
287
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:03,963
Oh, damn it!
288
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,850
It's locked, it's locked.
289
00:15:07,138 --> 00:15:08,193
Go, go, go.
290
00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:30,853
Boy, you spook easily. Huh.
291
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:34,262
- It's just rubber.
- So it was you, right?
292
00:15:34,436 --> 00:15:36,733
Use your words, Sammy. What was me?
293
00:15:36,857 --> 00:15:38,071
This.
294
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:42,263
- You got Ryan a concert.
- Oh, wow, this came out pretty sharp.
295
00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:45,482
Yeah. The umlaut was my idea.
296
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:48,072
- You made him sell you his soul?
- Not yet, but I will.
297
00:15:48,236 --> 00:15:50,882
It's a classic
"first taste is free" gambit.
298
00:15:51,195 --> 00:15:53,241
Ryan gets his gig, tastes a little fame,
299
00:15:53,365 --> 00:15:55,221
and then while
he's on that endorphin high,
300
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,161
I slap that contract
right in front of him.
301
00:15:57,327 --> 00:15:59,292
- Never fails.
- That really works?
302
00:15:59,456 --> 00:16:01,202
We're talkin'about rock and roll, man.
303
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,890
The devil's music.
Comin'down the crossroads.
304
00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,253
Sell your soul for rock and roll, baby.
305
00:16:06,428 --> 00:16:08,741
It's not funny.
He's gonna spend eternity in hell!
306
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,973
Oh, you're right, you're right.
It's never a laughing matter, Sammy.
307
00:16:12,135 --> 00:16:13,683
But, hey, let's talk about you.
308
00:16:14,137 --> 00:16:16,820
What's up with that cannibal of yours?
Why haven't you caught him?
309
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:19,313
- I don't know where he is.
- Talk to the mother.
310
00:16:20,038 --> 00:16:22,030
- Carmona has a mom?
- Yep.
311
00:16:22,835 --> 00:16:24,181
And you know moms.
312
00:16:24,337 --> 00:16:27,463
- They love talkin'about their kids.
- Even when the kid's a people eater?
313
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,712
Well, it's just more to talk about.
314
00:16:33,975 --> 00:16:35,281
Hi, Mrs. Carmona.
315
00:16:35,887 --> 00:16:38,163
We were wondering
if we could talk to you about your son.
316
00:16:38,755 --> 00:16:40,542
Wait, wait, wait, you don't understand!
317
00:16:40,706 --> 00:16:43,082
Why don't you vultures leave me alone!
318
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:45,083
But we're not vultures, Mrs. Carmona.
319
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:48,003
My son didn't do any
of the things they said.
320
00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:51,373
- He was a good boy.
- Oh, I'm sure he was.
321
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,552
He was our favorite camp counselor.
322
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:02,890
You knew him at Camp Soaring Arrow?
323
00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:06,500
Yes, we did know him
at Camp Soaring Arrow.
324
00:17:07,396 --> 00:17:09,780
The memories are flooding in.
325
00:17:09,948 --> 00:17:13,493
You know, toasting marshmallows
and panty raids and
326
00:17:13,618 --> 00:17:15,270
learning how to use your...
327
00:17:15,398 --> 00:17:17,203
- Archery.
- Bow and arrow.
328
00:17:17,488 --> 00:17:18,743
You like my son?
329
00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:22,040
Yeah, we thought your son was great.
330
00:17:23,157 --> 00:17:25,850
- Would you boys like some pie?
- Sure.
331
00:17:28,258 --> 00:17:31,982
Here's the picture of Phillip
in the school play one Thanksgiving.
332
00:17:32,107 --> 00:17:33,313
He's so cute.
333
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,452
- He's the kid dressed in brown?
- Oh, yes.
334
00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:37,681
He played gravy.
335
00:17:39,255 --> 00:17:42,062
Oh, here he is in the pee wee football.
336
00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:44,440
And this is Phillip
in his high school graduation.
337
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:46,533
Such a sweet boy.
338
00:17:46,855 --> 00:17:50,293
- You and your son were close, huh?
- He was my best friend.
339
00:17:50,846 --> 00:17:53,493
That's nice.
That's how it's supposed to be.
340
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:55,703
Yeah, it's true. Yep, you're right.
341
00:17:55,945 --> 00:17:58,800
So what was Phillip like away from camp?
342
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:02,042
Where did he like to go? Was there any
special place he liked to hang out?
343
00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:05,480
- Or hide out, maybe.
- Well, not really.
344
00:18:05,837 --> 00:18:08,063
Mostly he liked to hang out with me.
345
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:14,472
Sometimes right after
the sun goes down, I imagine I see him,
346
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:18,351
out there at the end of the driveway,
or over in the backyard.
347
00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:20,532
The other night,
348
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:24,803
I could have sworn
I saw him sitting on the swing.
349
00:18:25,566 --> 00:18:27,031
It seemed so real.
350
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,053
Bye bye, Mrs. C. Have a good day.
351
00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:32,742
All right.
352
00:18:33,408 --> 00:18:35,453
He just comes here
to hang out with his mom.
353
00:18:35,617 --> 00:18:37,140
Well, can you blame the guy?
354
00:18:37,265 --> 00:18:40,370
I mean, that... that, my friends,
is a real mom.
355
00:18:40,847 --> 00:18:43,712
A beautiful, selfless,
kind-hearted woman
356
00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:46,253
who built her entire life
around her son.
357
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:49,423
Even though he was
a crazy-assed convicted cannibal.
358
00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:51,021
Gets me, right here.
359
00:18:51,686 --> 00:18:53,031
Right... right here.
360
00:18:53,838 --> 00:18:56,280
Is it... where's your heart?
On the left?
361
00:19:07,508 --> 00:19:09,892
OK, Ryan, sound check on mic.
362
00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:42,140
- Tommy, how was that?
- Great, Ryan, let's take five.
363
00:19:43,547 --> 00:19:45,060
All right. Thank you, gorgeous.
364
00:19:45,616 --> 00:19:48,573
- Hey, from the record company, right?
- You're friends with Jerry?
365
00:19:48,695 --> 00:19:50,780
Yeah, yeah, that... that's me.
366
00:19:50,907 --> 00:19:52,580
- How ya doin'?
- Awesome.
367
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,572
Listen, Ryan, did you sign
any contract or make any promises...
368
00:19:56,736 --> 00:20:00,561
I can't believe it. Tomorrow night,
every seat's gonna be filled.
369
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,990
Ryan!
Did you sign anything?
370
00:20:03,907 --> 00:20:05,952
What... no, man.
I didn't get any paperwork yet.
371
00:20:06,075 --> 00:20:08,333
But don't worry.
When I do, I'll sign it. No questions.
372
00:20:08,496 --> 00:20:10,960
No, no, I'm trying to tell you
to not sign a contract with...
373
00:20:11,088 --> 00:20:13,000
with the record company. Just walk away.
374
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:16,843
- Dude, what are you talkin'about?
- This isn't what you think it is.
375
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,521
Did Jerry mention anything about
376
00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:21,130
what you might sacrifice for this deal?
377
00:20:21,855 --> 00:20:23,073
But I'll do anything.
378
00:20:23,198 --> 00:20:26,682
Jerry is the devil, and he's trying
to get you to sell your soul, OK?
379
00:20:30,016 --> 00:20:32,402
Get out of here, man, are you crazy?
380
00:20:32,568 --> 00:20:34,692
Think about it!
How did you sell out this entire arena
381
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,063
when nobody's even heard you before?
382
00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:39,111
Maybe...
383
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,570
- they like my songs.
- How did they even hear your songs?
384
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,953
I mean, come on, doesn't it bother you
that this all happened so easily?
385
00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:49,111
He's the devil,
and if you go through with this,
386
00:20:49,235 --> 00:20:51,173
you're gonna spend eternity
in hell when you die.
387
00:20:52,988 --> 00:20:56,172
- Who cares?
- Who car... are you insane?
388
00:20:57,558 --> 00:20:58,690
Hey, look.
389
00:20:58,818 --> 00:21:02,451
Yesterday, I was nothing.
My wife left me.
390
00:21:02,945 --> 00:21:04,620
My friends thought I was a failure.
391
00:21:04,745 --> 00:21:06,790
But today, I'm a rock star, man.
392
00:21:07,556 --> 00:21:09,402
You got it? I'm a rock star!
393
00:21:10,158 --> 00:21:11,401
They were wrong.
394
00:21:11,958 --> 00:21:13,403
They were all wrong.
395
00:21:13,866 --> 00:21:16,311
I'll worry about my soul when I'm dead.
396
00:21:35,276 --> 00:21:36,303
What do you want?
397
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,373
I just wanted to see
if this car had heated seats.
398
00:21:39,988 --> 00:21:41,870
I always wanted to try heated seats.
399
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:44,322
- Please get out of my car.
- Fine, fine.
400
00:21:44,446 --> 00:21:47,860
After the way you helped me out
with Ryan, I owe you one, buddy.
401
00:21:47,986 --> 00:21:49,263
How did I help you out?
402
00:21:49,426 --> 00:21:51,220
Well, you remember when I told you that
403
00:21:51,345 --> 00:21:55,000
that first time is for free gambit
never fails? White lie.
404
00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:59,401
Usually the sticking point
is when I reveal that I'm the devil.
405
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,242
You know, that freaks some people out.
406
00:22:01,408 --> 00:22:04,390
But this time I mixed it up
a little bit. See, I had you
407
00:22:04,516 --> 00:22:07,780
deliver the news.
You're utterly unthreatening.
408
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,493
When you say "devil",
it sounds sorta cute.
409
00:22:12,278 --> 00:22:15,573
So now that he's over the initial shock,
I can step in and close the deal.
410
00:22:15,696 --> 00:22:17,711
I just wanted to tell you that
I appreciate it.
411
00:22:17,985 --> 00:22:19,730
Just thanks again, buddy.
412
00:22:38,855 --> 00:22:39,853
Hey, Josie.
413
00:22:39,977 --> 00:22:42,023
You are coming with me.
414
00:22:42,317 --> 00:22:44,093
Why were you at the coroner's office?
415
00:22:44,217 --> 00:22:45,891
I got a call from my grandmother.
416
00:22:46,016 --> 00:22:47,902
She thought
my uncle Hector was hit by a car.
417
00:22:48,028 --> 00:22:50,950
Turns out, he's OK,
the whole thing was a false alarm.
418
00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:53,021
Write it down.
419
00:22:53,147 --> 00:22:54,370
You guys just
420
00:22:54,586 --> 00:22:58,453
happened to go to the morgue
the same night my old ID badge shows up.
421
00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:00,013
Inexplicable, but true.
422
00:23:00,135 --> 00:23:02,162
Why would I want to use your ID, Josie?
423
00:23:02,286 --> 00:23:03,721
I look nothing like you.
424
00:23:04,115 --> 00:23:06,011
Where were you
when you heard about your uncle?
425
00:23:06,245 --> 00:23:08,121
I was at Sock's house playing nintendo.
426
00:23:08,247 --> 00:23:09,893
- You sure about that?
- Positive.
427
00:23:10,018 --> 00:23:11,922
Nintendo at Sock's.
Ben was racking up points.
428
00:23:12,048 --> 00:23:14,201
He almost didn't take
the call about uncle Hector.
429
00:23:14,325 --> 00:23:16,380
And you didn't use my ID
to get into the morgue?
430
00:23:16,507 --> 00:23:18,850
Why would I use your ID?
I look nothing like you.
431
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,363
I... sorry, I...
432
00:23:23,466 --> 00:23:25,600
Uncle Hector, Nintendo,
I look nothing like you.
433
00:23:25,728 --> 00:23:27,612
- Booya.
- "Booya."
434
00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:29,240
What does that mean?
435
00:23:29,405 --> 00:23:30,963
That means you're not gonna fool us
436
00:23:31,086 --> 00:23:32,962
with any of your lawyer
mumbo jumbo legalese.
437
00:23:33,086 --> 00:23:34,783
What would I want to trick you about?
438
00:23:34,907 --> 00:23:37,363
What is it that you're so excited
to be throwin'in my face?
439
00:23:37,486 --> 00:23:38,481
The truth.
440
00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:41,922
I get very excited about confirming
the truth. It sets me free.
441
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,541
The truth that you three tell
in exactly the same words,
442
00:23:45,896 --> 00:23:47,941
- exactly the same way.
- Yep.
443
00:23:54,258 --> 00:23:55,041
Why?
444
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,680
I'll find out what you're up to.
445
00:23:57,055 --> 00:23:58,870
Then I'll show you "Boo-yah."
446
00:24:00,567 --> 00:24:01,551
Oh, do it.
447
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,851
I dare ya, show me your booya!
448
00:24:18,167 --> 00:24:21,292
- Hey, I wasn't sure you'd come.
- Yeah, me, either.
449
00:24:21,948 --> 00:24:24,692
- Thanks for the flowers.
- Yeah, of course.
450
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:33,880
I don't know what to say to you, Sam.
451
00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:36,250
You don't have to say anything.
I'm a jerk.
452
00:24:36,376 --> 00:24:38,180
You saw that necklace and I freaked out.
453
00:24:38,305 --> 00:24:40,431
I'm sorry.
I should have just told you the truth.
454
00:24:40,607 --> 00:24:42,803
It wasn't about the necklace, Sam.
455
00:24:42,928 --> 00:24:44,023
What do you mean?
456
00:24:44,146 --> 00:24:46,991
Look, I can get over the fact that
you bought a present for another girl.
457
00:24:47,117 --> 00:24:49,940
It's just...
I don't know that you can get over it.
458
00:24:52,957 --> 00:24:54,030
Yeah, I can.
459
00:24:55,037 --> 00:24:57,663
It just seems to me like
maybe you still have feelings for Andi.
460
00:24:57,788 --> 00:24:59,633
And if you do, just tell me.
461
00:24:59,755 --> 00:25:01,580
Yeah, I'm gonna be sad, but
462
00:25:01,947 --> 00:25:03,921
I'm not a consolation prize.
463
00:25:04,147 --> 00:25:05,143
Cady...
464
00:25:05,865 --> 00:25:07,671
I don't think that about you, all right?
465
00:25:07,796 --> 00:25:10,383
I'm with you. Not her, OK?
466
00:25:13,118 --> 00:25:14,161
- OK.
- OK?
467
00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:24,971
Oh, come on, man. Just answer the phone.
468
00:25:25,096 --> 00:25:26,871
It's like 6 times she's called already.
469
00:25:26,995 --> 00:25:27,992
Seven.
470
00:25:28,117 --> 00:25:30,573
Just talk to your mom!
What if she's trying to apologize?
471
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,471
She's not calling to apologize, Sam.
472
00:25:32,596 --> 00:25:35,413
All right, she's calling to get me to
accept her dumb decision about Morris.
473
00:25:35,575 --> 00:25:36,780
And I don't accept him.
474
00:25:36,948 --> 00:25:39,381
I reject him.
Right, until she rejects him, too,
475
00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:42,531
- we got nothin'to talk about.
- What if she never rejects him?
476
00:25:42,656 --> 00:25:44,191
I mean, have you thought about that?
477
00:25:44,316 --> 00:25:46,141
I mean,
you might not have a choice here.
478
00:25:46,265 --> 00:25:48,461
I do have a choice, Ben.
I have a very good choice.
479
00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:50,650
- Sock, what are you doing?
- Starving, Sam.
480
00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:53,341
I'm gonna go in there,
I'm gonna talk to Mrs. Carmona.
481
00:25:53,465 --> 00:25:56,452
Sweet little Mrs. Carmona,
see if she has any more pie.
482
00:25:58,838 --> 00:26:00,060
What about the soul?
483
00:26:00,187 --> 00:26:02,350
The soul's supposed
to show up any minute now.
484
00:26:05,895 --> 00:26:07,640
Hello? Mrs. Carmona.
485
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,772
Hi, it's Sock. Remember me?
486
00:26:12,385 --> 00:26:13,721
I was just, uh,
487
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:17,511
driving by, and I thought
I smelled some of that delicious pi...
488
00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:24,510
Pie?
489
00:26:31,978 --> 00:26:34,563
Oh, no. Mrs. C?
490
00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:41,690
You...
491
00:26:42,357 --> 00:26:46,390
sicko, sociopathic, bastard.
492
00:26:46,747 --> 00:26:48,952
- How could you?
- I was hungry.
493
00:26:49,076 --> 00:26:50,521
All she had was pie.
494
00:26:52,865 --> 00:26:54,111
She loved you...
495
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,031
through everything.
496
00:26:56,765 --> 00:26:59,502
She supported you completely!
497
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,263
And you killed her
498
00:27:01,827 --> 00:27:05,330
because you didn't want
to eat delicious pie?!
499
00:27:11,938 --> 00:27:12,931
Come here!
500
00:27:18,986 --> 00:27:19,803
No, no!
501
00:27:20,557 --> 00:27:21,973
You could have eaten anyone!
502
00:27:22,095 --> 00:27:25,322
She was loving, and sweet, and
you chewed her up like she was nothing!
503
00:27:25,448 --> 00:27:26,443
Nothing!
504
00:28:02,857 --> 00:28:04,301
I'll go get a table.
505
00:28:05,927 --> 00:28:07,272
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
506
00:28:08,336 --> 00:28:10,781
Listen, I should never
have given anyone that necklace.
507
00:28:10,906 --> 00:28:11,990
That was a mistake.
508
00:28:12,118 --> 00:28:14,243
No, listen, I'm the one
that should be apologizing, OK?
509
00:28:14,368 --> 00:28:16,852
I was a jerk.
I deliberately provoked that fight, OK?
510
00:28:16,977 --> 00:28:18,860
I should have just... kept my cool.
511
00:28:20,035 --> 00:28:22,362
Good. We both can admit
we're awful people.
512
00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:24,742
I don't think I'm awful.
513
00:28:31,067 --> 00:28:32,213
What was that?
514
00:28:32,606 --> 00:28:34,050
Nothing. We just...
515
00:28:34,776 --> 00:28:37,353
cleared up the whole necklace incident.
516
00:28:38,105 --> 00:28:40,352
We're all going to be friends, yay.
517
00:28:40,596 --> 00:28:42,012
Do you want to be friends?
518
00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,811
'Cause that's not what it sounds like.
519
00:28:43,937 --> 00:28:45,813
You know what, you need to let that go.
520
00:28:45,938 --> 00:28:48,471
He's seeing somebody else.
I'm not getting in the middle of that.
521
00:28:48,648 --> 00:28:50,601
I wouldn't let you get
in the middle of it, Andi.
522
00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:52,250
That just serves as further proof
523
00:28:52,376 --> 00:28:55,311
that we can't trust a word out
of Sam Oliver's mouth.
524
00:28:55,488 --> 00:28:57,610
Liars. All three of 'em.
525
00:28:58,186 --> 00:28:59,943
You're just mad 'cause
they outsmarted you.
526
00:29:00,108 --> 00:29:02,830
They did not outsmart me.
And I'm not mad.
527
00:29:03,498 --> 00:29:05,102
- I'm furious.
- Yeah.
528
00:29:05,756 --> 00:29:08,853
- Would you look at this?
- Promotional coasters.
529
00:29:09,406 --> 00:29:10,961
The devil's really doin'it up.
530
00:29:11,126 --> 00:29:12,753
OK, guys, can we get a toast here?
531
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:14,252
To Mrs. Carmona.
532
00:29:14,705 --> 00:29:17,952
Loving mother who deserved
much better than being eaten.
533
00:29:18,575 --> 00:29:19,811
You're right.
534
00:29:20,265 --> 00:29:21,410
You're right.
535
00:29:24,035 --> 00:29:25,261
I gotta say,
536
00:29:25,566 --> 00:29:26,710
cannibal soul,
537
00:29:27,276 --> 00:29:29,800
scariest soul we've ever captured.
Hands down.
538
00:29:29,925 --> 00:29:31,470
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
539
00:29:32,146 --> 00:29:35,253
Cannibal soul vs. fire soul,
fire soul wins every time.
540
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:37,600
Well, maybe from a distance, yeah.
541
00:29:37,726 --> 00:29:39,731
But, you know, get them in a cage match,
542
00:29:39,905 --> 00:29:42,440
cannibal soul gets in close,
face is gone.
543
00:29:42,565 --> 00:29:43,922
OK, cage match.
544
00:29:44,995 --> 00:29:48,580
Cannibal soul vs.
crazy dog monster soul.
545
00:29:48,708 --> 00:29:50,580
That's interesting, man. I like that.
546
00:29:50,705 --> 00:29:53,871
And cannibal soul wouldn't eat the dog,
'cause it's a dog, obviously,
547
00:29:54,055 --> 00:29:57,000
- and it's not a man, so...
- But, I don't know, Benji.
548
00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:59,212
If I got hungry enough,
I would definitely eat a dog.
549
00:29:59,377 --> 00:30:00,512
Would you eat a man?
550
00:30:00,637 --> 00:30:02,441
It depends on what man
we're talking about.
551
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:04,750
I mean, if we're talking about
George Clooney, then, yeah.
552
00:30:04,877 --> 00:30:06,601
Because he's gorgeous and I hate him.
553
00:30:06,727 --> 00:30:09,450
So that proves my point right there.
Scariest soul of all time,
554
00:30:09,576 --> 00:30:11,362
- cannibal soul.
- Yeah, I agree.
555
00:30:11,487 --> 00:30:14,033
How bad do you think
he'd scare this guy?
556
00:30:37,148 --> 00:30:39,373
- Doh, Sam!
- Sorry.
557
00:30:39,945 --> 00:30:41,763
- That hurts.
- Sorry.
558
00:30:42,318 --> 00:30:44,052
Come on, come on, come on.
559
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:46,320
OK, OK, OK. Safety meeting first.
560
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:49,153
Sam, make sure you release
the soul from the vessel.
561
00:30:49,275 --> 00:30:51,563
- Sock brings Ryan down here.
- Bet your ass I will.
562
00:30:51,688 --> 00:30:54,011
I'm gonna dangle this bacon.
I'm gonna make sure that guy
563
00:30:54,137 --> 00:30:56,810
turns into a crazy eating thing.
Rock star poops his pants out of fear,
564
00:30:56,936 --> 00:30:59,522
refuses to sign his soul over
to the devil, we all go home happy.
565
00:30:59,645 --> 00:31:01,131
All right, bring it.
566
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:40,361
Yo, Ry-on.
567
00:31:40,488 --> 00:31:42,021
Is that how you say it? Ry-on?
568
00:31:42,148 --> 00:31:43,723
- Rian.
- Rian, all right.
569
00:31:43,846 --> 00:31:45,192
Hey, listen, Ryan,
570
00:31:45,395 --> 00:31:48,781
I came to the show tonight
with 10 very open-minded young ladies
571
00:31:48,908 --> 00:31:52,433
who are just dying
to meet a real star. You.
572
00:31:52,558 --> 00:31:54,230
- Well, let's go!
- All right.
573
00:31:54,357 --> 00:31:56,102
There's a star right here!
574
00:31:56,668 --> 00:31:57,911
Just under here.
575
00:32:04,706 --> 00:32:05,740
Hey, Ryan.
576
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:09,882
Where are... all the open-minded ladies?
577
00:32:10,046 --> 00:32:11,910
We're about to show you
what's going to happen
578
00:32:12,037 --> 00:32:13,702
if you sign your soul away to the devil.
579
00:32:13,827 --> 00:32:14,670
You see him?
580
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:17,142
He's actually an escaped soul from hell,
and in a second,
581
00:32:17,306 --> 00:32:19,501
he's going to turn into a monster.
582
00:32:20,016 --> 00:32:21,100
You guys are nuts.
583
00:32:21,266 --> 00:32:23,442
- No, whoa, whoa.
- Come on, let me out.
584
00:32:23,646 --> 00:32:25,933
Listen to me.
You sign that contract,
585
00:32:26,057 --> 00:32:29,703
you're gonna spend the rest
of eternity with monsters like this.
586
00:32:30,046 --> 00:32:32,450
- Why isn't he eating the bacon?
- We should have cooked it.
587
00:32:32,577 --> 00:32:34,052
Benji, get it right in his face.
588
00:32:34,177 --> 00:32:35,532
You're making us look bad.
589
00:32:35,657 --> 00:32:37,521
That's Canadian back bacon!
Don't be a jerk!
590
00:32:37,646 --> 00:32:39,750
These people kidnapped me.
You need to call the police.
591
00:32:39,918 --> 00:32:42,882
- Shut up, and eat the bacon!
- Hey, hold on, relax.
592
00:32:43,526 --> 00:32:45,673
- Everybody just relax, all right?
593
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:48,251
Move out of the way.
- You don't scare me.
594
00:32:48,375 --> 00:32:51,391
Performing in front of thousands
of people tonight, now that's scary.
595
00:32:51,515 --> 00:32:54,112
By the way, did you catch the show?
I thought it went really good.
596
00:32:54,235 --> 00:32:56,692
- I need you to move.
- Fellas, listen.
597
00:32:57,538 --> 00:33:00,083
Tonight, the audience
and I were like one.
598
00:33:00,747 --> 00:33:01,771
We connected.
599
00:33:01,936 --> 00:33:04,471
Just like I'm gonna connect with you,
because
600
00:33:04,595 --> 00:33:06,540
my music has a simple message...
601
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,613
Oh, sweet muscular Mary!
602
00:33:14,386 --> 00:33:17,111
Oh, my god, my hand!
603
00:33:17,436 --> 00:33:19,482
- My hands!
- Sock, call 9-1-1!
604
00:33:20,536 --> 00:33:21,873
I'm gonna go after it!
605
00:33:21,998 --> 00:33:25,921
- No, don't... Sammy!
- My hand!
606
00:34:01,496 --> 00:34:02,840
Well, that worked.
607
00:34:11,928 --> 00:34:12,671
Hi.
608
00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:16,572
Brought you flowers, 'cause...
609
00:34:18,517 --> 00:34:21,851
Didn't know what else to get you.
Hey, they put it back on, that's great.
610
00:34:22,267 --> 00:34:24,290
Yeah, great.
611
00:34:24,778 --> 00:34:28,531
- You... in pain?
- I can't feel my hand, bro.
612
00:34:30,096 --> 00:34:32,101
In here, wreckage.
613
00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:34,650
Listen, Ryan, I want to apologize.
614
00:34:34,818 --> 00:34:37,673
Things got way, way out
of hand back there. And I...
615
00:34:37,798 --> 00:34:39,320
Dude, what are you talkin'about?
616
00:34:39,447 --> 00:34:41,743
- Your hand.
- I was in shock.
617
00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,122
I don't remember
what happened to my hand.
618
00:34:44,345 --> 00:34:47,293
I don't remember anything
after the second encore.
619
00:34:47,605 --> 00:34:49,730
Doc says a bear probably chomped it.
620
00:34:51,306 --> 00:34:52,551
Listen, Ryan...
621
00:34:53,468 --> 00:34:54,592
About the contract...
622
00:34:54,758 --> 00:34:56,630
Dude, I can't even get
Jerry on the phone.
623
00:34:57,067 --> 00:35:00,603
I killed at that concert last night,
and today, nothin'.
624
00:35:01,455 --> 00:35:02,971
Like I don't even exist.
625
00:35:04,206 --> 00:35:06,370
You're right, man. He is the devil.
626
00:35:07,417 --> 00:35:08,842
Now I got nothin'.
627
00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:14,150
Rachel!
628
00:35:15,778 --> 00:35:17,862
- Are you OK?
- What are you doin'here?
629
00:35:18,528 --> 00:35:19,532
I called her.
630
00:35:20,105 --> 00:35:22,170
You came back? You forgive me?
631
00:35:22,297 --> 00:35:25,413
Actually, I just wanted to make sure
you weren't gonna die or anything.
632
00:35:25,538 --> 00:35:26,530
So...
633
00:35:28,066 --> 00:35:28,933
OK.
634
00:35:30,138 --> 00:35:31,132
No, wait!
635
00:35:32,397 --> 00:35:34,142
I'm out of the life, baby.
636
00:35:34,448 --> 00:35:36,173
I can't rock out no more.
637
00:35:36,298 --> 00:35:38,553
I don't need crowds
of adoring fans anymore, Rachel.
638
00:35:38,897 --> 00:35:40,142
I just need you.
639
00:35:40,505 --> 00:35:41,601
Concert of one.
640
00:35:41,896 --> 00:35:44,531
I just don't know
if I can believe you, Ryan.
641
00:35:44,658 --> 00:35:46,231
You've told me a thousand times
642
00:35:46,356 --> 00:35:48,223
you were gonna give up
rock and roll for me.
643
00:35:48,346 --> 00:35:51,361
Yeah, but now I have
no feelings in 4 out of my 5 fingers.
644
00:35:53,636 --> 00:35:55,652
- Really?
- Yeah.
645
00:35:56,177 --> 00:35:57,861
- Really numb?
- Bear chomp.
646
00:36:15,768 --> 00:36:17,260
- Mum.
- Bert.
647
00:36:18,148 --> 00:36:19,702
- Morris.
- Howdy.
648
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,032
I'm just gonna get this all out, OK?
649
00:36:22,158 --> 00:36:23,602
Cards on the table.
650
00:36:24,716 --> 00:36:29,061
I may... have reacted poorly... before.
651
00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:33,392
I thought that you were being impulsive
by getting married,
652
00:36:33,715 --> 00:36:35,863
and I wanted you to see
that you were making a mistake.
653
00:36:36,218 --> 00:36:38,571
OK, but now I can see that maybe
654
00:36:39,228 --> 00:36:42,993
that is something you need to be happy.
655
00:36:43,487 --> 00:36:46,453
So I am willing to accept Morris
656
00:36:46,748 --> 00:36:48,130
into this family...
657
00:36:49,636 --> 00:36:50,883
and forgive you
658
00:36:52,017 --> 00:36:54,480
for marrying him without my blessing.
659
00:36:55,098 --> 00:36:57,133
- OK?
- Thank you, bert.
660
00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:00,631
Great. All right,
let me go unpack my schnibs.
661
00:37:00,795 --> 00:37:02,343
Oh, Bert, you can't unpack.
662
00:37:02,508 --> 00:37:04,723
No, I have to.
I have a ton of laundry for you to do.
663
00:37:04,968 --> 00:37:05,963
No, Bert...
664
00:37:06,087 --> 00:37:09,062
Only Morris and I are going
to live here now.
665
00:37:09,525 --> 00:37:10,853
- What?
- Bert,
666
00:37:11,566 --> 00:37:13,411
- you're a man now.
- Yes.
667
00:37:13,535 --> 00:37:14,561
You're 25.
668
00:37:14,778 --> 00:37:16,310
You need to leave the nest.
669
00:37:16,485 --> 00:37:18,400
No, mom,
that is not you talking right now.
670
00:37:18,528 --> 00:37:21,113
That is him, all right?
You are not my dad, guy!
671
00:37:21,276 --> 00:37:23,182
This isn't Morris talking.
672
00:37:23,836 --> 00:37:26,281
Now, this time apart has made me realize
673
00:37:26,405 --> 00:37:30,163
that we'd both be happier
if there was some distance between us.
674
00:37:30,325 --> 00:37:33,673
It's hard, but I know
it's what's best for us.
675
00:37:33,847 --> 00:37:35,752
It's what's best for you.
676
00:37:36,656 --> 00:37:37,881
You listen to me.
677
00:37:38,317 --> 00:37:40,432
I am going to go into my room
678
00:37:40,555 --> 00:37:43,000
and give you a few minutes to cool off.
679
00:37:43,675 --> 00:37:44,880
When I return,
680
00:37:45,005 --> 00:37:47,651
you'll have come back
to your crazy senses.
681
00:38:01,025 --> 00:38:03,922
You turned my room
into a pottery studio?
682
00:38:08,037 --> 00:38:09,122
- Hi.
- Hi.
683
00:38:10,087 --> 00:38:12,023
- Oh, um, sorry.
- No, no, no problem.
684
00:38:12,145 --> 00:38:14,892
OK. Thank you.
685
00:38:15,017 --> 00:38:17,480
Uh, Sam said you wanted to talk to me.
686
00:38:17,607 --> 00:38:18,901
Yeah, listen,
687
00:38:19,288 --> 00:38:21,842
I just feel like you and
I got off on the wrong foot,
688
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,182
and, I don't know,
I kinda feel like I'm getting this...
689
00:38:24,306 --> 00:38:26,052
vibe, I guess from you, like,
690
00:38:26,216 --> 00:38:28,350
who is this chick hanging out
with my friend Sam?
691
00:38:28,515 --> 00:38:31,450
I don't blame you,
'cause... 'cause you don't know me.
692
00:38:32,415 --> 00:38:33,301
Right...
693
00:38:33,427 --> 00:38:36,352
So let me tell you this story.
When I was in high school,
694
00:38:36,477 --> 00:38:39,320
I had this boyfriend,
and we were madly in love.
695
00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:42,652
And then he suddenly dumped me
for this other girl.
696
00:38:42,775 --> 00:38:44,281
Totally broke my heart.
697
00:38:44,686 --> 00:38:45,682
So I...
698
00:38:45,808 --> 00:38:47,413
Well, I didn't take it very well.
699
00:38:47,535 --> 00:38:50,682
Yeah, I got this giant knife
and I went to this girl's house
700
00:38:50,805 --> 00:38:55,140
and was gonna find her, but she wasn't
there, so I just slashed her tires.
701
00:38:56,118 --> 00:38:57,582
But I've been through therapy,
702
00:38:57,745 --> 00:39:01,253
and I have found a way
to control my emotions, pretty much.
703
00:39:01,956 --> 00:39:05,483
So anyway, hope that lets you know
a little bit more about me.
704
00:39:05,608 --> 00:39:06,853
And one of these days,
705
00:39:06,977 --> 00:39:09,393
I'd really like to hear one
of your stories.
706
00:39:16,666 --> 00:39:17,890
There you go.
707
00:39:19,248 --> 00:39:20,883
Hey, big shot.
708
00:39:22,078 --> 00:39:22,983
Hey.
709
00:39:23,155 --> 00:39:24,200
That's you,
710
00:39:24,588 --> 00:39:25,890
Mr. Big shot.
711
00:39:26,545 --> 00:39:28,512
Feelin'pretty good about yourself, huh?
712
00:39:28,637 --> 00:39:32,082
- You really put one over on me.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
713
00:39:32,248 --> 00:39:33,620
Oh, Ryan's soul.
714
00:39:33,958 --> 00:39:35,413
I had it all lined up.
715
00:39:35,576 --> 00:39:39,302
Primed to take it, then you stole it
right out from under me.
716
00:39:39,658 --> 00:39:41,273
You beat me to the punch.
717
00:39:41,606 --> 00:39:44,710
I underestimated you, Sammy. Big time.
718
00:39:45,765 --> 00:39:47,640
You're quite the sly fox.
719
00:39:49,858 --> 00:39:51,163
Oh, come on.
720
00:39:51,346 --> 00:39:54,000
I know you want to gloat
about it right now.
721
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:56,260
Admit it. I won't be mad.
722
00:40:00,786 --> 00:40:02,630
Yeah, it feels pretty good.
723
00:40:02,897 --> 00:40:04,140
Send an evil soul to hell,
724
00:40:04,268 --> 00:40:06,152
save a good soul from being damned,
I like it.
725
00:40:06,318 --> 00:40:08,083
Yeah, there you go, see?
726
00:40:08,395 --> 00:40:10,560
Plus, you got the best of me.
727
00:40:11,745 --> 00:40:13,871
Now, don't tell me
that doesn't give you a rush.
728
00:40:14,208 --> 00:40:15,580
Yeah, it does.
729
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:18,532
I guess you can't win 'em all.
730
00:40:18,656 --> 00:40:21,300
Oh, yeah. I guess not.
731
00:40:53,298 --> 00:40:54,873
You said you wouldn't be mad!
732
00:40:54,996 --> 00:40:57,001
No, this isn't me mad, Sam.
733
00:40:57,155 --> 00:40:58,803
This is me disappointed.
734
00:41:02,808 --> 00:41:04,851
You should see me when I'm mad.
735
00:41:05,975 --> 00:41:07,601
It's really something.
736
00:41:07,725 --> 00:41:09,390
Thanks to Raceman for the transcript
737
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,990
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