Original subtitles

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I can't wait for your birthday party.

Thirteen. The big 1-3.

Oh yeah. You gonna see some teenage things.

Ooh, like what?

You know, like, uh...

Actually, I don't know.

Our mom gonna plan it. And she's gonna crush it like she does every year.

Yeah, if anybody can plan a 13th birthday party,

it is our party-planning mama.

I'm sorry. Did we just hear that right?

You're letting your mom plan your 13th birthday party?

Everyone knows the first rule of teenage parties is "No Moms."

Especially when you're the first ones in our class to have a teenage party.

How do you know what we're talking about?

Bad news travels fast.

And it's about to travel a whole lot faster once I post it on the Peanut Page.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's everybody calm down.

And Sienna, put your postin' fingers away.

Guys, this is serious. You're the first ones up.

Yeah, and if it goes well, you could be legends.

Booker, we could be legends.

And if it goes bad,

you'll be known as whatever I say you'll be known as.

We could be known as something that we don't even know what it is yet.

Okay, fine. We'll tell our mom she can't plan our party.

And she also can't be there.

Our mom can't be at our party?

Ooh! What party?

Um, our birthday party that our mom will not be planning nor attending.

Really? I just heard she's doing both.

Sorry...

my finger slipped.

Well she's not, so if you'd like to come, you're invited.

Really?

Really.

Wow. Great. Thanks, Nia.

-Really? -Really.

Really?

Really. Look, once you become a teenager,

it's time to put away those childish things.

This is gonna be some party!

Speaking of putting away childish things...

What? We can't invite Levi?

But he's like my little brother.

-He's not a teenager. -Neither are any of you.

-We're on the cusp! -But Levi's on the cusp of the cusp.

We don't make the rules here!

Great...

Now we have to tell Mom and Levi they can't come to our party,

and you know how excited Mom gets.

Booker, we are teenagers now. We can handle this.

We're just gonna walk in there and tell Mom what's what.

¶ ¶

Mom, we got something to tell you.

(crying)

Mom. Mom, are you okay?

Yeah, baby. I'm okay.

I just, um... I've been planning your party all day.

Nothing brings me more joy.

(continues crying) Okay, now, what did you want to tell me?

-What? -What?

¶ Ohhhh ¶

¶ Hey! ¶

¶ Yo, let me tell you something ¶

¶ Had my vision all worked out ¶

¶ But then life had other plans (Tell 'em, Rae) ¶

¶ It's crazy when things turned upside down ¶

¶ But you gotta get up and take that chance ¶

¶ Maybe I'm just finding my way ¶

¶ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ¶

¶ It might be wild but you know that we make it work ¶

¶ We're just kids caught up in a crazy world, c'mon ¶

¶ It's Raven's Home (Yup, we get loud) ¶

¶ It's Raven's Home (It's our crowd) ¶

¶ Might be tough but together we make it look good ¶

¶ Down for each other like family should ¶

¶ It's Raven's Home (We're mixed up) ¶

¶ It's Raven's Home (We got love) ¶

¶ 'Cause no matter the weather you know we gon' shine ¶

¶ There for each other you know it's our time ¶

Yup, that's us!

¶ ¶

¶ ¶

Okay, Mom, here's the thing--

Me first again. Okay, this year,

I thought your birthday theme should be "13."

I made a list of 13 activities,

13 ice cream flavors, 13 karaoke songs about being 13, and...

I also made 13... (laughs)

birthday party hats.

They were actually your 3rd birthday party hats,

and I added a one. I think it works.

Wow... wow, Mom, this all sounds amazing,

but here's the thing...

Hey! Do you remember that birthday I put together for you two

when the firetruck came?

Oh! You should have seen the looks on your faces.

You know, ever since then, I've been tryna top that.

I think I did it this year.

O-okay, Mom,

here's the thing...

You know what? I'm just gon' jot it down.

All right... (muttering to himself) All righty.

(clears throat)

"We're planning our own party."

Yes, because now that we're 13--

"We're planning... our own... party."

Because now that we're more mature,

it's not really cool for our mom to plan it.

Lemme get this straight, Booker. you jotted down...

"We're planning our own party."

Did you mis-jot?

I did not mis-jot.

(high-pitched squeak)

Mom, Mom, are you okay?

Oh, tat wasn't me. No, that was him.

-(high-pitched squeak) -Okay, okay, fine. All right.

-Kids, fine. You're planning your own party. -Mm-hm.

(clears throat) One question for you: Who's paying for it?

Uh, Mom, you've already saved for it.

No, no that's my money. You can't use my money, that's my money.

Okay, fine. You guys...

you can plan your own party.

But, you just have to promise me

that you'll let me be there when you blow out the candles

on the 13-layer birthday cake I got you two.

Okay, Mom... here's-- here's the other thing...

(high-pitched whimper)

No, no, that one was me.

Check out my cool, teenage party look.

What?

(sniffles)

"You're not invited to the party."

"You're not invited to the party."

So, if I'm reading this correctly--

You're not invited to the party, Levi.

(both let out a high-pitched whimper)

¶ ¶

So, you sure you're okay not coming to the party?

(mutters) Sure, yeah, it's fine.

Well, you know, this isn't about you.

It's just about you not being a teenager.

(mutters) Not about me. Your party. Whatever.

So, everything's cool?

Because you still haven't said any real words.

(mutters) Oh, I got real words. Traitor. Stupid party.

Well, you can still wear your teenage party outfit for Thanksgiving.

Levi: I've got nothing to be thankful for.

Hey! There he is!

Legend in the making. Teenage Party Man.

Ooh, TPM. I like it.

What have you got planned for your party, TPM?

Oh, you know, we're having a kick back.

Some music, some food.

So, is this a dresses or jeans party?

Whatever you're comfortable in.

So my basketball shorts are cool?

Sure. Shorts, jeans, dresses. Whatever.

Whatever? I don't know.

This party sounds a little loosey-goosey.

When you're a teenager, there are no rules.

(in unison) Ooh.

That's right. No rules.

-(in unison) Ooh. -So, what about dancing?

There could be dancing.

Good...

What's Nia's favorite color?

Why?

I want to wear a tie she'll like since I'm asking her to dance.

What? You're gonna dance with my sister?

-Yeah. -You know? I'm gonna wear a tie, too.

Why are you gonna wear a tie?

'Cause I'm also asking Nia to dance.

What? Forget it. It's a no-tie party.

No moms. No Levis. No ties.

And her favorite color is: she's my sister!

Sounds like a lot of rules for a no-rules party.

So, I totally know what I'm gonna wear at your party,

and I hope Booker likes it.

-Why? -Well, I'm gonna ask him to dance.

-Booker? -Yeah, he's an amazing dancer.

-Booker-Booker? -And he's super cute.

My brother, Booker? Excuse me.

-Booker! -Nia!

(in unison) We need to talk...

(in unison, quietly) at home.

¶ ¶

(in unison) "Separate parties"?

(in unison) Yes!

I can't believe we were both thinking the same thing.

I mean...

you did spell "separate" wrong--

Everybody spells "separate" wrong.

But, the point is we both want separate parties.

So how are we gonna tell our friends?

Uh, well, we'll just tell them that because we're twins,

we've had our parties together every year.

But, this year, now that we're teenagers, we'll have 'em apart.

Ooh, I like it.

-We'll flip it on 'em. -Yes.

¶ ¶

Hey guys, welcome to my party!

It's about to get started!

Where are the girls?

And why are you dressed for laser tag?

We had a change of birthday plans.

Nia and I decided now that we're teenagers,

we should have separate parties.

So, the girls will have their fun.

And we'll have dude funnnnn!

We wore ties!

So while the guys have their fun, us ladies are gonna

sit down, and enjoy a little bit of spa time.

This isn't even guacamole!

It's just avocado.

You're not supposed to eat it.

You're actually supposed to moisturize with it.

Yeah, I already moisturized all this to get ready for this.

Great. So, now we don't have guacamole or boys?

This really doesn't feel like a teenage party.

Yeah, who's the teenager here?

Who's the teenager here?

Who gave birth to the teenagers here?

Levi and Sebastian: You did.

And whose heart is breaking right now

because they're going to miss their parties?

Mine.

This is my rant, Levi.

Which is why this mama

isn't going to miss either of the parties.

But they said no mama at their party.

No, they didn't. No, no, no, see, they said "no moms."

Right? 'Cause "moms," eh, they're uptight. But "mamas"! Wooo!

"Mamas" are a good time! Yes, they are! Yessss!

¶ ¶

(Zen spa music playing)

(whispering) Oh, yeah...

Oh, yeah...

Mom, what are you doing?

We-we agreed, no moms!

No, no, no, I'm not a mom.

I'm a mama. A spa mama. I'm a spa mama!

-What's the difference? -(sighs)

You promised.

Okay, fine.

Thank you.

But I'm taking my cucumbers.

-Wait! -Takin' 'em.

What? I paid for 'em.

Give 'em back, c'mon. Thank you.

¶ ¶

You know what, Guntz? I think your tie

looks pretty good with your laser tag vest.

Really? Maybe I should go show Nia.

Not that good.

Don't mind me.

I'm just bringing up a gift for the birthday boy!

(chuckles) I'll set it right over here.

But don't open it until after the party.

A-and don't move it, or-or touch it, or...

put anything in front of it.

And if you see a red light coming out of it, just ignore it.

(laughs nervously) Happy birthday.

See, Levi? Now we can see everything that's going on at the party.

I went from Spa Mama to Spy Mama.

Yeah, i's almost like we were invited.

That was terrifying.

I don't know how James Bond does it. And in a tux, no less.

Hey, why is Booker looking right into the camera?

Sebastian: Why is Nia with Booker?

Why do we see the back of our heads?

Hey... I see you got your present.

Did you bring it here so you could open it in front of mama?

¶ ¶

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Mom, you agreed "no moms" at our parties.

So please, no more sneaking in or spying.

Fine. But, in some cultures, they would call that "caring."

Since it bothers you so, I'll care a little less.

(in unison) Thank you.

You really just promised to leave them alone?

Bam! Ha-ha! Fingers Crossed Mama. She's a good time!

So, you just lied to your children? On their birthday?

Fingers Crossed Mama is a good time, but she got problems.

She got problems.

¶ ¶

Okay, guys. TPM is back!

Hey, uh, where you guys goin'?

(laughs nervously) Well, we definitely

weren't trying to sneak down to the girls' party.

Good cover.

Hey, girls! I just made a fresh batch of spa water...

girls?

Where you going?

Uh, we were just drying our toenails by walking to the door.

Nice try, come back.

Is this a birthday party, or a hostage situation?

You're sure you want us to lock you in here?

Absolutely sure.

My kids said "no moms," so you know what?

There will be no moms at the party.

Now, I don't care what I say, or how much I beg,

do not let me out of this room.

Wait, how do we know you're telling the truth?

Check her fingers, Levi.

(muttering, grunting)

-Ahh! -(Sebastian gasps) Uncross them!

-(cries) No! I wanna be at the party! -I'm trying!

-Aunt Rae! -Okay!

Okay, fine. Lock me in.

So, no more funny business.

No more funny business.

We'll be right outside this door.

(sighs)

(high-pitched squeak)

-Was that me? -(high-pitched squeak)

(gasps)

-(high-pitched squeak) -Hey, uh...

hey, squeegee man! Hey! Can I get a ride down?

Okay.

Okay, plucking partners, are we ready?

All right, one, two, three, pluck.

-(collective groans) -Ow!

Okay, again... one, two, three, pluck.

-(collective groans) -Ow!

Nia, psst, we need to talk.

Ooh, now it's a party.

Keep plucking.

-My party stinks. -Mine is really fun.

Girls (behind the door): Ow!

-Uh, we're playing the Ow Game. -Girls: Ow! Ow! Ow!

We're right in the middle of the lightning round. What's up?

Tess: Nia, where are the bandages?

Okay, fine. My party is a flop, too. We have to do something.

Well, I'm out of ideas. I was kinda hoping you'd have one.

(whooshing)

A firetruck?

Are you serious?

(whooshing)

Uh-oh.

Mom's gonna bring a firetruck to the party.

What? She promised she wouldn't interfere.

Well, she also promised us a unicorn when we were six.

When was the last time you went flying on a rainbow?

Look, she knows our parties stink,

so she's gonna try to save the day by bringing in that firetruck.

Well, we just have to find out a way to save the day

before she has to.

Booker, I think we've gotta give our friends what they want.

You mean merge our parties?

Nia, the only reason I wanted separate parties is because

Curtis and The Guntz wanted to dance with you.

Really? The only reason I wanted separate parties

is because Zeena wanted to dance with you.

Zeena? With me? (laughs, flattered) I can see that.

Ugh.

Uh, anyway, we will just merge our parties on the roof,

and then we'll lock the doors, so mom can't get in.

-Seriously, Nia! People are bleeding in here! -All right, I'm coming.

My babies gonna lock me out?

(high-pitched squeak)

Squeegee man.

¶ ¶

Thanks, Squeegee man!

Okay, everyone! Let our teenage dance party begin!

(party music playing)

Okay, everyone. We all know why we're here.

Hey! No one's dancing!

Why are they all sweating?

I don't know, but at least no one's bleeding.

¶ ¶

¶ ¶

W-what's going on? Why's everyone so nervous?

Good thing we wore these ties.

Maybe we just need to break the ice. You know,

-loosen them up a bit. -Good idea.

(clears throat)

Come on, girls. Let's get it!

Come on, fellas. Let's show 'em what we're working with.

Ha-ha-ha! Just like I taught 'em!

(party music)

Ugh!

-This just got weird. -Little bit.

Come on. Why are you guys just standing around?

You wanted a teenage party.

Well, here you go.

You're right.

-Here we go... -Woo!

Niiiiiiii-- d'a ride home, anybody?

(boys yell out)

I think we're just gonna grab our stuff from your place and go.

-Wait, no! -Hold up, guys! Hey!

What? No one is leaving without tasting my 13-layer birthday cake!

Levi, I feel like you're holding onto a lot of anger today.

You need to let it out. So, come on. Jab!

Dumb. Teen. Party.

(ringtone playing) Raven's calling! Raven's calling!

Ahh! (in pain) Hey, Raven.

Sebastian, get the cake out, put the candles on, light 'em,

'cause I'm comin' down to sing "Happy Birthday" to my babies.

Down from where?! You're supposed to be in...

here.

Just don't let them leave before cake.

Okay. Aaaaah!

No, no, no, no, no. Not my phone, not my phone!

(exclaiming)

Help!

-Hold on, everybody! -Hey, stop!

You can't leave without cake.

She made a 13-layer cake.

See? It's got 13 layers

One layer for every year of your lives.

They're not even staying for cake.

Could this party get any worse?

(Raven screams)

Whoa... was that your--

-Ahh! -Oh, my gosh, it was!

(party goers scream)

-(Raven screams) -(mechanical whirring)

(screaming continues)

-Whoa, wait, hey! -I-I think your mom needs--

Help! Help!

-Somebody should call the fire department! -Booker and Nia: No!

We mean... no, we'll call.

Help!

Oh, snap! (screams)

¶ ¶

(gasps)

Oh, we're doin' that?

Oh, I wasn't gonna pass this up, sweetie.

Thank you for saving me.

All in a day's work.

Hey, kids,

we'll be down at the truck if anybody wants to come down for a birthday ride.

A firetruck? Are you serious?

That was my vision.

Well, go ahead, Sienna.

I'm sure you want to post about how this was the worst first teenage party ever.

But, just for the record,

this is not the party we wanted.

Yeah.

We wanted our mom to plan it, and for her to be there.

We're sorry, mom.

And we're sorry, too, Levi.

You-you should've been invited.

Thank you. I take back all the things I mumbled about you.

And I accept your apology, as well.

And I think I owe you guys one.

(sighs) Listen, I know I always call you my baby.

And, since you're 13, I know I probably have to let you grow up sometime, right?

Thank you, Mom.

You know what I think?

I think we're all trying to grow up just a little too fast.

And a firetruck ride just might be the fun we need.

Wow.

That's really mature of you.

That's really, really mature of you.

So, who's with me?

He's right! We're not teenagers yet.

Yeah. I mean, we're still on the cusp.

I'm on the cusp of the cusp.

-I get to ring the bell! -I get to work the siren!

Finally, something postable!

-(squealing) Are you getting it? Are you getting it? -Oh, yeah.

Oh, 'cause these are the moments a mother doesn't want to miss.

Come on, Mom, you're missing it.

(high-pitched scream)

¶ ¶

-(Raven chuckles) -(indistinct chatter)

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