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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,512
We've been in the business
of horse distraction
2
00:00:01,536 --> 00:00:04,013
for 150 years, ever since
the invention of blinders.
3
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,307
That's right. Without
blinders, these horses
4
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,251
would be running around
like a bunch of maniacs.
5
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,715
So we applied this
very technology
6
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:10,743
to human beings.
7
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,346
Introducing the
first-ever
8
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,480
distraction-canceling
glasses.
9
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,316
Finally, a world
where you can focus
10
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,917
on the original thing
you were doing.
11
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,354
Can you see how much flights
are to visit my parents?
12
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,690
Yeah, sure, I'll,
uh, look online.
13
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,357
- Oh, what's this?
both: Freeze.
14
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,935
This poor guy doesn't
have a chance.
15
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,670
He's gonna end up
clicking on what the cast
16
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,462
of "Family Matters"
looks like right now.
17
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,597
Skateboarders racking
their balls on handrails.
18
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:32,908
Tigers who are
friends with bears.
19
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,368
Cats playing the piano.
20
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,945
Colorblind videos
where people put on
21
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,213
these special glasses
and they see colors
22
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,604
for the first time,
23
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,050
and they're so
overwhelmed by emotion
24
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:41,308
that they take
off the glasses
25
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,909
and then go like
this, like...
26
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,513
And everyone's crying.
27
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,414
[percussive music]
28
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:49,982
[glasses beeping,
whirring]
29
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,218
- Unfreeze.
- Whoa.
30
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,953
Oh, flights are pretty
cheap, actually.
31
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,788
It's about $317.
32
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:58,258
Distraction blinders
remove the distraction.
33
00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,805
And it's not just
for the Internet.
34
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,661
Wedding invites that
get you thinking
35
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,896
about your own
pathetic life.
36
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,499
Freeze.
37
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,699
[glasses whir and beep]
38
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,134
Unfreeze.
39
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,038
Honey, we got invited
to a cool buffet party.
40
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,538
[upbeat music]
41
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,941
Huh?
[mumbles]
42
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,678
[mournful harmonica tune]
43
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,079
[spits]
44
00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:21,749
? ?
45
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,415
And these glasses
won't just shield you
46
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,017
from personal problems.
47
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,720
They can help shape
your worldview as well.
48
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,289
[upbeat music]
49
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:30,556
- Good afternoon.
- Hey.
50
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,259
- [siren wails]
- Cute dog.
51
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,660
And the world is a
brighter place too.
52
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:37,865
[Washed Out's
"Feel It All Around" playing]
53
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,867
[dreamy chillwave music]
54
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:45,437
== Sync & corrections by Alice ==
== www.addic7ed.com ==
55
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,967
Well, and that's
how we met,
56
00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:14,567
right there on
the ol' TriMet
57
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,768
in the handicapped seat.
58
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,971
That is so romantic.
59
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,372
So how did you
guys meet?
60
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,808
[exhales] It's
a long story.
61
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,185
Uh, I'll have to
throw another round
62
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,610
of hot dogs on the fire.
63
00:02:23,678 --> 00:02:24,721
Come on, Lance,
quit being a pussy.
64
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:25,913
Just tell the story.
65
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,214
Nina's the better
storyteller
66
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,616
in the family.
67
00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:31,050
Okay, I'll do it.
It's like a fairy tale.
68
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:34,020
Picture it:
Portland, 1997.
69
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:36,723
Just two cool guys
out on the prowl.
70
00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,559
[ball clatters in pocket]
71
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,861
They didn't know where the
night was gonna take them,
72
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,895
and I didn't either.
73
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,965
- Nice.
- Two beers, please.
74
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,366
- How's it going?
- [scoffs]
75
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,470
Maintaining.
76
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,604
It's been a long
time since I, uh,
77
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,340
dug someone enough
to pull out on.
78
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,076
I get you.
79
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,945
[applause]
80
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,580
- What's that?
- It's a burlesque show.
81
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,515
We should check it out.
You like boobs, right?
82
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,984
I frickin' love boobs.
83
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,485
- Boobs.
- Boobs.
84
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,989
[rousing jazzy music]
85
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,959
[over speakers]
Salty Jazz Hands.
86
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,363
Salty Jazz Hands.
There she goes, rolling out.
87
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,797
Uh-oh, here they come.
88
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,332
Ladies and gentlemen,
89
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,137
this act is, uh,
magically delicious.
90
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,139
[sultry music]
91
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,608
? ?
92
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,678
Who is that
gorgeous girl?
93
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,013
Oh, yeah, the
strawberry blonde.
94
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,079
No, no, no.
95
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,583
There's only one
girl up there,
96
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:38,651
the redhead.
97
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,820
[clicks tongue]
98
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,023
[dreamy orchestral music]
99
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,159
? ?
100
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:48,162
[harp glissando]
101
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,333
? ?
102
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,735
Uh, all right, there
we go. There we go.
103
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:55,969
[scattered applause]
104
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,972
Oh, baby.
And there they go.
105
00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,973
Thank you, sweet,
sweet ladies.
106
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,376
Watch this.
107
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,911
? ?
108
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,180
Ad-aca-bro-decks,
a-wham-wham-wham.
109
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,017
- [gasps]
- Oh, what?
110
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,819
[applause]
111
00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:15,154
[muffled music thumping]
112
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,291
Hey.
I like your moves.
113
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,159
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
114
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,186
Well, I've got more moves
than a furniture mover
115
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,797
on moving day after someone
sells their big house
116
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,666
and moves into a
bigger house.
117
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,500
Big's my middle name.
118
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,402
And my first
name's Lance,
119
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,171
so, uh, you can
call me Lance.
120
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,406
What should I call you?
121
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,974
My friends call
me Ballerina.
122
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:38,378
Well, since I plan on being
more than your friend,
123
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,413
I think I'll call you...
124
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:41,382
Nina.
125
00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,418
Nina, my ballerina.
126
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,586
Oh, there you
go, Ballerina.
127
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,322
Uh, that's Derek,
my boyfriend.
128
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,058
Hang on just a second.
What's this?
129
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,192
Mm, buy yourself a...
130
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:54,394
a shave.
[coin flicks]
131
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,562
It's on me, baby.
132
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,964
Come on, darling.
Let's go.
133
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,408
It was a really
good show, I thought.
134
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,602
[moody orchestral music]
135
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:02,668
I told you, man.
136
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,070
You got to be careful.
137
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,106
Messing with a magician's
girl is dangerous.
138
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,475
I'm gonna pull
out on that woman
139
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:11,010
if it's the last
thing I do.
140
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,613
Can we pull out
on this story?
141
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,381
No. There's a lot more.
142
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,449
We're just at the tip.
143
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:20,387
[upbeat rock music]
144
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,822
- Amanda?
- Yes.
145
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,389
- Hi there. How are you?
- Amanda.
146
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:24,625
Amanda, nice
to meet you.
147
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,893
- I'm Gigi.
- I'm Phil.
148
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,493
- We spoke on the phone.
- Yes.
149
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,228
We are from
Standard Ceremonies,
150
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,230
Weddings Division.
151
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,731
[bell tolls]
152
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,158
- Cool.
- Why don't you talk to us?
153
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,300
Tell us what's happening.
154
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,002
So my fianc�e
and I are...
155
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,271
are getting married here,
Memorial Day weekend.
156
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,707
I just need a little bit of
help planning the ceremony.
157
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,942
- Well...
- Uh-huh.
158
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,577
This seems like a
very standard place,
159
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,887
kind of forgettable, like
a million other weddings.
160
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,179
- That's what we do.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:47,314
- Okay.
- Now, um,
162
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,714
who's walking you
up the aisle?
163
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:49,925
- Uh, my dad.
- Okay, and, uh,
164
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,452
does he have a bum leg?
165
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,588
Does he sort of walk in a
lopsided, very slow way?
166
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,190
Oh, no. My dad is
very, very healthy.
167
00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:58,192
Oh, really? Well, I
think at a wedding,
168
00:05:58,259 --> 00:06:00,661
you need someone that's
either ill or injured.
169
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,963
It's... it's got to seem
like an incredible feat
170
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,565
that that person
is walking at all.
171
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,566
- [dramatic organ chord]
- [gasps]
172
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,000
It walks.
173
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,436
Do I just tell
my dad to pretend?
174
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,380
We don't want any pretending.
We could kind of do, like,
175
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,539
a Tonya Harding situation.
176
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,575
Oh, I... I'm not sure
I feel comfortable
177
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:16,976
with you injuring
my father.
178
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,214
Let's just say
that the muscle
179
00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:21,781
in the Achilles tendon
180
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,116
is sometimes disconnected
181
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:25,451
during sleep.
182
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,920
I don't know, you guys.
183
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:28,688
Most of the time
it's reversible.
184
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,089
What are you
thinking for vows?
185
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:33,527
Oh, um, actually,
I wrote them.
186
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,827
[exhales]
Laura,
187
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,329
ever since that
first date...
188
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:37,463
I'm already so bored.
189
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:38,932
Which is good.
190
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,008
- She's giving you a compliment.
- Yeah.
191
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:41,167
- Oh.
- Yes.
192
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,035
Now, this is
very important.
193
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,705
Oh, I have a
band already.
194
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,082
Can they see it
from the drones
195
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,450
that we're gonna have
flying overhead?
196
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:48,608
- Zip!
- Probably not.
197
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,042
You want it to
be big enough
198
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,488
so your relatives
can see it and go,
199
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,814
"Oh, my God.
200
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,315
Oh, that's beautiful."
201
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,484
So, rice.
202
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,851
Now, this is
controversial,
203
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,621
because we know that
this kills pigeons.
204
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,522
- Oh.
- But pigeons are flying...
205
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,590
- Meant to die.
- Yeah.
206
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:05,658
They have life spans.
207
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:06,793
Also, hey, pigeons,
208
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:07,927
why are you eating rice?
209
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,596
- Mm-hmm.
- Not your food.
210
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,306
Yeah, so do you have someone
that you would like
211
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,332
as a flower child
in your wedding?
212
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:14,743
- Yes, I have a niece.
- Well, we brought you
213
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,068
- these people.
- Oh.
214
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:18,003
You want someone
who's not able
215
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,172
to take command at all, so
that your guests are like,
216
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:21,841
"Why did they even
get him to do this?"
217
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:22,986
- Okay.
- Like... like, Silas,
218
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,611
go walk over that way.
219
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,812
Go walk that way.
220
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,748
Go over there.
221
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,117
You see how he doesn't
really take command?
222
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:33,820
Yeah. Is there any way to get
a family member in here?
223
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,265
I mean, I don't
know if your niece
224
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,757
can pull off stuff
like these guys.
225
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,457
Uh, probably not.
226
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,135
You know, she talks
throughout the whole wedding,
227
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,962
asking questions the
whole time, like,
228
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:45,266
[high-pitched mumbling]
229
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,401
[mumbling continues]
230
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,871
You don't think that'll steal
attention from the ceremony?
231
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,481
Oh, it's absolutely
gonna steal attention.
232
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,474
- Guess this is my wedding party.
both: Yeah.
233
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,611
Well, that was great. I
really liked this place.
234
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,212
Yeah, it's...
it's nice and sweet.
235
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,724
Too sweet, which is
just how I like it.
236
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:01,815
[chuckles]
237
00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:04,551
Peter, look
what time it is.
238
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,920
12 hours from now,
239
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:07,987
it's breakfast.
240
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,322
- Breakfast.
- Breakfast.
241
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,390
Breakfast!
242
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:11,559
Steel-cut Irish oatmeal
243
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:12,859
with a little
maple syrup.
244
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,296
We can have coffee
and almond milk.
245
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,440
We can have rye toast or
wheat toast or sourdough.
246
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,998
- A little breadbasket.
- Breadbasket!
247
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,576
We can put the salt
and pepper here,
248
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,468
some sugar over here,
maple syrup, honey.
249
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:23,612
I can't wait
for breakfast.
250
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:24,571
Oh, me neither.
251
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:25,972
[inhales deeply]
252
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,807
- Look at that, just...
- Ow. Oof.
253
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,942
Stealing the...
oh, they stole the ATM.
254
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,045
Hey, I was thinking,
255
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,314
what if we just prepped the
kitchen for breakfast now?
256
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,117
I was thinking the
exact same thing.
257
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,785
- Let's do that.
- Yeah, okay.
258
00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:39,886
[playful music]
259
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,921
- Okay.
- Okay, I'm gonna, um,
260
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,457
grind some coffee.
261
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:44,826
Here you go.
262
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:45,903
Oatmeal. How are we
doing on oatmeal?
263
00:08:45,927 --> 00:08:47,295
Let's check.
264
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,262
Okay, we have a
couple weeks' worth.
265
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,733
[grinder whirring]
266
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,067
? ?
267
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,513
I feel like a kid
in a candy store.
268
00:08:55,537 --> 00:08:56,571
I know.
Me too.
269
00:08:56,638 --> 00:08:57,672
This is like Christmas.
270
00:08:57,739 --> 00:08:59,307
Uh, toast, please.
271
00:08:59,374 --> 00:09:00,508
Yeah.
272
00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:02,143
[stammering]
273
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,211
[exhales]
274
00:09:03,278 --> 00:09:04,979
Let me just
practice coming in.
275
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,347
- I already...
- Good morning!
276
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,016
Good mor...
good morning.
277
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:10,417
Now, how many
steps is it?
278
00:09:10,485 --> 00:09:12,053
One, two, three.
279
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:12,986
Nance?
280
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,154
The sooner we go to bed,
281
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,456
the quicker
breakfast comes.
282
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:17,792
Good night, breakfast.
283
00:09:17,859 --> 00:09:20,328
Sleep well.
See you in the ma�ana.
284
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,331
[exhales]
285
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,909
Remember when that new
cupcake place opened up,
286
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,444
and then we asked if they
had any breakfast cupcakes?
287
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,268
And they were like,
"Yeah, that's a muffin."
288
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,271
- Yeah. Oh, it was so good.
- Yeah. Oh, so good.
289
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,207
You know what I would
love to do is...
290
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,076
is put a slideshow
together for our friends
291
00:09:35,143 --> 00:09:36,711
of all our favorite
breakfasts.
292
00:09:36,778 --> 00:09:38,880
The hard part is editing
the other ones out,
293
00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:40,857
you know, because you can't
do all your breakfasts.
294
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,349
Yeah.
295
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:43,985
[both snoring]
296
00:09:44,052 --> 00:09:46,421
[murmurs] Breakfast.
297
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,088
Hash browns...
298
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,256
[snorts]
299
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:52,360
[crickets chirping]
300
00:09:53,995 --> 00:09:56,764
[clock ticking]
301
00:09:56,831 --> 00:09:58,865
? ?
302
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:01,936
[floorboards creaking]
303
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:05,073
? ?
304
00:10:06,841 --> 00:10:09,043
[giggles]
305
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,913
[stirring
orchestral music]
306
00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:13,815
I bet this is
what heaven's like.
307
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:16,851
I bet in heaven, breakfast
is three times a day.
308
00:10:16,918 --> 00:10:18,052
[snaps fingers]
309
00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:19,887
Oh, so good.
310
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,957
? ?
311
00:10:34,535 --> 00:10:35,769
[both munching]
312
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,304
Mmm, mmm.
313
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:38,905
- So good.
- Mmm.
314
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,942
- Mmm.
- We're eating so fast.
315
00:10:41,009 --> 00:10:42,810
- Yeah, we really are.
- I mean,
316
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,154
the next time we eat
breakfast is in...
317
00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:46,047
- in 24 hours, right?
- Yeah.
318
00:10:46,114 --> 00:10:47,648
Would it be
better if we just
319
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,517
ate really slow
and took our time
320
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,452
so that this
can just last?
321
00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:52,630
I think that's
a great idea.
322
00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:53,654
All right.
323
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,389
- Ready?
- Yeah.
324
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,533
[upbeat rock music]
325
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,600
? ?
326
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:08,235
So what happened next?
327
00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:10,605
Yeah, that magician sounded
like a real douche.
328
00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:11,739
Yeah, I loved Derek.
329
00:11:11,806 --> 00:11:12,807
They were in love,
330
00:11:12,874 --> 00:11:14,375
but I was in love too.
331
00:11:14,442 --> 00:11:15,442
That's right.
332
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,611
Here's a knot, but...
333
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,846
no, it's not.
334
00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:20,914
What happened there?
[applause]
335
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,382
I went to every show.
336
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,619
It made me feel
really special.
337
00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:25,953
He was kind of a stalker,
338
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,487
the kind of
stalker I like.
339
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,765
What color would
you say that is?
340
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:29,890
Yellow.
341
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,192
Oh, look who
it is again,
342
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,461
Mr., uh, Every Show.
343
00:11:34,529 --> 00:11:36,130
And what color is it now?
344
00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:37,331
Red.
345
00:11:37,398 --> 00:11:38,865
I was the president,
346
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:40,867
vice president,
and treasurer
347
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,803
of a one-man fan club.
348
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,971
- That's so sweet.
- No, no, no.
349
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,439
Those are for the lady.
350
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,675
Um, that's very
kind of you.
351
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,343
Uh, please...
352
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,114
That's when things got
a little complicated.
353
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,017
You... you got
to be kidding.
354
00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:58,820
You know, you come to
every single show.
355
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,220
You come on to
my girlfriend,
356
00:12:00,288 --> 00:12:02,222
and I'm telling ya,
I don't dig it.
357
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,192
I can't help that
I like, uh, magic.
358
00:12:04,259 --> 00:12:05,860
Well, if you like
magic so much,
359
00:12:05,927 --> 00:12:08,461
why don't you make
yourself disappear?
360
00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:09,563
All right.
361
00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,264
Can you dig it?
362
00:12:11,332 --> 00:12:12,533
Wow.
363
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,634
[motor revs]
[upbeat rock music]
364
00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:16,070
How'd you do that?
365
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,339
A biker never
reveals his secrets.
366
00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:21,442
Wow.
How romantic.
367
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,744
It was just a beanstalk
that I wanted to climb.
368
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,780
Yeah, and I
was the giant.
369
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,182
- No, I'm the giant.
- Oh.
370
00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:30,218
Nina, uh, are
you decent?
371
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:31,918
'Cause I got
somebody out here
372
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,420
who'd very much
like to meet you.
373
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:34,788
Okay.
374
00:12:34,856 --> 00:12:36,890
- Is that a Komodo dragon?
- Komodo dragon?
375
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,034
No, it's a...
an American alligator.
376
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,593
This is going
into the act.
377
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:41,595
You don't think it seems
a little dangerous?
378
00:12:41,663 --> 00:12:42,897
Mm... no.
379
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,731
What's the worst
that can happen?
380
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,034
[alligator snarls]
[dramatic sting]
381
00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:47,902
Tell me.
382
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,302
See?
You're empty.
383
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,571
You got nothing.
384
00:12:50,638 --> 00:12:52,473
[suspenseful music]
385
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,375
And now, if we dare,
386
00:12:54,442 --> 00:12:56,244
we remove the muzzle.
387
00:12:56,311 --> 00:13:00,314
[alligator growling]
388
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,915
No! No!
389
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,316
Oh! Oh, my God!
[crowd clamoring]
390
00:13:03,384 --> 00:13:04,418
No, let go of him!
391
00:13:04,485 --> 00:13:05,753
[slow-motion] Nina!
392
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:06,753
[alligator snarling]
393
00:13:06,821 --> 00:13:08,822
[blood squelches]
394
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,490
[people screaming]
395
00:13:10,558 --> 00:13:13,593
Seymour bit off
Derek's face that night.
396
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,128
That was really
disgusting.
397
00:13:15,196 --> 00:13:17,465
Hey. I thought you
should eat something.
398
00:13:17,532 --> 00:13:19,100
I brought two sandwiches.
I didn't know
399
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,768
whether you were
vegetarian or not.
400
00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:22,370
I'll take a meat one.
401
00:13:22,437 --> 00:13:23,870
I love meat.
402
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,807
I like connecting to my
animal nature, you know?
403
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:27,942
Definitely.
404
00:13:28,009 --> 00:13:29,644
I'm sorry about Derek.
405
00:13:29,711 --> 00:13:31,279
- It's so scary.
- Yeah.
406
00:13:31,646 --> 00:13:33,314
I'm glad I could be here
for you, though.
407
00:13:33,381 --> 00:13:35,315
I'm glad you're
here too.
408
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,450
And that's when we
started to fall in love.
409
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,252
- Who's first?
- You are. Go ahead.
410
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,254
? Believe me now
when I say ?
411
00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:42,456
That's really
nice of you.
412
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,790
? These words to you ?
413
00:13:43,858 --> 00:13:45,792
Thumb... war.
I got you.
414
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:49,062
? You have touched
the very heart of me ?
415
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:50,297
We're on a ship.
416
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,267
? Girl, it's true ?
417
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,468
He's stable.
418
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,905
You can come back
and see him now.
419
00:13:57,972 --> 00:14:00,674
Derek!
Oh, it's a miracle.
420
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:02,652
Well, the good news is,
he's gonna live forever.
421
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,344
The bad news is, he
doesn't have a face,
422
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,680
and he's not gonna wake up
till he gets a new one.
423
00:14:06,747 --> 00:14:07,915
- Oh.
- He's in a coma
424
00:14:07,982 --> 00:14:09,783
until he gets a
face transplant.
425
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,218
Derek, don't worry,
426
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,020
I'll never leave
your side.
427
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,097
You're gonna have
to leave, actually.
428
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,389
Visiting hours are over.
429
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,223
What about us, Nina?
I mean,
430
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,026
I kind of thought we had
something, you know, special.
431
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,161
Lance, I'm sorry.
432
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,597
Derek has dibs.
433
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,899
All right.
434
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,000
Cool.
435
00:14:27,068 --> 00:14:28,936
Peace out.
436
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,338
Derek, I'm right here.
It's Nina.
437
00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:32,939
And the doctor's here,
438
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,440
and he said you
don't have a face.
439
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,118
Sorry, but you actually
do have to leave.
440
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,310
It's that hour now.
441
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,978
Can't I stay and
talk to him?
442
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,848
No, you can come
back and visit him
443
00:14:40,915 --> 00:14:43,150
and not see his face
again tomorrow.
444
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,151
Bye, Derek.
445
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,453
[monitor beeps]
446
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,222
Uh, the next item
for discussion
447
00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:50,791
is the library lawn.
448
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:52,893
As we all know,
it's not great
449
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,995
for the environment
to have grass.
450
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,798
And as this is a
public space,
451
00:14:57,865 --> 00:14:59,734
we ought to be
leading by example.
452
00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,402
Now, we're on a
very limited budget,
453
00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:04,338
but we have assembled a
list of affordable options
454
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:06,107
for alternative
materials.
455
00:15:06,174 --> 00:15:09,010
Just wondering, w... when
was this list compiled?
456
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,211
Last week, at our
previous meeting.
457
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,346
Oh, well, we didn't
get an invitation,
458
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,715
so we weren't there.
459
00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:16,584
Uh, it was an
efficiency thing.
460
00:15:16,651 --> 00:15:18,027
Well, I don't know
how it's efficient
461
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,653
to leave us out of
it, because now
462
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,031
you have to tell us
about the meeting.
463
00:15:21,055 --> 00:15:22,724
And we're doing
that now.
464
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,725
Okay, well, before
I look at this list,
465
00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,594
and I haven't looked
down at it yet,
466
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:28,296
my suggestion is:
467
00:15:28,363 --> 00:15:29,464
Woodchips.
468
00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:30,698
They don't require water.
469
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,165
You just chop
down a tree,
470
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,569
chip away at it...
hence the name.
471
00:15:34,636 --> 00:15:35,969
Okay, if you
look at the list,
472
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,739
that is our first
item on it.
473
00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:39,950
Yeah, but I didn't
see this list.
474
00:15:39,974 --> 00:15:41,809
This came from
my own mind.
475
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,411
So for the purposes
of this meeting,
476
00:15:43,478 --> 00:15:45,747
could we let everyone
know that it was my idea?
477
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:46,914
But it wasn't.
478
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,749
We could put a plaque in
479
00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:50,517
to commemorate the
fact that he came up
480
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:51,584
with the woodchip idea.
481
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,987
Not gonna happen.
482
00:15:53,054 --> 00:15:55,022
How about glass marbles?
483
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:57,691
They would not only be
environmentally friendly,
484
00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:59,693
but they would long
outlast the woodchips.
485
00:15:59,761 --> 00:16:00,928
I loved marbles
as a kid.
486
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,496
When you think
of kids playing,
487
00:16:02,564 --> 00:16:04,232
that's what they're
playing, marbles.
488
00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:06,009
I think it's the reason they
play hooky from school.
489
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,301
I think video games,
when I think kids today.
490
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,303
You said that we have
a limited budget.
491
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,672
We're gonna put video
games on the lawn?
492
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,041
- No, I'm just talk...
- How do we charge them?
493
00:16:15,109 --> 00:16:16,844
Instead of a lawn,
it could just be
494
00:16:16,911 --> 00:16:18,679
an extra lane for
the freeway.
495
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,280
You want another
lane of highway
496
00:16:20,348 --> 00:16:21,492
right up next to
the building?
497
00:16:21,516 --> 00:16:22,556
Yes, so we
reduce traffic
498
00:16:22,617 --> 00:16:23,985
and we get rid
of this lawn.
499
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,052
But we're ten blocks
from the highway.
500
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,854
- Soon we'll be zero blocks.
- Imagine that.
501
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:29,523
People showing up
at this "li-berry,"
502
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,426
and they're... they... and is
it "li-berry" or "li-brary"?
503
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:33,895
- Library.
- Brary.
504
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,595
But "li-berry"
sounds so right.
505
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,197
That's what's so
misleading about it.
506
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,199
No, it makes you sound
like you're 20%, uh,
507
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:40,700
less intelligent.
508
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,079
There's no reason
to raise your voice.
509
00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:43,436
I-I didn't
raise my voice.
510
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,438
You screamed
into my ear.
511
00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,308
I-I haven't
moved, have I?
512
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,609
I haven't seen you move.
513
00:16:48,676 --> 00:16:50,511
I'm just trying
to be helpful.
514
00:16:50,578 --> 00:16:52,980
[softly] I don't give a shit
about the library lawn.
515
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,581
You think I give a shit?
516
00:16:54,648 --> 00:16:56,416
But you guys wanted
to have this meeting.
517
00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:58,418
You want these suggestions.
I have suggestions.
518
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,320
- I have a suggestion.
- Ma'am.
519
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,423
Why don't you two
move to Seattle?
520
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:03,958
I've been
suggesting for years
521
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,426
that Malcolm
move to Seattle.
522
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:07,294
Well, one thing
that we all do agree on
523
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:08,763
is that books are stupid.
524
00:17:08,997 --> 00:17:10,799
So you rejected Lance
525
00:17:10,866 --> 00:17:12,734
for a magician in a coma
526
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:13,735
with no face?
527
00:17:13,802 --> 00:17:14,802
Not exactly.
528
00:17:14,835 --> 00:17:15,937
It's not like you think.
529
00:17:16,004 --> 00:17:17,906
Wow. This is
quite a story.
530
00:17:17,973 --> 00:17:20,774
Oh, yeah, and we haven't even
gotten to the gory part yet.
531
00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:22,143
Gory part?
532
00:17:22,210 --> 00:17:25,012
Oh, it turns into
a real horror show.
533
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,149
I told you she
was trouble, man.
534
00:17:27,216 --> 00:17:29,318
Antoinette, can
I get the check?
535
00:17:30,686 --> 00:17:31,686
Where are you going?
536
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:33,053
Where am I going?
537
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,989
I'm going to save
face and get my girl.
538
00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:36,366
Technically, I'm
gonna lose face,
539
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:37,726
but that's just
semantics.
540
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:38,894
Catch you later.
541
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,294
Let me get
this straight.
542
00:17:40,361 --> 00:17:41,881
You want me to give
your face to Derek
543
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,430
- so he can live?
- That's right.
544
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,199
But you'll be in a coma
until you can get
545
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:46,634
a face transplant
yourself.
546
00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:48,301
Most people wait the
rest of their lives
547
00:17:48,337 --> 00:17:49,738
waiting on the face list.
548
00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:52,340
Lance, you can't go
through with this.
549
00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:54,943
Nina, I want you
looking at this face
550
00:17:55,010 --> 00:17:56,645
for the rest
of your life.
551
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:59,347
If that means I have to be in
a coma for that to happen,
552
00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,283
I'm willing to
take that risk.
553
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,017
Oh, Lance, you're...
554
00:18:03,084 --> 00:18:05,053
you're my hero.
555
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:08,055
[tender music]
556
00:18:08,122 --> 00:18:09,823
? ?
557
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:10,958
[kisses]
558
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:12,360
[monitor beeping]
559
00:18:12,427 --> 00:18:15,030
Let's do this.
560
00:18:15,097 --> 00:18:16,198
One thing.
561
00:18:16,264 --> 00:18:18,566
Don't mess up
this moustache.
562
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:19,501
Copy that.
563
00:18:19,568 --> 00:18:21,235
So wait.
You're Derek?
564
00:18:21,303 --> 00:18:24,104
No, no, wait. Get ready
for the abracadabra.
565
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:27,475
[dramatic music]
566
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:30,678
[ventilator hissing,
monitors beeping]
567
00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:36,016
? ?
568
00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:39,687
[device whirring]
569
00:18:39,755 --> 00:18:43,725
? ?
570
00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:45,660
Oh, gross.
571
00:18:46,661 --> 00:18:48,462
My poor Lance.
572
00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:50,632
My poor Lance?
573
00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:52,766
[soft music]
574
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:56,237
He... he's who I want...
575
00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:57,471
not faceless Derek.
576
00:18:57,539 --> 00:19:00,141
Doctor, Doctor!
Doctor?
577
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:02,177
I'm sorry, I can't hear
you through the glass.
578
00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:04,111
Can you put his
face back on?
579
00:19:04,178 --> 00:19:05,980
Put his face
back on, please?
580
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:07,582
I'm sorry, but
I've got to...
581
00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:09,851
I've got to do the laser...
the face right now.
582
00:19:09,918 --> 00:19:11,019
No, thank you.
583
00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:12,820
I want it back
on him again.
584
00:19:12,888 --> 00:19:14,188
I want Lance.
585
00:19:14,255 --> 00:19:15,295
You're very
understanding.
586
00:19:15,357 --> 00:19:16,691
I really appreciate it.
587
00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,392
[flesh squelching softly]
588
00:19:18,459 --> 00:19:20,794
You... you sure
it's right?
589
00:19:20,861 --> 00:19:21,929
? ?
590
00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:24,164
[upbeat orchestral
flourish]
591
00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:26,601
Then I could see your whole
skull and everything.
592
00:19:26,668 --> 00:19:27,901
That's great.
593
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,047
Well, your chart
looks pretty good,
594
00:19:29,071 --> 00:19:30,538
but I'm sorry
we weren't able
595
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,049
to take care of that
moustache business for you.
596
00:19:32,073 --> 00:19:33,807
You... I would've rather
597
00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:35,118
had you put my
face on inside out
598
00:19:35,142 --> 00:19:36,610
than not have
a moustache.
599
00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:38,612
Look, I agree, for the
symmetry of your face,
600
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:39,980
you need a moustache.
601
00:19:40,047 --> 00:19:41,459
I'm not arguing with
you about that.
602
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:43,150
But it's not up to me.
I'm a doctor.
603
00:19:43,217 --> 00:19:45,186
I can do this kind
of transplant.
604
00:19:45,253 --> 00:19:46,763
I can do lots of different
kinds of surgery,
605
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:48,455
but I can't do anything
involving hair.
606
00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:50,692
Well, thank you
for that, Doctor.
607
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:53,562
? ?
608
00:19:57,366 --> 00:19:58,433
Okay.
[dramatic music]
609
00:19:58,499 --> 00:20:00,200
You didn't hear
this from me.
610
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,267
There's a boat that comes
into international waters
611
00:20:02,303 --> 00:20:04,104
every couple of years.
You're in luck.
612
00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:06,640
This very month, it's coming
off the coast of Oregon.
613
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:08,552
Think the City of Hope, but
this is the City of Hair.
614
00:20:08,576 --> 00:20:10,311
I can put hair anywhere
on the human body
615
00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:11,888
that you want it, but you
got to play ball with me.
616
00:20:11,912 --> 00:20:13,414
You can't tell
anybody about it.
617
00:20:13,482 --> 00:20:15,402
But I'm gonna need an
imprint of that card today.
618
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:18,352
- Thank you, Doctor.
- You're welcome.
619
00:20:18,419 --> 00:20:19,954
Are you ready
to set sail?
620
00:20:20,021 --> 00:20:22,590
Lance, it seems
worth it to me.
621
00:20:22,657 --> 00:20:24,938
You know, there's a really cool
magic trick I heard about.
622
00:20:24,993 --> 00:20:26,360
Yeah, what is it?
623
00:20:26,428 --> 00:20:28,697
It's where I make
your penis disappear.
624
00:20:28,764 --> 00:20:31,699
[gentle orchestration]
625
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,668
? ?
626
00:20:33,735 --> 00:20:35,070
[loud slapping]
627
00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:37,138
Turns out that that gator
kept me from making
628
00:20:37,205 --> 00:20:39,307
the biggest mistake
of my whole life.
629
00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:41,976
This is a seriously
[bleep]-up story.
630
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:44,111
Yeah, what
happened to Derek?
631
00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:46,380
Yeah, he's, uh,
still waiting for a face.
632
00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:48,715
Yeah, we keep him
up in our attic,
633
00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:50,350
connected to a
bunch of machines.
634
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,753
That's why our electricity
bill is so high.
635
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:54,187
[electricity crackles]
636
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,622
This fire's so
nice, isn't it?
637
00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:57,158
[sighs] Yeah.
638
00:20:57,224 --> 00:20:58,259
It's, uh...
639
00:20:58,326 --> 00:20:59,660
Should we make s'mores?
640
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,629
[Derek groans]
[monitor beeping]
641
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:07,668
? So I give my
love to you ?
642
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,270
? Baby, yeah ?
643
00:21:09,337 --> 00:21:10,771
You're distracting me.
644
00:21:10,838 --> 00:21:12,039
I know.
645
00:21:12,106 --> 00:21:13,473
Keep your eyes
on the road.
646
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,376
- It's hard.
- I bet it is.
647
00:21:15,443 --> 00:21:16,544
If I put my leg... ow!
648
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,512
[bleep]!
God damn it.
649
00:21:18,579 --> 00:21:20,181
What... why is
that so hot?
650
00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:21,349
It's the engine.
651
00:21:21,415 --> 00:21:23,717
I just burned
my [bleep] leg.
652
00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:26,054
? Ain't nobody, baby ?
653
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:31,078
== Sync & corrections by Alice ==
== www,addic7ed.com ==
654
00:21:31,128 --> 00:21:35,678
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