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1
00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:17,819
And now,
it's time for a breakdown.
2
00:01:39,207 --> 00:01:40,851
Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah...
3
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,878
Man, I told you Robbie
Wheirdicht showers here
4
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,355
during first period.
5
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,316
Why doesn't he just shower at
home like a normal person?
6
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:51,219
Look at him. Does anything
about that look normal to you?
7
00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:55,791
You know, he's actually
a pretty good dancer.
8
00:01:58,694 --> 00:01:59,703
Let's wreck him.
9
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,473
Hey, Weird Dick!
10
00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,275
Come on.
11
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,035
Finally, young ladies
and young gentlemen,
12
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,946
it is my pleasure to
announce that the winner
13
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:13,384
of the National High School
Student of the Year Award
14
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,176
is none other than your very own
15
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,012
two-time student
body president,
16
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,624
the captain of Central High's
All Valley track team,
17
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,451
president of the drama club
18
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,929
and the senior voted
"Most Likely to Succeed."
19
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:28,924
I gotta tell you folks, after
40 years as an educator,
20
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,235
he is my favorite student.
21
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,569
I wish he were my son
22
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,996
if I were medically able
to have children.
23
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:39,476
He's everybody's
favorite all-around guy...
24
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,837
Calvin "The Golden Jet"
Joyner! Come on!
25
00:03:03,024 --> 00:03:07,438
Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
26
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,297
Oh, my goodness.
27
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,708
Wow. Wow, guys.
28
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:15,003
Hey! How about a hand
for Principal Kent, huh?
29
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,780
Huh?
30
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,975
Honestly, if my mom was into
white guys, it would be you.
31
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,076
I know it would, okay?
32
00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:25,656
Well, as we all know,
this is our last assembly
33
00:03:25,781 --> 00:03:28,650
which means this is the last
time, in front of you guys
34
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,993
that I'll be able to tell
35
00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:31,853
the most beautiful girl in the world...
36
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,022
I'm talking about you, Maggie Johnson,
37
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:37,701
that I love you.
I love you, baby. I do.
38
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,404
I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
39
00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:42,179
I'll save it.
40
00:03:43,999 --> 00:03:46,743
All right, guys.
We're seniors now.
41
00:03:46,868 --> 00:03:48,945
And once we get those diplomas,
42
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:52,549
the decisions that we make
after that are all up to us.
43
00:03:52,674 --> 00:03:55,185
I don't know what path
life is gonna take me on.
44
00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,845
But I can promise you all this...
45
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,714
That I, for one, will push myself
46
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,716
at every stage, at every step.
47
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,527
So, I got one question to ask.
48
00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:07,122
I got one question for the
graduating class of 1996
49
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,333
and that's "Will you..."
50
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,135
Check out my Weird Dick!
51
00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:39,496
Hey. Here, here man.
52
00:04:39,621 --> 00:04:41,164
Thank you.
53
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,442
Well, there's no coming back from that.
54
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,344
Calvin Joyner, everybody,
55
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,989
voted "Most Likely
to Succeed."
56
00:05:06,114 --> 00:05:10,018
Golden Jet!
Golden Jet! Golden Jet!
57
00:05:57,999 --> 00:05:59,710
Hey. Check it.
58
00:05:59,835 --> 00:06:01,378
What is the matter with you? What?
59
00:06:01,503 --> 00:06:02,613
What do you mean, "What"?
60
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,098
Why do you think I wanna see that?
61
00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,650
Well, no, I'm working on
a new sexting app.
62
00:06:05,674 --> 00:06:06,943
Okay. It's kind of like
Instagram, right?
63
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,076
But, instead of filters,
64
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,811
it just makes your junk look huge.
65
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,748
Like, three to six inches
bigger. It's amazing.
66
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:16,126
It's called "Junk Mail."
Clever, right?
67
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,662
You know, right now, this
little walk right here?
68
00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,522
I kinda want to just take
it away from my life.
69
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,891
Why are you all cranky-pants
this morning, huh?
70
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:26,537
Oh. It's because Ethan got
promoted instead of you?
71
00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:27,804
Ethan got promoted?
72
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,130
Youngest senior associate
73
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:30,335
in the history of the firm.
74
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,933
Corner office, the whole deal.
75
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,411
Didn't he used to be your assistant?
76
00:06:34,536 --> 00:06:36,847
Who cares! Hey, you should
come to lunch with us.
77
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:38,607
We're gonna be
celebrating his pro-mosh!
78
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,242
It'll probably be good for
you to kiss the ring a bit.
79
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:42,686
"Kiss the ring a bit"?
80
00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:45,146
Hey, you play your chessboard
however you like, okay?
81
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,416
Me, lunch today? I'm gonna
French kiss that thing.
82
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,126
Aah...
83
00:06:50,251 --> 00:06:53,296
I can't. I'm taking my wife
to lunch today, so...
84
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:54,756
All right.
Bummer for you.
85
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,958
* 'Cause we gonna get hyphy!
86
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,027
* We gonna get hyphy!
87
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,752
Right?
88
00:07:02,598 --> 00:07:04,299
Can you just get out of my face?
89
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,024
* Blessed.
90
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:19,414
To a guy I not only
consider my coworker,
91
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,149
but my personal friend.
92
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,283
To Ethan!
93
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,008
Cheers!
94
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:27,656
Do you wanna move tables?
I know this kind of sucks.
95
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,500
No, no. It doesn't suck.
96
00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:30,960
Hey, if I wanted to get
one of those ice teas
97
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,261
but I want most of it to be bourbon...
98
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,285
What is that called?
99
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,606
Okay. How about
we change the topic
100
00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:37,198
to something a little more fun?
101
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:38,942
Anything else, please.
102
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,176
Oh, how about...
103
00:07:40,301 --> 00:07:43,271
This is the dress that I'm
thinking about wearing.
104
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,414
Oh!
105
00:07:44,539 --> 00:07:45,742
Honey, I want every single girl
106
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,884
to be jealous tomorrow night.
107
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,009
Oh.
108
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:49,953
What?
109
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,622
I just...
I just don't want to go.
110
00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:53,615
Calvin, it's our 20-year
high school reunion.
111
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:54,950
I'm not gonna go without you.
112
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,385
We agreed we were going.
I RSVP'd for us.
113
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,155
I just changed my mind.
That's all.
114
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,532
Okay. I see.
115
00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:04,059
You're disappointed about the promotion.
I get it.
116
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,136
This is not about the promotion.
117
00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:08,939
Okay, this has to do with me not
wanting to spend my Friday night
118
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:10,984
answering the "What are
you doing now?" question.
119
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:12,534
That's what I'll get
all night. "Hey, Calvin,
120
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,303
"what are you doing now?"
"I'm an accountant."
121
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,370
"An accountant? Really?
122
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,413
"I thought you would
be the governor, man.
123
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,575
"Wait a minute. Didn't you get
voted "'Most Likely to Succeed'?
124
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:20,951
"I guess we
missed that one."
125
00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:22,720
Is this why you've been
so weird and moody, lately?
126
00:08:22,744 --> 00:08:24,046
'Cause you're freaking out
about the reunion?
127
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,288
No.
And what's the matter
128
00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:26,949
with being an accountant?
You love your job.
129
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,324
No, you love your job.
130
00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:30,351
I'm good at my job.
It's not the same thing.
131
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:31,519
Honey, that's not fair.
132
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,121
You're a partner at your firm.
133
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,632
I work in a building with a giant,
134
00:08:35,757 --> 00:08:37,400
inflatable gorilla out in front of it.
135
00:08:37,525 --> 00:08:39,295
Look, I don't want to be the
guy that peaked in high school
136
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,429
and, after he peaked,
his life went like this...
137
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,725
I don't know the sound
that that thing makes,
138
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:47,069
but you know what I'm trying to do.
139
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,413
I'm the guy that went down, okay?
140
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:49,512
Yeah.
Then my life
141
00:08:49,637 --> 00:08:50,997
down here became a disappointment.
142
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,373
That's what I'll be.
143
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,417
Wow.
144
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:55,686
What?
145
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:57,251
I had no idea that your life with me
146
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,614
was such a soundless,
crashing disappointment!
147
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,224
Don't do that.
148
00:09:01,349 --> 00:09:03,259
That's not... Don't do that.
That's the sound.
149
00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:05,121
You want to know the sound
I'm about to make right now?
150
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,487
The sound of me not going.
151
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,212
That's the sound I'm making.
152
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:10,890
I'm not going.
153
00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:14,894
Yeah.
154
00:09:22,871 --> 00:09:24,773
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
155
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,323
No.
156
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,726
Not going to that.
157
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,791
Bob Stone?
158
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,747
Okay.
159
00:10:06,414 --> 00:10:07,157
Hello?
160
00:10:07,282 --> 00:10:09,893
Hey.
Girl, you scared me.
161
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:13,529
I did? Yes. I thought that you were...
162
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,066
I just... On the...
163
00:10:16,191 --> 00:10:19,035
Never mind.
Hey, I'm glad you called.
164
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,229
I'm sorry about lunch today.
165
00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:23,707
I'm an idiot, babe.
166
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,134
I don't even know what's
going on with me right now.
167
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,802
I really don't.
Yeah?
168
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,879
Actually, honey,
169
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,239
that's what I was calling
to talk to you about.
170
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:35,251
Look, honey, I think
that we should see someone.
171
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:38,679
What do you mean, "Someone"?
What do you mean?
172
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,957
See someone, like a therapist.
173
00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:43,927
Uh, honey, black people
don't go to therapy.
174
00:10:44,052 --> 00:10:45,361
We go to barbershops.
175
00:10:45,486 --> 00:10:47,188
That's where we talk out our problems.
176
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,700
Or we watch the movie Barbershop.
One or the other.
177
00:10:49,825 --> 00:10:51,326
Look, my parents were really unhappy
178
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,428
for a long time
before they got divorced.
179
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:57,307
And maybe if they saw someone sooner,
they would still be married.
180
00:10:57,432 --> 00:11:00,376
I just want to nip this thing
in the bud, whatever it is.
181
00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:03,046
I don't want to end up like my parents.
182
00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:04,605
Wassup?
183
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,330
Wassup?
184
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,613
Please, just do it
for me, if not for you.
185
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,761
All right. Uh...
186
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,421
When... When do you
want to do it?
187
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:21,631
Really?
188
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:23,624
The doctor said
he could see us at 6:00 p.m.
189
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:24,749
Um...
190
00:11:24,826 --> 00:11:26,227
6:00 p.m., when? Tonight?
191
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,229
Yeah. Yeah,
is that a problem?
192
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,067
Holy shit!
Robbie Wheirdicht.
193
00:11:33,101 --> 00:11:35,904
Calvin, honey? Hello?
194
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,313
Um, yeah.
195
00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:40,583
I can't. I already made plans
for tonight, baby.
196
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:41,776
Plans with who?
197
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,253
With Bob Stone.
198
00:11:43,378 --> 00:11:45,380
Who's Bob Stone? That
sounds like a fake name.
199
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,850
No, no. Do you remember Robbie
Wheirdicht, from high school?
200
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,560
No.
201
00:11:50,685 --> 00:11:51,954
The guy who got beaten up by
Trisha Demarco at homecoming?
202
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,830
No.
203
00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:55,824
The kid that tried to rap along to
Coolio's "1,2,3,4" at the talent show
204
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:57,667
but then he kinda lost
his way, midway through
205
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:59,428
so he just started bopping his
head, and he stood there?
206
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,804
No. Nothing.
207
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,098
The guy who got thrown out the gym,
208
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,364
butt-ass-naked,
senior year?
209
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,299
Oh, my God, yeah!
210
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,176
Why wouldn't you start with that?
211
00:12:06,301 --> 00:12:08,079
Because I thought that was kind of mean.
I don't know.
212
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,705
He never came back
to school after that, right?
213
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,772
Like, not for finals
or graduation or anything.
214
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,075
I'm not sure. I don't
know if he did or not,
215
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,419
but he changed his name to "Bob Stone"
216
00:12:16,544 --> 00:12:18,822
and apparently he's in town
for the high school reunion.
217
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,249
He wants to go to dinner tonight,
218
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,473
and I kinda
already said "yes."
219
00:12:21,516 --> 00:12:22,651
Okay.
If you want me to cancel,
220
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:23,860
I will. You know?
221
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,695
If that's what you want, I don't mind.
222
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,123
Mmm-mmm. I mean, it's a
little weird, but whatever.
223
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,591
I'll just see if the doctor
can fit us in tomorrow.
224
00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,069
How about at lunch time?
Okay. All right, fine.
225
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:34,329
Okay, good. I love you.
226
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,464
I love you, too,
babe. I do.
227
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,337
- Oh, my...
- What is that?
228
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,480
Okay.
Calvin? Are you...
229
00:12:44,605 --> 00:12:46,205
Love you. Bye-bye.
230
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:49,986
No!
231
00:12:50,111 --> 00:12:51,721
Stop, stop!
232
00:12:51,846 --> 00:12:53,081
Hey, man. I...
233
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,491
Hey! What's up, guys?
234
00:12:55,616 --> 00:12:58,494
Congratulations on that promotion, man.
235
00:12:58,619 --> 00:13:00,030
It's quite the thing.
236
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:03,099
Thank you. Hey, that's
not work appropriate.
237
00:13:03,224 --> 00:13:04,000
Yup.
238
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:06,027
Not cool, man. Not cool.
239
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:11,132
Dude, forward that to me.
240
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,343
For real man, seriously?
241
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,379
Yeah. Watch it, punk.
242
00:13:26,747 --> 00:13:28,347
Excuse you, too.
243
00:13:48,236 --> 00:13:51,547
My man!
244
00:13:51,672 --> 00:13:52,673
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
245
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,398
Calvin. It's me, Bob.
246
00:13:56,011 --> 00:13:58,855
Sorry, what?
Do I know you?
247
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,181
Do you know...
248
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:04,094
Robbie Wheirdicht from high school!
249
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,229
Are you kidding? What?
250
00:14:06,354 --> 00:14:07,722
Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht?
251
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,499
Yeah!
252
00:14:09,624 --> 00:14:12,368
God, man, look at you! You've
lost, like, 200 pounds!
253
00:14:12,493 --> 00:14:14,195
I see you gained it back in muscle.
254
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,072
Oh, my God!
You look great!
255
00:14:16,197 --> 00:14:17,807
No, you look great!
Stop it.
256
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,601
No, you haven't changed
since high school, dude!
257
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:23,779
No, you're just sexy as dick right now.
258
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,207
You don't look somebody
in the eyes and say that.
259
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,483
Hey, let's get hammered.
260
00:14:27,608 --> 00:14:29,877
I got an early day at work,
so I'll probably...
261
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,346
No, come on, I'm buying!
262
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,680
Oh, shit.
263
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,024
Mmm.
264
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:36,893
I'm sorry, man.
I am blown away right now.
265
00:14:37,018 --> 00:14:38,828
Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie.
266
00:14:38,953 --> 00:14:39,963
Look at you!
267
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,423
This is like a total transformation.
268
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,233
You look like Hercules or somebody.
269
00:14:43,358 --> 00:14:44,959
What did you do?
Come on, give it to me.
270
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,237
I didn't do much, really.
Stop it.
271
00:14:47,362 --> 00:14:49,739
All right. Well, I just did one thing.
272
00:14:49,864 --> 00:14:51,132
Come on, I need to know.
273
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,409
I worked out
six hours a day, every day,
274
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,270
for the last 20 years straight.
275
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:57,972
I mean, anybody can do it, right?
276
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,183
Yeah.
277
00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:04,687
Yeah. You know,
I've gotten into hot yoga.
278
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:07,515
I started doing some sessions.
279
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,792
Uh-huh.
280
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:11,152
Nice unicorn, man.
281
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,688
Oh, yeah,
I'm big-time into 'corns.
282
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,198
So magical, right?
283
00:15:15,323 --> 00:15:17,625
You know, they're the most
lethal animal on the planet.
284
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,750
Here you go.
285
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,603
Guys, my name's Lexi.
286
00:15:20,728 --> 00:15:22,397
Just let me know if you need anything.
287
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:23,522
Okay.
288
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:27,710
I mean, like, anything at all.
289
00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:29,345
Okie-dokie.
290
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,148
You're funny. Do you
ever, like, Snapchat?
291
00:15:32,273 --> 00:15:33,341
Oh, no. You know...
292
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,451
I wasn't talking to you.
293
00:15:35,576 --> 00:15:37,387
No, no, no.
I don't do that.
294
00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:40,014
I'm just catching up with an
old friend from high school.
295
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:42,350
Aw. You're so sweet.
296
00:15:43,518 --> 00:15:45,253
I think unicorns are sexy, too.
297
00:15:47,455 --> 00:15:49,490
That must happen to you
all the time, right?
298
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,101
Ah, nah.
299
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:53,128
I mean, all that
meaningless sex is just...
300
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,962
It's not my bag anymore, CJ.
301
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:56,639
Oh.
302
00:15:56,764 --> 00:15:58,534
No, now, I'm looking for more
of an emotional connection.
303
00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,734
The next woman I lay with,
304
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,569
she's gonna be beautiful on the inside,
305
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,147
just as much as she is on the outside.
306
00:16:04,272 --> 00:16:05,415
Hey, wait.
Whatever happened
307
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,220
to that girl that you liked
in high school?
308
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,519
Oh, God, man.
The "Doogie Howser" girl.
309
00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:11,746
She was 14, but somehow
she was a senior.
310
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,356
She wore a cape.
311
00:16:13,481 --> 00:16:15,891
Darla McGuckian.
Darla McGuckian.
312
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,727
"Yucky Gucky."
313
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,687
Didn't she have
a lazy eye or something?
314
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:20,821
Two of 'em.
315
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,298
Right.
316
00:16:22,423 --> 00:16:23,459
Hey, but listen, I don't
wanna talk about me.
317
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,834
I wanna talk about you.
318
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:27,303
I heard that you and
Maggie Johnson got hitched.
319
00:16:27,428 --> 00:16:29,205
Yeah, man, right after college.
320
00:16:29,330 --> 00:16:31,132
Wow! The prettiest girl
in school,
321
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:32,900
and the coolest guy in school!
322
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,310
Oh, man, I got lucky.
323
00:16:34,435 --> 00:16:35,771
I mean, you guys are like
a power couple, dude!
324
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,113
No, no.
Yes!
325
00:16:37,238 --> 00:16:38,381
You're like Taylor Swift
326
00:16:38,506 --> 00:16:40,175
and whoever she's dating right now.
327
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,484
Power.
328
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:42,852
Uh... Thanks!
329
00:16:42,977 --> 00:16:44,612
Yeah. You guys got kids?
330
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:45,988
No. No kids yet.
331
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:47,915
We planned on it after college,
332
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,085
but Maggie went to law school,
I kept changing jobs.
333
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:54,664
You know, having kids just
isn't in our cards right now.
334
00:16:54,789 --> 00:16:56,090
Not at this point, that's all.
335
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,267
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
336
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,093
Oh, I got an idea.
Let's do shots!
337
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,536
No!
338
00:17:00,661 --> 00:17:02,301
I'm sorry for saying
it like that, but no.
339
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:03,932
I haven't had shots
in almost 10 years, man.
340
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:07,143
What? Come on, we have to!
We're celebrating!
341
00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:09,011
Celebrating what?
342
00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,739
Celebrating that I'm hanging with
the coolest kid in high school.
343
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,040
Oh, stop it.
Calvin Joyner!
344
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:16,086
The Golden Jet.
345
00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:19,680
You got to be
shitting me. Wow!
346
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,691
I haven't... God!
347
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:24,094
It's been forever
since I heard that, man!
348
00:17:24,219 --> 00:17:25,220
I'll do one.
All right!
349
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,496
One shot.
Shots!
350
00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:27,497
No. One shot.
351
00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:29,865
Just one, okay?
Bob, it's been a while.
352
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:32,327
Oh, shit! You remember this?
353
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,070
This was the jammy-jam!
354
00:17:34,195 --> 00:17:36,231
What's that?
Is that a fanny pack, Bob?
355
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,965
Hell, yeah!
Dude, you want one?
356
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,342
No, it's okay.
357
00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:41,068
I got two at home.
I'll hook you up.
358
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,538
Leather pack for The Jet.
359
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,705
Fanny!
360
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,382
Shit.
361
00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:49,009
What the hell did I get myself into?
362
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,753
Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
363
00:17:50,878 --> 00:17:53,823
Whoa! Hey, sir, somebody's
actually sitting there.
364
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:54,949
Yeah, someone was.
365
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,292
No! Hey, man!
366
00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:58,028
Hey, you don't see
the sweatshirt right here?
367
00:17:58,052 --> 00:17:59,154
Man, somebody's sitting here.
Move your meat,
368
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,396
lose your seat.
369
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:01,823
Dude, you don't have
to be a dick about it.
370
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,358
Somebody's sitting in the chair.
371
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,636
Bro, are you seriously
gonna go there, bro?
372
00:18:06,761 --> 00:18:08,963
'Cause there's only one way back, bro.
373
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,332
Through intensive care, bro.
374
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,709
Was that the last "bro"?
375
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:15,169
'Cause if it was, then I'll talk.
376
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:16,671
That supposed to be funny?
377
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,014
Hey, now!
378
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,416
What's the rumpus?
379
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:21,843
You know...
There's no problem, man.
380
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,110
Let's just go to another table.
381
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:24,320
Get your jacket.
Let's go.
382
00:18:24,445 --> 00:18:25,681
No, we're not gonna go anywhere.
383
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,022
Listen to your pussy friend.
384
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,917
Those gym muscles
aren't scaring anybody, pal.
385
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:29,941
Oh, these?
386
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,218
Let's just go. It's okay.
387
00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:33,529
No, we're not gonna go.
This man insulted you.
388
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,690
And we're not gonna leave
until he apologizes.
389
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:36,566
It's okay.
390
00:18:36,691 --> 00:18:38,000
Hey, we got a problem here?
391
00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,827
No, no. Yeah, we got a big problem.
392
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,838
Your friend, here,
really insulted my friend
393
00:18:42,963 --> 00:18:44,031
and he needs to apologize.
394
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,165
I don't think he does.
395
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,290
He doesn't.
396
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,278
Whoa! You know what, man?
397
00:18:48,403 --> 00:18:49,603
I think this whole situation's
398
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:50,806
getting a little out of control.
399
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,206
I can fix this whole thing.
400
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:54,509
I'll order some nachos.
The "Explosions."
401
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,086
It's got four cheeses!
Let's eat 'em together.
402
00:18:57,211 --> 00:18:58,346
You know what?
You take them.
403
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,522
Let's go.
404
00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:00,949
Nah. We're not
going anywhere, Jet.
405
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,484
This whole thing
will be over in a jiff.
406
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,093
Hey, how about this?
407
00:19:04,218 --> 00:19:05,421
Why don't you and your boyfriend
408
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,729
apologize to Big Rick here
409
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,123
and then go jerk each other
in the parking lot?
410
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,248
That's a lot...
411
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,401
Yeah. You're right, CJ.
412
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:12,660
That's a lot of homophobia
413
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,370
coming out of a very angry man.
414
00:19:14,495 --> 00:19:16,855
You need to go get that looked
at by a trained professional.
415
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,309
But, since you have
escalated this whole scenario
416
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,835
by bringing what I can only assume
417
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,213
is an unlicensed firearm
into this public place,
418
00:19:23,338 --> 00:19:25,740
endangering the lives of
all these innocent people,
419
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,651
I can no longer, in good
conscience, walk away
420
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,645
and jerk anyone off in the parking lot.
421
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,788
I'm afraid we ain't going anywhere.
422
00:19:32,913 --> 00:19:34,416
It's time for you
to get out of here, pal.
423
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,492
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
424
00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:39,219
There's four of us, tough guy.
425
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,130
Yeah. I got that.
426
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:42,958
All right. Well, before
this whole thing goes down,
427
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,382
you should know one thing about me.
428
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,084
What's that?
429
00:19:49,196 --> 00:19:51,307
I don't like bullies.
430
00:20:02,042 --> 00:20:04,119
Let's go, Jet.
431
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,689
Yes.
432
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:09,792
Oh, my God!
I hope he's Catholic.
433
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,096
Oh, my God!
434
00:20:14,221 --> 00:20:15,865
What the hell was that?
435
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:17,759
Bob, that was amazing! I've
never seen anything like that!
436
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,503
You took the one guy,
you hit him like this.
437
00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:20,795
He couldn't breathe.
438
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,405
I sat there, I'm looking at him...
439
00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,140
You talkin' to him like,
"I don't like bullies."
440
00:20:24,164 --> 00:20:25,701
I was like, "That's not a
good line." But it was!
441
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,002
I didn't even know you could fight!
442
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,537
You had a unicorn shirt, a fanny pack,
443
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,712
and it totally worked!
444
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,972
You were like Jason Bourne,
man, but with jorts!
445
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,575
How did you do that? Where'd
you learn that stuff?
446
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,519
I took a couple classes at work.
447
00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:37,887
I hope I didn't go too far.
448
00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:39,814
I'm sorry about ruining the night, Jet.
449
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,417
Ruin my night? No! It was the
coolest thing ever, man!
450
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:43,826
Really?
Yes!
451
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,271
To see my boy go in and whoop ass
452
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,457
on those idiots back there.
453
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,988
Dude, that was amazing!
454
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,300
Wait, we're boys?
455
00:20:50,425 --> 00:20:52,025
Yeah, we boys.
456
00:20:53,227 --> 00:20:54,827
Wow. I...
457
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:57,763
Never had a boy.
458
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,968
That's awesome! Come here!
459
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,712
Oh, wait.
460
00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,639
Stop. What's going on, man?
461
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,550
I'm a hugger!
What're you doing?
462
00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:10,911
Hey! I got an idea.
Let's roll. Here's my bike.
463
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,247
Wait. That's your bike?
464
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:15,090
Yeah. Kawasaki 800!
465
00:21:15,215 --> 00:21:16,592
I know what the bike is.
466
00:21:16,717 --> 00:21:18,553
I had the same bike
in high school, man.
467
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,330
You still ride?
No, man.
468
00:21:20,455 --> 00:21:21,623
I haven't ridden a bike in years!
469
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,933
Oh, come on, let's roll.
470
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,762
Where?
Where you trying to go?
471
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:31,407
I know the perfect spot.
Come on, Jet.
472
00:21:31,532 --> 00:21:33,200
You know, why not?
Why not?
473
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,811
After this... Yeah, okay!
474
00:21:35,936 --> 00:21:37,380
Let's roll.
475
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:42,510
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Bob!
Slow, slow, slow!
476
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,235
Bob, hey, hey!
477
00:21:49,784 --> 00:21:52,862
God, this is so crazy, man.
478
00:21:52,987 --> 00:21:55,055
This brings back so many memories.
479
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,467
I don't know, CJ.
480
00:21:57,592 --> 00:21:59,027
I mean, high school
wasn't easy for me, man.
481
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,436
I don't know if you know this,
482
00:22:00,561 --> 00:22:02,405
but I didn't have
many friends back then.
483
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,073
What?
484
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,708
Really?
No.
485
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:07,134
I don't know why I thought...
486
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,911
True story.
Oh.
487
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,506
Man, I thought high school was
gonna be like Sixteen Candles
488
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:13,215
and I was gonna be like Molly Ringwald.
489
00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:14,710
Sure, things were
difficult in the beginning,
490
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,151
but then, by the end,
491
00:22:16,276 --> 00:22:17,487
everything worked out.
492
00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:19,914
And Jake Ryan picked her up
in that red Porsche.
493
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,090
What-what?
494
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,292
You ever see that movie?
495
00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:25,495
I'm black, so I don't know the...
496
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,187
Oh. You gotta
see it, dude.
497
00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:30,466
Total classic. It's my
favorite all-time movie.
498
00:22:30,591 --> 00:22:31,792
Then I realized high school
499
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,737
was nothing like Sixteen Candles.
500
00:22:34,862 --> 00:22:36,931
And I'll never be like Molly Ringwald.
501
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:40,635
Yeah, well, depends on who you ask.
502
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,537
That's the thing.
For me, I...
503
00:22:43,804 --> 00:22:46,048
What's going on?
504
00:22:46,173 --> 00:22:49,018
Oh, wow.
505
00:22:49,143 --> 00:22:51,023
Hey, man, I just wanna say
that I'm really sorry
506
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:53,714
about what Trevor and those
guys did to you back then.
507
00:23:00,187 --> 00:23:03,599
No biggie. I don't even
think about it anymore. No.
508
00:23:03,724 --> 00:23:05,100
Okay, good.
509
00:23:05,225 --> 00:23:07,162
Yeah. Here's the secret.
You know what I did, Jet?
510
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,496
I took all that stuff and
I balled it up real tight
511
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:12,475
and then I shoved it way down deep.
512
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,869
And I just pretty much ignore it.
513
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:18,047
You know, that sounds
really unhealthy, Bob.
514
00:23:18,172 --> 00:23:19,214
Hey, I gotta tell you.
515
00:23:19,339 --> 00:23:21,375
You were the only one
who helped me out that day.
516
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:22,943
In the gym?
Remember that?
517
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,521
And you gave me your lettermans jacket!
518
00:23:25,646 --> 00:23:26,881
Hey, not for nothing,
519
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,183
but I never got that jacket back, man.
520
00:23:29,308 --> 00:23:31,118
Huh! Really?
521
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,062
Strange.
522
00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:34,589
Hey, but, listen,
I just wanna thank you
523
00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:35,824
for what you did for me that day.
524
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,391
That was really cool of you, Jet.
525
00:23:37,516 --> 00:23:40,703
Stop, man. It was the right
thing to do, you know?
526
00:23:40,828 --> 00:23:42,068
You wanna hear something weird?
527
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,154
What?
528
00:23:43,230 --> 00:23:45,265
I have not been naked since that day.
529
00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:47,101
I mean, not in front of anyone.
530
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:48,410
Never.
531
00:23:48,535 --> 00:23:50,238
So, you're telling me
that for the last 20 years,
532
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,022
you've never been seen
in your birthday suit?
533
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:53,373
What about when you have sex?
534
00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:55,610
I keep it pitch-black,
just like Vin Diesel.
535
00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:58,779
Hey, Bob, look, if you
ever wanna talk, I'm here.
536
00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:00,890
So I don't mind, you know?
537
00:24:01,015 --> 00:24:02,417
I don't mind at all, if you wanna...
538
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,041
What?
539
00:24:07,087 --> 00:24:09,565
Whoa. This is all our stuff
from our year!
540
00:24:09,690 --> 00:24:10,891
Yeah. Must be getting ready
541
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:12,568
for the reunion tomorrow night.
542
00:24:12,693 --> 00:24:14,093
Come on, man.
Let's get out of here.
543
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,096
What? No! "Get out..."
Look, you're all over this!
544
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:19,900
Look at this. Basketball,
baseball, cross country.
545
00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:21,176
Hamlet.
546
00:24:21,301 --> 00:24:22,311
Prom King.
547
00:24:22,436 --> 00:24:23,913
There's Darla McGuckian.
548
00:24:24,038 --> 00:24:26,248
Synchronized swimming, that's so sexy.
549
00:24:26,373 --> 00:24:27,817
This is like the Guinness Book
550
00:24:27,942 --> 00:24:30,144
of Golden Jet Records right there.
551
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:32,321
I see that.
552
00:24:32,446 --> 00:24:35,558
To be honest with you, I don't
even recognize this guy anymore.
553
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,184
This guy, here, he was gonna...
554
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,353
He was gonna conquer the world.
555
00:24:40,788 --> 00:24:42,356
If 18-year-old me
could see me now,
556
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,591
he'd probably think
I was a total loser.
557
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:47,336
What? That's crazy talk!
558
00:24:47,461 --> 00:24:49,163
You're The Golden Jet, dude! Stop.
559
00:24:49,288 --> 00:24:52,808
Stop, Bob. Spare me
with The Golden Jet shit.
560
00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:55,269
I'm not The Golden Jet, man.
I'm an accountant.
561
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:56,994
That's my reality.
562
00:24:59,473 --> 00:25:03,018
I just thought I was
meant for more, you know?
563
00:25:03,143 --> 00:25:05,379
My life would be something special.
564
00:25:07,081 --> 00:25:08,316
You know how they say every man
565
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,826
is the hero of his own story?
566
00:25:10,951 --> 00:25:12,662
Was that in Twilight?
567
00:25:12,787 --> 00:25:15,297
No, I don't think
that's where it's from.
568
00:25:15,422 --> 00:25:17,667
But those books are cool,
right? Vampires!
569
00:25:17,792 --> 00:25:19,660
Oh, and there's a wolf-boy.
570
00:25:19,785 --> 00:25:24,774
I'm not... I'm not talking
about Twilight, Bob, okay?
571
00:25:24,899 --> 00:25:26,234
I'm talking about the fact
that I don't feel like
572
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,977
I'm the hero
of my own story. That's...
573
00:25:28,102 --> 00:25:29,870
How are you not the hero
of your own story?
574
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:31,280
No one else can be!
575
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:33,215
Yo, CJ, I gotta be
honest with you, man.
576
00:25:33,340 --> 00:25:35,042
I mean, all this talk
about Calvin Joyner
577
00:25:35,167 --> 00:25:36,543
not feeling like he's a hero...
578
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:38,578
That's crazy talk, man.
579
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,122
No. No, it's not.
580
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:42,449
You were the best thing
about high school.
581
00:25:42,574 --> 00:25:43,984
I'll always believe in you.
582
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:46,862
Yo, do you remember those
backflips you used to do?
583
00:25:46,987 --> 00:25:48,756
The crowd would go crazy!
I was there, too.
584
00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:50,891
I was, like,
"What? How's he do that?"
585
00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:52,616
How did you do that?
586
00:25:53,894 --> 00:25:56,138
I don't know.
I just did it, man.
587
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:57,406
Exactly.
588
00:25:57,531 --> 00:25:59,308
So, do it now.
589
00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:02,511
No, no. You're crazy! No.
590
00:26:02,636 --> 00:26:03,813
What's that?
591
00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:05,240
What're you talking about?
What's what?
592
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,707
Golden Jet!
No, stop it.
593
00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:08,642
Golden Jet!
Okay, stop it!
594
00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:10,410
Golden Jet!
All right.
595
00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:11,754
Golden Jet!
596
00:26:11,879 --> 00:26:15,049
I'm not gonna stop until
you do The Golden Jet flip!
597
00:26:15,174 --> 00:26:16,258
Golden Jet!
598
00:26:16,383 --> 00:26:18,252
All right, everybody,
settle down. Settle down!
599
00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:20,963
If the crowd wants a Golden Jet flip,
600
00:26:21,088 --> 00:26:23,123
then they gonna get a Golden Jet flip.
601
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,848
You go, girl!
602
00:26:26,927 --> 00:26:30,205
Oh, God!
603
00:26:30,330 --> 00:26:32,099
That was so close, Jet.
604
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,144
Here, buddy. Come on.
605
00:26:35,269 --> 00:26:37,219
They must have just waxed these floors.
606
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:41,141
That was definitely a first, man.
607
00:26:42,509 --> 00:26:44,319
Oh, man, I am beat.
608
00:26:44,444 --> 00:26:46,044
Oh.
609
00:26:47,514 --> 00:26:48,624
Hey, Jet!
610
00:26:48,749 --> 00:26:52,286
Man, I had a great time tonight.
611
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:53,729
Whoa.
612
00:26:53,854 --> 00:26:55,865
You know what? I had a
good time, too, man.
613
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,591
I feel like I needed this, you know?
614
00:26:57,716 --> 00:27:00,302
Yeah. Yeah. Me, too!
615
00:27:00,427 --> 00:27:01,470
Thank you.
616
00:27:01,595 --> 00:27:03,739
My pleasure, amigo.
Anytime.
617
00:27:03,864 --> 00:27:07,634
Hey, if there's ever anything I can
do for you, just say the word.
618
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:10,612
Wow. You really mean that?
619
00:27:10,737 --> 00:27:12,081
Yeah.
620
00:27:12,206 --> 00:27:14,750
I wasn't gonna bring it up,
but I might as well.
621
00:27:14,875 --> 00:27:16,144
Lately, I've been having this problem
622
00:27:16,168 --> 00:27:18,654
with my payroll account.
And, um...
623
00:27:18,779 --> 00:27:20,522
It's all screwed up, somehow.
624
00:27:20,647 --> 00:27:23,617
You know, I was overseas working
for a while before I got fired.
625
00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:24,742
So, it's kinda like
626
00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:26,486
a forensic international account thingy
627
00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:30,124
which, I think, is kind
of your specialty, right?
628
00:27:31,325 --> 00:27:32,601
Um...
629
00:27:32,726 --> 00:27:36,138
Yeah, no, it is. I'll take
a look at that for you.
630
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:37,664
You would?
You would do that for me?
631
00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:38,789
I've got the login info,
632
00:27:38,899 --> 00:27:40,434
if you wanna crack open your computer,
633
00:27:40,559 --> 00:27:42,144
we can do this!
634
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:43,713
Oh, you mean now?
635
00:27:43,838 --> 00:27:46,006
That's awesome! Yeah!
Okay.
636
00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:48,075
Look at this!
Hey, Bob...
637
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,084
Whoa!
638
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,645
Bob, you gotta keep your voice down!
639
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,022
Maggie's sleeping.
640
00:27:53,147 --> 00:27:54,223
Wow.
641
00:27:54,348 --> 00:27:55,950
This is a pretty serious international
642
00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:57,760
account dossier you've got here.
643
00:27:57,885 --> 00:27:59,419
Right? I just want
to make sure
644
00:27:59,544 --> 00:28:01,521
everything was hunky-dory.
645
00:28:05,492 --> 00:28:07,194
Going to your router.
646
00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:09,997
Now you're talking to me.
647
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:12,399
Bingo.
648
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,743
I'm in.
649
00:28:13,868 --> 00:28:16,303
Oh. That's great, Jet.
Thank you, man!
650
00:28:19,874 --> 00:28:21,884
I mean, just looking
at it first-hand,
651
00:28:22,009 --> 00:28:23,244
it kinda looks like it's a bunch
652
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:25,254
of off-shore
escrow accounts.
653
00:28:25,379 --> 00:28:28,858
These have been backwashed
into a series of domestic
654
00:28:28,983 --> 00:28:30,525
dummy accounts for some reason.
655
00:28:30,650 --> 00:28:33,695
I mean, the logs are all crazy, too.
You have China,
656
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:36,098
Syria, Iran.
657
00:28:36,223 --> 00:28:37,757
This is an auction site, Bob!
658
00:28:39,293 --> 00:28:40,970
These are bids.
All of these.
659
00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:43,773
This is hundreds of millions of
dollars in bids, right here.
660
00:28:43,898 --> 00:28:45,240
And judging by this clock, here,
661
00:28:45,365 --> 00:28:46,805
it says it's all gonna end tomorrow.
662
00:28:46,925 --> 00:28:49,311
Whoa! What the hell?
663
00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:50,436
Why?
664
00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:51,280
What did...
665
00:28:51,405 --> 00:28:53,007
Oh! I'm sorry, Jet!
Bob!
666
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:55,818
Jet, I'm so sorry!
Oh, man.
667
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:57,019
I'm all thumbs.
668
00:28:57,144 --> 00:28:58,245
It's my computer!
669
00:28:58,370 --> 00:28:59,955
I'm sorry.
No! Please, Bob.
670
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,416
I'm sorry, Jet.
Leave it. I got it.
671
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,951
It's fine, Bob.
It's fine. Just leave it.
672
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:05,485
The worst!
673
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:06,896
God!
674
00:29:07,021 --> 00:29:09,331
Hey! What the hell
was that on that site?
675
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:11,491
That didn't have anything
to do with payroll.
676
00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:13,827
I don't know. I've never
seen that before.
677
00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:14,952
That was crazy.
678
00:29:15,029 --> 00:29:16,305
Let's figure it out tomorrow
679
00:29:16,430 --> 00:29:17,898
when we're bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed.
680
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,309
What do you say, CJ?
I am beat.
681
00:29:20,434 --> 00:29:22,644
Hey, do you mind if I crash here?
682
00:29:22,769 --> 00:29:24,546
Um...
683
00:29:24,671 --> 00:29:26,271
No.
684
00:29:27,507 --> 00:29:29,609
Let me go grab some blankets.
685
00:29:34,248 --> 00:29:36,883
Hey, thanks for the jammies, Jet.
686
00:29:37,918 --> 00:29:40,429
Okay, well, you can keep those.
687
00:29:40,554 --> 00:29:42,589
Those are...
Those are officially yours.
688
00:29:43,958 --> 00:29:46,035
Yeah.
689
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,838
All right.
Oh.
690
00:29:48,963 --> 00:29:50,265
You gonna sleep with your fanny pack.
691
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,533
Golden Jet!
Yeah, it's my baby.
692
00:30:04,979 --> 00:30:08,348
You, uh, need anything else?
You're okay?
693
00:30:10,117 --> 00:30:11,519
I can't believe I'm having a sleepover
694
00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:13,520
at Calvin Joyner's house right now.
695
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:17,691
This is blowing my mind!
696
00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,101
Okay.
697
00:30:19,226 --> 00:30:21,103
Uh, good night, Bob.
698
00:30:21,228 --> 00:30:22,828
Good night, Jet.
699
00:30:42,416 --> 00:30:43,850
Me?
700
00:30:43,975 --> 00:30:45,575
Yeah, you.
701
00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:52,734
What the hell?
702
00:30:55,129 --> 00:30:56,729
One second.
703
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:02,993
Hold on.
704
00:31:06,873 --> 00:31:08,050
Uh, may I help you?
705
00:31:08,175 --> 00:31:09,610
Mr. Joyner,
my name is Pamela Harris,
706
00:31:09,634 --> 00:31:12,079
I'm with the Central
Intelligence Agency.
707
00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:14,756
Have you had any contact with this man?
708
00:31:14,881 --> 00:31:17,792
Uh, yeah, he's on my...
He's on my couch sleeping.
709
00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:18,985
Target's in the house.
710
00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:21,288
What's going on? Hey!
711
00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:24,124
Excuse me. Excuse me!
712
00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:29,438
Target's fled.
713
00:31:29,563 --> 00:31:30,639
Shit.
714
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:31,865
Target's on the move.
715
00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:33,590
Excuse me! What...
716
00:31:37,304 --> 00:31:39,048
Hello, hey! Excuse me!
717
00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:40,341
And voice chatter in the vicinity.
718
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:41,951
Hello! Excuse me!
719
00:31:42,076 --> 00:31:43,678
If he's in the wind again, it's
gonna be your ass. Go now.
720
00:31:43,702 --> 00:31:46,046
Hello! Alert Langley,
asset uncontained.
721
00:31:46,171 --> 00:31:47,322
Excuse me!
722
00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:49,091
Can I help you?
Hello!
723
00:31:49,216 --> 00:31:50,784
It's my house.
Is something going on?
724
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:52,061
Well, Mr. Joyner,
725
00:31:52,186 --> 00:31:53,488
your sleepover buddy, Robert Wheirdicht
726
00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:55,464
is wanted for murder and treason
727
00:31:55,589 --> 00:31:56,898
and is presently in possession
728
00:31:57,023 --> 00:31:58,383
of highly classified state secrets
729
00:31:58,483 --> 00:32:00,127
which he intends to sell
to our enemies.
730
00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,271
You mind?
731
00:32:02,396 --> 00:32:05,407
Creamer's in the fridge.
What?
732
00:32:05,532 --> 00:32:06,942
I don't need it.
733
00:32:07,067 --> 00:32:09,002
What I do need is information.
734
00:32:09,127 --> 00:32:11,947
I need you to tell me
everything and anything
735
00:32:12,072 --> 00:32:14,683
about your contact with Agent Stone.
736
00:32:14,808 --> 00:32:15,808
Agent Stone?
737
00:32:15,875 --> 00:32:17,311
Bob, your friend Bob.
738
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:20,155
Come on.
Stay with me, please.
739
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,482
Okay, I think
there's a misunderstanding.
740
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:24,693
No. No, he is not
my friend.
741
00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:26,886
Then why did he list you
as his emergency contact
742
00:32:27,011 --> 00:32:28,155
in all his personnel forms?
743
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,398
I'm sorry... He what?
744
00:32:29,523 --> 00:32:31,043
Bob Stone has no siblings, or parents,
745
00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:32,192
or family of any kind.
746
00:32:32,317 --> 00:32:33,460
You are the only person
747
00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:35,895
he listed in his personal references.
748
00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:37,372
Oh...
749
00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,674
That's crazy, all right?
I barely even know the guy.
750
00:32:39,799 --> 00:32:41,359
Then, why was he sleeping
on your couch?
751
00:32:41,435 --> 00:32:43,037
Because we went out
and had drinks last night.
752
00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:45,580
Oh, so you went out drinking
with your non-friend?
753
00:32:45,705 --> 00:32:47,116
Okay.
754
00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:49,042
All right, let's...
You're not...
755
00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:50,185
Time out.
756
00:32:50,310 --> 00:32:51,711
I'm pressing the time out button.
757
00:32:51,836 --> 00:32:54,114
Okay? You guys barged
in my house.
758
00:32:54,239 --> 00:32:55,390
I pay my taxes.
759
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:56,750
So you're not gonna come here
760
00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:58,860
and treat me like I'm the enemy, okay?
761
00:32:58,985 --> 00:33:00,129
That's the first thing.
762
00:33:00,254 --> 00:33:01,356
Now, if you want to get into facts...
763
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:02,897
You wanna talk about facts?
764
00:33:03,022 --> 00:33:04,191
This is Facebook's fault.
765
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:05,792
He sent me a friend request.
766
00:33:05,917 --> 00:33:07,794
That's how this whole thing started.
767
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:09,271
And you accepted?
768
00:33:09,396 --> 00:33:11,064
Don't do that.
Don't do that to me.
769
00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:14,609
You give me a second. Okay?
Don't fire back like that.
770
00:33:14,734 --> 00:33:17,103
First of all, fuck Mark
Zuckerberg, all right?
771
00:33:17,228 --> 00:33:19,448
Now, I accepted
because it was Facebook.
772
00:33:19,573 --> 00:33:21,016
And it's rude when you don't accept it
773
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,310
and I don't know if
the person on the other end
774
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,618
can see me not accept it.
775
00:33:23,743 --> 00:33:24,611
That's why I accepted.
776
00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:26,680
Are you nervous,
Mr. Joyner?
777
00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:27,822
Is it hot?
778
00:33:27,947 --> 00:33:29,707
Are you getting hot?
Because I'm getting hot.
779
00:33:29,808 --> 00:33:31,251
I'm not gonna take off my jacket
780
00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:33,086
because that makes me look guilty.
781
00:33:33,211 --> 00:33:35,789
And that's what
you guys look for. Hmm?
782
00:33:35,914 --> 00:33:38,425
Is this what a guilty man would do?
783
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:40,702
Look how comfortable I am.
784
00:33:40,827 --> 00:33:42,771
Mr. Joyner,
your friend Bob Stone
785
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:44,039
is a dangerous psychotic.
786
00:33:44,164 --> 00:33:45,232
You're lucky to be alive.
787
00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:46,366
Okay, listen to me.
788
00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:49,303
This man is not, I repeat to you,
789
00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:53,106
he is not, not, my friend!
790
00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:55,617
Zero allegiance.
791
00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:58,920
All right, Mr. Joyner.
Prove it.
792
00:33:59,045 --> 00:34:00,647
Yeah, well, I need a second.
793
00:34:00,772 --> 00:34:03,583
You gotta step outside.
I gotta take a shit.
794
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:04,718
This is a lot.
795
00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:07,721
I got to go.
Just give me a second, man!
796
00:34:07,846 --> 00:34:10,156
I'll be waiting.
Jesus Christ!
797
00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:21,343
All teams be advised,
798
00:34:21,468 --> 00:34:22,911
we're Oscar Mike with the bait.
799
00:34:23,036 --> 00:34:24,871
I'm sorry, did you just
call me "the bait"?
800
00:34:24,996 --> 00:34:26,181
No.
801
00:34:26,306 --> 00:34:27,308
Yeah, you did.
She just called me the bait.
802
00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:28,550
Why am I the bait?
803
00:34:28,675 --> 00:34:30,311
No, that doesn't sound like
something I'd ever say.
804
00:34:30,335 --> 00:34:32,287
You just said it.
What's going on here?
805
00:34:32,412 --> 00:34:34,147
Sir, I'm gonna need you to step aside.
806
00:34:34,272 --> 00:34:36,491
This is a matter of national security.
807
00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:37,826
Yeah, right!
I love it.
808
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:39,471
What is this?
Like a strippergram thing
809
00:34:39,544 --> 00:34:40,562
to suck up to Ethan?
810
00:34:40,687 --> 00:34:42,188
Gotta love strippers.
So dirty.
811
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:44,291
Show us your tits!
Show us your tits!
812
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:47,102
Hey, let's see some titty!
813
00:34:50,288 --> 00:34:52,274
This you?
Yeah, right here.
814
00:34:52,399 --> 00:34:54,200
You did this to yourself.
815
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:00,582
Small.
816
00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:03,017
Yeah.
817
00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:12,319
Calvin Joyner, Accounting.
818
00:35:14,388 --> 00:35:17,166
Hello? Calvin Joyner,
Accounting.
819
00:35:17,291 --> 00:35:18,891
Calvin?
820
00:35:21,595 --> 00:35:23,872
It's Bob! It's Bob!
821
00:35:23,997 --> 00:35:25,231
Act natural.
822
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:27,467
Calvin. Is that you?
823
00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:29,311
Are you there?
824
00:35:29,436 --> 00:35:32,614
Well, hey. Well, yeah.
825
00:35:32,739 --> 00:35:35,150
Yeah, wassup?
826
00:35:35,275 --> 00:35:37,919
What up, Bobby-o?
827
00:35:38,044 --> 00:35:40,222
Are you quite well?
828
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:41,556
I'm in big trouble.
829
00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:43,817
Oh, God! I screwed up.
I screwed up big time.
830
00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:46,195
We gotta talk.
Can you meet me?
831
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,396
Sure. Yeah. Where?
832
00:35:47,521 --> 00:35:49,298
Where do you want me to meet you?
833
00:35:49,423 --> 00:35:51,191
I'm in the stairwell of your
building, two flights down.
834
00:35:51,215 --> 00:35:53,168
Stairwell?
Hurry!
835
00:35:53,293 --> 00:35:55,962
He's in the stairwell, two flights down!
Move, move!
836
00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:57,272
Alert Charlie team.
837
00:35:57,397 --> 00:35:59,040
Hold on. What's going on?
Am I safe here?
838
00:35:59,165 --> 00:36:01,325
As long as Bob Stone is in
the building, no one's safe.
839
00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:03,370
Get back in your office now!
840
00:36:07,907 --> 00:36:08,907
Okay!
841
00:36:08,975 --> 00:36:11,378
Good news is we heard her, guys.
842
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:14,414
So, everybody,
let's all just stay calm.
843
00:36:14,539 --> 00:36:17,050
As long as...
As long... Shit!
844
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:22,121
What the hell is going on?
845
00:36:22,246 --> 00:36:23,565
Relax.
Hey.
846
00:36:23,690 --> 00:36:25,359
Great job at getting
them out of here, Jet.
847
00:36:25,383 --> 00:36:26,601
Oh, Bob!
That's teamwork!
848
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,428
Wait! How did you...
What did you just do?
849
00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:29,996
It's a tradecraft, buddy.
850
00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:31,398
Spoiler alert...
851
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:32,799
I'm in the CIA.
852
00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:34,042
Oh, no shit!
853
00:36:34,167 --> 00:36:35,810
Hey, hey! What're you
doing with my phone?
854
00:36:35,935 --> 00:36:37,538
You about to turn my phone
into a bomb, aren't you?
855
00:36:37,562 --> 00:36:39,706
I've seen Homeland.
So I know what they do.
856
00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:42,409
Homeland? No,
I'm ordering us an Uber.
857
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,886
Six minutes.
That's kinda tight.
858
00:36:45,011 --> 00:36:47,256
I'm gonna need your tie.
859
00:36:47,381 --> 00:36:48,557
You're gonna... No!
860
00:36:48,682 --> 00:36:49,958
Your necktie, take it off. No,
861
00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,643
I'm not taking my tie off!
Come on, Jet!
862
00:36:51,743 --> 00:36:53,295
Don't do that. Don't do that.
863
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:54,689
That's good.
Save it, save it, save it.
864
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,090
Save it, Jet.
Fine, take it, take it.
865
00:36:56,114 --> 00:36:57,824
There we go, just right over here.
866
00:36:57,949 --> 00:36:59,626
You can have it.
Okay, that...
867
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,127
Listen to me. Listen.
868
00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:02,371
Stop. Stop!
869
00:37:02,496 --> 00:37:04,431
I need to know what is
happening, right now.
870
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,566
Okay, okay. You know what?
Moving too fast.
871
00:37:06,691 --> 00:37:10,479
Bottom line, are you in or you out?
872
00:37:10,604 --> 00:37:12,038
What are you...
In or out of what?
873
00:37:12,163 --> 00:37:14,541
Mmm-mmm. No time for
questions, just action.
874
00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:17,051
In or out? Okay, well, then I'm out.
875
00:37:17,176 --> 00:37:19,446
I'm sorry, Jet.
Actually you're already in.
876
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,889
Then why would you ask me?
877
00:37:21,014 --> 00:37:22,857
Because I thought
you would go, "I'm in, Bob!"
878
00:37:22,982 --> 00:37:24,552
And we would've
had a really cool moment,
879
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:26,119
but you kinda ruined the whole thing.
880
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:27,244
I ruined...
881
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:28,397
Okay, okay, okay.
882
00:37:28,522 --> 00:37:29,864
Listen to me right now.
883
00:37:29,989 --> 00:37:31,749
Bob, I don't know what it is
that you're into
884
00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:33,393
but what I do know is that
885
00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:34,961
I am really, really
886
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,372
100% out!
887
00:37:37,497 --> 00:37:38,565
Do you understand that?
888
00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:39,933
God, you are good!
889
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:41,058
What?
890
00:37:41,167 --> 00:37:42,770
Calvin Joyner, president
of the Drama Club
891
00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:43,812
for a reason, folks!
892
00:37:43,937 --> 00:37:45,439
You're like
a snack-size Denzel.
893
00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:47,582
Okay. Stop it,
stop it, stop it.
894
00:37:47,707 --> 00:37:49,250
This is not a game.
895
00:37:49,375 --> 00:37:51,386
I'm being serious right now.
896
00:37:51,511 --> 00:37:53,111
I'm out!
897
00:37:55,348 --> 00:37:56,525
Okay. Okay.
898
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,294
I can't say I'm not disappointed, Jet,
899
00:37:59,419 --> 00:38:00,920
but if you're out, you're out.
900
00:38:01,045 --> 00:38:02,697
Thank you! I'm out!
901
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:05,058
Well, I'm just happy
that we can communicate
902
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:06,635
openly and honestly.
903
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,338
I think it says a lot
about our relationship.
904
00:38:09,463 --> 00:38:12,341
Wait, hold up, wait. What're you doing?
Oh, my God!
905
00:38:12,466 --> 00:38:13,675
Here's the thing, though.
906
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,360
There's only one way
for you to get out.
907
00:38:15,426 --> 00:38:16,478
What's that?
908
00:38:16,603 --> 00:38:18,037
You gotta get in first.
909
00:38:18,162 --> 00:38:19,381
What is it that...
910
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:20,807
What-what!
Take my gun, Jet,
911
00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:22,517
we may have to kill some people.
912
00:38:22,642 --> 00:38:23,744
Come on, it's not gonna bite you.
913
00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:24,953
I will do no such thing.
914
00:38:25,078 --> 00:38:26,078
I think you'll like it.
915
00:38:26,170 --> 00:38:28,381
I will not!
You're gonna need it.
916
00:38:28,506 --> 00:38:31,184
You're gonna need it!
He's in here!
917
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,309
Jet.
918
00:38:32,418 --> 00:38:34,821
He's in there!
Bob's in there!
919
00:38:34,946 --> 00:38:37,832
He's got a gun!
He's got a gun!
920
00:38:39,258 --> 00:38:41,703
Down, down, get down!
Move, move, move!
921
00:38:41,828 --> 00:38:43,330
All right. I'm gonna need
your improv skills.
922
00:38:43,354 --> 00:38:44,354
What?
923
00:38:44,430 --> 00:38:45,965
Hostage role-play,
you ready?
924
00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:46,908
No!
925
00:38:47,033 --> 00:38:48,835
Sweet, let's go.
No, I said no!
926
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,044
I said no!
927
00:38:50,169 --> 00:38:52,414
He's got a hostage!
928
00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:53,548
No!
929
00:38:53,673 --> 00:38:55,742
No! Stop it,
you gonna get me killed!
930
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:58,810
Don't shoot!
931
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,435
There we go, Jet!
932
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,836
Hang tight, Jet! No, I'm
not doing anything!
933
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:24,804
Stop including me in your stuff!
934
00:39:26,105 --> 00:39:28,007
Get him, Agent!
Hit him with the stick!
935
00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:35,181
He got a coffee pot!
936
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:54,199
He got a banana!
937
00:39:58,504 --> 00:40:01,082
Oh! Oh!
938
00:40:01,207 --> 00:40:02,283
Freeze!
939
00:40:13,587 --> 00:40:15,454
Jet, help!
940
00:40:15,579 --> 00:40:17,398
What?
941
00:40:17,523 --> 00:40:19,668
Golden Jet, help.
942
00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:21,393
No, man, I'm not helping you!
943
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:25,440
Oh, shit.
944
00:40:25,565 --> 00:40:26,866
Give me the gun!
Stop it!
945
00:40:26,991 --> 00:40:28,602
Stop resisting!
No, let me go!
946
00:40:32,005 --> 00:40:34,207
Let me go! I'm trying
to give it to you!
947
00:40:37,243 --> 00:40:38,453
Oh, shit!
948
00:40:38,578 --> 00:40:39,858
That was an accident!
Don't move!
949
00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:41,538
No, stop! Listen to me!
950
00:40:44,017 --> 00:40:45,560
Let's go.
951
00:40:45,685 --> 00:40:47,662
Wait, wait! Oh, come on!
What are you... Ah!
952
00:40:47,787 --> 00:40:49,163
Come on, man!
953
00:40:49,288 --> 00:40:51,257
This has gotta stop! Okay?
954
00:40:53,192 --> 00:40:54,792
Shit!
955
00:40:58,689 --> 00:41:00,775
Don't shoot!
956
00:41:00,900 --> 00:41:02,777
Oh, God!
Show us your hands!
957
00:41:02,902 --> 00:41:04,671
Drop your weapon!
Do it now!
958
00:41:13,279 --> 00:41:14,923
Ow.
959
00:41:15,048 --> 00:41:16,057
Sorry, Jet.
960
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:18,259
It's over, Bob. Give up.
961
00:41:18,384 --> 00:41:19,919
You know I can't do that, Pam.
962
00:41:20,044 --> 00:41:22,488
There's nowhere to run, Agent Stone.
963
00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:24,298
Just like Caracas.
964
00:41:24,423 --> 00:41:25,692
Uh, Caracas would've worked
965
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,394
if you trusted me
like Calvin trusts me.
966
00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:29,638
No. No.
967
00:41:29,763 --> 00:41:31,540
That is not true.
I do not trust him!
968
00:41:31,665 --> 00:41:32,732
I do not trust him at all.
969
00:41:32,857 --> 00:41:34,175
As a matter of fact,
970
00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:35,845
this is a perfect time
for us to clear this up
971
00:41:35,869 --> 00:41:36,871
especially in the middle
of this standoff.
972
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:37,704
I shouldn't be here!
973
00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:39,013
So I feel like me being
974
00:41:39,138 --> 00:41:40,440
in the middle of this throws me in it.
975
00:41:40,464 --> 00:41:41,741
So let me exclude myself.
976
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:43,384
Hey, stay down!
Don't move!
977
00:41:43,509 --> 00:41:46,045
Okay, all right.
I'll stay in. I'll stay in.
978
00:41:47,747 --> 00:41:49,357
I got a plan.
979
00:41:49,482 --> 00:41:50,825
Might get us both killed
980
00:41:50,950 --> 00:41:52,652
but if it works, it'll be
a totally boss story.
981
00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:53,676
Cool?
982
00:41:53,753 --> 00:41:55,697
No! No, it's not cool!
Cool.
983
00:41:55,822 --> 00:41:57,023
No, I said it's not cool.
984
00:41:57,148 --> 00:41:58,958
I said it's not cool!
985
00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:00,602
Time's up.
986
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:02,503
You're right, Pam.
987
00:42:02,628 --> 00:42:03,730
My time is up.
988
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:06,775
In three, two,
989
00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:09,210
one.
990
00:42:15,474 --> 00:42:17,686
Bob, Bob, Bob!
991
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:21,055
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
992
00:42:21,180 --> 00:42:22,591
Oh, shit!
993
00:42:22,716 --> 00:42:24,316
Whoo-hoo!
994
00:42:39,332 --> 00:42:40,809
Whoo!
995
00:42:40,934 --> 00:42:42,802
Wow! Did you
feel that, Jet?
996
00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:45,604
That was the balls right there!
997
00:42:50,910 --> 00:42:52,320
Get it off!
998
00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:53,546
You guys order an Uber?
999
00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:57,892
What are you doing?
1000
00:42:58,017 --> 00:42:59,552
You better get your tuchus in the car.
1001
00:42:59,677 --> 00:43:00,686
You're gonna get shot!
1002
00:43:00,811 --> 00:43:01,988
Don't shoot me! Shoot him!
1003
00:43:02,113 --> 00:43:04,432
Shoot him! I'm out!
I'm out! I'm out!
1004
00:43:04,557 --> 00:43:07,060
Let me in! Let me in!
Let me in! Go, Bob!
1005
00:43:11,865 --> 00:43:14,008
Put the word out to all assets.
1006
00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,969
I'm doubling the price on Bob's head.
1007
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:18,212
Hey, what the shit, honey...
1008
00:43:19,438 --> 00:43:21,040
Get Larry on it.
1009
00:43:26,245 --> 00:43:27,588
Car, car, car!
1010
00:43:27,713 --> 00:43:29,323
All right, well,
here's the dilly-o, Jet.
1011
00:43:29,448 --> 00:43:31,217
About three weeks ago,
an enemy of the state
1012
00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:33,227
codenamed "The Black Badger"
1013
00:43:33,352 --> 00:43:35,872
stole the encryption keys to the
entire US spy satellite program
1014
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,331
which he's gonna sell to a buyer
1015
00:43:37,456 --> 00:43:39,293
from that auction site
on your computer last night.
1016
00:43:39,317 --> 00:43:40,201
Bob...
1017
00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:41,903
If we lose control of our satellites,
1018
00:43:42,028 --> 00:43:44,238
we're completely vulnerable
to any terrorist attacks.
1019
00:43:44,363 --> 00:43:46,466
That's why I had to go back to
your office and get you, Jet.
1020
00:43:46,490 --> 00:43:48,242
I need your super sweet
accounting skills
1021
00:43:48,367 --> 00:43:50,369
to help me figure out the
last piece of this puzzle
1022
00:43:50,494 --> 00:43:52,906
which is the transaction
number from the winning bid.
1023
00:43:53,031 --> 00:43:55,172
That'll tell us where
the deal is going down.
1024
00:43:56,776 --> 00:43:59,187
That way, we can get The Black Badger.
1025
00:43:59,312 --> 00:44:00,646
I can't do it without you, Jet.
1026
00:44:00,771 --> 00:44:01,956
Stop the car.
1027
00:44:02,081 --> 00:44:03,917
You stop the car right now!
Stop the car!
1028
00:44:04,042 --> 00:44:05,952
Okay, okay.
That's a great idea, Jet.
1029
00:44:06,077 --> 00:44:07,987
We should get off the grid right now.
1030
00:44:09,022 --> 00:44:10,622
Whoa!
1031
00:44:15,694 --> 00:44:17,997
All right. We're clear.
1032
00:44:23,702 --> 00:44:25,079
Okay.
1033
00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:27,606
Okay. Let's just take
some deep breaths.
1034
00:44:27,731 --> 00:44:29,918
Okay? Deep breaths.
1035
00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:32,486
All you gotta do is get out of this car
1036
00:44:32,611 --> 00:44:34,914
and have a rational
conversation with Bob
1037
00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:36,639
and he'll understand.
1038
00:44:45,091 --> 00:44:48,027
Robert, I would like to
go home now, please.
1039
00:44:48,152 --> 00:44:49,670
Buddy, you and me both.
1040
00:44:49,795 --> 00:44:52,173
But until we clear our names,
there's no going home.
1041
00:44:52,298 --> 00:44:54,675
I'm sorry, can you clarify
that last sentence for me?
1042
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,120
Yeah, well, now that you're in...
1043
00:44:56,227 --> 00:44:58,504
Let me stop you
right there. I'm not in.
1044
00:44:58,629 --> 00:45:00,114
I never said that I was in.
1045
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,084
In fact, I expressly remember
saying that I was out!
1046
00:45:03,209 --> 00:45:04,844
I know, but they think you're in.
1047
00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:06,220
I am...
1048
00:45:06,345 --> 00:45:08,289
I'm freaking out!
I'm out!
1049
00:45:08,414 --> 00:45:10,124
What's left to tell?
Hey, no, I get it.
1050
00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:11,885
I'm not in! I'm just saying
they think you're in.
1051
00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:14,653
I'm not in! I am not in!
I get it.
1052
00:45:14,778 --> 00:45:16,564
I'm not in! I'm out!
1053
00:45:16,689 --> 00:45:19,758
One sec, Jet, just
gotta disable the GPS.
1054
00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:21,069
Where did you...
1055
00:45:21,194 --> 00:45:22,862
You wanna go under...
That's fine!
1056
00:45:22,987 --> 00:45:24,072
Wait a minute.
1057
00:45:24,197 --> 00:45:26,299
You did this on purpose, didn't you?
1058
00:45:26,424 --> 00:45:28,868
This whole thing was done on purpose.
1059
00:45:28,993 --> 00:45:30,636
This is your plan!
1060
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:32,280
You tricked me!
1061
00:45:32,405 --> 00:45:34,849
It's fine, but I know you tricked me.
1062
00:45:34,974 --> 00:45:36,575
Trick you? You tricked... Hey, boy!
1063
00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:37,700
What?
1064
00:45:37,768 --> 00:45:38,987
What'd you just...
1065
00:45:39,112 --> 00:45:40,514
I didn't trick you,
you offered to help me.
1066
00:45:40,538 --> 00:45:42,048
You know what's funny?
Harris told me.
1067
00:45:42,173 --> 00:45:43,457
She told me everything, man.
1068
00:45:43,582 --> 00:45:45,093
She told me that you stole the codes.
1069
00:45:45,218 --> 00:45:46,420
Let me tell you something about Harris.
1070
00:45:46,444 --> 00:45:48,262
You can't trust her, all right?
1071
00:45:48,387 --> 00:45:50,057
She's already trying to frame
me for my partner's murder!
1072
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:51,800
You killed your partner?
No.
1073
00:45:51,925 --> 00:45:52,934
I would never do that.
1074
00:45:53,059 --> 00:45:54,336
The Black Badger killed my partner.
1075
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,729
Let me explain to you something, dude.
1076
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,671
This is what happened.
1077
00:45:57,796 --> 00:46:00,266
After The Black Badger stole the
satellite encryption codes,
1078
00:46:00,391 --> 00:46:04,070
my partner Phil and I tracked
him to a penthouse in Kiev.
1079
00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:05,814
Hey, Phil.
Yeah.
1080
00:46:05,939 --> 00:46:08,216
I'll see you on the other side.
1081
00:46:08,341 --> 00:46:10,143
See you on the other side.
1082
00:46:11,410 --> 00:46:12,821
All right.
1083
00:46:12,946 --> 00:46:14,388
God, I love that guy.
1084
00:46:14,513 --> 00:46:16,113
He knew we were coming,
so he set a trap.
1085
00:46:16,174 --> 00:46:18,384
Hey, Bob! Bob!
1086
00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:19,527
No!
1087
00:46:19,652 --> 00:46:22,763
Phil was my partner, my teammate
1088
00:46:22,888 --> 00:46:23,957
and I couldn't save him.
1089
00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:25,682
No!
1090
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,003
It was awful, Cal.
1091
00:46:29,128 --> 00:46:30,978
It was a setup,
right from the get-go.
1092
00:46:32,365 --> 00:46:33,707
Damn, man.
1093
00:46:33,832 --> 00:46:35,301
The Black Badger was never there.
1094
00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:37,836
I should've been the one
on that elevator, not Phil.
1095
00:46:37,961 --> 00:46:38,980
God.
1096
00:46:39,105 --> 00:46:41,415
Okay. Bob, please...
1097
00:46:41,540 --> 00:46:44,010
I'm begging you, man. Can
you just let me go home?
1098
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:45,486
CJ, I totally understand.
1099
00:46:45,611 --> 00:46:47,513
But right now, Agent
Harris and her taskforce
1100
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,357
has that place surveilled
up the yin-yang.
1101
00:46:49,482 --> 00:46:51,217
She's got contract killers
looking for us.
1102
00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:52,751
Your place isn't safe.
1103
00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:54,428
Oh, my God. Maggie.
1104
00:46:54,553 --> 00:46:57,253
Maggie! What the hell am I
supposed to do about Maggie?
1105
00:46:59,225 --> 00:47:00,825
Get down, Jet!
1106
00:47:09,802 --> 00:47:11,980
Shit! Oh!
1107
00:47:12,105 --> 00:47:13,705
Look out, Bob!
1108
00:47:25,118 --> 00:47:27,820
Who the hell is that?
Who is that? Bob?
1109
00:47:27,945 --> 00:47:29,545
Oh, shit.
1110
00:47:34,493 --> 00:47:36,093
Larry.
1111
00:47:38,564 --> 00:47:39,865
Thought you retired.
1112
00:47:39,990 --> 00:47:41,442
I did.
1113
00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:44,545
But you're worth a lot of
money, Bob, dead or alive.
1114
00:47:44,670 --> 00:47:46,350
Well, tough luck,
because I've got back up.
1115
00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:48,030
Ain't that right, Jet?
1116
00:47:50,543 --> 00:47:52,186
Jet!
1117
00:48:07,993 --> 00:48:09,593
Okay.
1118
00:48:13,666 --> 00:48:16,177
Hey, baby. I know.
I'm sorry I'm late.
1119
00:48:16,302 --> 00:48:18,346
The stupid Koplin deposition ran long.
1120
00:48:18,471 --> 00:48:20,539
I'm leaving right now.
I'll meet you at the house.
1121
00:48:20,664 --> 00:48:21,983
No, no, no!
Don't go home!
1122
00:48:22,108 --> 00:48:23,676
Don't go home!
Why? What's going on?
1123
00:48:23,801 --> 00:48:26,554
Nothing! Nothing.
I'm just running late, too.
1124
00:48:26,679 --> 00:48:30,258
So I was gonna say let's just
meet at Dr. Dan's office.
1125
00:48:30,383 --> 00:48:32,651
Yeah. Okay.
Is everything all right?
1126
00:48:32,776 --> 00:48:34,963
Yeah! Yeah. Why?
1127
00:48:35,088 --> 00:48:36,998
Everything's fine.
1128
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:38,958
Uh, because you kind of sound like
Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
1129
00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:41,202
What?
1130
00:48:41,327 --> 00:48:43,496
That's so funny, babe.
That's such a good reference.
1131
00:48:43,621 --> 00:48:45,464
That's classic Mags right there.
1132
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,376
So, okay. So you're not
gonna go home, right?
1133
00:48:48,501 --> 00:48:49,810
Okay, fine.
I won't go home.
1134
00:48:49,935 --> 00:48:51,604
I'll meet you at Dr. Dan's.
See you soon.
1135
00:48:51,729 --> 00:48:52,838
Okay. All right, bye.
1136
00:48:52,963 --> 00:48:54,563
All right, bye.
1137
00:49:16,862 --> 00:49:18,462
Get in.
1138
00:49:35,348 --> 00:49:38,050
I'm gonna address the elephant
1139
00:49:38,175 --> 00:49:39,185
in the room.
1140
00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:42,530
Okay, first of all, you...
1141
00:49:42,655 --> 00:49:45,533
You guys, I want to say sorry to.
1142
00:49:45,658 --> 00:49:49,528
Because what you're probably
thinking is not what happened.
1143
00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:50,871
Accidents!
1144
00:49:50,996 --> 00:49:52,306
I know you're like,
1145
00:49:52,431 --> 00:49:53,767
"How can you accidentally
pistol-whip somebody
1146
00:49:53,791 --> 00:49:54,791
"and shoot somebody?"
1147
00:49:54,892 --> 00:49:56,202
Well, it can happen.
1148
00:49:56,327 --> 00:49:59,513
Okay? Today is proof
that it can happen. So...
1149
00:49:59,638 --> 00:50:01,982
I'm glad I got to
get that off my chest.
1150
00:50:02,107 --> 00:50:03,942
Relax, Mr. Joyner.
I believe you.
1151
00:50:04,067 --> 00:50:05,719
Okay, thank you.
1152
00:50:05,844 --> 00:50:08,614
Trust me, I know a scared-shitless
civilian when I see one.
1153
00:50:08,739 --> 00:50:10,115
You don't have to convince me.
1154
00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:12,993
You got him over here.
That is me.
1155
00:50:13,118 --> 00:50:15,053
Right now, I'm not comfortable.
1156
00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:16,755
Okay, I am scared, okay?
1157
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,333
I don't have no shit in my system.
1158
00:50:19,458 --> 00:50:21,694
If I sat down on a toilet,
nothing's coming out.
1159
00:50:21,819 --> 00:50:22,928
Farts or just air.
1160
00:50:29,402 --> 00:50:30,669
It'd sound like lasers.
1161
00:50:30,794 --> 00:50:32,613
Thank you for that description.
1162
00:50:32,738 --> 00:50:34,607
Mr. Joyner,
let me explain something.
1163
00:50:34,732 --> 00:50:36,175
Bob's last forced psych eval
1164
00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:39,187
show a person rapidly
losing his grip on reality.
1165
00:50:39,312 --> 00:50:41,189
Bob became obsessed with a ghost,
1166
00:50:41,314 --> 00:50:42,581
a figment of his imagination,
1167
00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:44,383
he started calling,
"The Black Badger."
1168
00:50:44,508 --> 00:50:46,485
This obsession led to an instability,
1169
00:50:46,610 --> 00:50:49,355
first reported by his partner,
Phil, three weeks ago.
1170
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,066
Just before Phil
was killed in the field.
1171
00:50:52,191 --> 00:50:53,634
Do you know how Phil died?
1172
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:56,529
Yeah, uh, Bob told me that
The Black Badger killed him.
1173
00:51:00,666 --> 00:51:02,510
What?
1174
00:51:02,635 --> 00:51:03,677
What?
1175
00:51:03,802 --> 00:51:07,748
Mr. Joyner, Bob Stone
is The Black Badger.
1176
00:51:07,873 --> 00:51:10,684
Phil was Bob's partner of six years.
1177
00:51:10,809 --> 00:51:11,809
His best friend.
1178
00:51:11,910 --> 00:51:12,950
See you on the other side.
1179
00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:15,055
See you on the other side.
1180
00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,657
Hey, Bob!
1181
00:51:16,782 --> 00:51:19,184
After he stole
the satellite encryption codes
1182
00:51:19,309 --> 00:51:20,653
Bob betrayed Phil.
1183
00:51:20,778 --> 00:51:22,230
No!
1184
00:51:22,355 --> 00:51:25,258
He killed him to cover his tracks.
1185
00:51:28,894 --> 00:51:32,206
And, after that, Bob went rogue.
1186
00:51:32,331 --> 00:51:34,300
This is all that's left of Phil.
1187
00:51:37,836 --> 00:51:41,014
Um, this is PornHub.
1188
00:51:41,139 --> 00:51:44,818
Oh, shit, shit,
shit. Sorry.
1189
00:51:44,943 --> 00:51:46,279
There you go.
1190
00:51:46,404 --> 00:51:48,356
Oh! Oh, God!
1191
00:51:48,481 --> 00:51:50,082
Oh, I didn't see that coming.
1192
00:51:50,207 --> 00:51:51,807
Oh, man!
1193
00:51:53,151 --> 00:51:54,231
It's a hell of a way to go.
1194
00:51:54,344 --> 00:51:56,096
Okay, wait a minute.
1195
00:51:56,221 --> 00:51:58,024
Why wouldn't Bob just go sell the
satellite encryption codes himself?
1196
00:51:58,048 --> 00:51:59,826
Because in a black market,
blind-bidding situation
1197
00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,695
the buyer and the seller,
they don't know each other.
1198
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:02,970
They need the auction site
1199
00:52:03,095 --> 00:52:04,297
to tell them exactly where to meet up
1200
00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:06,039
and when to make the exchange.
1201
00:52:06,164 --> 00:52:09,167
The transaction number from the
auction site gives them that,
1202
00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:12,213
which means Bob still needs you.
1203
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,606
Which is why we find ourselves
1204
00:52:13,731 --> 00:52:15,741
in a little catch-and-release
scenario.
1205
00:52:15,866 --> 00:52:18,552
You are the only one Bob trusts.
1206
00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,317
That's why we're
putting you in the field.
1207
00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:23,123
The next time you're with Bob,
1208
00:52:23,248 --> 00:52:24,992
press this button.
1209
00:52:25,117 --> 00:52:26,717
We're going to have him cold.
1210
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:34,527
Now, go take care of your marriage.
1211
00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:37,730
Oh, one more thing.
Don't tell your wife shit.
1212
00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,464
All right.
1213
00:52:41,834 --> 00:52:43,235
I just don't know what's wrong.
1214
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,803
I mean, the man that I married,
1215
00:52:44,928 --> 00:52:46,972
the person I knew in high school,
1216
00:52:47,097 --> 00:52:51,352
he was filled with
drive and desire. I mean...
1217
00:52:51,477 --> 00:52:52,879
We used to sneak off every lunch hour
1218
00:52:52,903 --> 00:52:54,480
and make out under the gym bleachers.
1219
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:56,524
Like, that guy, back then,
1220
00:52:56,649 --> 00:52:57,950
he wanted things, you know?
1221
00:52:58,075 --> 00:52:59,560
Hmm.
1222
00:52:59,685 --> 00:53:01,320
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. I
couldn't find the parking.
1223
00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:03,389
Hi, no, no, it's okay.
We got started without you.
1224
00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:05,766
Babe, Calvin,
this is Dr. Dan.
1225
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:06,934
Hello, Calvin.
1226
00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:09,002
Oh, shit! Oh, jeez. What's the matter?
1227
00:53:09,127 --> 00:53:11,597
Holy shit! Get behind me!
Honey... Calvin, what?
1228
00:53:11,722 --> 00:53:13,907
It's okay, Maggie.
It's okay. Just relax.
1229
00:53:14,032 --> 00:53:16,535
This is a very common reaction
in the therapeutic process.
1230
00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:17,660
It is?
What?
1231
00:53:17,736 --> 00:53:19,146
It is.
It absolutely is.
1232
00:53:19,271 --> 00:53:21,949
Calvin, this is a very safe place.
Please, sit down.
1233
00:53:22,074 --> 00:53:24,077
This is not a safe place! No, no, no.
Honey, it's a...
1234
00:53:24,101 --> 00:53:25,812
No, this is most definitely
not a safe place!
1235
00:53:25,836 --> 00:53:27,680
Me and my wife
are leaving. Let's go.
1236
00:53:27,805 --> 00:53:29,782
No, no, no! You are
going to sit down...
1237
00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:32,885
And we are going to go through
this therapeutic process...
1238
00:53:33,010 --> 00:53:35,396
Yes... together, as a couple.
1239
00:53:35,521 --> 00:53:37,398
Um... Fine, fine, fine.
1240
00:53:37,523 --> 00:53:39,157
Sit down. Thank you.
1241
00:53:39,282 --> 00:53:40,401
Fine.
1242
00:53:40,526 --> 00:53:41,960
Okay, guys.
Why don't we start off
1243
00:53:42,085 --> 00:53:44,262
with a little bit of word association?
1244
00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:45,387
Okay.
1245
00:53:45,498 --> 00:53:46,840
This is exciting.
1246
00:53:46,965 --> 00:53:49,402
I've heard this can really
open a couple up.
1247
00:53:49,527 --> 00:53:52,713
Uh, Maggie, I'm going to
offer you a word,
1248
00:53:52,838 --> 00:53:55,908
and you respond however you're moved to
1249
00:53:56,033 --> 00:53:57,033
from here.
1250
00:53:57,134 --> 00:53:58,134
Okay.
1251
00:53:58,210 --> 00:53:59,512
Black.
White.
1252
00:53:59,637 --> 00:54:01,154
Water.
Ocean.
1253
00:54:01,279 --> 00:54:02,381
Sunshine.
1254
00:54:02,506 --> 00:54:03,857
Happy.
1255
00:54:03,982 --> 00:54:06,794
I'm very impressed, Maggie.
Really?
1256
00:54:06,919 --> 00:54:08,521
You're very in tune.
1257
00:54:08,646 --> 00:54:10,155
I'm very in tune.
1258
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,300
Calvin, you're next.
1259
00:54:12,425 --> 00:54:14,302
I do not want to do this.
1260
00:54:14,427 --> 00:54:17,095
Relax, Calvin.
There are no wrong answers.
1261
00:54:17,220 --> 00:54:18,820
Up.
1262
00:54:19,898 --> 00:54:21,275
Down.
1263
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,010
Mmm.
1264
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,545
"Mmm." What is that?
1265
00:54:24,670 --> 00:54:26,046
What're you writing in your book?
1266
00:54:26,171 --> 00:54:27,849
It's fine. Don't freak out.
Nobody's freaking out.
1267
00:54:27,873 --> 00:54:29,342
I just don't understand
the rules to the game.
1268
00:54:29,366 --> 00:54:30,551
Freaking out.
1269
00:54:30,676 --> 00:54:32,244
Let's switch gears for a second, okay?
1270
00:54:32,369 --> 00:54:36,014
Why don't we try a simple
role-playing exercise?
1271
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:38,016
Calvin, you be Calvin
1272
00:54:38,141 --> 00:54:40,486
and I will become Maggie.
1273
00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:42,763
Mmm.
1274
00:54:42,888 --> 00:54:44,488
I'm confused.
1275
00:54:48,694 --> 00:54:50,563
It's called "soul gazing."
1276
00:54:50,688 --> 00:54:54,775
Stare into my soul
and I'll stare into yours.
1277
00:54:54,900 --> 00:54:56,810
Maggie, this...
Hey. Shh.
1278
00:54:56,935 --> 00:54:59,271
There's no talking,
and don't look away.
1279
00:54:59,396 --> 00:55:01,173
Stare into my soul.
1280
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:02,316
You are not my...
1281
00:55:02,441 --> 00:55:03,809
Shh. There's no talking.
1282
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:05,753
Babe, I'm not staring...
1283
00:55:05,878 --> 00:55:08,889
Me and you.
Stay with me. I'm your wife.
1284
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:10,883
You are not my wife.
1285
00:55:13,351 --> 00:55:15,195
How could you hit your wife?
1286
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:16,589
How can I...
How can I what?
1287
00:55:16,714 --> 00:55:18,332
You hit your wife!
No...
1288
00:55:18,457 --> 00:55:19,492
He hit me!
Okay.
1289
00:55:19,617 --> 00:55:20,859
He hit you!
Okay.
1290
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:22,584
You hit us!
1291
00:55:26,632 --> 00:55:28,467
I'm swaddling you.
I know what you're doing.
1292
00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:30,202
I'm swaddling you.
I know what you're...
1293
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:31,537
Come here.
1294
00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:33,238
Oh, my God!
1295
00:55:33,363 --> 00:55:35,082
You...
1296
00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:38,276
You know what?
We're leaving! Let's go!
1297
00:55:38,401 --> 00:55:40,053
This is not real.
1298
00:55:40,178 --> 00:55:41,622
It's real to me.
1299
00:55:41,747 --> 00:55:42,956
You know what, Calvin?
1300
00:55:43,081 --> 00:55:45,417
If you can't commit
to working on our marriage,
1301
00:55:45,542 --> 00:55:47,252
then you need to let me know.
1302
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:49,287
Maggie, you...
1303
00:55:50,823 --> 00:55:52,533
What!
Oh, my God!
1304
00:55:52,658 --> 00:55:53,992
You're...
Something's not right.
1305
00:55:54,117 --> 00:55:56,904
Come on, Jet, listen.
Come on, come on, Jet!
1306
00:55:57,029 --> 00:55:59,189
Now, I know things got a
little rough there at the end.
1307
00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:00,656
But the truth is, with all the heat
1308
00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:02,011
that you have coming down on you,
1309
00:56:02,059 --> 00:56:04,344
Maggie is definitely safer without you.
1310
00:56:04,469 --> 00:56:06,880
And, trust me, when this
whole thing is said and done
1311
00:56:07,005 --> 00:56:08,750
and you basically save
the entire free world,
1312
00:56:08,774 --> 00:56:09,854
she's going to forgive you.
1313
00:56:09,933 --> 00:56:11,376
It'll all work itself out.
1314
00:56:11,501 --> 00:56:13,286
It'll all work itself out?
1315
00:56:13,411 --> 00:56:15,614
Okay, Bob, you know, I'm sick
of playing games with you.
1316
00:56:15,739 --> 00:56:17,625
Where's the real Dr. Dan?
1317
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:19,226
What-what?
1318
00:56:19,351 --> 00:56:21,962
Oh, my... Dr. Dan, I had
nothing to do with this.
1319
00:56:22,087 --> 00:56:23,657
He's fine. I'll get you
some water in a little bit.
1320
00:56:23,681 --> 00:56:24,681
Thanks, doc.
1321
00:56:24,782 --> 00:56:26,191
You know...
1322
00:56:26,316 --> 00:56:28,260
That's it. That is it.
1323
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:30,062
That is it.
1324
00:56:31,463 --> 00:56:32,840
All right, Jet.
1325
00:56:32,965 --> 00:56:35,175
I see that Harris has
given you a button to push.
1326
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:38,036
Relax, I would've taken the same
deal, too, if I was in your shoes.
1327
00:56:38,161 --> 00:56:40,639
Otherwise, she wouldn't let
you out of her sight, right?
1328
00:56:40,764 --> 00:56:43,083
It makes perfect sense.
1329
00:56:43,208 --> 00:56:46,119
But you're not going to
press the button, right?
1330
00:56:46,244 --> 00:56:49,047
You got the top-secret
satellite codes?
1331
00:56:49,172 --> 00:56:50,323
Yes or no?
1332
00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:52,350
This ain't the time to bullshit me.
1333
00:56:52,475 --> 00:56:53,994
Okay, my ass is sweating.
1334
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:55,588
I'm nervous.
Don't bullshit me!
1335
00:56:55,713 --> 00:56:57,731
Of course not, dude.
Hey, hey, come on!
1336
00:56:57,856 --> 00:56:59,216
Of course, I don't have the codes.
1337
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:00,994
Why would I go through
all this trouble, then?
1338
00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:02,703
I need your skill set, Jet,
1339
00:57:02,828 --> 00:57:05,631
to help me get the bank transaction
numbers to the winning bid.
1340
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,441
We already know it's going down tonight
1341
00:57:07,566 --> 00:57:09,006
from the countdown on your computer.
1342
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:10,811
Now, all we need is
the "where."
1343
00:57:10,936 --> 00:57:12,216
And the bank transaction numbers
1344
00:57:12,295 --> 00:57:13,338
will give us the "where."
1345
00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:14,582
That's why I need you.
1346
00:57:14,707 --> 00:57:16,041
Your job gives you access to
1347
00:57:16,166 --> 00:57:17,918
exactly that kind of information.
1348
00:57:18,043 --> 00:57:20,378
Then we can get The Badger,
we can get the buyer
1349
00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:21,580
in one fell swoop.
1350
00:57:21,705 --> 00:57:23,515
And it'll all be over tonight.
1351
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:24,817
Please, I swear.
1352
00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:26,652
You gotta believe me.
1353
00:57:36,161 --> 00:57:38,405
Can't you just get us
the transaction number?
1354
00:57:38,530 --> 00:57:40,774
Not when the money originates
from an offshore account.
1355
00:57:40,899 --> 00:57:43,636
When that happens, then only a certified
international banking official
1356
00:57:43,660 --> 00:57:44,678
can access it.
1357
00:57:44,803 --> 00:57:46,680
But, it shouldn't be a problem.
1358
00:57:46,805 --> 00:57:48,875
We just give this guy the offshore
account numbers that you gave me,
1359
00:57:48,899 --> 00:57:50,476
then he can give us
the transaction number
1360
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:52,846
without knowing that he's
committing treason when he does it.
1361
00:57:52,870 --> 00:57:54,246
Sound familiar?
1362
00:57:54,371 --> 00:57:56,156
Ouch! Low blow, CJ.
1363
00:57:56,281 --> 00:57:58,483
Hey, besides, it's only
treason if we're wrong.
1364
00:57:58,608 --> 00:58:00,208
Who's this mystery man?
1365
00:58:01,319 --> 00:58:03,030
It's Trevor.
1366
00:58:07,092 --> 00:58:08,692
Trevor.
1367
00:58:10,829 --> 00:58:12,631
This week
just keeps getting better.
1368
00:58:12,756 --> 00:58:14,474
You know, I mean...
1369
00:58:14,599 --> 00:58:17,670
Robbie Wheirdicht and Calvin "The
Golden Jet" Joyner in my office.
1370
00:58:17,795 --> 00:58:19,772
Who would've thunk it?
Not me.
1371
00:58:19,897 --> 00:58:21,715
This is great, huh?
1372
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:23,909
Talk about caterpillar
to the butterfly...
1373
00:58:24,034 --> 00:58:25,978
What is this? P-90-X?
1374
00:58:26,103 --> 00:58:29,214
More like
"P-1,000,000-X," huh?
1375
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,958
Congratulations.
1376
00:58:31,083 --> 00:58:32,660
Hey, I, um...
1377
00:58:32,785 --> 00:58:34,265
I really appreciate the help, Trevor.
1378
00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:36,722
My client's all on me to get
this stuff handled right away.
1379
00:58:36,847 --> 00:58:38,231
So, you know, if we could...
1380
00:58:38,356 --> 00:58:40,134
Say no more. It's my pleasure.
I've been there.
1381
00:58:40,158 --> 00:58:41,895
These international accounts
can be very, very tricky
1382
00:58:41,919 --> 00:58:43,296
if you don't have the right clearances.
1383
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,297
You can get a bunch of
digital red tape.
1384
00:58:45,422 --> 00:58:47,399
I'm happy to help, you know?
1385
00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:48,576
Robbie.
1386
00:58:48,701 --> 00:58:50,301
You're such a blast
from the past, buddy.
1387
00:58:50,402 --> 00:58:51,871
How long has it been since I saw you?
1388
00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,947
Was it high school?
1389
00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:57,484
What's that?
1390
00:58:57,609 --> 00:58:59,609
Um... How we doing
with those account access codes?
1391
00:58:59,644 --> 00:59:00,814
- Are they coming?
- It's coming.
1392
00:59:00,838 --> 00:59:02,823
Everything's good?
It's coming.
1393
00:59:02,948 --> 00:59:04,784
I'm going as fast as I can. I know you
guys are in a rush. I'm so sorry.
1394
00:59:04,808 --> 00:59:06,760
Anything for a couple of
fellow Centaurs.
1395
00:59:06,885 --> 00:59:08,221
Speaking of which, you guys are going
1396
00:59:08,245 --> 00:59:09,888
to the reunion tonight, right?
1397
00:59:11,556 --> 00:59:13,300
No, I don't think so.
1398
00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:14,768
You're both going.
1399
00:59:14,893 --> 00:59:16,573
Here it is. Here's your
transaction number.
1400
00:59:16,653 --> 00:59:18,506
You're both going because
you want to know what?
1401
00:59:18,530 --> 00:59:20,566
They're going to vote on
homecoming king and queen again.
1402
00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:22,350
Maybe you and Maggie
can make it two for two.
1403
00:59:22,459 --> 00:59:24,837
Now, before you go,
stay seated one second.
1404
00:59:24,962 --> 00:59:27,280
Give me two minutes, sit down.
1405
00:59:27,405 --> 00:59:29,382
Men,
1406
00:59:29,507 --> 00:59:30,976
a few years ago...
1407
00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:33,854
I found the Lord Almighty.
1408
00:59:33,979 --> 00:59:35,180
And, ever since then,
1409
00:59:35,305 --> 00:59:38,025
my life has been
completely different. Okay?
1410
00:59:38,150 --> 00:59:40,652
He's got a plan for each
and every one of us
1411
00:59:40,777 --> 00:59:42,721
and, in his infinite wisdom,
1412
00:59:42,846 --> 00:59:45,498
he makes no mistakes. Hmm?
1413
00:59:45,623 --> 00:59:46,867
You're right about that.
1414
00:59:46,992 --> 00:59:48,394
I think the Lord put you here because
1415
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:49,963
he wants me to get
something off my chest.
1416
00:59:49,987 --> 00:59:51,330
He wants me to clear my conscience
1417
00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:53,198
and he wants me to ask for forgiveness.
1418
00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:54,507
Robert.
1419
00:59:54,632 --> 00:59:56,869
What I did to you at that
rally in senior year
1420
00:59:56,994 --> 00:59:58,311
was a cowardly act.
1421
00:59:58,436 --> 01:00:00,973
It's something that I've
regretted every single day.
1422
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:04,109
Yeah. I mean, bullying
is a national crisis.
1423
01:00:04,234 --> 01:00:09,156
It can leave people
with a lifetime of pain.
1424
01:00:09,281 --> 01:00:10,881
So...
1425
01:00:13,952 --> 01:00:18,131
I just want to say how truly sorry I am
1426
01:00:18,256 --> 01:00:20,868
for what happened, you know.
1427
01:00:20,993 --> 01:00:22,535
Or for what I did.
1428
01:00:22,660 --> 01:00:24,129
It didn't just happen.
I did it.
1429
01:00:24,254 --> 01:00:27,199
I did it, and I wish to God
that I had not done it.
1430
01:00:27,324 --> 01:00:30,502
So, I'm hoping that you
can find it in your heart
1431
01:00:31,703 --> 01:00:33,839
to forgive me.
1432
01:00:35,207 --> 01:00:37,517
I wasn't expecting this at all.
1433
01:00:37,642 --> 01:00:39,377
Don't I know it.
I know it.
1434
01:00:40,578 --> 01:00:42,923
I'm just so happy.
1435
01:00:43,048 --> 01:00:45,450
Uh, I don't know what to say.
1436
01:00:45,575 --> 01:00:47,219
How about you say...
1437
01:00:48,620 --> 01:00:52,757
"The Oscar goes
to Trevor Olson."
1438
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:58,030
What do you mean?
1439
01:01:05,703 --> 01:01:07,147
Weird Dick!
1440
01:01:07,272 --> 01:01:08,782
You stupid ass!
1441
01:01:08,907 --> 01:01:10,617
Good God, you're dumb!
1442
01:01:10,742 --> 01:01:12,744
Dumber than ever, I guess!
1443
01:01:12,869 --> 01:01:14,454
And you, too, Calvin!
1444
01:01:14,579 --> 01:01:17,315
Look at that stupid look
on those two faces.
1445
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,318
"The Lord taught me to care."
Unbelievable.
1446
01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:23,831
I'm a Scientologist.
Okay, that's "A."
1447
01:01:23,956 --> 01:01:26,399
And thetan-free since 2003.
1448
01:01:26,524 --> 01:01:27,634
Clear as shit.
1449
01:01:27,759 --> 01:01:29,061
And I'm sorry for what I did?
1450
01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:30,971
Let me tell you what I'm sorry about.
1451
01:01:31,096 --> 01:01:32,932
I'm sorry I didn't toss your naked
ass out there three more times.
1452
01:01:32,956 --> 01:01:34,316
It was the best senior prank ever.
1453
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:35,934
I still get emails about it.
1454
01:01:36,059 --> 01:01:37,845
Know what?
1455
01:01:37,970 --> 01:01:39,872
You're going to regret you ever opened
your mouth. You hear me, Trevor?
1456
01:01:39,896 --> 01:01:41,281
Oh, yeah?
How come, Calvin?
1457
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:43,376
Oh, because he's about to
whoop your ass, that's why.
1458
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,184
Who is?
1459
01:01:44,309 --> 01:01:45,919
Bob, get up and whoop his ass.
1460
01:01:46,044 --> 01:01:47,880
Oh, here she comes!
Let me tell you something...
1461
01:01:47,904 --> 01:01:50,582
Weird Dick can't chug a bunch
of steroids and elk urine
1462
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:52,017
and miraculously be able
1463
01:01:52,142 --> 01:01:54,386
to kick my ass all of a sudden, okay?
1464
01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:55,854
It ain't gonna happen.
1465
01:01:55,979 --> 01:01:57,222
'Cause here's why.
1466
01:01:57,347 --> 01:02:01,434
Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
1467
01:02:01,559 --> 01:02:02,669
Huh? Prove me wrong.
1468
01:02:02,794 --> 01:02:04,794
Bob, come on.
Do what you did in the bar.
1469
01:02:15,140 --> 01:02:17,250
Come on, hit me!
1470
01:02:17,375 --> 01:02:20,145
And I'll sue your ass, and
take your fanny pack away.
1471
01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:23,381
What's the matter with you?
I just want to go.
1472
01:02:23,506 --> 01:02:25,117
She wants to go.
1473
01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:27,761
Go ahead. There you go.
1474
01:02:27,886 --> 01:02:28,996
No, it's a push.
1475
01:02:29,121 --> 01:02:31,264
Boy, 50-50 shot.
You missed that.
1476
01:02:31,389 --> 01:02:32,925
At least you found the handle.
1477
01:02:33,050 --> 01:02:35,335
Boy, he's still a scared little bitch.
1478
01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,995
You know, you're still an asshole.
1479
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:39,807
Yeah, well, you're still
shorter than my cat.
1480
01:02:39,932 --> 01:02:41,533
Here's your transaction number.
1481
01:02:41,658 --> 01:02:43,258
Hit it, Ant-Man.
1482
01:02:44,502 --> 01:02:46,171
Thank you, Trevor.
1483
01:02:46,296 --> 01:02:47,296
Yup.
1484
01:02:47,405 --> 01:02:49,441
Glad to see you haven't changed a bit.
1485
01:02:49,566 --> 01:02:50,417
Bye-bye now.
1486
01:02:50,542 --> 01:02:52,285
Was it push or pull?
Clean push.
1487
01:02:52,410 --> 01:02:53,779
Which one is it? You want
me to do it for you?
1488
01:02:53,803 --> 01:02:55,823
Which one is it?
1489
01:02:55,948 --> 01:02:58,650
Hey, hey, hey!
Goddamn it, Joyner!
1490
01:02:58,775 --> 01:03:00,060
Jenny!
1491
01:03:00,185 --> 01:03:02,955
Jenny, get the Windex!
And security for this one.
1492
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,423
Get your asshole
off my door! That's it!
1493
01:03:06,891 --> 01:03:08,936
Bob! Bob!
1494
01:03:09,061 --> 01:03:11,129
Bob! Bob! Bob!
1495
01:03:17,802 --> 01:03:20,238
Mr. Joyner. Guess who
we're about to arrest
1496
01:03:20,363 --> 01:03:22,474
for conspiracy to commit treason.
1497
01:03:25,077 --> 01:03:27,487
That's right.
Your lovely wife.
1498
01:03:27,612 --> 01:03:29,489
So, here's what you're going to do.
1499
01:03:29,614 --> 01:03:32,025
You're going to tell us exactly
where you and Bob are.
1500
01:03:32,150 --> 01:03:34,953
And then you're going to go outside
and you're going to keep Bob on-site
1501
01:03:34,977 --> 01:03:35,988
until we arrive.
1502
01:03:36,113 --> 01:03:39,057
And if he leaves, you lose.
1503
01:03:39,182 --> 01:03:40,959
Is that clear?
1504
01:03:45,964 --> 01:03:47,207
Oh, hey.
1505
01:03:47,332 --> 01:03:48,800
I don't know what happened in there,
1506
01:03:48,925 --> 01:03:50,068
and I just froze up.
1507
01:03:50,193 --> 01:03:52,379
I locked up. I'm sorry.
1508
01:03:52,504 --> 01:03:53,546
Look, Bob, I, uh...
1509
01:03:53,671 --> 01:03:55,782
No, I gotta tell you
something, CJ, listen.
1510
01:03:55,907 --> 01:03:57,985
You're the only one
who's ever been nice to me,
1511
01:03:58,110 --> 01:03:59,877
the only one who's never laughed at me.
1512
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:03,256
And you're the only one in
this whole world that I trust.
1513
01:04:03,381 --> 01:04:05,550
And I know you have a lot of friends...
1514
01:04:07,986 --> 01:04:09,586
but I don't.
1515
01:04:10,855 --> 01:04:12,624
You're my only friend, Calvin.
1516
01:04:12,749 --> 01:04:15,593
And I will never let you
down again, I promise.
1517
01:04:17,195 --> 01:04:19,031
I'm sorry, man.
1518
01:04:22,567 --> 01:04:23,567
Sorry for what?
1519
01:04:23,660 --> 01:04:26,246
I told Harris where we are.
1520
01:04:26,371 --> 01:04:28,106
They were going to hurt Maggie.
1521
01:04:28,231 --> 01:04:30,675
I had to.
I didn't have a choice.
1522
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:32,352
I'm sorry.
1523
01:04:36,914 --> 01:04:38,916
Freeze, Bob!
Hands on your head!
1524
01:04:39,041 --> 01:04:40,641
Do it now!
1525
01:05:10,415 --> 01:05:12,059
I know you know how this goes,
1526
01:05:12,184 --> 01:05:13,851
so I'll spare you the dramatics.
1527
01:05:13,976 --> 01:05:15,996
I'll ask you just once.
1528
01:05:16,121 --> 01:05:18,490
Where are the satellite
encryption codes?
1529
01:05:21,025 --> 01:05:23,128
Aw. What's the matter, Bob?
1530
01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:26,839
Are you upset that
your friend turned you in?
1531
01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:28,508
I don't have any friends.
1532
01:05:28,633 --> 01:05:30,435
Okay, I don't want to watch this, guys.
1533
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,070
Don't worry, it'll be over quick.
1534
01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:33,613
She always gets them to break.
1535
01:05:33,738 --> 01:05:35,006
Okay.
1536
01:05:35,131 --> 01:05:36,308
You have it your way.
1537
01:05:36,433 --> 01:05:38,243
We're going to
do this old-school.
1538
01:05:46,084 --> 01:05:48,220
Get the extraction tools.
1539
01:05:49,821 --> 01:05:51,764
The extraction tools?
1540
01:05:51,889 --> 01:05:54,767
If you don't have the
stomach for it, you can go.
1541
01:05:54,892 --> 01:05:56,492
Come on.
1542
01:05:58,996 --> 01:06:00,596
Stop recording.
1543
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:11,251
Why am I coming here?
1544
01:06:11,376 --> 01:06:12,545
I was told I'd be able to leave.
1545
01:06:12,569 --> 01:06:13,386
You can leave,
1546
01:06:13,511 --> 01:06:15,113
when Agent Harris says you can leave,
1547
01:06:15,238 --> 01:06:16,548
which might be never.
1548
01:06:16,673 --> 01:06:18,273
I gotta watch this.
1549
01:06:26,249 --> 01:06:28,126
I'm sorry, Bob.
1550
01:06:28,251 --> 01:06:29,851
I'm sorry, man.
1551
01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:44,432
Oh, Jesus!
1552
01:06:51,749 --> 01:06:52,950
What the hell?
1553
01:06:54,186 --> 01:06:56,120
Hey! Hey!
1554
01:06:57,589 --> 01:06:58,765
Don't move!
1555
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:00,925
You get your hands off!
Get them off the keyboard!
1556
01:07:01,050 --> 01:07:03,361
What are you doing, Calvin?
Give me your keycard!
1557
01:07:03,486 --> 01:07:05,572
Give me your keycard!
1558
01:07:05,697 --> 01:07:06,939
Give it to me.
1559
01:07:07,064 --> 01:07:08,166
Okay...
Go sit down.
1560
01:07:08,291 --> 01:07:09,909
Okay. Yeah.
1561
01:07:10,034 --> 01:07:11,311
Sorry. I'm sorry.
1562
01:07:11,436 --> 01:07:13,438
Sit down! Sit down!
Okay, okay, okay.
1563
01:07:15,873 --> 01:07:17,384
You know, Bob?
1564
01:07:17,509 --> 01:07:19,544
This is actually my
favorite part of the job.
1565
01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:21,821
Thank you for being so uncooperative.
1566
01:07:21,946 --> 01:07:23,666
What do you think
your little buddy, Joyner,
1567
01:07:23,706 --> 01:07:25,517
would say if he could
see you like this?
1568
01:07:25,642 --> 01:07:26,718
Two words.
1569
01:07:26,843 --> 01:07:28,728
I'm in.
1570
01:07:28,853 --> 01:07:30,663
What-what?
1571
01:07:30,788 --> 01:07:33,325
You're making
a big mistake, Mr. Joyner.
1572
01:07:33,450 --> 01:07:35,527
That's only if I'm wrong.
1573
01:07:37,195 --> 01:07:38,730
Come on, Bob. Let's go!
1574
01:07:38,855 --> 01:07:40,932
What're you doing?
Come on, man!
1575
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,377
Okay, listen to me.
Bob, I'm sorry.
1576
01:07:44,502 --> 01:07:46,538
I'm sorry I double-crossed you.
You hear me?
1577
01:07:46,663 --> 01:07:47,780
I should've believed you,
1578
01:07:47,905 --> 01:07:49,041
I should've trusted you, and I didn't.
1579
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:50,550
I'm sorry for that.
1580
01:07:50,675 --> 01:07:52,715
Listen to me. Bob, we don't
have time for this, man!
1581
01:07:52,769 --> 01:07:54,821
I need you to tap into
that super-spy stuff
1582
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,849
and I need you to get us the
hell out of here right now.
1583
01:07:56,873 --> 01:07:57,757
Do you hear me?
1584
01:07:57,882 --> 01:07:59,484
Now, come on, man.
We boys?
1585
01:08:01,253 --> 01:08:03,330
We're boys.
Oh!
1586
01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:05,490
Sorry, Jet.
1587
01:08:05,615 --> 01:08:07,134
Oh, God!
1588
01:08:07,259 --> 01:08:08,935
Oh, God!
1589
01:08:09,060 --> 01:08:10,728
See? Good as new.
1590
01:08:11,929 --> 01:08:13,806
Wow. Sorry, man.
1591
01:08:17,769 --> 01:08:18,611
Go, go!
1592
01:08:18,736 --> 01:08:20,204
Get me out!
1593
01:08:20,329 --> 01:08:22,574
He got the jump on us.
Give me the key.
1594
01:08:25,543 --> 01:08:27,887
Look out, Bob!
1595
01:08:28,012 --> 01:08:30,181
Here, Jet! Get him!
1596
01:08:30,306 --> 01:08:31,906
Watch out!
1597
01:08:40,358 --> 01:08:41,693
Did you see that, Bob?
1598
01:08:41,818 --> 01:08:44,095
I did the thing!
I did the thing, Bob!
1599
01:08:44,220 --> 01:08:45,220
Yeah!
1600
01:08:45,321 --> 01:08:47,274
Yeah! Yeah!
1601
01:08:47,399 --> 01:08:48,766
Come on! Follow me!
Let's do it!
1602
01:08:48,891 --> 01:08:51,569
No! What am I doing?
Here! You go! You bigger.
1603
01:08:51,694 --> 01:08:53,505
Okay, okay.
I'm behind you.
1604
01:08:55,139 --> 01:08:56,449
Roger that, base.
1605
01:08:56,574 --> 01:08:57,976
Confirming there's been
a security breach.
1606
01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,819
Oh, my God.
There's two of them.
1607
01:08:59,944 --> 01:09:02,547
Yeah, I'll distract them
and you open the door, okay?
1608
01:09:02,672 --> 01:09:04,215
What? No!
Let's roll.
1609
01:09:04,340 --> 01:09:05,940
No, no.
1610
01:09:07,285 --> 01:09:09,162
Go, go!
1611
01:09:09,287 --> 01:09:10,355
Close in!
1612
01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:11,831
Moving out!
1613
01:09:11,956 --> 01:09:13,691
Freeze, Bob! BOB: Sorry
about this, guys.
1614
01:09:16,628 --> 01:09:18,530
Nope, come here.
1615
01:09:28,340 --> 01:09:29,549
Come on.
1616
01:09:29,674 --> 01:09:32,276
Wrong keycard, pal.
Turn around.
1617
01:09:34,145 --> 01:09:35,347
You needed this one.
1618
01:09:35,472 --> 01:09:36,589
On the ground, now.
1619
01:09:36,714 --> 01:09:38,215
Can I say something first?
1620
01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:40,059
What?
This is going to hurt.
1621
01:09:42,687 --> 01:09:43,967
Hey, get the keycard!
Let's roll.
1622
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:45,613
All right, all right.
1623
01:09:47,592 --> 01:09:49,192
Which car are we taking?
1624
01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:52,129
Not that one.
1625
01:09:52,254 --> 01:09:54,207
Oh. Oh, my God.
1626
01:09:54,332 --> 01:09:57,143
Oh, God. Oh, sh...
1627
01:09:57,268 --> 01:09:58,268
Oh.
1628
01:09:58,370 --> 01:09:59,970
Here we go, Jet.
1629
01:10:01,639 --> 01:10:02,874
Bob, they are shooting at us!
1630
01:10:02,999 --> 01:10:04,275
It's okay, it's bulletproof.
1631
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,000
Drive, drive!
1632
01:10:16,220 --> 01:10:19,031
Here you go, Jet.
1633
01:10:19,156 --> 01:10:20,233
What's this?
1634
01:10:20,358 --> 01:10:22,168
Bug-out bag,
courtesy of the CIA.
1635
01:10:22,293 --> 01:10:24,129
Go ahead and grab that
encrypted phone in there.
1636
01:10:24,153 --> 01:10:25,305
For what?
1637
01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:27,407
You still have
the bank transaction code?
1638
01:10:27,532 --> 01:10:29,735
How are transaction numbers gonna help
us find out where the bad guys are?
1639
01:10:29,759 --> 01:10:32,570
Well, it's not bank transaction
numbers or codes, it's actually...
1640
01:10:32,695 --> 01:10:34,914
Longitude and latitude.
1641
01:10:35,039 --> 01:10:37,942
Look at
the spy brain on the Jet!
1642
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:39,519
What-what!
1643
01:10:39,644 --> 01:10:41,846
You're like a chocolate Google.
1644
01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:43,180
Bob, don't do that.
Stop it.
1645
01:10:43,305 --> 01:10:44,190
Stop it.
1646
01:10:44,315 --> 01:10:46,025
You're getting good at this, man.
1647
01:10:46,150 --> 01:10:48,253
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
It's longitude and latitude.
1648
01:10:48,277 --> 01:10:50,922
All you gotta do is plug those
digits into the GPS, and boom!
1649
01:10:51,047 --> 01:10:53,938
We're gonna catch the buyer and
The Badger, just like that.
1650
01:10:56,819 --> 01:10:58,419
Boston.
1651
01:11:00,932 --> 01:11:02,867
We're gonna need a plane.
1652
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:17,424
You ever steal a plane before?
1653
01:11:17,549 --> 01:11:19,150
I stole some Starbursts one time.
1654
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,627
Mmm-hmm.
1655
01:11:20,752 --> 01:11:22,512
So I don't know if that
compares or anything,
1656
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:23,972
but I wasn't successful with that.
1657
01:11:24,046 --> 01:11:25,398
On the way out, I dropped 'em.
1658
01:11:25,523 --> 01:11:27,000
Dropped the whole bag.
The guy caught me.
1659
01:11:27,024 --> 01:11:28,594
"What's that?"
I just said, "A Starburst."
1660
01:11:28,618 --> 01:11:30,762
Told him myself.
It was a mess.
1661
01:11:33,431 --> 01:11:35,933
Check it out.
The universe provides.
1662
01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:39,769
Oh.
1663
01:11:41,439 --> 01:11:42,439
Golden Jet.
1664
01:11:42,507 --> 01:11:44,107
Golden Jet.
Golden Jet.
1665
01:11:47,712 --> 01:11:49,681
It's just one guard in there.
All right.
1666
01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:51,458
90% of spy work is distraction.
1667
01:11:51,583 --> 01:11:52,785
You get in there
and distract that guard,
1668
01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:54,661
I'm gonna get us a plane.
1669
01:11:54,786 --> 01:11:57,196
What?
1670
01:11:57,321 --> 01:11:59,321
I don't know what the hell you expect...
1671
01:12:01,459 --> 01:12:03,670
Bob!
1672
01:12:03,795 --> 01:12:05,204
Bob!
1673
01:12:05,329 --> 01:12:06,929
Bob!
1674
01:12:07,932 --> 01:12:09,532
Damn it!
1675
01:12:17,108 --> 01:12:19,185
Hey, uh, I need a plane.
1676
01:12:19,310 --> 01:12:22,288
Sir, you cannot be in here.
This is a private airfield.
1677
01:12:22,413 --> 01:12:25,082
I understand that but I have an
organ in this cooler right now
1678
01:12:25,207 --> 01:12:28,027
that needs to get transported ASAP.
1679
01:12:28,152 --> 01:12:29,562
Really?
1680
01:12:29,687 --> 01:12:32,123
Because my sister-in-law had
a heart transplant last year
1681
01:12:32,248 --> 01:12:35,326
and they did not bring it
in a Playmate lunch cooler.
1682
01:12:35,451 --> 01:12:37,294
Well, I hate to break it to you,
1683
01:12:37,419 --> 01:12:39,130
but this is not a, uh...
1684
01:12:40,364 --> 01:12:41,374
This is not a heart.
1685
01:12:41,499 --> 01:12:42,567
Oh, it's not a heart?
1686
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:43,692
No, it's not.
1687
01:12:43,801 --> 01:12:46,112
Hmm. What is it then?
1688
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:47,304
It's a dick.
1689
01:12:47,429 --> 01:12:49,682
Okay.
1690
01:12:49,807 --> 01:12:51,718
I am made of questions right now.
1691
01:12:51,843 --> 01:12:53,144
Well, you don't have to ask.
1692
01:12:53,269 --> 01:12:55,254
Last night, lady got
into it with a man.
1693
01:12:55,379 --> 01:12:56,981
She ended up cutting his pecker off.
1694
01:12:57,106 --> 01:12:59,016
She left with it, got in a car, drove,
1695
01:12:59,141 --> 01:13:01,193
got on 95, threw it out the window.
1696
01:13:01,318 --> 01:13:04,196
The second largest penis
hunt in the state history.
1697
01:13:04,321 --> 01:13:05,921
The man was Korean,
so you better believe
1698
01:13:05,982 --> 01:13:07,700
it took a long time to find.
1699
01:13:07,825 --> 01:13:09,994
You're stereotyping
Korean dicks.
1700
01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:11,119
That's racist.
1701
01:13:11,162 --> 01:13:12,805
I've seen Korean dicks bigger than you.
1702
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:15,066
Okay, sir, we don't need
to demean each other here.
1703
01:13:15,191 --> 01:13:17,268
I don't believe a word you're saying.
1704
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:18,945
Let me see it.
1705
01:13:19,070 --> 01:13:20,938
I have no problem showing you this.
1706
01:13:21,063 --> 01:13:23,975
So if you wanna see it
then get ready to see.
1707
01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:25,109
Here I go.
1708
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,919
Go for it.
1709
01:13:28,145 --> 01:13:29,647
Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
1710
01:13:30,982 --> 01:13:32,817
I'm just kidding.
This is my friend.
1711
01:13:32,942 --> 01:13:33,942
Oh!
1712
01:13:34,051 --> 01:13:36,696
It's my buddy.
His name's Snake Gyllenhaal.
1713
01:13:36,821 --> 01:13:39,023
He guards my lunch.
Okay, that's enough.
1714
01:14:02,580 --> 01:14:04,180
It's gotta be Harris, right?
1715
01:14:05,349 --> 01:14:06,559
What do you mean?
1716
01:14:06,684 --> 01:14:08,153
I mean, she's gotta be
The Black Badger.
1717
01:14:08,177 --> 01:14:09,662
It's the only thing that makes sense.
1718
01:14:09,787 --> 01:14:11,667
I mean, she's had access
to the encryption codes
1719
01:14:11,756 --> 01:14:14,359
and she's so hot and bothered about
pinning this whole thing on you.
1720
01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:15,401
It's gotta be her!
1721
01:14:15,526 --> 01:14:17,003
I don't know, Jet.
1722
01:14:17,128 --> 01:14:19,008
I'm pretty sure she thinks
I'm The Black Badger.
1723
01:14:19,130 --> 01:14:21,241
She worked me over pretty good
in that interrogation room.
1724
01:14:21,265 --> 01:14:22,466
Hold on, wait, wait...
1725
01:14:22,591 --> 01:14:23,876
What's going on?
1726
01:14:24,001 --> 01:14:25,269
What's that? Whoa. Whoa.
1727
01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:26,838
What's going on right now, Bob?
1728
01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:28,940
No biggie.
We're completely outta gas.
1729
01:14:29,065 --> 01:14:31,150
Oh, my... Oh!
1730
01:14:32,543 --> 01:14:34,679
We're going down, Jet!
There's nothing I can do!
1731
01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:36,355
Oh, shit!
1732
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,857
Really quickly...
1733
01:14:37,982 --> 01:14:41,060
What's the one thing you wish
you'd done in your life?
1734
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:42,545
The one thing I wish I hadn't done
1735
01:14:42,620 --> 01:14:43,900
is not get in a plane with a guy
1736
01:14:43,946 --> 01:14:45,765
who didn't check the goddamned fuel!
1737
01:14:45,890 --> 01:14:47,558
Why wouldn't you check the fuel?
1738
01:14:47,683 --> 01:14:49,101
No, something that's real.
1739
01:14:49,226 --> 01:14:51,562
What's the one thing you
regret not doing for you?
1740
01:14:51,687 --> 01:14:53,965
Oh, my God!
I think we're gonna die!
1741
01:14:58,535 --> 01:15:00,813
Not having a kid, man!
1742
01:15:00,938 --> 01:15:02,339
Not being a father!
1743
01:15:02,464 --> 01:15:04,717
I regret not being a father!
1744
01:15:04,842 --> 01:15:06,844
Maggie, I should've gave you a kid!
1745
01:15:06,969 --> 01:15:09,513
I should've gave you my seed, Maggie!
1746
01:15:09,638 --> 01:15:11,123
I should've!
1747
01:15:11,248 --> 01:15:12,458
I'm so selfish!
1748
01:15:13,918 --> 01:15:16,020
I'm sorry, Maggie!
1749
01:15:19,957 --> 01:15:22,401
That wasn't so hard, right? What?
1750
01:15:22,526 --> 01:15:24,161
Hey, just for the record,
1751
01:15:24,286 --> 01:15:26,539
I think you'd make a great dad.
1752
01:15:26,664 --> 01:15:29,141
Did you just fake this whole thing?
1753
01:15:29,266 --> 01:15:30,266
Yeah, kinda.
1754
01:15:30,301 --> 01:15:32,203
Oh, you gotta be shitting me glory!
1755
01:15:32,328 --> 01:15:33,680
No, not at all.
1756
01:15:33,805 --> 01:15:35,974
I just thought that maybe
facing your own death situation
1757
01:15:35,998 --> 01:15:37,416
might help motivate you
1758
01:15:37,541 --> 01:15:39,076
to clarify some of your goals in life.
1759
01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,020
And, hey, between me and you,
1760
01:15:41,145 --> 01:15:43,180
I know you've been
struggling a little bit.
1761
01:15:43,305 --> 01:15:45,683
You know what I'm struggling
with right now, Bob?
1762
01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:47,326
Not whooping your ass.
1763
01:15:47,451 --> 01:15:48,628
Okay, Jet.
1764
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:49,620
Hey, you're really cute when you cry.
1765
01:15:49,745 --> 01:15:51,789
Stop it! Enough!
1766
01:16:05,302 --> 01:16:06,312
I don't get it.
1767
01:16:06,437 --> 01:16:08,037
I mean, if these
coordinates are correct,
1768
01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:09,841
we should be standing
right on top of it.
1769
01:16:09,966 --> 01:16:12,944
Well, the deal doesn't go down
for another 30 minutes, Jet,
1770
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:14,378
so we're kinda early.
1771
01:16:14,503 --> 01:16:15,755
No!
1772
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:17,215
Why would you do it
out in the open like this?
1773
01:16:17,239 --> 01:16:18,916
Why would you take that risk?
1774
01:16:19,041 --> 01:16:20,918
Just doesn't make any sense, man.
1775
01:16:22,319 --> 01:16:24,055
Shit! Come on.
1776
01:16:25,723 --> 01:16:28,167
Wait.
1777
01:16:28,292 --> 01:16:30,394
Oh, wait. It's not happening up here.
1778
01:16:32,029 --> 01:16:33,798
No, it's not. It's...
1779
01:16:36,267 --> 01:16:38,970
Oh, it's happening
beneath us. Look.
1780
01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:41,748
It's an underground parking garage.
1781
01:16:41,873 --> 01:16:43,549
Yeah, that's a good eye, Jet.
1782
01:16:43,674 --> 01:16:46,052
Why don't you stay up here?
Keep overwatch.
1783
01:16:46,177 --> 01:16:47,812
I'll go down there
and check things out.
1784
01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:49,756
Wait, what?
No, I'm going with you.
1785
01:16:49,881 --> 01:16:51,048
Well, you can't go with me.
1786
01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:52,750
The smarter play is if we split up.
1787
01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:54,193
Smarter play for who?
1788
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,320
Do you know what happens
when people split up, Bob?
1789
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:57,329
Somebody dies!
1790
01:16:57,454 --> 01:16:58,898
I'd be the one to die.
You know why?
1791
01:16:59,023 --> 01:17:00,558
Because I don't have a bulletproof vest
1792
01:17:00,582 --> 01:17:01,801
and I don't have a gun!
1793
01:17:01,926 --> 01:17:03,803
Which means that you
are my bulletproof vest!
1794
01:17:03,928 --> 01:17:05,998
My little black ass is gonna stay
behind you, you're not leaving me!
1795
01:17:06,022 --> 01:17:07,765
That's exactly why
you should stay up here.
1796
01:17:07,890 --> 01:17:10,567
Look, if you went down in that
garage and you got shot to death
1797
01:17:10,692 --> 01:17:11,878
you know how hurt I would be?
1798
01:17:12,003 --> 01:17:13,683
I'd be super bummed out!
I don't want that.
1799
01:17:13,762 --> 01:17:15,381
It's safer for you up here.
1800
01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:17,342
If something happened up here,
what am I supposed to do, Bob?
1801
01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:19,643
How do I get your attention?
Make a bird call?
1802
01:17:21,913 --> 01:17:23,956
Does that sound like
a bird to you? Huh?
1803
01:17:24,081 --> 01:17:26,250
That's my biggest weakness!
I can't make bird noises.
1804
01:17:26,375 --> 01:17:27,526
I never could.
1805
01:17:27,651 --> 01:17:29,371
So if that's what I gotta
depend on to live,
1806
01:17:29,478 --> 01:17:30,478
it means I'm gonna die!
1807
01:17:30,579 --> 01:17:32,156
I'mma die up here, by myself
1808
01:17:32,281 --> 01:17:35,192
sounding like
a dead-ass pigeon.
1809
01:17:36,260 --> 01:17:37,661
I have no idea what a pigeon...
1810
01:17:37,786 --> 01:17:38,971
Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet, Jet!
1811
01:17:39,096 --> 01:17:40,840
You don't have to make bird noises.
1812
01:17:40,965 --> 01:17:42,434
You don't have to sound like a pigeon.
1813
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:45,036
All you gotta do is call
me on the encrypted phone
1814
01:17:45,161 --> 01:17:47,171
that's in your hand.
1815
01:17:51,675 --> 01:17:53,219
Okay?
Okay, yeah.
1816
01:17:53,344 --> 01:17:54,879
I'll be right back Okay.
1817
01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:56,413
All right?
1818
01:17:56,538 --> 01:17:58,958
Oh, Jet.
1819
01:17:59,083 --> 01:18:01,560
I'll see you on the other side.
1820
01:18:01,685 --> 01:18:03,029
Yeah.
1821
01:18:03,154 --> 01:18:04,754
Yeah.
1822
01:18:30,047 --> 01:18:31,758
You're early.
1823
01:18:31,883 --> 01:18:33,584
So are you.
1824
01:18:36,053 --> 01:18:37,653
Come on.
1825
01:18:48,132 --> 01:18:49,732
Oh, my God!
1826
01:18:53,470 --> 01:18:55,882
Oh, my God.
1827
01:18:56,007 --> 01:18:57,383
I knew it.
1828
01:18:57,508 --> 01:18:59,676
I knew it. I knew she
was The Black Badger!
1829
01:18:59,801 --> 01:19:01,754
Oh, my God!
1830
01:19:01,879 --> 01:19:04,281
Pick up the phone.
Pick up the phone.
1831
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:05,282
Yello?
1832
01:19:05,407 --> 01:19:08,219
Bob, Harris is The Black Badger!
1833
01:19:08,344 --> 01:19:09,495
Hello?
1834
01:19:09,620 --> 01:19:10,988
Harris is The Black Badger!
1835
01:19:11,113 --> 01:19:12,156
I can't hear you.
1836
01:19:12,281 --> 01:19:14,291
Harris is The Black Badger!
1837
01:19:15,826 --> 01:19:17,938
Just kidding! I'm not here.
Leave a message at the beep.
1838
01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:19,696
What?
1839
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:31,108
Oh. Harris is
The Black Badger!
1840
01:19:31,233 --> 01:19:32,709
Harris is The Black Badger!
1841
01:19:32,834 --> 01:19:35,446
I knew it. I knew it.
Harris is The Black Badger!
1842
01:19:36,580 --> 01:19:38,825
Bob! Harris is The...
1843
01:19:40,342 --> 01:19:41,527
Who is he?
1844
01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:43,252
That's my partner.
1845
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:58,169
I don't like splitting my fees.
1846
01:19:59,736 --> 01:20:03,850
The package. Please.
1847
01:20:03,975 --> 01:20:05,809
Thought you'd never ask.
1848
01:20:05,934 --> 01:20:09,413
Wait! You're making a mistake.
1849
01:20:10,847 --> 01:20:12,616
Hello, Bob.
1850
01:20:14,151 --> 01:20:15,828
But you're dead.
1851
01:20:15,953 --> 01:20:18,664
Not as much as people think.
1852
01:20:18,789 --> 01:20:22,234
Look, he's not The Black Badger...
1853
01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:23,359
I am.
1854
01:20:23,460 --> 01:20:25,662
And those aren't the encryption codes,
1855
01:20:25,787 --> 01:20:27,006
these are.
1856
01:20:27,131 --> 01:20:28,265
He's lying to you.
1857
01:20:28,390 --> 01:20:30,109
This man is a CIA agent,
1858
01:20:30,234 --> 01:20:32,184
and he's trying
to sell you bogus plans.
1859
01:20:39,368 --> 01:20:40,968
Damn.
1860
01:20:42,479 --> 01:20:44,079
Ow, ow.
1861
01:20:47,051 --> 01:20:48,651
He shot me.
1862
01:20:51,989 --> 01:20:54,934
These are the real codes
1863
01:20:55,059 --> 01:20:56,727
and I am the real Black Badger.
1864
01:21:00,497 --> 01:21:02,299
Bob is The Black Badger.
1865
01:21:03,667 --> 01:21:05,069
Bob is The Black Badger.
1866
01:21:05,194 --> 01:21:07,571
I am The Black Badger.
1867
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:09,982
Phil?
1868
01:21:10,107 --> 01:21:12,651
No, I'm The Black Badger.
1869
01:21:12,776 --> 01:21:15,746
I'm starting to think
I might be The Black Badger.
1870
01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:19,691
Here's the thing.
1871
01:21:19,816 --> 01:21:23,896
I have no idea who is
the real Black Badger.
1872
01:21:24,021 --> 01:21:25,764
And I don't care.
1873
01:21:25,889 --> 01:21:27,191
'Cause I'm The Honey Badger.
1874
01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:29,660
And The Honey Badger
doesn't give a shit.
1875
01:21:29,785 --> 01:21:31,195
The Honey Badger's nasty.
1876
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:33,940
He's so nasty, he'll take them both.
1877
01:21:34,065 --> 01:21:35,966
Hand them over.
1878
01:21:36,091 --> 01:21:38,210
Phil, when this thing is over,
1879
01:21:38,335 --> 01:21:39,636
I'm going to rip your throat out
1880
01:21:39,761 --> 01:21:42,348
like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
1881
01:21:42,473 --> 01:21:44,075
Oh, my God.
You and Road House.
1882
01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:45,276
Get over that movie.
1883
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,044
It sucked then, it sucks now.
1884
01:21:47,169 --> 01:21:50,990
The only movie that sucks
more is Sixteen Candles.
1885
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,715
How dare you!
1886
01:21:57,588 --> 01:21:59,223
Drop your weapons!
1887
01:22:04,761 --> 01:22:06,805
Oh! Oh, shit!
1888
01:22:18,041 --> 01:22:19,551
The codes.
1889
01:22:19,676 --> 01:22:21,420
Don't do it.
1890
01:22:21,545 --> 01:22:22,821
Stupid.
1891
01:22:24,948 --> 01:22:26,425
Okay.
1892
01:22:26,550 --> 01:22:28,460
One,
1893
01:22:28,585 --> 01:22:30,762
two,
1894
01:22:30,887 --> 01:22:32,487
three! Shit!
1895
01:22:37,128 --> 01:22:39,596
Uh-oh! Oh!
1896
01:22:39,721 --> 01:22:40,772
No!
1897
01:22:40,897 --> 01:22:42,566
He's got the codes!
1898
01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:18,210
Whoo!
1899
01:23:18,335 --> 01:23:20,079
I mean, this is crazy, right?
1900
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:21,772
You stay the hell away from me, Bob!
1901
01:23:21,897 --> 01:23:23,640
You shot me in the neck!
1902
01:23:26,076 --> 01:23:27,653
Jet!
1903
01:23:48,532 --> 01:23:50,132
Okay.
1904
01:23:53,670 --> 01:23:56,207
Golden Jet for the win!
1905
01:23:57,708 --> 01:23:59,151
No. Shit!
1906
01:23:59,276 --> 01:24:00,876
Drop your weapon, Bob.
1907
01:24:01,945 --> 01:24:02,954
Oh, shit!
1908
01:24:03,079 --> 01:24:05,057
Get behind me,
Mr. Joyner.
1909
01:24:05,182 --> 01:24:06,502
Oh, you don't wanna do that, Jet.
1910
01:24:06,608 --> 01:24:07,808
It's obvious he's the bad guy.
1911
01:24:07,918 --> 01:24:09,558
I'm the good guy.
You wanna get behind me.
1912
01:24:09,645 --> 01:24:11,463
Agent Harris had me go dark
1913
01:24:11,588 --> 01:24:14,700
to get Bob to reveal himself
as The Black Badger.
1914
01:24:14,825 --> 01:24:16,593
You don't seriously
believe this guy, do you?
1915
01:24:16,718 --> 01:24:18,028
You wanna get behind me, Jet.
1916
01:24:18,153 --> 01:24:20,096
You betrayed your nation, Bob.
1917
01:24:20,221 --> 01:24:22,533
You betrayed your partner, Phil.
1918
01:24:22,658 --> 01:24:26,136
Okay, no, wait!
Everybody just stop!
1919
01:24:26,261 --> 01:24:27,513
Cut the shit!
1920
01:24:27,638 --> 01:24:29,640
I'mma cut the line right now!
1921
01:24:29,765 --> 01:24:30,882
I cut the shit!
1922
01:24:31,007 --> 01:24:33,051
Hear me? Now I don't
care who betrayed who.
1923
01:24:33,176 --> 01:24:34,753
Okay? I just don't
wanna get hurt!
1924
01:24:34,878 --> 01:24:36,238
So there ain't
gonna be no... Shit!
1925
01:24:46,390 --> 01:24:47,999
Come on.
1926
01:25:03,674 --> 01:25:05,274
Shi...
1927
01:25:09,045 --> 01:25:10,645
Shit.
1928
01:25:28,632 --> 01:25:30,709
Smart move,
Mr. Joyner.
1929
01:25:30,834 --> 01:25:33,304
You've done your country
a great service.
1930
01:25:33,429 --> 01:25:35,481
Now, hand me the firearm
1931
01:25:35,606 --> 01:25:39,385
and we'll turn over the
satellite codes together.
1932
01:25:39,510 --> 01:25:42,954
Stay right there, man.
Don't you take another step.
1933
01:25:43,079 --> 01:25:45,749
Just because I shot him
does not mean I trust you.
1934
01:25:45,874 --> 01:25:47,351
We don't have time for this.
1935
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:48,685
Stop! I said, "Stop."
1936
01:25:50,987 --> 01:25:52,723
Aw, whoopsie.
1937
01:25:55,626 --> 01:25:59,104
Nice throw, bitch.
1938
01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:05,711
You wanna know why your pal Bob
1939
01:26:05,836 --> 01:26:09,114
could never have been The Black Badger?
1940
01:26:09,239 --> 01:26:11,483
It's because he's too weak.
1941
01:26:11,608 --> 01:26:13,810
And if I had to hear
another goddamned story
1942
01:26:13,935 --> 01:26:17,223
about Calvin "The Golden Jet" Joyner
1943
01:26:17,348 --> 01:26:19,516
and how awesome you were in high school
1944
01:26:19,641 --> 01:26:22,353
and how you were this
big idiot's best friend...
1945
01:26:22,478 --> 01:26:24,988
I was just gonna lose it.
1946
01:26:25,113 --> 01:26:28,592
Looking at you right now,
you don't seem so cool.
1947
01:26:28,717 --> 01:26:32,496
You just seem like a regular guy.
1948
01:26:32,621 --> 01:26:34,706
An everyday Joe.
1949
01:26:34,831 --> 01:26:38,910
You know, faking my own
death was the easy part.
1950
01:26:39,035 --> 01:26:41,438
But dealing with Bob, day after day,
1951
01:26:41,563 --> 01:26:42,973
was the hard part.
1952
01:26:43,098 --> 01:26:44,098
Hey, Phil.
1953
01:26:44,165 --> 01:26:45,784
What, Bob?
1954
01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:48,354
I'll see you on the other side.
1955
01:26:48,479 --> 01:26:51,047
No, I hope
we don't. All right?
1956
01:26:51,172 --> 01:26:52,816
Just no. Bye, bye, bye.
1957
01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:54,125
Just go.
1958
01:26:54,250 --> 01:26:56,595
I made up the Black Badger,
rigged up a blood bag
1959
01:26:56,720 --> 01:26:57,988
and that big dummy bought it.
1960
01:26:58,113 --> 01:26:59,222
Bob!
1961
01:26:59,347 --> 01:27:01,733
No, no!
Hang on, buddy.
1962
01:27:01,858 --> 01:27:03,460
No, there's some sort of bomb in here.
1963
01:27:03,585 --> 01:27:05,496
You're pushing it closed, I think.
1964
01:27:05,621 --> 01:27:06,621
No, no, no. Sorry.
1965
01:27:06,722 --> 01:27:07,998
No, don't give up!
1966
01:27:08,123 --> 01:27:09,675
Bye, Bob.
1967
01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:12,102
I'm getting away with
a half a billion dollars.
1968
01:27:12,227 --> 01:27:16,006
And Boy Scout Bob is gonna
spend his life in prison.
1969
01:27:16,131 --> 01:27:18,284
Ain't America great?
1970
01:27:18,409 --> 01:27:20,519
So now you're gonna be
1971
01:27:20,644 --> 01:27:23,046
the second partner of Bob's to die.
1972
01:27:23,171 --> 01:27:24,171
Just relax.
1973
01:27:24,272 --> 01:27:27,050
On your knees, Golden Jet.
1974
01:27:36,627 --> 01:27:38,429
What the hell was that?
1975
01:27:39,563 --> 01:27:41,540
Golden Jet flip.
1976
01:27:41,665 --> 01:27:44,901
Yeah? Well, you
really suck at it.
1977
01:27:45,026 --> 01:27:46,144
I know.
1978
01:27:46,269 --> 01:27:48,138
Then why'd you do it?
1979
01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:49,339
Distraction.
1980
01:27:53,009 --> 01:27:54,759
Oh, you just pulled his throat out!
1981
01:27:56,847 --> 01:27:58,882
I'll see you on the other side.
1982
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:05,557
Oh, Jet, come here. Give
me your hand, old buddy.
1983
01:28:05,581 --> 01:28:07,357
Oh, shit! Get that
away from me!
1984
01:28:07,482 --> 01:28:09,301
Sorry, Jet.
1985
01:28:09,426 --> 01:28:12,095
Come here, Jet. That was a trachea.
1986
01:28:12,220 --> 01:28:13,572
Great distraction, man!
1987
01:28:13,697 --> 01:28:15,131
Sorry I had to shoot you, Jet.
1988
01:28:15,256 --> 01:28:17,476
It was the only way
I could save your life.
1989
01:28:17,601 --> 01:28:18,903
But when you shot me
to get Phil to confess
1990
01:28:18,927 --> 01:28:20,504
that he was The Black Badger
1991
01:28:20,629 --> 01:28:23,006
that was some
next-level-type shit!
1992
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:26,918
Yeah, no. I'm glad you
see it the way I saw it.
1993
01:28:27,043 --> 01:28:28,987
That was my plan
the whole time. So...
1994
01:28:29,112 --> 01:28:30,922
You are a natural
for this line of work.
1995
01:28:31,047 --> 01:28:32,483
I mean, you're smart,
you got the skill set,
1996
01:28:32,507 --> 01:28:33,759
you're a people person
1997
01:28:33,884 --> 01:28:35,486
and you already got
a dope-ass code name,
1998
01:28:35,611 --> 01:28:37,228
"The Golden Jet!" What?
1999
01:28:37,353 --> 01:28:39,156
But in the meantime, we gotta
get those encryption codes
2000
01:28:39,180 --> 01:28:41,100
over to Harris right away
or we're gonna be late.
2001
01:28:41,216 --> 01:28:43,827
What are you talking about?
Late for what?
2002
01:28:45,395 --> 01:28:50,767
The reunion, dude. What-what!
This shit's on!
2003
01:28:52,536 --> 01:28:55,447
Bob.
Damn it.
2004
01:29:18,194 --> 01:29:19,194
Bob!
2005
01:29:19,295 --> 01:29:20,506
One more thing.
2006
01:29:20,631 --> 01:29:22,191
Thanks for securing
the satellite codes.
2007
01:29:22,257 --> 01:29:23,667
You really saved my ass.
2008
01:29:23,792 --> 01:29:25,301
Your country thanks you.
2009
01:29:25,426 --> 01:29:26,445
Just doing my job.
2010
01:29:26,570 --> 01:29:27,890
I'm really sorry about your hand.
2011
01:29:27,996 --> 01:29:29,506
I hope you know that wasn't personal.
2012
01:29:29,631 --> 01:29:31,517
Oh, no hard feelings
at all, Pam.
2013
01:29:31,642 --> 01:29:33,176
Besides, everybody makes mistakes.
2014
01:29:33,301 --> 01:29:36,021
Calvin, here, thought
you were The Black Badger.
2015
01:29:37,113 --> 01:29:38,424
I don't...
No, I don't think...
2016
01:29:38,549 --> 01:29:39,591
When we were in the plane,
2017
01:29:39,716 --> 01:29:41,018
you said, "Hey, Harris
is the Black..."
2018
01:29:41,042 --> 01:29:42,418
I think you should...
Maybe I...
2019
01:29:44,087 --> 01:29:45,989
Mr. Joyner, it was a
pleasure working with you.
2020
01:29:46,114 --> 01:29:47,591
If you ever want a career change,
2021
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,468
you give me a call.
2022
01:29:49,593 --> 01:29:50,753
If I were to give you a call,
2023
01:29:50,827 --> 01:29:52,187
how would I get in touch with you?
2024
01:29:52,220 --> 01:29:53,764
Just pick up any phone in your house.
2025
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:55,566
They're all bugged.
2026
01:29:56,833 --> 01:29:59,478
You're crazy.
Hey, you're crazy!
2027
01:29:59,603 --> 01:30:00,971
That's a good one.
2028
01:30:01,096 --> 01:30:01,980
Calvin!
2029
01:30:02,105 --> 01:30:03,540
I got your text and came right over.
2030
01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:04,775
Where the hell have you been?
2031
01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:07,277
Why did you get out of a helicopter?
2032
01:30:07,402 --> 01:30:09,079
Hey, uh, Maggie.
2033
01:30:09,204 --> 01:30:10,021
Uh, hi!
2034
01:30:10,146 --> 01:30:12,482
Babe, why
is Dr. Dan with you?
2035
01:30:12,607 --> 01:30:13,959
Well... Uh...
2036
01:30:14,084 --> 01:30:15,494
That's not Dr. Dan.
2037
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,854
Allow me to properly introduce myself.
2038
01:30:17,979 --> 01:30:19,364
My name is Bob Stone,
2039
01:30:19,489 --> 01:30:22,425
the artist formerly known
as Robbie Wheirdicht.
2040
01:30:22,550 --> 01:30:24,135
I work for the CIA.
2041
01:30:24,260 --> 01:30:26,297
I roped your husband into helping
me track down a traitor,
2042
01:30:26,321 --> 01:30:28,732
who was gonna sell military
state secrets to a terrorist.
2043
01:30:28,857 --> 01:30:30,300
We did all that, we stopped them,
2044
01:30:30,425 --> 01:30:32,636
we saved the free world,
and here we are.
2045
01:30:34,537 --> 01:30:35,839
What the hell is going on?
2046
01:30:35,964 --> 01:30:37,683
Okay, listen, listen.
2047
01:30:37,808 --> 01:30:39,785
I've been a fool.
All right?
2048
01:30:39,910 --> 01:30:41,920
I thought that my life was a failure.
2049
01:30:42,045 --> 01:30:43,379
I thought that it wasn't special.
2050
01:30:43,504 --> 01:30:44,623
But it is special.
2051
01:30:44,748 --> 01:30:46,449
It's special because I have you in it.
2052
01:30:46,574 --> 01:30:50,328
You are my world. You are
what makes me special!
2053
01:30:50,453 --> 01:30:52,656
You're everything to me, Mags.
2054
01:30:52,781 --> 01:30:54,566
I love you.
2055
01:30:54,691 --> 01:30:56,291
I love you.
2056
01:31:00,563 --> 01:31:02,541
Okay.
2057
01:31:02,666 --> 01:31:04,543
Here come the waterworks.
2058
01:31:04,668 --> 01:31:06,970
I promised myself I wouldn't do this.
2059
01:31:09,239 --> 01:31:11,642
Come on, come on. Okay.
2060
01:31:14,044 --> 01:31:16,046
That's Robbie Wheirdicht? Yeah.
2061
01:31:38,101 --> 01:31:39,477
Hi, Brian.
Hi, Gail.
2062
01:31:39,602 --> 01:31:41,805
Guys, this isn't a good idea.
You know what?
2063
01:31:41,930 --> 01:31:44,340
I'll just meet you later.
I shouldn't have come.
2064
01:31:44,465 --> 01:31:45,608
Wait, wait, wait.
2065
01:31:45,733 --> 01:31:48,386
Bob, calm down, okay?
Listen to me.
2066
01:31:48,511 --> 01:31:51,281
Tonight is not gonna be how high
school was for you 20 years ago.
2067
01:31:51,406 --> 01:31:52,558
I promise.
2068
01:31:52,683 --> 01:31:55,318
Attention, por favor.
2069
01:31:55,443 --> 01:31:56,728
And now,
2070
01:31:56,853 --> 01:31:59,222
for the moment you've all
been waiting for,
2071
01:31:59,347 --> 01:32:03,935
tonight's vote for the reunion
homecoming king and queen!
2072
01:32:04,060 --> 01:32:06,296
We'll announce the queen in one moment.
2073
01:32:06,421 --> 01:32:08,765
But first, without further ado...
2074
01:32:08,890 --> 01:32:10,542
The new homecoming king
2075
01:32:10,667 --> 01:32:14,746
for the Central High School
Centaurs, Class of 1996 is...
2076
01:32:14,871 --> 01:32:16,339
I really gotta pee, Jet.
2077
01:32:16,464 --> 01:32:17,716
Bob Stone!
2078
01:32:20,376 --> 01:32:21,912
Do we have a Bob Stone?
2079
01:32:22,037 --> 01:32:24,890
Here he is, Bob Stone, huh!
2080
01:32:25,015 --> 01:32:26,925
Yeah!
2081
01:32:27,050 --> 01:32:30,161
Go on, get your
rock-hard ass up there.
2082
01:32:30,286 --> 01:32:31,286
For reals?
2083
01:32:31,354 --> 01:32:33,990
For reals, for reals.
Go ahead, man.
2084
01:32:34,115 --> 01:32:35,266
Whoo!
2085
01:32:35,391 --> 01:32:37,427
You did it, big guy!
2086
01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:45,977
How did Bob Stone win homecoming king?
2087
01:32:46,102 --> 01:32:48,513
I hacked into the votes
on the flight in.
2088
01:32:48,638 --> 01:32:50,606
Calvin Joyner, forensic accountant,
2089
01:32:50,731 --> 01:32:52,608
at your service.
2090
01:32:52,733 --> 01:32:55,553
I had no idea you could do that.
2091
01:32:55,678 --> 01:32:59,557
There's a lot of things that you
don't know about me, Maggie.
2092
01:32:59,682 --> 01:33:00,959
No, scratch that I said that.
2093
01:33:01,084 --> 01:33:02,695
It was supposed to
come out cool. It didn't.
2094
01:33:02,719 --> 01:33:04,421
It was something I thought
of, it was like a...
2095
01:33:04,445 --> 01:33:06,197
Forget it.
2096
01:33:06,322 --> 01:33:08,291
Well, well,
let's hear it for him!
2097
01:33:08,416 --> 01:33:10,235
Fat Robbie made good.
2098
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:12,237
King Robbie Weird Dick,
2099
01:33:12,362 --> 01:33:13,571
our naked mascot.
2100
01:33:13,696 --> 01:33:15,298
Still a scared little bitch.
2101
01:33:19,435 --> 01:33:20,570
I don't like bullies.
2102
01:33:24,240 --> 01:33:26,642
And the name is Bob Stone, bitch!
2103
01:33:26,767 --> 01:33:28,453
Whoo-whoo!
2104
01:33:28,578 --> 01:33:30,178
Come on, baby.
Step over.
2105
01:33:33,683 --> 01:33:35,761
Hi, everybody!
2106
01:33:35,886 --> 01:33:40,231
Most of you knew me back
in high school as, um...
2107
01:33:40,356 --> 01:33:41,867
Robbie Wheirdicht.
2108
01:33:41,992 --> 01:33:43,226
That's Robbie Wheirdicht?
2109
01:33:43,351 --> 01:33:44,351
No way!
2110
01:33:44,427 --> 01:33:46,763
I wore prescription pants every day.
2111
01:33:48,231 --> 01:33:51,609
20 years ago, in this gym,
2112
01:33:51,734 --> 01:33:54,512
I stood in front of you all
2113
01:33:54,637 --> 01:33:56,314
naked
2114
01:33:56,439 --> 01:33:58,684
and embarrassed.
2115
01:33:58,809 --> 01:34:01,753
Some of you might remember that day.
2116
01:34:01,878 --> 01:34:04,856
A lot of you probably even laughed.
2117
01:34:04,981 --> 01:34:07,325
But that's okay.
2118
01:34:07,450 --> 01:34:10,553
Tonight's gonna be different because
2119
01:34:10,678 --> 01:34:13,857
my best friend is here with me.
2120
01:34:15,725 --> 01:34:17,794
And he taught me what it means
2121
01:34:17,919 --> 01:34:21,865
to be the hero of your own story.
2122
01:34:23,166 --> 01:34:25,235
Would you hold this for me, please?
2123
01:34:26,536 --> 01:34:28,604
Being the hero of your own story
2124
01:34:28,729 --> 01:34:33,151
isn't about stopping bad guys
or climbing mountains.
2125
01:34:33,276 --> 01:34:36,379
It's about overcoming
bullies in your life,
2126
01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:40,225
whatever or whomever they may be.
2127
01:34:40,350 --> 01:34:43,862
It's about putting it all out there
2128
01:34:43,987 --> 01:34:46,097
for everyone
2129
01:34:46,222 --> 01:34:47,966
to see.
2130
01:34:48,091 --> 01:34:50,160
And it's realizing that, in life,
2131
01:34:50,285 --> 01:34:53,504
the most important thing
that you can be...
2132
01:34:53,629 --> 01:34:55,540
is yourself.
2133
01:34:55,665 --> 01:34:57,467
So, Central High,
2134
01:34:57,592 --> 01:35:00,779
Class of 1996,
2135
01:35:00,904 --> 01:35:02,280
this is me,
2136
01:35:02,405 --> 01:35:04,140
Robbie Wheirdicht.
2137
01:35:14,985 --> 01:35:17,954
Oh, my God! Bob just went commando!
2138
01:35:19,589 --> 01:35:21,867
Yes! Yes!
2139
01:35:25,628 --> 01:35:28,073
Way to go, Bob!
2140
01:35:28,198 --> 01:35:29,207
Be you!
2141
01:35:29,332 --> 01:35:31,868
Robbie!
Robbie! Robbie!
2142
01:35:31,993 --> 01:35:35,338
Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
2143
01:35:40,510 --> 01:35:41,586
Hey, man!
2144
01:35:41,711 --> 01:35:44,047
Dude, this is amazing!
I'm so happy for you!
2145
01:35:44,172 --> 01:35:45,949
Thank you, Jet!
I feel so free!
2146
01:35:46,074 --> 01:35:47,258
Come here.
2147
01:35:47,383 --> 01:35:49,685
No, no, no. Your junk is out. Huh?
2148
01:35:49,810 --> 01:35:51,221
Oh. Sorry, Jet.
2149
01:35:51,346 --> 01:35:52,946
Excuse me.
2150
01:35:54,824 --> 01:35:56,802
Hi, Robbie.
2151
01:35:56,927 --> 01:35:58,328
You probably don't remember me.
2152
01:35:58,453 --> 01:36:00,205
Darla.
2153
01:36:00,330 --> 01:36:02,732
Is that Darla McGuckian? Yeah.
2154
01:36:02,857 --> 01:36:05,010
Wow! She looks great!
2155
01:36:05,135 --> 01:36:06,869
Didn't she used to have a lazy eye?
2156
01:36:06,994 --> 01:36:08,213
Two of them.
Wow.
2157
01:36:08,338 --> 01:36:10,573
I can't believe you remember me.
2158
01:36:10,698 --> 01:36:12,117
Remember you?
2159
01:36:12,242 --> 01:36:14,185
How could I forget you?
2160
01:36:14,310 --> 01:36:17,047
You still have the same sweet smile,
2161
01:36:17,172 --> 01:36:18,756
the same sweet face.
2162
01:36:18,881 --> 01:36:20,250
But your hair's changed.
2163
01:36:20,375 --> 01:36:23,319
You used to wear it curlier.
I like it though.
2164
01:36:23,444 --> 01:36:25,388
You haven't changed at all.
2165
01:36:25,513 --> 01:36:27,113
Oh, I don't know.
2166
01:36:33,096 --> 01:36:35,198
You're still as beautiful as ever.
2167
01:36:35,323 --> 01:36:36,923
Oh.
2168
01:36:45,375 --> 01:36:48,319
Yeah, Bob!
Go, Bob!
2169
01:36:48,444 --> 01:36:50,521
No, no, no.
2170
01:36:57,053 --> 01:36:59,364
Oh, I got spinny.
2171
01:36:59,489 --> 01:37:01,291
Super spinny.
2172
01:37:03,793 --> 01:37:05,570
Yeah, that's nice.
2173
01:37:07,930 --> 01:37:08,940
That's my jam!
2174
01:37:09,065 --> 01:37:10,166
Go show them what you got.
2175
01:37:10,291 --> 01:37:11,891
All right, Darla.
2176
01:37:15,796 --> 01:37:16,939
Good going, Bob!
2177
01:37:17,064 --> 01:37:18,664
Come on, Bob!
2178
01:37:33,956 --> 01:37:35,600
All right, babe.
Good luck!
2179
01:37:35,725 --> 01:37:36,902
Love you.
I love you.
2180
01:37:37,027 --> 01:37:38,928
I love you, too, little Golden Jet!
2181
01:37:41,664 --> 01:37:42,664
Mmm...
2182
01:37:42,765 --> 01:37:44,575
Okay. Uh...
2183
01:37:44,700 --> 01:37:47,078
How long do you think he's been there?
2184
01:37:47,203 --> 01:37:49,414
Hmm, probably since last night.
2185
01:37:49,539 --> 01:37:51,141
All right, babe, I'll see you later.
2186
01:37:51,266 --> 01:37:53,209
Have fun with your friend!
2187
01:37:58,648 --> 01:37:59,715
Who, me?
2188
01:37:59,840 --> 01:38:01,440
Yes, you.
2189
01:38:10,060 --> 01:38:11,569
Wow, Jet!
2190
01:38:11,694 --> 01:38:13,271
You look amazing!
2191
01:38:13,396 --> 01:38:15,140
Do you think?
Oh, what? Yes!
2192
01:38:15,265 --> 01:38:18,268
I just didn't know the kind of look to
go for on my first day at the agency.
2193
01:38:18,393 --> 01:38:20,445
You look like a black
Will Smith, or something.
2194
01:38:20,570 --> 01:38:23,839
Okay, I'm not sure if that's racist or
not, but I'll take it as a compliment.
2195
01:38:23,964 --> 01:38:25,541
All right, cool.
Yeah, come on!
2196
01:38:25,666 --> 01:38:27,118
Okay.
2197
01:38:27,243 --> 01:38:28,586
All right.
Don't be nervous.
2198
01:38:28,711 --> 01:38:30,613
You are gonna do great.
They're gonna love you!
2199
01:38:30,738 --> 01:38:32,023
Oh, Jet, Jet, Jet!
2200
01:38:32,148 --> 01:38:33,748
Um, before we go, man, uh...
2201
01:38:34,817 --> 01:38:36,962
I got a surprise for you.
2202
01:38:37,087 --> 01:38:39,064
Okay.
What's the surprise?
2203
01:38:39,189 --> 01:38:42,225
Well, you gotta close your eyes first.
2204
01:38:43,626 --> 01:38:44,927
Eyes are closed.
2205
01:38:45,052 --> 01:38:46,652
No peeking.
2206
01:38:51,534 --> 01:38:53,134
Open your eyes.
2207
01:38:56,672 --> 01:38:59,475
Is that my...
Is that my jacket?
2208
01:38:59,600 --> 01:39:00,385
Yes!
2209
01:39:00,510 --> 01:39:02,512
Bob, is that my jacket? Yes!
2210
01:39:02,637 --> 01:39:04,514
No, wait a minute.
Yes!
2211
01:39:04,639 --> 01:39:06,191
Oh, my God!
2212
01:39:06,316 --> 01:39:07,596
Dude, where'd you get this from?
2213
01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:09,018
Well, I sleep in it most nights,
2214
01:39:09,143 --> 01:39:11,254
but it's clean now,
totally good. Yeah!
2215
01:39:11,379 --> 01:39:14,099
Man! You are
the man! Yes!
2216
01:39:14,224 --> 01:39:15,691
Family hug! What?
2217
01:39:15,816 --> 01:39:17,416
Ooh. Okay.
2218
01:39:18,994 --> 01:39:20,330
All right, let's go!
2219
01:39:20,455 --> 01:39:22,273
Okay.
All right.
2220
01:39:36,179 --> 01:39:38,423
You still ride?
2221
01:39:38,548 --> 01:39:41,117
Cut!
The fire department's here.
2222
01:39:41,242 --> 01:39:44,295
All right.
That's our cue, guys!
2223
01:39:44,420 --> 01:39:46,322
Here we are
shooting Central Intelligence.
2224
01:39:46,447 --> 01:39:48,399
They shut us down.
The fire trucks are out here.
2225
01:39:48,524 --> 01:39:50,268
Shut the up! Get
the out my video!
2226
01:39:50,393 --> 01:39:51,695
I'mma slap the dogshit out of you.
2227
01:39:51,719 --> 01:39:53,204
Why do you do your video behind me?
2228
01:39:53,329 --> 01:39:54,765
I'm trying to do my video!
This is my video!
2229
01:39:54,789 --> 01:39:56,466
You're in my video!
I'm pissed off.
2230
01:39:56,591 --> 01:39:59,110
Watch your mouth, I'll slap
the out of you.
2231
01:39:59,235 --> 01:40:00,645
Okay.
2232
01:40:00,770 --> 01:40:02,747
You have it your way.
2233
01:40:02,872 --> 01:40:04,840
You leave me no choice.
2234
01:40:06,041 --> 01:40:07,041
Pam...
2235
01:40:08,311 --> 01:40:09,520
Tickler! Tickler!
2236
01:40:09,645 --> 01:40:13,024
Where are the codes?
Where are the codes?
2237
01:40:13,149 --> 01:40:14,750
It's just nice.
2238
01:40:16,152 --> 01:40:17,762
In here
2239
01:40:17,887 --> 01:40:18,921
and it's kind of all...
2240
01:40:20,147 --> 01:40:21,191
Oh, my God.
2241
01:40:21,316 --> 01:40:23,000
Sorry.
2242
01:40:26,296 --> 01:40:27,705
Can you do both?
Yeah.
2243
01:40:27,830 --> 01:40:29,232
Oh, my God!
2244
01:40:32,168 --> 01:40:34,003
It's called
"soul gazing."
2245
01:40:34,128 --> 01:40:37,948
Stare into my soul,
and I'll stare into yours.
2246
01:40:38,073 --> 01:40:40,009
Come in.
You're not my wife!
2247
01:40:40,134 --> 01:40:41,752
Oh, that's it.
2248
01:40:43,037 --> 01:40:45,323
Bob, I'm gonna...
Shh.
2249
01:40:45,448 --> 01:40:46,882
I promise you'll never...
2250
01:40:48,184 --> 01:40:49,794
Let's keep on, keep on.
2251
01:40:49,919 --> 01:40:51,887
Okay, for real this time.
2252
01:40:52,012 --> 01:40:54,490
It's for real. This is
for real, guys, yeah.
2253
01:40:54,615 --> 01:40:55,833
That's it!
Oh.
2254
01:40:55,958 --> 01:40:57,468
One more. Come on.
2255
01:40:57,593 --> 01:40:58,829
I can't do this, I'm not... Shh.
2256
01:40:58,853 --> 01:41:01,539
- Oh, my God.
- I had it.
2257
01:41:01,664 --> 01:41:02,784
Lock it!
We're professionals.
2258
01:41:02,832 --> 01:41:04,100
This is what we do.
Come on, baby!
2259
01:41:04,124 --> 01:41:05,124
You ready?
2260
01:41:05,235 --> 01:41:06,902
I'm gonna hit you.
I told you!
2261
01:41:10,005 --> 01:41:11,116
Are you not a super tool?
2262
01:41:11,241 --> 01:41:12,309
You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht.
2263
01:41:12,333 --> 01:41:13,518
You're Bob Stone!
2264
01:41:13,643 --> 01:41:15,144
I made that name up.
2265
01:41:15,269 --> 01:41:16,654
So what?
It's not real.
2266
01:41:16,779 --> 01:41:17,779
What does that mean?
2267
01:41:17,838 --> 01:41:20,750
What, you think Mr. T
2268
01:41:20,875 --> 01:41:21,875
and Sting
2269
01:41:21,951 --> 01:41:22,951
and The Rock...
2270
01:41:23,052 --> 01:41:24,387
You think those guys are real?
2271
01:41:24,512 --> 01:41:25,996
That's a bunch of dumb-ass nicknames
2272
01:41:26,121 --> 01:41:27,321
by a bunch of dumb-ass people.
2273
01:47:12,668 --> 01:47:14,268
Fanny!
158395
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