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1
00:01:40,106 --> 00:01:45,509
This is one of them good old villages,
like many others here in the south.
2
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,077
This is the house where I live
ever since I got married.
3
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,084
This is Cristina, the servant.
4
00:01:52,184 --> 00:01:56,756
She flings windows right open:
it's 7 AM and she's got to clean.
5
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,353
All in all, our household
is pretty well set-up.
6
00:02:01,423 --> 00:02:02,923
And this is my wife.
7
00:02:02,993 --> 00:02:05,642
Still asleep, the little thing.
It's no use to wake up at 7,
8
00:02:05,712 --> 00:02:07,960
like chicken do,
or the people in Milan.
9
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:11,900
And this is me, sleeping,
because my job starts at 9.
10
00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:15,458
It is a nice and safe place,
the wages are sufficient.
11
00:02:15,528 --> 00:02:20,982
I was saying, life is good,
can't say my wife if bothersome.
12
00:02:21,595 --> 00:02:26,649
I could say I am a happy man,
if it just weren't..
13
00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:29,071
If it weren't..
14
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,552
That reckless man,
he's racked my nerves!
15
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,762
Same time every morning,
he and his awful screeching.
16
00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:43,239
Criminal!
17
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,432
- Did you call?
- No, I didn't.
18
00:02:46,502 --> 00:02:49,109
- Here's your coffee.
- Oh. The coffee.
19
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,000
- Come on!
- Come on what?
20
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:56,125
Why are you so noisy!? When you're
around, one can't ever sleep. Ever!
21
00:02:56,245 --> 00:03:01,828
So it's my fault now! What about your
brother, the furious madman?
22
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,348
Oh no, not him! Because he's
a grand genius. He is a composer.
23
00:03:07,468 --> 00:03:10,774
Yes, composing.
Don't be so nervous!
24
00:03:10,844 --> 00:03:13,670
You know, he seeks inspiration
in the morning, with a clear head.
25
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,950
- Can't you do like me?
- Like you?
26
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,272
I put some cotton wool in my ears.
27
00:03:20,258 --> 00:03:23,981
Did you hear that?
He's found inspiration already!
28
00:03:24,101 --> 00:03:26,909
Oh, did he?
The bastard!
29
00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:31,790
Kill! I'm going to kill him!
30
00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:37,146
Open up, damn it!
31
00:03:52,119 --> 00:03:53,519
Do, Do, Do, Si..
32
00:03:56,598 --> 00:03:58,080
Sol, Fa, Mi..
33
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:07,868
Will you stop it,
you demented autharchist!
34
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:14,279
- Stop it! It's either you, or me.
- It's a La, not a Mi.
35
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,991
- Stop it!
- Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, Do, Do!
36
00:04:21,821 --> 00:04:24,870
I like this, let's try it
on the 4th chord.
37
00:04:31,548 --> 00:04:34,118
Either you or Mi La Do.
38
00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:46,319
Come in!
39
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,100
- Good day, Mr. Antonio.
- Mister Antonio!
40
00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:54,609
Maestro, how many times
do I have to tell you?
41
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:59,133
- Good day, Mr. Maestro How Many Times.
- Oh, gosh, what is this?
42
00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:03,831
Maestro, Maestro and nothing else!
I am a Mister, but a Maestro foremostly!
43
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,433
Mister and Maestro
are not the same.
44
00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:09,671
After all, you're the sole person
in this house who understands me,
45
00:05:09,741 --> 00:05:13,667
only you appreciate my artistic talent,
my musical genius.
46
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:18,252
- And you will keep appreciating, right?
- Yes, yes of course.
47
00:05:18,523 --> 00:05:23,556
Well, otherwise I'd see myself compelled
to fire you, and I would mind.
48
00:05:23,676 --> 00:05:27,344
If you, on the other hand,
keep up the appreciation..
49
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,400
Know what? I, too,
do appreciate you. Very much!
50
00:05:39,617 --> 00:05:41,836
Dare I say.. come here.
51
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,832
Why shan't we,
one night or another,
52
00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:50,859
try to.. appreciate one another?
53
00:05:52,371 --> 00:05:53,872
You and me.
54
00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:58,636
I'm astonished! And you claim you're
the artist, the spiritual one!
55
00:05:58,756 --> 00:06:04,159
You're right, I'm sorry! I let my flesh,
my instincts carry me away.
56
00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,032
This cursed flesh!
57
00:06:09,057 --> 00:06:11,881
How could I, I'll gouge myself an eye.
Uh, stop right there.
58
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:15,822
I have to think of the opus,
not of mere trifles!
59
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:20,066
- By the way, did I get any letters?
- No.
60
00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:21,764
- Not even from Milan?
- No.
61
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:23,762
- From Tiscordi, the publisher?
- No.
62
00:06:23,882 --> 00:06:25,640
- And Zozzogno?
- Who!?
63
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:30,117
Who? Zozzogno and Tiscordi, publishers
in Milan. Don't you know them?
64
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,335
- I don't.
- Weird.
65
00:06:32,878 --> 00:06:38,145
It all seems weird..
and I wonder why.
66
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,148
Yes, I understand!
67
00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:45,998
Perhaps they will want to come in person.
Oh, yes, in person!
68
00:06:48,105 --> 00:06:51,755
Then I must hurry up
and finish the second part.
69
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:54,251
Weird, what I sent them
was nearly complete.
70
00:06:54,371 --> 00:06:59,156
Let us hurry! Yes, because any
minute now, they might knock at my door,
71
00:06:59,276 --> 00:07:03,423
"Who's there?" "Tiscordi, the publisher"
or "Zozzogno, the publisher"
72
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:06,200
"The Maestro is here."
and I: "Please, have a seat!".
73
00:07:07,387 --> 00:07:11,871
Here, this is my work.
My masterpiece.
74
00:07:13,197 --> 00:07:14,920
I found a name for it already.
75
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,871
It will be called "The Italic Saga".
Magnificent!
76
00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:23,756
This here is the third act, when
Columbus has Helen of Troy kidnapped.
77
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,989
Helen's mother enters the scene and..
Well, never mind.
78
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:31,435
What I need is inspiration..
My sweet, worthy maid,
79
00:07:31,555 --> 00:07:36,561
open the window, nature's themes
are the always best inspiration.
80
00:07:37,414 --> 00:07:40,842
Let me be inspired.
I want to eavesdrop nature.
81
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:45,799
Yes, yes!
82
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,661
Here it comes!
83
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,835
Do, Si diesis,
84
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,758
Re, Fa, quaver,
semiquaver, demisemiquaver..
85
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,560
and a damn in clef!
86
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:23,857
Demisemiquaver it is. A Si.
Si demisemiquaver.
87
00:08:23,977 --> 00:08:25,350
Demisemiquaver Si.
88
00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:35,690
How can one compose in this house!
A hydraulic hygienic downpour!
89
00:08:35,810 --> 00:08:39,917
One cannot create! All you hear is
swearing, boiling pots,
90
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,719
a cow giving birth! What
sort of inspiration is that!?
91
00:08:45,052 --> 00:08:47,015
Well, go and hang yourselves!
92
00:08:48,256 --> 00:08:51,876
They rang! Rang the bell!
This has got to be the publishers.
93
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,908
- Maestro, calm down!
- Must be either Tiscordi, or Zozzogno!
94
00:08:56,447 --> 00:09:02,200
That's enough! Your brother's
been torturing our ears since 5 AM.
95
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,010
- I'm sorry.
- Being sorry won't fix it!
96
00:09:05,228 --> 00:09:10,828
It's either of them! I want them
to find me looking all artsy.
97
00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:18,547
- Oh? You're done now, or what?
- Manners! And keep your hands off.
98
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:22,217
- My grandmother has lithiasis!
- Well, congrats! My uncle's got gout.
99
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:24,480
I've also got a friend with colecistitis.
100
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:28,240
Enough! He's even making fun of us.
He's making fun of us!
101
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,771
My grandfather is ill, we all are!
You wrung my nerves!
102
00:09:33,012 --> 00:09:36,825
Yeah? Hell, he's reduced me
to a matchstick!
103
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:40,057
- Do we have to murder you, or what!?
- Miserable simpletons!
104
00:09:40,177 --> 00:09:45,315
Is this how you reward a man who wastes
his health over books, night and day,
105
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:50,954
for a piece that shall grant prestige
to this negligible village of yours?
106
00:09:53,684 --> 00:09:57,229
Did you forget who I am?
Did you forget who am I?
107
00:09:57,349 --> 00:09:59,137
I am a genius!
Yes, I am!
108
00:09:59,257 --> 00:10:03,604
And there will be a day when,
on this very house, a plaque shall say:
109
00:10:03,724 --> 00:10:09,877
"In this house, Antonio Scannagatti,
the Swan of Caianiello", Caianiello I say,
110
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,441
"in this house, welcomed guest,
he composed his grandiose work."
111
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:17,401
- Wha' is it den?
- Dan?
112
00:10:17,521 --> 00:10:18,691
Wha' is it den?
113
00:10:18,955 --> 00:10:23,106
- Who's Dan?
- Where is it!? The "welcomed guest".
114
00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:27,092
- It's me.
- You? I feed you and..
115
00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:28,924
- Know what you are?
- Watch your mouth.
116
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:32,968
I'm watching my mouth.
You're a scrounger, a leech!
117
00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:36,392
My dear Swan, guess how
this is going to end up?
118
00:10:36,793 --> 00:10:38,370
- A bloody mess!
- A mess?
119
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:44,758
- Because I'll get my gun, and shoot!
- Ha! You make me laugh, you Sicilian!
120
00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:46,838
Did you hear him!?
121
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,959
No, he's right! Either you drop
the cello, or you leave!
122
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,590
- He's right!
- Hear ye? I'm right!
123
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:58,340
- Not you! Him!
- Yes, not him. Me!
124
00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:04,491
Enough is enough, we're fed up!
We lost our peace of mind!
125
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,865
See? Because of you, first we lost
the war, and now we lost the peace!
126
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,618
Don't touch me, I'll call the police!
127
00:11:13,487 --> 00:11:17,009
Dare menace me,
violin in hand?
128
00:11:17,692 --> 00:11:21,280
Well! Very well! I'll leave,
and never set foot again in here.
129
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:25,139
I'd like to know though,
what will the plaque on the house say?
130
00:11:25,259 --> 00:11:28,731
I know!
"No thoroughfare for artists".
131
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,940
or: "Fresh vegetables! Artichokes..
132
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,818
broccoli and cabbageheads!"
133
00:11:35,888 --> 00:11:40,149
- I'll kill him!
- Leave it, you buffoon!
134
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:44,593
I'll never set my foot again
in this damned house.
135
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,327
I will never come back,
not even if they were to kill me!
136
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:57,157
- Thank god.
- At last!
137
00:11:57,277 --> 00:12:01,417
- Oh, and I'll be back for lunch.
- He's back at 1?
138
00:12:01,537 --> 00:12:06,949
Five past one, I will undertake
the violin cure. On his head!
139
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,957
Undulatory AND sussultatory!
140
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,277
- Calm down!
- I'll kill him!
141
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:26,269
- Good morning Mr. Antonio.
- Maestro, if you will.
142
00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:33,881
Scannagatti scrapes and scrapes,
plays trombone, gives the shakes
143
00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:36,277
plays trombone, gives the shakes
144
00:12:36,397 --> 00:12:39,717
- Scannagatti scrapes and scrapes!
- Scoundrels!
145
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,039
Hey! Where'd all this stuff come from?
146
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,313
You know, so many notes in here.
147
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:07,550
How many times do I have to tell you,
a good musician can tell notes,
148
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,715
I mean between true notes, and those..
deposited by horse-flies.
149
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,748
We are, after all, in a cowshed.
And besides..
150
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:21,313
the finale is not like that.
It's like this:
151
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,473
Mi, Re, Do, Mi, Re, Do,
Mi, Re, Do, Fa. Got it?
152
00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:26,888
Mi, Re, Do, Mi, Re, Do,
Mi, Re, Do, Fa.
153
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:29,880
That's a nicer ending, isn't it?
154
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,021
You! How dare you?
How could you?
155
00:14:33,141 --> 00:14:37,541
I have the right to do so! Both as
musician, and citizen of the Republic.
156
00:14:37,661 --> 00:14:41,400
- What does that have to do with it?
- Well, you call that conducting?
157
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,513
- That which you play, is it music?
- You ask me if it is music?
158
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,638
- You tiny, insignificant man!
- Watch your mouth!
159
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,190
You don't even know this is Rossini.
160
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,716
Rossini! You make me laugh.
161
00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:00,238
- Fool! It WAS Rossini.
- Of course, he's dead.
162
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,199
And you made him die
for the second time!
163
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,115
- You.. you..
- Quit mumbling. Could you?
164
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,875
Yes I can! I can understand your envy,
you failed musician!
165
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,192
- Somebody hold me!
- Yes, hold this crazed person!
166
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,036
You're only acting up because
I always refused to play your music.
167
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,670
My music? You're not worthy!
I'll show you!
168
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:28,951
There goes that useless sort.
Squabbling with the bandmaster.
169
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,517
Fend for yourself!
170
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,469
Enough! Tiburzio,
the Mayor wants to see you.
171
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,678
The Mayor!
The Mayor wants to see me!
172
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,959
- Must be April's fool.
- Yeah, whatever. We'll see.
173
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,075
- Who's that?
- Scannagatti.
174
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,367
Oh, the madman!
175
00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:50,756
Run, you blasted ignorant!
176
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,790
Lackey! Sycophant!
177
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,999
If the Mayor's calling you,
it's because you're getting fired!
178
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,435
- No, tomorrow..
- Tomorrow, he'll fire you!
179
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,797
No, tomorrow he has to conduct
the town band in the square.
180
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,999
- Who shall save me from this horror?
- An important person is coming.
181
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,234
It's Joe Pellecchia, the Italo-American
millionaire that was born here.
182
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:17,109
- He'll bring stuff, and cash.
- Oh, the obscenity!
183
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,033
Celebrating a foreign import glory,
184
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,477
whilst the local genius rots
into oblivion. Disgusting!
185
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:29,238
My dear Professor, I am honoured to
bring you news, very good news for you.
186
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:35,396
- You may conduct the band in the square.
- I, the band? My dream, at last!
187
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:40,031
My dream! You have my gratitude, Mayor,
188
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,329
and I promise I won't disappoint.
189
00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:44,830
Oh my!
190
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,997
- My arm!
- What?
191
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:51,280
- I can't move it!
- Maestro!
192
00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:55,359
What happened?
193
00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:59,673
It looks like a paralysis.
Lay him on the sofa.
194
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,555
Maestro, what do you feel?
195
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,478
- My amm!
- What?
196
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,593
- I an't ondut!
- What is he saying?
197
00:17:14,713 --> 00:17:17,687
I will conduct no more!
198
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:23,977
- Gosh, his arm is paralyzed.
- Heavens! What now?
199
00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:26,848
Who's going to direct the band
when Joe Pellecchia gets here?
200
00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:30,109
Illness strikes Maestro Tiburzio.
Who will take his place?
201
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,597
Mr. Antonio Scannagatti.
202
00:17:33,784 --> 00:17:36,070
Maestro if you will, young man.
203
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,232
My dear Maestro, please, have a seat.
204
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,270
I am sorry to bother you at this time
of the day, but it is an urgent matter.
205
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,439
Well, well.
206
00:17:47,949 --> 00:17:49,033
Yes..
207
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:53,273
You already do know town councillor
Rossetti, and councillor Berrini.
208
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,909
- Easy, easy.
- And this is my nephew.
209
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,187
Where?
Did they trip over?
210
00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:04,069
Hello! I am Leopoldo,
Poldo for the acquainted.
211
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:09,110
This is my American fianc�e,
Poppy Winnipeg.
212
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,679
Cheerio!
213
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,520
- What'd she say?
- "Cereals".
214
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,959
Oats!
215
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,034
Did you call me here to
introduce me to these two morons?
216
00:18:20,104 --> 00:18:23,410
No, Maestro, I called you here to talk
about something extremely serious.
217
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,040
No, no, they interest me.
218
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:31,673
I am a psychologist. In addition
to being an artist, a great musician!
219
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,195
Pardon me..
220
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,196
You know, he's absolutely
the seaside kind of guy.
221
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,928
- Why don't we bring him along to Capri?
- Enormous idea!
222
00:18:42,048 --> 00:18:46,996
Come to Capri with us, Maestro!
You can see the stacks from our villa.
223
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,474
Well, your villa is not the only place
where you can see.. the stacks.
224
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,274
Actually, it's about something else.
225
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,035
- Sorry, Maestro, may I..?
- May I also?
226
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:03,991
- I wished to speak to the lady.
- But, you see, it's private property.
227
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,676
- You know, ever since the war ended..
- I understand.
228
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:13,040
Well, Maestro, you probably have heard
your colleague's misfortune.
229
00:19:14,316 --> 00:19:16,387
Don't mention it!
230
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,620
A real pity indeed.
231
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:22,712
Poor Chopin. Dead.
232
00:19:22,847 --> 00:19:24,511
- Chopin?
- Chopin.
233
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,558
No, Maestro Tiburzio.
234
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,032
The poor fella, he'll need
at least a month.
235
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,114
What, Tiburzi a colleague?
Did you call me here to insult me!?
236
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,750
- No!
- You can't compare someone like that!
237
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,634
Please do not misunderstand.
238
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:49,324
If you would be so kind to replace..
239
00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:50,394
WHAT!?
240
00:19:51,104 --> 00:19:53,350
WHAT!
241
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,429
Pardon me, are you an idiot?
242
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,875
You, Mayor, are an idiot!
243
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,271
- But he's the Mayor!
- Well, an idiot Mayor!
244
00:20:02,391 --> 00:20:05,796
And you, you! You just stand there.
Wearing a tie, to top it off.
245
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:11,637
The Mayor insulted me.
Me, a musical genius! Get it?
246
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,830
He's inviting me to conduct
this miserable village band.
247
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,719
Young men, let's face it.
248
00:20:18,902 --> 00:20:23,272
Are you kidding me?
How dare you?
249
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,593
While you're at it, why not invite
Wagner, or Thchaikovsky?
250
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,281
You're taking advantage
because two people ruined me,
251
00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:34,531
or I wouldn't even be here!
Two people did.
252
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:40,796
Toscanini and Carlo Erba. It's their
fault if I am not in Milan, at La Scala.
253
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:44,318
And if I were to,
in the name of liberal democracy,
254
00:20:45,188 --> 00:20:49,720
if I were to conduct this band,
in the name of democracy,
255
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,650
this awful lot you call a band,
256
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:57,511
well, tell me then, Mayor, who is going
to play the trombone, Giuseppe Verdi?
257
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:01,196
And the drums, perhaps
Gaetano will carry them?
258
00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:03,431
- Gaetano?
- Donizetti!
259
00:21:03,551 --> 00:21:06,341
Please! Watch it, before you offend a..
260
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,558
A.. a..
261
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:21,879
- Where are you going? It's still early.
- It is 6. The post should be in.
262
00:21:22,203 --> 00:21:26,018
- Zozzogno or Tiscordi, either one.
- Are you waiting for a letter?
263
00:21:26,088 --> 00:21:27,818
Every day,
for the past 15 years,
264
00:21:27,888 --> 00:21:30,886
unfailingly, I have sent them both
a copy of my work.
265
00:21:31,077 --> 00:21:34,404
- Did they answer?
- On my honour, never!
266
00:21:34,474 --> 00:21:37,154
That doesn't mean a thing, though.
I will wait.
267
00:21:37,224 --> 00:21:42,110
Cattus impatientius
blindum kittenes borne.
268
00:21:42,230 --> 00:21:44,417
Audax fortuna iuvat.
269
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:47,838
- Just a second, Maestro!
- What?
270
00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:50,398
What a coincidence, isn't it, Poppy?
271
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:53,637
The lady here is
Mr. Tiscordi's secretary.
272
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,029
Oh, is she?
273
00:21:58,574 --> 00:22:01,592
- Tiscordi?
- Tiscordi, Tiscordi..
274
00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:07,677
She can certainly obtain you
an enormous recommendation.
275
00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:11,993
So you would be Tiscordi's secretary?
Very interesting.
276
00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:15,632
Which means you are well acquainted
with your employer?
277
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:21,225
- Did you understand?
- Nothing.
278
00:22:21,345 --> 00:22:24,293
I be Tiscordi's best friend.
279
00:22:24,413 --> 00:22:27,034
- They're like buddies.
- I see, I see.
280
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:33,389
Listen, since you're so well acquainted
with Mr. Tiscordi,
281
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,675
wouldn't you do me a favour?
282
00:22:36,795 --> 00:22:41,516
Would you mind bringing my opera
to your employer's attention?
283
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,223
Gladly. When I goes to Milan.
284
00:22:44,343 --> 00:22:46,062
I talk Tiscordi.
285
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,914
- Tiscordi listens.
- Almost buddies!
286
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,954
Muchas gracias, miss.
287
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,233
I very gratefull.
288
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:02,072
I have oral commitment
towards you
289
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,153
a choral commitment..
290
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,340
and you get grosse sofa
for my premiere.
291
00:23:18,694 --> 00:23:20,587
Pais�! Pais�! Miss..
292
00:23:25,876 --> 00:23:27,210
Stop once in a while!
293
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,399
Wait a second, would you? Courtesy
should be repaid in its own coin.
294
00:23:30,469 --> 00:23:36,192
Poppy will help you out, if you conduct
the band to honour Joe Pellecchia.
295
00:23:36,312 --> 00:23:38,271
All right. Conduct the band..
296
00:23:38,391 --> 00:23:41,273
Well then, a dilemma is posited to me.
Oh yes, it is.
297
00:23:42,365 --> 00:23:45,196
- Oh, come on! It's just for tomorrow.
- Do you accept?
298
00:23:45,316 --> 00:23:47,981
- Yes.. and no.
- Oh, just accept!
299
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,395
For somebody like you, it'll be
like child's play. Pretty please?
300
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,400
- Well?
- I waver in indecision.
301
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,986
- Come on, Maestro!
- Let me waver.
302
00:23:57,106 --> 00:23:59,492
If someone's wavering,
he might snap, and then,
303
00:23:59,562 --> 00:24:01,738
then tomorrow it's my fault,
and I don't like it.
304
00:24:03,199 --> 00:24:05,090
- I waver'd.
- Then?
305
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,557
- I accept.
- Very well!
306
00:24:06,627 --> 00:24:08,318
- Just a second.
- What?
307
00:24:09,257 --> 00:24:12,802
Still had a bit of waver left
here in my head.
308
00:24:12,922 --> 00:24:18,356
Well then Maestro, play us something
nice, playful, no American tunes,
309
00:24:18,476 --> 00:24:21,321
because Joe Pellecchia doesn't like
to be reminded of America,
310
00:24:21,391 --> 00:24:26,108
where he got rich.. you get it, right?
By being a bit of a gangster.
311
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:29,318
If he's angered, he can be dangerous.
312
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,312
Leave it to me.
313
00:24:31,432 --> 00:24:36,637
I will conduct my most beautiful piece,
entitled "The stuffed seal".
314
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:21,161
The populace of Caianiello is proud
to have a Maestro conducting the band.
315
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:29,970
- This is all thanks to my nephew.
- What about your nephew?
316
00:25:30,090 --> 00:25:34,432
He made up that his fianc�e
is Tiscordi's secretary.
317
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,351
Here comes Joe!
318
00:25:52,482 --> 00:25:56,585
WELCOME TO CAIANIELLO
319
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,629
Welcome, citizen!
320
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,917
This is my paese,
God damn it!
321
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,233
- Get everyone a gift.
- Citizen, come with me on the balcony!
322
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,597
- Sure. Dollars to everybody!
- Music!
323
00:27:04,923 --> 00:27:07,352
- Speech.
- Very well.
324
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:13,677
I do speech.
You make stop music.
325
00:27:17,485 --> 00:27:19,475
Scannagatti! Scannagatti!!
326
00:28:05,971 --> 00:28:09,390
About time! Fellow villagers..
327
00:28:53,656 --> 00:28:56,983
I am your fratello Joe..
328
00:29:06,197 --> 00:29:08,589
- You mock me?
- No, no!
329
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,497
- My paese mock me!?
- No, no!
330
00:29:25,735 --> 00:29:27,791
You'll see at home!
331
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,353
Take all the gifts back!
All of them!
332
00:29:45,423 --> 00:29:46,505
Go!
333
00:30:08,948 --> 00:30:11,391
You scoundrel!
Stop it!
334
00:30:13,884 --> 00:30:16,327
- I'll have him commit seppuku!
- Mayor!
335
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:30,429
Women, you're a real women
336
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,514
this eyes that you made cry,
I can no longar wondar..
337
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,436
Gardeners, farmers, porters,
labourers, sharecroppers,
338
00:30:39,556 --> 00:30:44,339
peasant's abandoned children,
ploughmen!
339
00:30:44,459 --> 00:30:46,608
- Seay.
- Sorry?
340
00:30:46,728 --> 00:30:48,112
Seay.
341
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,706
- Excusez moi, vous parlez fran�ais?
- No.
342
00:30:53,443 --> 00:30:54,605
- Speak English?
- No.
343
00:30:54,675 --> 00:30:55,703
- Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
- Neither.
344
00:30:55,773 --> 00:30:57,700
Espa�ol? Russian?
345
00:30:57,820 --> 00:31:00,250
Russian? I speak Itelian!
346
00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:03,343
You speak Italian? Well,
by grace, speak Italian then!
347
00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:06,398
- I was seaying, seay!
- You seay?
348
00:31:06,518 --> 00:31:09,345
Oh, you meant say.
I guessed.
349
00:31:09,465 --> 00:31:12,700
- Here I am.
- What's with all de bauld?
350
00:31:13,117 --> 00:31:14,799
Me?
351
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:20,198
Could you repeat?
352
00:31:20,318 --> 00:31:25,076
- What's with all de bauld?
- No bald people with me, I'm alone.
353
00:31:25,346 --> 00:31:30,235
- You know, bauldness.
- Oh, boldness!
354
00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,710
You said bauldness!!
Who's bald, not me!
355
00:31:32,830 --> 00:31:34,932
- Is this the Mayor's villa?
- Yes.
356
00:31:35,002 --> 00:31:37,089
This is the greenhouse,
that the villa.
357
00:31:37,189 --> 00:31:39,972
I'd like to speak to the Mayor
himself, in person.
358
00:31:40,092 --> 00:31:42,419
- With the Mayer?
- No. With the Mayor.
359
00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:46,349
- With the Mayer!
- No, I want the Mayor!
360
00:31:46,469 --> 00:31:52,072
- The Mayer!!
- Don't get mad, peasant! Understood?
361
00:31:52,192 --> 00:31:55,710
Remember that you are a guest,
here in Italy!
362
00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:58,126
I am Itelian,
doan try to be funnay!
363
00:31:58,246 --> 00:32:02,254
Lay me alone,
I have to cleave de jasmeen,
364
00:32:02,374 --> 00:32:06,752
- and de orked..
- Yes, the orks and the fairies.
365
00:32:07,571 --> 00:32:10,694
- It's orchid!
- Anyway, de Mayer is not in.
366
00:32:10,764 --> 00:32:12,527
He isn't?
And where did he go?
367
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,870
After wat appened yesterday,
'e's been ospitalezed.
368
00:32:14,940 --> 00:32:19,334
Ospetalized? Hospitalized.
Yesterday, what happened?
369
00:32:19,454 --> 00:32:23,790
- Oh, I see. That cinch.
- Cinch? It wus de end of the warld!
370
00:32:23,910 --> 00:32:27,802
Don't overdo it, it was nothing,
they exaggerated.
371
00:32:28,589 --> 00:32:32,891
Well then, let me speak with the nephew,
or with that lady, Mrs. Poppy. Poppy.
372
00:32:33,011 --> 00:32:34,533
- The Amerecan?
- Yes.
373
00:32:35,067 --> 00:32:39,106
- They left.
- How is that possible?
374
00:32:39,349 --> 00:32:43,793
She was supposed to phone
to Milan, to Tiscordi on my behalf.
375
00:32:44,564 --> 00:32:48,678
- Did they both leave?
- Boat leave? No, by taxi.
376
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:53,686
No, not the taxi! Did they both leave,
I meant the two of them.
377
00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:55,552
They must've gone by foot.
378
00:32:55,628 --> 00:32:57,726
- And where did they go?
- To crap.
379
00:32:58,005 --> 00:32:59,345
What!?
380
00:32:59,606 --> 00:33:02,299
- Crap!
- Crap on you and your ancestors!
381
00:33:02,419 --> 00:33:06,030
You foul beast! How dare you, boor?
382
00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:09,556
I am a gentleman, a musician, a genius!
383
00:33:09,676 --> 00:33:15,318
- Julius or Nicholas, I don gie a damn.
- A genius, not Julius!
384
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,288
I sead they lef for the Islan of Crap.
385
00:33:18,358 --> 00:33:21,330
Oh.. Capri, the island!
386
00:33:21,712 --> 00:33:25,070
- I want to cut that tongue of yours!
- Lay aff!
387
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,393
They went to Capri, but I could
catch up with them, oh I could.
388
00:33:29,513 --> 00:33:31,710
Who is going to stop me? Nobody!
The time?
389
00:33:31,830 --> 00:33:35,049
- Oh yes, it's bits past bobs.
- Minus a quarter.
390
00:33:35,169 --> 00:33:36,760
- I'm going.
- Wha ya 'eadin?
391
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:41,973
Where?! I'm going to Crap, or
Capri, the mermaids' island!
392
00:33:42,093 --> 00:33:45,320
Marina piccola, Marina Grande,
the Unghia Marina!
393
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:46,873
You cod!
394
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,095
Yes? Maria Giorgia, so good to hear you!
395
00:34:10,343 --> 00:34:14,234
Sweetie beanie, where were you hiding?
Balearic islands?
396
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,881
Oh, weally, and how are
the savages, are they nice?
397
00:34:18,055 --> 00:34:20,555
Yes? Oh, cuuuute.
398
00:34:21,219 --> 00:34:25,010
Listen delicious, why don't you take the
long way round and drop by?
399
00:34:25,561 --> 00:34:28,358
What, are you tired?
400
00:34:28,551 --> 00:34:33,628
I'll have a nice hot bath ready for you.
Finnish shower included, of course.
401
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:39,097
Our big bad boys here will handle
the birch bough whipping. Are you in?
402
00:34:39,354 --> 00:34:40,960
Yes! Excellent, you delicious.
403
00:34:41,233 --> 00:34:43,157
Yes, joy.
404
00:34:43,703 --> 00:34:47,189
Yeah, I'm in the same old
fatherly dwelling as usual.
405
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:53,196
It's a quiet, run of the mill thing.
Nothing of the unusual sort.
406
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,989
Patrizia's here.
She's a rather swish girl,
407
00:34:57,109 --> 00:35:00,707
you know, she's not noble,
but she's got a Scottish dog.
408
00:35:00,827 --> 00:35:05,950
Oh and looky, there goes Poppy
trying to keep her malleoli in shape.
409
00:35:06,070 --> 00:35:11,155
She's ultra-engaged with the Poldo,
who's busy pestering another girl.
410
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,192
Well I say, she's having
a jolly good time!
411
00:35:15,833 --> 00:35:19,356
Oh, and by the by,
we've got this French duder!
412
00:35:19,476 --> 00:35:23,195
They sent him in from Cap d'Antibes,
he's totally, like, Napoleon-style.
413
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:28,600
He's such a simple chap, he dresses
in the most indisturbing fashion.
414
00:35:29,539 --> 00:35:33,635
I feel like somebody's about to play
a trick on me. Oh, you meanie!
415
00:35:33,755 --> 00:35:36,958
Yes, my patapouf,
I'll put him through.
416
00:35:37,078 --> 00:35:41,079
- Here, say hello to Maria Giorgia.
- Moo.
417
00:35:41,199 --> 00:35:43,595
The air here is really good.
418
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,757
Yeah, you keep making plans,
but what you don't really know
419
00:35:49,877 --> 00:35:53,993
is that Giulia Sofia is about
to throw us all out.
420
00:35:54,113 --> 00:35:55,912
- No!
- Yes, yes she is.
421
00:35:56,032 --> 00:36:00,233
The only thing holding that paranoid
woman here, is her love for Toffy.
422
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,313
You weally, weally, weally hadn't to!
423
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:08,510
- There. See?
- Not the cow on the telephone!
424
00:36:08,630 --> 00:36:12,469
Oh, come on, you go wild when I
do the farm repertory on the phone.
425
00:36:12,589 --> 00:36:17,032
But it's different, this is Maria
Giorgia! You know they're cheese-makers.
426
00:36:17,152 --> 00:36:20,697
His father might be offended.
427
00:36:20,817 --> 00:36:26,831
Besides I'm absolutely knackered.
I can't take it anymore, I'm leaving!
428
00:36:26,951 --> 00:36:29,111
What, no! You're leaving?!
429
00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:34,195
- 'cause of you, I always end up alone!
- Oh bother, I even left you Priscilla!
430
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,034
Priscilla! Priscilla is a motorboat.
431
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,350
Oh, Giulia Sofia,
it really cannot be!
432
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,115
Oh, I have decided.
I'm tired of saltwater and Faraglioni,
433
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:48,136
I want Dolomiti,
alpine men, and grappa.
434
00:36:54,977 --> 00:36:57,160
What's this new idea of yours?
435
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:02,008
We must absolutely find Giulia Sofia
a new boyfriend, pronto.
436
00:37:02,128 --> 00:37:05,756
A man for whom she can fall instantly,
a coup de foudre!
437
00:37:05,876 --> 00:37:10,039
Enormous idea!
That'll grant our stay here.
438
00:37:10,159 --> 00:37:15,320
But how? She's been with everybody on
the island! Kiki, Foffo, Pimpi, Dado..
439
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,750
Oh, we're ought to
find another man, let's go.
440
00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:20,900
But where?
441
00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:28,047
- Oh! How are you, Miss?
- What did you come here for?
442
00:37:28,167 --> 00:37:32,689
What for? Did you forget? My opera
needs recommending to Tiscordi!
443
00:37:32,809 --> 00:37:36,404
Oh right.. but we have to leave now.
444
00:37:36,524 --> 00:37:40,109
And you, who dressed you up like this?
Is it carnival already?
445
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:44,313
Look at him, he's even got the bell!
I pull, he'll ring.
446
00:37:44,433 --> 00:37:47,999
Dingdong!
..wait, stop it!
447
00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:50,914
I have to go now.
448
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:55,195
Believe me, the more I look at you,
the more I die of laughter.
449
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:59,752
All dressed up like that.
You even got the deathly skull!
450
00:37:59,872 --> 00:38:04,312
My dear, don't you think he's just
perfect for our case?
451
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,869
Him? With the face he's got?
452
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:12,031
So, we're leaving for the mountain now,
get the baby ready.
453
00:38:12,151 --> 00:38:16,393
Wrap him up properly, because it's cold
there and he's rather susceptible.
454
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:22,550
Coochy coo, you and mommy are leaving,
you'll find many friends and have funloads!
455
00:38:23,514 --> 00:38:26,989
Please be quick about it,
I want to leave right away.
456
00:38:28,533 --> 00:38:32,794
Boys, I'm enormously ready, get up on
your feet, we're jumping ship.
457
00:38:33,126 --> 00:38:37,553
- No, I'm sorry, I'm decided. I leave.
- No!
458
00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:48,472
Giulia Sofia, folks, listen,
a sensational nouvel arrivage!
459
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,868
Just landed here at Marina Piccola with
his international double engine yatch
460
00:38:52,938 --> 00:38:55,425
please meet my friend:
461
00:39:05,818 --> 00:39:10,715
- Cereals!
- Pupetto Montmartre des Champs-�lys�es.
462
00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:13,433
Hello!
463
00:39:13,553 --> 00:39:18,197
Remember my advice:
international gait,
464
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:23,076
innate weariness,
and "F" instead of "R".
465
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,985
Of course, "R" instead of "F".
466
00:39:28,377 --> 00:39:33,632
- My dear, which lady requires charming?
- The brunette over there.
467
00:39:34,343 --> 00:39:36,475
- That one?
- Yes.
468
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,599
One is as good as another to me!
469
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,797
- Listen.. I'm going.
- Go.
470
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:58,439
No, wait a second!
It's not the maid to be laid!
471
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:03,350
Silly! The maid may be laid, sometimes.
And if I may, the maid..
472
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,394
- No. Come, don't play the nooh-nah.
- You are so cruel.
473
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,989
Let me introduce you.
474
00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:11,942
Hello, blond guy.
475
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,055
Divine!
476
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:22,071
- Manners!
- Watch it, Bubi will bite you. Go Bubi!
477
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:23,392
Boo!
478
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,717
He got all scaredy!
479
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,446
Silly, it's fake!
480
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:38,958
Oh, you're incurable! Don't you find him
tempestuously adorable, Giulia Sofia?
481
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,738
Say it my dear!
482
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:47,074
- You really are enormous!
- Isn't he?
483
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,271
Yes he is!
484
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,302
Formidably cute!
485
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,999
He's the most enormous guy of all
the enormous people I've ever met!
486
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,996
- Oh, weally?
- Weally!
487
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,075
- Are you one of us?
- Yes.
488
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,238
He's one of us, boys!
489
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:10,433
- Follow me, you beanie boo!
- What a cutie.
490
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:18,075
- Say, how where you born?
- How was I born?
491
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,035
- Yes.
- Like all the rest.
492
00:41:21,686 --> 00:41:27,597
Oh, he means that he's of gentle birth,
born out of a great Brazilian family.
493
00:41:27,717 --> 00:41:30,479
- Yeah, 14 children in all!
- So amusing!
494
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,911
He's joking! He means his
family owns a lot of fazendas.
495
00:41:34,031 --> 00:41:35,919
- Fazendas?
- Yes.
496
00:41:36,570 --> 00:41:40,918
Yep, everybody there's got tons of
agendas. I got mine, you got yours.
497
00:41:41,364 --> 00:41:45,714
- Did you arrive from Copacabana?
- What? - Copacabana.
498
00:41:45,834 --> 00:41:50,033
- Copacabana? No, Caianiello.
- And where's that?
499
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:53,615
- Between Teano and Frosinone.
- No!
500
00:41:53,735 --> 00:41:59,348
- No, it's Cayenna hello!
- Oh, the criminal harbour. So funny!
501
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,344
- Criminal harbour!?
- As a tourist, you know.
502
00:42:04,001 --> 00:42:08,295
- I'd like something to chew on.
- Oh, poor thing. He's hungry!
503
00:42:08,365 --> 00:42:10,050
Tuck in.
504
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:14,193
- Tuck in? You want a shirt?
- No, I want to eat.
505
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:18,678
Let's go get a couple vitamins
for the little cutie pie.
506
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,358
What? What's this?
507
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:27,000
Folks, I have decided. I'm staying.
That guy is soo lovable.
508
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,636
- What are the vitamins for?
- For lunch. Eating is not classy, here.
509
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,594
It's not classy here! You don't eat?
You skip? I'm skipping too.
510
00:42:36,877 --> 00:42:41,108
- Leave? And where to?
- To observe the servant's whereabouts.
511
00:42:41,493 --> 00:42:44,910
- Where is she, by the way?
- This place is too refined for you.
512
00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:48,317
- Why'd you bring me here, then?
- We may need you, and you us.
513
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,991
- May I need the maid?
- ..what's that got to do with it?
514
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,351
The maid is atomical,
the maid is effervescent!
515
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,757
Look, the maid is more advisable.
I tell you.
516
00:43:02,356 --> 00:43:03,628
Here's the coffee.
517
00:43:05,019 --> 00:43:07,036
Haha, what's that? Girardengo?
518
00:43:07,156 --> 00:43:10,352
It's the bar-mobile, you know!
519
00:43:10,608 --> 00:43:15,913
- One coffee for our duder. You like it?
- A lot.
520
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,474
- He's as mad as a kid.
- Cereals!
521
00:43:24,081 --> 00:43:27,362
- Who made this coffee?
- I did, why? Is it not good?
522
00:43:27,482 --> 00:43:30,223
This is sludge!
Sludge!
523
00:43:30,425 --> 00:43:33,365
- What does that mean?
- Well, not really sludge. Just awful.
524
00:43:33,485 --> 00:43:38,470
So funny! My dear, you have been
to a lot of places and know a lot,
525
00:43:38,826 --> 00:43:43,310
tell me what you like,
it must be something interesting.
526
00:43:43,430 --> 00:43:47,017
- You want to know.. my tastes?
- Yes. What do you like?
527
00:43:49,817 --> 00:43:52,917
- Please, let us know!
- I cannot tell.
528
00:43:53,037 --> 00:43:54,720
Please, enlighten us!
529
00:43:55,287 --> 00:43:57,114
- What I like?
- Yes.
530
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,436
- Never mind, really.
- No, no! You must absolutely tell us.
531
00:44:03,556 --> 00:44:07,918
- You really do want to know?
- Yes, yes and yes.
532
00:44:11,628 --> 00:44:13,940
- Should I?
- Say it.
533
00:44:14,459 --> 00:44:17,884
- I like the maid.
- What a funny guy!
534
00:44:18,004 --> 00:44:22,319
Enough! I like the maid, and that's it.
The maid is what I like.
535
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,304
- You're intolerable!
- Come on.
536
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:31,504
- Help! Gosh, that's scary.
- Were you scared?
537
00:44:31,574 --> 00:44:33,290
- Yes.
- And what did scare you?
538
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,796
Well, you can see it as well..
539
00:44:34,916 --> 00:44:36,752
- This picture?
- Of course.
540
00:44:36,872 --> 00:44:39,110
- But this is a Picass�.
- What's that?
541
00:44:39,230 --> 00:44:41,492
- C'est une imitation de Picass�.
- This thing?
542
00:44:41,562 --> 00:44:44,063
- Une imitation de Picass�.
- Oui.
543
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,442
- Picass�.
- Picass�.
544
00:44:45,512 --> 00:44:47,537
- This one here?
- Mais naturellement.
545
00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,354
- Picass�. And who painted it?
- I did.
546
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,471
- Mais non.
- Oui, moi.
547
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,058
- You did, really?
- Oui. Moi.
548
00:44:54,128 --> 00:44:56,164
- Reallyment?
- Vraiment, voulez dire.
549
00:44:56,234 --> 00:44:58,530
Same thing.. Reallyment,
you made it?
550
00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,936
- Word of honour?
- Yes.
551
00:45:00,006 --> 00:45:01,561
Let me shake your hand.
552
00:45:01,681 --> 00:45:03,427
- Did you, really?
- Certainly.
553
00:45:03,779 --> 00:45:06,611
Bravo! Erudition
has to be rewarded.
554
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:11,032
Everybody, to me! A chair
and a hankie, please. Come here.
555
00:45:11,152 --> 00:45:13,071
- So you made it.
- Yes.
556
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,711
Gimme the chair.
Come. Sit here.
557
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,677
The hankie, please.
558
00:45:22,698 --> 00:45:27,395
You know, I'm generous,
I enjoy rewarding talent.
559
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:32,191
With your wee hands,
like this, hold his head tight.
560
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,875
Tight, tight!
561
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:39,518
And with your wee hand,
cover this eye.
562
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,637
- Can you see from this eye?
- No.
563
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:46,476
And you, would you be so kind
to hold this eye open?
564
00:45:46,596 --> 00:45:50,832
- Stand still. Can you see this?
- Yes.
565
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,554
You can see it well?
Then keep staring.
566
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,332
So funny! What was that?
567
00:45:58,452 --> 00:46:02,110
- Marvellous.
- Fantastic.
568
00:46:02,586 --> 00:46:04,610
What an obscenity!
569
00:46:04,730 --> 00:46:07,955
What a guy! He's really knowledgeable.
570
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:13,312
- Well, in all modesty..
- So cute.
571
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,385
- Bubi, bite! He was scared!
- He really was.
572
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,151
- Listen baby, are you into music?
- Am I? I am a Maestro!
573
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:28,229
- In Caianiello..
- He's a master of music.
574
00:46:28,730 --> 00:46:34,233
Then we must absolutely have him
listen to Cab Calloway's latest.
575
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:35,998
- Yes!
- Who?
576
00:46:36,118 --> 00:46:38,791
Cab Calloway!
577
00:46:38,911 --> 00:46:42,112
- Cab Calloway? Who's that?
- Yeah!!
578
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,153
Everybody, here!
579
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,158
I can't take it anymore!
580
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,640
I can't take it anymore!
581
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,600
I'm so sad!
582
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:30,909
Dad!
583
00:48:32,805 --> 00:48:35,314
Dad!!!
584
00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:32,661
- Hey! It's time to put an end to this.
- What?
585
00:49:32,761 --> 00:49:37,289
This farce, this buffoonery!
You said we'd call Tiscordi.
586
00:49:37,389 --> 00:49:40,077
- Yes, but take it easy!
- Take it easy my foot!
587
00:49:40,197 --> 00:49:43,043
- That girl there, what's her name?
- Giulia Sofia.
588
00:49:43,163 --> 00:49:45,920
She fell in love. This is going
to be trouble, I'm clearing off.
589
00:49:45,990 --> 00:49:47,790
- Oh, nothing's going to happen!
- Don't try it!
590
00:49:47,860 --> 00:49:51,221
Else I will tell Sofia what I think
of her, and what I think of the maid.
591
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,993
- No, not this. Please don't.
- Then we have to call.
592
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,509
- Let's go.
- We're calling Tiscordi, in Milan.
593
00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:02,592
Oh, Ok. I take care
of communication.
594
00:50:02,712 --> 00:50:05,551
Hallo? Hallo!
595
00:50:07,184 --> 00:50:10,043
Does it take long
to get on the line?
596
00:50:10,163 --> 00:50:15,151
No, just a few seconds.
The Quisisana will get us through.
597
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:20,229
- What's that, a clinic?
- No, a world-famous hotel in Capri.
598
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:24,956
- Holy!
- We'll soon be in touch with the world.
599
00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:28,994
- Hello?
- Hello, Quisi Santa?
600
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,953
It's Quisisana!
601
00:50:32,073 --> 00:50:36,790
- Hello, Miss?
- Hello?
602
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,959
Hello, Quisisana. You want Milan?
Here's Milan.
603
00:50:41,572 --> 00:50:45,074
- Hello, Milan?
- Milan already? Oh, the progress!
604
00:50:45,144 --> 00:50:46,989
Not like in Caianiello..
605
00:50:47,109 --> 00:50:51,035
Hello, exchange? Miss, can you get me
Milan? Hello, exchange?
606
00:50:51,155 --> 00:50:56,885
Am I speaking to Mr. Tiscordi in person?
My pleasure Mr. Tiscordi, remember me?
607
00:50:56,955 --> 00:50:59,886
Yes I'm Poldino di Roccarasata,
remember me? We met in Cortina.
608
00:50:59,956 --> 00:51:02,185
How are your children?
Are they well? Very well!
609
00:51:02,255 --> 00:51:04,255
I wanted to introduce you to
a friend that is here with me.
610
00:51:04,325 --> 00:51:05,324
Sure I'll introduce him.
611
00:51:05,394 --> 00:51:06,655
Goodbye. Thanks.
612
00:51:06,775 --> 00:51:11,490
Mr., I am Roccarasata's friend!
He forgot to tell you. Many thanks!
613
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:12,844
You forgot to tell him.
614
00:51:12,914 --> 00:51:16,810
No need to, he said he'd be very happy
to hear your opera as soon as possible!
615
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,656
- When is the performance?
- When? Let's ask!
616
00:51:18,726 --> 00:51:23,467
The performance? Tomorrow at La Scala?
Great, book the seats, goodbye.
617
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,438
I forgot, what time?
618
00:51:26,558 --> 00:51:29,103
Five and a half? Thanks!
Is your Miss well? Great!
619
00:51:29,173 --> 00:51:31,421
I too was in Court with Tina,
but got away with it.
620
00:51:31,491 --> 00:51:33,590
Take care! Goodbye.
621
00:51:34,387 --> 00:51:39,798
- Ah, all thanks to progress!
- This is unheard of, in Caianiello.
622
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,912
Well then! We did our part,
now it's your turn.
623
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:47,433
You will have to spend
the night here with Giulia Sofia.
624
00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:50,473
Are you out of your mind?
I'll have Bubi bite you!
625
00:51:50,593 --> 00:51:53,353
- What about the agreement!?
- The agreement!
626
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:58,776
Tonight I'll be on a train to Milan,
I'll be heading towards glory!
627
00:51:58,846 --> 00:52:00,731
Heading towards glory,
tonight in Milan!
628
00:52:00,801 --> 00:52:03,917
Goodbye. You can have a moustache.
I'm keeping the other one.
629
00:52:04,606 --> 00:52:07,069
Naples-Milan
SLEEPING CAR
630
00:52:24,535 --> 00:52:26,311
Beg your pardon, Miss.
631
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,291
Your Honour, this is your cabin.
Yours is the bunk below, no. 5.
632
00:52:31,391 --> 00:52:33,930
Thanks. Wasn't it possible
to find a single, though?
633
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,987
Impossible, it is Saturday
and the train is very crowded.
634
00:52:37,347 --> 00:52:40,923
- Had you booked earlier, it..
- No, it was a change of plans,
635
00:52:40,993 --> 00:52:43,090
a strike in Milan and
I'm giving a speech.
636
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,020
Sleeping with strangers
is something I really don't like.
637
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,765
Please, your luggage.
638
00:52:47,835 --> 00:52:51,216
By the way, my secretary will be
bringing some more, mind taking them?
639
00:52:51,351 --> 00:52:53,270
Of course, as soon as they are here.
640
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,808
- Do you know who booked?
- No Sir, a passenger I do not know.
641
00:52:57,928 --> 00:53:02,023
- It's been booked since yesterday.
- I hope he's a quiet person, at least.
642
00:53:02,324 --> 00:53:05,424
Machinist, stoker, railwaymen!
643
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:09,403
- Porters! Labourers, and alike!
- Hey, hey, young man!
644
00:53:09,523 --> 00:53:13,276
- Manners! This isn't the street market.
- I concur.
645
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,950
- Who are you?
- Don't you recognize me!?
646
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,549
- Not at all.
- I am a passenger! In civilian clothes.
647
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,668
All right, but this is not your car.
Third class is over there.
648
00:53:22,738 --> 00:53:26,099
Who says it isn't?
I've got a ticket for this car.
649
00:53:26,169 --> 00:53:30,153
- A billet for this car?
- I've got a ticket, but no ballet.
650
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:34,319
- Do you have the billet or not?
- I don't want to see the ballet.
651
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:39,594
- Then show me the billet!
- I want my cabin, not a ballet!
652
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:43,081
- That colonel in uniform down there..
- Who, the stationmaster?
653
00:53:43,151 --> 00:53:45,600
I don't care about his name,
he told me this was my car.
654
00:53:45,720 --> 00:53:49,395
- You have the billet then!
- Persevering, aren't you?
655
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:53,434
- How badly you want to see a ballet?
- You do not understand.
656
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,189
- Don't raise your voice!
- I'm not. You don't raise your voice.
657
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,811
- You don't know who you're talking to!
- Tell me then!
658
00:53:59,881 --> 00:54:03,456
Behind these appearances
shines a musical genius.
659
00:54:03,526 --> 00:54:09,031
A free citizen! I profess a theory!
I liberate the people!
660
00:54:09,240 --> 00:54:12,630
- I might even be a conscript!
- Please calm down, Mr.
661
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:16,763
- You see, Mr. stoker..
- Stoker!? Pay respect!
662
00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:19,090
Beg your pardon, I believe
the inspector is right.
663
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,130
He said "billet".
It's French for ticket.
664
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,528
That's what I was telling him,
but it doesn't seem to sift through.
665
00:54:25,628 --> 00:54:28,927
What? That's exactly what I was
saying. Anyway, ticket please.
666
00:54:28,997 --> 00:54:31,452
And the ticket is exactly
what I was showing you!
667
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,879
Bed no. 6.
The cabin is this one.
668
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,812
- Make yourself comfortable.
- With that guy over there?
669
00:54:40,882 --> 00:54:43,131
He's your fellow traveller.
Do you mind!?
670
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,314
- Is it safe?
- From what?
671
00:54:47,190 --> 00:54:48,617
Will the Red Army save us?
672
00:55:00,232 --> 00:55:01,991
- May I?
- Go ahead.
673
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,231
- Do you get off here?
- We just left!
674
00:55:04,301 --> 00:55:07,382
- Then let me through.
- Do so..
675
00:55:18,055 --> 00:55:19,546
What a nasty mug.
676
00:55:20,511 --> 00:55:22,598
Unpromising start.
677
00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:27,692
Who have I run into? Must be a thief.
678
00:55:28,634 --> 00:55:30,472
Is he talking to me?
679
00:55:31,349 --> 00:55:34,198
He's a thief. For sure.
I've got a sharp eye.
680
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,197
Pity, because my wallet
is full of Swiss Francs.
681
00:55:38,317 --> 00:55:39,512
Talking to himself?
682
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,555
He must be half crazy.
683
00:55:44,076 --> 00:55:46,194
I'll send you to jail..
684
00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:49,280
.. to jail, I will!
685
00:55:49,758 --> 00:55:52,359
The typical train "rat".
686
00:55:58,034 --> 00:56:01,430
Don't steal my luggage!
Don't even try!
687
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,552
- Are you kidding me?!
- I've been warned.
688
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:08,839
You turn around a sec and something
is gone. And I've got my Francs.
689
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:13,280
Worse than this..
we'd better introduce ourselves.
690
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,237
- Do you mind?
- What? Stop!
691
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:22,395
- I'll stop the train!
- Have you gone mad? What are you doing?
692
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,568
- I said, "do you mind?".
- What?
693
00:56:24,638 --> 00:56:27,166
- If I could introduce myself.
- Introduce to whom?
694
00:56:27,236 --> 00:56:32,359
- To you. Two of us in here.
- Oh, that "pleased to meet you" thing..
695
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,440
- Pleased to meet you.
- Many thanks.
696
00:56:35,510 --> 00:56:37,800
- You're welcome.
- Oh, this is ridiculous.
697
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:56,154
Then, if I may,
I am Cosimo Trumpet, MP.
698
00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:00,558
Trumpet..
it sounds familiar.
699
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:04,639
- You must've read it on the papers.
- I met your father, too.
700
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:07,912
I'm not surprised. My father
is a very well known man.
701
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:12,750
Yep. Who in the world
doesn't know your father Trombone!
702
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:17,272
Oh, you must be mistaken.
You said Trombone.
703
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:21,359
My name is Trumpet, therefore
also my father must be a Trumpet.
704
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:25,633
- Well, you know.. Sometimes!
- No, no. Trumpet father and son.
705
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,386
- Regardless.
- Instead, my sister..
706
00:57:28,456 --> 00:57:30,105
- Your sister Trombone.
- My sister Trombone.
707
00:57:30,175 --> 00:57:33,709
- No, wait. Not Trombone.
- Yes, she is. Trombone.
708
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,957
- No she doesn't, she..
- I can assure you, she does.
709
00:57:37,077 --> 00:57:40,391
- What do you know of..
- I do know. I am a worldly-wise man.
710
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,353
Three years military service in Cuneo.
That would suffice!
711
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,791
- My sister's never been to Cuneo!
- Doesn't matter, Trombone nonetheless!
712
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:51,158
- I tell you!
- You know my sister better than I?
713
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,678
- I guarantee it is Trumpet.
- Trumpet then? All right.
714
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:59,833
- Or, actually, she was Trumpet.
- Oh! There we go, you fell for it.
715
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,191
It's like I say.
She is Trombone.
716
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,097
Please don't touch me,
I cannot stand it.
717
00:58:05,290 --> 00:58:09,752
- Three years in Cuneo..
- She was Trumpet while nubile..
718
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,307
Now that she's married to Mr. Mouth,
she's Trumpet-in-Mouth.
719
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:14,924
- Well, of course!
- Why of course?
720
00:58:15,024 --> 00:58:17,538
- Because a trumpet goes in the mouth.
- That's not the point..
721
00:58:17,608 --> 00:58:19,395
Ever seen anybody
with a trumpet elsewhere?
722
00:58:19,465 --> 00:58:21,837
- She doesn't put trumpets in her mouth!
- Oh yes, she does!
723
00:58:21,907 --> 00:58:24,155
- She certainly doesn't!
- Listen to me, she does!
724
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:28,916
Even in Cuneo trumpeters put
trumpets into their mouths. I tell you!
725
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,554
She does when you're not around!
Tara-tara, in front of the mirror!
726
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:35,044
Ring goes the door, "Who's there?"
"My brother!" "Holy!"
727
00:58:35,114 --> 00:58:36,716
and she hides the trumpet,
behind her back.
728
00:58:36,820 --> 00:58:40,554
Oh come on! Please try to understand!
Mouth is my brother-in-law's name.
729
00:58:41,642 --> 00:58:44,432
Is something up?
Are you all right?
730
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:49,555
Should I call somebody?
What do you feel?
731
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,072
What's it?
Oh, god, a paralysis?
732
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,235
Getting there?
733
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,710
You can do it!
734
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:08,791
- Aborted.
- Weird cold you've got.
735
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,310
- Well, what is your trade?
- I asked you please not to touch me.
736
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:15,610
- I mean, what is your trade, pal?
- Pal? Pal who!?
737
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:16,750
Oh, don't worry about it.
738
00:59:16,820 --> 00:59:18,727
- We met a few minutes ago!
- Oh, it don't really care!
739
00:59:18,797 --> 00:59:20,501
Well, if you do not care, I do!
740
00:59:20,571 --> 00:59:22,976
- I am democratic!
- This is too much intimacy!
741
00:59:23,046 --> 00:59:25,232
- And I don't like being touched!
- Democracy!
742
00:59:25,302 --> 00:59:28,195
- I don't like it either.
- Good. We can get along then.
743
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,876
- Besides, mind you, I have no trade.
- Bravo!
744
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,795
- Unemployed?
- Unemployed! Of course not!
745
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,376
- I am a freelancer.
- A free dancer?
746
00:59:38,446 --> 00:59:40,367
Dancer? Freelancer!
747
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,875
- I get it.
- I beg you to stop it!
748
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:49,229
Actually, I used to be a freelancer,
but I was recently elected MP.
749
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:53,228
- Oh! You could've said that before!
- Keep your hands off!
750
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:57,234
- He pretends not to understand me!
- Do I have to say it in French?
751
00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:03,220
- I used to be an obstetrician.
- You used to do what?
752
01:00:03,290 --> 01:00:05,377
- Obstetrician.
- Oh. Well, of course.
753
01:00:05,447 --> 01:00:08,050
- Of course what!?
- Being an oysterician doesn't pay much.
754
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,008
- What are you on about?
- Get a nice box of American cigarettes!
755
01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:13,264
- I said obstetrician!
- There's money to be had.
756
01:00:13,334 --> 01:00:15,749
- Sure, I'll go round with my cart even!
- Two cartons, please.
757
01:00:15,849 --> 01:00:19,666
- I'm not in the mood for a joke!
- Oh, don't be like that.
758
01:00:20,250 --> 01:00:21,650
I've had enough!!
759
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,553
- Get it?
- You get it!
760
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:28,395
Every limit has his man! Don't you know?
If you don't, get some education!
761
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:32,474
- You're way too impertinent!
- Mouth your watch!
762
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:37,919
- Don't be offensive!
- You mouth.. you watch your mouth!
763
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:43,154
- Let's set things straight.
- You won't stop touching for a minute!
764
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:49,111
- I've had enough of your sticky hands!
- Sticky hands? What?!
765
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,318
- You are touching me, you! YOU!
- Me!?
766
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:56,269
Alright then, I'm touching you.
But why do you retouch me?
767
01:00:56,520 --> 01:01:00,229
- Retouch what?
- Yes, you touch me!
768
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:02,586
- I saw that!
- Keep your arm down.
769
01:01:02,656 --> 01:01:03,630
- My arm is my own.
- Then I do this.
770
01:01:03,700 --> 01:01:06,353
- You daren't do that.
- Yes I do.
771
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:10,275
I see a hole, I get in.
Want to kill me? Do it, then!
772
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:15,116
I don't know why I haven't
jettisoned you out of the window yet.
773
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,909
Oh, there we go again!
Sneeze already!
774
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:22,516
Why did this happen to me?
775
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,754
What do you want now!?
776
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,276
All right!
Oh, the patience!
777
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:31,636
Come on!
778
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:34,508
- Well?
- Aborted.
779
01:01:34,578 --> 01:01:37,732
- You're exhausting. I've had enough.
- Oh, me too.
780
01:01:37,802 --> 01:01:42,117
You're so thick you do not
understand a word I say!
781
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:45,477
- So I am the cretin here?
- Who else?
782
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:49,872
We've been talking for half an hour and
you still didn't understand who I am.
783
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:54,238
I am Cosimo Trumpet,
a Member of Parliament! Get it?!
784
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:58,359
- Who are you?
- An MP.
785
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,641
- Who?
- Me.
786
01:02:01,328 --> 01:02:04,537
- MP, you! Please!
- This is outrageous!
787
01:02:04,672 --> 01:02:07,192
- An MP!
- Yes indeed!
788
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,352
- It is not a laughing matter.
- MP my ..!
789
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:14,553
You're being rude now, and impolite!
790
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:20,033
Oh, there goes the sneeze again.
Not on me!
791
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:24,717
Please do me a favour,
not on me!
792
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:28,709
Damn you and your sneeze!
793
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,952
Yeah, right! On my hand!
794
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:36,114
Uh, what?
All right, as long as it works!
795
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:40,715
Yes, good.
796
01:02:43,498 --> 01:02:44,735
Aborted.
797
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:49,029
- Your honour, your baggage is here.
- Oh, thanks.
798
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:53,239
- Do me a favour, help me get them in.
- How, we're constricted already.
799
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,438
Constricted?! Oh, just place
them where you want.
800
01:02:58,369 --> 01:03:00,229
- Is that all?
- Yes, four of them.
801
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,433
- Here we go.
- Come on!
802
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:10,790
- Thanks. One more and that's it.
- There.
803
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,902
- Anymore? Is this yours?
- Yes, thanks a lot.
804
01:03:14,972 --> 01:03:17,388
- You're welcome.
- Listen..
805
01:03:17,458 --> 01:03:20,193
- Are they ok?
- Everything all right.
806
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,902
- Please, the wake up call tomorrow.
- Certainly. Anything else your Honour?
807
01:03:22,972 --> 01:03:23,972
No. Many thanks.
808
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:30,160
Who's there?
809
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:33,627
Who's she?
810
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:44,358
- Mr. Trumpet, is she your wife?
- I don't know her.
811
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:47,592
- Good evening, Sirs.
- Good evening.
812
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:50,268
You must forgive me,
it was very brash on my part
813
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:54,250
to enter a cabin occupied
by two strangers.
814
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,930
- Yep, he's rather a stranger to me.
- But I couldn't do otherwise.
815
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:00,709
I am being chased by a man.
A dominering, violent man.
816
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,430
I met him by chance, during
the bathing season, in Capri.
817
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:09,629
He fell madly in love with me, he wanted
me to be his lover, at all costs!
818
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:15,159
He made it clear that if he were to find
me with anybody else, he'd kill us!
819
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:20,441
- What? Kill? Us? Oh god, what!?
- Don't interrupt, please.
820
01:04:20,750 --> 01:04:25,119
- Please continue.
- I'll look if anybody's coming.
821
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:29,638
- But we just left!
- You never know.
822
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:33,429
Quiet! Let's not make
a scandal out of this.
823
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:36,672
- Keep low!
- Oh, my!
824
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:40,833
- What is it?
- Silence!
825
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:42,665
- Passed.
- What was it?
826
01:04:42,769 --> 01:04:46,588
- An underpass.
- Why do I even bother!
827
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:50,392
That's enough!
We want to sleep!
828
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:54,611
- I would ask you a simple favour.
- Oh, we don't have any money.
829
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:58,078
- It's not about money!
- You know, my Swiss Francs..
830
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:02,074
I only ask you for hospitality.
Please don't throw me out.
831
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,005
- Of course not, Miss!
- No need to worry!
832
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:11,199
- Two of us gentlemen here.
- I know I am!
833
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:15,177
- Why, I'm not?
- Well, I don't know you.
834
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:21,194
We are hospitable enough to
be glad of your presence here.
835
01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:23,670
We'll make do.
836
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,993
Don't worry about it,
I'll just huddle up somewhere.
837
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:33,783
Oh, we wouldn't allow that.
We'll fix you up.
838
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:38,316
Yep. We'll fix you up good!
839
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,772
Just a second,
we will arrange things.
840
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:46,990
- Things aren't that simple.
- I know.
841
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:51,500
- Three of us, two beds.
- Three and two makes five.
842
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:57,917
- Five!? Two beds, three of us.
- Three minus two, one!
843
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:03,109
- We've got an extra bed!
- An extra bed? An extra person!
844
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,830
A brilliant idea is in order.
845
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:10,153
- Well, I have something in mind.
- You do?
846
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:13,392
- Yes.
- Why didn't you say so before?
847
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,837
Well, I do. But some do like it,
and some do not.
848
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:18,391
I, for instance..
849
01:06:19,982 --> 01:06:23,499
- do like it!
- Say it! We too might like it.
850
01:06:23,569 --> 01:06:25,557
We could do this.
851
01:06:25,677 --> 01:06:31,033
It's midnight. We arrive
in Milan at 10, that's 10 hours.
852
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:36,441
- We'll split the hours, five and five.
- I don't get it.
853
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:43,396
The first five hours, you would
get the bed on top.
854
01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:53,593
Me and the lady will have to fit
in the bunk below.
855
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:59,597
The other five hours instead,
you would take the bunk below, while
856
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:04,072
- I and the lady get the upper one.
- Don't be ridiculous!
857
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,514
Did you decide on something, then?
858
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:12,072
I would say that the lady
gets the lower bed, the upper one..
859
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:15,995
- I and you would take turns.
- Of course.
860
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:19,676
If I may, I will take
the first five hours.
861
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:24,516
Right. Your five hours, do them quickly,
because I'd like to sleep.
862
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:28,036
- 5 hours are 5 hours.
- Well, here we go!
863
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:31,556
I'd like to get undressed.
864
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:37,432
Well, that is understandable.
Extremely well understandable!
865
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:41,389
- She HAS to get undressed.
- Of course.
866
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:47,636
- But if you gentlemen keep looking..
- Don't worry, I'm not looking.
867
01:07:48,199 --> 01:07:51,491
- He, even if he does watch, well..
- What do you mean!?
868
01:07:52,008 --> 01:07:53,832
We're not watching, Miss.
869
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:55,928
Don't worry, you can imagine..
870
01:07:57,386 --> 01:08:00,280
In Cuneo, I've seen my
fair share of naked soldiers..
871
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:04,306
- What do soldiers have to do with this?
- Just saying.
872
01:08:04,376 --> 01:08:05,376
Just saying!
873
01:08:05,520 --> 01:08:07,397
All right, but we mustn't look.
874
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:11,155
I wanted to tell you a story.
875
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,033
- Once..
- Tell me.
876
01:08:15,624 --> 01:08:17,989
I wanted to tell you.. Mr. Trombone!
877
01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:21,097
If you don't stop..
Mr. Bassoon!
878
01:08:24,146 --> 01:08:26,236
Listen, I wanted to..
879
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,300
What are you looking at?
880
01:08:35,282 --> 01:08:37,998
Hey! What are you doing?
Got stuck?
881
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:41,188
I'm sorry Miss.
882
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:44,399
Would you do me a favour?
883
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:48,713
Please put the shoes somewhere.
884
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:50,471
Why not?
Why not..
885
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:54,717
- Done?
- Everything all right.
886
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:58,292
- Where did you put them?
- Next to the luggage.
887
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:03,038
This stair gets in the way.
Let's move it.
888
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,190
It still is in the way.
Let's..
889
01:09:10,679 --> 01:09:14,190
If I may, Miss, I will try
and get some sleep.
890
01:09:14,440 --> 01:09:17,238
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
891
01:09:17,480 --> 01:09:20,916
- You know, tomorrow I have a speech.
- Oh?
892
01:09:21,160 --> 01:09:25,995
- A strike in Milan so I'll be speaking.
- Sleep tight!
893
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:28,520
- Goodnight then.
- Goodnight.
894
01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:37,317
What are you doing, are you crazy?
What did you put on your face?
895
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:39,599
Hey!
896
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,473
Stop that thing!
897
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:47,349
He's crazy, there's no
half-measures about it.
898
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:51,550
I changed the air a bit.
899
01:09:52,023 --> 01:09:55,077
Some air conditioning won't hurt.
900
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,670
My wallet! The Swiss Francs!
901
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:43,029
Railwaymen, travelling personnel,
machinists, stokers and alike!
902
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:44,793
To me!
903
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,741
I was robbed! He did it!
904
01:10:48,878 --> 01:10:52,953
- That's impossible! The MP!
- The Swiss Francs! MP my ..!
905
01:10:53,839 --> 01:10:56,472
- I'll shove you out of the widow!
- You do what?
906
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:02,156
- He tried with the luggage too!
- I was robbed!
907
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:04,356
- What?
- See? He's pretending!
908
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:05,669
Enough!!
909
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:09,993
I can't take this anymore,
I will have you fired!
910
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:15,473
- You don't know how to do your job.
- You won't get anybody fired.
911
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:19,679
- Your Honour, please calm down!
- Put him in jail!
912
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:24,118
- Please calm down!
- In jail!
913
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:28,799
In jail I wanted him to be,
and in jail he will go! Scoundrel!
914
01:11:31,565 --> 01:11:35,523
MUSIC PUBLISHING
TISCORDI
915
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:49,830
Oh, that's enough!
916
01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:04,279
I am sorry, but I can't do anything.
Mr. Tiscordi is extremely busy.
917
01:12:04,784 --> 01:12:08,639
Please be gentle, Miss.
Did you get a thin needle?
918
01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:13,237
- Don't worry about it.
- That's what all you nurses say,
919
01:12:13,480 --> 01:12:16,790
and the result is that my.. back parts
are leaking like a sieve!
920
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:21,397
- You're the sixth one I try.
- I can be very delicate.
921
01:12:21,517 --> 01:12:23,437
Let's try it, then, this hand.
922
01:12:26,053 --> 01:12:28,237
You bloody murderer!
Just like the others!
923
01:12:28,357 --> 01:12:29,400
Go away!
924
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:33,280
- An injection is an injection!
- And you are butchers!
925
01:12:34,343 --> 01:12:37,080
Leave! My back
feels like a battlefield!
926
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:40,525
- How can you be so susceptible?
- Susceptible? Yes, I'm susceptible,
927
01:12:40,645 --> 01:12:42,480
I'm not made of stone!
928
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:48,232
- Oh, please!
- Leave! Take your bag and just leave!
929
01:12:52,887 --> 01:12:57,112
Hello, is it you, Tiscordi?
How did the injection go?
930
01:12:57,360 --> 01:13:01,592
Oh, it's you.
Mighty good friend you are, Doctor.
931
01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:05,135
You sent one just like the other five.
A butcher!
932
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:10,355
You want to send the seventh one?
No, I've had enough. It ends here.
933
01:13:11,255 --> 01:13:13,978
Oh? It is a male nurse this time?
934
01:13:14,576 --> 01:13:16,817
A male? A specialist?
935
01:13:18,591 --> 01:13:22,195
All right then.
Send this specialist in.
936
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:30,397
Employees, waiters,
servants and alike! May I?
937
01:13:30,684 --> 01:13:34,474
Good day. Good day Miss,
here I am.
938
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:38,872
- Easy! Who are you?
- You will see who I am!
939
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:41,793
I got off the train this morning.
940
01:13:42,040 --> 01:13:47,672
But given all the fog here
in Milan, I didn't find the place.
941
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:50,434
- Well, I am expected.
- By whom?
942
01:13:50,680 --> 01:13:52,983
They called on my behalf from..
943
01:13:53,836 --> 01:13:55,931
They phoned in from the.. Quisisanta.
944
01:13:56,001 --> 01:13:58,102
- Uh?
- Quisisanta.
945
01:13:58,172 --> 01:13:58,963
Sorry?
946
01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:05,428
Oh, I see! The Director is waiting
for you, please follow me.
947
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:08,478
He's waiting? I knew it.
948
01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:11,992
Assassins!
949
01:14:13,763 --> 01:14:14,554
Come in.
950
01:14:15,733 --> 01:14:18,832
The nurse from
the Quisisana has arrived.
951
01:14:20,262 --> 01:14:23,192
- Let him in.
- Yes. This way, please.
952
01:14:23,312 --> 01:14:25,802
May I?
Thank you, Miss.
953
01:14:27,663 --> 01:14:30,279
- Mr. Tiscordi?
- Yes, it's me.
954
01:14:30,399 --> 01:14:33,592
- Did you get my phone call?
- Yes, I was waiting for you.
955
01:14:33,840 --> 01:14:38,277
Oh, joy!
So my work is of your liking!
956
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,114
Slow down.
I have become wary.
957
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:44,079
- I trust you know your predecessors.
- More or less.
958
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:48,598
- They come in here, same pretences..
- The same old music.
959
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:54,278
That's it. You let them persuade you,
and BAM, they ruin you, in one go!
960
01:14:54,463 --> 01:14:59,645
You said it! But now,
your worries are over.
961
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:03,431
Antonio Scannagatti is here!
962
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:06,718
- On your feet!
- Why?
963
01:15:06,960 --> 01:15:10,635
- Please bow.
- I will bow when it is time.
964
01:15:10,755 --> 01:15:15,237
Tell me though, do you believe
you've got the hand it takes?
965
01:15:15,407 --> 01:15:16,785
I ?
966
01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:22,511
Got the hand it takes?
967
01:15:23,108 --> 01:15:24,303
YES.
968
01:15:24,450 --> 01:15:27,438
Then please go ahead.
969
01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:32,100
- Director.. Mine, is not a hand.
- What is it then?
970
01:15:32,170 --> 01:15:33,205
It's a feather.
971
01:15:33,275 --> 01:15:35,544
My grandfather, after all,
was an upholsterer.
972
01:15:35,664 --> 01:15:38,970
Introductions are what matters.
973
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:42,316
Yes! It's the introduction!
974
01:15:42,560 --> 01:15:45,597
Introductions are key!
975
01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:50,152
Some do away with them in
a brutal manner, but not me! Not me!
976
01:15:50,400 --> 01:15:52,311
No, no, no! Never!
977
01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:57,433
My introductions are sweet, subtle,
978
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:00,638
very feather-like!
979
01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:04,079
Director, come here!
980
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:08,016
- Come here!
- What?
981
01:16:08,136 --> 01:16:09,440
Do I have the hand it takes?
982
01:16:09,510 --> 01:16:10,510
YES I DO!
983
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,999
- Can you see it?
- How am I supposed to?
984
01:16:19,840 --> 01:16:22,149
- Did you see my brother-in-law?
- Who's that?
985
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:25,790
The man from Caianiello.
He took my Swiss Francs and ran!
986
01:16:25,910 --> 01:16:28,679
He must have come
to this place.
987
01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,273
- Did you see my brother-in-law?
- No.
988
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:36,752
- You must've hidden him in your house!
- What am I, a brother-in-law storage?
989
01:16:39,091 --> 01:16:40,319
Then you did!
990
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:43,552
Where did you hide him?
He came here, didn't he?
991
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:49,274
Yes! More! More!
This great Italian temperament!
992
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:53,593
Why did my great master
Stanislavski no see you?
993
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:56,195
- Beautiful! I hug.
- Are you for real?
994
01:16:56,440 --> 01:16:59,238
- Russian I am.
- Russian? - Yes.
995
01:16:59,480 --> 01:17:02,597
- Oh god, he's for real!
- Stand back!
996
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:06,389
Then we'll practice.
When's the first?
997
01:17:06,509 --> 01:17:09,916
If the practice goes well,
might as well do it tonight.
998
01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:11,147
- Tonight?
- Yes.
999
01:17:11,247 --> 01:17:15,631
This very evening? Good man!
May I? Good man.
1000
01:17:16,267 --> 01:17:18,846
- Where do you want to do it?
- Where? Why?
1001
01:17:18,916 --> 01:17:22,157
- We either do it properly, or we don't.
- Anywhere, really..
1002
01:17:22,227 --> 01:17:23,850
- What about a high up place?
- High up?
1003
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:26,988
One of them prestigious, high places.
Why, are you afraid?
1004
01:17:27,058 --> 01:17:31,400
- What does prestige have to do with..?
- Don't worry, just get the top place.
1005
01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:33,551
I'll think of the rest!
1006
01:17:33,671 --> 01:17:36,216
All right. Let's get this
high up place ready then.
1007
01:17:37,458 --> 01:17:39,990
Antonio! Or should I say..
1008
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:42,918
Nino! Ninuzzo!
1009
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:46,311
They're going to play your opera
in a top theatre?
1010
01:17:46,560 --> 01:17:48,437
This very night!
1011
01:17:48,557 --> 01:17:52,150
- Good man!
- At last, you do understand who I am!
1012
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:56,154
Took some time though!
Quite thick, aren't you!
1013
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:58,197
I beg your forgiveness, Swan!
1014
01:18:00,401 --> 01:18:03,102
All right, you'll be the boe,
and you the director.
1015
01:18:03,172 --> 01:18:07,215
You.. you're my brother-in-law,
so you'll be Romolo's brother-in-law.
1016
01:18:07,285 --> 01:18:09,470
Thanks!
1017
01:18:11,914 --> 01:18:13,637
Director?
1018
01:18:15,766 --> 01:18:17,915
- Where'd he go?
- I'm here.
1019
01:18:18,629 --> 01:18:20,674
- Where?
- Here I am.
1020
01:18:21,344 --> 01:18:23,117
Director.
1021
01:18:23,360 --> 01:18:27,069
I am here. I'm ready.
What the hell is that saxhorn for?
1022
01:18:27,189 --> 01:18:30,471
To play the introduction.
And why are you set up like that?
1023
01:18:30,591 --> 01:18:33,080
I got ready! Took my trousers off,
what else!?
1024
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:37,193
Oh, is that it! So that's how
you get ready to listen to my work!
1025
01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:41,871
Please tell me, Director,
are you Tiscordi or Tiscorni?
1026
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:44,998
- Tiscordi!
- No, no you aren't!
1027
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:46,254
You're Tiscorni!
1028
01:18:46,324 --> 01:18:49,775
Because only you
could be this corny!
1029
01:18:49,845 --> 01:18:50,807
And I'm rather astonished!
1030
01:18:50,877 --> 01:18:53,720
If there's anybody who
is astonished here, that is me!
1031
01:18:53,790 --> 01:18:55,556
- No use climbing up!
- I! I am!
1032
01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:58,189
- I am astonished!
- No, I am!
1033
01:18:58,440 --> 01:19:00,729
I am astonished!
1034
01:19:01,093 --> 01:19:03,999
I was first! You have to give way!
1035
01:19:05,062 --> 01:19:06,629
What are you babbling?
Get down!
1036
01:19:06,880 --> 01:19:09,314
- Get down!
- I'm going higher, I'm not afraid!
1037
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:11,949
- Come here.
- Are you menacing me?
1038
01:19:12,069 --> 01:19:14,410
- Because I'm not afraid.
- No. Just astonished.
1039
01:19:14,530 --> 01:19:16,776
Because I demand to know what
is the use of that saxhorn!
1040
01:19:16,846 --> 01:19:19,608
- How am I supposed to play without?
- Play what!?
1041
01:19:19,678 --> 01:19:22,120
Wasn't the ladder enough,
now you want the music too!
1042
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:24,874
- Explain yourself!
- No, you explain yourself!
1043
01:19:25,120 --> 01:19:29,079
- Because I'm rather keen of my bum!
- Why would I care about your bum!
1044
01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:31,010
So you'd like to give me an injection,
with those ideas of yours!?
1045
01:19:31,080 --> 01:19:32,330
- An injection?
- Yes!
1046
01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:35,198
- Are you an idiot?
- Me, an idiot!? Watch your mouth!
1047
01:19:35,440 --> 01:19:38,000
- You are the idiot!
- You're an idiot!
1048
01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:41,869
- No, you are!
- Come here!
1049
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,773
- The ladder!
- You're an imbecile!
1050
01:19:44,893 --> 01:19:48,472
Go away! You rascal!
1051
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:51,154
Help!
1052
01:19:51,878 --> 01:19:54,270
That rascal!
1053
01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:56,473
Help!
1054
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:03,193
- Did you do the rehearsal?
- Everything all right.
1055
01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:06,950
Let's hurry, because we have
to be at the theatre at 9!
1056
01:20:07,070 --> 01:20:10,403
What? That is barely enough time
to make my direction work magic!
1057
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:11,845
We're going to La Scala!
1058
01:20:14,280 --> 01:20:15,838
Let's go!
1059
01:20:16,720 --> 01:20:20,076
Help! Get him!
Where did he go!?
1060
01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:22,117
Director!
What's happening?
1061
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:30,472
Well, what is this,
a taxi or a snail?
1062
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:32,119
Get a move on!
1063
01:20:32,360 --> 01:20:34,476
- 'tis foggy!
- Did you hear that?
1064
01:20:34,720 --> 01:20:38,599
'tis foggy 'ere in Milan.
1065
01:20:38,840 --> 01:20:40,751
Cannae go fast.
1066
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:43,639
Did ye get 'at? I'll take caur of it.
1067
01:20:44,360 --> 01:20:47,432
Fella, it's dangerous.
Slaw doon.
1068
01:20:47,552 --> 01:20:50,014
- Don't run, it's slippery.
- What are you saying?
1069
01:20:50,134 --> 01:20:52,149
Don't slow, hurry up!
1070
01:20:52,269 --> 01:20:54,789
Hey Nino.. this is not
some other surprise, is it?
1071
01:20:55,038 --> 01:20:58,430
That other time, when you took
the Swiss Francs, I forgave you.
1072
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:02,958
Now we're going to La Scala. Tell me,
is it another con? I won't forgive you.
1073
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:04,269
Nononono.
1074
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:06,192
- Nononono!
- Well then?
1075
01:21:06,440 --> 01:21:09,512
I was just saying..
1076
01:21:09,760 --> 01:21:12,877
I mean, wouldn't you indulge a little?
1077
01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:16,278
Sometimes indulging is not so bad..
1078
01:21:17,510 --> 01:21:19,403
- Ninuccio..
- Yes?
1079
01:21:19,604 --> 01:21:22,758
I'd like to introduce you
to my cousin Nicolino.
1080
01:21:24,740 --> 01:21:26,275
Nicolino?
1081
01:21:27,338 --> 01:21:28,440
Pleased to meet you!
1082
01:21:28,928 --> 01:21:31,030
Great actor temperament!
1083
01:21:31,150 --> 01:21:35,239
I'm going to take a few inches off him!
1084
01:21:35,480 --> 01:21:38,995
- Make a miniature brother-in-law!
- A miniature!
1085
01:21:39,240 --> 01:21:42,308
And when they look for me,
they will find a tiny version of me!
1086
01:21:42,408 --> 01:21:45,303
- Haha! Teeny weeny!
- Hey! Stop!
1087
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:51,592
Wha' is La Scala then?
1088
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:55,116
- It's here!
- Wha' is La Scala!? This isn't it.
1089
01:21:55,880 --> 01:21:58,440
Where is it, then?
1090
01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:01,990
All this fog in Milan!
1091
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:05,710
- Where is La Scala!?
- Boys, I'm legging it.
1092
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:08,713
- Where are you going?
- I have to sing the opera!
1093
01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:12,316
- I don't give a damn.
- But I am the director!
1094
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:16,109
If that guy finds out,
he's going to kill me!
1095
01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:20,957
- He is from Montelepre!
- He find out what?
1096
01:22:21,144 --> 01:22:23,560
That we had a misunderstanding
with the producer.
1097
01:22:23,680 --> 01:22:26,672
Ninuzzo, also known as The Swan..
1098
01:22:26,920 --> 01:22:29,992
if you're making fun of me again,
1099
01:22:30,240 --> 01:22:33,038
I'll cut you up like a prickly pear!
1100
01:22:33,158 --> 01:22:35,370
- No, not the prickly pear!
- Yes, just like that!
1101
01:22:35,490 --> 01:22:37,962
- I'll punch a hole into you!
- Please do not, my dear.
1102
01:22:38,082 --> 01:22:40,920
My dear brother-in-law,
since you're in law, be lawful,
1103
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:43,920
- but I have to confess.
- You are guilty, then!
1104
01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:46,156
No, I'm not, but I have
to tell you something.
1105
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:48,697
- Speak up!
- I didn't take you to the theatre.
1106
01:22:48,817 --> 01:22:51,236
You didn't!
And where did you take me?
1107
01:22:51,480 --> 01:22:54,438
"STAGE ENTRY"
- Oh, that's awfully nice of you!
1108
01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:58,389
He wanted to take me to the stage,
with all the artists!
1109
01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:01,677
Let's go Ninuzzo!
You're marvellous!
1110
01:23:05,159 --> 01:23:07,711
PUPPET THEATRE
"CARMELO"
1111
01:23:08,146 --> 01:23:10,389
- To arms!
- To arms!
1112
01:23:10,680 --> 01:23:14,623
- You will die!
- On your grave!
1113
01:23:14,693 --> 01:23:17,018
- Take this!
- And that!
1114
01:23:18,617 --> 01:23:21,284
- Vile Saracen!
- I'm not yet dead!
1115
01:23:21,485 --> 01:23:23,485
- You won't get out of this alive!
- Aaah!
1116
01:23:24,680 --> 01:23:27,399
This would be La Scala?
1117
01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:33,718
La Scala for puppets it is!
1118
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:37,635
You fooled me!
Great Russia director!
1119
01:23:37,880 --> 01:23:41,919
- You cheat!
- You two as well! Accomplices!
1120
01:23:42,039 --> 01:23:45,311
I'll show you, both of you!
1121
01:24:02,012 --> 01:24:03,724
PUPPETS & SETS
STORAGE
1122
01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:07,717
- What is going on, what happened?
- What happened!?
1123
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,475
I.. you.. me..
you're contagious!
1124
01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:14,280
- Where is Scala?
- There's no La Scala.
1125
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:16,688
That thing, with Tiscordi in Milan..
1126
01:24:18,426 --> 01:24:23,353
There you are! You can't run,
you will end up like mice in a trap!
1127
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:25,431
Run for your life!
1128
01:24:51,548 --> 01:24:53,591
Swindlers!
1129
01:24:56,148 --> 01:25:01,433
There he is! This is it.
Nicolino, strop and strike!
1130
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:05,192
Come here Giovannin!
We need the puppets for the 2nd act.
1131
01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:01,528
Let's get the puppets ready.
1132
01:27:49,080 --> 01:27:51,913
So it wasn't a puppet!
1133
01:27:53,440 --> 01:27:56,671
It was you with a mask?!
1134
01:27:57,320 --> 01:28:00,835
Your time is over, scrounger!
1135
01:28:01,080 --> 01:28:04,356
You will be the new Turiddu!
1136
01:28:07,800 --> 01:28:11,759
I'll pry you open like a tangerine!
1137
01:28:17,640 --> 01:28:20,279
However, incredible as it is,
that crime did not take place.
1138
01:28:20,520 --> 01:28:24,877
Because thankfully, even misunderstood
geniuses have their own saint.
1139
01:28:25,015 --> 01:28:27,584
"THE NEW MUSICAL GENIUS"
- Tiscordi, the producer,
1140
01:28:27,654 --> 01:28:29,585
chanced upon Scannagatti's opera,
1141
01:28:29,655 --> 01:28:31,739
and he was delighted by it.
1142
01:28:31,809 --> 01:28:33,740
"Maestro Antonio Scannagatti hailed as
the new master of dodecaphony
1143
01:28:33,810 --> 01:28:35,915
by the public at La Scala Theatre."
1144
01:28:36,743 --> 01:28:39,345
LONG LIVE THE SWAN OF CAIANELLO
1145
01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:44,794
And to welcome the the triumphant man,
even Maestro Tiburzio was there,
1146
01:28:45,040 --> 01:28:48,191
his recent paralysis notwithstanding.
1147
01:28:55,339 --> 01:28:57,909
HONOUR TO THE GENIUS
1148
01:29:04,837 --> 01:29:05,873
Maestro!
1149
01:29:06,960 --> 01:29:10,555
I am happy to welcome you,
famed descendant of Caianello,
1150
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:12,597
on behalf of the town!
1151
01:29:12,840 --> 01:29:14,990
I also have the honour of announcing
1152
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:18,835
that this square will no longer
bear the name of Giuseppe Verdi,
1153
01:29:19,080 --> 01:29:24,438
a rather outdated musician. It will
become the Antonio Scannagatti Square!
1154
01:29:24,680 --> 01:29:27,911
Actually my brother-in-law is
Swan! Swan of La Scala!
1155
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:33,515
A government representative
will soon uncover the new plate,
1156
01:29:33,760 --> 01:29:38,276
meanwhile, we'd be honoured if you could
lead the ceremony with your music!
1157
01:29:38,520 --> 01:29:40,192
- Of course!
- Very well!
1158
01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:43,636
Ninuzzo! Make us proud!
1159
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:17,308
We're ready, Your Honour.
1160
01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:20,438
I didn't yet get to see the Maestro.
1161
01:30:20,680 --> 01:30:24,239
I will introduce you later,
at the banquet. Let's uncover the plate.
1162
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:37,918
It's him!
1163
01:30:42,120 --> 01:30:43,398
- It's him!!
- Him who?
1164
01:30:43,468 --> 01:30:45,525
- The madman on the train!
- Which train?
1165
01:30:45,595 --> 01:30:47,999
- On the sleeping car!
- The sleeping car!?
1166
01:30:48,240 --> 01:30:50,470
Let go of me!
I have to go!
1167
01:30:50,720 --> 01:30:52,358
Get him!
Calm down!
1168
01:30:52,600 --> 01:30:54,352
Your Honour!
1169
01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:39,193
Your Honour!
1170
01:31:58,360 --> 01:32:00,669
- Your Honour!
- Get him!
96501
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