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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,149 (FINGERS SNAPPING) 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:07,474 COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:12,680 # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,914 # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,789 # But somehow they just don't end up as mine 6 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:28,314 # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances 7 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,950 # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,720 # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies 9 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,794 # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee 10 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:49,033 # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car 11 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:54,433 # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star 12 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,878 (FINGERS SNAPPING) 13 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:06,114 # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty 14 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,875 # It's true I hire my body out for pay 15 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,280 # Hey, hey 16 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:16,230 # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch 17 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:20,234 # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay 18 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:21,390 # Hey, hey 19 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:26,839 # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine 20 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,835 # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # 21 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,678 COMMENTATOR.' Well, folks, the clock is running down 22 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,797 on this last college bowl game of the year. 23 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,837 Many of the stellar players on these teams 24 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,673 will be reporting to pro teams in the next few weeks. 25 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,833 Certainly that is true of the terrific trio of exciting young draft picks 26 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,593 who have dominated this game, 27 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,958 Lemar Pruitt, Bubba Steinberg and Jimmie Joe Seavers 28 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,351 will be reporting in the next few days to the west coast, 29 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:11,514 where their presence could easily project California info playoff contention. 30 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,510 That was quite a stop we made in the metropolis of Golden Bluff. 31 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,274 Yeah, what's wrong, Bubba? No tenements and tar roofs? 32 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,271 Heck, I come from a town no bigger than that one. 33 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,193 No wonder you feel that a football team's like a home. 34 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,591 More than 30 people in one place at one time. 35 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,273 Oh, Lemar. Lemar liked that one. 36 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,273 Of course, Lemar doesn't have brains any bigger than a mosquito's. 37 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,549 BUBBA: Uh-oh. 38 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,870 - Now what did you do, Lemar? - I didn't do nothing. 39 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,918 That's them, Sheriff. 40 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,675 On your toes, big man. Your load of beef's coming at you. 41 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,472 Jimmie Joe, this must be one of your hometown superhighways. 42 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,597 Who paved it? Daniel Boone? 43 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,149 He talks. It's a miracle. The operation worked. 44 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,034 - What is this? - Oh, no. Not again. Now what? 45 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,751 You boys made a terrible mistake trespassing on government property. 46 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,069 Trespassing? Wait a minute. 47 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,437 Now, we hit a detour back there, and a deputy, he sent us up this way. 48 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,955 I don't know anything about detours or civilian authorities. 49 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,714 'Cause I only deal with federal property. 50 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,830 And it is a hefty crime to smuggle alcohol on an army base. 51 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,790 When I search the car, I'll probably find some drugs. 52 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,396 Hey, look, we're pro football players. We're not any rum runners or junkies. 53 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,475 Seems like you're big enough to be both of those. 54 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,550 Now get out of the car, we want to search it. 55 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,798 The hell I will. 56 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,032 It'll be hell if you don't. 57 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,677 Well, looky here. I guess what I read about you guys is true. 58 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,274 My goodness, you all use artificial stimulants. 59 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,113 Boy, this won't sit well with your coach. 60 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,150 HOWIE: Colt, I want to go in with you. He's my relative, too. 61 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,312 COLT: Come on. You two can't spend 10 minutes together without getting into a brawl. 62 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,676 You’ll just have to wait till I clear it with Jimmie Joe and the coach. 63 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,878 - I was invited to practice, not you. - But I'm Jimmy Joe's cousin. 64 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,031 Yeah, well, I'm older and I got seniority. 65 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,997 But I've always wanted to see a pro team practice. 66 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,198 It wouldn't look good if you got into a fight with the new wide receiver. 67 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,791 But Jimmie Joe and I don't fight any more. That was when we were kids. 68 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,518 You remember what happened at last year's reunion? 69 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,318 Yeah, but I'm a year older now. 70 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,232 Besides, you know we have a lot in common. 71 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,073 Yeah, about 10 stitches and 100 black eyes. 72 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,720 - Come on, Colt, I want to meet the players. - Let me check it out. 73 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,555 Besides, if Jimmie Joe sees you, he might get excited or even angry. 74 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,872 Personally, I think Jimmie Joe could take you. 75 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,349 Never. Not on his best day. 76 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,672 Look, Mr Seavers, I'm telling you that he didn't show up. 77 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,912 Now, he probably discovered that football stars attract all the women 78 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,991 and he's working on lesson number two right now. 79 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,390 That's not true, Coach. I spoke to Jimmie Joe two days ago. 80 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,118 He'd already left home and was headed here. 81 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,794 He wouldn't miss a chance with this team. He's worked too hard for it. 82 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,554 I don't know about that. All I know is that he's not here. 83 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,280 Hey. Move out there, will you? 84 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,512 Pump those legs. You're not in college any more. 85 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,715 - Look, these things happen, you know. - Yes, but not to my cousin. 86 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,155 And what about Lemar Pruitt and Bubba? 87 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,390 They were traveling with him. Where are they? 88 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,632 Well, they're all together. They didn't show up either. 89 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,473 Didn't show up? You're telling me that you got a million bucks' worth of talent 90 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,312 wandering around somewhere and you're trying to convince me 91 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,550 that that's perfectly normal? I don't accept that. 92 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,278 Yeah, I've heard about you from Jimmie Joe. 93 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,478 You're a stuntman and some kind of a part-time cop. 94 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,870 Why don't you just let it lay for about a week? 95 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,396 Let it lay? My cousin disappeared and you want me to forget about it? 96 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,677 Trust me. It'll be better for everyone concerned. 97 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:31,720 I care about those kids, too. They'll be back. No harm done. 98 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:32,995 But that's not good enough. 99 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,071 We're not talking about a borrowed lawnmower, you know. 100 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,833 Look, lay off me, pal. 101 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,150 I got a team out there that answers to this whistle. 102 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,151 You won't get past the line of scrimmage. 103 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,719 I think you're more worried about what I might do 104 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,156 than the fact that you got three top players missing. 105 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,709 Hendricks. Jones. Fouts. Come here. 106 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,309 Why don't you forget about this, huh? Everything's gonna be all right. 107 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,392 This gentleman doesn't realize that we're having a secret practice here. 108 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,791 - When did it become secret? - It just became secret. 109 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,832 You gotta go, fellow. 110 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,631 I just wanted to ask a couple of questions, fellows. 111 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,633 - What team are you a spy for? - I'm not a spy. 112 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,872 - Either way, you gotta go. - Now, how is it gonna be, boy? 113 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,749 As little as he is, we can probably spike him in the end zone from 50 yards. 114 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,877 Why don't you just center him to me for a punt? 115 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,600 Come on, fellows, you wouldn't hit a civilian wearing a football, would you? 116 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,875 I wouldn't. They might. 117 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,871 $20 says I can throw him farther than you. 118 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,271 - You haven't paid me for the last guy yet. - My chance to get even. 119 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,830 - Come on, guys, I don't want to play. - This is your chance to play with the pros. 120 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,275 I think I'll wait for the bonus. 121 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,230 Hey! You got our football. 122 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,551 He throws a better spiral than you do. 123 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,110 You guys want to practice or are you figuring on another strike? 124 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,589 Come on, let's get out there and work, huh? Come on, move, move. 125 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,035 Next time, throw out your own spies. 126 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,194 Marge, in my Rolodex there's a number 127 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,797 of a Master Sgt Gleason, Golden Bluff, Texas. Connect me, will you? 128 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,559 (PHONE RINGING) 129 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,075 Sgt Gleason here. 130 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,673 There's a man by the name of Colt Seavers 131 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,478 who's gonna be Looking for Jimmie Joe, 132 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,439 and he strikes me as the kind of man who's liable to find him. 133 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,749 Well, he'd better not. 134 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,070 Look, consider yourself lucky I was able to keep this incident 135 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,231 and your players' names out of the papers. 136 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,311 The sheriff here is a hothead, and he'd just as soon 137 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,392 throw them in jail forever, but I think I can keep a lid on it. 138 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,993 So you just keep your people away from here. 139 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,798 No press. No fancy lawyers. 140 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,077 This is a small town. We like to handle things our own way. 141 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,673 I'll take care of these other two guys, 142 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,910 but I don't want to hear from anyone else out there. 143 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,719 You're gonna get them back in eight days in their same condition. 144 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,589 All right, we'll do it your way. But I'm not responsible for Colt Seavers. 145 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:01,795 Good. 146 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,035 So, last year, when I visited Jimmie Joe and drove back to LA, 147 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:19,910 I stopped for gas at Apache Valley, Golden Bluff and Dallas. 148 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,196 Now that's a start. We can backtrack from there. 149 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,716 I mean, three big football players in a convertible had to have been noticed. 150 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,713 Three football players? Well, maybe I should go find them. 151 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,192 Hi, guys. Find who? I haven't even told you yet. 152 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,197 - No. - I haven't asked you anything yet, either. 153 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,157 You will, and it's still no. 154 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,835 Hi, this is Terri. Any messages? No messages? Are you sure? 155 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,834 Okay, okay, don't get upset. I know, I know, you speak perfect English. 156 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,752 (SAYING GOODBYE IN JAPANESE) 157 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,836 - Colt, please. - No again. 158 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,117 I'll offer a maybe. Maybe we should at least listen to her. 159 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,033 Why listen? I've got other things to do that are more important to me. 160 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,589 - I'm offering a lot of money. - I'll take it. 161 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,358 But first I've got a family problem I've got to take care of. 162 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,717 Oh, I'm sorry, Colt, is there anything I can do to help? 163 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,271 How much money did you bring along this time to bribe me with? 164 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,954 -$1,000. - Well, would you lend it to me? 165 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,909 Colt, why don't you just earn it? You could solve both our problems. 166 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,877 Never mind, never mind. 167 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,473 I've got $80. 168 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,515 Well... 169 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,916 I'm good for about $60 more. 170 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,991 Yeah, well, I've got about $31. 171 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:30,955 Urn... 172 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,917 How much do you really need, Colt? 173 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,312 $830 more. 174 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,710 Could make it an even thousand. 175 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,790 Let's get going. 176 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,672 GLEASON: Look, I know it wasn't your stuff, but the local sheriff don't. 177 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,991 Now, you gotta trust me to handle this to make you look good. 178 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:14,556 Sergeant, aren't you going to a whole lot of trouble just to win a football game? 179 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,359 To you, it's a football game, to me, it's got to do with my future. 180 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,196 - Sure don't understand. - You don't have to. 181 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,430 Your coach is doing me a little favor. 182 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,319 You and your friends are in my care for about a week. 183 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,549 You just train the team I got, and win the game. 184 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,520 Then you can sit back and think about your rosy future in professional football. 185 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,154 - Wilson. - Yes, sir? 186 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:44,118 Wilson, I've been looking over the profit margins at the NCO club. 187 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,158 Yes, sir. I know it's not as high as it usually is, 188 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,595 but I swear to you, sir, nobody's hand has been in the till. 189 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,479 The profits are down 20% over the month before. 190 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,473 That's money out of my pocket and yours, Corporal. 191 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,035 What kind of girls you got serving the drinks? 192 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,394 Well, same as last month, sir. 193 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,472 Well, then, we're gonna need some new recruits. 194 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,030 We might even need a new corporal to run the NCO club. 195 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,155 Yes, sir. 196 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,833 Let's check out the bar. 197 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,111 I'm just gonna wash up first. Save me a beer. 198 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,794 Well, they got plenty. Don't worry, this is Texas. 199 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,399 (PHONE RINGING) 200 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,558 All right, run that play again! 201 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,110 See if you can keep from running into each other. just keep working. 202 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,114 Sergeant Gleason here. 203 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:13,795 Yeah, that fellow Seavers, he's in town. He's in the tavern. 204 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,000 Fine. Now that we got our target located, 205 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,232 it's just a matter of a proper plan of attack. 206 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,550 I suggest you use Sue Mae. 207 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,436 She's the best-looking camouflage you got. 208 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,315 Great. 209 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,709 Hey, if you're coming back this way, 210 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,440 I could use a couple of beers and some conversation. 211 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,034 Yeah, well, we got plenty of beer. 212 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,470 Well, I just wanna... 213 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,073 (PHONE RINGING) 214 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:48,400 Tavern. Yeah, he's here now. 215 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,115 Okay, Sheriff. Yeah, no problem. 216 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,155 Well, I got a little time for you now, stranger. 217 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,470 I just want to ask you about some friends of mine, 218 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,517 may have come through here about three or four days ago. 219 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:08,276 You know, sometimes I got a good memory and sometimes I can't remember a thing. 220 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,437 Yeah, you know, I know just exactly what you mean. 221 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,593 I get spells like that myself. Here. Try this, it beats aspirin. 222 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,751 Beers are on the house. Now, what did you want to know? 223 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,754 Hi, y'all. 224 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:28,160 It's about my three friends. They're athletes, professional football players. 225 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,754 Might've stopped in, got some gas, had a couple of beers. 226 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,513 - I just wanted to know if you'd seen them. - Sure. 227 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,910 This is the easiest $20 I made all day. 228 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,073 Yeah, they were in here a couple of days ago and they had a big party. Then they left. 229 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,356 Hey, are you one of them football players, too? 230 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,351 - No, no, no. - No? 231 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,795 Yeah, I'll tell you, you ought to ask Sue Mae, 232 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,349 because she was with them for quite a while. 233 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,159 Excuse me, miss. My name is Colt. Could I speak with you a few minutes at a table? 234 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:01,473 Why not? I like looking at new faces. My name is Sue Mae. 235 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,279 Well, I'd offer you a beer, but I'm not sure you're as old as you are pretty. 236 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,113 I'm older and know a lot more than you think, Colt, 237 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,636 but I'll just sip on yours. It makes it more intimate. 238 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,550 Sue Mae, better get on home to your pa. 239 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:21,429 You've got a lot of studying to do if you expect to graduate from high school. 240 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,831 Now, I don't know what they call girls her age where you come from, boy, 241 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,833 but around here they're known as jailbait. 242 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,958 Well, where I come from, we call it "being had". 243 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,193 Come on, fellows, isn't there some way we can avoid this? 244 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,519 Kind of had that feeling. 245 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,110 Hold it! And I mean hold it! 246 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,195 Oh, that wasn't fair. He said, "Hold it." 247 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,478 There's one thing we don't put up with around here, troublemakers. 248 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,712 We haven't been charged yet, Terri, but the way things work around here, 249 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,791 I'm sure it'll be something interesting. 250 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,040 You got our two troublemakers tucked away nice and safe? 251 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,715 Sure have, Sheriff. They're chained to the wall, sharing a phone call. 252 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,314 Well, they're entitled to a phone call, ain't they? 253 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,879 When I say so. 254 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,476 Hey, now, did you get your lawyer on the phone? 255 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,398 No, it's a bail bondswoman and a friend. 256 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,395 -"Bail bondswoman"? - Yeah. 257 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,476 Let me talk to her. It might save us all a lot of grief. 258 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:18,311 Terri, I'm gonna put Sheriff Clemens on the phone, the arresting officer. 259 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,999 Before we have this conversation, Sheriff, 260 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,913 let's agree that a prisoner has a right to know what he's being charged with. 261 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,149 Agreed, ma'am. 262 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,677 How does aiding and abetting a juvenile in Lewd and Lascivious Lifestyle sound? 263 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,231 - Ridiculous. - The? ax)"; '2' ah'. 264 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,676 Causing a riot in a public place, resisting arrest. 265 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,229 And that doesn't include the charges with his friend, Munson. 266 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,549 I'm not a friend, I'm a relative. 267 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,074 - Let's talk bail, Sheriff. - Bail? There is no bail, ma'am. 268 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,310 These two have to appear in front of the county judge. 269 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,869 He's the only one that can set it. That should take about a week. 270 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,473 - A week? - A week? 271 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,597 We got a right to be charged now. 272 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,752 You call me back in about a week, I'll let you know what the bail is. 273 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,990 You can't keep us here a week. 274 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,310 - Well, now, that depends. - On what? 275 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,469 An Army sergeant and a football game. 276 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,989 What the heck's the Army got to do with this? 277 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,951 I don't know what exactly to do about it. 278 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,156 I find that putting pressure on small-town law enforcement 279 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,117 causes more grief than relief. 280 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,952 Well, you're just gonna let Colt sit it out in jail? 281 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,510 No. I intend to send someone down there to find out more about it. 282 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,476 Okay. I'll catch a plane to Dallas, I'll rent a car and drive to Golden Bluff. 283 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,030 - I'll see what they got themselves into. - All by yourself? 284 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,919 - You want to come? - Yes, but I can't. 285 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:46,552 Well, I'll just have to take your credit card. It'll be just like having you there. 286 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,631 Well, what am I gonna do for money? 287 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,758 Use my credit card. But be careful. 288 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,031 Okay. Lock up when you go. 289 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,397 Kidnapping pro football players to win your game? 290 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:09,279 Aren't you being a little heavy-handed? Even for you? 291 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,034 It's "we", Clem. It's "we". 292 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,232 Now, didn't I declare all your competitors off-limits? 293 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,119 Didn't I put all your select spots on-limits? 294 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,398 - Yeah, but you took... - Listen, Clem, we're a monopoly. 295 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,432 You on the outside of the gates, me on the inside. 296 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,157 So why don't you just relax and let me get on with my work? 297 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,231 What happened to the "we"? 298 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,273 In spite of a nosy base commander, 299 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:42,991 I have managed to accumulate a whole warehouse full of questionable material. 300 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,195 I cannot deal with the other Army bases unless I visit them. 301 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,636 I win the football game, 302 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,792 and I become the representative for the whole western area. 303 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,475 I can make a tour of those bases, nobody to watch over me. 304 00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,391 According to my computer, that's $608,000. 305 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,999 What's my cut? 306 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,356 You'll get your usual fee for being a police escort. 307 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,751 This time I'll triple it. 308 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,757 - All right, let's see who can block, Bubba. - Okay. 309 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,754 Set, hut! 310 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:35,595 I don't know what you expect out of us, but this isn't much of a squad you gave us. 311 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,832 Well, we don't get the pick of the litter like we used to. 312 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,393 Set, hut! 313 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,149 We're gonna play your game 'cause the coach told us to, 314 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,631 but it doesn't mean we gotta like it. It doesn't mean we gotta like you. 315 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,835 (CHUCKLES) 316 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,594 Well, you got the rest of your life to hate me. 317 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,911 I just need you for a few more days to help me beat the enemy. 318 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,357 One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! 319 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,751 - How do we compare with all the rest? - We're number one, the very best. 320 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:05,910 - Who are these guys? - How do we march? 321 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,274 - On the double. -Where do we go? 322 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:08,714 - Where there's trouble. - The enemy, son. The enemy. 323 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,029 - Sound off. - One, two. 324 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,190 - Sound off. - Three, four. 325 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,352 One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four! 326 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,636 You've heard of the Green Berets, haven't you? 327 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,031 Well, these guys are called the Mean Berets. 328 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,353 Best damn soldiers the Army has ever trained. 329 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,319 Well then, why did you call them the enemy? 330 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,152 'Cause that is the team that you're playing, 331 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,390 and this is the battlefield. 332 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,395 JODY: Hello? 333 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,475 Colt? 334 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,555 Howie? 335 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,595 You don't know either of us. You're not looking for us. You never saw us, okay? 336 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,154 - Can I help you with anything? - No. 337 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:13,910 Yes. 338 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,556 (TEXAN ACCENT) Yes. Yes, you can, Deputy. 339 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,199 Herman, ma'am. Call me Herman. 340 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,070 Jody Banks. Pleased to meet you. I just got into town, 341 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:28,393 and, you know, it's too early for bed, so I thought I'd get a little nightcap. 342 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,917 Well, I thought I'd better come here and ask an officer of the law 343 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,311 where the safest place is for a girl like me to get a drink. 344 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,879 Well, I'll tell you, a lady as pretty as you are, 345 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,871 ought not to be drinking in a bar all by herself. 346 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,520 I'd be mighty honored to buy you one. 347 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,069 Well, there's a tavern right down the street, within walking distance, 348 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,913 and, well, I get off duty in 10 minutes. 349 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:52,235 Of course, if the tavern's not to your liking, I know a roadhouse has live music. 350 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,960 I got my pickup truck right there in the back. 351 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,759 Back? You mean behind that wall right there? 352 00:22:58,120 --> 00:22:59,235 Yeah. 353 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,919 Okay. Okay, I'll be waiting right out there. 354 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,200 (EXCITED SIGH) 355 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,991 Colt? Colt? Colt? 356 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,118 Where's your tool kit? 357 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,191 There's some hand tools in the side compartment. 358 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,350 Okay. 359 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,717 Hi. I sure didn't mean to keep you waiting this long. 360 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,155 Oh, well, I don't mind. You know, I kept myself busy. 361 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,231 Listen, why don't we just walk on down the street about a block? 362 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,719 We can have ourselves a drink, 363 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,950 and my apartment's right around the corner from the tavern. 364 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,350 Oh, well, normally I wouldn't mind, Herman, 365 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,991 but I think I'd much rather drive to that roadhouse you told me about. 366 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,514 You know, I'm thinking of settling down here 367 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,432 and I might want to find a job over there. 368 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,797 Well, I think that's great. You know, I like having you around. 369 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,555 You know, I bet I could even get you hooked up with a job at the Army base. 370 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,520 Now that Sgt Gleason, he's always looking for pretty girls for hostesses. 371 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,354 And the money's real good. 372 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,954 You know, my brother had a truck just like this, 373 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,680 and it would do a quarter of a mile in eight seconds. 374 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,277 Eight seconds? Shoot. That's walking. You ain't seen nothing yet. 375 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,879 What the hell? 376 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,076 - Good work, Deputy. Thanks a lot. - Hey! 377 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,312 - Great driving, Deputy. - On second thought, I think I'll walk. 378 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,959 But wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait a minute! 379 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,838 Where you 96"“)? 380 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:13,710 How'd you do that? 381 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,360 I switched the linkage on his transmission lever. 382 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,035 - You're sensational. - I'm rich, too. I've got Terri's credit card. 383 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,390 - Well, now, even I never pulled that one off. - Well, it takes practice. 384 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,836 - So, what do you have in mind? - Well, the Army base. I gotta get in there. 385 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,629 Colt, I passed it on the way in. It's got an 8-foot electrical fence. 386 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,199 Okay, here's what we try for. 387 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,430 You'll be doing a marathon drive, but I think you can do it. 388 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,989 You gotta make Dallas and back tonight. 389 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,436 There's a studio there. I want you to contact a man named Harry Thomason. 390 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,160 Tell him I'll need Big Bertha and a mounting platform. 391 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,277 In the morning, stop at the Army surplus store. 392 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:48,874 Pick up a couple of sets of Army fatigues. You got that? 393 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,030 I got it. 394 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,031 Are you gonna really try and get on that Army base? 395 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,714 No, we are. You’ve just been drafted. 396 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,997 - Okay. All set. - It's a wonder we won the war. 397 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,038 - I'd rather be in the Navy. - Well, you'd just get seasick. 398 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,955 Are you so sure that Jimmie Joe is on that base? 399 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,918 Well, he's not in the town jail. 400 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,959 The Sheriff did offer us a deal with Sgt Gleason. It all adds up. 401 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,590 Well, even if he is there, what can we do? 402 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,240 Well, we're gonna end run him right out of there. 403 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,236 700 pounds. just right. 404 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:59,359 - Howie, where are you? Howie? Howie? - Colt. Up here. 405 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,877 How'd you get up there with 700 pounds? 406 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,873 700? I thought you said 1,100. 407 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,792 Would you come on down? 408 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:26,239 This is Price. We've got two intruders in Sector 3. Request assistance. 409 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,510 Colt! Come out of that ditch! 410 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:55,517 COLT: Hold your fire. Hold your fire. Hold your fire. We surrender. 411 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:11,155 There's easier ways to do things, fellows. You could have just enlisted. 412 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,679 - Hey, Colt. What are you doing here? - Well, I was looking for you. 413 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,273 Now, what the hell are you doing in that football gear? 414 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,590 I'm not exactly sure, but I talked to Coach Huey 415 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,478 and he said to go along with this for a week or so. 416 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:35,630 Go along with what? 417 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,872 You just worry less about your cousin and more about your own problems. 418 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,156 Sergeant. Sergeant, look, we might have a chance 419 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,560 to play a decent game after all. 420 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,234 You see, Colt here played quarterback in college for three years. 421 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,358 He was headed for the pros, but, well, he had a bad knee. 422 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,750 - So? - So, look, this is a chance 423 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,069 at something that I always wanted. 424 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,559 You get yourself a quarterback, 425 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,439 and I finally get to play on the same team with Colt. 426 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,071 - What about him? - Who? Howie? 427 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:04,677 Now, Howie's all right, but, you see, Howie's a Munson and not a Seavers. 428 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,197 - And glad of it. - Hey, now don't be pushing me. 429 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,350 I'm warning you. Don't you... 430 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,273 All right. All right. You go on back to the practice field. 431 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,397 - You two stand fast. - All right. 432 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,280 What is he doing here? And what's all this about a football game? 433 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,759 Well, him and his friends got arrested 434 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,151 for trespassing on an Army base with a bag of drugs. 435 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:23,839 Come on, I don't believe that. 436 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,673 Well, maybe Jimmie Joe didn't have anything to do with it, 437 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,037 but I could sure make a good case against all of them. 438 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,112 Of course, there'd be a lot of publicity. 439 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,272 You can either get a lawyer or you can play football for me. 440 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:41,560 Symbolically speaking, the ball is now in your hands. 441 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,518 Thirty-six. Hup one. Hup two. Hup three. 442 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,031 Come on, guys. Come on. Try it again. 443 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,075 Count of three. 444 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,079 That's it. Hup one, hup. 445 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,630 - Thirty-six. Hup one, hup two. - Come on, Mike, snap it on one. 446 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,358 We can't play without the ball. 447 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,474 Hup one, hup two. 448 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,310 Come on, guys, block! 449 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,757 Okay, guys, gather up. 450 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,474 Like the enthusiasm. I can't say I like the practice. 451 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,110 It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. 452 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,033 A little more hard work, and I think we can get it together. 453 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,471 Here comes the enemy. 454 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,194 (CHANTING) 455 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:43,759 - How do we march? - On the double. 456 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,399 - Where do we go? - Where there's trouble. 457 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,393 - That's the team we're supposed to play? - That's the team. 458 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,075 - One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four! - One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four! 459 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,514 About face! 460 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,514 Jumping jacks. Ready. Begin. - I'm too young to die. 461 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,194 Hell, I'm too old to die. All right, that's it, fellows. 462 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,393 You don't expect this bunch to play them, do you? 463 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:13,314 Play them? I expect you to beat them. You got it? 464 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,914 Keep it up. One, two... 465 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,594 - What you doing? Keep it up. join the ranks. - Captain? 466 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,114 You come to offer me a forfeit? 467 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,476 No, Sergeant. I was going to suggest a cancellation. 468 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,154 I don't like to see soldiers injured for no reason. 469 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,517 You've got a few flashy players on your team, but they don't stand a chance. 470 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,113 Where'd these guys come from, anyway? 471 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,840 We're re-processing them out of japan. 472 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,957 Don't worry, the game will go off as scheduled. 473 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,680 - There's no reason for it. - There is a reason for it. 474 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,070 I want to go on this tour as much as you do. 475 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,913 Well, I want it for the sake of the service and the sport. 476 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,594 Knowing you, I doubt if your motives are as pure. 477 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:51,913 Maybe some of your officers and gentlemen aren't so pure either, sir. 478 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,237 - I may cancel this game. - Go ahead. 479 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,551 I'll claim a forfeit and I'll go on the tour anyway. 480 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,712 We'll play. Dismissed. 481 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,317 Well, you heard enough to know one thing. 482 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,438 Yeah, that the Captain has good taste in his judgement of men. 483 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:16,879 Funny. But you better win this game or you and your relatives will be missing in action. 484 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,159 Captain Jones has got a thing for my scalp. 485 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,551 So, I don't want the goods on the base any longer than they have to be. 486 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,792 -Win or lose, we gotta move them. - Well, you ready for another? 487 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,556 Well, now that is what I call pretty. 488 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,432 - What's your name, girl? - Well, you can call me Jody, Sergeant. 489 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:55,276 Pretty name, too. Well, Jody, you know the rules and the cut you get, 490 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,991 so if you swivel around a lot, you can make a nice dollar for both of us. 491 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,271 Well, I'll be sure to do that, Sergeant. 492 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,872 Sure, we can out-pizzazz them for a quarter or two, 493 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,112 but sooner or later they're gonna figure out all we got is a four-man team. 494 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:13,520 - Five. - Four and a half. 495 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,671 It's you and me, Jimmie Joe. It's gonna happen. 496 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,116 - You don't see me leaving town. - Hey, I don't see anybody leaving town. 497 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,512 Will you two cool it till I find you a friendlier place to fight in? 498 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,159 Now, I can only handle one problem at a time, 499 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,471 and that's figuring out a game plan and then an escape plan. 500 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,311 - Okay, what'll it be, boys? - Beer. 501 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,993 - The same. - What are you doing here? 502 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,718 Listen, I got to talk to you. 503 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,352 Corner, by the slots. 504 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,514 - Want me to come along? - No, stay here. 505 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,037 Okay. Don't ask a lot of questions, but besides watering the whiskey, 506 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,159 Gleason, that sergeant over there, they've offered me everything from Swiss watches 507 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,915 to Japanese cameras. Tax-free and wrapped in brown paper. 508 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,956 They seem to have quite a business going. But why kidnap football players? 509 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:07,633 - Maybe they're looking for endorsements. - I wish I was in the mood to laugh. 510 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,794 - Who's the guy with Gleason? - Oh, he's one of his salesmen. 511 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,759 He offered me French champagne and Cuban cigars. 512 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,989 Can you give me some cover with the MPs? I want to keep an eye on that guy. 513 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,277 - What do you want me to do? - Use our game plan, dazzle them. 514 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,556 Nobody appreciates an IQ any more. 515 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,476 Oh, boys, I need to use this telephone right over here. 516 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,471 Can you give me some spare change? 517 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,117 Thirty-six. Hup one. 518 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,635 Thirty-six. Hup one. Hup two. Hup three. 519 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,916 They're finally starting to look like a team out there. 520 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,514 Maybe for a high school or a junior college team. 521 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,955 Gleason ought to be put in jail for booking this game. 522 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,351 Yeah, Gleason ought to be put in jail for a lot of reasons. 523 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,114 Yeah, we gotta report him to the authorities. 524 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,639 Great statement, jimmy Schmo. Gleason is the authorities. 525 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,711 It's jimmy Joe, not jimmy Schmo. 526 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,633 - That's debatable at best. - Hey, I'll... 527 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:21,835 Come on. 528 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,237 You know, if we had a half a dozen guys that would fight like these two, 529 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,358 -we'd win against the All-Stars. - I believe that. 530 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,598 But it doesn't change our situation. 531 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,320 Sometime before we finish this game, we've got to finish Gleason. 532 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,960 - Come on, we can't win that game. - Maybe. 533 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,477 But at least we can try to beat Gleason. 534 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,831 - How do we do it? - Well, now that I got a team, 535 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,355 I guess I gotta come up with a game plan. 536 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,995 ANNOUNCER: Hello again, everybody, this is Chick Hearn, 537 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,038 and this afternoon's football broadcast is being aired closed-circuit 538 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,634 to all military bases in the southern district. 539 00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,792 And this announcer would like to apologize. It has been his... 540 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,791 Colt, we're gonna need some splints and crutches. 541 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,315 Well, think positive. Settle for Band-Aids and iodine. 542 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,754 Okay, the only chance we got is to score first, fast and keep scoring. 543 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:13,516 We're receiving. We'll run the kickoff to the left, reverse to Jimmie Joe. 544 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:15,279 ...a calculator to keep track of the score 545 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,033 -that will be run up by the Mean Berets... - Yes, sh. 546 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,555 -. . . against Golden Bluff - Let's go get them. 547 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,153 - Okay, let's go. -...has been given to both teams, 548 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,117 they come out on a good day for football. 549 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,396 There's no wind, maybe just a little bit warm, if anything. 550 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,677 - I know what my deal is if you win the game. -The toss has been won by Golden Bluff“ 551 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,434 - What happens if you lose? -...and they have elected to receive. 552 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,399 I don't lose. We lose. 553 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,393 ...but each one seems to have a special intent on the ball game. 554 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,676 Number 20 will do the kicking. His name is Jackson. 555 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,876 Those to receive: Number 33, Lemar Pruitt, 556 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,430 and Number 45, Colt Seavers. There's the run-up on the kick. 557 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,796 And they're on their way. Jackson got a lot of toe in that one. 558 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,757 He takes I': down to about the 18-yard line. 559 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,832 Hey. There's a cross-back. Handing the ball off to Colt Seavers. 560 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,240 Hey, what the... 561 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,392 After passing the ball to Number 84, Jimmie Joe Seavers. 562 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,515 Gotta talk to you, Captain. 563 00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,749 Here? Now? 564 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,478 I don't have time to call ahead for an appointment. 565 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,119 A good block thrown by Bubba Steinberg. 566 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:04,270 Go! Go! 567 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,430 There are more important things, 568 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,511 like your Sgt Gleason running a prison camp on this base. 569 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,034 He's not my Sgt Gleason. 570 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,954 - You just cost me a touchdown. - Yeah. I'll be back on the next end sweep. 571 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,431 ...and now Golden Bluff leading 7-0. 572 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,639 The kickoff. Bolger kicks that ball high and far. Jackson, Number 20, 573 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,360 heads to the 9. He's up to the 15, the 20. 574 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,033 He cuts back across the gridiron, 575 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,112 and he gets all the way out to about the 52-yard line. 576 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,157 It's third and short. Good block! 577 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,992 Number 44, the fullback Williams, has the ball. 578 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,960 He cuts back, and it's a free run of 16 yards for the score. 579 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,194 Hup one. Hup two. 580 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,794 Down at 6, Number 45, Colt Seavers. 581 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,190 He wants to go to Howie Munson. He's got him at the 6. 582 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:52,197 - All right! - All right! 583 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,150 The Berets' Jackson sweeps to the right and cuts back to pick up four yards. 584 00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:58,753 Oh, he's down on the 27. 585 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,639 All right, guys, I need to talk to the Captain again. 586 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,231 - Quick pitch left on two. Ready? - Break. 587 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,517 ...in the backfield and he seems to have the attention of all his teammates. 588 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,511 He'll go this time on a short run, we think. 589 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,836 - Hut two. Hut three. -7'he same as he did in the first quarter. 590 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:16,038 The ball is back to Munson, who leads the left side. 591 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,317 You better tell me what you want before you kill me. 592 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,789 - I want you as a witness. - To what? You steamrolling me? 593 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,632 Getting Gleason. I got a plan. 594 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:26,439 When I put it into effect, I want you to follow it and see what goes down. 595 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,272 Then I want you to take whatever action you want. 596 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,829 Iadies and gentlemen, than we thought we would have for you. 597 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,672 Anything that'll muzzle Gleason is okay with me. 598 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,832 We're coming back for the second quarter, and we know that you're going to enjoy it. 599 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,672 I apologize for the beginning of the broadcast, 600 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,478 because this is a much better football game... 601 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,518 - I think it's time for Howie to get injured. - Good. 602 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,716 Hey, hey. Come on, save it. 603 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,357 Sprint right pass, on two. 604 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,512 ...were swatting at each other. I don't know what that's all about. 605 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,911 Munson splits out to the right side. Pruitt's in the slot. 606 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,150 - Colt Seavers in the back. - Hut one. Hut two. 607 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,389 Is he going to the air? Yes, he is. He's looking for Munson. He hits him. 608 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,437 A very nice pass. 609 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,433 - MUNSON: My Leg! - Yeah, I think he? hurt over there. 610 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,909 Looks like a leg injury for Munson. 611 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,559 - Get in there. - And Munson is a very valuable mg 612 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,235 in the lineup of the Golden Bluff 11, as you well know. 613 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,630 Number 81 is going to come in to replace him. 614 00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:18,757 Boy, there is a tough break for Golden Bluff, 615 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,751 it Munson can't get back into the contest. 616 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,559 You better heal quick, boy. I need you back in the game. 617 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,349 Gets a little bit of a pep talk, I guess, over on the far sideline. 618 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,710 -1 can'? hear what the man's saying, but... - Come on! Come on! 619 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,074 - Munson gets up. - Let's go. 620 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,800 Hut one. Hut two. Hut. Hut. 621 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:38,230 Colt Seavers jumps back into the pocket. He throws to Pruitt. It's complete. He's hit. 622 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,630 It pops in the air and it's picked off. 623 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:44,679 Number 41, Weaver, has it and he is finally hit and pulled down at the 55. 624 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,035 - Have you got anything spotted? - Well, there's a half-track. 625 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,636 - Can you drive one? - That's an armored personnel carrier. 626 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,189 I took two years of ROTC at the University of... 627 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,998 - Okay. - What about those two guys? 628 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,593 YOU got a plan? 629 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,638 From the enemy 40-yard line, it's Jackson back to throw. 630 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:21,314 Behind the defenders, it's Number 34. He's got him at the six. 631 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,391 He's in for a touchdown! 632 00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,833 (CLEARING THROAT) 633 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,593 Excuse me. 634 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:56,119 Hey! Come back with that truck. Hey! Where you going with that? 635 00:41:56,200 --> 00:42:00,910 Come back here! Bring that truck back! Come here! Hey! Hey! 636 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,873 ...28-27, Golden Bluff in the dark-blue jerseys, 637 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,839 20 seconds left. Hey, watch this. It's an onside kick. 638 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,912 Lucas was lined up to kick, Bolger stepped in front and kicked the ball. 639 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,630 How lucky, or whatever you want to call it, can Golden Bluff be? 640 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:17,280 Their man, Number 46, Gordon, recovered the ball. 641 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,591 Okay, guys, this is the one we've been looking for. 642 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:25,595 - Let's play give-away on two. Ready? - Ready. 643 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,399 Give me a hand. 644 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,155 ...it's unbelievable. Col': Seavers, the quarterback, 645 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,231 and he's going to have to look for the big play here 646 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,469 or give up the football. 647 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:39,157 He's distracted momentarily by a military vehicle appearing in the gridiron. 648 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:41,516 Hup one, hup two. 649 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,958 Colt Seavers gives the ball back to Jimmie Joe. 650 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,316 He fires to Lemar Pruitt, who throws the other way. 651 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:51,951 It's complete. Then it goes to Colt Seavers, and he takes it in. I don't believe it. 652 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,236 He took it in for an intentional safety. 653 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,676 And that means the Mean Berets have won the football game. 654 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,434 The score is 29-28. 655 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,080 Yes, only 100 people here, but every one of them 656 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,834 -with a glazed look on his or her face. - Come on. Wilson, inflow us. 657 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:10,997 - Let's go, men. -...no one 1?? his right mind 658 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,991 would ever throw the ball back to the enemy territory, 659 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,469 knowing they would lose the game. 660 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,518 But they did. That's exactly what happened, ladies and gentlemen, 661 00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,240 and unless you were here to see it, you could never believe it. 662 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,511 The final score is Mean Berets 29-28. 663 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,240 Squad tars are whistling out of here now, fol[owed b y jeeps. 664 00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,472 Next they'll have tanks, I think. But no thanks to who won the game. 665 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,036 All right. Arrest them. 666 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,476 Yeah, for what? Destroying stolen government property? 667 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,918 - You'll never leave here. - You will, Sgt Gleason. 668 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:14,559 If this material is what I think it is, 669 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,756 you'll be spending the rest of your tour of duty in Leavenworth. 670 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,958 - Well, all right! - Have some champagne, Jimmie Joe. 671 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,872 Hey, hey! (GRUNTS) 672 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,319 When these fellows are finished, I'd kind of like to have my carrier back. 673 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,870 Yeah, well, I'd be patient, Captain. This could last for a while. 674 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,837 BUBBA: Come on, boy, lean into it. 675 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,957 You're supposed to have muscles in those arms. 676 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,237 Which one are you talking to, Bubba? I'll yell at the other one. 677 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,190 Howie, get your elbow on the table. 678 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:59,360 - Jimmie Joe, back in your chair. - Hey, a beer? 679 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:00,555 Why not? 680 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,949 I'm supposed to be in training. You got any milk? 681 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,954 Well, Colt's never in the house long enough to keep it fresh. 682 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,509 - Come on, have a beer. -just remember, 683 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,754 I was forced. 684 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,390 At least they can't throw you in the stockade for it. 685 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,790 But then, you could tip glasses with your Sgt Gleason. 686 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,795 Hey, that place ought to thin him down a little. 687 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,951 You know, I'd love to buy his golf cart, though. 688 00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,793 - Think he'd do business with me? - No, but Sheriff Clemens would. 689 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,117 He's going to need a load of cash to pay for his lawyers, 690 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,918 and he don't have a job no more. 691 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,194 Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to concentrate. 692 00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,760 You need a brain to concentrate. 693 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,392 I have a special prize for the winner. 694 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,714 I did it! I won! That proves who's superior. 695 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,874 - Did she say what I thought she said? - Relax, kid. She just baked a cake. 696 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,353 - A cake? - A cake.62161

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