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1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:06,093
[ Birds chirping ]
2
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:14,579
♪♪
3
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:17,147
So, I was able to find the keys.
[ Chuckles ]
4
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,106
They were in the dishwasher
of all places.
5
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:21,064
Turn on,
you piece of shit!
6
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:24,154
So, uh, we don't usually
rent the place right
after the music festival
7
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:25,460
'cause it takes me
a few days to clean up,
8
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,288
but it was in
pretty good shape...
9
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,072
except for a spill on the floor
that looked like,
10
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,900
but certainly didn't taste like,
guacamole.
11
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,206
Do you care
what card I use?
12
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,729
Actually, it's my mother's
beach house,
13
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,426
so if there's no paper trail,
then I can put this money
14
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:39,604
right into my wedding fund,
so cash is king -- or queen.
15
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,172
The cultural landscape's
shifting so fast, I don't
know what's right anymore.
16
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,305
All right, there you go.
That's, uh --
17
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,220
Look, do you have a phone
that I could borrow
18
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,569
to call
technical support?
19
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,788
I-I really have to get
this thing working.
20
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,399
Sure.
You can use mine.
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:54,315
♪♪
22
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,273
Hey, um...
23
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,884
still no results
from my paternity test?
24
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:01,626
Nothing yet.[ Cellphone buzzes ]
25
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:07,719
But I was just about to go home
and check my mail.
26
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,809
♪♪
27
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,420
[ Ringing ]Ugh.
28
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,204
Hello, and welcome
to customer support.
29
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,293
My name
is Jason Richardson,
30
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,773
and I look forward
to helping you solve
31
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,775
whatever problems
you are experiencing.
32
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:21,733
May I ask who I have
the pleasure to be talking to?
33
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,432
No. No, no, no. My
phone won't turn on.
That's all you need to know.
34
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,435
I spent $1,000 on this thing
and it's a Goddamn...
35
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,915
I'm going to Burger King.
You want anything?
36
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,309
Well, as much as I would enjoy
a Masala Chicken Whopper,
37
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,616
my wife has prepared
too much Mulligatawny soup.Ah.
38
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:38,272
That means, I carry the burden
of not letting it go to waste.
39
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,276
...just the stupid thing
won't turn on!
40
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,974
Yes, sir, I understand
that you are...
41
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,149
distressed.
42
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,064
I'm sure
I can help you today.
43
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,154
Please tell me exactly what
problems you are experiencing?
44
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:54,549
I just did!
Do you speak English?
45
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:58,335
I do speak English.
Thank you for asking, sir.
46
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:02,513
I...was...trying...
to...update...
47
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,776
the...latest...
software...
48
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:10,434
and...now...my...phone...
won't...turn...on.
49
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,610
If I'm
understanding you, sir,
50
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:17,137
you...were...trying...
to...update...
51
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,139
the...latest...
software,
52
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:24,274
and...now...your...phone...
won't...turn...on.
Bingo!
53
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,885
Which means, I can't get my
photos, I can't get my videos,
54
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,801
I can't get access to Facebook,
Instagram, Twitter...
55
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:32,543
I'm done with the microwave
if you need to heat up
56
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:35,416
your stinky soup.Oh, thank you.
Is that a new blouse?
57
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,548
I stole it
from my sister.
58
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:40,682
...not to mention
Snapchat.
59
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,945
Yes, sir, I am aware of all
the wonderful applications
60
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:45,687
that are available to share
one's life experiences.[ Sighs ]
61
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,341
I'm going to talk
to my supervisor
62
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,865
while I put you
on a brief hold.
63
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,693
What?
No. No, no, n--
64
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:53,738
Hey.
[ Snaps finger ]
65
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,959
Hey, I got a cab waiting for
me outside and I don't want
to lose my place on hold.
66
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,962
Um, can I maybe just borrow
your phone for a while?
67
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:02,965
I'll, uh -- I'll swing you
an extra $20?Yeah, why not?
68
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:06,229
But if my podiatrist calls,
just tell him, "It's back."
69
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,709
He'll know
what that means.
70
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:15,064
♪♪
71
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:18,807
That'swhy Nikki always leaves
the room whenever I'm around.
72
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,157
She's freaked out
'cause I'm her baby's father.
73
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,507
Oh! I thought
I just had bad breath.
74
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,380
Holy shit.
I can stop flossing.
Mm-hmm.
75
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:29,165
You need to figure out
what you're gonna do.I know.
76
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,211
My life is never gonna be
the same.
77
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,691
Without flossing,
I can sleep in longer,
78
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,389
my gums aren't gonna bleed
all the time,
79
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:38,174
I won't have to keep cleaning
off my rearview mirror.
80
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,871
Yeah, no, I was talking
about the baby.
81
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,439
You know, once it grows muscles
and gets all hot,
82
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,224
Tommy's gonna know
it isn't his.
83
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,834
You gotta leave town.
84
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,401
I can't just leave.
85
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:50,491
I know moving to a new place
can seem scary,
86
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:54,277
but that is why I am willing
to go with you.
87
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:57,193
Look, I appreciate you
looking out for me,
88
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,499
but I have a son now.
89
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,805
I need to be around
in case he needs me.
90
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:05,636
♪♪
91
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,944
This might just be
the best day of my life.
92
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,598
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:14,036
[ Blowing ]
94
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:20,303
♪♪
95
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,653
Uh, you have someone
on hold.
96
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,438
Oh, yes, I put him on hold
after Essha
97
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,440
told me
the microwave was free.
98
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,919
But when my soup
was reheating,
99
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,879
Yashvi started going on and on
about his weekend plans.
100
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,795
Next thing I knew,
I left my soup in too long.
101
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,363
Well, it took a good bit
of blowing to get it cool enough
102
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,321
to carry,
let alone to slurp.
103
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,714
He's been on hold
for quite some time.
104
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,324
Navdeep, you have
to pick that up.
105
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,761
No, no, no.
He's going to be very mad.
106
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,807
He's a spoiled brat
having a temper tantrum
107
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,635
because he can't post
his food selfies
108
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,985
and his basketball
trick shots.
109
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,379
♪♪
110
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:53,684
Hello, there, sir.
111
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,556
[ Toilet flushes ]No, I'm here! I'm here!
112
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:58,472
Hello?
Just hold on!
113
00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,169
Yeah, no! Geez!
I'm here!Are you there, sir?
114
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:02,867
[ Grunts, groans ]
115
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,870
Hello! Jason, I'm here!
I'm here.
116
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:09,439
H-Hello, there, sir. My
name is Albert Anderson.
How many I help you?
117
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,224
What do you mean "Albert"?
No, no, no. I was talking
to Jason Richardson.
118
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,835
He -- He already knows
what's wrong.
119
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:18,013
Uh, y-yes, sir, I-I understand
that you are...
120
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,363
uh...perturbed.
121
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,800
Uh, I am his supervisor,
and I'm here to ask you,
122
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,541
in your own words,
if you would not mind,
123
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:27,239
describing what problem
you're experiencing.
124
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,937
I'm experiencing a phone
that doesn't work.
125
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,548
I updated the software
on an airplane and --[ Doorbell rings ]
126
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,985
[ Cellphone buzzing ]Uh, sir, I hate
to interrupt you,
127
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,553
but I want to check our
system to see if this
is a common problem.
128
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,033
What? No! I just --Please hold.
129
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,861
[ Buzzing continues ]
130
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,081
[ Cellphone beeps ]Hi, Jasmine. I can't
talk right now. I'm working.
131
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,996
It's time.
132
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,868
Now?
Now.
133
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,959
Okay, um...
134
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:54,789
let me finish up here,
and, uh, I-I'll be right over.
135
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:55,920
[ Cellphone beeps ]
136
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,446
...companies need to stop
putting their call centers
137
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,404
in places where they can't
even figure out plumbing.
138
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,188
I mean, this idiot is probably
putting me on hold
139
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:06,670
to take a leak in the same river
where he's doing his dishes!
140
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,846
I mean,
it's absolutely ins--
141
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,500
[ Keys clacking ]
142
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,328
What are you doing?
143
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,417
Transferring this asshole
to my cellphone.
144
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,201
Let's see just how
desperate he is
145
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,508
to start getting likes again.
-...melting all the ice caps.
146
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,857
-It's absolutely ins--
-Just a few more minutes, sir,
147
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,729
and please remember
to stay on the line
148
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:25,428
so we don't have
to start over.
No. D--
149
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,349
[ Telephones ringing,
indistinct conversations ]
150
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,307
[ Sighs ]
151
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,097
[ Sighs ]
152
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,141
Too cold.
153
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:52,760
♪♪
154
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:58,853
♪♪
155
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,376
Who are you?
156
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,552
Becky. Who are you?
157
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,075
Vali.
158
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,165
Hey.
Hey.
159
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,602
Who is this?
160
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,168
-Becky!
-Yep.
161
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,214
I was babysitting at the hotel
when the nurse called.
162
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:15,173
-Is the nurse here?
-She went to get the drugs.
163
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:20,222
The, uh, medicine to make
Grandma feel better.
164
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,530
-How's she feeling?
-She's in bed, but awake,
165
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,488
if you want to spend
some time with her.
166
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:26,794
She doesn't want to talk
about dying,
167
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,709
so we've just been
playing board games.
168
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:33,714
Oh, uh, she's a little too weak
for Hungry Hungry Hippos.
169
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,716
So...
170
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,631
this is really
happening, huh?
171
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,415
She said she's ready.
172
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,852
I tried to call Mom and
Dad, but they don't get
service on the ship.
173
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,550
No, don't think
for one second the timing
174
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,290
of their Alaskan cruise
was an accident.
175
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,555
They knew this was coming.
They left this mess for us.
176
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,034
Are you on a call?
177
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,819
Uh, it's a work thing.
178
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:55,039
Just some asshole
I'm making stay on hold.Seriously?
179
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,738
This prick can't get on
Facebook and thinks it's
the end of the world.
180
00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,914
Meanwhile, we're dealing
with life and death.
181
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,394
Trust me,
he deserves it.
182
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,092
[ Cellphone beeps ]
183
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:07,574
-Are you still there, sir?
-Yes, I'm still here, waiting.
184
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:09,706
Where the hell
have you been?!
185
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,101
Sir, I think perhaps your phone
took on some moisture.
186
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,625
I'm going to need you
to find a bag of rice.
187
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,148
I don't have
a bag of rice!
188
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,673
I'm in a rental house!Oh, that's fine.
189
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,980
I'll keep you on hold while
you go to the grocery store...[ Chuckles ]
190
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:25,417
...and I will check in with you
periodically.
191
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,115
[ Cellphone beeps ]Aah!
192
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:33,817
♪♪
193
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:40,345
♪♪
194
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:41,956
[ Cellphone beeps ]
195
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,958
Hello, sir.
196
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:47,265
No. W-- Uh, w-who is this?
Where's Albert Anderson?
197
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:50,007
I've already explained
everything to Albert Anderson.
198
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,358
My name is Angela Peterson in
specialized technical support,
199
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,970
and I understand that you're
having some trouble today.
200
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,799
Yeah. Okay, look, A-Albert
told me to go get some rice,
201
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:01,323
so I'm almost
at the store.
Good.
202
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:04,500
In the meantime, I need to get
some information from you.
203
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,023
Could you read me
the serial number
204
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,896
off the back of your phone?
-Back of the ph-- Um...
205
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,899
Okay, yeah, it's,
um, "F," "V," 3 --
206
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:15,467
I need you to say the
name of an animal when
you say the letters.
207
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,600
Like, "F" is for fox.
208
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,689
That way, I can understand
your accent.
209
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,605
Y-- [ Scoffs ]
A-Are you kidding me?
210
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:26,174
I...I think you said,
"Are you kidding me?"
211
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,045
Uh, if that is
what you said, sir,
212
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:31,701
then, uh, no, I am not
kidding with you.
213
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,399
"F" as in fox.
214
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,445
"V" as in --
215
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:37,664
"V" as in --
216
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,839
Damn it.
I can't think of an animal
217
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,144
that starts
with the letter "V."
218
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:43,495
-No problem. I can wait, sir.
-Ugh.
219
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,628
♪♪
220
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,195
What the hell
are you doing?
221
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:50,590
Ugh, sweating my tits off
trying to eat this sausage.
222
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,593
Seriously, Suzy, it's like
the devil farted on this thing.
223
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,812
You asked for spicy,
you get spicy.
224
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:59,120
Bodhi told me about the
baby and you trying to get
him to leave town with you.
225
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,470
What are you up to?I miss him, okay?
226
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,993
It's all your fault.
227
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,430
If you hadn't given him that
stupid-ass van to live in,
228
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:06,693
we'd still be roommates.
229
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,869
I thought you were turning
over a new leaf.
230
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,654
Telling people's secrets,
meddling in people's lives --
231
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,525
this feels more like
Tickles than Vivian.
232
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,658
[ Mockingly ] "Feels more like
Tickles than Vivian."
233
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:16,964
Shut up.Just stay away from Bodhi
234
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,443
before I tell him
the truth about you.
235
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,750
Hey!
You say anything to Bodhi...
236
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:24,232
[ Cellphone buzzes ]...and I will stuff
your balls in your butt!
237
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,321
Hey, get this --
Your stepmother just threatened
238
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,541
to put my balls in my butt.
-Last digit is 3,
239
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,587
as in, uh,
three turtle doves.
240
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,980
Let me read that
back to you.
241
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:36,592
I have "F" as in fox,
"V" as in vulture.
242
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,247
[ Cellphone beeping ]Shit. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
243
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,553
Uh, the phone I'm on
is about to run out of battery.
244
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:42,903
Can you plug it in, sir?
245
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,556
No, I don't have a charger
for it! It's not my phone!
246
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,994
Oh, if you lose your place
in line, you'll have --
247
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:50,475
Start all over again.
I know. I know!
248
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,086
Put me on hold!
249
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:55,393
♪♪
250
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:58,919
[ Panting ]
251
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,530
[ Cellphone beeps ]
252
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,271
Is your brother here?
253
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,795
-He's in with her.
-Oh, all right.
254
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:09,364
Well, this will more
than do the trick.
255
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:12,759
♪♪
256
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,935
Make sure you inject
all of it.
257
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,067
What are you talking about?
I'm not doing it.
258
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,461
[ Chuckling ]
I'm not doing it.
259
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:23,378
She is asking for this.
It's the humane thing to do.
260
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,727
Which is why
261
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,687
I am accidentally
leaving this here
262
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:31,212
for her family
to do the humane thing.
263
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,997
No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
264
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,478
Who was that?[ Door closes ]
265
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,045
The nurse.
266
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,961
Okay,
where did she go?
267
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,745
Home.
268
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,313
She says
we have to do it.
269
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,358
♪♪
270
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,539
I think this has already
been decided.
271
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,107
We are not choosing
who k-k--
272
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,283
gives Grandma
her medicine
273
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,111
by whoever touches
their nose first.
274
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:03,113
I d-- I didn't even know
that was a thing!
275
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,550
Why don't you want
to give her her medicine?
276
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:08,075
We are just a little afraid
of needles, that's all.
277
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,468
Listen, if you're not going
to honor the nose thing,
278
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:13,036
then we need to figure
something else out.Rock, paper, scissors?
279
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,777
A-And tell me how rock,
paper, scissors is not stupid?
280
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,866
The nose thing doesn't
even have a name. That's
how stupid it is.
281
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,868
In what world is
a sheet of paper stronger...Hello?
282
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,218
Uh, yeah -- yeah, hello.
W-Who is this?
283
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,133
[ Arguing continues ]Becky.
284
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:26,267
Are you American? Please tell me
you're from America.
285
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,659
-New Jersey.
-I'm sorry,
286
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:30,575
just having a little trouble
hearing you.
287
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,752
Be quiet!
288
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,058
I'm on the phone.
289
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:37,495
Becky? Hello?
290
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,583
-Hey!
-Wh--
291
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,498
Hello, sir.
Uh, are you still there?
292
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,326
Yes, I'm here.
Put Becky back on.
293
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,807
I want to talk to Becky.
-Oh, unfortunately,
294
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,853
Becky is currently
assisting another customer,
295
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,594
but I want you to know that
I'm concentrating on your case.
296
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,161
Just hold a few more minutes.
-No, no, no.
297
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,772
Don't put me back on hold.
-Thank you.
298
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:53,990
[ Cellphone beeps ]
299
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:57,646
[ Muzak plays ]
300
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,430
Another Blue Moon?
301
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,954
Please.
302
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:09,266
Hey, Vivian, how would you like
the entire weekend off with pay?
303
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,615
[ Air hisses ]Excuse me?
304
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,574
Nikki's been pretty, uh,
stressed out lately,
305
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:16,012
so I, uh, wanted to surprise her
with a romantic weekend,
306
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,972
and I was wondering
if you would take Clark.
307
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,104
You want to give me
your baby?
308
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,367
Yeah, if you're cool with it.
I mean, he's super easy.
309
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:25,239
You just have to feed him
and change him
310
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,241
and keep him entertained
all day.
311
00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:29,547
I would love to take
your bab-- to babysit.
312
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,984
I would love to babysit.
313
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,637
Really?
Yeah.
314
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,030
Oh, thank you.
315
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,553
Okay, well, I will give you
the little guy tomorrow
316
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,772
after your lunch shift.
317
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,644
Can't wait.
[ Chuckles ]
318
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:43,300
♪♪
319
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,736
Not on my watch, Barbara.
320
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,347
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
321
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,748
[ Coughing ]
322
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,839
Oh, man.
I missed it.
323
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:04,104
Whoever knocks it over
does the deed.Let's do it.
324
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:10,980
♪♪
325
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:17,987
♪♪
326
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:24,951
♪♪
327
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,517
[ Whispers ] Boom.
328
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:34,569
♪♪
329
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:42,620
♪♪
330
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:50,715
♪♪
331
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:58,723
♪♪
332
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:06,775
♪♪
333
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,082
[ Clattering ]
334
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:18,047
Becky,
what did you do?
335
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,484
I gave your grandma
her medicine.
336
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:25,663
I'm not afraid of needles.
My brother is a diabetic.
337
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:28,536
I bet you God will make her
better real soon.
338
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:32,540
She was praying really fast
before she went to sleep.
339
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:36,152
♪♪
340
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:50,514
♪♪
341
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,299
[ Door opens ]
342
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:57,260
♪♪
343
00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:00,133
[ Door closes ]
344
00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:02,396
Did the coroner
come and get her?
345
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,615
They did.
346
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,313
I didn't know
whether or not to tip,
347
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:10,360
so I did,
and then it felt weird.
348
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,188
How's the little girl?
349
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,494
Fine.
350
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,886
Back with her family.
351
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:17,672
Has no idea
she murdered someone.
352
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,717
Hmm.
353
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,856
Grandma was really
something, huh?
354
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,641
Like no other.
355
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,166
Oh, my God.
Remember her old neighbor?
356
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:37,039
He would scream at me if my ball
even touched his grass,
357
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,824
and then Grandma would
make me go over and mow
his lawn for free.
358
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,653
[ Laughs ]
"Be kind to unkind people..."
359
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,743
Together: "...because
they need it the most."
360
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,051
Hmm.
361
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:54,448
♪♪
362
00:16:54,491 --> 00:17:00,062
♪♪
363
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,890
[ Cellphone beeps ]
364
00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:05,067
You still there, man?Yeah, still here.
365
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,634
What?
366
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:10,725
Okay, press the power button
and the two volume buttons
367
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,727
at the same time
for 20 seconds.
368
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:16,426
Then what?
Put it in a bucket of chicken?
369
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,080
Then it'll come back on.
370
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,256
Real-- Really?
That's -- That's it?
371
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,519
That's it.
[ Laughs ]
372
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,434
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God.
373
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,524
You saved me.
Thank you so much.
374
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,787
You're welcome.
375
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:33,356
And I'm sorry it took
me so long to realize
the right thing to do.
376
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,359
Oh, my God![ Cellphone beeps ]
377
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:40,189
Oh, Albert Anderson!
Yeah!
378
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:45,412
♪♪
379
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,588
And I was really struggling
380
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,547
with the right words
to say today,
381
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:53,420
but then I remembered
that a picture
382
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,856
is worth a thousand words,
383
00:17:54,899 --> 00:18:00,035
and thanks to Facebook,
Instagram, and Snapchat,
384
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,602
I've realized
I had everything I needed --
385
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,212
Well, almost everything.
386
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:06,781
I had a bit of a glitch
with my phone earlier today,
387
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,610
and I freaked out on some people
in India for a while.
388
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,394
[ Laughter ]
389
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:15,181
But, um...even though, uh,
390
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,793
I was being a jerk,
they helped me.
391
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:22,013
And thanks to one
very nice gentleman,
392
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,668
I give you...
393
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,193
my grandmother.
394
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,890
She was like no other.
395
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:33,242
♪♪
396
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,984
♪ My grandmother
was like no other ♪
397
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,160
[ Telephone rings ]♪ Too bad you didn't meet her
398
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,858
♪ Every day at 3:00,
she'd have G and T ♪
399
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,252
♪ At bridge
you could not beat her ♪
400
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,863
♪ Christmastime
she'd end up crying ♪
401
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:49,171
♪ Listening to Chevalier
402
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,652
♪ And I got 10 bucks
and a card each year ♪
403
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:54,698
♪ In September for my birthday
404
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,487
♪ My grandmother
didn't much bother ♪
405
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,402
♪ Too much about
being a granny ♪
406
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:05,579
♪ She didn't bake or knit,
she didn't give a shit ♪
407
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,668
♪ Us kids called her nanny
408
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,453
♪ In the summertime,
we'd visit her ♪
409
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:13,978
♪ Take the train
to Rhode Island ♪
410
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:16,024
♪ Westerly all east taxi
411
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,983
♪ Would pick us up
and we'd all pile in ♪
412
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,946
♪ My grandmother,
my sister, and my brother ♪
413
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:27,035
♪ And me all went to the ocean
414
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,864
♪ In her cabana there
in a big beach chair ♪
415
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:32,040
♪ She'd survey our commotion
416
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,521
♪ At the yacht club,
we'd get our grub ♪
417
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:38,351
♪ We had grinders
and grape sodas ♪
418
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,701
♪ What a dream --
popcorn, ice cream ♪
419
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:43,269
♪ Two weeks,
no junk-food quotas ♪
420
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,100
♪ My grandmother
would light up another ♪
421
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,886
♪ You know that cough of hers
was chronic ♪
422
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,149
♪ She didn't drink wine,
but she was just fine ♪
423
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,891
♪ With a nice tall
gin and tonic ♪
424
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,372
♪ Nanny had opinions
425
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:02,853
♪ Nanny wasn't prissy
426
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:05,116
♪ She took us in
despite our sins ♪
427
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,815
♪ Gave us cover
when things got tricky ♪
428
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:14,038
♪ My grandmother
was like no other ♪
429
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:16,127
♪ Too bad you didn't meet her
430
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,739
♪ Every day at 3:00,
she'd have G and T ♪
431
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,263
♪ At bridge
you could not beat her ♪
432
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,831
♪ Christmastime
she'd end up crying ♪
433
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:27,138
♪ Listening to
Maurice Chevalier ♪
434
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:29,706
♪ And I got 10 bucks
and a card each year ♪
435
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,534
♪ In September for my birthday
436
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:34,363
Nikki wants you
to have the baby.
What?
437
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,279
Yeah, she told Tommy
you were the father.
They had a huge fight.
438
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,761
Oh, no. Is Tommy pissed?
He's pissed, isn't he?
439
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,589
Furious!
You gotta leave town.
440
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:43,981
With the baby?
441
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:45,418
I don't know anything
about babies.
442
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,202
Don't worry.
I'm gonna help you.
443
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,856
Look, God doesn't give out
breasts like these
444
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:50,684
without some natural
mothering instincts.
445
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:51,946
We -- We have to leave
right now?
446
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,295
Can I at least say goodbye
to Eddie?
447
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,688
No. We don't have time.
448
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,080
Besides,
I think I heard him say
449
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,604
something about
leaving town himself.
450
00:20:57,647 --> 00:21:00,607
He didn't say goodbye to you.
So rude.
451
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:03,871
♪♪
33850
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