Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:12,186
♪♪
2
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,275
Mike:
Hi. My name is Mike.
3
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,059
[ Fly buzzes ] And while your house
is very nice,
4
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,626
this isn't going to be
a love letter
5
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,889
thanking you for
letting us stay here.
6
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,978
We usually come to the beach
twice a year --
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,458
a week
at the beginning of the summer
8
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,242
and a week at the end.
9
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,723
My wife's sister owns a place
right on the water.
10
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,159
Her husband is a lawyer.
11
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,249
My family and I rent a condo
12
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,816
on the other side
of the freeway
13
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:36,253
because I'm not a lawyer.
14
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,646
Guys, you've got to
pay attention.
15
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,604
You're -- You're dropping
everything.
16
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,433
How come Aunt Debbie
gets to stay on the beach?
17
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,869
Because Aunt Debbie
married well.
18
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,654
Lisa: Shh!
19
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,569
You want a dad who represents
multi-national corporations
20
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,179
in tort litigation?
21
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,312
Huh? Does that seem like
a fun dad to you?
22
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:55,142
♪♪
23
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,578
♪♪
24
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:59,015
[ Siren wails ]
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,846
♪♪
26
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:08,633
♪♪
27
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:13,464
♪♪
28
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,553
[ Coins clatter ]
29
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:19,862
[ Pigeon coos ]
30
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,257
Getting a new
credit card?
31
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,476
Hopefully.
Mine are maxed out.
32
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,739
Last week, I hit the limit
on my Target,
33
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,960
and this morning, I used up my
Chevron card buying groceries.
34
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,744
Tommy tore my cards up.
35
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:35,007
Apparently, we can't afford
my obsession with shoes
36
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,358
now that we have to
save up to get married
because we have a kid.
37
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,099
[ Scoffs ] Yeah.
38
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,318
Speaking of that, I'm totally
available to babysit --
39
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:42,754
if the baby's
already asleep
40
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,495
and you want to pay someone
to watch TV.
41
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,589
Hey.
Something's wrong with my phone.
42
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,157
Every time I call you, it goes
straight to my own voicemail.
43
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,593
Oh, no.
That's right.
44
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,334
After I dropped Clark
at your sister's,
45
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,249
I stopped at the phone store
to see about reducing our bill,
46
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,904
and after a brief, but spirited,
discussion on roaming charges,
47
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,471
I ended up canceling
my phone
48
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,603
and just had them forward
all my calls to yours.
49
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,127
Oh, and I bought
a churro.
50
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,693
I'm telling you that
'cause I feel guilty
51
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,217
about having a dessert
when it's not the weekend.
52
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,567
Wait, so, you're just not gonna
have a phone anymore?
53
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,569
Well, sure I will.
We'll just share yours.
54
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,137
[ Phone rings ]
55
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,836
-Hello?
-Is this Nikki Gooze?
56
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,490
Who's calling?Is it for me?
57
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,144
If it's a survey, don't hang up.
I actually enjoy those.
58
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,623
Shh.
59
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,886
This is Shyrell
from Colton Laboratories.
60
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,237
We received your DNA sample
and your cash, but you
didn't fill in your --
61
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,021
Yeah, um, actually,
we're not interested
62
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,457
in a home renovation
right now,
63
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,851
so, um, thank you so much
for calling, though.
64
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,899
[ Laughs nervously ]
65
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:44,468
Oh, also, we only get 15 texts
per month now, so...
66
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,253
make 'em count.
67
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:50,518
So, guys, I have a little
surprise for you.
68
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,781
I was thinking, when we come
back in a few months,
69
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:57,133
maybe we can get a house
on the beach, like Aunt Debbie.
70
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,181
This place
looks awesome.
71
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,313
[ Quietly ] Honey,
what are you doing?
72
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,315
A place like that -- that's
gonna cost an arm and a leg.
73
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,143
[ Quietly ] I'll figure it out.
Don't worry.
74
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,493
You married better
than these kids think.
75
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:15,543
[ Line rings ]
76
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,284
Colton Laboratories.
This is Shyrell.
77
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,590
Hi. This is Nikki Gooze.
You just called.
78
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,244
Do you, um,
have my DNA results?
79
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,290
Sweetheart, we just got
your samples today.
80
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,466
Results can take
up to 12 weeks.
81
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,556
I was calling you because you
didn't fill in your address.
82
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,210
Yeah, that's because
I live with my fiancée,
83
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,907
and he can't know
I'm doing this.
84
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,257
Okay, so, then, we should
call you with your results.
85
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,955
[ Phone beeps, ending the call ]You need to quit it.
86
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,218
Hold on a sec.
87
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,480
[ Phone beeps ]Hello?
88
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:40,829
Uh, is Tommy there?
89
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,134
Can you call back
in a few minutes?
90
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,353
Okay, but I was --[ Phone beeps ]
91
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,399
Okay, you can't call me.
No.
92
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,096
Yo-- you ha-- in fact,
you need to take this number
out of your system.
93
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,750
Never call
this number again.
94
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,621
Okay, then, we will
need an address.
95
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,232
How about your work?
96
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:55,060
Uh, work's no good.
Let me think.
97
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,891
I swear to God, I will come over
there and punch your ass.
98
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,415
That's right.
Punch it.
99
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,244
I'd kick it, but my arms
are stronger than my legs.
100
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,636
Oh, come on.
You know I'm just playing.
101
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,595
Hey. Put a stamp on this,
would you?
102
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,292
Vivian didn't have one,
so I told her I'd mail it
103
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,946
for a dollar.
Doubled our money.
104
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,600
Told you buying those
forever stamps 10 years ago
105
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:13,949
was going to pay off.
106
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:21,261
You know what?
Send it to 638 Carp Lane.
107
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,613
Hiiii.
108
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,267
If you're tired
of living in a tent,
109
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,530
you can totally stay
at my apartment.
110
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,793
Ah, thanks, but the tent's
not that bad.
111
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,361
And somebody keeps dropping off
food in the morning,
so, I mean, it's --
112
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,537
Well, I have those pillows
that memorize your head
113
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,713
and a vegetable crisper
full of Red Bull.
114
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,240
I'm in.Okay.
115
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,243
It's for you.
116
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,984
Hello?
117
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:50,725
[ Echoing ] Yes, I was calling
about the house for rent.
118
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,944
I was wondering if it's
available the week of, uh --
119
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:55,469
I'm sorry. One second.
I'm getting a bad connection.
120
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,253
I've got an echo.
I'm going to head outside.
121
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,863
Okay.
122
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,692
He's gonna head outside.
He's getting a bad echo.
123
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,172
[ Door opens ]
124
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,609
♪♪
125
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,263
As luck would have it,
126
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,397
your house was available
the week we needed it.
127
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,748
I just had to figure out
a way to pay for it,
128
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,402
which meant pulling
double shifts at work
129
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,273
for the next two months.
130
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,144
And the plan was going
pretty smooth until one night,
131
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:22,060
during the tail end of a double
shift, I was really tired,
132
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,845
and I wasn't paying attention
to where I was walking...
133
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:24,933
[ Truck beeping ]
134
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,848
Whoa![ Glass shatters ]
135
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,026
...which led to
a bit of an accident.
136
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:35,204
[ Bone crunches ][ Screams, cries ]
137
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,641
Turns out, my wife was wrong
about your house.
138
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:40,078
[ Fly buzzes ] It didn't cost me
an arm and a leg.
139
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,344
Just a leg.
140
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,440
You learn a lot of things
when you lose a limb.
141
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,746
For one, you learn you don't
just buy a prosthetic leg
142
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,792
off the rack.
They have to fit you for it,
143
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,533
and it takes a few months
to get made.
144
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:06,931
♪♪
145
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,717
You also learn that children
get pretty freaked out
146
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,675
by a missing limb...
147
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:15,375
no matter how hard your wife
tries to make it fun for them.
148
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,028
All right, kids.
149
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:20,510
Who wants to meet Daddy's
new friend, Mr. Whiskers?
150
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,688
[ Quietly ] You go.
151
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:25,950
Go.
152
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:34,350
♪♪
153
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,440
And while they prescribe
anti-bacterial soap
154
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,835
to help protect you
from infection...
155
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,489
you learn they don't
prescribe anything
156
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:43,751
to protect your feelings.
157
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,405
[ Gags ]
158
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,450
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
159
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,627
It's the first time that
I've seen it naked.
160
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,889
It's not that bad.
161
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,238
[ Gags ]
162
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,635
The next thing you learn
is that you don't
163
00:06:58,679 --> 00:06:59,854
get to pick your home nurse.
164
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,856
That's good.
That's good. Okay.
165
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:02,857
Oh!
166
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,556
Relax. Relax.
Let me steer.
167
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,645
I am the captain now.
168
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:11,474
[ Laughs ]
169
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,476
That was from a movie
with Tommy Hanks.
170
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,173
"I am the captain now."
171
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,523
You see,
there was a gentleman
172
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,481
who sounded like me
who was a pirate,
173
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,918
and when he took charge
of Tommy Hanks' boat,
174
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,485
he looked at him
and he said --
175
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,574
"I am the captain now."
Yeah. I saw the movie.
176
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,620
Yeah, we saw it.
177
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:30,493
Then, you learn you can't even
sleep in your own bed anymore.
178
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,408
[ Gasps ]
Oh, Mike!
179
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,715
Oh, it touched
me again.
180
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,107
The stump --
it poked through
181
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,718
the pillow barrier,
and it touched me.
182
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,720
What the hell do you
want me to do?!
183
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,417
I thought you were gonna
wear the kitty-cat cozy
that I made for you.
184
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,159
When I wear Mr. Whiskers,
my stump gets hot, it sweats,
185
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,161
and you complain
it smells like old mayonnaise.
186
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,729
Pick your poison, Lisa.
Pick your poison!
187
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,558
Mayonnaise.
188
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,649
But the worst thing
was the boredom.
189
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:59,174
The days turned into weeks,
the weeks turned into months,
190
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:03,570
and before you know it,
we lose all track of time.
191
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:04,919
Lisa!
192
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,838
Why are you yelling?
193
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,535
Why aren't we
at the beach?
194
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,145
We were supposed to start using
the house three days ago.
195
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,800
I just figured
with everything going on...
196
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,672
Mike, I mean, you haven't
left the house all summer.
197
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:22,197
I lost 9 inches of my leg
for a week in that house, Lisa!
198
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,982
Every day we don't use it
is 1.3 inches of flesh
199
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,331
I lost for nothing.
200
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:30,640
I lost an ankle
for nothing!
201
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,381
Kids, pack your shit!
202
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:33,730
We're going to the beach!
203
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:38,169
Good morning. Oh, wonderful.
You're off the chair.
204
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,563
I'll take this opportunity
to Febreze the cushions.
205
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999
We're going to the beach!
206
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,088
Splendid. The salt water
is actually good
207
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,525
for healing wounds.
208
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,005
You hear that, Lisa?
Maybe my leg will grow back!
209
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,878
Perhaps it will!
210
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,706
That will never happen.
211
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,229
But they told us
in nursing school
212
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,100
that optimism has been
clinically proven
213
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,973
to faster get a patient
back on their feet -- foot.
214
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,587
Every second I wasn't
215
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,458
in your rental house,
I was losing money.
216
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:07,938
So we packed up the wagon
and hauled ass to the beach.
217
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,637
[ Mail man singing
indistinctly ]
218
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:14,249
♪♪
219
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:21,343
♪♪
220
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,913
[ Quietly ] Yes!
221
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,398
Vivian?
222
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,140
Bodhi: Vivian?
223
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:37,533
Yeah?
224
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,361
Look what I found
in the bathroom.
225
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,754
[ Surprised ]
What is that?!
226
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,234
It's a camera
in a tissue box.
227
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,992
Where did you get
this tissue box?
228
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:07,476
Um, I -- I think that I got it
at the drug store over on Maple.
229
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,173
Some creep at
the drug store
230
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,262
must be putting cameras
in tissue boxes
231
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,525
so he can watch women shower
from his computer.
232
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,179
[ Exhales deeply ] What?
Yeah.
233
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,964
We should go down
to that drug store
234
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,923
and buy all the tissue boxes so
that no other women have to --
235
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,185
do I smell
Hot Pockets?
236
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,665
Oh. Yeah.
237
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,624
Bacon and cheddar --
your favorite. [ Chuckles ]
238
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,843
I'm cooking them in the oven
because you said the microwave
239
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,497
doesn't crust them up
like you like.
240
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:29,803
And -- and if that
doesn't work,
241
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,674
I can start experimenting
with basting.
242
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,807
Wow.
Vivian, you're the best.
243
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,199
Oh.
244
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,505
I don't know how I'm ever
gonna repay you
245
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,507
for letting me stay here.
246
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,466
Well, I'm sure we'll
think of something.
247
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,643
In the meantime, why don't you
give me this camera,
248
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,689
and I'm gonna make
a formal complaint.
249
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,822
You know what?
I've got a better idea.
250
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,475
I'm going to put this back
in the bathroom,
251
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:53,478
stand right in front of it,
and jerk off. Yeah.
252
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:54,828
Let's give that
drug-store creep
253
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,743
a whole lot more
than he bargained for.
254
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:59,267
[ Laughs ]
255
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:03,140
[ Door closes ]
256
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,489
[ Sighs ]
257
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,144
Oh, yeah.
258
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:11,409
♪♪
259
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,716
Hey. Hey!
There's lotion under the sink!
260
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,549
Anyway, my point
in writing all of this
261
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,464
is that you should think about
lowering your rental price,
262
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,075
so an average family of four
can go on a nice vacation
263
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,381
without losing a limb.
264
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,905
That's right.
I blame you.
265
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,167
Mike.
266
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:36,043
[ Laughing ]
267
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:38,436
That's not funny!
268
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,396
Oh, come on.
They're just having fun.
269
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,441
Look at the little seashells
they used as toenails.
270
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:44,834
Tell me that doesn't
make you smile.
271
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,357
[ Laughing ]
272
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,750
You think this is funny?!
273
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,056
I'm crippled!
274
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,535
Why don't you go
tell your parents
275
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,754
you made fun of a cripple,
you little pricks?!
276
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,364
Go on! Get!
277
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,671
♪♪
278
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,804
[ Grunts ]
279
00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:01,808
Hot. Hot. Hot.
Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot.
280
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:04,506
Hot! Hot! Hot!Maybe the kids can all sleep
over at my place tonight.
281
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:08,510
Mike seems like he could use
a break...or a blowjob.
282
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:09,816
Thanks.
283
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,560
Mike?
284
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:21,001
♪♪
285
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,829
Mike?!
Where are you going?!
286
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,787
I'm going home.
The sand is too hot.
287
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:28,269
People keep staring at me.
This was a stupid idea.
288
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,097
Wait, you're just gonna
leave us here?
289
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,316
You're acting insane!
290
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,667
Insane?! I'm acting like a guy
who lost his leg, Lisa!
291
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:41,543
Trust me. You have no idea
what it's like to be in my shoe!
292
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,503
The second we get back
to the house,
293
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,201
I'm checking these things
for cameras.
294
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,811
Good idea.
295
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,465
You know,
we should probably
296
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,423
also check each other
for cameras.
297
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,512
You know, kind of like how,
after you go hiking,
298
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:55,818
you check for ticks.
299
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
Eddie?!
300
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,433
I got to go.
301
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,740
Bodhi: Buddy.
Where have you been?
302
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,221
If you've been hiding,
you don't have to.
303
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:10,441
I'm not pissed that you
burned down my van/home.
304
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:11,921
I know it was
an accident.
305
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,097
I'm not gonna
kick your ass.
306
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,143
Okay, uh, first of all,
I'm pretty sure
307
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,666
I could beat the shit
out of you,
308
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,537
but let's put a pin in that
for the moment.
309
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:22,062
I was hoping the next time I saw
you, I would be finished.
310
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,411
Finished with what?
311
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,852
I got it from
a yard sale of sorts.
312
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,593
Basically, I saw it
sitting in someone's yard
313
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,160
and I asked if it
was for sale.
314
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:40,428
I tried to replace all the stuff
that was inside.
315
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,430
Here's a new
action figure.
316
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,953
Handsome Man.
317
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,607
I made his gi
flame-retardant,
318
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:50,220
so, God forbid, he doesn't die
the same way twice.
319
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,179
[ Voice breaking ]
I don't know what to say.
320
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,224
I can't believe
you did this.
321
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,747
Well, I had to, man.
322
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,401
My substandard
joint extinguishment
323
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,186
destroyed your van/home.
324
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,927
I would never
blame you for that!
325
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:04,539
Well, I know.
That's why I had to do it.
326
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:07,107
[ Both crying ]
327
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,719
Were you the one
who was leaving the food
328
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,939
outside my tent
on the beach?
329
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:15,550
I didn't want you
to be hungry.
330
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,204
Thanks. [ Sniffs ]
331
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,467
But for the record,
332
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,513
I like my peanut butter smooth,
not crunchy.
333
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,602
I wish I would have
known that!
334
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:27,692
[ Sobbing ]
335
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:32,001
♪♪
336
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:38,965
♪♪
337
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,578
God damn it!
338
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:46,276
I left my credit card
at the beach.
339
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,625
Let's go.
340
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:58,419
Keep it running?
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
341
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,987
[ Grunting ]
342
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,382
Man: [ Grunts ]
343
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,950
Lisa!
344
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,084
Shit. Mike!
This is nothing!
345
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:14,522
I had too many beers, and he let
me cry on his shoulder.
346
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:17,090
And then, we just --
we smoked a little hash,
347
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,049
and we watched a little porn
on his phone,
348
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:22,095
and then,
this just happened!
349
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:28,144
Mike! Mike!
Mike, wait!
350
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:32,322
Oh, my God. What did I do?
What did I do?
351
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:35,499
This is not your fault.
I am to blame.
352
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,241
Sometimes, I can't control
my desire to comfort.
353
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,939
No, you need to leave.
354
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,375
Are you sure?
355
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,072
Because I believe
the orgasm count
356
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,640
is Lisa: 1, Kwame: 0.
357
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,120
Don't we think should
even things out --
358
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,382
No.
359
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:49,731
-Huh?
-No.
360
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,258
♪♪
361
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,956
[ Crying, sniffling ]
362
00:15:56,999 --> 00:16:02,004
♪♪
363
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:07,053
♪♪
364
00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:10,926
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
365
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:16,758
♪♪
366
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:23,199
♪♪
367
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:33,079
[ Ominous music plays ]
368
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:40,608
♪♪
369
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,393
[ Grunts ]
370
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,134
[ Door creaks open ]
371
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:49,008
♪♪
372
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:53,273
[ Breathes heavily ]
373
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,888
[ "Walk a Mile in My Shoes"
plays ]
374
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,804
Perspective is
an interesting thing.
375
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:05,459
And sometimes, to truly
understand why someone does
376
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,635
the things they do,
you need to imagine
377
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,290
what would have happened if the
shoe wasn't on the other foot.
378
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:14,598
♪♪
379
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:18,907
♪ If I could be you,
and you could be me ♪
380
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,691
♪ Just for one hour...
381
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,216
Instead of being wrapped up
in your own problems,
382
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:24,913
you need to consider
what other people
383
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,306
might be going through...
384
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,961
♪ ...get inside
each other's mind ♪
385
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,746
...the things they're
having to deal with...
386
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,096
♪ If you could see you Sorry.
387
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,446
♪ Through my eyes... ...and how you might not be
the only person
388
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,100
trying to cope with
a shitty situation.
389
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,015
♪♪
390
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,496
♪ I believe you'd be
surprised to see ♪
391
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:45,281
Ooh! Lisa! No,
your stump touched me again!
392
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,153
You're gonna have to pick
your poison, Mike!
393
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,893
♪ Walk a mile in my shoes Pants?
394
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,853
I lost 9 inches of my leg
for that beach house, Mike.
395
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,203
♪ Walk a mile in my shoes
396
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,292
Pack your shit!
We're going to the beach!
397
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:59,643
♪ Before you abuse,
criticize, and accuse ♪
398
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,210
♪ Walk a mile in my shoes Hey, that's not funny.
399
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,821
I'm acting like a woman
who lost her leg, Mike!
400
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,129
♪ Now your whole world You have no idea
what it's like to be in my shoe!
401
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,913
♪ You see around you...
402
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:12,178
And when we're hurting,
stressed, and vulnerable,
403
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,223
we're all capable
of making decisions
404
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,442
that we might later regret.
405
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,400
♪ Says you're gonna reap
406
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:18,836
♪ Just what you sow Mike?
407
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,142
Oh, shit.
No, no, no, no.
408
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,970
This isn't
what it looks like.
409
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:27,149
♪ So unless you've lived a life
of total perfection ♪
410
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,977
So, I'm sure you have
a good reason
411
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,370
why you charge
the rent you charge
412
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,154
for your beach house.
413
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,505
And if I was in your situation,
I might do the same.
414
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:41,163
I apologize for what I wrote
earlier -- your pal, Mike.
415
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,643
Mike.
416
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,514
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
417
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,125
I understand.
418
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,996
-You do?
-Yes.
419
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,741
I've been so focused on
what I was going through,
420
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:56,657
I didn't realize what
you were going through.
421
00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:00,922
I know this hasn't been
easy on you, either.
422
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,446
I forgive you.
423
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,928
Oh. I -- I should
brush my teeth first.
424
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,756
I think I blew Kwame.
425
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:09,800
I appreciate that.
426
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:11,062
♪♪
427
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,368
[ Children laughing ]
428
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,109
♪ Walk a mile in my shoe
429
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,416
Hey! [ Laughs ]
430
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:20,942
♪ Walk a mile in my sho-o-oe
431
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:24,772
♪ Before you abuse,
criticize, and accuse ♪
432
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:29,951
♪ Walk a mile in my shoe
433
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:33,607
♪ Now, your whole world
you see around you ♪
434
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:38,133
♪ Is just a reflection
435
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,179
♪ And the law of karma
436
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:47,229
♪ Says you're gonna reap
just what you sow ♪
437
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,971
♪ So, unless you've
lived a life ♪Hey!
438
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:53,061
♪ Of total perfection
439
00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,932
She's stealing
my mail!
440
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,021
♪ You'd better be careful
441
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:03,245
♪ Of every stone
that you should throw ♪
442
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,204
♪ And yet
we spend the day ♪
443
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:11,471
♪ Throwing stones
at one another ♪
444
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:19,827
♪ 'Cause I don't think or wear
my hair the same way you do ♪
445
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:23,657
♪ Yeah, well,
I may be common people ♪
446
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,876
♪ But I'm still
your sister ♪
447
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:32,056
♪ When you strike out
and try to hurt me ♪
448
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,582
♪ It's hurting you
449
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:39,803
♪ Walk a mile
in my shoes ♪
450
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:44,417
♪ Walk a mile in my shoes
451
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:48,290
♪ Before you abuse,
criticize, and accuse ♪
452
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:52,207
♪ Walk a mile in my shoes
453
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,817
[ Answering machine beeps ]Woman:
Hey, Clem. It's me.
454
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,297
We're renting a beach house
this weekend,
455
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,125
and we'd love to see you.
456
00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:59,519
Maybe you can bring that girl
we've heard about.
457
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:04,350
♪♪
33318
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
