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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,172
Ooh, dude, you gotta check out
"The Guest Book" tonight!
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,740
It's the season finale!
Things are really gettin' crazy.
3
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,777
So remember that stripper
I told you about that was
blackmailing people?
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:13,081
Well, the old dude
finally put his foot down,
5
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,283
and he said he wasn't gonna
give her the keys anymore.
6
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,151
You know, they totally fought.
7
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,053
And remember the doctor
who lives next door
8
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,455
and how he was practicing with
a crossbow to impress his son
9
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,457
and how he was gonna go
on a date with the cop?
10
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,626
Well, this fool
slept with the cop!
11
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,629
And he shot the stripper
in the tit with the crossbow!
12
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,100
The tit! And he and the old man
dragged her into the cabin.
13
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,767
But that's all you need to know
to enjoy the season finale.
14
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,603
Oh, and you might want to know
that the old couple is --
15
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,571
Is practicing line dancing.
I know.
16
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,373
I watched it last week.
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,741
Not for me.
18
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,311
[ Plastic crinkles ]
19
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:46,280
**
20
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,083
* Wherever we go
21
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:51,652
* That's fine by me
22
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,488
* We'll settle our bones
23
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,090
* Eventually
24
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,526
* Yeah, I need a break,
I need a minute *
25
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,862
* Just give me one day
26
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:06,800
* Let's get, get, get away
27
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,440
**
28
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,281
This is bad, isn't it?
29
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,316
It is not good.
I'll sure as shit tell you that.
30
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,286
-Is she dead?
-No, she's just knocked out.
31
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,489
Once we get this arrow out,
she should... [ Gags ] be fine.
32
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,691
What are you gagging for?
I thought you were a doctor.
33
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,661
I am. [ Gags ] I think this is
just from stress.
34
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,530
Well, as long as she agrees
not to tell my wife anything,
35
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:37,831
we'll take her
to the hospital.
36
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,700
Tell your wife about what?
37
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,336
Well, I started going to
a bikini bar a few months ago,
38
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,205
and she threatened to tell
my wife about it.
39
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,773
Seriously?!
40
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,209
Don't judge me until you've been
married as long as I have!
41
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,710
Looking at the same naked lady
for 50 years
42
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,845
is like watching
a candle melt.
43
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,547
I was just trying
to get my juices flowing
44
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,882
so I could spice up
my marriage.
45
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:58,286
And it was working, too.
We've never been closer.
46
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,188
We're learning how
to line dance together,
47
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,156
and there's talk
of a couples' pottery class.
48
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,292
Well, that's great for you.
I got a cop in my bed
49
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,160
and a stripper with my arrow
in her tit!
50
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,529
[ Gags ] Oh, my God.
51
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,831
My wife is gonna have
a field day in court with this.
52
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,334
-I'll never see my son again.
-Trust me.
53
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,436
Vivian doesn't want
to get the cops involved
54
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,670
any more than we do.
55
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,439
Just go get what you need
to patch her up.
56
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,709
When she wakes up,
I'll talk some sense into her.
57
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,478
Okay. I'll be back as soon
as I can.
58
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,916
[ Door opens ]
59
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,551
[ Door closes ]
60
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,656
[ Whimpers ]
61
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,360
-Hey.
-Hey.
62
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,794
I made you pancakes
just in case
63
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,363
the crossbow practice
made you hungry.
Oh.
64
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,731
One of them is kind of
shaped like a heart,
65
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,466
but that was an accident.
66
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,901
Or...was it?
[ Chuckles ]
67
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,903
You know,
I think I need to...
68
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,940
run in to work real quick,
check on a patient.
69
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,676
It's nothing serious.
[ Gags ]
70
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,279
But I -- You know,
I should check in.
71
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,615
Oh. Oh, okay.
Yeah, I-I-I'm sorry.
72
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,517
I probably should have asked
before I made it.
73
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,353
I mean, it barely looks like
a heart.
74
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,255
If anything, it looks more like
a butt. I was just joking.
75
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,889
But I didn't mean to make you
think I was gonna stay all day.
76
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,991
No, no.
It's just that
last night at dinner,
77
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,626
you said you liked pancakes,
so I thought I'd just make some.
[ Sighs ]
78
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,395
I'll see you later. Or not.
79
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,863
-Okay.
-It's no big deal.
80
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,632
Unless you want to hang out,
and then, uh, call me, okay?
81
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,768
-I can give you a ride.
-Oh, no need.
82
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,936
I usually jog in the mornings
anyway.
83
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,472
In bare feet?
84
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,707
Yeah. That's how they do it
in Africa.
85
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,442
It's hard to argue
with those guys,
86
00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,311
considering how many
marathons they win.
87
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,880
I think I read in "Newsweek"
that a Kenyan has won
88
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,584
every major marathon
in every city on every continent
89
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,851
for the last 35 years.
90
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,687
And if he doesn't
run barefoot...
91
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,824
[ Tyler Lyle's "It's Fun To Do
Bad Things" playing ]
92
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,627
[ Engine starts ]
93
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,429
* Gabriel went to Mississippi
94
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,564
* He left without his wings
95
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,701
* He stumbled onto a riverboat
full of gamblers and thieves *
96
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,570
* He approached
a stranger closely *
97
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,406
* Said, "Sir, if you please
[ Buzzing ]
98
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,008
* Remind me again why we
live in sin so continentally" *
99
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,278
* He said, "Well, brother,
it's simple *
100
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,880
* It's fun to do bad things"
101
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,049
**
102
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,651
* He said, "Do you love
the taste of whiskey? *
103
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,020
* "You been enjoying
the finest wine *
104
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,955
* "Have you ever met
a beautiful girl *
105
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,824
* "And stayed with her
all night? *
106
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,592
* "Have you ever stolen
something *
107
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,961
* "Without a reason to steal?
[ Horn blaring ]
108
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,563
* "Have you ever laid
in the sun *
109
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,465
* "And felt no need
to repeat it? *
110
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,435
* "Well, tell me the truth,
brother *
111
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,438
* It's fun to do bad things"
112
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,905
**
113
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,741
* When we're supposed
to be good *
114
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,911
* Then why is it so fun
to do bad things? *
115
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,681
**
116
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,317
I got some sedatives for the...
117
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,887
Wilfrid?
118
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,324
[ Whispers ] Wilfrid!
119
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,759
Something happened.
120
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,328
What?
121
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,029
What are you doing up there?
122
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,531
Something happened.
123
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,533
What do you mean
"something happened"?
124
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,868
Did she leave?
125
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,503
She did not leave.
126
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,672
Okay, so where is she?
127
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,375
Please.
128
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,643
Don't be mad.
129
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,680
You and I shouldn't argue.
We're -- we're in this together.
130
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:13,981
In what together?
131
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,649
Well...
132
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,485
after you left,
133
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,854
I started to get worried
that if Vivian woke up,
134
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,023
she might not be
in the best frame of mind.
135
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,125
So to make sure she would
listen to me
136
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,027
while I tried to reason
with her,
137
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,829
I used the rope from
the macramé owl
138
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,631
and tied her to a chair.
139
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,133
Okay. So where is she?
140
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,504
Well, when she woke up, she was
pretty aggravated, as predicted.
141
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,707
And no matter what I said,
she just would not listen!
142
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,142
Where is she?
I don't know
what we gonna do, Doc.
143
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,612
We've got
a serious problem here.
Where is she?!
144
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,849
She's in the bedroom.
145
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,919
[ Ominous music playing ]
146
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,758
Oh, thank God, Wilfrid.
I thought you killed her.
147
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,594
Oh, I could never do that.
148
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,630
I was hoping you'd do it.
149
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,964
-What?
-So she wouldn't suffer.
150
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,666
I figured with you being
a doctor...
151
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,602
What is wrong with you?
I am not murdering anyone.
152
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,404
Well, I don't know
what we're gonna do, Doc.
153
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,805
She's gonna
tell Emma everything,
154
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,807
and that's gonna ruin
the line dancing tonight.
155
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,142
Plus, now that
I've tied her up,
156
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,610
I'm pretty sure I'll go to jail
for kidnapping.
157
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,579
I will die in there.
158
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,581
I'd rather take my chances
with killing her.
159
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:23,116
[ Whimpering ]
I'm sorry, Wilfrid, but it's
time to call the cops.
160
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,818
[ Sighs ]
You seem like
a really nice guy,
161
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,520
except for wanting to kill
this stripper,
162
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,956
but this has to end.
-[ Scoffs ] Great! Just great!
163
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,726
My wife is gonna divorce me,
and I'm gonna rot in prison!
164
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,998
-Hi. Hi.
-[ Grunts ]
165
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,933
I-I-I-I'm sorry about
all this.
166
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,703
I only shot you
to protect Wilfrid.
167
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,772
But, uh, hopefully,
we can forget --
168
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,641
[ Screaming ]
169
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,111
[ Squish ]
Aah!
170
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,881
What the hell is that?!
171
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,182
I'm not sure. He brought it.
172
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,950
What did I inject
her with, doc?
173
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,218
A shitload of sedatives!
174
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,654
Am I gonna die?
I don't wanna die.
175
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:03,491
I wanted to have children
and travel the world.
176
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,659
I haven't even seen
the Equator yet!
177
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,228
-Ohh!
-What did you do that for?
178
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,931
-I was helping you.
-I didn't ask you to help me.
179
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,700
Well, I didn't ask you
to help me either,
180
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,034
but that didn't stop you from
grabbing your bow and arrow
181
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,036
and going all Crazy Cat
on her ass.
182
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,638
-Who?
-Crazy Cat.
183
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,072
He was
a Native American character
184
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,608
on the TV show "F Troop."
185
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,576
Have you really never seen
"F Troop"?
186
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,879
This isn't what I wanted
my life to be.
187
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,081
[ Slurring ]
I just wanted a house
188
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,752
with a manageable yard
and a water feature
189
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:36,624
and a man who will microwave
my dinner when I got too tired
190
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:40,628
and surprise me
with a small dog on Christmas.
191
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,130
Where did I go so wrong?
192
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,634
I just wanted to... [ Mutters ]
193
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:52,239
If you smother her now,
she won't feel a thing.
194
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:01,014
[ Urinating ]
Is she dead?
195
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,783
No, she's not dead.
196
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,852
Just making sure she won't
bite me again.
197
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,520
And thanks to you,
she has drugs in her system
198
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,055
that everyone at the hospital
saw me leave with
199
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,790
15 minutes ago.
200
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,092
Goddamn it, Wilfrid.
This is a mess.
201
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,794
This is a goddamn mess.
202
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,997
Calm down. Calm down.
We'll figure something out.
203
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,700
[ Spits ]
Figure something out?!
204
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,635
We have -- That's --
She has a...
205
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:24,071
If you really don't want to kill
her, maybe we can find Frank,
206
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,639
and he'll talk some sense
into her.
207
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,741
-Who's Frank?
-Her stepson, works at Chubby's.
208
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,176
Not a bad guy.
Gave me the tape
209
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,044
of me sucking on her titties
so I could destroy it.
210
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,080
[ Spits ] You were sucking on
her titties?!
211
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,948
Not really.
She smushed them into my face.
212
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,617
And with
the camera angle, it...
213
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,952
[ Vehicle approaching ]
214
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,058
[ Spits ]
215
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,160
Shit.
216
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,030
**
217
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,999
Hey, Dad! I'm gonna go put
my stuff away,
218
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,134
and then we can go play
with the crossbow!
219
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,569
Sounds great. [ Gags ]
220
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,771
Hello?
221
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,673
Oh, hi, honey.
222
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,075
Oh, well, uh, I wanted to get
my shoes shined
223
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,978
before line dancing,
so I went down to the bus depot.
224
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,614
Hey.
225
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,182
Hey. You're winning
the cool parent contest
226
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,052
with that stupid bow and arrow,
but don't get used to it.
227
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,655
Next Friday, I'm gonna let him
watch "Sausage Party."
228
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,089
Yeah, okay.
229
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,325
Hey, do you think maybe
we could, I don't know...
230
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,895
Hey, Doc! Doc!
uh, I gotta go see the wife.
231
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,231
She needs me to try on
my line dancing outfit
232
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,100
to make sure I won't trip
on the fringe.
233
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,870
Wilfrid, I thought we were gonna
go find that guy
234
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,972
so we could take care
of that thing.
235
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,273
Uh, no, no, I'm sorry.
236
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,942
You're gonna have to talk
to Frank alone.
237
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,810
The last thing I need right now
238
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:39,913
is an angry wife driving around,
looking for me.
239
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,282
-Happy wife, happy life.
-Yeah.
240
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,652
Now that a husband.
241
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:48,088
We might still be married if you
took a page out of his book.
[ Starts engine ]
242
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,356
Oh, yeah, I'd love you to read
a couple chapters
243
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,091
of this guy's book.
244
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,761
Tell me exactly which pages
you want me to rip out.
245
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,265
I'm ready, Dad!
246
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,300
Oh, shit.
247
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,341
He went from being all cuddly
to being all weird.
248
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:12,012
That's just how they act
after they have an orgasm.
249
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,380
After a good dick sneeze,
250
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,949
the male brain just shuts down
for a while.
251
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,719
[ Cellphone rings ]
Think of it as a compliment.
252
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,887
[ Ring ]
253
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,723
Hey, Andrew.
254
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:25,392
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
255
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,895
No. No, it's not weird at all.
I'd love to.
256
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,030
Okay. Yeah, I'll be there
as soon as I can.
257
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,901
He wants me to keep an eye on
his kid while he goes to work.
258
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,703
See? Brain's back up
and running.
259
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,938
This could be my chance to show
him I'd be a great stepmom.
260
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,107
If you want that little boy
to like you,
261
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,676
just go inside and fill
your purse with candy.
262
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,277
Until their wieners start
calling the shots,
263
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,180
all those creatures
think about is sugar.
264
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,884
Am I adopted?
265
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,252
[ Exhales deeply ]
266
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,055
You really want
to talk about this now?
267
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,124
Again, thank you so much.
You guys are gonna have a blast.
268
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,227
Bryce, you're gonna love her.
Her name's Kimberly.
269
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,665
-See anything you like?
-Ooh!
270
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,172
You gotta be kidding me.
271
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,874
She's still alive?
272
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,743
I thought you shot her
with a bow and arrow.
273
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,210
Shh!
274
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,212
How'd you know that?
275
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,448
I drove up when she was kicking
Wilfrid's ass.
276
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,317
I was gonna jump in, but then
you went all Rambo on her.
277
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,253
-You didn't call the cops?
-Hell, no.
278
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,788
She got what she deserved,
279
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,923
messing with people's lives
like that.
280
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,726
-You sure she's not dead?
-Positive.
281
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,227
But if you can't talk
some sense into her,
282
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,063
Wilfrid wants to kill her.
283
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,998
Good. Let him kill her.
284
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,367
-Shh!
-What are you worried about?
285
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,169
Them?
286
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,805
Hey, you guys care if somebody
kills Vivian?
287
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,940
I'm cool with it.
Can I watch?
288
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,441
She's your stepmom.
289
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,344
Only because she was married
to my father for a month.
290
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,247
She's mean, man.
291
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,849
You see this?
292
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,317
That's a fork wound.
293
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,120
I got about 30 of those
all over my body from her.
294
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,189
I don't take my shirt off
at the pool
295
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,491
because I look like
a baked potato.
296
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,827
-Always with a fork?
-Yep.
297
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,228
She keeps it in her purse
298
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:11,064
and has a guy at the mall
that sharpens it for her.
299
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,866
She bit me.
300
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,969
Yeah. Does that when
she can't find a fork.
301
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,371
[ Gasps ]
[ Loud crash, glass breaks ]
302
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,773
Shit.
303
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,809
If Wilfrid doesn't kill her,
304
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,778
do me a favor and give me
the heads up.
[ Grunting ]
305
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,447
I might need
to get out of town.
306
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,750
Kombucha,
yo, make yourself skinny.
[ Groans ]
307
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,492
[ Muffled voice ] Let me out
of here, you assholes!
308
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:43,163
I swear to God, I will kill you
if you don't cut me loose!
309
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,032
[ Clack ]
310
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:49,202
[ Indistinct muffled shouting ]
311
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:54,975
[ Telephone rings ]
312
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,144
[ Ring ]
313
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,246
Mount Trace Rentals.
314
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,114
Oh, hey, Officer Leahy.
315
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,316
What does she want?
316
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:06,553
No, Froggy Cottage is
empty right now.
317
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,421
I'll bet someone just
left the TV on.
318
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,091
Would you mind going in there
and turning it off?
319
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:15,595
There's a key hidden in a rock
somewhere in the backyard.
320
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,598
[ Indistinct muffled shouting
continues ]
321
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,869
**
322
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,406
[ Muffled shouting ]
323
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,308
[ Door closes ]
324
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,477
[ Muffled shouting continues ]
325
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,313
[ Screaming ]
326
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,887
[ Muffled shouting ]
327
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,959
-Why are you a cowboy?!
-[ Grunts ]
328
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,428
Found it!
329
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,130
[ Exhales ]
330
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,200
[ Gasping and screaming on TV ]
331
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,506
[ Click ]
332
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,384
[ Engine turns off ]
333
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,321
Dad, I killed a crow.
334
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,890
That's great, buddy.
Where's Kimberly?
335
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,527
Hey, what's going on in here?
336
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,229
Oh, I was just turning off
the television for Emma.
337
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,198
Didn't there used to be some
weird macramé thing here?
338
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,566
Not sure. You know what I could
go for right now?
339
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,002
Heart-shaped pancakes.
340
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,437
[ Chuckles ]
341
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,039
-[ Grunting ]
-Ow!
342
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:35,242
[ Wilfrid and Vivian groaning ]
343
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,181
[ Thud ]
[ Grunts ]
344
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,150
[ Exhales deeply ]
345
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,152
This is why I wanted
to kill her.
346
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:56,229
[ Grunting ]
347
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,497
I-I can't believe this.
348
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,299
I finally sleep with a guy
who has a job,
349
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,134
and instead of cuddling,
I have to arrest him
350
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,570
for assault, kidnapping,
false imprisonment,
351
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,373
and attempted murder.
-Untie me, you bitch!
352
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241
She was blackmailing me.
Does that count for anything?
353
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,211
-Shut up, asshole.
-If you had any evidence, maybe,
354
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,580
but you destroyed the tape,
so it's your word against hers,
355
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,482
and she's the one
tied to a chair
356
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,317
with sedatives
in her bloodstream.
357
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,286
Dad!
358
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,553
I got a squirrel!
359
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,190
Look at that!
Aw, that's great, buddy!
360
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,724
[ Chuckles ] That's great.
361
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,594
Let's, uh -- Let's give
the local wildlife a break
362
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,963
and, uh...here!
363
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,400
Go read for a while.
364
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,403
I'll be out as soon
as I can, okay?
365
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,577
What kind of shitty cop are you?
366
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,479
I've been sitting here kidnapped
for 10 minutes.
367
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,981
You're over there shooting
the shit with your boyfriend.
368
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,516
You're not kidnapped anymore.
369
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,319
You're being detained while
I investigate the situation.
370
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,154
Then cut me loose.
[ Thud ]
371
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,489
Your investigation is over.
You said it yourself.
372
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:59,759
There's no evidence against me
and tons of evidence
against them. [ Chuckles ]
373
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,428
You're going to jail, boys.
374
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,631
[ Groans ] Couldn't we just
create some evidence?
375
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,266
We could cut a deal
with her.
376
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,468
I'm a cop. I'm not gonna break
the law to help you.
377
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,437
Say goodbye to your girlfriend,
Doc.
378
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,040
The only pussy you'll be gettin'
is shaped like a starfish
379
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,507
and belongs to a guy
named Tyrone.
380
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,476
Okay, that --
that's enough.
381
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,112
Why does the guy
have to be named Tyrone?
382
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,216
-Dad?
-Uh, yeah, buddy?
383
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,086
-What's a vip room?
-Um, what's a what?
384
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,388
-A vip room.
-What are you reading?
385
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,323
Some book about a character
named Tickles
386
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,025
who's trying to sell a man
a tape
387
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,526
of what he did
in the vip room.
388
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,729
There's a whole story
in this guest book
389
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,365
about her blackmailing
someone.
390
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,633
You weren't the first, Wilfrid.
This is evidence!
391
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,602
Dad, who's that?
392
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,737
That's a stripper
with a gag in her mouth
393
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,173
and an arrow in her tit, son.
394
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,507
But if you go play
on those swings
395
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,342
and you don't tell your mom
about any of this,
396
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,743
we'll have ice cream
for dinner.
397
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,779
Deal.
398
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,747
"Thanks for sharing your home
with us. Your pal, John.
399
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,350
P.S. That's not my real name."
Damn!
400
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,386
[ Chuckles ]
Now what, assholes?
401
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,454
You don't even know where
to find him.
402
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,290
Wilfrid, you don't happen
to keep records
403
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,092
of everyone who stays
at Foggy Cottage?
404
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,660
I sure do.
405
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,262
[ Phone dialing ]
406
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,564
[ Telephone rings ]
407
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,066
-Hello?
-I was just wondering
408
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,801
if you wrote a story
in a guest book
409
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,703
involving blackmail
and feet?
410
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,271
-No.
-Okay.
411
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,240
[ Telephone rings ]
412
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,642
[ Beep ]
413
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,211
-Hi. My name is...
-No.
414
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,578
[ Cellphone rings ]
415
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:28,148
-Hello?
-Hi, this is Officer Leahy.
416
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,183
Nope. Wasn't me.
417
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,419
Yeah, right, there is no way
Tim went to a strip club.
418
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,454
He's too much of a pussy.
419
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,822
No, it wasn't me.
[ Beep, phone dialing ]
420
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,558
Did you stay at...
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
421
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,460
No, it wasn't me.
422
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,795
G-59.
423
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,364
[ Dialing ]
424
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,732
[ Telephone rings ]
425
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,601
[ Ring ]
426
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,770
[ Ring ]
[ Goat bleating ]
427
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,772
[ Ring ]
428
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,341
[ Sighs ]
429
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,510
[ Cellphone rings ]
430
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,146
Officer Leahy.
431
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,480
Did you say the thing
with the stripper
432
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,315
had something to do
with feet?
433
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,617
Yes, I did.
'Cause I just remembered
when we were up there,
434
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,586
Tim tried to put his toe
up my ass.
435
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,888
Maybe he knows something
about this after all.
436
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,625
Here, grab a pen. I'll give you
his cellphone number.
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
437
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,527
-Hello?
-Hi, this is the police.
438
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:18,298
Did you write a story in
a guest book about a strip club?
439
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,533
Uh...Yeah, that was me.
440
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,835
I found him, and he'll testify.
441
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,338
He said that he will do
whatever it takes to make sure
442
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:29,409
that woman's feet never touch
an innocent man again.
443
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,178
So what do you say,
sweetheart?
444
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,679
Do you want to go to jail,
445
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,247
or should we chalk
this whole thing up
446
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,816
as one big misunderstanding?
447
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,618
Fine!
448
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,221
And you can't tell my wife
I was sucking on your titties!
449
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,855
-Fine!
-You sucked on her titties?
450
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,525
-She smushed them in his face.
-Thank you.
451
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,195
Can you assholes untie me now?
Get this arrow out of my tit?
452
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,463
I'm starting to lose feeling
in my nipple.
453
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,833
Hold on a second.
454
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,668
There's one more thing
she has to agree to.
455
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,337
**
456
00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:01,374
* This hit, that ice cold
457
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:05,478
* Michelle Pfeiffer,
that white gold *
458
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,380
* This one's
for them hood girls *
459
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,549
No, no, no! No, no, no!
460
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:13,186
* Them good girls,
straight masterpieces *
[ Squish, screaming ]
461
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,854
* Stylin', wildin'
462
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,589
* Livin' it up in the city
463
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,691
* I got Chucks on
with Saint Laurent *
464
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,493
* Gotta kiss myself,
I'm so pretty *
465
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,529
* I'm too hot
* Hot damn
466
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,297
* Call the police
and the fireman *
467
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,266
* I'm too hot
* Hot damn
468
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,967
* Make a dragon want
to retire, man *
469
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,237
* I'm too hot
* Hot damn
470
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,838
* Say my name,
you know who I am *
471
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,840
* Too hot
* Hot damn
472
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,476
* My band's about that money,
break it down *
473
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,211
* Girls, hit your hallelujah
* Whoo!
474
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,712
* Girls, hit your hallelujah
* Whoo
475
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,614
* 'Cause Uptown Funk gonna
give it to you *
476
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,616
* 'Cause Uptown Funk
gonna give it to you *
477
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,552
* Saturday night,
and we in the spot *
478
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,487
* Don't believe me, just watch
479
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,724
* Whoo
480
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:55,628
* Whoo
481
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:59,499
* Whoo
482
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,967
* Don't believe me, just watch
483
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,835
* Don't believe me,
just watch *
484
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,871
* Hey, hey, hey, ow!
485
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,806
* Stop, wait a minute
486
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,775
* Fill my cup,
put some liquor in it *
487
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,577
* Take a sip, sign the check
488
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,911
[ Whistles ]
* Julio, get the stretch
489
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,581
* Ride to Harlem, Hollywood
490
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,982
* Jackson, Mississippi
491
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,485
* We show up, we gon' show out
492
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,752
* Smoother than a fresh jar
of Skippy *
493
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,854
* Too hot
* Hot damn
494
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,690
* Call the police
and the fireman *
495
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,825
* I'm too hot
* Hot damn
496
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,994
* My band's about that money,
break it down *
497
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,962
* Girls, hit your hallelujah
* Whoo!
498
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,998
* Girls, hit your hallelujah
* Whoo!
499
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,633
* 'Cause Uptown Funk gonna
give it to you *
* Whoo!
500
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,802
* 'Cause Uptown Funk gonna
give it to you *
501
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,804
* Saturday night,
we in the spot *
502
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,706
* Don't believe me, just watch
503
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,042
* Whoo
504
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,711
-Now, be honest.
-Hmm?
505
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,813
Isn't this a lot more fun
than that bikini bar?
506
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,948
* Don't believe me
You knew about that?
507
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,651
Of course I knew about it.
I'm not stupid.
508
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,387
* Don't believe me
Oh! [ Laughs ]
509
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,757
All right. Whoa.
* Don't believe me
510
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,492
* Hey, hey, hey, ow!
511
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,395
[ Song ends,
cheers and applause ]
512
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,696
[ Laughs ]
37895
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