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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,805
Bruh, "The Guest Book"
is on again tonight.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,574
It's pretty much
a new episode each week
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,242
with brand-new characters.
4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,611
But there are a few things
you should know first.
5
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,446
So there's this stripper
at a bikini bar
6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,515
who secretly records
guys in the VIP room.
7
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:17,551
And then she and her stepson
sell the guys the tape.
8
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,820
Oh, and that old dude
who gives out the keys
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,455
to people who rent the cabins?
[ Croaks ]
10
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,824
He went to the bikini bar
and got a lap dance.
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,527
And now, I think
that chic's gonna blackmail him.
12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,761
I don't know.
13
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,597
Seems like a lot
to keep track of.
14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,200
But I just caught you up
in 15 seconds.
15
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,102
Yeah,
but you talk real fast.
16
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,537
Maybe if I had, like,
images to look at?
17
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,339
[ Slaps thighs ]
18
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,209
**
19
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:44,445
* Wherever we go
20
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,081
* That's fine by me
21
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,750
* We'll settle our bones
22
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,352
* Eventually
23
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,787
* Yeah, I need a break,
I need a minute *
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:57,425
* Just give me one day
25
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:02,130
* Let's get, get, get away
26
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,834
**
27
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,407
Glenda:
Lady, where are you?!
28
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,109
Her name is Christy.
29
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,544
Christy?
30
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,515
[ Creaks ]
31
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,253
Can we play
another board game?
32
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:28,088
Sure, after we find
daddy's friend.
33
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,874
Christy: I'm gonna start
writing in this guest book
34
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,877
because I have to do something
to occupy my brain
35
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,213
so I don't go
completely insane.
36
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:56,217
**
37
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,455
[ Sniffs ]
38
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:05,693
My name is Christy,
39
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,728
and I'm currently hiding
under your stairs.
40
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,198
It was my new boyfriend's idea
41
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,166
to come stay in your cabin
for a few days
42
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,901
so I could get to know
his daughter.
[ Engine starts ]
43
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,676
Daddy, tell me a story!
44
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:26,280
Maybe Christy would want
to tell you a story.
45
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,382
Tell her a story.
She loves stories.
46
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,718
I wanna hear
a story about a snail.
47
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,820
I don't think I know
any stories about a snail.
48
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,722
I usually
just make something up.
49
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,658
Of course.
She's 7. Got it.
50
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:41,362
Um, one day,
there was a snail
51
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,232
named...Snailey Snail Snail.
52
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,433
[ Chuckles ]
53
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:49,703
And boy, was he...chubby.
54
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,843
So, what do you do
for a living?
55
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,578
I'm in charge
of the rental office
56
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,880
for the vacation cabins
at the top of the mountain.
57
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,882
-Cool!
-Yeah.
58
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,884
You wanna see me act
like a kitty cat?
59
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,819
Sure.
60
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,589
**
61
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,658
[ Meowing ]
62
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,830
I've been recording
this dude for an hour,
63
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,233
but I don't know
how you're gonna blackmail him.
64
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,502
All he does is chat.
65
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,571
He didn't even touch himself
when he went to pee.
66
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,974
He's a sitter.
Well, we still have the tape
of he and I in the VIP room.
67
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,542
And he's not
gonna have to pay us.
68
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,378
Other people are.
Check it out.
69
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,980
I've listed five houses up on
the mountain for people to rent.
70
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,316
When the people call,
we'll get the keys
from the old dude,
71
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,517
and we'll collect
the cash.
72
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,419
How'd you get
on the World Wide Web?
73
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,554
Got the password from
the dishwasher next door
74
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,423
for 5 bucks
and a French handshake.
75
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,926
[ Retching ]
76
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:49,897
Stop doing
that stupid cat shit!
77
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:54,302
And then the snail stopped
in the parking lot.
78
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,536
This isn't a story.
79
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,970
You're just looking
out the window
80
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,506
and talking about what you see.
81
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,809
It did seem to cover
a lot of ground for a snail.
82
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,944
I'm sorry.
I suck at this.
83
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,779
Don't worry.
You'll get better.
84
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,849
**
85
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,917
Hi.
86
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,885
[ Door closes ]
87
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,622
I'm here to pick up
the keys to Froggy Cottage.
88
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,491
It's not that
I don't like children.
89
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,560
It's just my lifestyle
hasn't given me
90
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,929
a lot of opportunities
to be around them.
91
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,865
[ Sniffs ]
I started doing porn
92
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,435
shortly after I realized
my degree in communications
93
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,703
was a big joke
my college played on me.
94
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:33,407
If you don't mind, could you try
not to finish on my face?
95
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,443
It goes where it goes.
96
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,748
Christy, don't smile
with your mouth.
97
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,750
Smile with your pelvic floor.
98
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,585
In the beginning, it was great.
99
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,521
The money was good,
and the drugs were super fun.
100
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,623
But eventually,
thanks to the stupid Internet,
101
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:52,326
the money started to dry up.
102
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,928
And the drugs became less fun
103
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,731
and more of just a way
to get through the day.
104
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,634
[ Sniffs ]
105
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,870
You ready, sweetheart?
106
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,839
If you finish on my face,
I swear to Christ
107
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,509
I will tie your dick
into a poodle.
108
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,412
I'm just the A.D.
Your co-stars are over there.
109
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,714
[ Bell rings ]
110
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,951
And then it happened --
in the blink of an eye,
111
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,821
every porn ingenue's nightmare.
112
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,891
[ Gasps, voice breaking ]
I had become a MILF!
113
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,661
I thought by the time
this happened, I'd be retired.
114
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:31,432
I'd be a real MILF
with kids and a HILF.
115
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:35,035
I was sure my chance to have
a normal life had passed me by.
116
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,738
Man: All tuckered out
from too much baking?
117
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,039
What?
118
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,808
You forgot
to take off your apron.
119
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,876
I love to bake, too.
120
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,413
When I was married, my wife
used to make fun of me for it.
121
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,448
That and about
a million other things,
122
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,016
including my crooked teeth.
123
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,084
[ Laughs goofily ]
124
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,586
And my goofy laugh.
125
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,888
I like your laugh.
126
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,089
Thanks!
127
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,858
Listen,
you mind if I sit down?
128
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,527
It's super crowded in here.
I promise I won't bother you.
129
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,361
Oh, no.
Go ahead, please.
130
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,998
I bet you were
making cupcakes.
131
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,901
Um, yeah. Cupcakes.
How'd you guess?
132
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,937
Your apron has frosting
all over it.
133
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,443
Oh.
134
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,578
Our accidental coffee date
led to dinner,
135
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,046
and the next thing I knew,
I was dating
136
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,182
a unbelievably sweet
and caring guy.
137
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,851
For the first time in my life,
138
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,919
I was in
a normal relationship.
139
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,821
And if I wanted this to work,
140
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,057
he needed to think
I was a normal girl.
141
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,660
I stopped doing porn,
and I got a job at a pet store.
142
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,496
I quit doing drugs,
I dressed more conservatively,
143
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,097
and I even gained 4 pounds.
144
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,000
I was playing the role
of the perfect woman,
145
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,702
but this weekend
was gonna be harder
146
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,071
with his kid in the mix.
147
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,907
So to settle my nerves,
I brought a little something
from my old life.
148
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,609
Just a little pinch
now and then
149
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,478
to take the edge off.
150
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,518
Brownies!
[ Knocking on window ]
151
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,554
Dad, she has brownies!
152
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,155
Can I have some brownies?
153
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,691
I don't see why not.
154
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,559
I bet your new buddy Christy
155
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,628
would love to share
one of her brownies with you.
156
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,497
It's kinda close to dinner,
don't you think?
157
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,465
It's fine.
158
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:14,868
She loves brownies more than
she loves stories about snails.
159
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,850
[ Muffled ] I'm sorry.
I don't like to share.
160
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,861
Glenda:
Should we look outside?
Maybe,
161
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,597
but I thought it was implied
that we hide in the house.
162
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,937
[ Door closes ]
163
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,839
Okay. Where were we?
164
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,909
Oh, yeah. We had just arrived
at your cabin
165
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,611
shortly after I had eaten
166
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,179
two weeks' worth
of pot brownies.
167
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:04,284
**
168
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,286
This place is nice!
169
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,956
Check it out, Glenda.
They have board games.
170
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,992
"High School Hijinks."
This looks fun.
171
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,763
I'm gonna go
to the bathroom.
172
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,267
A normal person would just
force themselves
173
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,802
to throw up the brownies,
174
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,604
and this nightmare
would be over.
175
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,205
Well, a normal person
didn't spend eight months
176
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,774
deep-throating
a wiffle-ball bat at porn camp
177
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,610
so she could desensitize
her gag reflex.
178
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,278
[ Sighs ]
179
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,980
The talent that used to get
my name above the title
180
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,848
has become a handicap
that may cost me
181
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,617
the first good relationship
I've ever been in.
182
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,053
Paul: Christy, hurry up!
We're gonna play a game!
183
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,022
About 20 minutes later,
184
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,792
I think I was starting to feel
the effects of the brownies
185
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,660
because that damn spinner
on the board game
186
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,762
seemed to spin forever.
187
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:53,066
**
188
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,902
Christy?
189
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,639
Christy?
190
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,174
[ Voice echoing ] Christy?
Christy?
191
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,176
Christy? Christy?
192
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,712
Christy? Christy?
193
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,179
Christy?
194
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,681
Sorry.
195
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:08,982
Oh, you already spun.
196
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:12,653
Oh. Um, anybody else
hot in here?
197
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,822
No, not really.
Mnh-mnh.
198
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,090
You need to pick an elective
on your next turn.
199
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,159
Think about
what you're good at.
200
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,061
All the guys
that you've bumped --
201
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,363
must be great
at pornography.
202
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,599
What did she say?
203
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,334
She said all you need
is an iPhone
204
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,769
to be great at photography.
205
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,139
Mm-hmm.
206
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,942
**
207
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,589
[ Frogs croaking ]
208
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,802
How 'bout we take a break?
209
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:05,338
You guys look like you could use
some fresh air.
210
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,874
[ Laughs ]
[ Giggles ]
211
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:07,908
Hey!
212
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,276
Oh, hi!
Hi.
213
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,277
Is this okay?
214
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,745
She saw the swing,
215
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,213
and there was
no talking her out of it.
216
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,015
No.
It's no problem.
217
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,150
I put it up for my son.
218
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,252
He only comes to visit me
every other weekend.
219
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,254
Single dad.
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
220
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,223
I'm in the same boat.
221
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,058
**
222
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,994
I thought I was already
as high as I could get,
223
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,395
but then the second brownie
must have kicked in
224
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,397
'cause I was starting
to feel it in my body
225
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,299
just as much as my head.
226
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,204
I was getting super thirsty,
227
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,306
and I felt like
I was burning up.
228
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,748
And then I lost my shirt.
229
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:59,860
Anyway, I'm hoping my wife and I
can get back together.
230
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,361
I was thinking
of inviting her to stay
231
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,896
next time my son
comes to visit,
232
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,331
but I'm -- I'm scared
to ask her
233
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,166
'cause every time we talk,
we get into a fight.
234
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,802
How would you handle it
235
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,303
if -- if you wanted to get
back together with your wife?
236
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,740
It's hard for me to...
237
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,810
...imagine 'cause
Glenda's mother...
238
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,147
...and I aren't married...
239
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,251
...anymore
'cause Glenda's mother...
240
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,420
...died in a fire.
241
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:32,025
[ Ropes creaking ]
242
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,862
**
243
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,732
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
244
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,836
[ Breathing heavily ]
245
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,307
Come on, Christy.
Get it together.
246
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,077
Now you're paranoid and seeing
things. [ Blows air ]
247
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,245
Why are your boobies out?
248
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,183
I can't find my shirt.
249
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,317
[ Chuckles ]
250
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,352
It's behind your head,
silly.
251
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,761
Let's play the game
some more!
252
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:08,962
Sounds good to me.
253
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,463
Christy?
254
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,099
Um...
255
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,434
**
256
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,306
Why don't we play
hide-and-go-seek instead?
257
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:26,113
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven...
258
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,848
I knew hide-and-go-seek would
give me time to be alone.
259
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,517
If we could play
for the rest of the night,
260
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,352
I wouldn't have to have
a conversation
261
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,421
longer than a minute
until I could sleep this off.
262
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,856
And the better hiding place
I found,
263
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,291
the longer I could be alone.
264
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,928
**
265
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,398
[ Door creaks ]
266
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,834
Glenda: I found you!
267
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,136
All right,
now let's find Christy.
268
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,104
Hmm!
269
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,507
**
270
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,184
I'd come out, but the last
of the brownies are kicking in,
271
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,586
and I can't risk Paul
finding out.
272
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,256
Some people might think
Paul is boring,
273
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:13,326
but boring is just another word
for...boring,
274
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,428
which might rhyme with snoring,
275
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,398
but rhymes aren't the way to...
276
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,615
Okay, I think I fell asleep.
277
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,417
I just re-read the last
sentence that I wrote,
278
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,252
and I have no idea
where I was going with that
279
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,922
other than that I'm super
in love with Paul.
280
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,523
Hopefully,
I wasn't asleep for that long.
281
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,992
[ Knock on door ]
282
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,528
Thanks so much for coming.
283
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,063
She's been missing
for three hours.
284
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,398
I didn't know
what else to do.
285
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,866
Don't worry, sir.
We'll find her.
286
00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,406
I think I should go out there.
287
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,308
This has gotten out of hand,
288
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,576
and maybe I'm not as high
as I think I am.
289
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,416
Mouse: You're still
way too high.
290
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,651
[ Squeaking ]
291
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,922
Never mind. Mouse says
I'm still way too high.
292
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,426
[ Continues squeaking ]
293
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,632
I'll ask around and see
if anybody's seen her.
294
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,334
If my daughter wasn't sleeping,
I'd come with you.
295
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,468
I hate sitting here
doing nothing.
296
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,237
I feel like I'm trapped.
297
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,638
Well, if you'd like to join me,
I can have an officer
298
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,173
sit here in case
your daughter wakes up.
299
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,575
Great! I'll see
if I can find a picture.
300
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,246
Gosh, I don't know.
301
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,381
I mean,
if you and your wife
302
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,183
fight every time you talk,
303
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,152
maybe you should ask her
in a text.
304
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,653
Emojis are a great softener.
305
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,388
That's not a bad idea.
306
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,925
I just feel like if she came
with my son for the weekend
307
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,394
and we spent some quality time
together as a family,
308
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,529
she might be more open
to working on it.
309
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,531
And you're sure you wanna
get back together with her?
310
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,334
Lot of single ladies up here
who would love to --
311
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:03,070
Oh.
Actually, it's not a lot.
312
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,504
There are three of us.
313
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,406
We're in a book club --
mostly romance novels.
314
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,309
We usually have a lot of wine,
and there's a lot of crying.
315
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:10,710
Carol makes monkey bread.
316
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,014
**
317
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,149
I, uh, found her
driver's license in her purse.
318
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,719
But I think she might be
4 pounds heavier than it says.
319
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,121
Have you seen her?
320
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:25,292
Oh.
She does look familiar.
321
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,493
Is she an actress?
322
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,628
No. At least not that I know of.
323
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,130
[ Sighs ]
324
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,232
Ah. I've definitely
seen that face before.
325
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,467
Wilfrid:
She looks familiar.
326
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,303
For some reason, I feel like
she was a cheerleader.
327
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:40,040
-Is she a cheerleader?
-No, she works in a pet store.
328
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,275
She seems too pretty
to be working in a pet store.
329
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,511
They usually have ugly girls
working there.
330
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,579
I think they do that
to make the pets look cuter.
331
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,349
I could have sworn
she was a cheerleader.
332
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,284
You losin' your mind.
333
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:57,257
Oh, I've never
seen her before.
334
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,392
Hey, Walter.
335
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:02,195
You seen this woman before?
336
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,066
She's a porn star.
337
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,400
She's a porn star.
338
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,536
Trust me.
Walter would know.
339
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,045
**
340
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,226
[ Mouse squeaking ]
341
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,239
[ Door creaks ]
342
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,544
[ Toilet flushes ]
343
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,258
I think we can come out now.
344
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,593
No. No, we can't.
345
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,228
I'm not ready yet.
346
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,629
But I'm bored.
347
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,198
Mouse: Psst!
348
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,565
Tell her a story.
349
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:16,703
Um, how 'bout
I tell you a story?
350
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,107
Oh, come on.
Give me another chance.
351
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,510
I'll be better now that
I'm...feeling creative.
352
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,078
Fine.
353
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,281
You need a costume.
354
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,449
Grab this hat.
355
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,858
Once upon a time....
356
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,761
Once upon a time,
357
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:44,764
there was a super hero named
the Masked Whisperer.
358
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,534
The only person
that could hear her
359
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,671
was her trusty sidekick,
Glenda the Beautiful.
360
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,406
Together,
they rode around the world
361
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,342
on the back of a magic snail
362
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,345
that ate jelly beans
and farted rainbows.
363
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:02,682
What did the rainbow farts
smell like?
364
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,417
Hot chocolate?
365
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,818
Hot chocolate.
366
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,155
Go on.
367
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:12,459
[ Christy moaning ]
368
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,162
Oh, my God!
369
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,664
Take a look at this one.
370
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,299
Wow.
371
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,302
She's very accommodating
to that basketball team.
372
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,837
[ Laughter ]
373
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:28,475
**
374
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,682
[ Laughter ]
375
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,317
Christy: Shh!
376
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:46,193
This isn't as bad
as it looks.
377
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,194
[ Sighs ]
378
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,728
And that was that.
379
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,430
Paul found out about my past,
380
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,832
and I came clean
about the brownies.
381
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,867
Since I didn't have
any drugs on me,
382
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,636
the cop let me go
with a stern lecture
383
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,171
as long as I promised I would go
384
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,207
to the closest AA meeting
I could find,
385
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,409
so here I am.
386
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,311
I guess what I've learned
from all this
387
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,713
is that if I wanna be
in a good relationship,
388
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,648
I need to be honest.
389
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:11,684
And if the person still loves me
after they learn
390
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,720
who I am and who I've been,
391
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:17,757
well, then I guess
I'm with the right guy.
392
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:24,297
So, I just gotta ask --
you've been pretty tame in bed.
393
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,833
Have you been --
I've been holding back.
394
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,735
Get ready
to have your mind blown.
395
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,704
[ Laughs goofily ]
396
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,241
* Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
[ Seatbelt clicks ]
397
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,509
Who wants to hear
a story on the way home?
398
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:39,212
I wanna hear a story
about a caterpillar!
399
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,647
Okay.
400
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,949
There once was a caterpillar
named Stan.
401
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,417
[ "Hang On" plays ]
402
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:48,488
* Hang on, hang on
403
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,725
* 'Cause it's
the little things *
404
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:55,662
* The little things
that do us harm *
405
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,698
* I'm not a stranger
406
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,436
* Ain't a mystery
407
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,872
* When we both get it wrong
408
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,549
* What you thought
was a hurricane *
409
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,918
* Was just the rustling
of the wind *
410
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,588
[ Cellphone chimes ]
411
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,923
* Why you think
we need amazing grace *
412
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,759
* Just to tell it like it is?
413
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,896
* Oh, I don't need no doctor
414
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:33,866
* To tear me all apart
415
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,402
* I just need you
416
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,970
Ah! [ Laughs ]
417
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,572
I knew it. I knew it.
418
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,708
* To mend my heart
419
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,477
What's the name of this place
we're going to?
420
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:45,978
Froggy Cottage.
421
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,682
[ Tires screech ]
422
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:52,485
-Oh.
-It's gonna be a long weekend.
29872
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