All language subtitles for The Guest Book S01E02 Story Two 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Hey, man.
What?

That show about the cabin in
the woods is on again tonight.

It's a different story
every week,

but I think
some of the people in the town

are in every episode.

So, there's an older couple
who rents the cabin,

and there's a guy next door
who has a kid.

Plus, there's a stripper
who tapes dudes

and blackmails them
with the help of her stepson.

Although last episode, that dude
got locked in his own trunk.

Anyway,
you should check it out.

Yeah, I don't know.

I didn't really like
the last show you recommended.

The Grammys?

Yeah. Too much music.
[ Button clicks ]

[ Vending machine clacks ]

**

* Wherever we go

* That's fine by me

* We'll settle our bones

* Eventually

* Yeah, I need a break,
I need a minute *

* Just give me one day

* Let's get, get, get away

[ Organ playing ]

Jill.
Father.

Do I have you to thank
for this bounty?

I didn't want
you to get hungry.

It's gonna be a long one.

Jill: Our son, Ethan, was coming
to town with his fiancée.
[ Engine starts ]

And as I've told you before,

as long as his fiancée refuses
to enter the house of the Lord,

she's not welcome in mine,
either.

So, Jeff and I rented
a cabin in the mountains.

Did you find
a good church yet?
No, Mom.

Just because Lynn's
an atheist doesn't mean

you can't spend a little time
away from each other

on a Sunday morning.

You're gonna be separated
in the afterlife.

Might as well practice.

[ Folk music plays on stereo ]

How's work, Mom?

Oh, you know.

Work is work.

Somebody brought in
a constipated ferret last week.

Have you ever seen a ferret
in real life?

Looks like an eel
wearing a toupée.

I don't even think it's legal
to have them as pets.

I wanted to call
the police.

But Dr. Griffin disagreed.

So I just did my job
and lubed up his little pinky

so he could shove it up

that dirty little varmint's
impacted anus.

[ Splat ]
Ah!

Sorry. I hit a bug.
[ Brakes screech ]

[ Turns engine off ]
I can't drive
with guts on the windshield.

Ohh.
Would you look at that?

Every little girl driving
down this highway must think

the only way she can get
her dream car

is to shake her bosoms
at horny truckers.

[ Rock music plays
in building ]

* I'm the king of the world,
and I'm never lookin' back... *

[ Music continues, muffled ]

It's him.

Where the hell are you?

I'm locked in the trunk
of my car.

How did that happen?!

Because I'm not cut out
for this kind of thing!

When are you gonna get that
through your skull?

You better watch
your volume, dickhead.

When that train killed
your daddy,

I could've thrown your crying,
15-year-old ass out,

but instead I gave you a job
and kept a roof over your head

for the last seven years.

Now, you show me another stepmom
that would do that

for her adopted
black son,

and don't you say
Sandra Bullock,

'cause I know
your slow ass

ain't protecting
nobody's blind side.

Now, you just sit tight,

and I'll come get you
when we close.

You want cash or a handie?

I'll take the cash.

I feel you tend to rush things
when we barter.

**

[ Keyboard clacking ]

[ Chimes ]

Hello.

Oh, hi.

We're here to pick up the keys
for Froggy Cottage.

Oh, of course.

Let me, uh -- let me find
your reservations.

Jeff: Are you sure you want
to go through with this?

We could go to jail,
you know.

Don't get soft
on me now, Jeff.

We've got some heavy lifting
for the Lord to do.

Our son is not marrying
an atheist.

Okeydoke.

**

This is nice, right?

What do you reckon
this thing's supposed to be?

Did you talk
to your mother

about letting us stay
in the same room this time?

I'll get those for you.

It would just be easier --

You're a pussy.
You know that?

I know. I never said
I wasn't a pussy.

[ Air hissing steadily ]

[ CPAP machine whirring ]

[ Alarm buzzes ]

Jeff, it's time.

[ Switch clicks ]

[ Ominous music playing ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Muffled scream ]

Okay. Let's do this.

So, what exactly
was in this syringe

you stuck into your son's
fiancée's leg?

Propofol.

As a veterinary nurse,
I have access

to some very powerful
sedatives.

The trick is figuring out
how much to use,

so I just tripled the dose
we gave a cocker spaniel

who had a hysterectomy.

Can you believe
that's what she sleeps in?

Talk about skimpy.

Looks like something
Farrah Fawcett would wear
on her honeymoon.

Just look
at those nipples.

Don't actually look, Jeff.
That's an expression.

Oh, sorry, I-I couldn't tell
from your inflection.

I mean, goodness gracious,
what's wrong with a proper pair

of old-fashioned,
tasteful PJ's?

What, has that girl
never heard of Lands' End?

[ Vehicle approaches ]
I-I know. Times change.

[ Engine revs ]

[ Keys jangle ]

This is why I want a normal job.
I could go back to school.

Do you remember
that commercial we saw?

If you say the words
"air-conditioning repair"
to me again,

I swear to God
I will stab you with a fork.

[ Keys clatter ]

[ Somber music playing ]

Jeff and I had already prepared
the hot tub area

for Lynn's baptism.

**

We had lit some candles we
had brought from the church...

...and I changed Lynn
into a more tasteful outfit

as Jeff averted his eyes.

The whole ceremony only takes
about 10 minutes.

Jeff dunked her under water
about four times,

holding her nose to make sure
she didn't drown.

I dried her off
the best I could

and put her back
into her nightgown...

if you can call it that.

[ Door creaks, closes ]

Some lunatic wrote a filthy
story in the guest book

about women and feet.

I can't imagine how crowded
Hell must be these days.

Good morning.
Good morning!

How'd you sleep?

Great. Must be the mountain air.
I feel amazing.

Lynn can blame it on
the mountain air all she wants,

but I knew why she felt
the way she did.

It was the first time
she woke up

with the Lord in her soul.

And because of that,
we all started to get along.

But I'm not saying definitively
that there is no God.

I mean, how could I?

My doubt
of a higher being

is based
on the absence of proof.

So, there's an argument
to be made

that without tangible proof
that there is no God,

I can't logically
rule it out.

I was feeling so good

about the change
that was happening in Lynn

that I got brave enough
to take a little gamble.

Lynn, listen.

I know you have your beliefs,
and I totally respect that.

But I bought something
for you

before I knew
about the whole atheist thing,

and I've been holding onto it,
which is really silly

because it's just
a beautiful piece of jewelry.

Oh, my. Look at that.

There's a little Jesus
on there.

Well, that's one way
of looking at it.

Or, it's just
a pretty necklace

with a very fit,
long-haired hippie on a cross.

It doesn't matter
who you think it is.

There's no denying
that the blue of his tears

really makes
your eyes pop.

Thank you. I love it.

You're welcome.

Did you sleep
with the window open?

Yeah,
but the screen was shut.

Hey, have you guys gotten bitten
by any bugs while we're here?

Lynn woke up with
something weird on her leg.

-[ Gasps ] Oh, my.
-Good Lord.

It's bad, right?
I told you it was bad!
Well, I don't know.

Jill: No, no, no.
It's not bad.

It's, um,
just a bug bite.

Last time we were up here,
I had something very similar.

It'll go away.
It'll go away.

It'll...go away.

Dear Lord, as I have told you
repeatedly throughout the day,

we have a problem.

Lynn's leg is still red
and inflamed

around the injection site.

Will you stop reading
and get down on your knees?

I already prayed

when you were in the bathroom
shaving your calluses.

Did you pray
about Lynn's leg?

Yeah, mostly.

I chatted with Him a little bit
about my brother's problem,

but no, most of it
was about the leg.

Your brother is a drunk
who was fired from Krispy Kreme.

I can't have the Lord
preoccupied with that right now.

Get on your knees.

I just started a chapter.

Get on your knees.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]

I'm sorry about that, Lord.
Where was I?

I'm here now, too.
He can see that.

Lord, I know you work
in mysterious ways,

but I need you to make
that mark go away.

Things have been better
than ever since Lynn's baptism,

so I don't know why you put
that mark there.

In any event, I need it
to disappear pronto.

And for that, I pray.

What are you doing?

Oh, getting into bed.

You haven't prayed
again yet.

Well, I thought as long
as I was next to you,

it was like I was --
[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Lord, it's me again --
Jeff.

How 'bout we put a pin
in all that stuff

about what my brother
may or may not have done

to those jelly doughnuts?

Instead, I'd like
to draw your attention

to the matter
my wife was discussing.

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Lynn screams ]

**

What's going on?

[ Gasps ]
Aah!

**

You're sure you don't want
to talk to me alone?

Why? I told you --
he fell on the fork.

I'd like to hear it
from him.

I fell on the fork.

Well, you're the one
who wanted to separate.

If you can't live
on the money we agreed on,

then maybe you should think
about getting a job.

Oh, that's funny to you.

It looks like she has
a MRSA staph infection.

Oh, that's not good.

We had a hamster that had
one of those,

and we had to burn him.

Yeah, I'm still here.

You gonna put my son on

so I can sing him
a "Happy Birthday"

before he goes to school
or not?

No, I'm not saying
he shouldn't brush his teeth.

Jesus, Jessica, does everything
have to be a fight?

-How could this happen?
-All it takes is the tiniest cut

for an infection to get in.
-Get in from where?

Oh, the MRSA virus
is everywhere.

You can pick it up
from a hotel doorknob,

a public restroom,

even a hot tub
if it's not cleaned properly.

Oh, dear Lord.

We have her on I.V. antibiotics.

We're gonna do everything we can
to save her leg.

-Can I see her?
-She's in exam room four.

We'll be admitting her
upstairs soon.

Eddie, if you're here
to get oxy again,

I'm gonna need to see
a broken bone.

I am not giv-- Hey, buddy!

* Happy Birthday to you

* Happy Birthday to you

Both:
* Happy Birthday dear

Bryce.

* Bryce

[ Harmonizing ]
* Happy Birthday to you

How 'bout that, huh?

I don't know. Just some guy.
But isn't that nice?

Happy Birthday, buddy.

**

I just don't get it, man.

Why are you doing this to me?

I baptized an atheist for you.

That's like dragging
Osama bin Laden
into the White House

and making him sing
the national anthem

while eating a hot dog!

Why are you punishing me?

I told you
this was a bad idea.

We should've stayed home and
baptized her in our own bathtub.

God knows who's been soaking

their infected body
in that hot tub.

That's right.

You knew exactly who had
been in that hut tub.

How the heck
did you allow this to happen?

[ Ethan clears throat ]

How long have you been
standing there?

Pretty long.

Ethan was less than pleased.

How could you do this?!

I did it for you.

Trust me, you do not want
to be married to an atheist.

You think God's
gonna pay attention

to you and your little
half-atheist babies?

And it was working, too.

You saw how nice Lynn was being
after we baptized her.

She admitted
there might be a God.

She even put on
the crucifix I gave her.

Because I bribed her!

I told her if she put up
with you and played nice

that I would --

I made a deal with her.

-What deal?
-It doesn't matter.

It doe matter.

I would like to know

what having your fiancée
pretend to like us

and act like she is somewhat
open to the existence of God

is worth to you.

Fine.

I told her
that I would go down on her

four times for every time
she goes down on me.

Oh, man.
That's a crap deal, son.

Why are you
telling us this?

You told me to!

Well, that's before
I knew what it was.

You knew what it was.
You should have known better.

You knew what it was.

Why did
you let him tell us?

Look, Ethan,
when you tell Lynn about this --

I'm not telling Lynn about this!

You're not?
Hell, no!

Guys, look at me.

I'm a chubby
grocery store manager

who sleeps
with a loud-ass machine

that keeps me alive at night.

An atheist with one leg
who blows me

25% of the time
that I go down on her

is as good as I'm gonna do,

and I'm not risking losing her
over this.

Ah.

**

If she loses that leg,

you might be able
to renegotiate that deal.

The next few days
were torture.

We didn't know
if Lynn was gonna live.

But eventually,
we got some good news.

The antibiotics worked.

-[ Chuckling ] Oh!
-Oh!

She has to see her doctor
when she gets home,

but she's gonna be fine.

Thank God.

You gave us
quite a scare, honey.

Tell me about it.

Come on, Dad.
Let's pull the car around.
Yeah.

Is that
a new turtleneck?

Yeah, I got it
at a thrift store,

but it's new to me.

I'm so glad
you're gonna be okay.

Me, too.
[ Door closes ]

To tell you the truth,
I kind of have you
to thank for it.

Me?

When you gave me
this necklace,

I have to admit I accepted it
just to be polite.

But after I'd been in here
a couple of days,

I started to get scared.

You know? Really scared.

And being an atheist,
I had nowhere to turn,

so I just took a shot.

I prayed.

And I felt better.

I felt like --
like I wasn't alone.

And then the next thing I knew,
the medicine started working.

I've always been
a non-believer because

I've never seen proof
that God existed,

but I can't
claim that anymore.

I welcomed Him into my life,
and I think He healed me.

Who knows. Maybe this
was His plan all along.

What do they say --
"The Lord works in
mysterious ways"?

Yeah.

That's what they say.

Wow.

My head wants
to condemn your actions,

but my heart is full
of God's adoration.

You brought a new member
into his flock.

Yeah, I sure did.

And that makes us even
'cause I'm leaving.

Excuse me?

I didn't come here
to confess, Father.

I came to resign.

I don't understand.

That son of a bitch up there

has put me through
the goddamn ringer.

Did He take the mark off her leg
when I asked Him to?

No, He made it bigger.

But when she asked Him
to heal her,

a goddamn atheist,
and suddenly, He's all ears.

What, is He into younger girls?
Is that what this is all about?

Jill, I don't think --

I have been to church
every Sunday of my life

because I thought it would
lead to a better life.

And guess what?
I'm still waiting.

Driving around in my mother's
old station wagon

because I give 10% of everything
I make to the church.

And don't even get me started
on the lousy body

your buddy God gave me
to parade around in.

-You're a beautiful woman.
-My nipples are an inch long!

Jeff won't even
go near them.

They look like the tail end
of a balloon animal.

Ah, but you should see

the nipples that He put
on the atheist.

Jill, if you would just --
Oh, save it, Padre.

I gave 63 years of my life
to that dude,

and this is how He treats me?

I don't have time
for this bullshit.

I'm out.

["Getting Ready to Get Down"
playing ]

* Mama got a look at you
and got a little worried *

* Papa got a look at you
and got a little worried *

* Pastor got a look and said,
"Y'all better hurry *

* Send her off to a little
Bible college in Missouri" *

[ Engine starts ]
* And now you come back sayin'
you know a little bit about *

* Every little thing they ever
hoped you'd never figure out *

* Eve ate the apple
'cause the apple was sweet *

* What kinda God would
ever keep a girl from
getting what she needs *

* And I'm

* Getting ready to get down

* Getting ready to get down

* Getting ready to get down

* Now people cross
the street when you walk
in their direction *

* Talk between their teeth,
throwin' epithets *

* And the doctor thinks a devil
must've got you by your senses *

* But to live the way you please
doesn't sound like possession *

* It's four long years
studyin' the Bible *

* Infidels, Jezebels,
Salomes, and Delilahs *

* Back off the bus
in your own hometown *

* Sayin' you didn't
like me then, probably
won't like me now *

* And I

* I'm getting ready
to get down *

* Getting ready to get down

* Getting ready to get down

* All the men of
the country club,
ladies of the 'xilliary *

* Talkin' 'bout love like
it's apple pie and liberty *

* To really be a saint,
you gotta really be a virgin *

* Dry as a page
of the King James Version *

* Oh-la-las,
oh, hell, yes *

* I can't wait,
I gotta see you againses *

* Turn the other cheek,
take no chances *

* Jesus hates
your high school dances *

**

[ Door opens ]

* They said your soul
needed savin', so they sent
you off to Bible school *

* You knew a little more
than they had heard
was in the Golden Rule *

* When you get damned
in the popular opinion *

[ Beeps ]
* It's just another damn
of the damns you're not giving *

* And I

* I'm getting ready
to get down *

* Getting ready to get down

* Getting ready to get down

Man:
Let me do the talking.

[ Radio chatter ]

In a hurry?

Sorry, officer.

Um, normally,
I would be the one driving,

but we stopped for lunch,
and my boss back there

pressured me into having
a couple of beers.

Anyway,
just to be extra careful,

I let ol' lead foot here

drive us up the rest of the way
to, uh, Froggy Cottage.

So, maybe you could
let us off with a warning?

I guess that sounds fair.

So your boss --
was he drinking as well?

Which boss?

Sir, will you step out
of the car, please?

**