Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,680
Ally !
2
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:47,320
John ? I ... I thought you and Nelle were going to the game.
3
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:57,240
Well, I just... umm, umm, little work to do... Why... Why are you so wet ?
4
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,440
It's the new look.
5
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,640
What's wrong ?
6
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,000
nothing.
7
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:23,680
Ally ?
8
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,240
I just met this guy.
9
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:31,600
Somebody I'd never laid eyes on before, I met him at the car wash, one of those drive-through things, and I think he works there.
10
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,000
.. you know, the, the...
11
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:34,680
The guy ?
12
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:38,040
Yeah, yeah, I think he dries the cars off or something.
13
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:42,200
And anyway, we made eye contact and... It wasn't even flirty !
14
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:49,040
I don't even think I smiled at him, but we certainly laid eyes on each other, and it was a look..
15
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,080
Like maybe we'd known each other in a prior life or something,
16
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,800
or maybe we were waiting to meet each other in this life...
17
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,200
Has that ever happened to you ?
18
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,600
Maybe once... I...
19
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,840
And then my car goes into the car wash and I...
20
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,400
and it's dark in there, and the car gets hit with soap
21
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:11,080
and... and there was this haunting feeling...
22
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,040
I... I can't really explain it, I just couldn't stop thinking about him.
23
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:19,920
And then all of a sudden the door opens and water comes gushing in and everywhere,
24
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,440
and I can't really see anything, and the door closes.
25
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,160
And I look up, he's in the car with me.
26
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,400
I'm not even afraid !
27
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:35,520
And we're soaking wet, and we start reading each other's minds or I should say fantasies,
28
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,800
and we don't say a word and we just start kissing.
29
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:47,200
Without a word !
30
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:55,560
And then he opens up the door again, and he pulls me out passenger side and...
31
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,760
I think we were in the... at the rinse section,
32
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,080
it was dark, and we start taking off each other's clothes !
33
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:12,600
And we make love right there inside of the car wash !
34
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:25,520
What ?
35
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,720
For all I know he could be some criminal !
36
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:35,240
And now... Pff... I know I should feel shame or guilt,
37
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:41,080
but all I feel... I just wanna drive back there and...
38
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,440
And I know that I used the term "make love".
39
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:50,280
But it wasn't that, John. No, it was that other word.
40
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,080
Which word ?
41
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,000
That vulgar verb we use to describe what two people...
42
00:03:55,000 --> 00:04:00,320
That's what we were doing, and that's what I wanna do to him again.
43
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,440
That vulgar verb...
44
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,920
Ally, hi ! Listen, I'm having a small dinner party next week.
45
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,800
I wasn't planning to invite you but if your feelings are gonna be hurt, I suppose I could make room.
46
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,960
Thank you Ling for being so concerned about my feelings.
47
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,080
Ally. Problem. Need you. Now.
48
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,160
What ?
49
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,520
Major client. His daughter. Some crisis. Mystery !
50
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:54,800
Richard, can we talk in whole sentences ?
It just helps me to follow.
51
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:59,560
Rise, this is Ally McBeal, whatever it is, you can tell her, she'll help you out.
52
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:05,280
Richard !?
53
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:09,920
-Hi
-Hello.
54
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,800
I understand that there's a problem.
55
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,200
Yes.
56
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:26,400
For me to help, you'll need to tell me what it is.
57
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,600
I'm getting married on Saturday, and it's a big wedding,
58
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:34,920
and suddenly my minister says that he won't perform the ceremony, and we can't use the church.
59
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:43,720
And there are 300 people that are coming, and this is the church that I grew up in, and my father...
60
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,000
I need your help.
61
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:50,720
Did your minister say why he wouldn't perform the ceremony ?
62
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,960
He didn't really have to tell me why...
63
00:06:53,960 --> 00:07:00,160
Yesterday he came over to say hello, it was a Sunday, he's a family friend, I was at my parents' house.
64
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:05,760
My parents weren't home, only me... and somebody else.
65
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:12,440
Reverend Breyer let himself in and he saw me... with the somebody else.
66
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,800
You and... ?
67
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,680
He walked in on me having sex with somebody other than my fiance.
68
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,440
It was a one-night bachelorette kind of thing, that's all !
69
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,520
I'm about to settle down for the rest of my life,
70
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,240
I just... I'm not a promiscuous person at all, I promise you !
71
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,320
And that's why your minister won't give you the church ?
72
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:34,840
And if it gets out why he's doing this, my fiance, he might... call off the wedding altogether and...
73
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,520
I don't think that there's anything you can legally do to...
74
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:42,920
Oh there must be, please !
75
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,960
Well, let me talk it over with my partners, can I do that ?
76
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:52,960
If you could keep it inside these walls... I have to save my wedding !
77
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,640
If I go into court, her secret's out.
78
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,800
You could seal the room, do it ex parte.
79
00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,440
No, no judge is gonna order a minister to perform a wedding ceremony, if they did that...
80
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,360
-Elaine would be married !
-I heard that !
81
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,960
Maybe you can make it a contract case ?
82
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:08,240
But then we'll get the church but not the minister, and evidently he's some life-long family friend.
83
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,560
What kind of woman has an affair the week before her wedding ?
84
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,800
As opposed to most women who wait till after... John, what are your thoughts ?
85
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,680
I'm troubled, there seems to be a rash of oversexed women lately...
86
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,760
John !!!
87
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,000
Is Ally having sex ?
88
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,760
No, I am not !
89
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,280
Well, if we're gonna go to court, let's go !
90
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:02,520
God ! You scared me !
91
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,920
You really think you can make it on your own, Renee ?
92
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,280
Do you know how hard it is to launch a law practice ?
93
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,280
Look if you came here to tell me that I can't...
94
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,800
I'm not here to tell you that you can't.
95
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,160
Then why are you here ?
96
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,920
I came to ask if you would like a partner.
97
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,240
What ?
98
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,920
I wanna practice again.
99
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:34,040
Well... Whipper !
100
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,120
A superior court judge, you could have your pick of any law firm in Boston !
101
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,120
I know that. I picked this one.
102
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:48,240
I'd be off-counsel, limited hours, I don't wanna be here every day... but I'd like to be here.
103
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:04,640
Nelle ! Tsk tsk !
104
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:10,440
John ? What is this tsk tsk ?
105
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,640
That's something you'd say to a horse instead of "Giddy up !".
106
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:19,520
And the hip wiggle... It bugs me...
107
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,040
I was saying Hello !
108
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,520
With this ? Tsk tsk ? John we're a couple !
109
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,960
You don't say Hi like a sophomore at Junior Prom !
110
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:37,720
No, I don't even have to go anymore.
111
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,040
I can't order a minister to perform a ceremony.
112
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,920
Your Honor, money was paid to reserve the church !
113
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,280
She can get a refund.
114
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,280
Can you imagine the emotional distress, the wedding is in two days !
115
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,560
I don't think your client should be in here arguing emotional distress !
116
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,840
What she did was immoral !
117
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,840
Your Honor, may I be heard ?
118
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,720
I was hoping it wouldn't come to that.
119
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:05,560
Yeah, it's unreasonable for this minister or any member of the clergy to demand morality from a parishioner,
120
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:09,120
the Church makes its money of the threat of Hell, if people weren't out there committing sins,
121
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,320
they wouldn't be running to Church seeking forgiveness and throwing money in the buckets.
122
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:16,080
I should also like to point out nobody frowns at a man when he slips at a bachelor party,
123
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:20,480
the ministers are usually right there slipping with him. But I object to is the double standard,
124
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,960
why is it OK for men to gather that last little rose bud and not for women ?
125
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,080
This is the highest form of gender discrimination and I won't stand for it !
126
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,800
Women love sex !
127
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:37,720
They love to think it, dream it, and talk about it, as long as they retain the right to sue you after.
128
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:44,040
Mister Fish, I am not going to order a minister to perform a wedding ceremony.
129
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:53,040
You're a gender bigot, Judge. I'd like you to walk a mile in her diaphragm.
130
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,000
Richard ?!
131
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,080
I was in the zone. Wasn't I in the zone ?
132
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,520
So now what ?
133
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:04,200
I'm gonna have to tell my father... And Joel, he's gonna leave me.
134
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,800
I am not a promiscuous person, I swear to you I'm not, I've never done anything like this before.
135
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,200
Look, our only appeal is to your minister.
136
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,640
He won't budge.
137
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:19,360
Well, let me think on it some, we'll go see him this afternoon.
138
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,120
I was in the zone !
139
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,440
Good for you !
140
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:47,040
Ally ! Can I talk to you a second ?
Since you were so candid with me the other day...
141
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,520
Yeah, which you almost spilled to everybody this morning...
142
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,200
I'm sorry !
143
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,920
I told you that in confidence !
144
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,440
It's just a coincidence.
145
00:12:53,440 --> 00:13:03,200
You representing a woman being so inconsiderably promiscuous after you yourself... Never mind !
146
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,800
What's your problem, John ?
147
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:15,760
Last week, when I went to Detroit - Roberts' deposition -,
148
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:24,640
I called Nelle from the hotel room, and she wanted to have phone sex.
149
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:29,000
Phone sex ?
150
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,160
And I couldn't.
151
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:35,080
I'm not even sure I know what that is, but since then,
152
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:41,920
Nelle and I...we've just... I can't achieve much of a rhythm !
153
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,120
Well, have you talked to her about this ?
154
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,760
No, no, Richard says communications is the death of any relationship...
155
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,080
Of course.
156
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:55,720
There is another problem, a bigger one.
I have been unable to access Him.
157
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,440
-Who ?
-Him !
-God?
158
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:07,040
No, not God ! Barry White ! I look in the mirror, I move... Nothing !
159
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,320
No... tub tud
160
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:17,840
I can't become one with him any longer, this makes me a lesser lover.
161
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,840
How can I help ?
162
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:25,440
Well, to be honest, your encounter in the car wash has me a little fraught.
163
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,200
See I've always thought that the key to being a good lover,
164
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,960
from a woman's standpoint, was the emotional connection !
165
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,240
Well, that is important.
166
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,040
But to hear you describe Saturday's experience,
167
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,480
I... I mean, am I correct in assuming that a woman,
168
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:53,680
even if she's not in love with the man, that the sex can still be good ?
169
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,480
Ally ?
170
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,880
Umm, it can be OK.
171
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,240
But..
172
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,920
And you're computer literate ?
173
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,360
Completely, IBM and Mac.
174
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:23,120
OK. Now we've talked about hours, and salary.
Would you mind taking off your shirt ?
175
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,040
I beg your pardon ?
176
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,880
I just want to see your chest. And your stomach.
177
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,080
Is that legal ?
178
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,200
Oh, it's illegal to require it, of course we wouldn't do that.
179
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:37,080
No, basically Daniel, the business of law is all about getting clients.
180
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,920
Now we plan to use our sensuality to do that.
181
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,520
Renee and I will provide a little eye candy for the men...
182
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:48,360
-And it would be rude not to have something here for the women...
-Absolutely.
183
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:55,440
Of course I can't do the ceremony.
Do you know the vows we recite and undertake ?
184
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,800
I understand, but...
185
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,680
-Did she tell you what I saw ?
-Reverend !
186
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,040
How could I participate in such a blatant lie ?
187
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,880
I plan to live up to my vows !
188
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,880
Don't insult my intelligence, Risa.
189
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:12,520
Reverend, if I may, certainly many married couples commit infidelity, and you counsel them.
190
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,960
Why shouldn't Risa be afforded the same compassion ?
191
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:21,800
What I saw... Umm umm, it wasn't the Risa Helms I know.
192
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:27,000
I'm ashamed, of course I am. Joel is a wonderful man.
193
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:36,920
He's smart, he's handsome, I see him as the father of my children, but...
194
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:41,120
But he's a terrible lover, he doesn't really know how to touch a woman.
195
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,200
That's your excuse ?
196
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,120
There's no excuse, but because I plan to be faithful to him,
197
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,960
because after the ceremony, he will be the only man I ever make love to again,
198
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:59,960
I wanted one time with someone who could do things to me, make me... feel things...
199
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:03,400
As I said this is not an excuse, but it's the truth.
200
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:12,880
And the other truth is, his sexual bungling aside, there is no man on Earth that I would or could love more than Joel.
201
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,120
I planed to take those vows very seriously on Saturday.
202
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:21,400
And I promise you, I'm not here only trying to spare embarrassments, I'm here asking my minister,
203
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:28,400
the minister that I grew up with, to unite me with the man that I love, under God.
204
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:33,600
And you said yourself, what you saw in that living room,
205
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,640
well, it wasn't the Risa Helms that you know.
206
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,680
And what you just heard, that is.
207
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,920
OK.
208
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,280
Oh ! Thank you ! God ! Thank you !
209
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,720
Have a wonderful wedding RH, and an even better... marriage.
210
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,200
Ally, I know we've only known each other for a day,
211
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:09,440
but after this I've got to ask you something, and you can not, can not say no !
212
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,840
Why are we here ?
213
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,880
Money.
We're sucking up for our biggest client.
214
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:36,600
Plus, a wedding is a beautiful thing when it's not yours !
Here she comes !
215
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:46,840
Hi !
These dresses are hideous !
216
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:49,200
Sorry... Sorry... A tickle... In my throat...
217
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:30,720
In the name of God, we are gathered here on this glorious day to celebrate,
218
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:35,560
and join Risa and Joel in matrimony.
219
00:20:35,560 --> 00:21:10,920
And it is God's presence that lends special joy to today's occasion.
220
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,120
-I, Joel.
-I, Joel.
221
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:48,600
-Vow to be your faithful husband
-Vow to be your faithful husband
222
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:57,680
-Offering you my pure and unwavering true love
-Offering you my pure and unwavering true love
223
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,160
-As we stand here now.
-As we stand here now.
224
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,440
-And in the presence of God.
-And in the presence of God.
225
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:10,320
-I commit myself to you.
-I commit myself to you.
226
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:16,400
-And may this day be just the beginning.
-And may this day be just the beginning.
227
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,920
-Of unending joy.
-Of unending joy.
228
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:25,280
-Fidelity and Devotion.
-Fidelity and Devotion.
229
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:30,800
-Through the power of our love.
-Through the power of our love.
230
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:42,400
Excellent !
The sun smiles on us today, and how can it not ?
231
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:48,400
As these two people pledge to cherish one another forever after.
232
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,600
Umm, before we go further,
233
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:59,320
if there's anybody here who has reason why Joel and Risa should not be joined in holy matrimony,
234
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:09,520
let him speak now, or forever after hold his peace.
235
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,760
No !
236
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:43,000
Oh... My... God !
237
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:48,600
I...I have a reason.
238
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,080
What's in God's name...
239
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:50,520
Ally ?
240
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,640
I'm sorry Risa !
241
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:57,720
What is your reason my child ? Is it... ?
242
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,720
Oh no, no, it's something... else.
243
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,280
Let's just do this, this is ridiculous !
244
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:11,600
What is it Ally ? It's traditional to share the reason with the congregation.
245
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:17,240
Well, we won't be honoring that tradition...
246
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:25,280
Umm umm... Whisper it to me...
247
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:35,560
A week ago, I had sex with the groom.
248
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:42,000
-Oh !
-No!
249
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:47,880
You what ?
250
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:55,880
I didn't know at the time that... well that he...
251
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,760
This is the best wedding I've ever been to !
252
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,800
Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to take a very short break.
253
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,920
Please remain in your seats.
254
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:32,200
Quiet ! Quiet ! Be quiet !
255
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,240
This is a lot of money...
256
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:45,920
Shut up, for God's sakes !
All right. Ally ?
257
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,560
Umm, I'm sorry.
258
00:25:55,560 --> 00:26:05,680
It happened at a car wash, and I didn't know who he was, and I'd never seen him before.
259
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:13,040
You'd never seen him before ? And you just made love ?
260
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:21,680
Look, it's... it's hard to explain.
261
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,800
Joel ?
262
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,760
Can I talk to you for a second please ?
263
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:28,440
It's true ?
264
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:34,960
I need to talk to you in private, come on.
265
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,600
I'm so sorry.
266
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,320
It started with that damn study.
267
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,360
What study ?
268
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:52,440
That study, the one that says that women are attracted to different kinds of men when they're ovulating.
269
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:53,200
What ?
270
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,600
It's true, they're drawn to nice stable home providers three weeks of the month,
271
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,360
then when they start to ovulate during mating season it's the virile masculine that...
272
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,320
We all know what category I fit into, Nelle,
273
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,480
and I don't like being dismissed every time a woman's eggs warm up,
274
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,080
and you add to that the debacle over the phone sex,
275
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,800
this Risa girl who had to live up her sexual fantasy before going down the aisle,
276
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,680
Ally at the car wash...
277
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:18,000
What is going on ?
278
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,840
I know women have sexual fantasies, it's the idea that they would act out on them...
279
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,960
Oh, like a man could but not a woman
280
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,600
That's different !
281
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,320
Why ?
282
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,400
Because with a man it is physical, with women, it is partly emotional.
283
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:33,320
You're saying a woman can't have a purely physical sexual fantasy ?!?
284
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,320
Goes against nature !
285
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:39,800
Elaine ?
286
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,280
I was just leaving...
287
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,640
I don't even know how to respond to that one, John.
288
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,840
I... If you're threatened by women having fantasies...
289
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:57,240
It's not that I don't love you, or that I don't want to be with you, or that I don't enjoy making love to you...
290
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,600
I don't want you thinking of any other man.
291
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,440
You want to regulate my thoughts ?
292
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,520
No, I want you to regulate them.
293
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:10,640
John, I... Go away ! Just go away !
294
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,200
What did you have to say anything ?
295
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:27,440
I mean, Ally, if you want to go around fornicating in car washes, fine !
296
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,560
But this is the daughter of our biggest client, why ruin her wedding ?
297
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,360
Because I had to, OK ?
298
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:36,800
Why ? Why is it OK for Risa to have one last fling alliance but not for Joel, because frankly...
299
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,560
Richard, if you give me that double standard speech one more time, I swear...
300
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,440
I'm just confused...
Kumquat ? Could you help me out ?
301
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,680
She perhaps felt upstaged by the bride, and this is a way to make it about her.
302
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,200
Hey, hey, hey, hey !
303
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,480
Do you think it was easy for me to do what I did in front of a whole church full of people ?
304
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:57,120
Do you think there's one person sitting out there right now who doesn't think I'm some cheap slut ?
305
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,400
No.
306
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,040
Then why did you do it ?
307
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,960
Why not just let them get married and let it be their problem, why did you have to make it mine ?
308
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,520
Because he's marrying her for her money, Richard !
309
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:07,920
How do you know that ?
310
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,120
I just do.
311
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,560
Did he tell you this ?
312
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,320
We didn't talk, we just had sex !
313
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,040
Then how could you possibly know ?
314
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,760
Richard, I know it's none of my business,
315
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,520
I know the conventional wisdom tells me to just stay out of this, and I know
316
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:23,480
there are 100 reasons for me to keep my mouth shut !
317
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,640
I couldn't !
318
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,760
You were willing to let that wedding go forward knowing she was unfaithful,
319
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,880
why is it different with him ?
320
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,040
-Because it is.
-Why ?
321
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,640
Because I was there !
322
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:41,560
Are you sticking out for Risa, or are you punishing him ?
323
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,240
That... I don't... know.
324
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,320
I always wondered what it would be like in a car, as it was being washed...
325
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,440
Ling, I really don't want to talk about it !
326
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,640
Oh, I'm not criticizing you,
327
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,960
I think there's something brave about a woman who identifies a fantasy and just... pursues it.
328
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,120
Thank you.
329
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,760
In ancient China, your head would be cut off.
330
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,960
The families are meeting, trying to figure out what to do. We were fired.
331
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,080
Oh, sorry Richard !
332
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:28,160
It's OK, Ally, I know you did in your twisted mind what you thought you had to do.
333
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,280
I appreciate your support.
334
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,960
OK, we're back on.
335
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,680
We are ?
336
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,640
Yes, Risa and Joel talked things out,
337
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,920
and I guess she agrees, he was no more guilty than she was, so...
338
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,040
The wedding is on ?
339
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,800
Yes ! And as disinclined as I was before to perform the ceremony,
340
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,360
you can imagine my excitement now !
341
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,520
But I got a room full of people out there, and a situation.
342
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,280
She no longer wants you as bridesmaid though.
343
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:56,160
Umm, there's a shocker.
344
00:30:56,160 --> 00:31:02,760
So just go take a seat with the guests, and we'll try to get through this.
345
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,080
OK.
346
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:57,520
John ? Earlier, I couldn't help but overhear. Seems I never can help it.
347
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:58,600
And ?
348
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:03,360
And well it's true, we all do have our little fantasies,
349
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:08,720
you were wrong to think that men like you can't be in them.
350
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:13,240
Sexy... is all inside, John.
351
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,400
Look at me.
352
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,440
I may not be the most beautiful woman on Earth, but do I ooze sex ?
353
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,480
Yes Elaine. In buckets.
354
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,040
Because it's in me ! Let it be in you !
355
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,440
My problem...
356
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,920
My problem is, I've always felt it through Barry, and Barry won't come to me anymore
357
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,560
On some level, maybe Barry's is little J.E.L.
358
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:35,680
I beg your pardon ?
359
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,920
Do you ever wonder why an exotic beauty like Nelle wants to be with you ?
360
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,680
We all do !
361
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:42,800
You all wonder ?
362
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,880
No !
We women all wanna be with you, you're the hottest guy in the office.
363
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,880
And you don't even know it, you hot little biscuit !
364
00:32:50,880 --> 00:33:04,200
Maybe it's lucky for us that you don't know it,
because if you ever became a predator, you'd ruin lives !
365
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:21,840
Barry's coming ! I can feel him coming !
366
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,640
Oh, now you take yourself to Nelle, and if she tells you to go away,
367
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:52,800
you bring yourself back to me, you hot little biscuit !
368
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,720
-I, Risa...
-I, Risa...
369
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:05,960
-Take you Joel to be my husband from this day forward.
-Take you Joel to be my husband from this day forward.
370
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:12,840
-To join with you and share all things to come
-To join with you and share all things to come
371
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:20,600
-For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
-For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
372
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:25,400
Excuse me ? Umm... Can I speak to Risa for one second ?
373
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,720
No !
374
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:30,640
I'm sorry, it won't take one second, I promise... No, no, no...
375
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:31,920
What are you doing ?
376
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,760
One second
377
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:42,920
What ?!?
378
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,480
Woo, this isn't easy to say...
379
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,320
Well, say it fast, there's a church full of people in there,
380
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,280
plus a restaurant rented out for a reception.
381
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,160
It's getting dark !
382
00:34:51,160 --> 00:35:01,080
Remember when you were talking to Minister Breyer, the other day...
383
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:10,520
You said that Joel was a terrible lover and that he didn't know how to touch a woman...
384
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,160
I can deal with that, Ally, a marriage is much more than sex.
385
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:25,040
I completely agree, but what I'm saying is, that Joel... is... Umm...
386
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,920
He's an incredible lover.
387
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,320
Risa, he's the most amazing lover I've ever been with,
388
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,960
I mean, not that I've been with that many,
389
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:42,440
but... that man... he knows how to touch a woman.
390
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,360
Sex it's... it's subjective.
391
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:52,000
Yes, it is, but trust me, speaking objectively, that man...
392
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:57,240
Well if he's not touching you, well then there's something wrong.
393
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:59,440
Either he doesn't have any passion for you...
394
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,320
Or he's just... he's not being truthful.
395
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,880
I think that you have a experienced womanizer marrying you for your money,
396
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,640
and as your lawyer, as your bridesmaid,
397
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:28,240
I just couldn't sit there and see you get hurt.
398
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,320
I'm sorry. The wedding's off.
399
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,520
Who do you think you are ?
400
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,600
I don't know.
401
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,160
And I don't know who you are,
402
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:10,760
but I certainly know that you're capable of fooling women.
403
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,600
I didn't owe you any honesty.
404
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,400
No, I guess you didn't.
405
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:27,280
But as for the woman wearing the white dress,
you haven't really been honest with her, have you Joel ?
406
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:32,480
Oh Joy ! What am I supposed to do with this ?
407
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:43,880
Oh yeah, that was beautiful ! Beautiful !
Applaud, applaud ! Smooth ! Smooth as silk !
408
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,680
So... that was it ?
409
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:01,480
That was it ! Ally McBeal, home wrecker ! Here's my card
410
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,400
Oh I have it ! Thank you !
411
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,680
Why did you do it ? You didn't owe her anything.
412
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,920
Since when did honesty become a duty ?
413
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,040
Let me put it this way :
if you see somebody, on the side of the road, hurt, would you stop ?
414
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,280
-No.
-Hey !
415
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:19,000
-Hey !
-Hey ! Old time signs. Is it true ? Did you quit the bench ?
416
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,320
I'm in private practice !
417
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,520
Yeah
418
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,240
How did the wedding go ?
419
00:38:23,240 --> 00:38:24,440
Don't ask !
420
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,920
Look at me ! Surrounded by all those wattles ! Dance one ?
421
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:32,480
Let's go ! I love your dress !
422
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:33,840
We're too old for this bar !
423
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,160
Is that so, Liiiing ?
424
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,440
Battle woman ! I love it !
425
00:39:51,320 --> 00:40:00,200
John ? John ? You're all right ?
426
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:06,640
Yeah. Yeah. I think... It's just... You looked a little different for a second.
427
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,760
Different how ?
428
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,920
You don't wanna know ?
429
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,680
Are you sure you're OK ?
430
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:21,760
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
431
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,440
Well, I'm glad you're here.
432
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,640
Yeah, me too
37329
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof