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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Sheldon Cooper.
3
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,441
What?
4
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:10,912
I finished reading it.
My name's Sheldon Cooper.
5
00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,579
What... You finished it?
6
00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:13,914
Yes.
7
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:14,881
Impressive.
8
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,516
Wha... You should major
in computer science.
9
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,452
No, thanks. I'll stick
to real science.
10
00:00:30,463 --> 00:00:32,631
Excuse me, but you're not Evan.
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00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:33,968
True.
12
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Where's Evan?
Elsewhere.
13
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:36,970
So you don't know?
14
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,171
True.
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00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,774
Oh, good. You met Joaquin.
16
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,509
Proper introductions were not
made. What's he doing here?
17
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,579
Uh, he's helping me
write an algorithm
18
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,581
so, uh, we can beat
the stock market.
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00:00:47,613 --> 00:00:48,950
Why?
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00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:52,920
Uh, well, so we can get rich,
buy cool cars and get girls.
21
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:54,921
But mostly the girls.
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00:00:54,956 --> 00:00:57,057
Isn't the search for knowledge
its own reward?
23
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,694
Uh, yeah, sure, if the
knowledge helps you get girls.
24
00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:02,271
That seems like a lot
of unnecessary effort
25
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,597
just to meet females.
26
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,765
Yeah, we've tried
talking to them.
27
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,268
Actual disaster.
28
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,567
You want to help us?
29
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,004
I don't need to meet girls.
30
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,539
In fact, I'd like
to know fewer people, not more.
31
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,242
You could use the money
to buy yourself something fun.
32
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:19,313
Ooh, like a particle accelerator
or 100 tanks of liquid nitrogen.
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00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:22,549
I was thinking
of a hot tub, but okay.
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I can't get you
to take a shower,
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00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:25,819
and-and you want a hot tub?
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00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,254
Girls like hot tubs.
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00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,890
How much would it cost to build
a particle accelerator?
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00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,192
Conservatively,
four to ten billion dollars.
39
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,560
Then you need to help us.
40
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,295
Hmm. Well,
I haven't done much coding,
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00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,897
but I am good at everything.
42
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,299
Okay, I'm in charge.
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00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,001
Scoot.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:55,115
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
49
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:01,923
What are you watching?
Travis Lemon.
50
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,590
The crazy church guy?
51
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,992
He's not crazy.
Well, his hair is.
52
00:02:06,027 --> 00:02:08,561
Well, I got news for y'all.
53
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,698
Jesus wants you to prosper.
54
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:15,201
He wants you to have nice
things, a life of abundance.
55
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,971
Says so right here in the book.
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00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,975
"My God shall supply all your
needs according to His riches
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00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,743
in glory by Jesus Christ."
58
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,612
He's right. It does say that.
59
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,615
When's it's over?
I want to watch MTV.
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00:02:28,647 --> 00:02:30,483
Reverend Travis has a band.
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00:02:30,516 --> 00:02:32,086
They rock pretty hard.
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00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,822
The same is true for you.
63
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:38,259
Jesus fed 5,000 people
with five loaves of bread,
64
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,227
but somebody had
to give him those loaves.
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00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:41,962
And that's what I need from you.
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00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,198
Every dollar you donate
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00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:47,367
to the Travis Lemon ministry
will be returned to you tenfold!
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00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,635
Tenfold, my sweet patootie.
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00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:52,639
As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
70
00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:55,175
Daphne, get the address
on the screen?
71
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,378
So you get the checkbook out,
72
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,479
and you show how much
you love the Lord,
73
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,581
and the Lord will love you back.
74
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,151
And when your neighbor asks you,
75
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:06,552
"Where'd you get that new
Cadillac?" you tell 'em,
76
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,923
"On the corner
of Heaven and Saved."
77
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,290
Oh, what the heck.
78
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,293
All right, Steve-arooni,
let's hit it!
79
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,068
Hey, Missy.
Hey. What are you doing?
80
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:23,569
Just breaking in my new shoes
for school.
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00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,007
They're brown.
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00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,274
Cool.
83
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,808
Can I watch your TV?
84
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,243
Sure.
85
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,814
That squeaking you're hearing
is my new shoes.
86
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,051
♪ Getting edgy all the time... ♪
87
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,453
Where's your mom at?
88
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,721
She went to my Aunt Sylvia's
for a few days.
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00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:44,057
Aunt Sylvia has a big lump
on her neck.
90
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,225
So you're alone?
91
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,593
Just me and my chickens.
92
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,295
Billy, we have to throw a party.
93
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,596
For the chickens?
94
00:03:49,628 --> 00:03:51,598
No! For us!
Why?
95
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,633
What do you mean "why"?
Your mom's not home.
96
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:56,370
What would we do? Play games?
97
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,837
Yeah, drinking games.
98
00:03:57,872 --> 00:04:00,706
Like when you paid me a dollar
to chug a gallon of milk?
99
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,176
That was a different game,
and I'm sorry.
100
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,611
Boy, did I throw up.
101
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,213
For this party,
I'm thinking beer.
102
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,615
We're not old enough
to drink beer.
103
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,085
That's why kids'll come.
104
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,752
Smart.
105
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,989
Do you think they'll like eggs?
106
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,223
I have so many eggs.
107
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,658
What's that A-sub-one-variable?
108
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:20,995
It's undefined.
109
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,762
It's defined
in the previous subroutine.
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00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,398
Oh, my. That is elegant.
111
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,399
We don't use the word "elegant."
112
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,867
Why? What's wrong with it?
113
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:31,237
Well, last semester,
I invited a girl to my room
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00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,740
to look at my elegant coding,
115
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,742
and... she called the police,
so...
116
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,079
Understood.
So what happens next?
117
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,283
Uh, we just buy the stocks
the algorithm suggests.
118
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,086
With what?
Our student loan money.
119
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,019
How much are you in for?
120
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,887
Oh, my mother's always warned me
121
00:04:47,922 --> 00:04:50,156
against the evils of gambling.
122
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,759
Well, it's not gambling,
it-it's math.
123
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,528
Is your mother against math?
124
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,230
Well, when you use it to prove
125
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,141
the Earth wasn't made in seven
days, she gets a little touchy.
126
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,733
It's your call.
127
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:03,903
Particle accelerator,
or no particle accelerator?
128
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:07,307
Let me fetch my money sock.
129
00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:15,548
You keep your money in a sock?
130
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,550
My meemaw keeps her
money in her bra.
131
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,853
Does she like hot tubs?
132
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,990
So how are you and Dale
getting along?
133
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,093
Well, I rode a bike seven miles
134
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:29,062
to have coffee with you,
so that should tell you.
135
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,297
Not going well?
136
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:31,865
Oh, it's fine.
137
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,266
It's just, after you've lived
138
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,069
by yourself for a long time,
139
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,403
having a roommate takes
a little getting used to.
140
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,007
I'm sure Dale's doing his best.
141
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,108
That's my fear.
142
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:46,413
Mare, what's this $50
to an "R.T.L.M."?
143
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,281
Reverend Travis Lemon
Ministries.
144
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,617
I made a donation.
145
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,718
The goofy guy with the hair?
146
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,254
He's not goofy,
147
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,557
and he preaches the gospel
in a way that speaks to me.
148
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,591
Yeah, well, let me speak to you.
149
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,326
We can't be throwing away
50 bucks.
150
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,163
We are not throwing it away.
151
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,430
We are gonna get
that money back plus some.
152
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:05,798
Oh, honey, now, come on.
153
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,168
You can't possibly
believe that B.S.
154
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,906
Maybe. Reverend Travis says
that Jesus wants us to prosper.
155
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,307
Is that why
156
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,108
he huffed and puffed
and blew my house down?
157
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:17,011
I'm cancelling this check.
Don't you dare.
158
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,879
Mary, this is groceries
for a week.
159
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,848
We will get it back.
We just need to have faith.
160
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,384
Will you talk some sense
into your daughter?
161
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,853
If I could talk sense into her,
162
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,754
she would never
have married you.
163
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:31,858
She had to marry me
because I got her pregnant. Ha!
164
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,994
Huh.
165
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,132
He ain't wrong about the money.
166
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,731
Thank you!
167
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:46,709
Well, gentlemen,
we've doubled our income
168
00:06:46,742 --> 00:06:48,476
in a little over eight hours.
169
00:06:48,511 --> 00:06:50,079
I'm gonna need a bigger sock.
170
00:06:50,112 --> 00:06:52,415
The good news is,
our algorithm is working,
171
00:06:52,447 --> 00:06:54,817
and it's getting more efficient
with every trade.
172
00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,519
Which is why
we have to stay strong.
173
00:06:56,552 --> 00:06:58,687
We can't expect
to be millionaires overnight.
174
00:06:58,721 --> 00:07:00,755
It'll take...
175
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,223
12 to 14 business days.
176
00:07:02,257 --> 00:07:04,526
It's actually gonna happen.
177
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:05,959
I'm gonna have sex.
178
00:07:05,994 --> 00:07:08,329
Where are you going?
179
00:07:08,363 --> 00:07:10,365
To take a shower.
180
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:14,870
Hey, can I talk to you?
181
00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:16,704
Yeah. What's up?
182
00:07:16,738 --> 00:07:17,971
Actually, in there.
183
00:07:18,007 --> 00:07:19,641
You ain't pregnant, are you?
184
00:07:19,675 --> 00:07:21,877
No. How could you say that?!
185
00:07:21,911 --> 00:07:23,446
Been known to happen.
186
00:07:27,016 --> 00:07:28,516
Okay.
187
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:31,586
So, Billy's mom's away,
and we're throwing a party.
188
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,055
All right.
189
00:07:33,088 --> 00:07:35,257
Do you think if I took some
of Dad's beer, he'd notice?
190
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:37,125
Do you think he'd notice?
191
00:07:37,158 --> 00:07:38,661
Okay, dumb question.
192
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:42,130
Anyways, you're too young.
You shouldn't be drinking.
193
00:07:42,163 --> 00:07:43,865
You just asked
if I was pregnant.
194
00:07:43,899 --> 00:07:45,533
Well, don't do either.
195
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:48,536
So you wouldn't buy us a case
of beer if I gave you the money?
196
00:07:48,571 --> 00:07:50,906
Missy, I'm not old
enough to buy beer.
197
00:07:50,939 --> 00:07:52,641
That's never stopped you before.
198
00:07:52,675 --> 00:07:54,209
And I'm ashamed of myself.
199
00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:56,345
I'll tell you what I can do.
200
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:59,314
I got something for a party
that's better than beer.
201
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:02,016
What?
202
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:05,954
Bottle rockets, Roman candles,
M80s, the works.
203
00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:09,024
Oh, sure. Thanks.
204
00:08:09,057 --> 00:08:10,692
You're not excited now,
but trust me,
205
00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:13,661
you blow up one mailbox,
and you got yourself a party.
206
00:08:18,934 --> 00:08:20,401
Need a hand?
207
00:08:20,435 --> 00:08:22,437
Yeah, sure.
208
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,778
Hey, so, when you were my age,
did you go any parties?
209
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:31,447
Oh, yeah.
210
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,384
The good ones I remember,
the great ones... gone.
211
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:36,851
That is so cool.
212
00:08:36,885 --> 00:08:38,687
Ah, I was pretty cool.
213
00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:40,688
You get invited to one?
214
00:08:40,722 --> 00:08:42,524
Kind of.
215
00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:43,692
Ooh, tell me.
216
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,096
I'm sort of helping
my friend throw it.
217
00:08:47,129 --> 00:08:50,466
First party. That's a big deal.
218
00:08:50,499 --> 00:08:51,667
Any advice?
219
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,470
Hmm. Well, for starters,
220
00:08:54,503 --> 00:08:56,071
music is key.
221
00:08:56,105 --> 00:08:57,639
You want it good,
you want it loud,
222
00:08:57,673 --> 00:08:59,140
but not so loud the cops come.
223
00:08:59,173 --> 00:09:01,610
Although, if they do,
you're a legend.
224
00:09:01,644 --> 00:09:02,745
Damn.
225
00:09:02,778 --> 00:09:04,178
And if you have make-out spots,
226
00:09:04,212 --> 00:09:06,749
you want to keep 'em private,
but not too private.
227
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:08,250
You know, closets, pantries.
228
00:09:08,283 --> 00:09:10,686
You want to keep your guests standing.
Makes sense.
229
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:11,820
Mm-hmm.
230
00:09:11,854 --> 00:09:13,621
And, um, I've heard
231
00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:16,759
at some of these parties
there's drinking?
232
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,895
Oh.
233
00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:23,331
Well... yeah, sometimes,
234
00:09:23,365 --> 00:09:24,866
but, uh,
235
00:09:24,899 --> 00:09:28,636
fun can be had without... it.
236
00:09:29,404 --> 00:09:32,575
Uh-huh, but just in case,
237
00:09:32,607 --> 00:09:33,808
would you buy it for us?
238
00:09:34,809 --> 00:09:36,245
No.
Why not?
239
00:09:36,278 --> 00:09:37,846
Because you're a kid.
240
00:09:37,879 --> 00:09:38,980
You were a kid.
241
00:09:39,014 --> 00:09:41,216
Yeah, but it was different.
How?
242
00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:45,120
The point is, I'm a mom now.
243
00:09:45,153 --> 00:09:46,120
A cool mom.
244
00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:47,456
Not that cool.
245
00:09:47,489 --> 00:09:49,258
Besides, the only
underage person
246
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,793
that I'm gonna buy alcohol for
is the father of my child.
247
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,596
You really aren't cool.
248
00:09:59,335 --> 00:10:00,535
Thanks for seeing me.
249
00:10:00,568 --> 00:10:02,770
Of course,
my door is always open.
250
00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,006
Smoke?
251
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:05,941
I'm good. I'll just
breathe in yours.
252
00:10:05,975 --> 00:10:07,509
Suit yourself.
253
00:10:12,081 --> 00:10:13,581
Could we have a little privacy?
254
00:10:13,615 --> 00:10:16,150
I'll just be listening
at the door.
255
00:10:17,052 --> 00:10:19,054
She does.
256
00:10:19,088 --> 00:10:20,288
So, what can we do for you?
257
00:10:20,322 --> 00:10:21,889
Well, I was thinking
maybe it was time
258
00:10:21,923 --> 00:10:23,458
for Mary to come back
to the church.
259
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:25,226
You know, be a part
of your herd again.
260
00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:26,461
We say flock.
261
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:29,264
Although, Texas...
herd works.
262
00:10:29,298 --> 00:10:31,166
With all the beef and whatnot.
263
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:34,302
Well, Mary's always welcome.
264
00:10:34,336 --> 00:10:36,238
Great.
265
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,340
Oh. Maybe you could use her
back here in the office.
266
00:10:38,374 --> 00:10:41,210
Nah, we got things covered.
267
00:10:43,078 --> 00:10:44,212
Do you need to answer that?
268
00:10:44,245 --> 00:10:45,648
No, they'll call back.
269
00:10:45,681 --> 00:10:47,049
Peg, please.
270
00:10:47,082 --> 00:10:48,716
All right, bossy.
271
00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:58,326
So, uh...
272
00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,662
what do you think?
273
00:10:59,695 --> 00:11:01,797
Mary said she wants
to come back?
274
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:03,399
Not in so many words.
275
00:11:03,432 --> 00:11:04,600
But I know if you asked her,
276
00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,335
it would just mean
the world to me,
277
00:11:06,368 --> 00:11:08,937
to her, to us...
278
00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:10,205
To God.
279
00:11:10,239 --> 00:11:11,840
I'll pray on it.
280
00:11:11,874 --> 00:11:13,241
Great.
281
00:11:16,278 --> 00:11:17,980
I'll pray on it later.
282
00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,881
Right. Sure.
283
00:11:25,988 --> 00:11:27,690
Fascinating.
284
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,693
Why aren't you doing
what I tell you?
285
00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,294
We rich yet?
286
00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:34,697
Yeah, we better be.
287
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:35,697
Evan went nuts.
288
00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:36,798
He got garlic sticks.
289
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:39,001
Did either of you
authorize the algorithm
290
00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:40,501
to make foreign trades?
291
00:11:41,537 --> 00:11:42,336
No.
No.
292
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,739
Well, that's what it's doing.
293
00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:46,774
We own 7,000 shares
of Chow Fat Enterprises
294
00:11:46,808 --> 00:11:48,409
on the Hong Kong exchange.
295
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,412
Fascinating.
296
00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:51,879
That's what I said.
297
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,850
It's trading on its own?
298
00:11:55,884 --> 00:11:57,251
It would seem so.
299
00:11:57,286 --> 00:11:59,388
Uh, we... need to
stop it, pull the plug.
300
00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:01,191
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
301
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,192
Are we up or down?
302
00:12:02,224 --> 00:12:03,258
We're up.
303
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:04,692
Then what's the problem?
304
00:12:04,726 --> 00:12:06,595
The problem is
we've lost control.
305
00:12:06,628 --> 00:12:08,030
This is Frankenstein's monster.
306
00:12:08,063 --> 00:12:09,630
You say that
like it's a bad thing.
307
00:12:09,664 --> 00:12:10,865
What?
308
00:12:10,899 --> 00:12:12,168
To reanimate life was
309
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:13,278
an incredible
scientific achievement.
310
00:12:13,302 --> 00:12:14,312
The real bad guys
in the story are
311
00:12:14,336 --> 00:12:15,604
the ignorant villagers.
312
00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:18,307
You were on the monster's side?
313
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:19,807
Unfairly hounded
for being different?
314
00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:20,808
You betcha.
315
00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,111
Guys, guys, guys.
316
00:12:22,144 --> 00:12:23,312
Chow Fat stock just split.
317
00:12:23,345 --> 00:12:24,879
We have 14,000 shares.
318
00:12:24,913 --> 00:12:28,583
So, we created an algorithm
that's evolving by itself
319
00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:30,686
and becoming a new
form of intelligence?
320
00:12:31,486 --> 00:12:33,188
And I, Sheldon Cooper,
321
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:35,225
wholeheartedly think
it's terrific.
322
00:12:35,256 --> 00:12:37,558
It may be listening.
323
00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:43,198
How do we do this?
324
00:12:43,232 --> 00:12:44,600
We just got to wait for someone
325
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:45,900
who's old enough to buy beer
326
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,635
but young enough to be cool.
327
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:48,736
Got it.
328
00:12:49,538 --> 00:12:51,673
Try him.
Excuse me, sir...
329
00:12:51,706 --> 00:12:53,042
Buy your own beer.
330
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,308
Thank you.
331
00:12:55,077 --> 00:12:56,812
I think he was onto us.
332
00:12:58,813 --> 00:13:00,315
Let me try.
333
00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:02,551
Hey.
Hey.
334
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,921
Would you buy me beer?
I forgot my ID at home.
335
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,222
How old are you?
336
00:13:07,256 --> 00:13:08,724
Um...
337
00:13:08,756 --> 00:13:09,756
thirty.
338
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,628
Twenty-five?
339
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,097
This isn't working.
340
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,765
Maybe the party was a bad idea.
341
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:19,902
Hey, mister,
342
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:21,104
will you buy us some beer?
343
00:13:21,136 --> 00:13:22,870
I'm not old enough.
344
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,942
Those guys thought
I was a grown-up.
345
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,278
Billy!
346
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:30,678
What?
347
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,081
Here's your change.
Thank you.
348
00:13:33,115 --> 00:13:36,485
♪ I'm on my way to Italy ♪
349
00:13:36,518 --> 00:13:39,121
♪ From the Gulf of Mexico... ♪
350
00:13:39,154 --> 00:13:40,222
You can go now.
351
00:13:40,255 --> 00:13:42,356
Thank you.
352
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:46,229
Howdy, neighbor.
353
00:13:46,263 --> 00:13:48,932
Pastor Jeff,
how nice to see you.
354
00:13:48,965 --> 00:13:50,500
Am I interrupting anything?
355
00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:52,936
No, no, come on in.
356
00:13:54,739 --> 00:13:56,506
So, what brings you by?
357
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:59,042
Well, I've been thinking, uh,
358
00:13:59,076 --> 00:14:00,778
we really miss you
over at the church
359
00:14:00,812 --> 00:14:03,581
and maybe you might
consider coming back.
360
00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,115
Well...
361
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:08,820
that's awful kind of you,
but I've joined a new church.
362
00:14:08,884 --> 00:14:10,854
Oh! The Methodists got you,
didn't they?
363
00:14:10,886 --> 00:14:12,389
Oh, no.
364
00:14:12,422 --> 00:14:13,923
Reverend Travis Lemon.
365
00:14:13,956 --> 00:14:16,326
Oh, not the fella with the hair.
366
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,730
Mary, he's a snake oil salesman,
367
00:14:19,764 --> 00:14:20,963
taking people's money
368
00:14:20,996 --> 00:14:22,274
and promising 'em
all kinds of riches.
369
00:14:22,298 --> 00:14:23,933
Well...
370
00:14:25,369 --> 00:14:29,673
Then how do you explain
this check I got from the IRS?
371
00:14:29,706 --> 00:14:31,542
$800.
372
00:14:31,576 --> 00:14:32,975
I sent Reverend Travis $50
373
00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:34,711
and that came the very next day.
374
00:14:34,745 --> 00:14:37,047
Oh, come on.
375
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,149
It had to be in the mail
before you sent your money in.
376
00:14:40,182 --> 00:14:41,283
Did it?
377
00:14:41,317 --> 00:14:44,354
Of course. I'm as patriotic
as the next guy,
378
00:14:44,388 --> 00:14:47,591
but our postal service
flat-out sucks.
379
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,725
Excuse my French.
380
00:14:48,759 --> 00:14:51,260
Well, we disagree.
381
00:14:51,293 --> 00:14:53,697
Reverend Travis says
that the Lord wants me
382
00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:55,899
to be prosperous
and I believe him.
383
00:14:55,932 --> 00:14:58,434
This is nothing
but a coincidence.
384
00:14:58,467 --> 00:14:59,604
You overpaid your taxes,
385
00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:02,874
you got a refund,
Jesus has nothing to do with it.
386
00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:04,542
You sound like Sheldon.
387
00:15:06,778 --> 00:15:08,745
I believe I know my way out.
388
00:15:08,779 --> 00:15:10,147
Mm.
389
00:15:11,181 --> 00:15:13,850
♪ Like me care for you? ♪
390
00:15:13,884 --> 00:15:15,720
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Why do I bother... ♪
391
00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:17,120
Help me move this, will you?
392
00:15:17,153 --> 00:15:18,120
What are you doing?
393
00:15:18,154 --> 00:15:19,624
Making a dance floor.
394
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,658
I'm a very good dancer.
Really?
395
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:23,727
My mom says so. Watch.
396
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,529
♪ I saw the sign ♪
397
00:15:25,562 --> 00:15:27,731
♪ And it opened up my eyes... ♪
398
00:15:27,764 --> 00:15:29,032
I'll get it.
399
00:15:29,065 --> 00:15:31,134
♪ Life is demanding... ♪
400
00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:33,269
Sparks' residence.
Hey, sweetie.
401
00:15:33,302 --> 00:15:34,171
Oh. Hey, Mom.
402
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:35,740
You okay there all by yourself?
403
00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:38,140
I'm not by myself, Missy's here.
404
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,376
W-wait, she's not here.
405
00:15:40,409 --> 00:15:41,678
Put her on.
406
00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:42,846
Okay.
407
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,715
♪ But where do you belong? ♪
408
00:15:45,883 --> 00:15:47,082
Hey, Mrs. Sparks.
409
00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:48,485
What are y'all up to?
410
00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:49,620
Just hanging out.
411
00:15:49,653 --> 00:15:50,822
Cut the crap.
412
00:15:50,855 --> 00:15:51,899
You throwing a party, ain't you?
413
00:15:51,923 --> 00:15:53,758
What? No.
414
00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,759
Relax, I'm all for it.
415
00:15:55,793 --> 00:15:57,528
I want my son to have a life.
416
00:15:57,562 --> 00:15:59,596
Wait, he's invited right?
417
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:01,765
'Course. We're just
making a dance floor.
418
00:16:01,798 --> 00:16:03,900
Oh, God, Missy,
do not let him dance.
419
00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:05,836
♪ Bring me joy? ♪
420
00:16:05,870 --> 00:16:07,705
♪ Under the pale moon. ♪
421
00:16:07,738 --> 00:16:11,006
Lord, I know everyone thinks
I'm being foolish
422
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,576
giving money to Reverend Travis,
423
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:15,712
but why wouldn't you want us
to be prosperous?
424
00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:17,715
You love us, it makes sense.
425
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:21,418
And I got that IRS check,
which feels like a sign.
426
00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:24,187
And I think I know a sign
when I see one.
427
00:16:24,221 --> 00:16:26,557
Ugh. Oh!
428
00:16:28,592 --> 00:16:29,559
Oh!
429
00:16:29,594 --> 00:16:30,927
Ew!
430
00:16:30,961 --> 00:16:32,062
What's going on?
431
00:16:32,095 --> 00:16:34,063
A bird did its business
in my eye.
432
00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:36,198
Better than your mouth, right?
433
00:16:36,232 --> 00:16:37,735
You think you're funny?!
434
00:16:37,768 --> 00:16:39,604
Yeah.
435
00:16:40,236 --> 00:16:41,672
We may have a problem.
436
00:16:41,706 --> 00:16:42,907
Oh, what's wrong?
437
00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:44,082
The program's running
really slow.
438
00:16:44,106 --> 00:16:45,107
We're losing money.
439
00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:46,510
Well, what's happening?
440
00:16:46,543 --> 00:16:47,711
It was fine this morning.
441
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,779
I don't know if this is related,
442
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:51,413
but I did add a new subroutine.
443
00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:53,015
To do what?
444
00:16:53,048 --> 00:16:54,484
To resolve the inconsistencies
445
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:56,620
between general relativity
and quantum mechanics.
446
00:16:56,653 --> 00:16:57,889
Why would you do that?
447
00:16:57,922 --> 00:16:59,456
Because our algorithm's so smart
448
00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,100
and it's the biggest unanswered
question in the universe.
449
00:17:01,124 --> 00:17:02,559
But it's messing
with the computer.
450
00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:03,727
We're losing money.
451
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,630
What about my car?
What about girls?
452
00:17:05,663 --> 00:17:08,230
Rest assured,
you solve general relativity,
453
00:17:08,265 --> 00:17:10,467
the girls will be lined up
around the block to kiss you.
454
00:17:14,471 --> 00:17:17,473
Someone's having a party
and we weren't invited.
455
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,518
Gosh darn it.
456
00:17:31,923 --> 00:17:33,523
Stupid car.
457
00:17:34,490 --> 00:17:35,992
Oh!
458
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,999
Make it stop.
I'm trying, it doesn't want to.
459
00:17:42,032 --> 00:17:43,409
I think it finds the question
too interesting.
460
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:45,101
Ooh, but it's messing
with the computer.
461
00:17:45,134 --> 00:17:47,672
We're losing everything.
I don't know what else to do.
462
00:17:55,412 --> 00:17:57,048
You could have just
unplugged it.
463
00:17:57,079 --> 00:17:59,082
Or at least opened the window.
464
00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:01,483
I showered for nothing.
465
00:18:08,593 --> 00:18:10,528
You know, honey,
nothing much you can do
466
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,095
about a broken toe.
467
00:18:12,127 --> 00:18:14,096
Unless you think
Reverend Travis can fix it.
468
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,833
Maybe I'll stick it
up your butt.
469
00:18:15,865 --> 00:18:17,801
Mary Cooper. Language.
470
00:18:19,134 --> 00:18:20,369
I'm going to bed.
471
00:18:21,638 --> 00:18:22,707
Ah!
472
00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:29,046
I'm in.
473
00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:31,582
My bottom is scorched,
don't look at it.
474
00:18:39,124 --> 00:18:41,292
And as we're passing
the collection plate,
475
00:18:41,326 --> 00:18:43,863
let's give a warm welcome
to the Coopers
476
00:18:43,895 --> 00:18:45,364
who are back in the fold.
477
00:18:45,396 --> 00:18:47,099
Our donation room is looking
478
00:18:47,132 --> 00:18:48,375
a little empty
after the tornado.
479
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,603
So please bring in
your canned goods,
480
00:18:50,636 --> 00:18:51,770
your used clothing...
481
00:18:54,405 --> 00:18:56,843
Is that beer?
Oh, my...
482
00:18:58,911 --> 00:19:00,311
Anyway, welcome back Coopers.
483
00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:03,414
Please turn to page 37
in your hymnals.
32965
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