Original subtitles

There's something I must say,

because it's a part of me,

part of the creation of something I have nothing more to give.

Nonetheless, for me, no one would know about it,

because it wouldn't even exist.

No one would know who Lajos Balatoni really was,

or no one would be interested in where he came from, where he was heading,

who his father or grandfather was.

But maybe this is only because it's the end of something.

If something comes to an end, then its beginning will also be important.

subtitle by XXS

- Morosgovanyi! - Yes, Lieutenant!

What day is it today, Morosgovanyi?

Saturday, Lieutenant.

Second Saturday.

Bathing Saturday, Lieutenant.

What are the duties of an orderly on a bathing Saturday, Morosgovanyi?

I humbly report, he is obliged to set up the trough

that serves as a bath tub, in the kitchen

that is appropriately heated and propped up

at four...six points,

then to fill it up with water that has been boiled

to the correct temperature from the pot outside,

according to demand and person.

And what makes the water boil, Morosgovanyi?

I humbly report, the fire does and this has to be...

laid in the fireplace outside in east- south-

easterly direction...

This is after?

After the wood has been chopped to the correct size.

The correct size is?

Twenty, five, five...

Centimetres.

This is after...?

After the Lieutenant's been accompanied out...

After...?

After the bicycle tires have been pumped...

- After - After the toilets been scrubbed...

- After...? - The muck's been carried out...

- After...? － The straw's been carried in...

The other way around Morosgovany, the other way around.

Yes, the other way around!

This is after...?

- The Lieutenant's buttons have been polished - After...?

The daily field exercise has been completed.

After...?

After the pig has been fed.

Quite right.

And?

What is it that the orderly never does, Morosgovanyi?

I humbly report, under no circumstances does he peep.

Because if he peeps?

His big mouth will be shot offl His harelip! Morosgovanyi.

Yes indeed, Lieutenant!

Hang on...hang on!

Too much, too much, too much!

Hang on! Hang on!

Just a drop more...

Good, good. Too much, too much!

Now, get out!

Don't you have anything better to do? Get out!

And what are you smiling at?

What's true is true.

The poet was right.

For what, I ask, does a man's dick stand erect?

Who knows that?

- Don't you think, Morosgovanyi? - Yes, Lieutenant.

And so I ask you straight, Morosgovanyi...

is there anything better than the cunt of a woman?

Because you can call it what you like...

the cunt is still the common denominator...

lsn't it?

And if it's not,

it's because it's not,

or because it's ugly...

I mean the word...

or unwashed, l mean.

- Or like a pig. - Yes, Lieutenant.

For, l quite agree

that a poet's description of a love chalice

js more beautiful...

Or a dewy lilly.

Or perhaps a pussy...

No doubt about that.

Or in the words of the song. How does it go?

lf you were a rosebud, a rosebud, I would be a bee.

I'd buzz up to you...

But that's just how they say it.

When courting or being polite.

Because all they are really saying is"cunt".

Do you understand?

The cunt, yes!

Because, listen, Vendel...

I've got my own theory

that it's not the world that makes cunt go around,

but it's cunt that makes the world go around...

Erno, lunch is ready!

What are you going on about? Go and find something to do!

Leona! Now! I've had enough!

Not now! You're it!

Leona, come on, run, Leona!

Come on, come on, throw it then!

Girls!

Bedtime!

Girls!

lnto bed, one, two.

Miss!

Sleep well.

Don't worry about your figure,

just grow nice and fat for me.

Sweet dreams!

There is a poor orphan girl...

She doesn't have a mother or father to love her.

She has a friend, loneliness 以

and she washes clothes in the stream

morning and night

Her stepmother shouts at her and beats her

Poor orphah, her life is miserable.

The little girl washes a white dress in the little stream.

HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN: THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL

Don't be afrajd of me.

But you're trembling.

Shall I magic stars for you in the sky?

Yes.

- Woulc you like that? - Yes.

You really want me to?

- Yes. - Millions of tiny stars...

But you have to help me.

Gjve me your hand.

Yes, there.

Here you are! My dear Leona!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

To the final victory!

Cheers! Cheers!

Hey, where are you?

Here, Morosgovanyi. The candle supply.

Morosgovanyi!

But won't you get cold, Mistress, out of bed like this?

That only depends on you, Vendel,

on how skilful you are.

Scratch me, Morosgovanyi,

scratch me!

Keep scratching.

Are you undressing me, silly boy?

lt's winter...

A woman can't afford to catch a chill with her equipment,

you know, Morosgovanyi. A woman needs a lot of warmth, a lot.

Oh, yes. You.

Wait, I'm going to throw my guts up, hey.

I'm going to fuck you, lrma.

Can I say things like that?

Sure I can, damn itl

Fuck my cunt, shove your prick right up.

My little mangalica piggy.

My little mangalica,

my little pig,

my sow,

my piggy!

Tell me, Ferike, Leona,

Vilma. Tell me, lrmuska, you, you, you!

Let's shriek together.

And let's laugh and

let's grunt, because life's too short.

And get it in,

get it in!

As hard as you can!

Morosgovanyi...

Yes, Lieutenant!

Little Kalman, my little son!

And now, at this very moment,

if we can believe the scales, and why shouldn't we?

Our boy Kalman Balatony is moving into second place

behind Hristo Mehmedov

who's in position 2, so he's only behind by a fraction

lvan Duharin, Soviet world champion...

Come on, come on! Q You've got second!

Then Bela Miszlenyi, in a phenomenal fourth place!

The contender from of the 12th Regiment of the Bulgarian Liberation Front

is keeping up with the two Hungarians.

lt's still impossfble io tell what the final result will be.

We know, who the winner will be, 0 but there is an incredible chase

for the second, third and fourth place!

Colonel Ivan Duharin, is now in first place,

followed by Kalman Balatony in the colours of Honved.

Come on Kalman, come on Honvedl Then Hristo Mehmedov,

followed by Bela Miszlenyi. After him...

come on Hungarians!

Come on Balatony!

Come on Miszlenyi!

Come on Hungarians, come on Hungarians!

Will Balatony be able to keep his very shaky second place?

Of course he will 58 seconds to go,

he's putting on an amazing finish.

And so is Miszlenyi.

Miszlenyi is third Balatony is 0. 2 behind Duharin...

Only 0.1! ls he...? No, he isn't.

You like her, don't you?

Leave her alone!

- You kept looking at her. - I'm second all the same.

Because I pushed you.

Ah, Chick!

This competition is more jmportant than that.

This woman is going to be my wife.

Are you crazy? You don't even know her.

What the fuck are you looking at all the time?

You know where you are, Chick? No?

Then Iook oyt there to see where you're standing.

At a turning point. And you still fuck it up?

ls it worth anything to you if you're second? Norway!

- Are you crazy? - l'm second. - But how?

By a thread. Shut your face.

Just stare into your plate and eatl lt's not soup anymore.

You eat some false tooth or ring or something and that's it

- Do I make myself clear? - Yes.

lshould think so.

Now, the lipid. lt's dry, dangerous

and full of shit like gauze and wadding.

Only a little Iubricant, enough for three regurgitations.

Do I make myself clear?

Bela.

Bela, you keep up with Kalman. And keep an eye on the Russianl

lt's good for you, too. The Soviet's first and we're second.

Go, Honved! Go Hungarians!

The Vasilyev move worked and the Garmeyer cross- swallow.

I don't know what his problem is.

The Garmeyer cross- swallow? With bean soup?

You didn't even notice, did you?

And why not? Because the pacemaker was watching the woman too!

I'm telling you, you can be only third,

and only the champion can take the women's champion.

AII right. The champion gets the women's champion!

Welcome to the Spartakiad. We welcome

Comrade Gizella Aczel who competes for the canning factory and

won the Junior World Chjampionship in Cuba in"sausage and beans".

And another international champion in sport eating:

Comrade Bat Bulgana from Mongolia

who took gold in Beijing in"hard- boiled eggs".

To your plates

Get set.

Go!

And the fight has started in the second course.

The two Hungarians are right behind the Spartacus star

The stakes are high in the second round

with horse sausage chosen by the Soviets, who knows?

Go Hungarians!

Tempo! You're first, come on! Let's go! Come on!

And lcan't believe my eyes.

Balatony's scales are showing 23.5,

no, 23. 7 less than Duharin's.

Yes, Balatony is winning! A historic moment!

lt's good to be Hungarian in Kecskemet

A milestone in Hungarian sport eating!

Come on Balatonyl Come on Miszlenyi!

Come on Balatony!

The spoon, the spoon!

They keep on eating but Kalman's stopped.

lt looks like lockjaw! The others just keep on going

as the clock eats up the last few seconds. But Balatoriyl Kalman!

Comrade! What are you doiqg? You can still win. Come on!

Oh, there seems to be a problem lt is lockjaw, lm afraid,

Let me tell you, Cuba is a Socialist paradise.

And there are oranges everywhere.

You don't have to queue, they just drop from the trees.

Hello, hello.

How are you, son, how are you? You're getting your colour back

Hello, you cheatl

Tinned strawberries.

Your favourite.

- Bela Miszlenyi. - Gizella Aczel. Congratulations.

I've heard so much about you, Comrade Aczel

I respect your results. lf you have results, you have everything.

Bela came second, after Duharin.

And this has its own consequences.

I hear, it's Norway.

Norway. They'll put me forward for the European championship.

The most important thing is that you're in one piece.

I can tell you this, as one champion to another.

lsn't that right, Kalman?

I brought some bananas. Good and soft.

Nice.

- Do you want some, Comrade? - No thanks.

Are you not coming, Comrade?

My cars outside, I can give you a lift if you like.

Or you want to chat, Kalman?

AII right, my boy. Don't let yourself go!

So then, good bye, Kalman.

Get well soon.

Bride for sale!

Faster, gentlemen, faster!

Come on, don't be mean!

Smile, Matyi, it's a wedding, not a funeral!

Bride for salel

Faster, Matyi, fasterl

Have you grown roots or what!

Thank you, Juliska!

Laci, my old mate, put the money in here.

Hey, don't take it out, put it in!

Bride for sale!

Let's run away!

Sure.

The bride's running away!

- Bela? - Bela.

That fucking liar!

- Where is he? － Not so fast

lt must be worked for, my boy.

First test: Singing.

No you don't.

Norway.

Come with me.

I want you, Gizi.

I want to spend my life with you.

I love you, Gizi.

lt cannot be the time for farewell,

I only had you, no one else.

I only had you, no one else.

You took my dreams,

I still see your face.

A painful thought is haunting me:

Will you think of me, when the night is over?

AlI our dreams are torn...

We can go to Norway, Gizi!

Gizi! You're mine, Gizi!

I won you, Gizi!

Norway!

And you have never lovec anyone like me.

Will you think of me, when the night is over...

Don't tear all our dreams apart

Lie that it hurts, that it still hurts.

Pista, Jozsi, move!

Pali, dort just sit there! Get to the machinel

Just how are you holding that hose?

Excuse me.

Good afternoon. Comrade Szakacs said...

lt's arranged.

Sit over there.

Meniu: Dessert, semolina pudding.

You get cocoa powder on it.

Sit up!

Spoons up.

You too!

Your spoon?

Marks, get set, go!

Semolina, mushy,

lumpy.

Don't forget to work your elbows. Go for the cross- swallow.

Come on, ten seconds left.

Finished!

Oh, ldon't believe it. I don't believe it.

Kiril Gottman.

Kzystof Dihar.

Jan Beher Kekes.

Bela Miszlenyi

I can't!

This is a totally different wofld.

It needs a different personality.

Listen to this, listen to that! Do it like this, then like that!

Then the Bulgarians and Soviets take everything,

- And Bela Miszlenyi, - I don't give a shit about him!

They gave him everything.

"Mister Miszlenyi, please".

Throat expansion.

Where are we compared to them,

Chjck?

Do you remember, Uncle Jeno?

With the Inota chocolate bar,

at the fluid stage, to be precise,

it was neither shaped nor cut. Still hot.

I was in the sixth grade, I think.

The man in the factory told us we could eat as much as we wanted

but not to put any into our pockets or bags.

There was a girl, lbolya,

I wanted to impress her.

I wanted to show that I was good at something and

there are other things than climbing a rope or singing.

"Can you give me a spoon and soda", l asked.

I just counted to myself.

lt was about 2. 2 kilos for the first round.

That was when I got the first buzz.

This trembling excitement

that my capacity is bigger than me.

The feeling that you are growing bigger and bigger inside,

and deep and unknown chambers open up.

Just a slip of a boy, Uncle Jeno,

and I still had the right feeling.

I wanted to bet him 200 cognac cherries,

they were a rarity then all went for export.

We didn't have them not even at Christmas.

But he said jt was over, and we had to leave.

"You're a fucking liarl" I said to him. He didn't dare hit me.

He called the guard.

And what did I say?

That lshould leave those losers at Kinizsi Meat

And that there'd be money for the tram home

and a small snack after competitions- sandwiches, juice...

l say the same right now.

And no bullshit.

You've got to work like hell! Keep practicing!

When speed eating comes into fashion again,

and the IOC admits it at last,

then we'll show the world

that Kalman Balatony s a

real gem.

Dear Comrade Gizella, welcome to our hospitajl. Our rost modem ward

is named after the wife of the martyr Tibor Szamuely. This is gynaecology.

Our doctors are patient and the examinatibn is painless.

- The staff are all excellent... - That's important.

So, Comrade Gizella...

we transfer you to vegetable wholesale.

You'll need to pee and we'll take some blood, all right?

Congratulations!

You know, dloctor, there is a small problem...

Vegetable wholesale.

Yes, but Gizi competes for the carning factory.

Vegetable wholesale.

- They're second division... - With no calorie allowance.

No way. lntemal order Pregnant women must transfer.

- Cyst or myoma? － Cystl Myoma!

Tibor...

llonka...

Janos...

Or Piroska...

Or Miklos...

Lajos!

Comrade Aczel!

Gizike!

They said I'd find you here.

Comrade Svigadurin would like to invite

our famous sportswoman and her husband to join us onboard.

And the situation is...

well. ...you know...it was sort of announced that...

You should give a short...

demonstration...

45 kg of red caviar,

in 20 minutes

in honour of the 20th anniversary of the liberation.

The first minute is over.

So 45 kilos in 20 minutes, do you understand?

l don't know but my stomach feels very odd.

No wonder after vomiting so much.

But Im sweating like lli Fibinger in Parliament.

Don't be silly, that was something totally different.

Goose liver got stuck in her throat, poor thing

ldon't. know something is defjnitely not right.

Hey are you crying? You? The caming factory champion?

Listen.

What about the time with Fidel Castro and the soup? Hmm?

That great man clapped so hard,

he nearly fell off the podium.

All right, I'll tell the doctor to stop everything.

Health s more important.

But welNose the trjp to Sochi.

Come on pulj yourself together. Wait Hl blow down!

Dear Comrades...

now, more than ever,

yye need helping hands to strengthen

the constructjon of communism...

now, when the most important issues are real friendship

and honest brotherhood,

I thank you for this commemoration.

Are you OK pussycat?

Have a drop of cognac!

lt hasn't happened since I was a junior

That one, on the left, in the top row.

- ls that Jittle Lajos? - Yeah, he's beautiful.

- Abit small though... - lt doesn't matter!

A child is a child.

We'll bring him up, pussycat.

LAJOS BALATONY- TAXIDERMIST

Thirty kilos of margarine and 800 Champion Bars.

And this lolly...

- When do you finish today? - 38,526.

- Are you here tomorrow? - Ten. bread rolls?

Move your arse! What are you doing there?

ls that 15 kilos?

Don't spare any!

Margarine. Sticky, oily vegetable fat.

Come on, start eating.

Hurry up, Greta, what is it then?

Chew faster. Watch out for the cross-swallow.

They should be able to eat the...

15 kilos by now.

This was well worth it

She's really coming on!

AII the hard work is starting to pay off.

At least on those who put some effort in.

But you, I can't even look at you.

- Then don't look. - Sure I won't.

These little things are the apples of my eye.

l'd give anything just to stroke those little hairy bellies!

Oh, you are beautiful.

Youuuuu!

Come on, let them out, just for a minute!

No way.

Later.

I'II open it later You'll see.

lf it snaps,

if notice it snap,

J'II have a wash clean myself

and open the door for Gizike.

You'd have to get up for that.

You'll see.

You watching that shit again?

The losers.

lf only I were there!

- Can you believe it? - Yeah, probably.

Arseholes.

Losers.

Gorging.

Arseholes.

l'd be a whatsit by now.

A, you know...

A world star.

But you won't make a fool out of me!

Who?

- Should I heat the meat up? - Los Angeles?

jajazs ηo"! "u I've never been there. And you're not likely to

But the Romanians went, all the same.

Just look at this!

- Can I help you? - Good afternoon.

l've got something. I was told to come to you.

Wild or domestic?

Not really sure.

domestic, lguess.

Your name?

Regoczy.

Andor Regoczy.

Doctor.

How much is this?

lt's not for sale.

38,526.

Only if you keep the schedule.

No meat until then.

Everything in its own time.

Black pudding

or industrial lard.

Well, if you don't eat Lajoska before then,

though there's not much on him.

My Iittle kittens.

AII right,

grow nice and big.

You're my world sensation.

You could even be on television.

Sure you could.

lf there was somebody

who'd arrange it! Right?

Clever girl, Gizi.

I myself started with fat.

- A long time back. - And that's how it should be.

Come on, kitty,

eat it.

Maybe if you took the wrapper off...

Watch this!

Can you see?

And the silver paper?

lt just slips down.

I can do 400 plain bars an hour

but 570 with the silver paper on.

- And does it come out? - lt gets absorbed.

I've never eaten anything that should get absorbed and didn't.

lt finds a role in the body.

Now, listen.

Check the time.

Ah, lm just wasting my breath

Cyst.

What did you say?

- Dad? － Don't you realise that Im ashamed because of you?

Because of me? And you make me puke!

- I've never done anything but... for youl - Why do you come then?

You don't have to do me a favour!

Carcass stuffer!

Alright then.

Thats enough. l just wonder

how long you'd survive. For how many days?

You'd die of hunger, together with your stinking competition cats.

You'd drown in shit and filth! You can't go to the loo

- by yourself. - lcan manage. You don'thave to do me any favours.

How would you manage? I'm curious! Under yourself?

Get lost, shoo.

You don't realize that there's no one you haven't chased away.

Only me, lm such a fucked up idiot I won't come anymore, for sure.

Who else would pay for pile of food that you and these cats get through?

You son of a bitch!

Mum was right.

She was right when she left.

She didn't want to stay in your huge fat arse

and rot along with you. Because everything rots here.

Everything. But I won't!

Remember that! Loser! Do you understand?

I'll smash your face, you shitl Who do you think you are?

- You loser. - So what? You want to hit me?

Come and hit me then.

lt's never too late

A fatherly slap.

Once in your life. Gome on then,

I'Il let you!

You don't even deserve a slap, you bastard!

You stinking sack of shit!

Don't you bullshit a world star.

Just for comparlson: lgor Vostongonov made if with 3:21...

-In '69... - Still no reason to bullshit me!

You carcass stufferl

You carcass stufferl

You don't know who I am! What I've been through!

I worked hardl I worked hard for success!

Who are you kidding, you little runt?

- l had a vomiting technique named after me! - Drop dead!

Chick!

We've got an infrared cabin,

sauna and turbo solarium in the basement.

The recreation room is next to the fitness room.

We've got back massage, ayurvedic hand and head massage,

Swedish, Thai and sports massage as well as tailor-made...

So you need to repeat this exercise twenty times.

You could do fewer.

Stop for a while and rest if you're tired.

Try not to push it too much at the start

but focus on your muscles and·breathing.

ln, but.

Alright, very good.

Don't do it too hard,

you can slow down a bit.

Focus on your body, feel your muscles

This exercjse is good for your pecs and can do wonders.

You'll notice the difference

when you leave the gym.

Five more to go, and then finished.

Good very good.

Slower,

try to keep the distance between your arms.

Good,

Well done, finished for today,

stop it now.

Stop.

38,526.

1,474 back.

Here you are.

Good bye!

Dad.

lt's me.

l'm back.

Fuck you, Galamb, what are you doing!

Well, Dad. You'll look really good.

Excuse me.

Hey!

Excuse me

When I reached the cellar, like an iron spike,

he was surrounded by all kinds of arms.

He had dissembled himself.

Only the machine kept him in life, and that was what destroyed him.

It then brought him to life again.

I saw the mechanism spring into action.

The arm holding his heart

from the weight of the pulsating flesh turned outwards,

reached the tilting lock,

which in turn releases the blade drawn back so far.

That was the moment his head came apart from his body.

And a moment later,

his right arm, working only a minute ago from the shoulder.

Of course, there are always faults.

In the present case, too.

The head and his arm.

He's a torso.

Archaic.

If there's anything, anything missing,

is that there are things

that just cannot be mounted.

You can mount your father, or so to speak, your whole family,

but somehow what you feel when the blade gets nearer his head,

what you feel then just cannot be mounted.

This is what...

This is a part of who Lajos Balatoni really is.

This is the essence, I think.

Of course, different things are important for different people.

For some, it is space.

And for others, time.