All language subtitles for Abbott.Elementary.S03E07.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL

- Hello.
- Hello.

Check you out. That's
the energy of a woman

who just found out she's
pregnant or not pregnant.

No, I'm relieved.

When you're over 50,
relief looks like joy.

I put that spare
bedroom up for rent.

Think I already found a tenant.

I just wish you didn't
have to do this.

Ah, you do what you got to do.
I could use the extra money

since I'm paying full price
at the vending machine again.

Plus, I made that terrible
financial decision

all those years ago.

Getting divorced?
Betting on the Sixers?

I became a teacher. Ahh.

Girl, at least try a
passive-income side hustle

before a roommate.

I got a chat bot
writing eulogies

for nine people as we speak.

Barbara: I just don't
feel good about you

giving out your address
to strangers online.

It's not safe.

What if they kill you?

I'm gonna be fine. Okay?

I used a fake name
and a phony address,

and my listing just said "cozy
guest suite with a view,"

which is Craigslist
speak for "it's cramped."

And I e-mailed with this
very nice nerd named Lester

with great credit and
even better grammar.

I got a good feeling about this.

Guys, guys, I think my search

for a new place to live is over.

After some not so ideal meet ups

where I learned to
stop using my real name

or list "great hugger" in
the About Me section...

I told you... I have found

the perfect cozy guest
suite with a view.

Lester?

Mildred?

Barbara: You and Jacob
living together is...

I know it's God's will,

but he's gotten
awfully creative.

Okay. You wanted me to pick
the hairless cat breeder

who doesn't believe
in deodorant?

Wait, is it the
woman that's hairless

or the cats are hairless?

Hey. Hey.

Maybe you could
just keep looking.

Everywhere else is
either twice my budget

or a 3-hour commute.

I mean, three hours
isn't forever.

Hear ye, hear ye.

Um, so I've gathered you
all here today to tell you

about a very special
pilot program

I think you're gonna
be excited about.

I already did a pilot
program in the '70s,

but I can't tell
you where I flew

or what was on the plane.

Okay, well, this
is a pilot program

to bring librarians
into schools,

and we're starting with Abbott.

I got the idea to bring
in local grad students

in library sciences.

They get to check off their
experience requirements,

and we get a real
librarian. Everybody wins.

Especially me, which
this isn't about.

Abbott's the perfect
school for this trial,

with its many
distinguished teachers

and its zero librarians.

Yes.

So I'd like to introduce
you all to the very cool.

Ms. Rosalyn Inez,
your new librarian.

Thank you, thank
you. This has...

This has been a dream
of mine for years.

It's actually why I
went back to school.

Just excited to put
this program to work.

Another grown
woman of substance.

Mm-hmm.

And the kids are
gonna love that hat.

You could hide an Easter
ham under that hat.

I'm just looking forward
to getting to know

each and every one of you.

We'll be using the feedback
that we get from you all

to determine if the district

should implement the
program all over the city.

Which they will. So yay!

Alright, so before
Ms. Inez digs in,

does anyone have any questions?

Yeah. Did you know that Jacob
is moving in with Melissa?

That's crazy. Right?

Oh, sorry. That's two
questions. My bad.

Oh, you need help?

Uh, no. Thank you.

This is... This is
the last of them.

I know.

So that looks heavy, huh?

Brutally.

Listen, I made puttanesca,

but I only know
how to cook for 12,

so if you want some,
I'll make you a plate.

But let me know in
the next five minutes,

because my show's coming on.

Oh, um..."Real
Housewives of New Jersey"

is also on in five,

and I-I simply
must watch it live.

Okay, that's my show.

No. Yes.

Stop. I will not.

It's... It's a masterpiece.

I have got to know who
called the feds on Teresa.

The hubris alone.

And what's up with Marge?

Always changing up her story.

Because she is sneaky.

As hell.

Before you know it,
you're in a relationship

with someone who is
just like your parents.

Gary was a dead-ringer
for my dad.

And Zach was basically my mom.

Are you freaking kidding me?

I love sour cream and onion.

It's so salty and playful.

Both: Like Marge Sr.

Okay, you already relabeled
the social sciences?

I thought you would
use the abridged DDC,

but this classification
is just so thorough.

Janine, have you seen
this yet? Yes, yes.

I actually have my very
first library card.

Wo...

I got the librarian from
my local branch to sign it.

Oh, wow.

You are very passionate
about libraries.

I just love how
organized everything is.

Last week, it took me two hours

to find a book on
time management.

Rosalyn: Well,
things are gonna be

much easier for you to find now.

Excuse me for a second. Mm-hmm.

Oh, hey, I could just
check those out for you.

Oh, no need, I'm just
grabbing some books

for my children's reading hour,

and I'm on my way.

Well, let me make
it easy for you.

It is why I'm here.

You come to me, I
check out the books,

you return the books, I put...

I'm familiar with how
libraries work. Thank you.

Of course. Mm.

Ooh.

Looks like this one's
already been reserved,

but I can put your
name in to get it next.

Okay, sure. I'll
just take those.

And you're sure that
"Penny Goes to Potty"

has been reserved?

Because, I mean, each
time I come in here

and take it out seamlessly,
my students love it.

Ooh, and, uh, this one
is a reference book.

That stays in the library.

Aw, Barbara has wanted
this for so long.

Look how happy she is.

And don't forget these. Oh.

We're really trying to stick

to a checkout limit
of three books.

Fine.

Our new librarian
is very organized.

Yeah. I don't like
it. I'll handle it.

You think you're the
queen of the school?

Uh...

"Slaughterhouse-Five"?

I started reading
this last month,

but it disappeared

before I could get to the
part about slaughterhouses.

Well, I checked the
previous system,

which was just a sign-out
sheet on a napkin,

and asked the student
to bring it back,

which they did.

You're like a bounty
hunter for books.

What is that boy wearing?

Ooh, I got a good one.

Hey, Jacob, where'd you
get that shirt from?

Yeah, it looks good on
him, right? See? Told ya.

Can you believe I was nervous
to wear it to school today

until Melissa pumped
me up at breakfast?

Hey, Mr. Johnson, where'd
you get those shoes?

Crappos?

Now is the time
for us to explore

and find something that
piques our imaginations.

Oh, and don't forget
there's a 3-book limit.

Uh, hey, Mrs. Howard. Hello.

Uh, did you get the
e-mail with the link

to schedule a time
to use the library?

Oh, I've been doing
this a long time.

Um, the seventh-grade
class has scheduled time

to work on a research project,

and having multiple
classes in here

is just distracting, I'm afraid.

I'm sorry.

Are you asking my students,

my scholars of
words and letters,

to leave the library?

I would be happy to help you
schedule a time for your class

to have full use of the library,

and please feel no
shame in letting me know

if you need my help
using the Google Doc.

Oh, I know what a
Google doctor is.

Uh...

So the librarian program
is going well, right?

It's great.

Ms. Inez has been
setting aside books

that align with my
class's curriculum.

I mean, I've never seen the
kids so excited about reading.

I knew this was a good idea.

It's like a librarian
for the library.

Duh. You know? Exactly.

Oh, hey, Barbara, how
great is the library now?

A captain for the ship.

Oh, it's just great, Janine,

as you can see by these tiny
little disappointed faces

that were not allowed to check
books out of the library.

Um... Oh, my God,
I'm... I'm so sorry.

Uh, why weren't they
allowed to check out books?

Because the library
is booked out

like some new hip
restaurant with a hostess

that has no respect
for the patrons

that came before they
started charging $25

to set your drink on fire.

Now, I think it's obvious
that there needs to be

some changes to this
library program.

Oh, I would hate to
leave bad feedback.

Hey, Barbara. I just
wanted to check in

because you seemed
a little upset.

Perturbed.

Well, if there's anything
I can do to improve

the librarian program,
I would love to know.

It is adding a level
of difficulty that,

if anything, is stifling

my students' interest in books.

Okay. Um...

Alright. That is
feedback I can work with.

Your word holds a ton
of weight with me.

Thank you, Janine.

No. Thank you. You know,

I'm gonna make this work
for the woman who molded me.

I was a lump of clay
on one of those, um

the things that the clay...
that the clay spins on

the clay-spinning...
The pottery wheel.

A pottery wheel.
See? Still molding.

I'm going to get back
to work and figure out

how to make it better
for the littles.

Howdy, cowboy.

Oh! That is so satisfying.

Oh, my gosh, there's
just something about

building a tiny scene.

I want to live in
this Parisian café.

Hey, you want me to pack
up the rest of the ziti

for you to take
for lunch tomorrow?

Uh, I think I should
pick up lunch tomorrow.

Jacob, if you don't like
my ziti, just say so,

and I will heave
myself out that window.

No, no, it's just that... Did
you see what happened today

with Mr. Johnson when he cried?

I think our friendship is
throwing off the dynamics.

Today I ate out of a Tupperware
that had your name on it.

And Mr. Johnson thought
I was stealing your food,

so he decided it
was a free-for-all

and ate Barbara's lunch.

And then Barbara was so cranky

that she drank the
last cup of coffee

without making a new pot,
and Gregory was then so tired

that he left the hose
on in the garden.

And then that's why
the kids tracked

all the mud into my classroom.

And I went to find Mr. Johnson.

But he was still crying, so
I had to clean it up myself.

See? It's... It's... It's chaos.

I think we should just
pretend like nothing

has changed between
us. Oh, yeah.

We gotta keep our
friendship a secret

because I cannot be
mopping every day.

Yeah, exactly.

It's a sacrifice for
the greater good.

It also protects what we have.

And now what we have

book nook number two.

Or could be my panty liners,

but, hey, let's
find out together.

And it is

la Notre-Dame de Paris.

Merci, Amazon Prime.

"The wolf hadn't eaten all day."

Janine: Barbara's
feedback is a gift.

I mean, without it,

I wouldn't have known
to update the program.

Her wisdom gave me the idea
to cater part of the program

specifically to getting
pre-readers excited about books.

"So I'll huff and I'll puff.

And I'll bl-l-l-l-ow
your house down."

What do you think?
It's pretty cool, huh?

I think she's getting them
a little bit too excited.

Nap time is in an hour.

The kindergarten day
is a delicate balance

that can be easily upset.

"He couldn't puff anymore."

Now it's your turn.

Children: And I'll
huff and I'll puff

and I'll blow your house down!

Oh, no, it's too
much! It's too much!

I'll say.

Mrs. Howard, I blew
down the house.

Mrs. Howard, how come
you don't read this good?

I can do voices.

I am very adept at
many amusing sounds.

Watch.

I am a pig.

I am a wolf.

And I am a librarian who thinks

that I can just change
everything around here.

Shh.

Ah, I think, uh...

I think I'll sit over here.

Well, in that case, I will
sit over here away from there.

Yeah. Guess that's just how
it is between her and I.

Hey, anybody seen
the pencil grips?

Hello?

Cool. Cool, cool.

I don't know what's
going on with these two,

but I don't like it.

"Roommates be
like..." heart emojis.

You texting Jacob?

What? No. Mind
your own business.

It's not what you think.

You're sharing memes.

I share memes with
a lot of people.

Yeah, that's common
practice between co-workers.

Two people texting each
other LOLs in the same room.

You two are friends.
Please don't tell anyone.

We're not ready
for people to know.

Alright, but this is a
dangerous game you're playing.

Alright, students,
it's story time.

Can we go to the library?

No, sweetheart, it's
not our scheduled time.

Children: Aww.

We like when Ms.
Inez does the voices.

Oh.

Isn't this amazing?
Look at this.

Not only has it increased
use of the library,

I mean, it's made everything
way more targeted.

And look.

Mr. Johnson donated
his old baseball cards

so the kids could use
them as bookmarks.

Wait, is this Mr. Johnson?

Did he play in
the Negro Leagues?

Watch your mouth.

186 pages of pure fire.

I was flipping so
fast, I had to buy one

of those little finger condoms

off the cashier at
the corner store.

Oh, Mrs. Howard
and class... again.

Hi, kids.

Uh, Mrs. Howard, I don't
have you all on the schedule,

but I have a
feeling it's because

you didn't fill out the
online reservation form.

I most certainly did not.

Yet here we are in the library

without a major disaster.

It's almost as if it
didn't matter at all.

You know what? I can handle it.

Yeah, yeah. I'll
talk to her. Yeah.

♪ Mrs. Howard ♪

Um, can I ask why you
didn't fill out the form?

Janine, this is a
slow waltz to nowhere.

There are a million
different improvements

that this school could use.

Why not focus on one of
those that could really help?

Because, sweetheart,
this ain't it.

Is everything okay?

Everything is fine, Manny.

I appreciate what you all do.

This program is more
of a distraction

than an improvement.

Come along, students, let's go.

Hmm.

Bye.

You know what? She
just needs time.

Barbara will come around.
We should just move forward.

Well, if that's how she feels,

there is no moving forward.

What? Janine, we have to care

about what teachers say.

Especially ones with as
much seniority as Barbara.

That was our mission statement
when we came to the district.

We listened to teachers.
We don't ignore them.

That's what makes us different.

Yes, I know, but this works.

I mean, doesn't it? Look.

If Barbara says it doesn't
work, then that's gonna go

a long way with
Superintendent Reynolds.

And he's always looking
for a reason to say no.

You okay? Look like
Raven having a vision.

I'm shutting down the program.

It isn't working for everyone.

Okay. Um

who's everyone?

Well, it hasn't been successful

with the early primary grades.

Me and Melissa's
classes love it.

Barbara said it was a failure.

That's because she can't just
do whatever she wants anymore.

She's throwing a tantrum.

Okay, but it's Barbara.

Doesn't mean she's always right.

Jacob did say all
of his students

turned in their reports on time

and scored in the 80th
to 90th percentile.

That's because the
program is good.

Having a librarian
in a library is good.

Barbara is saying it's bad.

She is wrong. Huh.

She's just taking advantage
of your relationship.

She wouldn't do that.

I don't think she's
doing it intentionally.

But you may have to step outside

of how Barbara is
making Janine feel here

and just look at
the big picture.

Big picture is it
works... Mm-hmm.

But it doesn't matter
because Barbara's feedback

is just gonna tank the thing.

And I can't even confront her

because she might not
talk to me ever again.

Well, maybe that's a risk

you're just gonna have to take.

Just books, good,

librarians and librarians...

I got it, I get...
Okay, alright.

What you're saying.

Isn't that terrible?
Says to the first muffin,

"Holy smokes, a talking muffin."

Oh, she was laughing
at something else.

She... She heard a really
funny joke earlier,

and my joke wasn't even funny.

It was... It was
offensive. Shame on me.

Oh, hell yeah. Coupon for
two-for-one at Rita's.

We should go after school, Ja...

Ohnson. Uh, what do you think?

Oh, I'd love to.

It's been a rough week.
I can use the pick-me-up.

Okay. Hang on. You know what?

I'm sick of pretending to
be somebody that I'm not.

I meant to invite Jacob
because we're friends,

so you can just deal with
it. Because I like this man.

And I like this woman,
I do. I like you.

We like each other.

Oh, man, I feel so free

and so, like, relieved.

Yeah. So after school today,

I'm gonna go get some
passion fruit water ice

with Jacob.

Why do you get your hopes up

when it always
ends in heartbreak?

Alright, go ahead. Get it out.

Get what out?

Glad your roommate
situation is working out.

The only white-on-white
friendship I'm invested in

is Ben and Jerry's.

Huh.

I guess the Abbott ecosystem
is stronger than we thought.

Your office hour isn't
scheduled until next week.

Also, it's for current teachers.

Yeah, that's not
why I'm here. Hmm.

Um, you said the librarian
program isn't working.

That's right.

And to be clear, what exactly
isn't working about it?

It favors the older students

and is ineffective with
the primary classes.

Janine, it upsets the
rhythm of my classroom.

Sure, but it's working
because it's working

for Gregory's class,

and it's working for
Melissa's class, too.

And your kids seem to love it,

so it just isn't
working for you.

And I accept that, but

this program isn't about you.

This is terrifying and will
haunt my dreams and nightmares

for the next seven years,
but... you're wrong

and I am moving forward
with the program,

so leave whatever feedback
you need to leave.

That I will do.

I value Barbara's opinion
so much that I forgot

that hers isn't the only
opinion that matters.

Couldn't see the forest
for the trees, as they say,

which I never fully
understood that expression,

because if I'm in the forest,
then all I'm seeing are trees.

All the reviews for the
program have been great.

Uh-huh.

But I see that you haven't
opened Barbara's review yet.

Subject line,

"Unvarnished thoughts on a
rather ambitious program."

Oh, woof. Okay.

You want me to just read it?

You gotta get it out of the way.

You know what?

I'm gonna fight for this
program no matter what.

So, sure.

Just let me look away.

Yeah, you're gonna have
to read this one yourself.

Okay.

"I wish I could say
that this program

has been a positive addition
to Abbott Elementary."

"But that would
be... insufficient

because this program will,

if supported with the care
it has been initiated with,

have a positive impact
on countless students

"far beyond the walls
of this school."

Keep reading.

"No one would accept
the hare's challenge.

And then a lone voice rose up.

'I'll race you!'
said the tortoise."

Mrs. Howard, would
you join us, please?

Yay!

Is this necessary?

Whoa, Ms. Inez with
the olive branch.

Yeah. Hopefully Barbara
don't hit her with it.

"'You?' said the
hare snickering.

Heh, heh. Now,
that's a fine joke.

I will..."

Why did she choose to make
all the characters Jamaican?

Just let her cook, Gregory.

"'...line! Shall we race?'"

Captions by VITAC...