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1
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,423
Jim, I have
brought your children
2
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:08,758
back home safe and sound.
3
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,885
Excellent.
I hope everybody's hungry.
4
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,679
I have a homemade lasagna,
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,597
straight from the Stop & Shop
freezer section.
6
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,808
Dad, I know
I've been away all day,
7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,184
but can I go to Cody's?
8
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,561
There's a "Fortnite" tourney.
9
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,856
Plus, Cody's mom makes food
that was never frozen.
10
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,399
Sure. Have fun.
11
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,776
Dad, I know that you went
through a lot of trouble
12
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:30,321
to make the money
that bought that lasagna,
13
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,491
but Katie invited me
for a sleepover.
14
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,202
It was great spending
a quality 35 seconds
15
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,954
with both of you today.
16
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:39,372
Dad, I hope you're hungry.
17
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,541
Thanks, Jim, but I got
a date with Rose tonight.
18
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,418
We're gonna Netflix and chill.
19
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,464
You know that means have sex?
20
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,506
I do.
21
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,426
I was trying to be discreet.
22
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,637
Well, there's no need
for this to go to waste.
23
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,139
If you wanna take some
to Rose, you can.
24
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,223
Yes!
25
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,851
Rose can't call me cheap
anymore.
26
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,770
Can you spare a bottle of wine?
27
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,729
Sure. Take one of those.
28
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,897
Thanks.
29
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,399
I should probably grab one
for Rose too.
30
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,320
Always thinking of others.
31
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,114
So, uh, you and Rose
are getting serious?
32
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:17,744
As of last night, we've
made love six and a half times.
33
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:22,874
That really amazes me
to hear a fraction.
34
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,585
Too bad you don't have a date
lined up for tonight, Jim.
35
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,462
You know,
it's never been easier.
36
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,798
I'm on seven different
dating apps now.
37
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,799
Does Rose know that?
38
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,218
She's on nine.
39
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,388
At our age, you gotta have
a deep bench.
40
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,390
Well, those dating apps.
41
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,642
I-I like meeting women
out in the wild.
42
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,936
You know, everybody on dating
apps is looking for a date.
43
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,063
I wanna meet someone
who's not looking for a date,
44
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,190
but who finds one anyway.
45
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,528
I'm not just saying this
because I'm your father.
46
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,656
Somebody out there would
be lucky to settle for you.
47
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,993
Kids, let's go!
48
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,496
Enjoy your sleepovers, everyone.
49
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,706
Oh.
[chuckles]
50
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,457
You know I will.
51
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,668
Tonight, we're gonna try
to go from six and a half
52
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,086
to seven.
53
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,504
You wanna know how?
54
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:14,259
I desperately,
desperately do not.
55
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,928
{\an8}- * It's true ♪
56
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:21,057
{\an8}♪ The marriage that we once
had now is through ♪
57
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:25,061
{\an8}♪ And now we're doing
all that we can do ♪
58
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:29,691
{\an8}♪ To keep us all together
as a crew ♪
59
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:33,486
{\an8}♪ Just do as we say,
not as we do ♪
60
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:37,490
♪ We really thought
that we were done ♪
61
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,868
♪ But we've just begun ♪
62
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,172
{\an8}Chilly in here, huh?
63
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,673
{\an8}Oh, I know.
64
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,051
{\an8}I just saw a family of four
hugging a rotisserie chicken
65
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,677
{\an8}to stay warm.
66
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:01,306
{\an8}[laughing]
67
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,185
{\an8}I like those prAna pants.
68
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,728
{\an8}Do you do yoga?
69
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,773
{\an8}I do not do yoga.
70
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,692
{\an8}And I had no idea
they were yoga pants.
71
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,527
{\an8}I got them from Julia,
and I wear them
72
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,697
{\an8}because they are
deliciously buttery soft.
73
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,032
{\an8}Look, I don't want to lie
to this woman,
74
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,700
{\an8}but on the other hand,
I feel like, you know,
75
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,452
{\an8}I might have a little nibble
on the line here,
76
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,287
{\an8}and I don't wanna
scare off the fish--
77
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,748
{\an8}which I realize is
an outdated metaphor,
78
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,625
{\an8}reducing a human being
to something
79
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,379
{\an8}that can be, essentially,
hunted with a worm.
80
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,798
{\an8}But since I've already used it,
81
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,049
{\an8}I got a live one.
82
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,885
{\an8}Uh...
[chuckles]
83
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,388
{\an8}Do I do yoga?
84
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,139
{\an8}Seems like everyone's
doing yoga now.
85
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,308
{\an8}Not a lie.
I repeated a question
86
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,768
{\an8}and stated a fact.
87
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,854
{\an8}It's nice to run into a yogi
88
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:53,650
{\an8}in the barren wasteland
of frozen food.
89
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,569
{\an8}I keep telling myself
I should remain in produce,
90
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,907
{\an8}but oh, these chicken pot pies.
91
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,826
{\an8}Oh, you have--cheers.
92
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,036
{\an8}[both laugh]
93
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,455
You ever go to
the Blissful Elephant studio?
94
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,958
No, but, uh,
I've definitely heard about it.
95
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,376
Also not a lie.
96
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,586
She just said it,
and I just heard it.
97
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,046
Where do you practice?
98
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,798
Giggling Goat.
Yoga Hut.
99
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,883
I know--
you're a Dancing Shiva dude.
100
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:22,095
[laughs]
That--that is a great guess.
101
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,764
I assume.
102
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,766
What's your favorite class
over there?
103
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,644
Ah, I really can't say.
[chuckles]
104
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,604
And I really couldn't say
105
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,607
because I had no idea
what I was talking about.
106
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,317
Who's your favorite teacher?
107
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,527
Mm, names.
108
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,654
Oh, God, I'm so bad with names.
109
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,072
Um...
110
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:45,035
names are--are just clothing
for the soul.
111
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:50,331
That's deep.
You sound like a true yogi.
112
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,666
Thank you.
113
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,795
Uh, my Western name is Jim.
114
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:59,966
But my soul will answer
to anything
115
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,968
delivered with kindness.
116
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,345
Oh.
117
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,140
Kristen.
118
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,516
Oh.
119
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,893
It was nice to--
120
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,812
If you ever wanna try
Blissful Elephant,
121
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,522
I'm there Sundays at 9:00 a.m.
122
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,484
Oh, all right.
9:00 a.m. Sunday.
123
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,278
You know, I'm--
I'll start stretching now.
124
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,613
Great. I-I--
125
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,365
I don't wanna sound
too woo-woo,
126
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,492
but this class
has really changed
127
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,285
my conversation with the world.
128
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,995
You know,
that is not woo-woo.
129
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,580
That's--that's wahoo.
130
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,667
You know, me and the world,
we can talk all night.
131
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,919
You know, yap, yap, yap.
No, you go, world.
132
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,421
No, you go, Jim.
[high-pitched laugh]
133
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,382
You're hysterical, Jim.
No you, world!
134
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,217
Ha ha!
135
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:45,470
I-I really hope I see you
at the Elephant on Sunday.
136
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,347
Maybe I'll bring
my friend, the world.
137
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,723
Okay.
138
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,102
Kearney got a bite.
139
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:56,856
[grunting]
140
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,153
Should I call 911?
141
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,031
Yeah, and tell them
you entered without knocking.
142
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,075
Sorry, I left my license
on the dresser.
143
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,785
Are you doing yoga?
144
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078
I am.
145
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,871
Turns out I have a gift
for the stretchy art.
146
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,832
- What's her name?
- Kristen.
147
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,583
We were flirting at NutriNook.
148
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,711
So I'm gonna meet her
for yoga on Sunday
149
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,005
at the Blissful Elephant
at 9:00 a.m.
150
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,172
Unreal.
151
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,383
For years, I tried
to get you to do yoga,
152
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,843
and you chose
watching baseball,
153
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,429
golf, and napping every time.
154
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,473
The couch is
an ever-beckoning mistress.
155
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,309
And the TV is
her trampy best friend.
156
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,770
And I don't recall you ever
asking me to do yoga.
157
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,022
Oh.
158
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,189
I have proof.
159
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,567
Proof?
Were you wearing a wire?
160
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,195
Ha!
161
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,780
Remember this book?
162
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,491
"Hold Me Close: A Marital Guide
to Reignite Passion"?
163
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,702
Definitely not.
164
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,705
The book encouraged us
to make a list of some things
165
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,831
you wish your spouse
would do to restore
166
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,374
the bonds of your marriage.
167
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,043
Wait, you actually did that?
168
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,169
Yes!
169
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,462
[scoffs]
170
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,546
Uh...
171
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,048
okay, here it is.
172
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:06,009
Number 26:
"I wish Jim did yoga with me."
173
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:11,723
So you're saying that
if I had done yoga back then,
174
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,099
I'd be prepared for this date?
175
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,561
Kristen's gonna know that
176
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,771
I've never done yoga before,
isn't she?
177
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,397
I'm sure she's not
expecting you
178
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,732
to be some great yogi.
179
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,400
Well, she may have
gotten the impression
180
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,485
that I was a yogi.
181
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,903
How?
182
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,739
From me giving her
the impression I was a yogi.
183
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,283
I got excited 'cause it seemed
like she was liking me,
184
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,911
and I just wanted things
to keep going in the direction
185
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,330
of her liking me because
that's not a bad direction
186
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,581
for my life to head in.
187
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,084
I mean, one day the kids
will leave the nest,
188
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:42,253
and you and Trey will be off
on some superyacht somewhere,
189
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,923
and Dad and Rose will be
in an assisted living facility,
190
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,926
fractioning one another's
brains out.
191
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,553
And I just wanna meet somebody
before my sex life
192
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,139
starts measuring in halves.
193
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,266
Jim, you are gonna
meet someone.
194
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,893
You are wildly likeable.
195
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,603
Yeah, except when
I'm doing yoga.
196
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,147
You are naturally flexible.
It's true.
197
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,774
- I know, right?
- Mm-hmm.
198
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,777
But I--I just don't know
how to yoga.
199
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,988
I mean, she's gonna know
that I'm a fraud, unless--
200
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,490
What?
201
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,618
Well, remember
how you used to want me
202
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,911
to do yoga with you?
203
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,455
I mean, like,
so much that you wrote down
204
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,749
a wish list with it?
205
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:25,130
Well, Julia, I'm gonna make
wish number 26 come true.
206
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,881
You want me to come
to yoga with you
207
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:27,966
and be your yoga whisperer?
208
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,593
Oh, my God,
what a great idea!
209
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,804
[bright rock music]
210
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,764
And Jim was like,
I don't remember
211
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,474
you asking me to do yoga.
212
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,809
So I showed him proof.
213
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,686
Proof?
214
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,147
What, were you wearing a wire?
215
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,690
No, "Hold Me Close."
216
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,442
With pleasure.
217
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,028
[laughing]
218
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,779
No.
219
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,740
That's the name of the book
that I got Jim and I
220
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,658
for us to save our marriage.
221
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,869
Did you try to get a refund?
222
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,748
Look here.
My wish list,
223
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,709
number 26, which is
"would do yoga with me."
224
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,837
So Sunday, I'm gonna be
his yoga whisperer,
225
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,089
9:00 a.m.
at the Blissful Elephant.
226
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,800
Jim gets list.
Jim never reads list.
227
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,845
Bad for him, good for me.
228
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,805
Unnecessary for us.
229
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,974
Okay--she's jumping! Oh, God!
230
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,351
[laughs]
231
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,603
♪ ♪
232
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,688
I realize that
this wish list was written
233
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:28,276
for Jim and not for me,
but, uh...
234
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,153
this is a cheat code.
235
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,406
♪ ♪
236
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,910
Mr. Kearney, here's
your ten-class Bliss Passport.
237
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,745
We'll stamp it
for each blissful journey
238
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,121
you take with us.
239
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,539
Well, I look forward
to increasing
240
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,707
my stretching abilities.
241
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,543
[soft ethereal music playing]
242
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,296
[exhales deeply]
Ananda.
243
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,590
[claps]
Jim.
244
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,637
Have a blissful journey.
245
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,180
Thank you, Ananda.
246
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,558
Ooh.
247
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,561
Yoga world's a little
more balmy than I thought.
248
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,563
And Kristen's not here.
249
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,024
Let's stay
at the back of the class.
250
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,318
25 bucks a class,
turn up the AC.
251
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,904
Am I right?
[chuckles]
252
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,698
Right here is good
because no matter where
253
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,741
Kristen puts her mat, she won't
be able to see you back here.
254
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,118
Oh, yeah.
255
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,954
And that way, I can get
a good look at her--
256
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,497
actually, why am I not
saying it?
257
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,124
You and I are not
married anymore.
258
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,917
Her butt.
259
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,878
I want a clean,
unobstructed view of her butt.
260
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,215
Dear God, is it hot.
261
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,925
Maybe because I'm here.
262
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,511
What are you doing here?
263
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,054
Number 18:
264
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,099
"I sometimes wish affection
was expressed poetically."
265
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,102
Baby, I love you so much
that when I'm away from you,
266
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,396
there's an ache in my heart
that can only be soothed
267
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,982
by the radiance of your face.
268
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,776
Are you day drinking?
269
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:56,406
Yeah, and I'm day drunk
off a case of Julia.
270
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,992
Watch the hangover on that.
271
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,579
- Mwah.
- Go right there.
272
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,289
I wanna get a clean,
unobstructed view
273
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,707
of your butt.
274
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,170
Good morning,
beautiful souls.
275
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,921
That's her.
276
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,882
- The teacher?
- Yeah.
277
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,258
[scoffs]
Dude.
278
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,468
Don't "dude" me.
279
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,053
She--when she told me
this was her class,
280
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,055
she meant it was her class.
281
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,973
Oh, my--she's gonna know
I'm a fraud.
282
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,224
Welcome to hot yoga.
283
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:27,145
Huh!
So that's why it's so hot!
284
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,980
Jim, you didn't mention
it was hot yoga.
285
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,148
This stuff is intense.
286
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,691
Well, I'm gonna
make a break for it.
287
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,444
Jim!
288
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,653
I'm glad you could make it.
289
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,822
Kristen. Uh, yes.
290
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,240
Yes, I'm just, uh--
291
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,910
I'm just closing this door
to, uh,
292
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:46,498
trap in the blissfully
debilitating heat.
293
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:53,546
[gong reverberates]
294
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,174
Sat nam.
295
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,968
all: Sat nam.
- [strained] Sat nam.
296
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,347
Today we'll practice
the Surya Namaskar sequence
297
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,100
used for centuries in India
to train young warriors.
298
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,227
Oh.
299
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,812
Oh! Hello.
300
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,982
For those of you who are new,
301
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,026
we heat the room
to 105 degrees,
302
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,569
which would have been
a nice, breezy day
303
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,737
for young Indian warriors.
304
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,739
[laughter]
305
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,324
Why is that funny?
306
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,201
Yoga humor.
307
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,578
Are you ready?
308
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,080
all: Ha!
309
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,248
[feebly] Ha!
310
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,127
Inhale, arms up.
311
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,837
Exhale, fold.
312
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,755
Inhale, halfway lift...
313
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,675
[upbeat techno music]
314
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:45,765
♪ ♪
315
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,267
Exhale, adho mukha svanasana.
316
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,394
And jumping back up
to standing.
317
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,272
And again, we--
did I hear someone say,
318
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,274
"Kristen, brr,
I'm chilly-chill-chill"?
319
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,360
Okay then,
let's turn up the heat.
320
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,946
And again,
going through the sequence.
321
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,615
Smooth breath.
Engage your core.
322
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,034
Wow.
323
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,869
Looks like we have
a warrior in our midst.
324
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,454
Yes, you do.
325
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,955
Number 22:
326
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,791
"I wish my husband
would show enthusiasm
327
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,251
for new challenges."
328
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:16,129
This is such a challenge.
329
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,839
I'm so enthused.
330
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:22,177
Okay, let's work
on some specifics of our form.
331
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,762
Could someone help me
demonstrate?
332
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,013
Number seven:
333
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,848
"I wish my husband
would volunteer more."
334
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,933
I volunteer.
335
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,352
Oh, our warrior.
336
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,353
Come on up.
337
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,565
Come on into plank for me.
338
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,900
Oh.
339
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,403
- Gorgeous.
- Gorgeous?
340
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,781
See how everything
is on the same plane?
341
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,116
Straight as a warrior's sword.
342
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,660
Why is she talking
about his sword?
343
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,121
She likes 'em straight.
344
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:54,334
Now, when my warrior lowers
into chaturanga dandasana,
345
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,296
all his body will
kiss the earth simultaneously.
346
00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,714
Fantastic.
347
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,216
{\an8}When is the first
water break?
348
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:05,095
Let's give our special
warrior a round of applause.
349
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:08,014
[applause]
350
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,350
What?
This is too slow for you all?
351
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,851
You wanna double-time it?
352
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,687
No.
No--nobody said double-time.
353
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,813
Nobody said anything.
354
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,481
Who is talking to her?
355
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,235
Okay, if you insist,
here we go.
356
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,529
all: Ha!
357
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,905
[feebly] Ha!
358
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,033
If anything
is too challenging,
359
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,369
child's pose is always
a great option.
360
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,371
You know what else
is an option, lady?
361
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,248
Keeping your hands off
other people's swords.
362
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,294
[applause]
363
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,337
That was amazing.
364
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,089
Don't you guys
feel invigorated?
365
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,884
Jim, I-I should
have warned you
366
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,386
how hard this class was.
367
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:51,391
I felt so bad every time
I looked over at you.
368
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,393
You know how they say,
don't let them see you sweat?
369
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,895
Well, uh, clearly
whatever sociopath
370
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,690
invented hot yoga did not--
371
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,275
I forgot the rest
of that sentence.
372
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:02,902
Hey--hey, Kristen.
373
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,529
Um, what are you doing later?
374
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,072
You wanna grab a cup of coffee?
375
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,949
Oh, I don't drink coffee.
376
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,493
How about a couple
of gallons of water?
377
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,829
We can go any place
that serves water.
378
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,456
Hey.
379
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,416
That was a great class.
- [grunts]
380
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,667
[grunts]
381
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,752
Thanks for being
my warrior today.
382
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,795
Any time.
383
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,797
I'll see you at home.
Namaste, baby.
384
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,218
Yoga is such a gift.
385
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,262
It's so good for your heart.
386
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,681
Is it, Ananda?
387
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,850
Is it?
388
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,436
Yeah, is it?
389
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,355
[bright rock music]
390
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,939
Yeah, how about
the way Trey was
391
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,608
totally showing off for her?
392
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,486
How would he like it if I had
been flirting with Ananda?
393
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,780
Oh, Ananda, thank you
for checking me in.
394
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,115
I feel so safe and secure
in your capable,
395
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,825
administrative hands.
396
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,118
Oh, stamp my passport.
397
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,828
Yeah, stamp it, right there.
398
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:56,164
You got it. Right there.
Stamp it. Stamp it.
399
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,083
Right there. Keep stamping.
Keep stamping.
400
00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,459
Stamp my bliss. Yeah.
401
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,629
Yeah, I'm your little
bliss miss.
402
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,381
How'd you like that, Trey?
403
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,009
I'm Jim.
404
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,303
You know what I should
have said to Trey?
405
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,013
"Don't you think you're
overdoing it a little bit?"
406
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,306
And he would have said,
"Overdoing it?
407
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,849
I think
you're overreacting, Julia."
408
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,601
And I would have said,
"Overreacting?
409
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,478
I don't think so."
And then he'd go, "What?"
410
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,813
and I'd go, "Yeah,"
and he'd go, "Pfft,"
411
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,107
and I'd go, "Pssh."
412
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:25,151
Are you having a fight
in your head?
413
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,028
Yeah. I always do.
414
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:29,989
I like to map things out
mentally beforehand.
415
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,533
This is why I always felt
416
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,618
like I entered our fights
in the middle.
417
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,621
If you're gonna
argue with Trey,
418
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,997
you should let him be there
419
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,834
to defend himself
from the get-go.
420
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,335
You're right.
421
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,547
I--I have to go argue
with Trey face-to-face.
422
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,007
Good.
423
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,300
Today should be a bad day
for everybody.
424
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,846
I mean...
[coughs]
425
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,222
I gotta switch grocery stores
426
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,349
so that I never see Kristen
ever again.
427
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,560
I wish you never gave me
those stupid yoga pants.
428
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,646
Oh, yeah.
Blame it on a Christmas gift.
429
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,064
You know what, Jim?
430
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:06,192
Kristen did seem genuinely
happy to see you show up.
431
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,403
And even happier
to see me crawl out.
432
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,489
If I were to write
a new list,
433
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,867
number one would be,
"I wish Jim would have
434
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:17,203
the same confidence he had
when he first asked me out."
435
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,539
I was young and dumb
and had nothing to lose.
436
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,666
And now you're old and dumb
and have nothing to lose.
437
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,086
Food for thought.
438
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,005
Enjoy your fight.
439
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,089
I will.
440
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:34,179
[bright rock music]
441
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,891
[elevator chimes]
442
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,270
Trey, there's--
443
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,022
there's something
I need to say.
444
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:46,024
Out loud.
- Sure. Sure.
445
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,484
I'm going to say it now.
446
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,194
Go. Lay it on me.
447
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,237
Um, you know
how I'm pretty good
448
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,031
at managing
other people's conflicts?
449
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,574
Babe, you're better
than pretty good.
450
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,617
You're ferocious.
451
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,035
Sure, I'm ferocious
in my head,
452
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,203
where I fight with other people
453
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,788
instead of directly talking
to them.
454
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,956
What the hell did Jim do now?
455
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:05,502
No, no, no.
It's--it's about you.
456
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,005
What is it?
457
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,340
You were showing off in yoga.
458
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,550
And--and I didn't know
how to react.
459
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,220
And then she got
all touchy with you
460
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:18,139
and called you her warrior
and talked about your sword.
461
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,599
And then you were
kissing the earth.
462
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,851
And it was embarrassing,
and I didn't know how to react.
463
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,561
And then I got really jealous,
and I have not been jealous
464
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,063
since I was 16 years old,
and it was really, really bad.
465
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,064
I do not wanna be
jealous again.
466
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,107
I got really, really jealous
467
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,525
about a boy named
Craig Heisner.
468
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,901
And it's really embarrassing
that all of these words
469
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:30,860
are just blurting
out of my mouth,
470
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,445
so there you go.
471
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,992
I was showing off.
472
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:42,205
I was showing off for you.
473
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,249
Why were you showing off
for me?
474
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,501
I--you don't need to.
I adore you.
475
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:49,170
I couldn't be
any more impressed by you.
476
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,339
Yeah, and I wanna
keep it that way.
477
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,925
I wanna be enthusiastic
about new challenges.
478
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,594
I wanna volunteer more.
479
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,431
I wanna express my affection
for you poetically.
480
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,061
You took my wish list
out of the trash.
481
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,647
[laughs]
482
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,649
I did.
483
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,944
But your wishes don't belong
in the trash.
484
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,488
That's really romantic.
485
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,614
Here comes a hug.
486
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,616
No, stop, stop! No. No.
487
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,743
What?
488
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,579
Hot yoga hurts.
489
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:25,915
[laughs] Oh, my God.
490
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,543
- [groans]
- Baby. Aw.
491
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,963
♪ ♪
492
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,882
Hey, Kristen.
493
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,091
Jim.
494
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,801
You know,
great class yesterday.
495
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,553
Uh, hard class.
496
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,472
Hard--hot, uh--
497
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,807
hard, hot class.
498
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:47,729
I just--I wanted to apologize
for exaggerating, uh--
499
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,857
actually, inventing
my yoga credentials.
500
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,984
Um, I'm a divorced dad.
501
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,402
I'm dipping my toe
back into dating.
502
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,821
And I just, uh--
- Divorce is brutal.
503
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,198
Yes.
But luckily,
504
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,699
my ex and I are on great terms.
505
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,826
She actually came with me
to the class
506
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,745
with her fiancé, Trey--
507
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,289
his sword was very straight.
508
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,707
You mean the show-off?
509
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,002
I'm so glad you noticed.
510
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,421
My ex and I kept
the family apartment,
511
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,714
and we alternate weeks so that
512
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,257
the kids don't have
to move around.
513
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,468
Oh.
I grew up with divorced parents
514
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,345
and always hated
bouncing back and forth.
515
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,763
It's good you're putting
your kids first.
516
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:25,183
Very unselfish.
That's some life yoga there.
517
00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,685
Sat nam.
518
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:27,811
Sat nam!
519
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,525
Um...
520
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:36,027
hey, uh, you think maybe
we could get a--
521
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,238
a cup of something--not coffee.
522
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,573
Maybe a tea or smoothie?
523
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,616
Boba?
524
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:44,452
Well, I'd kill
for a cup of coffee.
525
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,162
You said
you don't drink coffee.
526
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,497
I lied.
527
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,541
Oh, great.
We have something in common.
528
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,625
[laughs]
529
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,628
♪ ♪
530
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:58,758
{\an8}And exhaling as you squeeze
your legs into your chest.
531
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,052
{\an8}This pose is called
pavanamuktasana,
532
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,930
{\an8}or wind-relieving pose.
533
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:07,017
{\an8}And just to relieve anyone
of any embarrassment,
534
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:10,061
{\an8}I wanna say that if you find
some wind being released,
535
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,522
{\an8}then you're doing it right.
536
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,191
{\an8}Wait, we're supposed to fart?
537
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,530
{\an8}Well, don't go
out of your way, but...
538
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,614
{\an8}Yoga.
539
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,742
{\an8}Where have you been
my whole life?
540
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:28,580
{\an8}♪ ♪
35806
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