Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,173 --> 00:00:05,173
I can't believe little Marty
gonna be a father.
2
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:07,674
I remember him sitting
in this chair,
3
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,374
crying his little eyes out.
4
00:00:10,507 --> 00:00:12,175
You've been cutting his hair
a long time, huh?
5
00:00:12,274 --> 00:00:13,675
Oh, no, that was
a couple of months ago,
6
00:00:13,775 --> 00:00:15,408
after he broke up
with Necie.
7
00:00:17,175 --> 00:00:18,508
It wasn't about Necie!
8
00:00:18,609 --> 00:00:21,076
You nicked me,
and you know it!
9
00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:23,176
So, Calvin, you're about
to be a grandpa.
10
00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:25,043
You gonna get
some Velcro shoes?
11
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,077
Nah. One of those,
uh, pill trays
12
00:00:29,177 --> 00:00:31,078
with every day of the week on it. Oh.
13
00:00:31,178 --> 00:00:32,878
Hey, hey, but don't
mix up your days.
14
00:00:32,978 --> 00:00:34,311
My grandmother did that.
15
00:00:34,411 --> 00:00:35,879
She took her Thursday
on Tuesday.
16
00:00:35,978 --> 00:00:37,679
She was gone by Friday.
17
00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:39,179
Well, you keep talking smack,
18
00:00:39,279 --> 00:00:40,613
you're gonna see
your grandmama today.
19
00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:45,213
Calvin, you should embrace
becoming a grandfather.
20
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,946
You know, my dad couldn't be
more excited about it.
21
00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:50,114
Mm.
I thought your kid was 13.
22
00:00:50,213 --> 00:00:52,247
Ah, yes,
but my dad was indisposed
23
00:00:52,347 --> 00:00:53,847
for a number of those years.
24
00:00:53,947 --> 00:00:57,048
A number of years
determined by a judge.
25
00:00:59,583 --> 00:01:01,816
I'm just saying, you should
look for the positives.
26
00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:02,816
You know, as a grandfather,
27
00:01:02,916 --> 00:01:04,883
you'll be revered
for your wisdom.
28
00:01:04,983 --> 00:01:07,917
Marty is going to need a lot
of advice on how to raise a kid.
29
00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:10,550
You know what?
That is true.
30
00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:12,350
I am the master.
31
00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:13,751
Eh...
32
00:01:13,851 --> 00:01:16,051
Eh...
What?
33
00:01:16,151 --> 00:01:17,618
Look, Dad,
you did a great job.
34
00:01:17,718 --> 00:01:19,518
I- I'm just planning
on raising my kid
35
00:01:19,619 --> 00:01:21,385
with a lot less yelling.
36
00:01:21,485 --> 00:01:24,219
And a lot less belt.
37
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:25,986
It's-it's a new era.
38
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,687
Things are different now.
Yeah.
39
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,486
When I fell off my bike
and hit my head,
40
00:01:29,587 --> 00:01:30,987
you told me to go take a nap.
41
00:01:31,087 --> 00:01:32,887
Are you alive?
42
00:01:32,987 --> 00:01:33,854
Yes.
43
00:01:33,954 --> 00:01:35,487
Then it worked.
44
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,221
Dad, no offense,
45
00:01:38,321 --> 00:01:40,922
but I'm approaching fatherhood
as more of a science.
46
00:01:41,022 --> 00:01:42,689
You see, I'm going
to read all the books,
47
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,189
I'm gonna absorb all the data.
48
00:01:44,289 --> 00:01:46,022
Then I will apply it
in the real world.
49
00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:48,355
I'm going
to get my PhD in D-A-D.
50
00:01:48,455 --> 00:01:49,923
So, Calvin,
51
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,557
what's the kid going
to call you?
52
00:01:51,657 --> 00:01:53,924
Gramps? Papa?
53
00:01:54,024 --> 00:01:55,291
No. Pee-paw!
54
00:01:55,391 --> 00:01:57,057
Oh, you know,
Pee-paw has a nice ring to it.
55
00:01:57,157 --> 00:01:58,892
You know, I may start
calling you Pee-paw.
56
00:01:58,991 --> 00:02:00,692
You better not call me
no damn Pee-paw.
57
00:02:02,125 --> 00:02:05,058
I just started liking you,
Dave. Don't ruin it.
58
00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,560
Guys, I'm not some old,
59
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,727
stuffy, grandpa type,
all right?
60
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,794
In fact, I'm taking
my lady out
61
00:02:13,894 --> 00:02:15,927
to see Earth, Wind &
Fire tomorrow. Okay.
62
00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:19,561
Yeah. Ooh, what time's
that concert? 5:00?
63
00:02:22,028 --> 00:02:24,762
Oh, that's gonna get in the
way of his early-bird special!
64
00:02:28,162 --> 00:02:29,862
No tip?
65
00:02:29,962 --> 00:02:31,529
Yeah, I got a tip for you.
66
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,997
Don't clown your customers
before you get your tip.
67
00:02:35,797 --> 00:02:37,664
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
68
00:02:37,764 --> 00:02:38,998
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
69
00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:46,531
So you're really going to let
your dad take Grover out solo?
70
00:02:46,632 --> 00:02:48,132
I don't know why
you're so surprised.
71
00:02:48,232 --> 00:02:50,265
We're chill.
We're not helicopter parents.
72
00:02:50,365 --> 00:02:51,566
Yes, you are.
73
00:02:52,566 --> 00:02:53,733
We totally are.
74
00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:56,601
* I pull up
with the blick, blick ♪
75
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:58,134
♪ I pull up,
make your clique flip ♪
76
00:02:58,234 --> 00:03:00,568
♪ I pull off in the whip ♪
77
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:01,967
♪ And I skert ♪
78
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:03,234
♪ Skert ♪ ♪ Skert ♪
79
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:05,367
♪ Skert... ♪ ♪ Skert... ♪
80
00:03:08,402 --> 00:03:09,669
What's up, y'all?
81
00:03:09,769 --> 00:03:13,369
Hey, Calvin.
Uh, what was that?
82
00:03:13,469 --> 00:03:15,937
Oh. Oh, yeah.
That was lit, right?
83
00:03:16,036 --> 00:03:18,370
That was that...
That's that new Lil Side Baby.
84
00:03:18,469 --> 00:03:19,704
Oh. Oh, so,
85
00:03:19,804 --> 00:03:22,771
did your radio get stuck
on the wrong station?
86
00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:24,470
That wasn't the radio, dawg.
87
00:03:27,105 --> 00:03:30,405
That-that was on my phone.
I- I made a new playlist. Dope.
88
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:32,006
Oh. What else is on it?
89
00:03:32,106 --> 00:03:34,172
Just that one song.
90
00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:36,907
Okay, Calvin, is this because
we were ribbing you
91
00:03:37,007 --> 00:03:38,740
at the barbershop
about being a grandfather?
92
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,908
Look, man, I'm nobody's
grandpa, all right?
93
00:03:42,008 --> 00:03:45,508
I'm just a man who has a son
who's having a baby.
94
00:03:46,575 --> 00:03:49,809
Uh, I don't know
what you're talking about,
95
00:03:49,909 --> 00:03:52,676
'cause I cannot wait for
that baby to call me "Grandma. "
96
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:53,676
Aw.
97
00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:55,676
Or Lovey. Or-or Gammy.
98
00:03:55,776 --> 00:03:57,310
Or Gammy T.
99
00:03:57,410 --> 00:04:00,711
Ooh, Glammy T.
Let's lock that one in.
100
00:04:02,611 --> 00:04:04,977
Hey, so what's
a blick, blick?
101
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:08,945
Okay, well, if you have to ask,
then the music's not for you.
102
00:04:10,378 --> 00:04:12,212
Boomers, right?
103
00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:15,579
♪ Blick, blick,
skert, skert, oh! ♪
104
00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:19,847
Yo.
Hey.
105
00:04:19,947 --> 00:04:21,379
Oh, what's all this?
106
00:04:21,479 --> 00:04:23,314
Oh, Amazon Prime delivered
some parenting books.
107
00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:25,480
I'm reading up.
By the time this baby arrives,
108
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:27,048
I'll know everything
I need to know.
109
00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:28,981
Okay.
110
00:04:29,081 --> 00:04:30,481
How to Raise a Green Baby.
111
00:04:30,582 --> 00:04:32,248
Mm-hmm.
112
00:04:32,348 --> 00:04:34,582
I would hope you're
having a Black baby.
113
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:37,583
No. No, see,
this book teaches you
114
00:04:37,683 --> 00:04:39,316
how to have a kid
that's carbon neutral.
115
00:04:39,416 --> 00:04:40,750
Oh.
Yeah.
116
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,017
What the hell
does that mean?
117
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:47,550
I don't know,
but in 600 pages, I will.
118
00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:50,451
Oh, uh, guess who I'm going out
for drinks with tomorrow. Who?
119
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,119
My old buddy
Chili Mangold.
120
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,952
Oh, your old college teammate?
121
00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:56,819
Yup.
What's he doing in town?
122
00:04:56,919 --> 00:04:59,219
We're, uh, playing
San Diego State tomorrow.
123
00:04:59,319 --> 00:05:01,386
He's their new head coach. Oh.
124
00:05:01,486 --> 00:05:03,953
Nice. Uh, head coach. That's...
125
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,520
Wow. That's-that's big-time.
126
00:05:05,621 --> 00:05:07,454
Yeah.
127
00:05:07,553 --> 00:05:09,822
He's a lot younger
than you, isn't he?
128
00:05:12,421 --> 00:05:14,188
Two years, Marty.
Oh.
129
00:05:14,288 --> 00:05:15,623
That's not a lot.
130
00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:16,623
Oh. Yeah.
131
00:05:16,723 --> 00:05:19,555
Plus, he has
a summer birthday, so...
132
00:05:19,656 --> 00:05:21,389
Yeah, well, good for him.
133
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,156
Uh, okay, I'm going to start
134
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,389
with How to Speak Baby
with Your Baby. Yeah.
135
00:05:25,489 --> 00:05:27,490
You know, uh,
136
00:05:27,591 --> 00:05:29,891
just because Chili
is a little ahead of me,
137
00:05:29,991 --> 00:05:31,891
that does not mean
that I'm behind, so...
138
00:05:31,991 --> 00:05:33,425
That's fair.
139
00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:35,458
Yeah. Yeah,
he's a head coach, Marty, okay,
140
00:05:35,558 --> 00:05:37,992
but San Diego State-
they are not that good.
141
00:05:38,092 --> 00:05:40,192
Yes, they are undefeated,
okay, but so were we
142
00:05:40,292 --> 00:05:42,392
till we hit that rough patch
a couple of weeks ago.
143
00:05:44,526 --> 00:05:45,927
Malcolm, are you okay?
144
00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:48,460
Yes, I am okay,
and I am very, very happy
145
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,361
for Chili Mangold!
Okay.
146
00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:54,361
Okay. Uh, you seem
a bit fussy.
147
00:05:54,461 --> 00:05:57,095
And according to this book,
you might have gas.
148
00:05:58,429 --> 00:05:59,630
Can I practice burping you?
149
00:05:59,729 --> 00:06:01,495
Can I practice punching you?
150
00:06:01,596 --> 00:06:02,696
Let me burp you, man. Come on.
151
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:06,496
Let me freaking go!
Let me go!
152
00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,296
Let me burp you!
Let me burp you!
153
00:06:11,364 --> 00:06:13,698
It's good to see you, Dad.
You're looking good.
154
00:06:13,798 --> 00:06:14,832
Oh, thanks, son.
155
00:06:14,932 --> 00:06:17,632
Notice anything
different about me?
156
00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:19,298
You got your ankle monitor off!
157
00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:21,232
I did. I'm a free man.
158
00:06:21,332 --> 00:06:23,532
Except for weekly urine tests.
159
00:06:25,499 --> 00:06:27,734
Lamar! Thank you
so much for coming.
160
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,234
Aww.
161
00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:30,734
Yeah, we both have
such crazy days,
162
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,000
it really is helpful that you
can drive Grover around for us.
163
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,200
Oh, I'm happy to do it.
164
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,101
I missed so much time
with you growing up,
165
00:06:37,201 --> 00:06:39,335
because of mandatory
minimum sentences.
166
00:06:41,136 --> 00:06:43,702
I want to enjoy
every minute with Grover.
167
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:45,469
So Dave says
you bought a car?
168
00:06:45,569 --> 00:06:46,937
That I did.
169
00:06:47,037 --> 00:06:49,603
As in paid for?
Legally, it's yours?
170
00:06:51,837 --> 00:06:53,470
Yes, Gemma.
171
00:06:55,971 --> 00:06:58,504
Not bad, huh? 1980.
172
00:06:58,605 --> 00:07:00,772
Still got
the original tires.
173
00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:05,172
Low mileage?
174
00:07:05,272 --> 00:07:08,073
Odometer's taped over,
but I'd guess so.
175
00:07:09,373 --> 00:07:10,306
So, where's Grover?
176
00:07:10,406 --> 00:07:11,306
No.
177
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:12,340
Excuse me?
178
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,041
Not happening.
Grover can't ride in that.
179
00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:15,141
It's not safe.
180
00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:16,941
The seat belt is a rope.
181
00:07:20,242 --> 00:07:23,475
You can drive Dave's car.
Dave can drive yours to work.
182
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:25,075
So it's too dangerous
for Grover to ride in,
183
00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:26,308
but it's okay for me?
184
00:07:26,408 --> 00:07:28,843
It's fine. Just get it
back before dark.
185
00:07:28,943 --> 00:07:30,844
Those headlights do not work.
186
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,977
You know what?
I- I'll just take an Uber.
187
00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:35,744
Yeah...
188
00:07:35,844 --> 00:07:37,344
Oh, hey, Marty!
189
00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:38,510
You remember
my dad.
190
00:07:38,611 --> 00:07:41,811
Well, how could I forget
a white man named Lamar?
191
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,211
I hear you're going
to be a father.
192
00:07:44,311 --> 00:07:45,211
Good for you.
193
00:07:45,311 --> 00:07:46,478
Yeah.
194
00:07:46,578 --> 00:07:47,679
Oh, you're reading
Ready, Set, Toddler.
195
00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:48,879
It's great, isn't it?
196
00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:50,179
Well, it's okay.
197
00:07:50,279 --> 00:07:51,647
It's a little
touchy-feely for me.
198
00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:53,880
Oh, well, let it
touch you, bro.
199
00:07:55,614 --> 00:07:56,648
Are you sure?
200
00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:59,480
Yeah. I mean, trust me,
it is amazing.
201
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,914
You know, that book was
my GPS to fatherhood.
202
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,082
It's probably why Grover
has such great life skills.
203
00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:05,249
Uh, Dad?
204
00:08:05,348 --> 00:08:08,115
A little help
with this hoodie?
205
00:08:08,215 --> 00:08:09,816
Oh, uh...
206
00:08:09,916 --> 00:08:11,683
Son, that's a pair
of sweatpants.
207
00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:15,651
Oh.
208
00:08:15,751 --> 00:08:17,350
Uh...
209
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:20,317
Why don't you go inside and
take another crack at it, champ?
210
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,151
You got this.
211
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,918
Ah.
212
00:08:26,018 --> 00:08:29,019
You know, I thought
I smelled burning oil out here.
213
00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:31,086
Did this thing
even pass inspection?
214
00:08:31,186 --> 00:08:33,219
Ha! I wish.
215
00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:36,419
I hear congratulations
are in order.
216
00:08:36,519 --> 00:08:38,254
Oh, well, yes, they are.
217
00:08:38,354 --> 00:08:39,820
Welcome to the Grandpa Club.
218
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,154
Tip from an old pro?
219
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,155
Keep hard candy in
the front sweater pocket,
220
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,554
kids go bananas for 'em.
221
00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:48,321
All right,
I'm not "hard candy" old.
222
00:08:48,421 --> 00:08:49,922
Well, I don't know, Calvin,
you do make sounds
223
00:08:50,022 --> 00:08:51,922
when you get up, and...
224
00:08:52,022 --> 00:08:53,989
well, and when
you sit down.
225
00:08:54,089 --> 00:08:55,556
It's the furniture, Dave.
226
00:08:56,723 --> 00:08:58,023
Oh, so it's
the furniture that goes...
227
00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,923
Damn.
228
00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:04,691
Okay. Look, y'all just hating on
a man that's in his prime.
229
00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:07,692
I mean, come on,
could an old man do this?
230
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,359
Oh, watch out now, Daddy.
231
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:11,025
Watch out, Daddy. Okay.
Huh?
232
00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:12,159
Or Shabba Doo like this?
233
00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:14,026
Oh!
234
00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:18,893
Dad?
235
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,360
Dad, are-are you okay?
236
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,127
Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah.
237
00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:26,795
Yeah, this that...
238
00:09:26,895 --> 00:09:29,295
This that new
Lil Side Baby shuffle.
239
00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:31,962
It's the Side Baby.
240
00:09:33,295 --> 00:09:34,663
Skert, skert!
241
00:09:39,797 --> 00:09:41,097
Okay, good, they're only a block
away. Well, put your phone away.
242
00:09:41,197 --> 00:09:42,697
We don't want them to know
we're tracking them.
243
00:09:42,797 --> 00:09:44,364
Well, what are they gonna think
we're doing standing out here?
244
00:09:44,464 --> 00:09:46,130
Crap. Act natural.
245
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,298
Oh, look,
they're back already.
246
00:09:52,265 --> 00:09:54,732
Sup, Mom?
247
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,533
What's happening?
248
00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:10,234
Grandpa Lamar gave me
my first driving lesson.
249
00:10:10,334 --> 00:10:12,769
In a car? On the street?
250
00:10:12,869 --> 00:10:14,969
Mostly on the street.
251
00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:18,636
You let a 13-year-old
drive a car?
252
00:10:18,736 --> 00:10:20,003
Oh, please.
253
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,736
If he can smoke,
he can drive.
254
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:24,170
I can smoke?
255
00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:25,303
No!
No!
256
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,772
All right, well,
I talked to Dr. Fisher.
257
00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:31,172
He's gonna fit you in.
258
00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:33,438
I don't need to see
a doctor, babe, I'm fine.
259
00:10:33,538 --> 00:10:35,839
No, you're not. Your knee's
the size of a cantaloupe.
260
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,840
Ain't nothing wrong
with a big knee.
261
00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,874
I think there is.
262
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:46,174
Look, babe, I'm telling you
all I need is
263
00:10:46,274 --> 00:10:48,107
a little Bengay and a nap.
264
00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:50,875
Uh-huh. Okay. Well,
are we still going to see
265
00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:52,141
Earth, Wind & Fire tonight?
266
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,341
Sure.
267
00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:56,108
You know, with the traffic
and parking.
268
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,109
You know, we better get going.
269
00:10:57,209 --> 00:10:58,976
Come on.
Sure thing. Nothing to it.
270
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,976
Yep, yep. No doubt.
271
00:11:03,077 --> 00:11:04,943
Whoo. Whoo!
272
00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:06,843
All right.
273
00:11:06,943 --> 00:11:08,678
Okay, you know what?
I'm sorry, babe.
274
00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:11,011
I know you really wanted
to see Earth Wind & Fire, but...
275
00:11:11,111 --> 00:11:13,444
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
276
00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:15,111
No, it's not fine.
277
00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:17,912
You know... I'm old.
278
00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,812
The band old.
279
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,279
Everybody old.
280
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,613
I mean, they're already down
to two elements.
281
00:11:25,714 --> 00:11:27,313
I mean, by the time they go
back on tour,
282
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:29,446
it'll just be Wind.
283
00:11:32,281 --> 00:11:35,347
Okay, so let's get you
to the doctor
284
00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:36,348
so you could get better.
285
00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:39,883
Better to do what?
Nobody needs me.
286
00:11:39,982 --> 00:11:40,983
Come on.
287
00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,316
What are you talking
about, Calvin?
288
00:11:42,415 --> 00:11:43,515
Come on, let's just
face it, Tina,
289
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,149
my boys don't need me anymore.
290
00:11:45,249 --> 00:11:47,850
Marty is about to
become a father.
291
00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:50,117
But did he call me
for advice?
292
00:11:50,217 --> 00:11:53,484
No. He just ordered
a bunch of books.
293
00:11:53,584 --> 00:11:55,851
Even Dave fixed
his own lawn mower
294
00:11:55,951 --> 00:11:57,385
without my help.
295
00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,786
He just looked at
some video on YouTube.
296
00:12:01,585 --> 00:12:03,486
He tried to ask you,
297
00:12:03,586 --> 00:12:05,352
and you sprayed him
with the hose.
298
00:12:05,452 --> 00:12:06,753
That's our process.
299
00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:10,953
Come on, Grover,
we're gonna be late.
300
00:12:11,053 --> 00:12:13,587
Dave, now your dad's
texting me
301
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,754
because you won't
take his calls.
302
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:17,354
Maybe we overreacted.
303
00:12:17,454 --> 00:12:19,689
It was one driving lesson.
Grover's safe.
304
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:21,189
Is it that big a deal?
305
00:12:21,289 --> 00:12:24,089
It's a big deal to me.
306
00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:26,190
You know, driving lessons are
a "dad" thing.
307
00:12:26,289 --> 00:12:28,656
Ever since he was
crawling around,
308
00:12:28,756 --> 00:12:30,023
I've been thinking
about the day
309
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:32,490
where I got to put him behind
the wheel of a car.
310
00:12:32,590 --> 00:12:34,523
Well, you can still do that.
311
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:37,024
Yeah, but it won't be
the first time.
312
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,357
He probably just took Grover
around the block.
313
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,792
Wrong. They drove all the way
to that donut place.
314
00:12:41,892 --> 00:12:43,625
You know, the one with
the big, giant donut?
315
00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:46,625
And even worse, Lamar
only got enough donuts
316
00:12:46,726 --> 00:12:49,293
for him and Grover.
317
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:52,127
That's just rude.
318
00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:53,827
That driving lesson
was a moment
319
00:12:53,927 --> 00:12:56,060
that I'd been waiting for.
320
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,360
Lamar stole it
321
00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,427
just like he steals everything.
322
00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:04,228
Hey, man.
Hmm?
323
00:13:04,328 --> 00:13:06,096
You said there weren't
any more donuts.
324
00:13:06,196 --> 00:13:08,129
No, I said there were
no extra donuts.
325
00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:11,230
Your pants are inside out.
326
00:13:15,597 --> 00:13:17,530
Hey.
327
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,531
Well, it's official.
328
00:13:20,631 --> 00:13:22,765
Your brother is a loser.
329
00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:24,431
You lost the game?
330
00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:28,132
No, Marty, we won the game.
I'm just losing at life.
331
00:13:28,232 --> 00:13:30,866
Chili Mangold is
a head coach,
332
00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:33,133
and I'm just an assistant
batting coach.
333
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,033
I'm not where I should be
in life.
334
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:38,034
Oh, man, well, I'm sure
you'll be head coach someday.
335
00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:39,401
Yeah, sure, Marty.
336
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:42,501
As soon as, like,
eight people above me die.
337
00:13:44,302 --> 00:13:45,402
I mean, that could happen.
338
00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:48,068
You guys are out
in the sun a lot.
339
00:13:48,168 --> 00:13:50,336
I- I shouldn't have said that.
340
00:13:50,435 --> 00:13:52,036
I mean, man, if I'm
really serious about
341
00:13:52,136 --> 00:13:53,303
becoming a head coach,
I'm gonna have to
342
00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:55,203
move someplace
where there's openings.
343
00:13:55,303 --> 00:13:56,904
Hello, Tulsa.
344
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,204
I hear Tulsa's nice.
345
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:01,304
There are no job openings
in Tulsa.
346
00:14:02,437 --> 00:14:03,671
Then why you keep saying Tulsa?
347
00:14:03,771 --> 00:14:04,705
I don't know, Marty.
348
00:14:04,805 --> 00:14:06,005
Why won't you just let me vent?
349
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:08,271
Because I'm freaking out,
too, man.
350
00:14:08,371 --> 00:14:09,872
I've been up all night
reading these parenting books,
351
00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:11,206
and it's useless.
352
00:14:11,306 --> 00:14:13,039
It's all psychobabble,
and no two of them agree.
353
00:14:13,139 --> 00:14:14,439
But they all say if you don't
do it their way,
354
00:14:14,539 --> 00:14:16,273
you're gonna end up
raising a monster.
355
00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:19,540
What did I get myself into?
356
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,841
I should just move
to Tulsa with you.
357
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:25,974
There's no job in Tulsa.
358
00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:29,775
I'm here live at the Forum,
359
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:32,943
where the stars have come out
to see Earth, Wind & Fire
360
00:14:33,043 --> 00:14:35,043
on the final night
of their tour.
361
00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:38,210
And there's a rumor
the Queen Bey herself
362
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,677
might join the band onstage...
363
00:14:43,477 --> 00:14:45,211
I'm sorry, babe.
364
00:14:45,311 --> 00:14:46,577
That's okay, baby.
365
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,978
Who wants to deal with
all that traffic? Yeah.
366
00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:51,045
Overpriced food.
367
00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:53,146
Floor seats dead center.
368
00:14:55,079 --> 00:14:58,279
And look, we would have missed
who's knocking at our door.
369
00:14:59,747 --> 00:15:01,980
Oh, Lamar.
370
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,347
Yay.
371
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:07,881
Hi, Tina.
372
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,281
Can I please borrow
Calvin for a minute?
373
00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:11,916
Of course.
Thank you.
374
00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:14,482
Wow, really hurt
yourself there, huh?
375
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,449
I guess that's why they
call it break dancing.
376
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,817
You are definitely
Dave's dad.
377
00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:24,818
And that's why I'm here.
378
00:15:24,918 --> 00:15:26,650
I really stepped
in it with him.
379
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:29,284
I gave Grover
a driving lesson.
380
00:15:29,384 --> 00:15:33,319
Really? The boy can
barely ride an escalator.
381
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:35,952
He did okay.
382
00:15:36,052 --> 00:15:38,285
Took out a mailbox,
scared some ducks.
383
00:15:40,453 --> 00:15:42,320
I guess I was trying to
share an experience
384
00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:45,021
with my grandson that I never
got to have with my son,
385
00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,254
and now Dave's really mad,
386
00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:47,521
and I don't know
what to do about it.
387
00:15:47,621 --> 00:15:51,255
Lamar, look, you can't
change the past.
388
00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:54,355
You're gonna have to stop
obsessing over what you missed.
389
00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:56,522
But I missed his
entire childhood,
390
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,655
and I'll never get it back.
391
00:15:58,756 --> 00:16:01,389
Pop!
392
00:16:01,489 --> 00:16:03,690
I think I've done
my whole life wrong.
393
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:06,024
What are you talking about?
394
00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:07,758
I'm not even close
to my goals in life,
395
00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:10,825
and meanwhile, Chili Mangold
is younger than me,
396
00:16:10,925 --> 00:16:12,025
and he is killing it.
397
00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:15,026
Good God, look at
the size of your knee!
398
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:16,491
Daddy!
399
00:16:16,591 --> 00:16:18,792
Daddy!
400
00:16:18,892 --> 00:16:20,059
Daddy, help me.
401
00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:22,326
I am not ready to
be a father. Whoa!
402
00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:25,360
You need to get that
checked out.
403
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,028
Malcolm, get out of my way.
I am having a crisis!
404
00:16:29,128 --> 00:16:30,794
Oh, please, man,
I'm having a crisis, too.
405
00:16:30,894 --> 00:16:31,894
Oh, oh, let me guess.
406
00:16:31,994 --> 00:16:33,628
Is it Chili Mangold?
Yeah.
407
00:16:33,729 --> 00:16:36,162
I've had it up to here
with Chili Mangold, okay?
408
00:16:40,162 --> 00:16:42,562
Daddy, I am totally unprepared
to be a father.
409
00:16:42,662 --> 00:16:45,230
I know nothing, and then
I read everything,
410
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:46,596
and I feel like I know
even less.
411
00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:48,231
Like, how do you stop
a nosebleed?
412
00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:49,364
Head forward.
Head back.
413
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,997
See? See?
414
00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:54,231
What about fevers,
or temper tantrums?
415
00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:55,865
Or what if they suck their toes?
416
00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:59,432
Oh, it's so cute when they
suck their little toes.
417
00:16:59,532 --> 00:17:01,498
Is it cute? Sure.
But is it okay?
418
00:17:01,598 --> 00:17:03,033
Like, are toes
a choking hazard?
419
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:05,266
What about pennies,
Triscuits, Legos?
420
00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:06,834
Legos?!
421
00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:09,534
That baby won't have Legos
for six years, man. Move!
422
00:17:09,633 --> 00:17:10,701
I'm having a problem now.
423
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,835
Malcolm, Marty, that's enough.
424
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,368
Malcolm, you can't
judge yourself
425
00:17:17,468 --> 00:17:20,301
by Chili Mangold
or anybody else.
426
00:17:20,401 --> 00:17:22,569
You're running your own race,
427
00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:24,369
and if you put in the work, son,
428
00:17:24,469 --> 00:17:28,137
everything that's meant for you
will be yours, trust me.
429
00:17:28,237 --> 00:17:29,570
All right, Pop.
430
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:30,738
And, Marty,
431
00:17:30,838 --> 00:17:33,804
all those books,
they don't mean anything.
432
00:17:33,904 --> 00:17:38,204
In the words of the great
Black philosopher, Mike Tyson...
433
00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:43,672
"Every man has a plan until
434
00:17:43,773 --> 00:17:45,873
he gets punched in the face. "
435
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,406
And that's what having
a baby is like.
436
00:17:50,506 --> 00:17:53,741
Yeah, but I don't want to
get punched in the face.
437
00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:56,507
Well, it's a little late
for that.
438
00:17:58,042 --> 00:18:00,742
But trust me,
I will be in your corner,
439
00:18:00,842 --> 00:18:03,075
and I will help you
fight that baby.
440
00:18:05,176 --> 00:18:07,443
And-and, Lamar, look,
441
00:18:07,543 --> 00:18:10,076
I know you missed out
on Dave's childhood,
442
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:14,010
but trust me, no matter
how old your kid is,
443
00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:17,078
he will always be your kid.
444
00:18:17,177 --> 00:18:20,011
Yeah, maybe there's still
a little kid left in Dave.
445
00:18:20,111 --> 00:18:21,846
Maybe?
446
00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:24,746
If there is any man that
still wants to be a little kid,
447
00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:26,179
it's Dave.
448
00:18:27,747 --> 00:18:30,212
Okay, fellas, time's up.
Calvin needs his rest.
449
00:18:30,312 --> 00:18:31,813
Move along.
Go on, now.
450
00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:34,080
Thanks, Pop.
Thank you.
451
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,081
Thanks, Dad.
452
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,680
You know, Calvin,
I was listening,
453
00:18:38,781 --> 00:18:41,915
and for someone who thinks
he's old and useless,
454
00:18:42,015 --> 00:18:45,382
you just helped three grown
men solve their problems. Hmm.
455
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:46,815
I guess I did, didn't I?
456
00:18:46,915 --> 00:18:49,182
Yes, you did.
Oh, well.
457
00:18:49,282 --> 00:18:51,116
If I'm gonna be a grandfather,
458
00:18:51,216 --> 00:18:54,016
then I need to get
myself together. Mm-hmm.
459
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:55,917
You mind driving me
to urgent care?
460
00:18:56,017 --> 00:18:57,784
Oh, of course, my little baby.
461
00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,184
Okay, be easy, be easy.
462
00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:00,718
I got you.
463
00:19:00,818 --> 00:19:02,384
All right.
464
00:19:02,484 --> 00:19:03,852
You know what, babe?
465
00:19:03,952 --> 00:19:05,585
And I'm sorry about missing
466
00:19:05,685 --> 00:19:07,552
the whole Earth, Wind & Fire
thing.
467
00:19:07,652 --> 00:19:10,053
But you know who's coming
to town next month?
468
00:19:10,153 --> 00:19:11,586
Who?
469
00:19:11,686 --> 00:19:12,919
Lil Side Baby.
470
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,519
Let me hear that song again.
471
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:17,020
♪ I pull up in a new whip ♪
472
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,020
♪ And I skert! ♪
473
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,087
Yeah.
474
00:19:19,187 --> 00:19:20,387
♪ Skert, skert ♪
475
00:19:20,487 --> 00:19:21,921
♪ You skert
♪ Skert, skert ♪
476
00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:23,687
♪ Then you skert
♪ Skert, skert ♪
477
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:26,155
♪ Ooh, it hurt! ♪
478
00:19:26,255 --> 00:19:27,822
♪ It hurt, hurt.
Let's go, let's go.
479
00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,689
Hey, son.
Yeah.
480
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:37,057
Keep rolling, old man, I got
nothing to say to you.
481
00:19:38,057 --> 00:19:39,958
Well, I've got something
to say to you.
482
00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:43,424
I guess I was trying
to connect with Grover
483
00:19:43,524 --> 00:19:44,991
because I wanted to make up
484
00:19:45,091 --> 00:19:46,658
for never connecting with you.
485
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,192
You still haven't.
486
00:19:48,292 --> 00:19:50,025
I know, and I'm sorry.
487
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:52,826
I overreached,
and it will not happen again.
488
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:57,360
Lamar, did you teach Grover
how to shank somebody
489
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:59,961
with a sharpened toothbrush?
Come on.
490
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:03,061
In my defense,
that was meant for
491
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,995
dire situations only.
492
00:20:05,094 --> 00:20:07,262
Fighting cavities,
there's your priority.
493
00:20:12,662 --> 00:20:13,996
What are you doing
with that tire?
494
00:20:14,096 --> 00:20:16,196
Remember when you were
eight years old,
495
00:20:16,296 --> 00:20:18,797
and you really wanted me
to make you a tire swing?
496
00:20:18,897 --> 00:20:19,964
You never did.
497
00:20:20,064 --> 00:20:21,964
Until now.
498
00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:26,298
Dad, I am not
eight years old anymore.
499
00:20:27,298 --> 00:20:30,331
So, no swing?
500
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,933
Well...
501
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,499
we can put it up.
502
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:43,500
But you cannot push me.
503
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,567
Maybe just a little
to get me going.
35672
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof