All language subtitles for Kahden.Kauppa.1975.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Digitally restored by the
Swedish Film Institute in 2018.

Downloaded from
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Gonorrhea.

That is, I think it's gonorrhea.

But you never know.
It could be urethritis or...

You can discuss that with the doctor.

Okay.

Have a seat on the couch
until someone calls you.

-Okay.
-Thank you.

PATIENT CABIN

Numbers 11 through 20, red tokens.
This way.

Sit on the red couch.
Number 11, follow me in to the doctor.

Number 11...

Yes?

-Lars Bengtsson.
-What seems to be the problem?

It hurts when I use the bathroom.

-Do you think it's gonorrhea?
-Maybe. Or urethritis...

Is there pus in your underwear?

I saw some... Well, sometimes.

When did you last have intercourse?

-Day before yesterday.
-Pull down your underwear.

Take out your penis.

Pull the foreskin back. The foreskin.

Okay.

-You have gonorrhea.
-Have you taken penicillin before?

-Not for gonorrhea.
-But you've taken it before?

-Yeah, for strep throat.
-I'm giving you a shot. It won't hurt.

No intercourse during treatment.

Come back next Monday evening
at the same time.

Let's go see the counselor.

-Next, please.
-Thanks.

I'm Elisabeth Samerus. And you are?

Lars Bengtsson.

Lars Bengtsson. You're a journalist?

Yes, I'm a journalist. Or rather,
I studied journalism in college.

-I don't have a job.
-I see that you're unemployed.

-I deliver newspapers.
-That's your only job?

Yeah.

We're here to discuss
where you got this infection.

Well...

Things have been a bit of a mess.

It'll be hard to trace, I'm afraid.

Well...

There have been two or three girls
in the last two weeks.

Something like that.
But I can't remember any names.

That's unfortunate.

-It says here that you're unmarried.
-That's correct.

-Do you live with anyone?
-No. I had a steady girlfriend.

We broke up three weeks ago.

So, life has been messy lately?

Yeah.

The dance floor is full of gonococci.
Rest assured of that.

-You must've been so embarrassed.
-Embarrassed?

-Standing there with your pants down.
-I should be proud.

Of course you should get gonorrhea.
You're a virgin.

From now on, you can take it out and say:

-"This bad boy's seen it all."
-Yep.

I made the world's biggest mistake.

I broke up
with the best girl in the world.

So, I just call her,
"Anita, I want to marry you."

I'm all torn up about it.
There's a chance of relapse.

Don't worry about that.
I'll drag you out every night.

Do so. Stay on me.

Drag me everywhere.

Constantly. Tie me up.

Not a sunset alone. I can't take it.

I have to hit the head.

Can I leave you alone for a while?

-It's fucking risky, I have to say.
-That's what I thought.

Hey, babe? Can you keep an eye
on this guy? He's lonely.

He just broke up with his girl.

If he's left on his own,
he'll get hitched.

Cheers!

-What were we talking about?
-People. Connection.

Give something, get something.

Offer yourself.

It's important to talk about these things.

-It's really important.
-I'm just joking.

Don't take it seriously.

-But...
-I have buddies. I'm not alone.

I can see you're very tense.

You really are.

You can talk to me, be straight with me.

I think you have a lot to offer.

Despite being really dishonest,
you have a lot to offer.

You do.

Can we go to your place?

Or to mine?

Sure.

Or we can stay and talk.

-Are you coming?
-Yeah.

Calm down. I'm not going to eat you.

-Let's get a taxi.
-Bye.

-You're leaving?
-Yeah, I have to...

It'll be fine. Bye.

-Yeah.
-Now you're being honest.

Yeah...

It'll be fun to sit and talk.

Honesty turns me on.

It feels good. It turns me on.
How about you?

Yeah. Sure.

-Hey.
-Quiet. Don't say anything.

-Wait.
-It'll be great.

To tell you the truth...

Yeah?

-Well...
-Say it.

-Well...
-Say it.

To be really fucking honest, I...

Yes?

This is really embarrassing,
but to be honest...

I...

I'm in a hurry.

I have to get the newspapers out.

-I didn't think about the newspapers.
-What a downer.

-It's really late.
-What a bummer!

-I know. I'm hopeless.
-God!

It never even occurred to me.

-I forgot all about the papers.
-I'm totally turned off now.

Shit!

-Why do people read the paper?
-Leave, if you're in such a hurry.

Leave!

Goddammit!

Don't be sad about it.

I'm not worth it.

Lasse, stay a while. We can have dinner.

-I can't. I'm just here to get my things.
-Just a little while, Lasse.

If I stay, we'll just start crying.

It's wrong.

-That's your lamp.
-You can keep it.

I don't want it.

You can have it.

I don't want it. Just take it.

I have lamps. It'll leave a blank spot.

I want a different lamp.
I don't want that lamp.

-Why can't you keep it for now?
-I don't want it! Take the lamp and go!

Have you sowed your wild oats now?

Over and over you told me
that you weren't ready for a relationship.

It was all talk.

It was just so you could leave.

Shit!

Try being honest
next time you break up with someone.

Why do I have to...

You don't mean a word you say.
You're a coward.

I've never met such a fucking coward.

What did you do
with the bottle of antacids?

You and your goddamned pills
and medicines!

What you need is a nurse.

Marry a nurse
so you have something to talk about.

There's not a pill in the world
that cures hypochondria.

Lasse!

Your heart medicine!

How will you survive without it?

Boo!

Scared you, didn't I?

Yeah, a little.

I really scared you, didn't I?

-Are you okay?
-It's my heart...

-It's...
-What?

-Your heart?
-Heart palpitations.

It's just nerves.

Do you want to come in
and have a glass of water?

Sure.

I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you like that.

It's just nerves. I'm fine.

-Should I call a doctor?
-No!

-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm fine now.

-It was dumb of me to scare you like that.
-No, it was funny.

No glass. I'm good.

Would you rather have a beer?

No, I'm fine.

Paff
Exciting sex

-Better now.
-Scary!

-Are you sure?
-Yeah.

-It's happened before. I'm used to it.
-How scary.

It's fine. Sorry I scared you.

-Bye!
-Are you sure you're okay?

-Yeah.
-What?

-Can I help you?
-No need.

-Did you get a paper?
-Yes.

Here's one to remember me by.

-Thanks.
-Thanks for the water.

Bye!

Bosse!

-Hey!
-Hey!

-Are you awake?
-Now I am.

I brought a couple of chicks.

-Where are they?
-Here!

I've got Pin-Up, Raff, Cavalcade.
I found a bunch of porn rags.

-Can I come up for a while?
-Sure!

Sure. Welcome!

"Dominique photographed
the bedroom happenings."

This is for the German market.

"Dominique whispered rhythmically
during the relations:"

"Fuck me here! Fuck me there!"

"Suck me full, suck me empty!"

"Lick me dry! Lick me wet!"

"My pussy moans! My pussy pants!"

"Dicks here, dicks there!"

"Do what you should, and make it good."

-Fantastic!
-Just my style.

Cheers!

-Cheers.
-Oh, my.

Into the fog...

Morning wine is really fine.

You're a poet!

You shouldn't have been a journalist.
You should have studied the arts.

If you feel overwrought, just have a shot.

I can't take it!

Not a dull moment.

Damn. I'm blubbering.

The pipe sprung a leak.

If your eyes start to tear,
drown yourself in beer.

Damn.

Am I okay? Can I ask you that?

-Am I okay?
-No.

-You don't look like you feel okay.
-I'm a total wreck.

-I haven't slept a wink.
-Is your heart pounding?

-Exercise. Would that help?
-What?

Exercise. You know...

Pants... Do you have anything sportier?
We need proper exercise clothes.

I have exercise clothes.

Sorry.

-Screw this.
-Nope. Out on the track.

I'll run like this. Screw it.

It's awfully quiet back there.

Yeah...

Bosse! You have to do this.

-What is it?
-You lift it up and down like this.

The more reps the better.

These arms haven't lifted anything
but cocktail glasses.

-It's getting heavy.
-It's hard to get it up in the morning.

Can you get it up?

Log up, log down.

-Log up.
-I'm starting to feel old.

Menopause?

Let's run.

Faster!

Fucking hell...

Idiot.

-Did you see them?
-Keep up.

-No...
-You'll perk up tomorrow. Come on!

-Sit, Bosse. I need to talk to you.
-Wimp.

-Keep going.
-No. Ridiculous.

-I don't feel good.
-A little hill.

My heart is racing.

That's okay.
Be happy it's beating. It's a good thing.

We party every night.
I can't do it anymore.

I need to stay home for a while.

I quit. I'm quitting everything.

I've said before
that it sounds perfectly fine.

There's nothing wrong with your heart.
It's healthy.

And these heart palpitations...

Even if they're uncomfortable,
it's just nerves.

-I've told you that.
-How can you be sure?

This notion that bacteria
infected your heart has been ruled out.

If you just listen, how can you be sure?

Bengtsson,
hasn't your gonorrhea cleared up?

-It wasn't the gonorrhea...
-No...

We've thoroughly examined your heart.
Your ECG was completely normal.

You need to try
and accept that you're healthy.

Even if you feel uncomfortable sometimes.

Can you be sure... Maybe you heard wrong.

Not as many times
as I've listened to your heart.

Try to think about something else.

Exercise, get in shape.

That usually helps
these kinds of problems.

BOO!

It's an abbreviation.

"Bengtsson Come On Over."

It's an abbreviation.

-"Bengtsson Come On Over."
-Exactly.

-Exactly. It's a declaration of love.
-Of course it is.

-It's an abbreviation. She's not dumb.
-No. Ask her out.

-Convince her.
-It'll be a piece of cake.

The circumstances are favorable.

But I have to be smart about it. Clever.

I can't call. It's too banal.

I can't send flowers,
it's too old fashioned.

I can't just go there.

So, the question is how to go about it.

"Shy, conscientious,
26-year-old male seeks sweet

and open-minded female exercise partner.

Gärdet's Squash Hall, 7:30 p.m.
Reply to: 'A Beating Heart.'"

It's absolutely amazing!
I can't believe you came!

-Why?
-Seriously. I'm really happy.

-How's your heart?
-Perfect.

Miss!

-Tomorrow?
-No. The day after tomorrow.

-I'll cook you dinner. It'll be nice.
-I want to see you tomorrow night, too.

-I can't.
-Why not?

I have church choir practice.

-Church choir?
-Yes.

-Are you one of those religious people?
-I'm not religious. I just like to sing.

Likes to sing
and works at a furniture store.

Sounds like a luscious combination.

Boo!

Careful! This thing is sensitive.

-I'll see you on Sunday evening.
-That's a long time from now.

No...

Two whole days! How will I pass the time?

How?

Who would have thought
you had to take out an ad to get a chick?

-What?
-I'm just asking.

Why don't people have parties anymore?

-What?
-Why don't people have parties anymore?

Why don't they go
to each other's houses anymore?

I think that's strange.

I mean, take birthday parties.

Doesn't anyone have birthdays these days?

It doesn't happen anymore.
Think back. People used to have parties.

Really nice parties.

Harvest celebrations,
square dances, scythes and such.

Hayrides and brides,
weddings with violins, the whole thing.

There were parties constantly.

Shit, even funerals were parties.
Even funerals.

Even at funerals they drank and had fun.

What the hell is this?
I mean, compare that to this place.

Look at this place! Look at it!

-But isn't this where people meet?
-Yeah.

Of course they do.
But look at how they meet!

-That's what I'm talking about.
-So, that's what you're talking about?

Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

Okay, I see.

I've been coming here...
I've had friends here for ten years,

and I've never been to their homes.

That sucks!
I don't even know where they live.

Are they ashamed of the wallpaper,
or what's the deal?

Let's go to my house and have a party.

-Why not?
-No, thanks.

-We're good here.
-Damn.

-Won't you come with me?
-No.

Do you want to come
to my house for a party?

-Think he'll find enough people?
-Not even close. He's flying solo.

Do you want to come to a party with me?

-Check out that chick over there.
-Which one?

The blonde one.
She's been sitting there all night.

With one Coca-Cola.

How the hell can she just sit there,
watch guys walk past and drink Coca-Cola?

Be on display like that
for an entire evening?

-Without drinking, without liquid courage.
-Yeah.

It's admirable.

-You don't think I will?
-Nope.

-Want to bet?
-Sure. You're on.

Good luck.

Go with God.

Walk tall.

Bye.

Hi. Can I sit down here a while?

I'm so sore from working out.

-Is that better?
-It's perfect.

A little higher...

Do you want to come home with me?

Fucking hell.

Hey! Let's go to my place.

-Stop it.
-Please. Come with me.

Damn it.

No...

-I'm sorry.
-You're not nervous just because...

Hell, no.

Nope.

It's probably just the wine we drank.

We shouldn't have opened
those last few bottles.

And I'm having a little trouble breathing.

-You are?
-Yeah.

You see...

I have trouble breathing sometimes.

They don't know what causes it.

-Can you breathe now?
-Yeah.

It might be the newspapers.

I'm anxious about getting them out.

-Yeah, that's scary.
-It's important.

Why won't anyone
come to my house for a party?

Come to my party!

Why the hell do I have to go home alone?

None of the bastards thanked me
for inviting them to a party.

Why won't anyone come?!

Hi! Want me to read the paper to you?

Well?

-Weren't we seeing each other tonight?
-Oops!

Am I early?

-Do you want me to stop reading?
-Continue.

-You don't want me to.
-It's interesting.

The Italian League.

"Cagliari - Milan, 0-1."

-Are you listening? What was the score?
-0-1.

Now you know a bit. You have to keep up.

-Want to hear the results in the luge?
-Yeah...

"Luge competition, seniors, 1,100 meters."

"First place, Wolfram Fiedler,
East Germany."

"199.0." That's good, isn't it?

It's good.

"Second place was Horst, Horrrst..."

Did you hear me? "Horst."
That's his name. "Müller."

From East Germany.

-Are you listening?
-Yeah...

Don't close your eyes.

You have to read the paper in the morning.
It's the "morning paper."

-It really is the morning paper.
-I don't have time to listen.

-I have to go to church.
-Do you have to?

I'll see you tonight, right?
I'll cook you dinner.

I'm flirting with my tassel.

You can sleep here if you want.

No, I have to get home.
I had some wine.

Bye!

Sing well...

MILK

Can you forgive me
for coming so early this morning?

-Stop going on about it.
-Surely you can't forgive me.

-Of course I can. You. Are. Forgiven.
-Good!

When you bent over to drink some water,
you had something in your back pocket...

What are you thinking about?

-What are you thinking about?
-Tell me.

-Something's on your mind.
-No, something's on your mind.

Hey...

-Tell me.
-There's nothing to say.

Tell me so I can close my eyes.

-Want to switch brains for a while?
-Sure.

You go first, then I'll go.

Tell me.

Well...

If I ever get pregnant...

...I want it to feel like this.

-Whose is this?
-The landlord's.

-One day...
-Yes. It's genius.

SWEDEN'S PRIME MINISTER
ISN'T TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH

-I have to be at work in an hour.
-No...

-Can't you just not go?
-No...

-Yes.
-How will I make it through an entire day?

BED
BONNY

...70 x 120 centimeters in jacaranda,

which was previously 218 kronor,
can now be yours for 165.

Our "Ceylon" coffee table...

Listen: "Place the cabinet front side up.

Attach the sliding doors.
Mount the front end."

So far, so good.

But starting here...
These two are the easiest, if you start...

If you do, you finish this first
and when you try...

"Align the screw brackets..."
When you get to this part...

That's the part that's missing.
The opposite side is missing.

If you turn these horizontally
it's no problem...

"Place the cabinet front side up.
Attach the sliding doors.

Mount the front end using the connection."
That all makes sense.

See what I mean?

You start from the bottom, right?

Then when you come to the sides,
there's a piece missing from the diagram.

-That's what I need help with.
-I'm sorry.

It's hard to explain. I'm really tired.

I'm so fucking tired!

Bullshit! Of course you're going out.

-I got paid. I'm buying.
-Not tonight.

-Are you going to see her?
-No.

Then what's your problem?

-I'm supposed to take care of you, right?
-I can't do it.

I have to get my shit together.
I can't take it anymore.

-Right now?
-Tonight I'm getting my shit together.

I can't do this. Screw it.

-What?
-I'm leaving.

Where are you going?

-Are you going to see Lena?
-No.

Hi. Lena? It's Lasse.

Can I come up for a while?
I'd like to talk.

Just for a little while. Can I?

Great. I'll be right over. Bye!

-Hi.
-Hi! Hey!

-How are you?
-Fine.

I'm better than last time, anyway.

Want to come over to my place?
For a little while?

-Now?
-Yeah.

Want to?

Well?

-You weren't nervous this time.
-No...

I was drunk the last time.

I was so drunk.

That was really nice.

-But I have to get the papers out.
-Already?

Yeah, I have to go.

It's a pity.

Hi. I'm running a little late.
Can I still come over?

Fine. Will you open the door? Bye.

Thanks.

What is it?

Well...

-There's something I want to tell you.
-What?

It's something
I can only talk to guys about.

-What?
-It is.

You're a girl. It won't work.

Nonsense. Out with it.

I wish you were a guy.

Fine.

What about now? Is this better?

Hey!

I'm a guy!

Get it?

I'm an asshole.

I want you to know that from the start.

-I want to put my cards on the table.
-Oh, dear.

A deceiver.

That's what I am.

I change myself to suit other people.

Because I want everyone to like me.

That makes me a centrist among centrists.

Doesn't matter who it is - change.
Quick and elegant.

Likeable Lasse, who doesn't
take a position on anything, ever.

And I'm afraid of everything.
I'm afraid of getting old.

I'm afraid of getting sick.

I'm afraid of consuming
a bunch of toxins when I eat,

of breathing in a bunch of toxins.

I'm afraid of taking in a bunch of shit
no matter what I do.

I guzzle alcohol, even though
I'm afraid of becoming an alcoholic.

Or because I'm afraid of becoming one.

I smoke even though
I'm afraid of getting cancer.

I do a shitload of stupid things.

I'm afraid to apply for a job,

because I'm afraid I won't get one.

I'm afraid to fail at anything.

I'm afraid of starting a family
and having kids.

At the same time,
I'm afraid of being alone.

I'm afraid of becoming respectable.

I'm afraid of being a 50-year-old hippie
sitting around drinking red wine.

And I'm so fucking afraid I'm not

the charming ladies' man
that I think I am.

So, on occasion I drink a bottle of wine
to rid myself of the paranoia.

You met an asshole. Just so you know.

I really like you.

And yet I just slept with a girl.

Another girl.

Just to prove that I'm a real stud.

I barely know her name.

So we "proved" it for half an hour.

-To make it clear I'm an asshole.
-Enough!

You're not that fucking interesting.

Do you think your weaknesses
are interesting or unusual?

You are so fucking ordinary!

I'm not interested.

I recognize an asshole when I see one.

I'm only telling you because I like you.

Don't think you can make yourself
interesting by shocking me.

You need to leave.

-Please...
-Leave!

Do I need to open the door for you?

What?

I just wanted to tell you.
I wanted you to know.

Goodbye!

HARRY SVENSSON CRUSHED ÖREBRO

Pelle, darling!

Pelle?

-No, I know.
-It'll be over soon.

Driving instructor, nothing.
Music teacher, nothing.

There are only engineering jobs.

No jobs for people
used to running up stairs.

I don't get it.

Mom, you know a lot of people.
What's a good profession for a bachelor?

No strings attached.
Good for 20 or 30 years?

-Well?
-It always works itself out.

Come on. Let's go have coffee. Come on.

What a pain. That's some brother I have.

Making the kid have a birthday party
with a bunch of adults.

-There!
-There she comes!

-Look what I have!
-Is it store-bought? It's store-bought.

Ah!

-Lasse, it's nice you got that.
-Yeah.

It was expensive. Very.

I smoke too much.
Have you applied for a job, Lasse?

-No, why?
-"Why"?

-I asked if you applied for a job.
-There aren't any.

Of course there are.

-There are no journalism jobs.
-Just go to the job center.

It's a matter of will.

You won't find a job
sitting around twiddling your thumbs.

You have to take the initiative.

You have to get motivated,
show some initiative.

Be still. What's this nonsense?

-Do you understand, Lasse?
-Yeah...

Why don't you say something?

Silence never impresses.
Never. I assure you.

An employer
interviewing a silent applicant...

How are they supposed to know
what kind of person you are?

Quiet.

Be quiet. Calm down.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I'm just trying to help you,
I'm just saying it like it is.

I don't need your advice.

I can't believe we're brothers.

-Back me up, Mom and Dad.
-Stop arguing.

Am I wrong?

You can't sit there with your arms crossed
and expect offers to pour in.

You have to seize the opportunities.

Say what you want, and take it!
Don't touch that.

-I want a piece!
-Per...

Please, Per.

Seize the slightest opportunity.
Be mobile, be flexible. You have to...

-Lasse!
-What the hell are you doing?

-I'm "taking" what I want.
-Are you insane?

What the hell are you doing?

-My cake!
-I'm taking what I want.

Mom... Per, behave yourself.

Hello?

Hi!

I have to confess something
I usually only talk to girls about.

I'd really like to see you.

-Beg.
-Boo.

-I'm terrified.
-Boo!

Oh!

-Boo!
-Give it to me.

-Boo!
-Nice!

It's not jubilant enough. Read the text.

Deo dicamus gratias. "Thanks be to God."
It's a song of praise.

Once more from the beginning. Rejoice!

Yeah...

The bed is too narrow.

It's not exactly a double bed.

I haven't heard from you in a month.

And when you call,
all you want is help carrying.

Do you hear me?

Who is this fucking chick?

She must be really fat,
judging by the size of this fucking bed.

Well, at least it's soft.

-You can come and try it sometime.
-Gee, thanks.

Oh, well...

-It's been nice.
-Cut it out.

-Don't you want to see me anymore?
-I don't know.

A man has come between us!

What's the name of the guy she's marrying?

Bertil, I think.

He's some kind of military man.
I've never met him.

It'll be fun getting to know my new dad.

Hey.

This cap that you're always wearing...
I don't like it.

-Can't you wear this instead?
-No! Not that hat.

-Where did that come from?
-It's yours.

I bought it when I was young and dumb.
It's clunky.

It won't work.
A proper winter cap should be red.

It should be ugly,
it should have a tassel,

and you should be able
to pull it down over your ears.

You look silly in that.

I'm supposed to look silly.
I want to look silly in my winter cap.

This one is goofy,
like some kind of decoration.

A cap should be warm,
it should fit and it should be ugly.

-No!
-They're supposed to be ugly!

I refuse to wear this. It's fucking Dior.

-An animal?
-Just for tomorrow.

-It bites!
-Just for tomorrow...

-I don't want it.
-But tomorrow you can...

No. Tomorrow I'm wearing this.

-Hi!
-Hey!

-Hi. Bertil.
-It's been such a long time!

-Bertil, Lena.
-Hi.

-Lasse.
-Hi. Lasse Bengtsson.

Lena's mom.

Cheers!

-I ordered a Ramlösa water.
-Do they have that here?

They should.
There's no carbonation whatsoever.

-No bubbles.
-No, it's tap water.

I always drink Ramlösa. It has iron.

But now they've changed the labels
on these nice old Ramlösa bottles.

-The labels?
-They re-did them.

There was a guarantee on every bottle.

Taste-tested and checked
by Professor Upmark.

-They removed it.
-Removed it?

It's a shame.
You used to know what you were getting.

Isn't there one called "Porla"?

-"Porla"?
-Porla.

-Yeah, "Porla."
-It sounds like a little stream.

-What?
-It's not Ramlösa.

No...

-What do you do, Lasse?
-I drive a taxi.

Job of the future,

as much trouble as people have
moving their legs these days.

It's mostly a side job.

-I thought you were a journalist.
-I am a journalist.

I studied journalism,
but there are no jobs.

-A journalist!
-An unemployed journalist.

Hey.

The stuff they write about the military...

If you wrote something sensible
about our work for a change...

I don't recognize the profession
when I read the papers.

It's a great profession.

Working with human beings.

People. Young people.

You wouldn't have
to go into the military stuff.

You could write about the camaraderie.

About the esprit de corps. It's rare.

Sure... I appreciate the tip.

The community. Camaraderie among men.

You could write about that.

It's important stuff.

-Yes, I could write about the camaraderie.
-Yes!

There are things
I could never talk to my wife about.

-It's true.
-I know...

When a bunch of guys
are sitting around talking,

you find out what they're made of.

Oh, you sure do.

That's where it happens. It's true.

Real camaraderie between men
is something that can never be replaced.

-Real friends.
-You can do it now.

-No. I can't talk to you anymore.
-This is a party...

I don't give a shit if it's a party!
I want to talk to you!

-There are a ton of people here.
-I don't care! I want to talk to you!

-Why?
-Because I'm jealous!

-Come on...
-I am.

Bosse, look...

I don't care
if I'm making a fool of myself.

-I'm so fucking jealous!
-Calm down.

I could just bawl. Don't you understand?

Hey!

-They look so much alike. Who is that?
-Lasse's brother.

He's loaded.

What's going on in here?

-Hi.
-Hi.

Staring at the TV. Party pooper.

What are you watching?

It's a Swedish entertainment show.

Are you drunk?

What's so funny about that?

This is idiotic.

You missed it. You should have seen it
from the beginning.

The entire situation... Here.

He disappeared back there.

There's no real plot.

It's more of a...
It's more of a situation.

If you'd seen it from the beginning
you would've gotten it.

It's really quite funny.

We have to start running again.

-Can we do that?
-Yes!

-Once a week?
-Okay, once a week.

-That's great. Do you promise?
-Yeah!

See how I grab your boob?

Why do I do it? Because I can.

You wanted a party, here's a party.

-So, why aren't you partying?
-I go to parties to communicate.

-Nobody's saying anything.
-They're talking like crazy.

This isn't how it should be.

Nobody talks anymore.
They're just talking shit.

-And singing.
-That's no fun.

Have a drink.

-God, how boring!
-Hey...

-Do you know him well?
-Yeah.

-I don't know what's gotten into him.
-What do you mean?

Moving in with a girl, the old charmer.

Unbelievable.

-He still has his old apartment, right?
-Hell, yeah.

He's not about to give it up.

It won't last, I can tell you.

It's actually pretty funny.

People get up and sing,
take a shot and then say "brompa."

-A fucking plastic cup.
-Brompa!

Yes! He didn't get it. It was bit funny...

When Lasse and I were studying,
we had lots of drinking songs.

We went from "Helan"
to "Lilla Manasses broder."

There were 12 shots in between. There were
a few big drinkers who could handle it.

Do you remember
skitan, räfflan and rafflan?

Yeah.

Being plastered in the taxi
on the way home.

It was the eighth round
of six centiliter shots.

6 times 48.

Talk about feeling the räfflan
when you wake up.

Then we went to the herring breakfast.

On May 1st.
The herring breakfast on May 1st.

-With plastic cups.
-No, not those. Never!

We hand-washed things. We did.

Down at the shack... Chipped...

Things go to hell when you get
a bunch of strangers together.

You're trying... Listen to me!

This isn't how it's supposed to be.

The tight-knit group in the kitchen
is just ignoring everyone.

-Lasse?
-We have Alka-Seltzer.

Lasse, can you call a taxi?

-Hey! B-vitamins!
-No...

-It's good for the central nervous system.
-Taxi.

Who killed Jesus?

It was a Persian.

-His name was Zrokla.
-You know a lot.

His name was Zrokla. He killed Jesus.

He's appearing at the Svea Court
of Appeals on Monday.

-It looks small.
-Are you traveling this year?

-I hope so. Don't you like to travel?
-No. It's meaningless to travel yourself.

-You don't travel?
-No, I try to avoid it.

I don't believe in traveling.
You don't see or learn anything.

When you're abroad,
you can't read the signs.

You don't understand anything.

It's better to stay at home
and read about the countries.

Let a competent person do the traveling
and report back.

-It's true!
-No...

-How do you travel? Charter trip?
-Yes.

I've had a few charter experiences.
I traveled with Sterling Airways.

It was dreadful.

We discussed customs regulations

with the people of Marbella
for two weeks.

-That's a strange place to go.
-That's all we talked about abroad.

We talked about
what we were going to smuggle home.

We sat and calculated
which perfumes they earned the most on.

That was our only interaction.

In the morning,
we planned what to have for lunch.

Then we went home
and planned what to have for dinner.

Otherwise, we just made small
sun-tanning patches for our noses.

It was awful.

-Last night was a success.
-Yeah...

-They left a little early.
-Yeah, but I think they still had fun.

You realize you're middle-aged
when people leave before 3:00 a.m.

-Hey. Why did you say that?
-What?

What you said last night,
when you were looking at your photos.

It was unnecessary.
"Sweden is a good little country."

-Why the hell would you say that?
-What?

"Sweden is a good little country,"
with a blasé sigh afterwards.

As if you've seen the entire world.

Do you have to blurt out things like that?
It was unnecessary.

-I can say what I want.
-Of course you can.

But do you have
to dust off all the old clichés?

-I was so fucking embarrassed.
-I don't know what you're talking about.

Didn't you notice how awkward it was?

Everyone sitting there heard you.

It got really quiet
and you just kept talking.

"Sweden is a good little country."
So blasé.

-Have you traveled the entire world?
-That's so typical.

Why should you be embarrassed
that I'm not perfect?

For your sake.
I thought it was unnecessary.

You're not responsible
for what I do or say.

I have no desire to be some object
you show off to your friends.

"Look how pretty she is.
Listen to the nice things she says."

-"I chose her. Me."
-That's not the point.

You're scared shitless
I'll say the wrong thing,

that your friends will wonder
why in the hell you picked a girl

who says such crazy things.

Stop feeling responsible for me.

I don't care about your stupid friends.

I don't give a shit
what they think about me.

-It doesn't mean much.
-Are you leaving?

I'm going for a walk.

I didn't say
"Sweden is a good little country."

I said, "Sweden is a bit small sometimes."

You did?

-Is that what you said? Is it?
-Yes.

No... Is that really what you said?

-"Sweden is a bit small sometimes."
-Yes.

Shit, Lena! I misunderstood you.

Are you sure that's what you said?
I totally misunderstood you.

Why didn't you say so right away?
That would've saved us a fight.

Can you forgive me?
I thought that's what you said.

Damn!

Boo!

Boo!

SVEA TRAVEL AGENCY

-Does it provide good protection?
-Yes.

-100% effective?
-Yes.

I won't catch anything.

They don't have
any random epidemics down there...

No.

-Nothing's been reported?
-No.

It would have been in the paper.

The travel agency didn't say anything.

Excess weight is expensive.

Don't worry. It's carry-on.

Departure...to Tunisia, gate five.

-Sweden really is a small country.
-Yeah...

-It's a bit small sometimes.
-A small country, sometimes small.

Look here.

From the air, area-wise, it's small.

"From above," as we say in Sweden.
A dreadful little country.

-Tunisia is even smaller. But it's warmer.
-Sometimes...

Hi!

Cheap price for Swedes.
Special price. Understand?

Very good price.

-How much?
-3.50.

No. We can get it in the village for 2.50.

-Mamma mia. It's the same here. 2.50.
-Welcome!

-Just look, not buy.
-Good price.

-Good quality with a stamp.
-Nice colors.

-Lamps for sale!
-Have a look.

-Really nice, good quality.
-Just look.

-It's only 8 kronor.
-It's only 800 kronor.

Old silver. Only costs 100.

-Good customers get good price.
-It costs 3.50. Good quality.

-Do you want to buy this?
-Just look, not buy.

-Buy here. Can talk good price.
-50 kronor.

This is really cheap. 20 kronor.
Really nice, really good.

Come look at rugs. 20% is cheap price.

Half-off rugs.

Chocolate swirl, Swedish girl.
Ask Mom to dance the waltz.

Howdy, partner!

Just look, not buy.

"Just look, not buy."

-"Just look."
-"Not buy."

"Not today. Tomorrow?"

"Buy tomorrow? Tomorrow buy?"

"Come to this stand."

"Come look at my stand."

"Nice things. Stand all day and sell."

"Best stand in Tunisia. Sousse."

"All Swedish girls,
lingonberry twigs and lemonade..."

-Let's go to the hotel.
-No!

We've seen everything.
It's the same stand the whole way.

-Isn't it beautiful?
-Yeah.

It is.

This doesn't feel right.
It doesn't feel romantic.

Lucky I figured it out.
The water's poisoned here.

Do you think it's safe to drink?

A lot of the ice melted.

It smells funny.

It's doing a number on my stomach.

That cocktail yesterday. It had ice in it.
I'm such an idiot.

It really hurts.

I don't know if I'm pissing or shitting.

Can you see
if my diarrhea medicine is old?

It isn't working.

Monsieur.

Lasse!

Take my picture!

Stop messing around.

Lasse! Take a picture!

-I'm going to the bathroom. Wait here.
-Okay. Hurry.

-Is there a bathroom around here?
-Over there.

There? Thanks.

Just look, not buy?

Have a look. Good price. Have a look.
Come in. Always cheap. Welcome.

-What is it?
-I told you. It's a Roman amphitheater.

-It was built during Roman times.
-Oh...

-It's nice.
-It is.

-Take my picture.
-No.

-With this in the background.
-I don't want to.

-Why not?
-I don't want to.

-It's just one picture.
-I don't want to take a picture!

I hate taking pictures!

-Why?
-I don't want to. Get it?

I'm not taking pictures.
I refuse to hold that fucking camera,

to collect photos of memorials
and ruins and such.

There are postcards
of that shit in the stands.

I don't want to look like a tourist.
With a camera like this.

I want to look with my eyes.

I don't want that fucking thing
in front of my eyes.

I hate riding camels
and buying Bedouin hats.

Fezzes and all that shit.
I don't want to be a tourist!

I hate being a tourist.
Just seeing them makes me puke.

Why do you have to constantly look
at life through that fucking camera?

When we have a party
and there are people everywhere,

there you are with your camera
taking pictures.

Can't you have fun instead?

Can't you experience something
for yourself?

You're afraid to hold a camera!
You're afraid!

You're afraid to take a picture,
be a tourist. You're afraid to eat.

-You're afraid of everything!
-Now, I'm--

You're a fucking coward!
You never do anything for me!

-Because I won't take a picture?
-You're afraid of everything!

Afraid and cowardly!

And you talk about experiencing things.

The only thing you experience
is the restroom in different hotels!

I won't do it anymore!

Get a job sometime so you get better!

-It's not about that--
-I'm fucking sick of it!

-Calm down.
-I give up! Screw you!

I can't do it anymore. We're over!

Lena!

Wait!

Calm down!

Lena, wait!

Boo!

Yeah! That's the way!

In with it! Thank you very much!

Nice!

Excellent! Oh, my.

Hey, timid! Pass the ball!

That's it!

I can't. I don't want to.

There's really no point.

But...

Bye.

Make an effort, for the love of god!

Move! What are you standing there for?

Hey, loser!

Fucking coward. Unbelievable.

Damn, he's weak!

Fucking coward. This is terrible.

Keep up, you coward!

You're a coward.
That's exactly what you are.

A fun, funny coward.

But humor allows you to avoid things.

You never take a stand.

I'm sick of your fucking humor.

I don't need some daring superman.

I just want a guy with a little backbone.

Sure we can laugh, but it would have
been nice if we could be serious, too.

When it comes to your illnesses,
suddenly everything is deadly serious.

There's no distance,
no self-deprecation like you usually have.

I just have to listen, to be there.

Can I speak to the editor-in-chief?

He's not available.

Do you have an appointment?

Lasse Bengtsson, journalist.

Here's my application.

Let me know if you have any openings.

There's no point wandering around,
thinking everything will work itself out.

You know what you want to do.

You'd be much healthier
if you applied for a job.

Just the joy of looking for one
would make you healthy for a day.

That you won't move your record player
to my place says a lot.

No commitments,
so you can leave at a moment's notice.

I wouldn't have demanded
a great future with you.

Just a little security.

We had a lot of fun, but I've had enough.

We must often agree with the deniers.

We don't get what we pray for.

Not always.

To act and do what's right.

God is not Santa Claus,
checking off our wish lists.

So we pray in Jesus' name

for the strength to act
and take our own initiative.

Amen.

I need to talk to you.

It doesn't matter what you say.
I'm going to be with you.

-I've made up my mind.
-You're insane.

I'll never talk about illnesses again.

-I won't even get sick. I promise.
-You're crazy.

Lena. I applied for a job.
I applied for a job today.

-You're nuts.
-Lena, look!

Look!

You have to admit, I'm a little brave.

You have to agree.

And next to this pointy fence!
Look! What balance!

You can't say I'm a coward.

Admit it. I'm a little brave.

A tad? Say so. There's nothing I won't do.

I'm strong.

Dashing, brave.

Bold.

Well? I swear.

I'm pretty brave, aren't I?

Before you stands a Titan.

Hermes.

Hercules, Jupiter, a strong person.

You have to agree. Daring.

Watch as I drive
through hairpin curves in my... Ford.

Not an ounce of fear.
I'm daring and fearless.

You know? Things will be as they'll be.

I'll do anything for you. Fly...

Ride my horse.

Check out these back muscles.

You have to agree you met a strong person.

Don't you think I've grown?

A veritable circus artist.

See? I'm doing a backflip.

Well?

And you call me a coward.

I'm strong! You don't think I've changed?

A little...?

It's been about a year
since your last appointment.

-Yeah, it's been about a year.
-How are the heart palpitations?

Fine. They've mostly disappeared.
I don't have them anymore.

-It's been a long time.
-That's great.

-And your stomach?
-It's a little better.

It still acts up now and then.
It still bothers me.

Do you have a job these days?

Not a permanent one. I'm filling in
as a journalist at Upsala Nya Tidning.

-It could turn into something permanent.
-That sounds good.

Be optimistic. Maybe you won't need
to see a doctor in the future.

Yeah, I've gotten over most of it.

Maybe I should prescribe something
for your stomach,

since it was bothering you.

A little...

...behind me before.

-Move in a little closer.
-Stop it!

Everyone look here!

-Look here!
-I said don't!

Pelle!

I have to move further back.

We don't need a special reason.
We're having a party now.

It'll be a bigger party
if you get married.

-I could get married.
-You promise?

Because if you get married,
there will be a huge party.

-You have to get married!
-Of course I do.

You want a bachelor party.

Is that okay?

Lasse!

-Lasse and Bosse, come on!
-We're coming!

Come on!

-Beautiful.
-Everyone laugh.

-Okay!
-Okay!

I know a funny story.

A guy went into a hardware store and said:

"Hello. Do you sell lightning rods?"

And the clerk said,
"No, but we sell zippers."

One more.

-I'm going to be in this one.
-Okay!

Are you ready?

Ten seconds from...

Now!

-Hurry!
-Come on!

-Take another picture.
-I can't. We're out of film.

That's what I'm talking about! Finally!

Is it over?

Can we meet at my house sometime?

Sure!

Subtitle translation by: Sofia Anulf