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1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:02,952
l'm sure she's a lovely girl, Mom. . .
2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,953
. . .but l have a strict policy
against blind dates.
3
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:10,716
Yes, l know l'm not God's gift
to women, but nevertheless.
4
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,516
Oh, come on, how do you know what
she can suck through a garden hose?
5
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:18,516
lt doesn't matter, the policy stands.
6
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,432
Okay, bye.
7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,355
You know, while l applaud
your blind date policy. . .
8
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,910
. . .l would encourage you to consider
a garden hose exemption.
9
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,278
l'm sorry, but you remember
the last time l let Mom fix me up.
10
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,715
Oh, yeah, the enema freak.
11
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,118
She was a colonic irrigation therapist.
12
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,919
Tomato, tomahto.
13
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,955
You still wound up with five gallons
of coffee up your keister.
14
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,232
Not a pleasant memory.
15
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,834
Oh, l can't remember it
without chuckling.
16
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,713
These days they'll open
a Starbucks anywhere.
17
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,998
-Are you done?
-No, wait, one more.
18
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,313
You had the Venti nonfat
crap-puccino. . .
19
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,873
. . .with extra foam.
20
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,798
No, okay, l'm done.
21
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,518
So, what's wrong with the TV?
22
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,269
The storm last night messed up the
satellite dish. l'll call the guy on Monday.
23
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,035
That's your answer for everything.
''Call the guy. ''
24
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,516
Not for everything.
Often, l'll call the girl.
25
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,035
Of course there was the one time
that the girl turned out to be the guy.
26
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,034
Needless to say,
l got a full cash refund.
27
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,671
You don't have to call
the guy this time.
28
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,990
You adjust the dish
till the signal clears up.
29
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,236
Which is what the guy
will do on Monday.
30
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,674
But Jake is coming tonight.
31
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,832
Do you wanna listen to him complain
about the TV all weekend?
32
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,310
l can deal with Jake. lt's your whining
that makes me wanna hang myself.
33
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,199
Come on, help me get the ladder.
34
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,920
l'll go up on the roof
and we'll fix it in five minutes.
35
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,159
l have a ladder?
36
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,676
How did l get a ladder?
37
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,272
For the life of me,
l can't remember buying a ladder.
38
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,392
Well, apparently you did.
39
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,595
But why?
40
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,354
-And how did l get it home?
-l really couldn't tell you.
41
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,113
Did l rent a truck?
42
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,029
Who knows?
43
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,073
l'm telling you,
we got a real mystery on our hands.
44
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,437
Yeah, it's a puzzler.
45
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,670
Now, l'm gonna go up
and adjust the dish. . .
46
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,071
. . .and you go look at the TV
and tell me when the picture improves.
47
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,389
All right.
48
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,278
l still think we should call the guy.
49
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,192
Will you forget the guy?
50
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,588
l'm the guy.
51
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,036
-Charlie.
-Yeah?
52
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,952
There's a pair of panties up here.
53
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,678
Of course, the ladder.
54
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,390
-Alan, mystery solved.
-What?
55
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,877
Never mind. Focus on the job at hand.
56
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,110
-Are you watching the TV?
-Yes.
57
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,269
How does it look now?
58
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,914
lt's a little better.
59
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,115
How about now?
60
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,639
No, no, no. That's worse.
61
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,637
-Move it the other way.
-What?
62
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,711
l said, move it the other way.
63
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,474
-There, there, there. That's perfect.
-What?
64
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,358
l said that's perfect.
65
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,318
Great. Coming down.
66
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,037
Did you say something?
67
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,474
l told you.
We should have called the guy.
68
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,433
Oh, you wanna flip me the bird,
but the poor little fellow can't fly.
69
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,599
Just help me lie down.
70
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,429
-There is a bright side here, you know.
-Oh, really?
71
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,599
Really? And what might the
bright side be? Handicapped parking?
72
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,076
Pity sex?
73
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,637
You know, l can see there's gonna be
no talking to you about this.
74
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,997
Oh, do me a favor and call Judith
and tell her not to bring Jake over.
75
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,633
How come?
76
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,029
Look at me, Charlie.
77
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,351
l have abrasions, contusions,
a severely sprained neck. . .
78
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,517
. . .two fractured fingers,
and l'm hopped up on pain pills.
79
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,910
Does that spell weekend dad to you?
80
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,274
Actually, to me it spells:
81
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,874
''Weekend in Bangkok
with two Olympic gymnasts. ''
82
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,550
But that's a whole other story.
83
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,591
Look, l got no plans for the weekend.
l could take care of Jake.
84
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,116
-Bangkok?
-lt was the '80s.
85
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,508
A simpler time.
86
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,029
The dollar was strong.
87
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,993
l was looking forward to hanging out
with the knucklehead.
88
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,593
Let him come over.
89
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,115
l can't help you.
What will you do all weekend?
90
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,236
l don't know.
Hey, maybe l'll get a chute.
91
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,709
We could play Chutes and Ladders.
92
00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,669
You see. See, that's why l want Jake
here. He has a sense of humor.
93
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,308
Oh, all right.
lf you think you can handle it.
94
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,198
Don't worry,
l got everything covered.
95
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,913
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
96
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,150
ls there anything l can do
for you now?
97
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,595
Well, l gotta pee.
98
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,513
Yeah, so?
99
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,877
So l can't undo my pants. . .
100
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,838
. . .or anything.
101
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,511
Where are we headed with this, Alan?
102
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,469
You said you'd help me.
103
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,915
l was thinking like
l could make you a sandwich.
104
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,469
-Charlie!
-Hey, l am not reaching into your pants.
105
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,955
Well, what am l supposed to do?
106
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,758
Go stand in the surf.
107
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,753
Come on, grow up.
108
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,797
-Where are you going?
-To the bathroom.
109
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,234
Now, come on and unzip me.
110
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,631
Just like that? Right to it?
No dinner? No movie?
111
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,392
Charlie!
112
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,792
Hold on.
113
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,992
Coming.
114
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,719
Holy God.
115
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:23,029
Charlie, can you get the door?
116
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:25,995
Charlie?
117
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,678
Hang on.
118
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,916
Charlie!
119
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:39,118
Oh, great,
l think l just punctured a lung.
120
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,750
''Don't worry, Alan.
l've got everything covered. ''
121
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,789
l'm coming.
122
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,355
You need to start your report
this weekend.
123
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,431
Why?
lt's not due till next Wednesday.
124
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,790
-l've plenty of time.
-You said that last time.
125
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,439
-No, l didn't.
-Yes, you did.
126
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,716
l think you're getting senile.
127
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,119
Watch your mouth, young man.
128
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,953
l can't watch it. lt's under my nose.
129
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,670
-Hello.
-What happened to you?
130
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,318
Well, most recently,
l was hit in the head by a door.
131
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,678
But before that, l was fixing
the satellite dish on the roof. . .
132
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,512
. . .and l kind of fell.
133
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,312
Why didn't you just call the guy?
134
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,710
For God's sake, Alan, how do you intend
to look after him this weekend?
135
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:57,351
l am in excruciating pain,
but l appreciate your concern.
136
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,872
Oh, well, you could've picked up
a phone and given me a heads up.
137
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,234
Pick up the phone?
138
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,790
Judith, l needed barbecue tongs
to take a leak.
139
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,358
Can you look after Jake or not?
140
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,670
-Charlie said he'd look after him.
-Like hell.
141
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,395
There's no way l'll let your degenerate
brother be responsible for my son.
142
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,039
Sure, don't ask me what l want.
143
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,909
Just boss me around
like you're my boss or something.
144
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,391
Charlie will be fine.
Have a good weekend.
145
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,428
Thanks.
146
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,952
You too.
147
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,949
Hey, can we go out to dinner tonight?
148
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,429
Do l look like l'm in any shape
to go to dinner?
149
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,034
l don't know. l'm not a doctor.
150
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,556
-The answer is no.
-Okay.
151
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,512
Then can we go to the video store
and rent the new ''Final Fantasy''?
152
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,274
Jake, l hurt myself.
l'm in a lot of pain.
153
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,671
So? When l took a soccer ball
to the nads, l was in a lot of pain. . .
154
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,513
. . .and all my coach said was,
''Walk it off. ''
155
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,636
Well, you can't just walk this off.
156
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,518
Not with that attitude.
157
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,511
Hey, there he is.
How's it going, buddy?
158
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,029
My life stinks.
159
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,758
Cheer up, you're still a kid.
160
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,150
lt's gonna get much worse.
161
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,431
-Where have you been?
-Taking a nap.
162
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,271
-Why?
-l find it refreshes me.
163
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,635
You said you were gonna take care
of everything.
164
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,994
Yeah, so?
165
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,799
So while you were sleeping,
l had to answer the door.
166
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,599
Do you realize how petty
you sound right now?
167
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,118
-Relax, lie down, l got it covered.
-No, you don't.
168
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,158
Nothing is covered. lt's all coverless.
169
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,873
Now, there is a life that stinks.
170
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,752
What's the agenda?
What do you want?
171
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,390
-l wanna go out to dinner.
-Yeah, well, l want my own talk show.
172
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:41,788
You'll eat what we've got.
173
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,109
Why can't we go out?
174
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,634
Alan, l can't deal with this.
Talk to your son.
175
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,677
That's it? You're done covering?
176
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,070
l didn't know
he was gonna be impossible.
177
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,596
-Don't talk about me like l'm not here.
-Keep yapping and you won't be.
178
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,710
-Charlie, just take him to dinner.
-Why should l?
179
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,751
He's not gonna shut up till he gets it.
180
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,751
That's true. l'll drive you crazy.
181
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,073
Yeah, well, do your worst.
182
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,629
lf we go out to dinner,
there's nothing to clean up.
183
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,869
We're not going out.
184
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,560
-You usually wanna go out to dinner.
-Not tonight.
185
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,150
You're not punishing me,
you're just punishing yourself.
186
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,550
Back off, bobblehead.
187
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,278
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
188
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,237
-We're not going.
-Why not?
189
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,870
-This conversation's over.
-Not if l keep talking.
190
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,238
So where do you wanna eat?
191
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,715
Clucky's.
192
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,589
What's Clucky's?
193
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,193
Zesty fire-roasted chicken. . .
194
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,676
. . .with Grandma Clucky's
secret herbs and spices.
195
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,071
All right, where is it?
196
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,515
There's several convenient locations.
197
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:46,908
Like where?
198
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,758
l don't know. l just sit in the car.
199
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,792
l've never seen a Clucky's here.
200
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,029
-How about a pizza?
-No.
201
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,189
-Burgers?
-No.
202
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,349
Sushi?
203
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,033
-ltalian? Chinese?
-No.
204
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,189
-Clucky's?
-No.
205
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:58,554
You're not even listening.
206
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,233
l mean yes.
207
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,833
Clucky's.
208
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,276
l'm not driving all over the city
hoping to stumble across a Clucky's.
209
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,556
This isn't the Clucky's my mom
takes me to.
210
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,073
No kidding.
211
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,673
Where are we anyway?
212
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,951
lt's called Watts.
213
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,954
Hurry up and finish your chicken.
214
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,678
l like the Cajun Clucky's better.
215
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,909
Good for you.
216
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,152
-Can l go back and get Cajun Clucky's?
-No, eat what you got.
217
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,756
-But l like the Cajun Clucky's.
-Why did you order the regular Clucky's?
218
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,070
Because l forgot
l like the Cajun Clucky's.
219
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,471
Oh, just eat the freaking chicken.
220
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,519
Fine.
221
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,876
Why do you say freaking?
l know what you mean.
222
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,235
-l'm not a little kid anymore.
-Eat.
223
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,879
Don't talk. Eat!
224
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,758
What's up?
225
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,678
l gotta pee.
226
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,396
Charlie, get the tongs.
227
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,471
Charlie?
228
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,637
Gotta pee, gotta pee,
Gotta pee, pee, pee
229
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,074
Gotta pee, pee, pee
230
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,629
Gotta pee, gotta pee,
Gotta pee, pee, pee, gotta pee
231
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,997
Alan, l've got somebody
who wants to meet you.
232
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,557
Not a good time, Mom.
233
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,117
Yes, l can see that.
234
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,395
Are you all right?
235
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,470
No, not really.
236
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,669
Oh, my poor baby.
237
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,195
Well, anyway, Mona, Alan.
238
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,429
Alan, Mona.
239
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,873
Hi, Mona.
240
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,828
Hello. What happened to you?
241
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,272
l was fixing a satellite dish
and l fell off the roof.
242
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,870
Well, why didn't you just call the guy?
243
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,596
You wanna know
why l didn't call the guy?
244
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,796
l'll tell you why l didn't call the guy.
245
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,791
Because you don't need
to call the guy.
246
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,349
lt's a simple adjustment
that any idiot can do.
247
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,829
And, yes, l know,
this idiot fell off the roof. . .
248
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:35,233
. . .but it was after l fixed it
all by myself, no guy.
249
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,511
Okay, the ice has been broken.
l'll just give you Mona's number. . .
250
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:42,399
. . .and you can call her some time
when it's more convenient.
251
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:43,629
Come along, dear.
252
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,831
Do you just stay awake nights. . .
253
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,349
. . .trying to think of new ways
to embarrass me?
254
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,439
Still gotta pee.
255
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,238
Oh, God.
256
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,795
Oh, what the hell.
257
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,469
Oh, yeah.
The Cajun Clucky's is way better.
258
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,513
l'll notify Zagats.
259
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,834
Before we stop at the video store,
can we get ice cream?
260
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,390
-Who said we're stopping?
-l wanna rent the new ''Final Fantasy. ''
261
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,471
Yeah, well, l want my
$80,000 Mercedes. . .
262
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,750
. . .not to smell like chicken.
263
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,990
But life is full
of little disappointments.
264
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,197
Okay, forget the ice cream.
We'll just stop at the video store.
265
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,715
Jake, l'm tired, l've got a headache.
266
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,634
l just paid $ 1 00 to get
my car back from the ''chicken valet. ''
267
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,273
And l wanna go home.
268
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,035
Please?
269
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,794
l'm sorry. What part of no
did you not understand?
270
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,712
The ''nnn'' or the ''ooo''?
271
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,715
How about if we stop
in front of the store. . .
272
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,713
. . .l'll run in, get the video game,
and you wait in the car?
273
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,791
How about we stop
by the video store. . .
274
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,155
. . .and l just stuff you
through the return slot?
275
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:58,795
l wouldn't fit.
276
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,757
Try me.
277
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,070
Oh, come on,
it will only take a minute.
278
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,516
You might be able to bully your parents
into doing whatever you want. . .
279
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,238
. . .but when l say no, that's it.
280
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,437
Okay. Then l guess l won't have
a video game to play this weekend.
281
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,710
Exactly.
You'll find something else to do.
282
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,916
Right. lt will just be you and me.
283
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,839
-They're all out of ''Final Fantasy. ''
-So get something else.
284
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,877
But l want ''Final Fantasy. ''
285
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,031
Are you telling me that out
of this store. . .
286
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,079
. . .thousands of movies and video games,
there's nothing here that interests you?
287
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,117
You're not gonna like the answer.
288
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,518
l'm having chest pains.
289
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,675
You're giving me chest pains.
290
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,828
l bet they have ''Final Fantasy''
at another store.
291
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,394
You want a final fantasy?
292
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,195
Close your eyes and imagine yourself
flying across a freaking video store. . .
293
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,316
. . .because that's what's about
to happen.
294
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,833
Again with the freaking.
295
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,951
Excuse me, but did l hear you say
you were looking for ''Final Fantasy''?
296
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,476
l was about to return one,
you can have it.
297
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,119
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
298
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:07,633
-Oh, he's really something, isn't he?
-Oh, yeah, he's something.
299
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,274
The question is, what?
300
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,473
l have a boy his age.
301
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,278
-Single mom.
-Single uncle.
302
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,229
-Betsy.
-Charlie.
303
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,430
-Jake.
-Nobody asked you.
304
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,436
Betsy, maybe we can get
the boys together. . .
305
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,238
. . .for a little play date some time.
306
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,709
l don't want a play date
with some stupid kid. . .
307
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,632
. . .just so you can have sex with her.
308
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,148
lsn't he something?
309
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,314
Yeah. Well, it was nice meeting you.
310
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,873
Bye-bye.
311
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,875
What?
312
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,234
Are you happy?
313
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,913
Pretty much. You?
314
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,030
Hello.
315
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,756
''Controlled substance.
316
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:33,277
Do not exceed one pill
every six hours. ''
317
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,192
Yeah, right.
318
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,315
What fresh childproof hell is this?
319
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,069
Come on, you bastard.
320
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,832
Yes.
321
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,676
-What are we doing?
-l'm taking you back to your mother.
322
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,789
Why?
323
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,589
Why? l'll tell you why.
324
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,194
Because you're no fun anymore.
325
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,715
Because the whole
''isn't he cute'' thing is over.
326
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,037
l tell you, if this is a prelude
to what you'll be as a teenager. . .
327
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,077
. . .then we've got a serious problem.
328
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,709
Whatever.
329
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,630
You see, right there,
that attitude does not fly with me.
330
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,392
Whatever.
331
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,111
God, l hope that's the chicken.
332
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,033
She's not home.
333
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,552
Do not ''ha-ha'' me.
334
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,358
Never ''ha-ha'' me.
335
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,078
Judith, come get your kid.
336
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,476
Don't hide behind the couch.
337
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,949
l can see you, Judith.
338
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,836
Hey, how about some ice cream?
339
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,709
Sure.
340
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,955
Listen, l'm sorry l lost my temper.
341
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:27,032
Sorry you slipped in dog crap
chasing me.
342
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,993
Thank you.
343
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,752
Now, you know that l love you. . .
344
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,037
. . .but we gotta be clear
on a couple of things.
345
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,589
l get that you're growing up,
your body's changing. . .
346
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,079
. . .your emotions are in flux.
347
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:45,479
But the important thing you need to keep
in mind is that l don't care.
348
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,915
When you're in my house,
when you're out with me. . .
349
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,071
. . .and especially
when we're around women. . .
350
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,800
. . .you will be adorable, got it?
351
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,993
l'm trying to concentrate.
352
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,239
Don't shush me. Never shush me.
353
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,629
Whatever.
354
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,469
Please be the chicken.
355
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,675
Pour me one of those, will you?
356
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,949
You know, mixing those pills
with alcohol is a really bad idea.
357
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,434
Not if you're trying to die.
358
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,159
Hey, how many of those pills
you got left?
359
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,231
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360
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,391
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