All language subtitles for Psych.2.Lassie.Come.Home.2020.1080p

- Dad?
- Yes, Carlton?

There's something I gotta know,

and I don't want you to spare
my feelings. I can handle the truth.

Okay, son. You have my
word. What's on your mind?

When I grow up, will I be
able to grow a beard like that?

You're a Lassiter,

and Lassiter men have been growing
legendary face wigs for generations.

It's a king's beard, born in your
blood, perfected through centuries.

But never forget, it's not the
beard that makes the king.

I know, I know.
It's the queen.

That's right, son.

We're almost there.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad, where are you?

Don't leave me!
Dad!

This is Chief
Lassiter. Shots fired. I'm down.

I have been ambushed
and shot multiple times.

I need backup. Immediately!

Hold it.

Please, I have a family.

Carlton, do you even
remember why you're here?

Think, son. Think.

We have an officer down.
All units respond.

2016 Arkenstone Road.
Situation critical.

Suspect still at large.
Approach with extreme caution.

Surprise!

Surprise! Surprise!

What is wrong with you two?

Check it out.

What is that?

That is a gift for you.

Meet Morrissey the rescue dog,

here to rescue you
from your own handsomeness.

That dog's Chief Vick's.
He was.

He kept biting her daughter.

Affection gnawing
is what the vet called it.

He called it rabies, Shawn.

Either way, the chief, Gus and I
have come to a little agreement.

She set him loose in my
office and sped away in her car.

Then you called us
to come down here

and the whole thing
just felt like a win-win.

That dog is eating my foot.

- Morrissey!
- Stop it. Stop it.

Excuse me.

Carlton, I didn't realize
you had visitors.

Sorry, no pets.

Pets? I'm sorry, I... Pets?

That's Morrissey.
He's a therapy dog.

Does he have a vest?

He does, though he
prefers to call it a waistcoat.

I think you'll find
it all checks out.

This an old Theraflu T-shirt with
tape over the "flu" and "py" in Sharpie.

You're good.

One point for you, Dolores.

My name is Shawn Spencer,

and this is my partner
Bill Poopingtons.

No. Shawn?
What?

Sidebar.
All right.

Carlton, what is happening
right now?

Let it go.
Yes.

Bill Poopingtons?

What kind of nickname is that?

Transylvania Dutch. Why?

No, Shawn. No more
embarrassing nicknames,

especially in front
of peers and professionals.

Gus, don't be the night your
dad fell asleep inside your mom.

We can't just stop doing bits
we've been doing for ten years.

We have fans, they have
expectations. There'll be a huge backlash.

Shawn, we are two dumb asses.
We do not have fans.

From now on, I do the nicknames.

No, no, no. Absolutely
not. That's disgusting.

Counterproposal.

You have right of refusal
until we land on one you like.

It's a Band-Aid,
but okay for now.

I'm terribly sorry,
Dolores. What I meant to say was,

my name is Shawn Spencer,
and this is my full-fledged partner,

All-The-Pips-In-One.

Accepted. Hello!
All right.

Could you fellas take
a little walk with me?

Lassie, is
that what I think it is?

Guys, I love animals,

but I'm sure you know what a
prestigious place the Herschel House is.

We do, but let me just say,

although the dog
is not fully certified

and ate one of the two gas pedals
in our car on the way down here...

Two what? ...we had
hoped that this visit alone

would start to help Carlton
heal his tangled memories.

He's... He's a tough man with the
thick skin of a northern white rhino,

but the heart of a smaller,

less-white rhino.

I know, and you're right.

It's Burton,

but you can call me Jermajesty
or whatever you like, Dolores.

Well, Jermajesty,

I am gonna kick myself
for falling prey to a dapper,

smooth-talking, devil's food
cookie with a perfect cranium.

But I'll make the exception.

Dapper and smooth-talking,
that doesn't sound right.

Mr. Wilkerson,
beautiful day.

Okay, dog stays,

but he's on a very short leash.

And, in exchange, you guys
can tell me why you're really here.

Damn, she's good.
All right. Yeah.

Lassie called us last night.

He's, seeing things.

Ghosts.
Not necessarily ghosts.

But probably ghosts.

There's a lot of strange
stuff going on around here.

Eerie voices in pipes,

bodies being dragged out
into the woods at night,

black Jell-O.

We're checking to see if this joint
was built on an Indian burial ground.

All right. It was built
on an old Kmart,

and he's never mentioned
a word of this to me.

That's because he doesn't
want anyone to know.

We've sworn to silence.

Shawn can't tell his wife.

My girlfriend thinks
I'm working a double shift.

I can't even take her calls.

Well, you can't take her calls
because you downloaded a rogue app

that changes all of your
emojis into little Jamaicans.

Seventeen viruses.
I see.

So, you have a girlfriend? I do.

Dolores, I'm gonna be
honest with you.

I only said black Jell-O

because that was Gus' nickname
in our adult dodge ball league.

And Lassie's
terrified that he's going crazy.

Anyone finds out, it could
cost him his job, his dignity,

maybe even his family.

Carlton doesn't even remember why
he went to that abandoned building.

His only recollection of
his shooter is a silhouette.

He's on nine different
medications,

and as you both know, he
suffered a stroke during surgery.

So, of course,
he's seeing things.

But feeding into these fantasies

is the least helpful thing
you can do right now. Okay?

I know this goofy little white
guy, sexy black dude routine

the two of you have going
like the back of my scrubs.

But you really wanna help,

just be the grown men
that you are.

Okay, what is going on
here? What, Dolores?

The nurse from Color of
Night fawning all over you.

I don't know,
maybe she's attractive

but, Shawn, I'm with Selene now.

I can't keep track of every shorty
that wants what they can't have.

Where the hell
have you two been?

Sorry, Lassie. We were
on our way up the stairs

when Gus spotted a Jamba
right across the street.

We made it happen.
Where's the dog?

He jumped out the window the
second you walked out the door,

took my Jell-O, and ran
straight into the woods.

That makes sense.

He is a hunter-gatherer
of the highest order.

That wasn't the last Jell-O,
though, was it?

Doesn't matter.
We don't need the dog.

Lassie, I'm gonna
cut to the chase.

It's gonna be
a hard pass for us.

We simply cannot keep lying to our ladies
to cover up your spooky ghost sightings.

Okay? It's too hard.

They know each other.

We're grown men with real
pubes. Let me give you a visual.

You remember Eddie
Murphy's mustache in Raw?

Well, that's what Gus has
going on right over the twig.

Now, look, whatever you
think you're seeing, it's up here.

You've been through a lot

and hospitals are creepy,
even super luxurious ones.

Trust me on this, man.

You're just really high.

High.

Shawn.

What's in that dog's mouth?

Gus, please.

It's nothing
more than a human hand.

My God!
It's a human hand!

And it's covered
in leaves and moss

and it's human and it is a hand.

I'm gonna have to call my wife.

I'm gonna have to lie again.

Lassie, we're in.

Of course you're in, you morons.
There's a hand in your hand.

Go ahead, Gus.

Knuck it up softly.

Get that dead hand
away from me, Shawn.

In between
the lines there's a lot of obscurity

I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity

If it's all right
then you're all wrong

But why bounce around
to the same damn song?

You'd rather run
when you can't crawl

I know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end

Shawn, I don't like this.

Gus, you heard Lassie.

We need to get this hand
to Woody ASAP.

If it's ASAP, why did we stop
first at Pokey Jack's Smoky Shack?

Because I'm not an animal, Gus.

Either way, it says
right there on the wall

we're not allowed
to ship living material.

Well, if this hand
was still living,

that would be inappropriate,
but it's not.

Now, we need our gear

if we're gonna find the rest of
this body before we drive home.

All of our stuff is back
in Psychphrancisco.

Or is it?

You wanna bumble with the bee?

He cooled down.
Yeah.

Gus, we're home.

Give me some Chewie.

It's getting better.

Are we on
the same page right now?

Yes, alternative Spider-Verse.

No.

Bienvenue au Litiere.

Santa Barbara's only
pop-up cat restaurant.

Sure.
Of course.

A cat-fe.
How nice.

Do your parents
know you're doing this?

What? How old
do you think I am?

Nine.
Forty-one.

Forty-one? Like
the girl from Orphan.

Congrats, business is booming.

We don't open
for another 15 minutes.

So, the cats
aren't the customers?

Who the hell are you guys?

I'm Shawn Spencer, this is
my partner Ding Dong Ditch.

Nope. Claude O'Dirt.

Big Poppa Pump?
Warmer.

- Lemona-lemon a-lemon a-lime.
- Hello.

How did either of you
reach adulthood?

Don't worry, you will too as long
as you keep taking your vitamins.

Okay. I am not a child.
What do you want?

Isn't it obvious? We want
love. And companionship.

And the end of the ivory trade.

But most importantly, we wanna
know what you think you're doing

opening a cat-feteria
in our office.

Well, I am a legit entrepreneur,
and I rented this space,

and it's mine
for the next 19 days.

Those are for cats.

I see.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest
with you guys.

I am in a real Dickens of a stare
down with the health department,

so I'm gonna need you
to get to the point.

All right, here's the nutshell.

I'm a psychic.

He is a sympathetic pooper.

We're back to retrieve
dozens of detectiving tools

that we've stashed in the
walls, ceiling, and air ducts.

And that may require
punching a hole or five.

Well, you're gonna need to
take that up with the landlord,

and he's not gonna like it.

Back there.
Thank you, old woman.

Or young child,
whichever you may be.

What do you want? Hi.

Looking for approval
to destroy your drywall

and possibly remove
your air conditioner.

No. Bug off.

"Bug off"?

Sir, if you would just allow
me to explain the magnitude...

No.

You know, wait, hold on.
Back up.

We can't help but be disturbed by
how low the register of your voice is.

You're clearly putting on
some sort of bellowed timbre.

This is not a timbre.

It just got lower.

It's the same voice.
So, you admit it's a voice?

Yeah, who are you doing?
Tom Waits?

Kathleen Turner? Diedrich
Bader? Harvey Fierstein?

Shawn.

Get in here. Dad?

How in the hell could you
afford to buy the Psych office?

I didn't buy anything.

You neglected to tell
your landlord

that you were moving.

What? I simply
picked up the payments

and started subletting to every
hipster pop-up coming into town.

I'm literally rolling
in disposable income,

tax free.

This seems illegal.

Why are you bothering
my tenants?

We may have left behind
a few items when we moved.

You left behind a slow cooker
with a three-pound roast in it.

You nearly This ls Us-ed
the entire block.

This ls Us? Dad, why are
you watching that show?

They have the same show
on ABC, but newer.

What do you want?

This is embarrassing,

but I think I'm allergic to
these cats.

Not my problem.
Well...

Look, Dad,
this is a Lassie mystery.

The stakes are, possibly,
life and death,

which means I need
my night-vision goggles

and my collection of mustaches

in order to snoop around
undetected.

Will you please help us?

For Lassie?

Of course.

You're using the voice again.

Surprise!

I can see
all your teeth, O'Hara.

Like, all of them.

I'm sorry. I'm just
inappropriately giddy to see you.

Wait a minute.
It's not Monday.

Why are you here?

Carlton, you are
absolutely paranoid.

I miss you.

Really?

Okay, fine.

Truth is, I snuck out this
morning when I saw this.

Is that Conway Twitty?

This is Reese Kessler,

the monster who shot you
in cold blood six times.

They picked him up yesterday,
made a full confession,

waived his right to an attorney.

Still ironing out a few
details, but it smells like...

What?
Nothing.

I know that face.

Is this not the guy?

I don't know. Believe me.
I wish I did.

I don't remember.
I'm working on it.

But maybe the reason
you're making that face

is because this is not
the right person.

Look, the truth is,
I didn't come down here

all the way from San Francisco
just to be a messenger.

I came down here

because he doesn't mention
a second gun in his confession,

and I know they never
found a slug for it,

but I know there's a bullet
missing from the crime scene.

O'Hara, you've already been
reprimanded twice to stay off this case.

Please stop jeopardizing
your career.

Look, I just wanna help.

"Help"? Great!

There you go.

That's a grocery list.

Untrue.
There's also some errands.

There are 93 of them.

Yeah, so it shouldn't
take you that long.

Gus, we've got
everything we need right here.

Best damn tracking dog in the
history of Half Moon Bay Animal Shelter.

Morrissey already
found the hand.

Now he will meticulously
sniff this entire place

and lead us directly
to the rest of the body.

Morrissey, take a sniff of this.

Now, watch and learn.

I probably should have
left the leash on. You think?

Damn, he cleared
the horizon quickly.

You are the strongest
person I know.

Nah.
Yeah.

And I am watching you get
stronger every single day.

And I love you.

And I don't know what
I would do without you.

And I will be back on Monday

for our regularly
scheduled visit

with a completed errand list

and seven pounds
of Ghirardelli chocolate.

Okay.

And I almost forgot...

What?

I thought you might want it

so you never forget.

And I promise next time I
am here, zero police talk.

Unless, of course, you wanna talk
about putting a guard outside your door.

Deal?
Deal.

We've gotta be honest
with each other.

Why is Morrissey's dish here?

Whose what?

Shawn, we've been lost for an
hour. That dog's never coming back.

Babe of all babes.

I can't believe
you're in Santa Barbara. What?

I can explain, babe.
I was just trying to help.

Please don't.
Just stop.

I'm here too. I need to
talk to you about dinner.

Right, dinner.
Cancel.

I'm not gonna cancel.

I think we should cancel.

No, we're not gonna cancel.
Don't be silly.

I already have something
in motion that's amazing.

And tonight's gonna be a
night we remember forever.

Okay. I'm just...
I'm stuck at the airport,

and I may need
a little extra time,

so maybe we should just...
Hey, what you said is perfect.

I'll see you tonight.
I love you.

She was giving you an out.
She sounded really strange, Gus.

- Like Lupita in Us?
- No.

Well, which one?
Tethered.

No, not that strange.

Just feel like I really
let her down this time.

You're protecting Lassie.
He begged us not to tell her.

It doesn't matter, Gus.

I can't keep sneaking around
and lying like this anymore.

She's probably sitting at
the airport all misty-eyed,

wondering if I'll ever be the truthful
grown-ass man she deserves.

What am I...
Let's go home.

This
is Chief Lassiter. Shots fired. I'm down.

I have been ambushed
and shot multiple times.

We have an officer down.
All units respond.

Situation critical.

They never found the slug for it.

There's a bullet missing
from the crime scene.

I didn't see anything!

Don't shoot.
I'm not gonna hurt you.

Okay. I'm sorry. I
shouldn't have come back.

Look, you need
medical attention.

And I need that bullet
in your leg.

She's later than us. Go!

Dude!
Go, do it!

She'll be here any second,
man. Make it romantic.

I'll plate the dinners.
You set the mood.

Next-level petaling, Gus.

Shawn, why did you choose the menu
from A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving?

Because it's the only thing
they had at the gas station, Gus.

Come on, son.

Don't answer that.

I couldn't if I wanted to.
My phone is even worse now.

None of the buttons are working.

Well, we reap what we sow.

She's coming.
Okay! I gotta get the candles.

You sneak down
the fire escape. Cool.

Wait, fire escape?

I am really proud of how
you've handled all of this.

It was big of you to
bail on Lassiter's case,

especially with goblins
on the table.

Thank you. But I also
know that you're not sold

on the guy who confessed
to shooting Lassie.

But, babe, your neck is
way out there on this one.

Shawn Spencer,

are you the one worried about me
sniffing around where I shouldn't be?

That's right. Feels good to
be the adult in this relationship.

Just this once.
Yeah.

Seriously, though, please promise me
that you'll let the locals handle this one.

Of course.
Of course.

That being said,
I'm gonna take this list.

I'm gonna do all these
errands for you, which include

"polishing Lassie's rod."

But first, I'm gonna wrap both of
us in your favorite green Snuggie.

And we're going
to be in there for a while.

It's in the big dresser
drawer with all the bedding!

What are you doing?

That fire
escape was steep, Shawn.

Come on, man.
It's been a couple of hours.

Look, I told her all afternoon
that you were gonna be gone.

Now you've turned me
into a liar again.

You were a liar.
Your dad's a liar.

Did you tell her
about the hand? No.

Because the hand is not important
because we're off the case.

Now give me this damn Snuggie.

Get your own damn Snuggie.
This is my damn...

What's that?

Nothing, hon.

Hey, babe.

It's weird. I can't find the
Snuggie. But you know what?

We don't need that
particular Snuggie because...

Is that Gus's ringtone?

That is Gus's ringtone,
isn't it?

He must have left his
phone here, silly black goose.

I just remembered
where the Snuggie is.

It's in the bedroom,
but it's deep.

I think there's a depth to it.

Will you go look for it?

You wanna see who's calling, so you
can decide whether or not to pick it up.

Will you marry me?
Only if we can have

toast and jelly beans
for dinner every night.

Deal. This is it.
That's where it's at.

This is home base.
Okay. Yep.

Good God, man, turn that off.

I'm trying.
It's Woody.

Well, answer it.
He's got the hand.

I thought you said
the hand wasn't important.

Where did you get
a Nutri-Grain bar?

Don't worry about that, Shawn.

Guys, first of all, thank you
for the delicious smoked meats.

He ate the hand?
He didn't eat the hand.

I put some smoked meats
in with the hand.

Why would you do that?
Because it was $26 to mail the box

whether it was full or not, Gus.

So, I thought you of all people
could appreciate that level of frugality.

Woody? I have good
news and I have bad news.

The venison, scrumptious!

Also, there was a usable print
on one of the dead guy's fingers.

I got a name for the victim.

Some hotshot manufacturing CEO
named Devon Tileback.

Tileback. Okay, okay.
What's the bad news?

Shawn, the buffalo was chewy.
Tasted a little bit like fingernails.

That makes sense.
It was actually tofuffalo.

Tofuffalo. Okay.

Damn it, now we've got a real
murder case and a real victim.

No. No, no, no. He wasn't
murdered or dissolved by a witch.

He committed suicide.

Suicide?
Yeah, about a week ago.

Jumped off a bridge
into the Santa Ynez River.

Body was never found until
now, I guess.

Luka, no. No, sweetie.

Butterfly's baby is playing
with a spleen again.

I should go.
Yeah, you should.

Well, this is great. There's
no ghost.

It's open-and-shut.
We're off the hook.

No, Gus, this is bad.

The suicide, the hand
turning up behind the hospital

where Lassie's seeing ghosts.

Come on. Jules is gonna go right back
down there when she hears all this stuff.

We have to save her
from herself.

What does that even mean?

It means we go back to Santa
Barbara and start lying again.

Be careful for spiders.

Shawn! Shawn!

Here comes the tickler!

Morrissey?

No.

What have I told you
about getting up on the bed?

Down.

Off.

I can move you off me
any time I want to.

Actually,
that's not true, is it?

You think I'm a fraud,
don't you?

You think they're gonna
retire me?

I'd be a burden to my family.

Gonna sit in the La-Z-Boy the
rest of my life yelling at the TV?

Crap, that would suck.

I'm gonna level with you, dog,
just between you and I.

I don't know if I'm ever
gonna walk again.

What are you looking at?

You see that, right?

I mean, that guy
is really bleeding.

Come on, dog,
tell me I'm not crazy.

Of course, you're not crazy.
You're a Lassiter.

I thought I told you
to leave me alone.

I know, son.

But we have so much
catching up to do.

Lassie, Lassie, Lassie.

Look, we believe that you
saw something last night,

but why would a man
soaked in blood

sneak into some stables
at a recovery house?

I know what I saw.
Did anybody else see this?

Yes!

A dog?

My God.
Morrissey ate Dolores.

Dolores is fine.

Look, Lassie, we're
trying here, man. We are.

But that hand, remember?
The hand that Morrissey found

belongs to some techie CEO
that took a dive into the river.

It has nothing to do with you
or the Herschel House.

Keeping these trips secret
is proving very difficult.

Gus slept in a drawer
last night.

Full disclosure, it's the
best sleep I've had in years.

I might even stay there
again tonight.

Yeah, guess again.
You'll never know.

Regardless, your
only witness is a dog,

who I'm not convinced
didn't eat a nurse.

Guys, please.

Just check out the stables and
then you can tell me I'm crazy.

He said "please."
He did.

Selene!

Hi, Juliet.

Do you know where I can
file a missing person's report?

Yeah.

I can do that for you
right away. Who's it for?

Gus.
Gus?

Yes, he's not at work,

and he hasn't answered
his phone in two days.

And I've called
from lots of phones.

Selene, come on.
It's Gus.

It's fine. He doesn't have
a deceptive bone in his...

You know what?

He left his phone at our house

when they got back
from Santa Barbara.

What?

He didn't tell me he was
going to Santa Barbara.

Neither did Shawn. That's because
they were sneaking around on a case

they didn't want me to know
about. And that doesn't upset you?

No. It makes it easier for me to
sneak around and investigate cases

they don't know about.

Juliet, there's something or
someone he's not telling me about.

Is this about the nurse?

What nurse?

No, it's nothing.

Lassiter's nurse.

She's just very sweet, and
she just seems to really like Gus.

Super innocent.

So, why would Kessler
contradict his own alibi

unless he was forced to?

You know what,
Selene? I am sorry.

I have to go to Santa Barbara and
get a prisoner to recant his confession.

Gus is way into you. Try
not to spiral over nothing.

Bye.

A nurse isn't nothing.

All right.

I guess the bloody figure would
have had to come through here.

Man, even the stables are
spotless. I'd even eat off this floor.

You'd eat off any floor.

Now, why would they keep all
this medical equipment down here?

It doesn't make any sense.

What are these?

Ice chips.

They give them to patients during therapy
when they can't hold down solid food.

What are you doing eating that?

Dude, there's, like, five
different flavors in there.

You can't do that, Shawn.
It's impolite.

Impolite? You ate a Nutri-Grain
bar that you found in an armoire.

Exactly. It didn't belong
to anyone...

My gosh.
Blue raspberry.

Now you see what I'm saying.

This is like a Concord grape.

Excuse me.
Good morning.

Are you eating
the patients' ice chips?

I am not. He is.

That's not true.
We're sorry.

We're just... We're both
fans of delicious flavor.

We're friends of the chief.
Carlton Lassiter.

Friends of the chief's.

Hi.
Hello.

I'm Dr. Herschel.
This is my facility.

Those are my ice chips.

I'd like to remind you,
gentlemen,

that the areas marked
"restricted" are restricted

because they are restricted.

That feels fair.

We were wondering,

did you have any unexpected
visitors late last night

who had been attacked violently

and perhaps large pools
of blood in this general area,

maybe headed that way?

No. No pools of blood.

Any people living in your pipes?

Maybe speaking their
own tongue perhaps Parsel?

I'm fairly certain we do not.

I feel like we're making
some serious strides here. Yes.

What about one-handed patients?

Be it by birth,

industrial accident or voodoo?

One hundred percent
of our patients

have 100% of their appendages.

May I ask, gentlemen,
what is this about?

Say nothing.

Carlton may have seen a zombie.

What are you doing?
I don't know.

It was not a zombie, sir.

It was a normal man, possibly infected
with rage, drenched in his own blood.

And, did you know there
are bodies in your fields?

Now I'm doing it.

You.

You're good.

You are very good at extracting
confessions. Impressive.

I know that the chief has been
seeing things that are unexplainable.

Believe me. We are doing
everything in our power

to help him work through
this during his recovery.

We even sent for a specialist,

all the way from the island
of Cuba to help,

Mr. A.V. Catalon, a renowned
homeoneurotraumatist.

Dr. Herschel, I'm going
to be honest with you.

That title sounds like you
made it up this second.

Do you have a picture of
this alleged Dr. Catalon?

All you have to do is look
into the flap of his book.

What?
He wrote a book?

May I be honest with you,
gentlemen? Please, sir.

The chief's behavior is perfectly
within the realm of normal

for someone who has
experienced such severe trauma.

The only danger is if somebody
were to fuel his fantasies.

Am I being clear?

Yes.
Good.

Now, if I am ever to see
you two gentlemen again,

I hope it is in the area
marked "for visitors,"

because that's where visitors

do their visiting.

It tracks.

Good day.

Good day.

Wait for it.
Good, good.

Good, good.

Clear.

I like to suck on
the tips. What?

O'Hara. There you are.

You got it, didn't you?

Police Commissioner.
I can't believe it.

You'll come back
and visit us, right?

No, final interviews are later
today, and I'm just one of three.

It's an honor to be considered.

No, scratch that.

I want it. I need it. It
is mine to lose. Yeah.

So, why do you want
to talk to me so bad?

Ballistics is having
a little trouble

identifying the slug that
you brought in yesterday,

and I don't recall
the case it's from.

I was just crossing some T's in
the Embarcadero Shipping case.

Okay, then. Good.

Yeah.

And O'Hara...
Yes, Chief.

...If you're gonna go
after Lassiter's shooter,

please do us the courtesy
of clocking out first.

And never lie to me

even if you think
it's for my own protection.

I'm sorry.

I thought they had
someone in custody.

They do.

And he confessed?
He did.

I can explain.
I didn't ask you to.

And I don't need to remind you

how many cold-blooded killers
get off on technicalities.

So, you're going to Santa Barbara
to see about a prisoner?

Well, I'm going
to see about a nurse.

Gus, is this place starting
to mess with your head?

I suddenly have the urge
to give myself a tongue bath.

Focus, Shawn.
Right.

Look, I don't get it.

Devon Tileback's life
was perfect.

His company just went public.

Why would he jump off a bridge?

He just started spending
his money like a boss.

He had everything in life
to live for.

I don't know, Gus.

But Lassiter is spiraling with
every single unanswered question.

We need to prove something
even if it's not what we want to prove.

We've ruled out the hell hag.

Maybe we take a harder look
at Tileback.

Now what are we missing?

That doesn't make sense.

What? Our guy worked
from morning till night, right?

So, what's he doing driving
all the way into the hills

to the "Viking's Den Ice Bar"?

An ice cream bar?
No, no, ice bar.

The ones where they give you a parka
and they have subzero temperatures.

They're either for
tourists or Eskimos.

He could be an Eskimo.
What?

Let's go get loaded for Lassie.

You're not a public defender.
No, wait, Mr. Kessler.

I just don't want you
to make a mistake

by going to jail for a
crime you did not commit.

Look. I know you've had a
lot of heartbreaks in your life,

but you can get out
of this. I can help you.

No, you can't. Okay?

They're everywhere.

They're here.
They know everything.

Think about your wife.

Look, you don't get it, okay?

I can't trust anyone.
I'm fully exposed in here.

Don't let anybody force you to
do this. Think about your child.

Wait, wait, wait.

You have a kid?

And you're willing to
go to jail for nothing?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Who the hell is this?
Nobody.

Nobody?

I'm your best friend.
Best friend?

You brought your best friend with
you? Look, you know what? I'm done.

You know what?
You're right.

We are done, you ol' deadbeat
D'Andre. No, look, wait...

Peace out!
What?

Kessler, wait!

- We are not done!
- Open the door.

You know what?

I may have overreacted
slightly. May?

I don't like this, Shawn.

We're the only non-motorcycle
in this parking lot.

These people are extra white,
which is never good.

Well, you'll just have to be
extra black, then. You bet.

These mittens
are awfully restrictive.

I'm afraid my hat
used to be a raccoon.

The fur is fake, Shawn.

What we should've done
was waited to see

if any one of those fancy,
brown earmuffs became available.

Let's get the information
we need,

drink some chilled moonshine,
and bounce out of here.

Hello. Hi. You must be
the vodka consigliere?

What the hell is this?

What can you tell us
about Devon Tileback?

Don't talk about
Devon in here. Why not?

He owed a lot of money.

What?
That dude was loaded.

Look, he was a good guy,

but he was starting to lose it.

Kept going on about all of
his dark secrets being exposed.

First of all, thank you
for being forthcoming.

It's refreshing.
Yeah.

What secrets do you mean?

Hello.

Ova. This is my place.

Yes.

You're just the man
we'd like to speak with.

Question. Do you have any more of
those smoky topaz-brown earmuffs?

Those are for our VIPs,
and we're all out.

Have you ever been to Norway?

Just once with
my brother-in-law.

We don't talk about that, Shawn.

Ova, I'm gonna be
honest with you.

Neither of us have heard
of this joint,

and I wasn't even aware
this mountain existed.

Well, we just opened last year.

This is my second chapter.

I used to run
a different business,

successful and rewarding
in its own way.

But life has a way of
giving you a new direction.

It does.

Can I treat you to a favorite
of mine from back home?

Is it Oreo-flavored?

It is not.

It is cask-aged by my
family in Flekkefjord

for the last 120 years.

Not to seem ungrateful, but
do you have anything Russian?

Gentlemen, Norwegian tradition.

First, we look into each
other's eyes and we say...

Cheers.
And Cheers.

Kerosene.

Tell me, who is the bearded
Daryl Hannah over there?

That's Per.
He's my son.

He's also clearly
within earshot.

He's already displeased
with me and my career choices.

Perhaps we all stop
gawking at him? Fair enough.

Gus, we need to go.
We do.

But first, I need to go.

This vodka
went right through me.

Thank you for
your hospitality, Ova.

We'll be back to wear these
coats again, I can assure you.

Can we reserve two pair of the
extra plush, russet brown earmuffs?

Be sure to put you
on the top of the list.

Stop it.

What the hell?

That was not supposed to happen.

My cousin partnered with
Greg Grunberg on an app called

"Jamaica Me All The Way."

There are some bugs.

And that's what caused me to
photograph your...

...hairless genitals
over there twice.

I will erase
the photos immediately.

Bad news.
I just tweeted that.

You are one sick individual.

Don't
retweet that! Don't retweet that!

Damn it. You know, sometimes
I really hate my followers.

You know what we do
with sick individuals?

You give them
the space and care they deserve?

They get what they deserve,
all right!

What could I do?

I pulled the man's finger.

Let's go. Let's go!

It was nice meeting
you, Ova. And you.

Let's go!

Dude, what the hell
happened in there?

I will tell you
on my deathbed, Shawn.

- We go on foot.
- What?

Run, Shawn!

That idiot
photographed my dick in the bathroom!

Come on!
Dude, motorcycle! Let's go.

No, no, no.
I can't do it.

You can't do what?
Ride a motorcycle?

In all the years I owned one, how many
times did you actually see me ride, Gus?

I don't care. Shawn, there's
a bunch of angry Viking bikers

coming this way now.
Let's go.

I promised Jules
I wouldn't ride anymore,

and I gotta be honest
about something.

Dude, now is not the time to try
to suddenly live up to your vows.

Let's go!
That's fair.

Make a hard right!
Hard right!

Hard right! Hard right!
Hard right!

That wasn't a hard right,
Shawn. I tried to tell you, man.

What do we do now? I guess
we just lay here for a while.

Who the hell are you guys?

Who the hell are we?
Who the hell are you?

You're Devon Tileback.

Dude, our dog found your hand.

You're supposed to be dead.

You need to stop,

whatever it is
you think you're doing.

You have no idea
who you're dealing with.

More people are gonna die.

Just let me stay dead.

You're ruining everything.

When you say
"everything..."

Where did that shot come from?

Play dead.

Buzz frickin' McNab. In
a suit. It's even his size.

What's going on with the hair?

It's a douche-hawk, Shawn.

There's a piece coming loose.

Dude, he's got my phone.

Buzz, you look big and slick.

Shawn, Gus. What are you
guys doing in Santa Barbara?

Well, I left a Frisbee signed
by a German film director,

Florian Henckel von
Donnersmarck when I moved,

and I've come back
to collect it.

Gus has a new love interest down
here who happens to be a nurse.

Hey. Not true.
Can I have that?

It's evidence.
It's mine.

You guys got here too quick
for us to fish it out of the ditch.

Did you kill that guy?
Buzz, please.

The man was dead before
we spoke to him.

What? He died a second
time, Buzz. Keep up.

Why are you here?
Super top secret, man.

I can't tell you or anyone
from your department

or any former members
of your department,

especially not...

Jules?

That means she's still
working this case.

She lied to me, Gus.

She lied to me.

I'm so turned on
right now, dude.

Shawn, don't be happy
about this.

You are setting
a dangerous precedent.

Honesty is the key component
in any... Who's she talking to?

This doesn't look
like a hospital...

What the...

Dude, we gotta get out of here.

Selene found me.

Damn it! I knew I was gonna
get caught. Just act natural.

What is happening?
Buzz, you never saw us.

But, this is a crime scene.
Okay, listen very closely.

Guy in a ditch...
Named Devon...

Faked death...
Owed people money...

Got found...
Got shot...

Now dead...
Case closed...

We will waive our fee
for solving this

because you still have to
figure out who shot him.

Okay, but how am I...

Nope... Nope...
Yep... Yep...

Do not let her in here.

Move, sir. Move, sir.
Juliet! Juliet!

What's going on here?

I'm not sure.
But if I had a guess,

the guy faked his death and then got
shot by the people he was hiding from.

How long have you
been here? Ten minutes.

That's impressive.

Thanks, Juliet.
It means a lot.

Here is the ballistics report on
the bullet that went through Lassiter.

There was a second gun,

which means the guy
who confessed is a liar.

But don't tell anyone how you
got this. Do you understand?

I'm not sure I understand
anything right now.

That's the Buzz I know
and love. How's Francie?

She's teaching yoga
to horses now.

A cop.

Nice hiding space, Shawn.

Then where do you suggest
we go, Gus?

We're in the forest
and look like bears.

Yeah, but there's cops
everywhere.

No one is paying attention
to us, Shawn. No one.

You're right, that's weird.

Juliet, if you would simply
take me to the hospital...

Selene, I am working a case I
have no business working on.

So, I am super sorry,

but I would like to
respectfully request

that you shut the hell up.

Excuse me? I'm sorry.
I should have said heck.

You brought a friend with you?

It's Gus's girlfriend.
Hi.

You're the nurse.

No!

Man, Selene's coming back.

Through the car.
Good call.

Hurry.

Careful. You're getting
footprints all over Jules's seats.

Stop kicking everything.

You kicked everything
everywhere.

Shawn, she's coming. There is no
reason that keeps us here right now.

Dude, there kind of is.

- Shawn, she's gonna see us. Come on.
- Juliet,

I'll just get there myself.

Watch it!

I don't... I don't know
what I did, but I'm so sorry.

Buzz?

I'm gonna need your car.

Keys?

I... I left them in
the car.

Man.

Dude, will you snap out of it?

It's impossible.
What's impossible?

I think I'm pregnant.

What?

When did you start
trying to have a baby?

I don't know, Gus.
I thought we were waiting.

I assumed that we would
start with a hamster.

Maybe a mini-leopard.

You know me, man.
I'm not ready for this.

You know the windows in the loft

don't even fully close, right?

I'm gonna have to replace them,

otherwise this is Baby's
Day Out all over again.

Shawn, calm down, calm down.

You're spinning.

No reason to get worked up
over John Hughes' worst idea.

Are you even listening?

Lassie just texted, all caps.

He saw Wilkerson
running down the hallway.

Wilkerson? The comatose
dude in a wheelchair?

I think Lassie's hit a new low.

We're gonna have to
deal with this.

Shouldn't we be dealing with
this whole fatherhood thing?

Yes, but later. This Lassie
thing is the perfect reason

not to deal with anything
real at all. How lucky is that?

And what exactly
are you thinking?

Well, it is that time.

What time?

So now Lassie's seeing some
comatose man up and running around.

But we've got a real
dead guy on our hands.

We're concerned
we've lost him forever.

Shawn, I did not steal
your mustache collection.

What is your problem?

Well, then you
misplaced it, Pop.

Or you used it as part of
your bedroom play

for whatever
unfortunate jezebels

you convinced to participate
in your sick game.

This cat. Look, I just want
'em back. I need 'em back.

You better walk that tone
someplace else if you want my help.

All right, can I step in here?

Shawn is having a lot going
on right now. Big picture life stuff.

My only concern at the moment
is that my dad is a liar and a thief.

Do we even know if that
merkin on your face is real?

Stop!

I thought maybe
when you got married,

you might take even half a
step toward being an adult.

But you're regressing big time.

Well, I am way further down
that road than you can imagine being.

And this just in, I will
never steal from my child.

I can't wait for you to feel what it's
like to have to deal with the mini-you.

I am counting the minutes to it.

It'll be the redemption
of my life,

watching you fail.

And all those years you thought

you were telling me things
I didn't already know.

All right.

Lassie is spiraling.

We thought we were helping him
by looking into his visions.

But now we're concerned
we're just fueling his imagination.

Guys, come on,
come on. Now, look.

Carlton is one of the
best cops I've ever known.

He survived six bullets
and a stroke.

His body may be
playing catch up,

but his mind is as sharp
as I've ever known.

Come on, let's face it. He's never
had much of an imagination, right?

So when he says this
guy Wilkerson is faking it,

maybe you should do
the crazy thing.

Believe him.

Believe him? Gus, you
know what this means.

We have to go full...
Dirty...

Rotten...
Scoundrels.

Afternoon, Wilkerson.
How you doing?

We're new here.
Name's Shawn Spencer.

- This is my partner, L'Eggo My Eggo.
- No.

Norman Brownbutter.

Try again, Shawn.

- Dijon Hounsou?
- Accepted.

Why are you rejecting nicknames
in front of a comatose guy?

Because I'm a pro. Penny
for your thoughts, Vic.

Save your pennies, Dijon.
I got this.

I see it, Jack Daddy.

You play it straight?

Tough guy from
the old neighborhood,

probably didn't even cry
when Liz Berkley

got addicted to speed
in Saved by the Bell.

But guess what?

Even tough guys...

Are ticklish.

Looks like a very bad boy
is about to get attacked

by the French tickler.

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Give it to him, Gus.

Give it to him.

Give it to him clean, please.

Yeah.

Work it. Prepare it.

Get in there.

Take off the sock, Gus.

All right.

Hey, come on.

- Come on, Wilkerson, you know you can feel that.
- Come on, man.

You're gonna break,
and when you do,

you can take the window
or the stairs.

Harder, Gus.

It's about to get hard.

Yeah.

Harder.

Harder, Gus.
Gus, go hard!

Are you getting up in there?
It's getting hard.

Get up in there.

Finish it.
I'm going hard, Shawn.

Excuse me.

What are you two doing?

We're just visiting
Mr. Wilkerson here.

Why have you removed
his stockinged feet?

Dr. Herschel, we have reason
to believe that your Wilkerson

is faking.
Yes.

Faking? Faking?
Yes.

This man suffers from
severe catatonia.

He has had imparity of all bodily
functions for quite some time.

We're not even sure he's going to recover
at all, and you're tickling his feet?

Well, that's a regional term.

Gus prefers
"playing football."

At first, I thought you two had this
harmless, idiotic Ren and Stimpy thing...

Stimpy.
...going.

Now, you're proving
to be dangerous.

I want you out.

What... Shawn,
Gus, what is going on?

Dolores, great.
I can explain.

Have you ever seen
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

We're talking, like, you and
I, like a Netflix and chill scenario?

Nurse O'Riordan, kindly escort these
two pedofetishers off the premises.

And then attend
to Mr. Wilkerson,

and examine his feet
for signs of violation.

Violation? Get your hands
off that man's eyeball.

There is a sign
marked "exit."

It is marked "exit"
for the purpose of exiting.

Find it. Use it.

Gentlemen, my dander is rising.

I don't really know what to say,

but you guys should
probably come with me.

Come on, Dolores.

You don't think maybe
there's another reason

that dude just got
a dander boner?

Maybe the Good Doctor
isn't so good,

and we're on to him.
And so is Lassiter.

On to what?

Dr. Herschel is an incredible
doctor and humanitarian

who took on Carlton's case
at his own expense.

What does that mean,
like, for free?

That's just bad business.

Okay, you know what?

Feel free to reach out
for updates,

but at this point, I see no other
option than for you guys to stay away.

Goodbye.

What is that?
That's...

Surreal.
I mean, I don't...

Shawn, we're done.

I need to get a hold of Selene

before she turns me
into a voodoo doll.

Nope. What we need to do is get
back into that hospital and help Lassie.

Why can we never just
reach the end of the line?

Because, Gus, we're close,

and we need eyes
on Dr. Herschel.

What is that?

That is called Plan B.

Arrival papers
and a security pass

for renowned touring trauma
specialist Dr. A.V. Catalon from Cuba.

And he could pick them
up himself, but I suspect

he's going to get
a phone call later...

cancelling his trip.

Who do we know
in the whole wide world

that could possibly
take his place? Who?

What?

Oui!

My gosh.

This is why I needed
my mustache collection, Gus.

Hello?

My name is
Amerigo Vespucci Catalon Estevez,

and you killed my father.
No.

Yes. Yes. Yes.
No.

Yes, you did.
I did not.

Prepare to die. It's not
gonna work, Shawn.

You kidding me right
now? This is a lock.

I'm virtually
unrecognizable to myself.

CAFE OWN
ER: Somebody in here?

I'm going into
your dad's office,

and I am calling the police.

I know what you're thinking.

"Does he have a Plan C?"

No, he does not.

But does he have a Plan D?

Yes.

Woody, the mustache is
spectacular.

From my lip to God's ears.

Thank you for coming
on such short notice.

Did you get the materials? Do you
need us to fill you in on anything?

I studied everything
about him on the plane.

I know exactly who this guy is.

I know what makes him tick,

what excites him,
his biggest fears.

I like that very much.

But, Woody,
for our purposes here,

we should probably focus on
the type of medicine he practices,

and how he helps the
patients at this facility.

I must disagree
to disagree, Shawn.

Sure, that will come into
play down the line, yes.

But more importantly, how does
Catalon feel about his mother

and her unriddling dominance
over him and his seven siblings.

He's an only child.
In his mind, yes.

But that's how he managed to
survive in a world he distrusted,

and the loss of the only
woman he had never loved,

Esmerelda,

hostess at the tobacco farm

where he spent
his formative summers.

Editor's note, his bicycle
had a banana seat.

None of that is in here.

Well, of course
it isn't, dear, simple Gus.

But that doesn't make it
any less true in here

and here and just a little
down here.

I feel woozy.

Woody, I need you
to concentrate, man.

We need you on the inside,

and we really need this to work.

Shawn, I am calm.

I am collected.

Not since Ben Affleck in,
well, anything,

has an actor been more
prepared for a role in his life.

You're not an actor.
You're barely a coroner.

Are you planning on doing an
accent? Yes, I am.

Less is more.
A lot less.

Guys, I got this.
Adios, hombres.

Is he doing a limp?

You're doing a limp?
I got this.

Buenos tardes, senorita,
or young lady?

I am Dr. Amerigo Catalon,

from the island country of Cuba,

reporting for work.

Dr. Catalon. Wonderful.

Could you just
spell that for me?

No, no, I cannot.

Okay.

You're gonna do great.

I know.

These were marked
urgent for you.

Thank you. I will check
them after my interview.

Welcome, Karen.

It's exciting to be nearing
the conclusion of our search.

As you know, the process
has been an exhaustive one.

Yes.

And thank you for
considering me for such...

Such a lofty...

I can't believe... It's an
honor just... Just really to...

To be considered, and...

And I never thought that I
would reach such a lofty...

I have to go.

Excuse me?

We're making our decision today.

I know.

Choose Pradam.

She's much more
cut out for this.

And this room is ridiculous.

Woody.

What do you got for us?

Did you see Lassie?
I got all his pills.

Great job, man. You were
born to do undercover work.

I am deep in guys.

That's great. Woody, can
you hand us the pills, please?

We don't wanna
get caught in here.

Sure.

Okay...

I just want to point out
that you guys requested

that I take Lassiter's pills.

I thought you wanted me
to be the guinea pig on this,

but now I understand, your
way is a much better plan.

And the good news is
they are time-release pills,

and I have one painfully
lodged in my throat.

But watch the problem solver
at work, solving the problem.

Come on, man.

Do you have a surgical glove
by chance?

Forty-three pairs. They also
come in wine and burnt pumpkin.

I'm a hoarder.

Okay, first of all,
that's a Chiclet.

Wait, there's more.

What the...

Someone did not
want us to find this.

Bandages, stitches...
Peroxide.

Dude, this is all
for an emergency patch job.

Somebody was coming here for
help on the down low from a doctor.

Ok, great. So which doctor was on
duty the night Lassie saw the bloody guy?

We were here that day.
Dr. Herschel.

Guys, I could
get in huge trouble for this.

Dolores, all the pieces
are falling into place.

Lassie could be the next victim.

I cannot believe
Dr. Herschel could be a villain.

Really? It's not like
he emanates warmth.

Okay, look, I will
sneak you in to protect Carlton,

but you cannot leave this room.

Of course. Thank you,
Dolores. You're the best.

Ice chips.
Funyuns.

You can get them both.
Me?

Why do I have to risk
sneaking around?

Jackal says what?
What?

Man.

Hey, Lass.

Quick ask, you know,
between two gentlemen.

When you first found out that Marlowe
was, "with child,"

Would you say that you
were overcome with joy,

or was it more like panic
and confusion

and, a lack of oxygen?

Asking for a friend.

Guster.

Henry? What are you
doing here?

I need to see Shawn, but
first, you're gonna tell me why

he was having an extra
sensitive cow earlier?

Something is going on.

I know my son.
No.

Guster! Spit!

Fine.

I'm gonna tell you one time.

Shawn, Juliet...

"Eliminate hippies."

Gus, don't you come in here
without those blue ice chips.

I'm going to make you feed me
like a Jamaican baby bird.

What are you doing here?

Why are you looking at me
like that?

I think I might've crossed
a line back at the office.

I saw something I'd never seen.

I think I hurt you.

No. No, you didn't
hurt me.

Maybe just a little?

That's not possible.
I'm... I'm impervious.

Shawn,

look,

being a dad...

It isn't easy. Is this your
version of an apology?

Shawn, would you let me finish?

It isn't easy,

but it may be the best
thing a man can do

in his entire lifetime.

Look, I... What I'm
just trying to say

is that if you're so lucky,

you'll see the day
that your kid is born. No...

Whenever that happens.

Your heart, it goes from
being inside your chest

to outside your body,

to this other being
it attaches itself to,

who now owns it.

And it swings around
like a frickin' tether ball.

Boom.

You never get it back.

And that's the torture.

And I recommend it highly.

Yeah, well, I don't know
if it's recommended for me.

All due respect, Dad,
I'm not like you.

No. No, you're not.

And that's why you'll be
better than me.

This is weird and uncomfortable.

Yeah, weird.
How can I help?

Well...

I'm supposed to finish this
list of errands for Lassie.

There are 93 items
and I'm on number two.

Who the hell writes this small?

That is really small.
Let me show you something.

You can use the camera.

You click that, and then pinch.

Magnification.

That is sweet tiny blue eyes.

Wait.

What is that indentation?

"Silent partner."

Dad, he wrote "silent partner,"

and that's the date
of the shooting. That...

That's why he went
to the warehouse,

to meet with the victim.

Do you think
you could get this...

Analyzed?
Yeah.

I'll be back in
two hours. Great.

We'll stay here and
watch Lassie like real men.

I got greedy, Shawn.

I took everything.

I sure hope none of these
patients get dry mouth.

My God, is that a Bundt cake?

The nurse's lounge
was unlocked too.

Did you bring forks?
Come on, son.

And we're back.
Thanks, Dad.

Sweet, man. That looks
unusually moist.

That's yours.

Gus,

you're goo-gooing in your
sleep again. Knock it off.

What the...

Mary?

What?

What the hell
are you doing here, man?

I'm a baby, Shawn. It's
glorious. I just finished teething.

Hey, have you
ever been swaddled?

You know, it's like
a joyful mummification.

What is that?
Why are you doing that?

Hey, could you do a quick pivot
and get me out of this diaper?

Because I just filled it.

And I am a little uncomfortable

with how right that felt to do.

Okay. Okay.

I see what's going on here.

I got news for everybody.

I don't know how to
change a diaper, okay?

I'm not ready for you.

I don't care what my dad says.

And what does that mean?

Let's... Let's talk
about that. Let's unpack that.

What it means
is I get why you're here.

But the only thing
I know about fatherhood

is what I learned from all
eight episodes of Manimal.

What I need to know is,

where do you land on the
whole nurture versus nature thing,

I.e, might you offer up
your teat?

I absolutely will not.

How 'bout a lullaby, then?

Something in F major, maybe,

if it suits you, sir.

All right, if I...
If I sing to you,

will you go to sleep,
you strange little baby-man?

That's the idea.

So, kid

May I please

No, you can't have this teat

Such a tease

So, kid

Just a squeeze

It's just a figure of speech

Would you please go to sleep?
How can I fall asleep?

But you can't have this teat
When I can't have this teat

Shawn.

Who are you gently
and sweetly singing with?

Gus, you look beautiful.

I'd hug ya, but my
nappy is packed,

and, I could spit up
at any second.

You wanna hear something funny?

Gus can totally change a diaper.

You must be out of your mind.

My point is simply that

you have been ready for
fatherhood your whole life.

You dated a woman with a kid.

You accidentally abducted
some other kid.

All you have to do is copy
what your dad did with you,

because look how you turned out.

That was really sweet, you guys,

in an extremely convoluted way.

But, two questions.

One, is there a ladybug
looking over my shoulder?

And two, is there anything else

that you could please put me in,

so I'm not bouncing here
in my own poop cage?

I don't want to belabor
the point,

but it is getting sloppy.

Have you guys ever seen blue?

Gus, are you seeing
what I'm seeing?

Wilkerson?
We got jackaled.

Now, that would be huge
if I wasn't dreaming.

Mary, let me ask you...

Mary?

Gus, what is this?
Why are we doing this?

He's resisting, Shawn.
Get off of me!

Are you sure? It
seems a bit one-sided.

He's a merman!

He's a merman, Shawn,
with gills!

I can't hold him down on account
of a slippery, scaly epidermis.

What is wrong with you two?

Excuse me, sir.

Are you or are you not a merman?

No, I'm not a frickin' merman!

Gus.

Gus! No gills.

Let me get this straight.

You've just been
pretending this whole time?

No, not the whole time.

I mean, I still have some
numbness on my right side,

but I can get around, obviously.

And you can't tickle for crap.

Why are you doing this?

Is this an insurance thing?

And is that a cactus
growing out of your head? No.

And No.

And stop touching my
scar, man. I gotta wake up.

Wake up, Gus. Come on, Gus! Gus.

Gus, Gus! Gus!
What?

We're not sleeping, dude.

I think baby Mary
was a hallucination.

I'm pretty sure Wilkerson is the real
deal, but we're tripping on something.

No, not something, psychotropes.

You suddenly feel like you
wanna confess something?

Yeah.

I used to have
a major thing for Jewel,

even after the Civil War movie
and the Bollywood song.

I mean, the tooth and the
van story, she could yodel...

Somehow they're getting
them into the patients' meds.

I stopped taking mine,
but it didn't help.

Carlton may have seen a zombie.

Did you know there are
bodies in your fields?

Gosh, it's the ice chips.

What? That's
just diabolical.

They know everything.

That's how they get you.

Hey, look, if they find out
that I'm still lucid,

I'm a dead man walking, okay?

I have money.
I can pay you guys.

Please, don't give me up.

Not after what they did
to my best friend.

- Devon Tileback?
- Yes. How'd you know that?

We didn't.
Until now.

You're the silent partner.

Tell us everything you know,

and your truth is safe
in the vault of secrets.

We had an IPO coming up,

and, we were, cooking
the books that the company...

No!
It was Tileback's idea.

Shame.
I just...

I went along with it.

The lying was killing me.

I was having panic attacks.

The next thing you know, I'm
recovering here from a stroke.

And apparently, I spilled
everything to Herschel during therapy,

because a few days later,
a guy shows up at our office,

saying he knows everything.

He offers to keep his
mouth shut for a price.

A steep price.

Tileback played along
for a little while,

but once the IPO was announced,

they wanted to bleed us dry.

Tileback tried to secretly
meet up with Chief Lassiter,

and they shot the chief.

They tracked Tileback down and
they cut off his hand as a warning.

He tried to disappear, but they
found him and then they killed him.

Who is "they"?

I don't know, I don't know.

They have someone working
on the outside,

doing all their dirty work, so
that they can't be connected

to the recovery house.

Devon was so scared,

and now he's dead.

And I will be, too, if they
ever see me walking.

Then why are you packing
up your stuff and leaving?

'Cause obviously, it's not
safe for me here, either.

Hey, hey, hey. Your secret
is safe in the vault of secrets.

Redundant. From
one jackal to another,

sit tight until we figure
out who's on the outside,

because that's the guy
who shot the chief of police.

It's Herschel and his twin.

What? There's one guy
standing over there, Gus.

How many of those
ice chips did you eat?

I just ate the last one.

You kept eating them after we knew
they were laced with hallucinogens?

I can't help it, Shawn.
I run island hot.

Dr. Herschel... Woody!

Hey, guys, how are we doing?

What are you two
still doing here?

I get to cover the night
rounds for Dr. Herschel.

Dr. Herschel is gone?

Tell me he isn't the guy
I'm supposed to be watching.

You know, not to pile on
the criticisms, Woody,

but we're trying to
close up this case quietly,

which means keeping
the evidence hidden

until we know who
the outside trigger man is.

This is new stuff.

What?
Yeah.

I went looking for that
Chiclet I coughed up,

you know, five day rule and all,

and I saw that we missed
some of the hidden bandages.

Wait a minute.

Is this a smoky topaz-brown
earmuff, or am I imagining it?

I don't know anybody who
would wear a bloody earmuff.

Gus, I know
where the outside man is.

Shawn, will you get
your hand off my knee?

Gus, for the last time,

someone from this ice bar

went to the Herschel House
covered in blood

and got stitched up
mob doctor style.

Our highly-skilled tracking dog,

along for the assist
with this earmuff,

is going to lead us
right to them.

Shawn, we've done
this routine before.

Do you not know
the definition of insanity?

Gus, please, I'm going to
leave the leash on this time.

So? Morrissey, smell this muff.

Good news, bad news.

What's the bad news?
He ate the earmuff.

What's the good news?

He clearly took on the
scent, Gus, body and soul,

and he will now lead us
to the owner of said muff.

Come on, son.

I'll be damned.

You're almost there,
man. Come on, come on in.

What?

It took four minutes for you
to get inside that window.

Juliet Spencer O'Hara.

Shawn, I have never been
more angry with you.

You can't be angry.

Why? Your blood
pressure, obviously.

What? My blood pressure is fine.

What are you doing here?

We are trying to solve this
case so you don't get busted.

We have evidence that the guy Lassie
thought he imagined is actually real,

came from this place,
and is a VIP.

More importantly, what are you
doing here? You shouldn't be alone.

I'm not alone.

I wasn't gonna let
her come here alone.

Now, where's this evidence?
Currently, Morrissey's stomach.

Or in his intestines. Either
way, it can come back up at any time.

What's your lead? Final
bullet that shot Lassiter.

I found it.
And I found the gun

with the information she
didn't directly give to me.

Nice, babe.

I'm proud of you.
Now...

Is there anything else
you'd like to say to me?

Yes.
Wait.

All right, I'm ready.

The slug was traced to a
rare Norwegian-made pistol

registered to Ova Asblorn.

No, not that.
Ova? The bar owner?

No, no. He's just
a sweet retiree

enjoying the second chapter of his
life, owning a mountaintop watering hole.

We're talking about Ova Asblorn?

- Yes.
- The Butcher of Bodo?

The Butcher of what?
No, "Boo-de."

"Boo-de."
Purse your lips.

That's a dope nickname.

Unless he's an actual butcher.

Then it's a little on the nose.

No, Ova's a gunrunner, a
drug dealer, an extortionist,

ran a major crime
syndicate in Norway.

At least, before he almost died.

I used to run
a different business.

Please stop touching my scar.

My gooshen, Gus.
Ova had a stroke.

He was a patient
in the Herschel House.

He's the outside man
and Lassiter's shooter.

Which means
Dr. Herschel is on the inside

digging out the dirty secrets
of his rich ass patients.

Feeding them to Ova on the
outside to shake down the victims.

Nobody ever put those
two together until now.

And
we just figured out the final piece.

Nasty dance. Wood
on wood. Nasty dance.

Could you
do it? Would you do it?

Guys?
Morrissey?

I guess it's not Ova.

It's Ova.

Yeah, but
it's not "ova."

Shawn, it's Ova.

Gus, this is nowhere
near "ova."

It's Ova right there.
Guys.

That dog doesn't care
about anything.

Okay, we got to get out of here.

Come on, dude. Did you
just put on a dead man's earmuffs?

He can have them back whenever
he wants them back, Shawn.

Got him.

Per... Pern... Per...

What am I looking for?
Per...

- I have to roll the "R" like that?
- Yes.

Pe-a-r...
Listen to me, man. I see it.

That's Per.
He's my son.

He's already displeased with
me and my career choices.

Your dad, sweet old Ova, right?

He suddenly has a stroke
and then, boom,

he wants to go down
the straight and narrow?

He wants to turn over
a new leaf,

and he gives up
the family business.

What?
What are you saying?

I've waited my whole life
for my moment.

Right, fathers.

They disappoint us, man. That's...
That's what they do. Trust me, I know.

Sometimes, in very rare cases,

the hospitals that care
for them use their secrets

to blackmail
their families, right?

Well, they tried.
But I changed the deal.

Made myself a partner.

It was better than organized crime.

No, you're going
into Norwegian again. We don't have...

Your friend Lassiter,
he got too close.

I didn't think he'd make it
after I shot him.

Chief, help
me out here. What is he saying?

How should I know? Aren't
you Swedish or something?

No. Then did he see my face?

Did he remember anything?

There was only one way
to find out.

Get him into the right
recovery home and watch him.

Gus?

What are you guys
doing back here?

How many of you are there?

- Selene?
- Gus?

I... I went to the
hospital. I saw her.

Your nurse.
What?

Yeah. You know,
I don't hate her.

She's kind, pretty.

I mean, I... I really wish
she wasn't your choice.

She's not my choice.

- No, just stay here!
- Stop! Stop!

All of you!

There is only one way this ends.

So let's just get on with it.

She dies first.

No, you won't!
Shawn, step back!

You will not shoot my wife.

She's pregnant.

What?

Jules, I know and I'm ready.

That's a lie.

I'm not ready. I'm
not even sort of ready.

But, I mean, I figure once the
whole two-year gestation period

plays itself out, I mean,
how far along are we?

Shawn. I'm just
trying to figure out

how much time
we have. I have.

We're not talking hours, right?

Like, nothing's gonna break and start
cascading, right? Nothing...

Shawn, if this is some sort
of weird distraction move,

stop it!
Step out of the open.

I'm not gonna let you
shoot Shules' baby, either.

What's a Shules?

You people are making
my head hurt.

Shawn, step out of the open,
or I will shoot you myself.

I am not pregnant.

Can you two figure this out
in your own time?

Sweetheart, I get it. You
wanted to tell me yourself,

but I saw the pregnancy test
in your car.

What?
Excuse me?

May I speak
to my friends, please?

By all means.

Gus, I couldn't find you
for two days.

You went radio silent on me.

And I wanted to see how
you really felt about us

before I told you.

Told me what?

The pregnancy test is mine.

Praise be.

Me?

I know you hate the late night
routine, Carlton, but bottoms up.

Hey, I don't recognize
any of these pills.

That's 'cause those ones
are different.

Those are designed
to make you go to sleep.

Forever.

And if you don't take them,

then I'll just throw a
shot of this into your drip,

and Bob will still be
your uncle, I'm afraid.

Go for it.

Have it your way, Carlton.

That gorgeous black friend
of yours and his sidekick

are not gonna make it back.

They were easy to manipulate.

Truth be told,
I like you, Carlton.

You got soft lips,

and a chest full of hair plentiful
enough to wig all of Destiny's Child.

So trust me when I say this is
the last thing I wanted to do today.

How can you be mixed up
with something like this?

Mixed up?

All right, this couldn't possibly
have been my idea, right?

I mean, as a woman,
I must've been compromised

or forced to participate, right?

This was all my idea.
All my baby.

And that Boy Scout Herschel
couldn't be more oblivious.

All you had to do
was lie there and eat those ice chips,

but no, you and the get-along gang
just couldn't leave well enough alone.

Open your eyes, Carlton.

You're not going anywhere.

I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to put my foot down.

I think I'm done.

I'm no good to anyone like this.

I can't think straight.

I can't walk.

I'm just so tired, Pop.

Is it your daddy?
Is he back?

Well, you tell him you're
gonna see him very soon.

So tired.

Think about Marlowe.

Think about Lily.

They need you.
Like I needed you?

I am so sorry
that I wasn't with you.

But I promise I didn't
miss a single thing.

The day caught your first fish,

when you hit your
first and only home run,

it was a foul ball.

I know.

Well, I wasn't gonna tell
anyone. I was dead.

I'm so proud of you, Carlton.

You said you were gonna be fine.

You said Lassiters tough it out.

I never got to say goodbye.

Yeah.

It was supposed to be a routine
bypass. It was a blood clot.

But you,

you have a choice.

You are not done yet.

What if I don't get better?

How am I supposed to
teach Lily how to fly fish

with just one working hand?

You will get better,
so live for us both.

Be the husband and father
that I didn't get to be.

You gotta fight, Carlton.
Fight for your family.

Fight for your queen.

I'm just so tired, Pop.

Just let me sleep
for ten minutes.

That's it.

Sweet, sweet surrender.

It's all gonna be over soon.

Carlton, get up.

Don't give up, Carlton.
Open your eyes.

Goodbye, Carlton.

That's my boy. How did
you get that gun in here?

He actually has three.
One in the chair,

one in the fireplace, and one
right up his chute, a little John Dilly

Dad, I got this.

I forgive you. I'm sorry.
I just miss you so much.

I'm damn proud to be a Lassiter.

You have the right
to remain silent.

He can go by Danger,
he can go by Shaft.

He can go by Shafty,
he can go by De'Shaft.

That's God's comma.

Yes, it has
the God's comma in it.

Excuse me, Shawn. Can
I talk to my baby's daddy?

Of course.
Thank you.

Good boy, dude.
Come on, son.

How are you feeling, my
little chocolate chippy-chip?

I'm... I'm fine. You... You
know, I didn't really faint before.

I was just resting my legs.

Yes. Rest those legs.

Now, listen.

I know all of this
happened very fast.

Yes.
So...

Burton Guster...

Will you... SHAWN
: timeout...

Selene, I think you've
flipped-flopped the situation here.

Shawn. You're
ruining everything.

This is exactly how I
imagined it would go.

I'm gonna be a godmother.

Chief, she's my best friend.

So, Burton Guster,

will you make me the
happiest woman on this planet,

on Eris and Pluto...

And Pluto?
And marry me?

Yes. I will do that.

Now...

Selene, will you marry me

and protect me from spiders
and polar bears and...

Agree to live next door
to Shawn and Jules

and have connecting pools
in our backyards

and a lazy river running
through our living rooms?

That's a ton to unpack.

It is.

You know what?
Yes, I will!

Yes!
What?

Yes!

Yeah.

Sure you're not upset
about the whole no kid thing?

What? No.
Not even a little.

I love you. Yeah.

You're my person.
Yeah.

Now we just have one
tiny little detail to iron out.

What's that?
I'm still married.

What? Don't worry
about it. We'll figure it out.

What?

How does it feel?

Blessed be the fruit?

You guys...

You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna stay behind.

Wait. Here?

Yes. I spoke
to Butterfly.

She just wants me
to live my best life.

Also, she hates me.

I think this is where
I'm meant to be.

From now on,
I will be Dr. Catalon.

And you two are sworn
to keep my secret.

Excuse me, Dr. Catalon.

I'm sorry to say
I'm a bit flummoxed.

There appears to be someone
here claiming to be you.

Ho!

Really?

Gentlemen, the door.

Carlton, that is what
they call a collar's collar.

And I knew the second they
admitted you to this beautiful facility,

that someday, you'd find a way

to discharge your weapon inside.

Thank you, both of you.

What for?

How much time you got, Henry?

So, are you ready
to see Marlowe?

Question is, is she
ready to see me?

I think she's ready to see you.

O'Hara, I made her go away.

I know you did.

I couldn't stand the thought of her
seeing me like this one more day

stuck in that bed
and stuck in this chair.

That woman is the greatest
thing that's ever happened to me.

Agree.
Two agree.

Hello, my love.

Stop, please.

I... I'm sorry.

Did I...

Hi, baby.
Hi.

I just wanted to look my wife in
the eye when I said, "Let's go home."

I love you so much, baby.

I love you.

Bye, Pop.

There he goes.
Hey, hey.

Hey, wait up!
Sir... Sir, stop!