All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Secrets of Playboy S02E03 - Playboy no Campus_track3_[eng]

When people think
about "Playboy,"

they think
about those soft images.

That is part of this narrative
that, like, Bunnies,

they're delicate.
They're so pretty and soft.

What people don't think about

is there's a judgment
about the women who pose.

These women may not
realize that a photograph

in "Playboy" follows you
the rest of your life.

"Playboy" Magazine is placing
an ad in campus newspapers

asking for models to appear
in a special fall issue.

"Attention female student body,

ever fantasize
about being pictured

in the number one
men's magazine in the world?"

They want to know your weight,
measurements, date of birth.

"Playboy" coming to campus
and recruiting

for their pictorials
of young college women

and the university allowing it.

That feels predatory.

Posing as a coed
really did impact my life.

Being judged and bullied by
people who didn't even know me--

that was the worst part.

Posing for "Playboy" has
followed me to this day.

I was in situations
where I said,

"I hope they don't find out."

A lifetime...
[laughs] as a pariah

where something
relatively minor was unjust.

When it comes to sex,
women can't win.

[motor revving]

My name is Hugh Hefner.

I'm editor-publisher
of "Playboy" magazine.

REPORTER: Playboy is one

of the most famous brand names
in the world.

It was simply to include sex as

one natural part of a package
for a male audience.

WOMAN: When I made the choice
to do "Playboy,"

I didn't realize all
the choices that I was making

that came with that choice.

WOMAN #2: We don't judge the men
for buying the "Playboy"s,

but we judge the women
for posing for "Playboy."

JILL:
I was never Jill anymore.

I was Jill
that posed for "Playboy."

WOMAN #3: I just gave in
and knew that I was

probably gonna go to hell.

WOMAN #4
It got to a certain point

where it wasn't fun anymore.

SONDRA: This process was
very painful,

but I should be able to tell
my story as I lived it.

"Playboy," in its portrayal
of women's sexuality,

is undoubtedly serving

the desires and the fantasies
of straight men.

And the celebration of coeds
in the magazine is absolutely

a part of the entire vision
of sexuality

and femininity that Hefner
is promoting in "Playboy."

The problem is,
when you pose so young,

you're dealing with something
very permanent

that is going to
follow you around.

Women have
had to pay consequences

for having appeared years ago.

My name is
Michelle Mislevicek Gaines.

I appeared in
the September 1984 issue

of "Playboy,"
"Girls of the Big Ten."

I'm from Madison, Wisconsin.

I always wanted to go to
the University of Wisconsin.

Was originally an economics/
political science major.

Intended to do government work,
maybe international relations.

I was living with Ron,
my fiancé at the time.

Our wedding was set
for the summer of 1984.

He had a subscription
to "Playboy."

And every month I had to hear

about how beautiful
these women were,

how hot they were,
how desirable they were.

I thought, "How can you not
think that hurts me?"

I don't look anything like that.

And then literally,
he and his friends talking

about, "Oh, yeah,
she's got great boobs,

but--but the legs
on the other one are..."

Just like they're
comparing pieces of steak.

I was already dealing
with my warped pursuit

of a certain body type,

and Ron's interest in "Playboy"
didn't help it.

I don't think anyone would have
ever considered me overweight,

but I would burst into tears
in front of a mirror.

And so I struggled

with body dysmorphia
and anorexia.

I was very young.
I had no confidence.

So, it was crushing.
I still struggle with it.

I think that as much
as "Playboy" for so long

was seen as
the ideal beauty standard

for young women,

a specific issue
is the fact that

with younger college age girls,

that it's entirely possible that

when they're making these
choices to pose for "Playboy,"

they might not understand

the potential consequences
of that choice.

Young women grow up feeling
like,

"Oh, that's what
I'm supposed to look like,

and if I don't look that way,

there's something wrong
with me."

I was sitting home
on a Saturday evening,

and the local evening news
came on.

They had a camera crew
and a reporter

at the Concourse Hotel
to cover "Playboy" auditioning

for "Girls of the Big Ten."

Ron said, "Think of it.
It'd be an adventure."

So, the next day, I went to
the audition down at the hotel.

I walked into the bedroom.

That's where
the audition takes place.

David Chan, who was their famous
"Girls of..." photographer,

welcomed me in, told me to shut
the door behind me.

And then he said,
"Take off your clothes."

No get to know ya.
No conversation.

Just, "Hello. Welcome.
Take off your clothes."

I knew I was a prude,
but still, I wasn't nervous.

I wasn't scared.
I was mostly just curious.

And then he said,
Get up on the dresser.

So I just
hopped up on the dresser,

And he snapped,
and it didn't take very long,

and they just said,
"We'll let you know."

At that time, it was just
all about having the experience

of auditioning
and going on my merry way.

That evening, the phone rings,
and it's David Chan.

He said, "We'd like you
to be in the magazine.

We'd like to shoot tomorrow."

I cupped the phone. I said
"Ron, it's--it's 'Playboy.'

It's David Chan. He--
He wants me to be in it."

He goes, "Tell him yes."

I said, "Okay."

So, I did not have
any time to think about it.

The photo shoot took place
in a frat house.

Two frat boys vacated
their room for the day.

All the pics took place
on their bunk bed,

and most of the shots,
I was on all fours,

and David Chan would say,

"Now suck in your stomach.

Okay, suck in your stomach
more than that.

Okay, now stick your butt out.
Stick your butt out.

Okay, now turn your head
toward me and smile."

And I said to him,
"You contort yourself like this

and crack a smile."

And he said,
"The object is to look so sexy

and so inviting
so that men can have fantasies

that you're actually
wanting them."

In that moment,

what hit me the most
was the whole dichotomy.

You're supposed to
project this hotness,

but you're also not supposed
to be that kind of girl.

The positions
were very bad-girlish.

That wasn't really me.

I liked the rock 'n' roll
kind of look,

but there was
a kind of sluttiness

that I didn't like.

At the time,
I never thought anything about

what would happen
when the magazine came out.

This magazine will
probably exist somewhere

for a hundred years
in a library,

and they'll be able to go there
and look you up

in all your nubile glory.

It's their own decision.
If--If they want to pose,

it shouldn't affect the school
in any way.

REPORTER:
Some, though, disagree.

It's totally degrading,
you know, for the women.

I don't like "Playboy" Magazine.

I don't agree with the things
that they have in it.

I think it's very sexist.

Um, I think
it's a pretty good idea.

You know, there are plenty of
pretty girls around here who,

if they want to show it, can,
but I think the whole campus

might get a bad idea
about that girl if she did.

The expectations of beauty
in "Playboy"

really focus on young women

in their late teens
and into their 20s, right?

The sort of college years.

And the first "Girls of College"
feature was in 1977,

and it featured
the "Girls of the Big Ten."

And posing for "Playboy"
in college can be transgressive.

It can be rebellious.
It can be fun.

But at that age,
we don't necessarily

understand the long-term
consequences of our decisions,

because the problem is
we still live in a culture

that judges women
for their sexuality.

So, you're taking
your clothes off in "Playboy."

A lot of people are gonna attach
particular meaning

to your actions.

We don't judge the men
for buying the "Playboy"s,

but we judge the women
for posing for "Playboy."

The hypocrisy

and the double standard
is stunning.

At the time of the shoot,
unbeknownst to me,

"Playboy" had sent 8x10 glossies

of my face
and my unlisted telephone number

to the local newspapers.

So, a reporter
called Sunny Schubert

from
the "Wisconsin State Journal"

called and asked could we meet
for coffee and do an interview?

Sunny and I met for coffee.

Then that Saturday,
the article came out,

and it was so mean.

"Michelle Mislivicek,
a real person,

not one of
those plastic preppies."

And she's being,
of course, facetious.

She's saying
that I am very plastic,

but I really wasn't.

The whole gist was
to make me look stupid,

to make me look vacuous.

I'm not bragging. I was just
"known as one of the brainiacs."

And so, it was crushing
to be painted as dumb.

After I posed for the magazine,
I expected that hardly anybody

would see the picture,
would notice that it was me.

But when the article

in the Saturday
Feature section came out,

I knew that everyone
in Dane County, Wisconsin,

is gonna know
I was in "Playboy."

You couldn't miss my face.
It was huge.

I thought to myself,
two weeks from the appearance

of that feature article,
Ron and I were getting married.

The minister called and said,

"I cannot marry you
since your fiancée

took her clothes off
and appeared in 'Playboy.'"

The magazine
wasn't even out yet,

and now we have no one
to perform the ceremony.

in the middle
of peak wedding season.

The wire services
picked up the news

that the pastor refused
to do the ceremony.

So, we scrambled, and we were
able to find a judge

that went around
and did ceremonies.

Then the magazine came out.

We got our subscription,
and then I saw the picture.

[pages rustling]

I've always been grateful

that I had that much covered

but been very uncomfortable
with the pose.

Yeah, I guess it does...

It certainly reeks
of subjugation. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was happy that the picture
was not totally nude

and that it was very small.

It's only this big by this big,

but something that small
can make people go so crazy.

I was a receptionist for
a local convenience store chain.

I went into work, and people
were looking at me strange.

I was called into
the president's office.

He said, "What you have done
is disgracing our company."

I said,
"You sell the magazine."

Firing me would be
really hypocritical.

In the meantime,
"Playboy" called

and said, the "Donahue Show"
is interested in having you on.

I went there because I was
very familiar with his show.

I knew Donahue was
going to be on our side.

And the topic
of the episode was,

"How much should religion
interfere with your life?"

Um, Michelle, what do you say
to those who say,

how can you possibly
present yourself in that way

in a magazine of this kind
and be a Christian, too?

Because I-I feel in my heart
that Jesus wouldn't--

wouldn't sit in judgment of me
for doing this.

The Bible was supposed
to be the word of God.

Did God ever publicly
condemn anyone?

He struck people dead
for those things.

There was so much judgment,
so much holier than thou.

I was judged, but in some ways
I also judged myself.

I thought that posing
in "Playboy"

would improve
my body dysmorphic disorder,

but it didn't quite
work out that way.

"Playboy" did
exacerbate that illness.

That picture was
just one day in my life.

And I wanted to keep that
forever and ever.

And so, I was obsessed
with the idea of wanting

to go back to my 102-pound self.

I struggled with
the not eating kind of anorexia

and the over-exercising kind
of anorexia.

My daughter--she's mostly
learned from my dysfunction,

and she wanted to feel more
comfortable in her own skin.

And she does, thank goodness.

But I never thought
posing in "Playboy"

when I was just
a college student

would have
all these consequences.

At the time
that I was in the magazine,

I was a double major--
economics and political science.

I intended to do
government work,

but after I appeared
in the magazine,

I knew very soon,

life in politics
or in government was over.

There were a lot of doors
that I knew were shut then.

It did.

You know, no one likes to have
choices taken away from them.

And I really wish I had been
more savvy then

about knowing what kind of harm
it was doing to women

and to women's self-esteem,

especially future forward

as somebody who was gonna be
the mother of a daughter.

"Playboy" Magazine is placing
an ad in campus newspapers

asking for models to appear
in a special fall issue

featuring the "Women of
the Atlantic Coast Conference."

The ad is creating
quite a stir on ACC campuses.

Some
outraged Chapel Hill women

are urging the other women
on campus to ignore it.

"Playboy" was used to being
protested against,

particularly by the late '60s,

when much
of American culture was

being influenced
by various protest movements.

So when the "Girls of College"
issues emerged,

protest was already
really prominent for "Playboy."

This is the Playboy ad
that ran on March 7, 1998.

I was 19 years old,
first year in college,

and I helped organize a protest
against "Playboy" Magazine,

recruiting for models
on UNC Chapel Hills campus.

I was born
in Madison, Wisconsin.

My family moved around a lot.
We ended up in North Carolina,

and the decision
to go to UNC was really easy.

It's a great school.

It was exciting to get to leave
home and go live on my own.

My first year of college,

I was the co-founder
of A.S.A.P.--

Advocates for Sexual Assault
Awareness and Prevention.

And me and a bunch of activists,

we wanted to put
on this Women's Week,

and each day was gonna be
devoted to, like,

Women's History Day,
Women's Health Day,

which took place in March 1998.

We had a professor come
from a university in Boston,

and she gave a slideshow
on pornography,

basically about how

the sexist, violent images
of women are harmful.

And the first image
that I remember is an image

of a woman being fed
into a meat grinder,

which was in "Hustler."

It's a spectrum.

"Playboy" is part
of a larger machine

that promoted
the commoditization

and objectification of women.

And the implication is
that women are ready

and available for sex anytime.

So, I think "Playboy" definitely
contributes to a rape culture.

So, the professor showed
a "Penthouse" spread

from December 1984

that showed Asian women
hanging from trees

that were bound and gagged,

heads falling forward,
possibly dead.

The professor said

in 1985, a young girl,
her name was Jean Fewel--

she's Asian,
she was being adopted,

was kidnapped
on her way to school,

and found bound
and hanging from a tree,

just like the magazine
right here in Chapel Hill.

She'd been sexually assaulted,
and the person

who was ultimately convicted
of her murder

was addicted to pornography
and had been found to be

in an adult bookstore
three days before that.

Hearing the story of Jean,
my friend burst into tears.

She is from Chapel Hill,

and she said,
"Jean was my friend."

And, like,
the trauma that I felt

radiating from her,
like, I was just pissed.

Deeply personal issues
really affected my way

of looking at the world
and women in the media.

I was the daughter
of a single mother.

Also, I had some deeply
traumatic things happen to me

when I was younger.

Yes, but not on campus.

When I was much younger.

It's an obvious question.

And I was like,
Do I want to talk about that?

I don't know what else to...

say about the assault
other than it happened,

and it...

You are forever part of a club

that no one wants to be
a part of.

So, 19-year-old me,

I was just ready to stand up
for what I believe in.

And so when the slideshow
was over, people were saying,

"What can we do?
Like, how can we stop this?"

I raised my hand and I said,

"Actually, I just saw an ad
in the student newspaper.

'Playboy'
is recruiting for models.

And I said we could try
to disrupt their photo shoot."

To be clear,
it is a woman's choice to do

what she wants with her body.

This protest was not
about the women who pose.

It was about "Playboy" Magazine

plus UNC's de facto endorsement
of "Playboy."

We tried to throw everything
we could into this protest.

We took their ad,
and we repurposed it.

This is our ad that says,

"Subvert 'Playboy'
coming to Chapel Hill.

Attention, wo/men,

ever fantasized about
realistic representations

of women in magazines?

Give 'Playboy'
a piece of your mind,

not just a piece of your body."

So, then we decided
we would get as

much negative publicity for
"Playboy" as we possibly could.

And it was a community effort.

It was grad students.
It was parents.

It was professors. Undergrads.

The day of the audition,
we met on campus.

We were a group of probably 50.

And then we marched
to the Carolina Inn,

where "Playboy" reps
were coming to do interviews.

We had 21 minutes of silence
for the 21 years

that "Playboy" had been printing
pictorials of college women.

And we had signs that said,

"It's not funny.
We're not Bunnies."

"The 'Playboy' Bunny
brings rotten eggs."

The cops came. We were
not breaking any rules.

We were absolutely,
like, legally allowed

to do what we were doing.

I wasn't intimidated by them.

I gave an interview
to the local news,

you know, said this thing about
destroying women's autonomy

and all of
these really big concepts.

I'm sick of violence
against women.

I'm sick of sexual assault.

I'm sick of institutions
that make that possible.

After that interview...

[laughs] I had no idea
what was about to happen.

The day
of the "Playboy" protest,

I gave an interview
to the local news.

I didn't think anything of it.

And then that night,
my friend Kevin--

he called me in my dorm room,

and he said,
"Do you watch 'The Daily Show'?"

And I was like, "No,
I don't even know what that is."

He's like, "Well, you need to
watch it 'cause you were on it."

And I just couldn't believe it.

And of course, there's no
playback at that point, right?

You didn't have DVR.

So my friend stayed up
all night watching TV

and taped it,
like the 5 a.m. rerun for me.

I watched it.
I was so embarrassed.

What is the sound
of one hand protesting?

[audience laughter]

"Playboy" Magazine,
the only porno mag

that's okay to leave out
when company's over...

-[laughter]
-...is casting its nets

into the vast sea of
barely legal boat show queens.

that is
the American college system

in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Oddly, there were
some protesters.

Also makes
very unwarranted assumptions

about men and their sexuality,

showing a man as
a dominator and a predator.

And so it's very disturbing.

Magazine agreed many of
the protesters had valid points

about female exploitation
and subjugation,

many of which will be addressed

in the upcoming
"Hot Protesters of the ACC."

[laughter and applause]

I was mortified.

I wasn't expecting to get
this guy who had all this power,

he has a huge platform,
to, like, focus on me,

and mocking me.

I was mortified.
I felt humiliated.

I felt like my image
was used against me.

Yeah, they took my face,

and they superimposed it
on the cover of "Playboy"

with the new caption,
"Hot Protesters of the ACC."

I was naive. I didn't know
that something that you say

in one news market
could make it, you know,

all the way up
to New York or L.A.,

and it really felt unfair.

It feels like bullying
to take a young woman

who's speaking her mind
about something

that's pretty serious
and making a joke out of it.

I was 19 years old.

I was ashamed for years.

People brought it up to me,
like strangers mentioned it.

It was hurtful.

Imagine, if you will, sitting
down to your morning coffee,

turning on your home computer
to read the day's newspaper.

Well, it's not as
far-fetched as it may seem.

REPORTER: It spans the globe
like a superhighway.

It is called Internet.

In 1981, only 213 computers
were hooked to the Internet.

As the new year begins,

an estimated two and a half
million computers

will be on the network,

serving as many
as 20 million people.

In the mid to late '90s,
the Internet is emerging,

and magazines like "Playboy"
have to deal with that

and figure out
how to exist within that space.

And so one of the things they
started doing was a cyber club.

So, you could have access online
to images that were similar

to what "Playboy" had presented
throughout its history.

But one of the things
that's different is that when

a woman chooses to pose
for the cyber club,

those images are available
to virtually anyone, anytime.

And so the potential
for negative consequences

or judgment just becomes
that much more significant.

I grew up in a small town about
two hours northeast of Dallas.

I started fashion modeling
when I was around 12.

There's a modeling school
in Dallas.

and I went there and did
a few of their courses,

and then I started shooting
with some local photographers.

My first memory of "Playboy"
is seeing "Girls Next Door."

Of course,
when I saw the show

and the girls
and the glamour and all that,

I definitely wanted to be
a part of that whole shebang.

When I was 17,

around the time that I was going
to college to be a teacher,

I started shooting with
a photographer named Jose Luis,

and we started by doing
some test shoots together.

He did a lot of, like,
glamour shoots

with nude models and stuff.

So when I turned 18,

I told him that
I wanted to do a nude shoot.

You know,
the goal was "Playboy."

Then Jose called me one day
and said,

"Hey, I've been doing
some work for 'Playboy.'

Do you want to do a photo shoot?

Maybe we can do
a photo submission

and see if they purchase it."

So, that was
my first "Playboy" shoot,

and I was really excited for it.

When Jose called me and
told me that they had purchased

the submission to put it
on Playboy Plus,

the online version of Playboy,

I think initially
I was so in shock.

I didn't really have any
feelings. I was just like, wow.

This was from my first shoot
with "Playboy."

When I logged in and saw myself
on Playboy Plus,

I was very proud.

And then pretty soon after that,

I did a couple more shoots
for Playboy Plus.

I felt great. [laughs]
It was super exciting. Yeah.

But I had no idea that because
I had posed in college,

things were going to get crazy.

This one's one of my favorites.
It's a little blurry.

At the time I posed
for Playboy Plus in college,

I was really excited
to be a part of it.

When
my various shoots came out,

I definitely posted a lot
of the pictures on social media.

All my friends and classmates
knew that I had done "Playboy,"

and people were happy for me.

Honestly, I think that one
of the reasons why in college

I wanted to model
and do "Playboy" so bad

is because I was bullied
in high school for my acne.

So, you know, after all
those years of not fitting in

and just not feeling so great
about myself

to have such
a positive response online...

it felt nice.

[mouse clicks]

So, I posed for "Playboy"
as a coed,

graduated with my degree at 20,
and then at 21,

I got hired
at a magnet school in Dallas,

close to downtown,

to teach high school Spanish
grades nine through 12.

Before I started teaching,

in the back of my mind,
I was always thinking, like,

you know, I did do "Playboy,"

and I don't want
these kids to find out.

So, I went to thrift shops,
and I bought, like,

the most grandma-looking
clothes I could. [laughs]

Also, I deleted all of
the photos from my social media

anywhere where I had posted
pictures of myself modeling,

I had taken them down.

But then I thought that because
I had done it before,

it wouldn't really matter.

I had been teaching
two or three months,

and I came into class one day,

and it was before school
had started,

and a few of my students
came in to the classroom.

It was a group of them,
three or four girls,

and they came to my desk,
and one of them was like,

"Ms. Deweese,
uh, we need to talk to you."

Said, "Okay, yeah, sure.
What's going on?"

And she goes,

"Well, the other day
when you were sick,

We tried to find you online

so we could, you know,
send you, like,

a "get well soon" message.

And we Googled your name,
and we found your pictures."

And I said, "Oh, what pictures?

And she goes, "All of them."

Yeah, all of them.

And I said, "Okay.
So, who all knows?"

And she goes, "Everybody.

Like, a few of the students
got ahold of them,

and they've been posting them
on Twitter,

and they've just been,
like, circulating around."

And I said,
"Thanks for telling me,"

And I started teaching
the class,

and I had gotten maybe
five minutes into my lesson

when my principal
called me into her office.

And she's like, "I don't
really care about the pictures.

It's something
that you did before,

but I am going to have
to check with the district

and see how
they want me to move forward."

She called me back the same day,

and she told me
that the district

didn't really have any
other disciplinary action for me

and that if there were any
parents who were uncomfortable,

they would move the students
from my class

to another teacher.

So I was like,
"Okay, everything's good."

Soon after,
my principal told me

that there was
one particular mother

who was very upset
about these pictures.

And the mother said,

"Well, what are you gonna do
about the teacher?"

And my principal told her,
"I can't discuss that with you.

It's a personnel matter."

So, then the mom got mad,

and she contacted
all the news stations.

Soon after that,
I was told that I needed

to leave the campus because
it was gonna be really crazy.

Here's a question for you.

Is it okay to be
a "Playboy" model

before you become a teacher?

Right now, the answer
for Cristy Nicole Deweese is no.

Parents of her students

complained
about Deweese's modeling.

REPORTER: Deweese hasn't been
back in the classroom

since her secret got out,

and it's not clear
if she ever will return.

They were going
to put me on leave,

and they thought it would
maybe be, like, a couple weeks

before I could come back.

It was a rough time.
It was pretty stressful.

It was kind of scary.

The news stations were
showing up at my house.

I remember my stepdad going
to the door, and it just being,

like, random people out there
trying to talk to me.

And people were
constantly blowing up my phone.

I was like, I don't even know
how they got my phone number.

People were
threatening me online.

People were calling me
all kinds of names.

It was hurtful because
a lot of the assumptions

and things that they were
saying about me weren't true.

Um, that I was a slut,
that I was stupid.

That there was no way
that I could be a good teacher

because I had posed
in "Playboy."

REPORTER: The school district
is keeping quiet so far,

but students and parents
have both been speaking out.

It was just a lot going on,
but at the time,

I still thought that I was
gonna have my job.

She's not provocative.
She's not anything.

She's, like,
a really good teacher.

My students actually
created a petition

to try to get me to keep my job.

But then
the district office told me

that there was just
too much pressure from the media

and that they were
gonna have to let me go.

She can't give tests
because we saw her breasts.

A Dallas school district

has fired
a 21-year-old Spanish teacher

because she posed nude
for "Playboy" back in 2011.

It really was like a witch hunt,
and I didn't understand why.

After I was fired,
I was definitely sad.

I was really liking teaching.
It's what I had studied for.

It was what I had seen myself
doing long term.

I was a good teacher.

The students
loved being in my class.

They learned a lot.

Because I was bullied,
I cared about providing, like,

a loving environment for them,

and all of a sudden
that was being taken away

just because I posed
for "Playboy" in college.

Even though at the time, I tried
to ignore a lot of the outrage,

honestly,
I was pretty mad about it.

I don't feel like
I deserve to be fired

from my job as a teacher for
posing in "Playboy" in college.

And I'm not really sure
why that one mom cared so much.

The issue was solved by her son
being out of my classroom.

It was no longer gonna
affect her or her child,

but I guess she had some
strong opinion about me being

naked on the Internet
and wanted me to lose my job.

Obviously, getting fired
was very stressful,

but it was more traumatic to
have the news media hounding me.

And there were
several people online

making a lot
of negative comments about me.

I didn't feel like I had
really done anything that would

make me deserve that kind
of treatment.

Because I do live in Texas,
I'm in the Bible Belt,

so I wasn't completely

blindsided by
people's conservative reactions.

I think, you know,

there was a lot of religious
influence on the decision,

and I was kind of expecting

there to be some outrage
from that group of people.

It would have been nice

had "Playboy" made a supportive
statement or something,

but they didn't reach out
at all.

But I don't think
that posing for "Playboy"

was worthy
of that much attention.

I think it was blown way
out of proportion. It was a lot.

When I was in "Playboy,"
back at that time,

we didn't have Twitter,
we didn't have Facebook,

we didn't have likes
and that kind of feedback.

But there was enough publicity
to feel the powerlessness

of being in the center of
other people's conversation.

And I think now I would fight
against anybody

who wanted to cancel me

in the ways
people did at that time.

My experience
protesting "Playboy"

was deeply distressing to me,

but I would still do it again.

Because it was
the first time I really saw,

you can make change.
You can speak up.

We couldn't really
finish the conversation,

but we started it.

And I think it was
a really important conversation

to be had.

"Playboy" coming into campus
was 25 years ago.

When I think
if this could happen now,

I think there would be
a lot more outrage about it,

and it might still happen,

but I think
the response would be stronger.

I think it's progress.

I have to believe it's progress.

"Playboy" is just a very
complicated package of ideas.

We can't ignore the fact
that "Playboy" was a magazine

that was explicit in its support
for the civil rights movement,

for free speech,

separation of church and state,

gay rights.

But at the same time,
I think that "Playboy"

absolutely embodied a lot
of sexism, even misogyny.

And we like to think that women
can make free sexual choices,

but we can't,
because our choices are always

judged within a culture that is
very sexist and patriarchal.

So, a young college age girl

takes her clothes off
for "Playboy." We judge her.

Her peer on campus protests
"Playboy." We judge her.

When it comes to sex,
women can't win.

When I agreed to do
season one of this show,

I really did not anticipate
saying as much as I did.

It tore me apart from my family.

Hugh Hefner was not
a predator to me. He was family.

When people found out
my mom had dated Hugh Hefner

and was the "Playboy" model,
I was told,

"Oh, your mom's a glorified
prostitute. You're a slut."

I should be able to tell
my story as I lived it,

not somebody else's idea
of what it was.