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1
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,048
Hey.
2
00:00:34,049 --> 00:00:36,351
Hey, what's up, man?
Hey, you guys remember Steve,
3
00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:38,103
the guy I worked with
at the pizzeria?
4
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,387
No.
No.
5
00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:41,606
Remember how he moved
to Vegas a couple years ago?
6
00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:43,208
Yes, Danny.
I don't remember Steve,
7
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:46,394
but I have a very clear memory
of where he moved.
8
00:00:46,395 --> 00:00:47,779
Well, the guy's
a real big shot now
9
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,732
and he works for a hotel that
looks like something in Europe.
10
00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:53,535
Uh, a pyramid, I think.
11
00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:54,903
And?
12
00:00:54,904 --> 00:00:58,406
And he still has his classic
corvette garaged here in Queens.
13
00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:01,075
He said if I drive it
out to Vegas for him,
14
00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:03,795
he'll hook us up.
Free hotel, free food.
15
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:05,246
Are you serious?
Yes, yes!
16
00:01:05,247 --> 00:01:08,082
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
17
00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:09,818
Is this for real, or is this
just another one
18
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,837
of your desperate ploys
to be liked?
19
00:01:12,838 --> 00:01:15,006
No, this one's
totally legit.
20
00:01:15,007 --> 00:01:17,742
Wait a minute. We don't have
to act as drug mules, do we?
21
00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:20,244
I mean, I'll do it.
I just need prep time.
22
00:01:20,245 --> 00:01:22,397
No, no, no.
This is no strings attached.
23
00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:23,849
I pick up the car
on Tuesday,
24
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:24,883
I drive it out there.
25
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,851
You guys fly out and meet me.
26
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:28,069
Who's in?
27
00:01:28,070 --> 00:01:29,154
I'm in.
I'm in.
28
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:31,272
Well, let's just say
I'm all in.
29
00:01:31,273 --> 00:01:32,607
I just gotta
run it by Kelly.
30
00:01:36,111 --> 00:01:37,412
Don't you have
to ask Carrie?
31
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:39,914
Actually, yeah, I do.
32
00:01:39,915 --> 00:01:41,566
I don't have to ask anyone
permission.
33
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,368
That's why I'm single.
34
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,837
Yeah, that's why.
35
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:47,505
Are you sure you can
get this by Carrie?
36
00:01:47,506 --> 00:01:50,408
I mean, she wouldn't even let
you buy those walkie-talkies.
37
00:01:50,409 --> 00:01:51,659
Hey, that's not over,
38
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:54,229
and, yeah, I can handle Carrie
when I need to.
39
00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:56,748
You know what? I gotta pick
her up at her salon at 5.
40
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,049
I'll just say somethin' like,
41
00:01:58,050 --> 00:01:59,784
"Carrie, have I told you
42
00:01:59,785 --> 00:02:02,487
you look even more beautiful
than the day I met you?"
43
00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:03,921
She'll melt like butter,
44
00:02:03,922 --> 00:02:07,192
and then it's hello,
angry drunken gambling.
45
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,444
Yes!
46
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:11,596
Carrie,
have I told you
47
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:14,699
you look even more beautiful
than the day I met you?
48
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,267
What's that?
49
00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:18,903
You want me to go to Vegas
for the weekend?
50
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:21,472
Okay.
51
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:25,794
Double-stuffed apple pie.
52
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:28,613
I heard they were working
on something like that.
53
00:02:38,774 --> 00:02:41,593
Yes, I'd like to try
your new double-stuffed
54
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:42,861
fudge-covered apple pie.
55
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:45,263
Will that be all?
56
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:46,964
You know, as long
as you got the grill on,
57
00:02:46,965 --> 00:02:50,318
I'll take a double whammer
with cheese.
58
00:03:05,384 --> 00:03:07,419
Come on.
59
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:11,623
Okay. Yeah, yeah, napkins.
Okay, yeah.
60
00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,231
Uh, could we hurry
this up, please?
61
00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:21,900
I- I really need
to get going.
62
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:22,833
Oh, the pie's
not ready.
63
00:03:22,834 --> 00:03:23,934
They have to heat the fudge
64
00:03:23,935 --> 00:03:25,603
because it's too thick to pour.
65
00:03:26,939 --> 00:03:29,174
Too thick to...
66
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:30,942
I'll wait.
67
00:03:50,779 --> 00:03:52,813
Hey. How's it going?
68
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:56,918
Where the hell
have you been?
69
00:03:56,919 --> 00:03:59,054
There was a huge accident
way back.
70
00:03:59,055 --> 00:04:00,355
Like, three tractor trailers
71
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:02,924
hit another tractor trailer.
It was, like, jackknifed,
72
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:05,610
and there were, like,
people lined up for miles.
73
00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:07,745
And they, uh- The cops came
and it was a whole-
74
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:09,330
They gotta put in
a light over there.
75
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:11,950
What?
76
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,353
Is that fudge
on your face?
77
00:04:20,359 --> 00:04:22,727
How the hell
did that get there?
78
00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:25,062
Did you stop for fudge?
79
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,566
Have I told you
you're more beautiful
80
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,468
than the day I met you?
81
00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:37,592
I can't believe you screwed up
our whole Vegas plan
82
00:04:37,593 --> 00:04:39,511
for fudge.
83
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:42,697
Again, it was too thick
84
00:04:42,698 --> 00:04:44,916
to pour.
85
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:49,019
I just bought a very expensive
neck pillow
86
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:52,657
and now I have nowhere to fly.
Thanks a lot.
87
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:54,041
Look, we can sit
around here all day
88
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:56,076
trying to decide
who's at fault, okay?
89
00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:57,445
But I say we work
on a solution.
90
00:04:57,446 --> 00:04:59,397
The solution was not to hit
the drive-through
91
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:01,366
and leave your wife
in the rain.
92
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,018
Yeah? Tell it
to the belly, okay?
93
00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:06,121
Look, it's not that bad.
I didn't even ask her yet.
94
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:09,290
I just gotta figure a way
to get back on her good side,
95
00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:12,544
build up enough credit so she
forgets the whole rain thing.
96
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:13,745
No, man, that just
gets you even.
97
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,330
You gotta earn extra credit
to get us to Vegas.
98
00:05:16,331 --> 00:05:18,750
You know,
you might be right.
99
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,285
Gosh, I need something huge.
100
00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:24,355
You know, something nice,
thoughtful.
101
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:25,790
Something sensitive.
102
00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:27,625
Something almost gay.
103
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:31,896
What do you got?
104
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,765
Well,
105
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,685
you could take her
to a wellness spa.
106
00:05:37,686 --> 00:05:40,271
That sounds pretty gay.
107
00:05:40,272 --> 00:05:41,873
What is it?
108
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,374
It's a place where they
rejuvenate you
109
00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:45,843
spiritually and physically.
I went to one in the Poconos.
110
00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:47,512
They have a great
couples package.
111
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:48,413
Couples?
112
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,682
Well, not only couples
in a sense
113
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,083
of two married
or dating people.
114
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:54,085
It could be a couple
of friends, or uh-
115
00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:56,254
Son and his mother.
116
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,322
We had separate beds.
117
00:05:58,323 --> 00:06:00,658
That sounds like something
Carrie would love
118
00:06:00,659 --> 00:06:02,427
and it would get you
the credit you need.
119
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,962
Yeah, it's just the whole idea
of wellness.
120
00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:06,230
It just sounds wrong.
121
00:06:06,231 --> 00:06:07,932
Ah. Hey, don't worry about it.
122
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:11,202
The wellness will bounce off you
like bullets off Superman.
123
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:14,154
You know what? You're right.
Three days at a wellness center
124
00:06:14,155 --> 00:06:16,891
can't put a dent in me.
125
00:06:16,892 --> 00:06:19,811
I use bacon
as a condiment.
126
00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:27,735
Hey, Arthur.
Is Doug here?
127
00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:29,853
No. He and Carrie
left for the weekend.
128
00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:32,073
Oh, that's right. I was gonna
ask him something
129
00:06:32,074 --> 00:06:34,208
about our Vegas trip.
130
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:36,777
You're going to Vegas?
Las Vegas?
131
00:06:36,778 --> 00:06:38,045
Yeah.
132
00:06:38,046 --> 00:06:39,881
I got a foolproof
card-counting system
133
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:41,281
to beat the house
at blackjack.
134
00:06:41,282 --> 00:06:42,717
Works every time.
135
00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,769
If you've got this
winning system,
136
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:48,573
why do you still live
in Doug's basement?
137
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:52,243
Why haven't you paid me back
the $37 you owe me?
138
00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:54,512
You want
your filthy money, fine.
139
00:06:54,513 --> 00:06:58,817
Let's settle this thing
once and for all.
140
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,353
You wanna learn
the system or not?
141
00:07:02,354 --> 00:07:03,688
Yeah.
142
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,873
The fee is $37.
143
00:07:12,247 --> 00:07:14,348
And this will be your living
space for the weekend
144
00:07:14,349 --> 00:07:15,816
and you don't need a key.
145
00:07:15,817 --> 00:07:18,553
Here at the Zen Wellness Center,
we don't believe in locks.
146
00:07:18,554 --> 00:07:20,320
Oh. Maybe you should,
147
00:07:20,321 --> 00:07:22,089
'cause it looks like
you've been robbed.
148
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,545
I gotta tell ya,
I ain't hatin' this.
149
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,266
So, uh, is the TV
in the other room,
150
00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:34,385
or does it pop out
of something?
151
00:07:34,386 --> 00:07:35,703
There's no TV.
152
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,405
We believe that
TV is the gateway
153
00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:40,658
to negative thoughts
and sadness.
154
00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:44,028
Not if you have
the football package.
155
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,796
Honey. You're gonna
love the bathroom.
156
00:07:45,797 --> 00:07:48,366
They have a tub you can land
a plane in.
157
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,884
Ah. That sound like
a lot of fun.
158
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:00,894
So is the,
uh, TV in the bar?
159
00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:03,881
We don't have a bar.
160
00:08:03,882 --> 00:08:07,552
I need to speak
to your supervisor.
161
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,238
Well, here's a list
of our treatment options.
162
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,140
Have a wonderful stay.
163
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:14,575
Okay.
164
00:08:14,576 --> 00:08:15,760
Okay, honey,
165
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,696
to avoid a repeat of
the honeymoon incident,
166
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:21,232
the second thing in there
is not a toilet.
167
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:24,602
It's a bidet.
168
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,036
Okay, thanks
for the heads-up.
169
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:28,272
You're gonna love this place.
Look at this.
170
00:08:28,273 --> 00:08:30,725
Aroma therapy,
shiatsu massage,
171
00:08:30,726 --> 00:08:32,460
and to bring it
all home,
172
00:08:32,461 --> 00:08:34,645
colon irrigation.
173
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,431
How great
is this place, huh?
174
00:08:37,432 --> 00:08:38,849
No, it's great.
It's pretty great.
175
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:41,135
Just one question, though.
What's goin' on?
176
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:43,370
What do you mean?
177
00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:45,523
Well, the whole taking me away
to a spa for a weekend
178
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:46,891
doesn't really sync up
179
00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:49,727
with the rest
of our marriage.
180
00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,912
What, a husband can't do
something nice for his wife
181
00:08:51,913 --> 00:08:52,930
just to do it?
182
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:54,382
Well, somethin's goin' on.
Oh.
183
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:55,917
I see.
Something's got to be going on
184
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:57,985
for me to do something nice?
Is that how it works?
185
00:08:57,986 --> 00:09:01,105
Something's gotta be going on.
186
00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:03,458
Look, Doug, I didn't mean it
that way, okay?
187
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,292
It's just, I'm surprised,
that's all.
188
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:07,145
Well, did it ever occur to you
that I'm trying
189
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:10,114
to be a better man?
190
00:09:12,117 --> 00:09:14,402
A new and improved
Doug, huh?
191
00:09:14,403 --> 00:09:16,287
You know what?
Just forget it.
192
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,205
Look, honey,
I just thought-
193
00:09:18,206 --> 00:09:21,042
Yeah, it's pretty clear
what you thought.
194
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:24,978
Doug, I'm sorry, honey.
195
00:09:24,979 --> 00:09:27,448
This was a very sweet thing
for you to do
196
00:09:27,449 --> 00:09:29,283
and I love the new
and improved Doug.
197
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:31,419
Just trying to make you happy.
And I am happy. I am.
198
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,054
That's what
a relationship's about,
199
00:09:33,055 --> 00:09:34,973
making each other happy, yeah?
Yes.
200
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,307
If something that made me happy,
201
00:09:36,308 --> 00:09:37,892
I'm sure you'd want me
to do it.
202
00:09:37,893 --> 00:09:40,361
Of course, I would.
Of course, you would.
203
00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:44,465
These are the moments,
honey, we gotta remember.
204
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,576
The cards you wanna count are
the tens, jacks, queens, kings.
205
00:09:55,577 --> 00:09:57,244
Okay, I got that.
So you can communicate
206
00:09:57,245 --> 00:09:59,613
without arousing suspicion,
each card has a nickname.
207
00:09:59,614 --> 00:10:01,215
Say hello
to Alfred Lord Tennyson,
208
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:02,549
Johnny Switchblade,
209
00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:05,586
Mississippi Mabel,
and The Farmer in the Dell.
210
00:10:05,587 --> 00:10:09,340
Aren't there shorter names
that make sense?
211
00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:10,691
This is the system.
212
00:10:10,692 --> 00:10:13,493
Why can't you be
more like Rain Man?
213
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,815
Oh- Okay, those-
Those names are fine.
214
00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:21,085
Now, sometimes your eyes
can give you away.
215
00:10:21,086 --> 00:10:24,889
So I want you
to wear these.
216
00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:35,483
Why are you wearing
gym stuff?
217
00:10:35,484 --> 00:10:38,286
They told me to when I signed up
for the men's package.
218
00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:40,654
Oh, I signed up for
the relaxation package.
219
00:10:40,655 --> 00:10:42,040
What's the difference?
220
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,273
Aagh!
Breathe, breathe,
221
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:44,341
Find your center.
222
00:10:44,342 --> 00:10:46,878
I can't feel my center.
223
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,528
Mmm.
224
00:10:50,665 --> 00:10:52,116
Oh, come-
225
00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:53,217
Oh, come on.
226
00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:56,354
Reach back and grab your heel.
227
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,541
Okay, and seven more.
228
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:02,944
Six, and five, and four,
and three-
229
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:04,278
You can do two more!
Come-
230
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:39,313
This better be good.
231
00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:41,733
Hey, Doug, it's me.
How's the spa thing going?
232
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,685
It's brutal.
They're killing me here.
233
00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:46,020
Come on.
It can't be that bad.
234
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:48,555
Tomorrow, I'm scheduled for them
to pour coffee
235
00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:51,225
into a part of my body
where it doesn't belong.
236
00:11:53,028 --> 00:11:55,129
I'm telling you, man,
I'm out of here.
237
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:57,264
But Danny's already driving.
238
00:11:57,265 --> 00:11:58,732
You have to stick it out...
239
00:11:58,733 --> 00:12:00,801
for Vegas.
240
00:12:02,104 --> 00:12:03,421
I can't do it.
241
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:04,655
You can.
Now come on, man.
242
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:08,126
Gambling, buffets,
free drinks.
243
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,293
I just can't do it.
244
00:12:09,294 --> 00:12:11,195
You know what I heard
just opened up?
245
00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:14,098
A topless doughnut shop.
246
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:23,841
A topless doughnut shop?
247
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:26,677
Do they make 'em fresh?
248
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:28,946
Every hour.
249
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:34,652
All right.
I'm back in...
250
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,654
for Vegas.
251
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:50,668
May I take your car, sir?
Oh, hey.
252
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,553
Uh, yeah.
That'd be great.
253
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:20,931
How could you
possibly think
254
00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:25,036
there'd be valet parking
at a diner in Kutztown, Ohio?
255
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,771
I have never been
to Ohio.
256
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:30,041
I don't know
the local customs.
257
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:31,392
I got all this credit
with Carrie
258
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,377
and nothin' to use it on.
259
00:13:33,378 --> 00:13:35,262
Why don't you just save it
and put it in the bank
260
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:36,897
and use it
for another thing?
261
00:13:36,898 --> 00:13:38,666
You can't put
wife credit in the bank.
262
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,734
Why not?
It's like a piece of fish.
263
00:13:40,735 --> 00:13:43,855
As soon as you get it,
it starts going bad.
264
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:47,024
He's right.
With each passing minute,
265
00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:49,227
Carrie's forgetting
all about that spa.
266
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,929
I gotta use that credit quick
or it's gonna be gone.
267
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:54,798
What do I wanna do?
What could be fun?
268
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:56,634
Help me find something fun.
269
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,385
Well, come on, look.
Um...
270
00:13:58,386 --> 00:14:00,187
Oh, hey,
the Lipizzaner Stallions
271
00:14:00,188 --> 00:14:02,874
are coming
to the equestrian center.
272
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:06,026
Great. You and Mommy
can have a good time.
273
00:14:09,414 --> 00:14:11,532
What?
Ah. "Garfield. "
274
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,034
Hey, hey,
how about this?
275
00:14:14,035 --> 00:14:17,204
Tony Orlando's doing a show
right here in Queens.
276
00:14:20,175 --> 00:14:24,228
I'm just saying
the man had a lot of hits.
277
00:14:24,229 --> 00:14:27,431
Still. Keep looking.
278
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:35,773
Phew.
279
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,608
Arthur, what are we doing here?
280
00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:40,694
I thought you said we were gonna
go see the Lipizzaner Stallions.
281
00:14:40,695 --> 00:14:42,112
We clean out this place,
you can buy
282
00:14:42,113 --> 00:14:44,615
all the high-steppin'
horses you want.
283
00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:46,550
This casino night
is for charity.
284
00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:47,618
It doesn't feel right.
285
00:14:47,619 --> 00:14:49,252
Look, you blew
your shot at Vegas,
286
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:51,939
but that doesn't mean all our
hard work should go to waste.
287
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:54,725
Now, let's light
this candle.
288
00:14:59,397 --> 00:15:01,999
I read three books
by Alfred Lord Tennyson.
289
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,467
In one of them,
Mississippi Mabel
290
00:15:03,468 --> 00:15:06,236
and The Farmer in the Dell
had a double date.
291
00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:08,605
Hit me.
292
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,594
Twenty-one.
Another winner.
293
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,782
Spence Olchin,
is that you?
294
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:20,534
Oh, Father Sheehan, hi.
295
00:15:20,535 --> 00:15:23,821
Why don't you take a break?
I'll deal for a while.
296
00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:26,324
Haven't seen you in confession
in a while, Spence.
297
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,193
Uh, I've been
doing it online.
298
00:15:30,461 --> 00:15:32,129
Ah. Blackjack.
299
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,130
Ha-ha! Yeah, yeah!
300
00:15:33,131 --> 00:15:35,216
And the rich get richer.
301
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:56,904
Oh, God, I can't
take it anymore!
302
00:15:56,905 --> 00:15:59,190
I- I've been cheating.
I've been counting cards.
303
00:15:59,191 --> 00:16:02,659
Here, take my chips.
Please forgive me, Father.
304
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,866
Well, it appears
this seat is open.
305
00:16:11,069 --> 00:16:14,839
I'm gonna need
a line of credit.
306
00:16:17,175 --> 00:16:18,475
Kelly's lettin' you go?
307
00:16:18,476 --> 00:16:20,443
All right. Well,
it's gonna be awesome, Deac.
308
00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:23,464
I'm home.
Yeah, you know what?
309
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,032
Carrie's here.
Uh, I'll call you back
310
00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:26,967
as soon as I get
the thumbs up.
311
00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:29,887
Hey, there's
my special little gal.
312
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,972
That was Deac on the phone.
Oh, I had the worst day.
313
00:16:31,973 --> 00:16:34,692
He just happened- Yeah.
Where's our aspirin?
314
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,260
Oh, good. Here it is.
315
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,294
What happened?
316
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:38,729
Ah, work was a nightmare,
317
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,398
and on the way home,
the subway stalled
318
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,899
and I was wedged up
against some guy
319
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,901
who was morally
opposed to showering.
320
00:16:45,053 --> 00:16:48,289
So I just feel
pretty crappy.
321
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,140
Well, I don't want you
to feel crappy.
322
00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:51,441
I want you to feel good.
323
00:16:51,442 --> 00:16:53,844
You know, like you felt
when I took you to that spa.
324
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:56,313
Huh? Oh, right, that.
Compared to the day I had today,
325
00:16:56,314 --> 00:16:58,916
the spa feels like
that was 1000 years ago.
326
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,535
Yeah, but it wasn't.
327
00:17:01,536 --> 00:17:03,537
It was just
this past weekend.
328
00:17:03,538 --> 00:17:05,205
Hey, I got an idea.
329
00:17:05,206 --> 00:17:06,573
Why don't we get you
back to that
330
00:17:06,574 --> 00:17:10,094
relaxed spa frame
of mind right now?
331
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,029
No, honey, I just wanna
go upstairs and get the smell
332
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,848
of unwashed hippie
out of my nose, okay?
333
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,833
Come on. I'll just
give you a quick little massage
334
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,467
here on the couch.
It'll be nice.
335
00:17:17,468 --> 00:17:18,568
Oh, okay.
336
00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:21,038
Yeah, sit right down.
337
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,139
Thank you, honey.
338
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:24,307
There you go.
339
00:17:24,308 --> 00:17:25,308
Okay.
340
00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,377
Oh, how does
that feel, huh?
341
00:17:27,378 --> 00:17:28,746
Feels good.
Good.
342
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:29,913
This is really sweet of you.
343
00:17:29,914 --> 00:17:31,615
No problem.
You know what?
344
00:17:31,616 --> 00:17:33,650
I got another
surprise for you.
345
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:36,920
You remember that
Sounds of the Ocean CD,
346
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:39,056
the relaxation one
they had at the spa?
347
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,290
Oh, you got it?
348
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,559
Nope.
349
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,762
But I don't need it.
350
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:21,165
What the hell was that?
351
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,850
It's-
It's a beach cat.
352
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:24,718
That's right.
It's a beach cat. Relax.
353
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:26,486
It feels good, doesn't it?
Yeah. Honey,
354
00:18:26,487 --> 00:18:28,722
I gotta tell you, you've been
really sweet lately.
355
00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:30,123
I like the new
and improved Doug.
356
00:18:30,124 --> 00:18:31,692
Well, you know what?
You deserve it.
357
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,445
Yeah? Well, how about
you come upstairs
358
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,880
and I show you the new
and improved Carrie?
359
00:18:36,881 --> 00:18:38,848
Oh. All right.
360
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,917
Wow.
361
00:18:40,918 --> 00:18:43,153
And, uh, how about tonight
we play
362
00:18:43,154 --> 00:18:46,990
"High Society Lady
and Sweaty Cabana Boy?"
363
00:18:49,343 --> 00:18:52,980
Really? But you said
what cabana boy wanna do
364
00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:55,866
no es bueno.
365
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,101
Well, since you did
the spa thing for me,
366
00:18:58,102 --> 00:19:00,904
I think I can
do this for you.
367
00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:04,375
Since I did the spa thing.
368
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:07,394
No, wait!
369
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:12,149
I believe I asked
for a margarita
370
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:16,187
and a fresh towel an hour ago,
Pepe. Where are they?
371
00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:20,307
I just don't think we should
do this right now, Carrie.
372
00:19:20,308 --> 00:19:21,992
Okay, my name is not Carrie.
373
00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:25,062
It's Penelope Van Smythe.
374
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:26,513
Now,
375
00:19:26,514 --> 00:19:28,749
get on the lounge chair,
376
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,251
you filthy cabana boy.
377
00:19:31,252 --> 00:19:32,870
Look, I just-
You know what it is?
378
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,721
I pulled a hammy on
the way up the stairs.
379
00:19:34,722 --> 00:19:37,107
Okay, okay, I get it. I get it.
Come on, take a rain check.
380
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,626
You're puttin' up a fight.
381
00:19:38,627 --> 00:19:40,110
Now, you stay
on this lounge chair,
382
00:19:40,111 --> 00:19:42,179
or I will have you fired, Pepe.
Okay. You know-
383
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,813
I don't wanna do this.
Stop it. I-
384
00:19:43,814 --> 00:19:45,049
Stop it!
What's the matter?
385
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:46,917
I don't wanna do it!
Why?
386
00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,319
I don't wanna waste
my credit on sex!
387
00:19:50,037 --> 00:19:52,223
What?
388
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,924
The credit I get for taking you
to the spa.
389
00:19:53,925 --> 00:19:55,959
I wanna use it to go
to the Indian Casino
390
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,163
to watch the Ultimate Fighting
Championship this weekend.
391
00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:04,234
Okay, let me see if I understand
this correctly.
392
00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:06,336
You only took me to the spa
393
00:20:06,337 --> 00:20:08,372
because you wanted
a credit
394
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,407
which you don't wanna waste
395
00:20:10,408 --> 00:20:12,776
by having sex with me?
396
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,698
It sounds bad when you lay it
out like that.
397
00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:19,849
Oh, my God, Doug!
I can't believe you!
398
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,618
There's no new
and improved Doug.
399
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:24,872
It's just the same old
selfish, lying Doug.
400
00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:28,125
I like to refer to it
as "Doug Classic. "
401
00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:30,760
Look, it doesn't matter
why I took you to the spa.
402
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:32,162
The point is,
you had a good time,
403
00:20:32,163 --> 00:20:34,214
and I should
get credit for that.
404
00:20:34,215 --> 00:20:38,018
Oh. Okay. Not only do you not
get any credit for the spa,
405
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,621
but you just forfeited
any possible credit
406
00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:44,475
for years to come
for you and Pepe.
407
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:48,244
But I went through hell.
They put coffee in me!
408
00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:54,151
And I hope
it was piping hot.
409
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,403
I deserve somethin'.
410
00:21:00,809 --> 00:21:03,610
The man does have
a lot of hits.
411
00:21:10,551 --> 00:21:12,670
Hey!
412
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,055
Blackjack.
You win again.
413
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:17,590
Well, looks like
you've cleaned us out.
414
00:21:17,591 --> 00:21:20,794
I guess the orphans will have
to spend the summer in the city.
415
00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:34,708
I'll take this in cash,
please.
30233
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