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1
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"Previously, on The King of Queens."
2
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Stuyvesant Towers?
3
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:14,484
Oh, my gosh, Carrie,
4
00:00:14,509 --> 00:00:15,653
you remember that
apartment in the city
5
00:00:15,688 --> 00:00:16,849
we signed up for years ago?
6
00:00:16,873 --> 00:00:17,571
Uh-huh.
7
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:19,751
It's available now.
8
00:00:20,055 --> 00:00:22,200
So, what happened with that
whole, uh, apartment thing?
9
00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:24,160
Oh, it's dead.
10
00:00:24,463 --> 00:00:27,046
Thanks to Arthur, I'm staying
right here in Queens.
11
00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:28,557
We can do it!
12
00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:29,186
Huh?
13
00:00:29,351 --> 00:00:30,951
We can move to the city!
14
00:00:31,519 --> 00:00:32,691
What about Arthur?
15
00:00:32,789 --> 00:00:34,676
He's getting married.
16
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,480
I got.
17
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:40,138
- Keys?
- To our apartment in the city.
18
00:00:40,175 --> 00:00:43,453
I was thinking, that we
could sleep there tonight.
19
00:00:43,512 --> 00:00:48,795
You know? Bring the air mattress, some
wine, bag of ice. I can play eskimo girl.
20
00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:50,521
I- I don't want to do it!
21
00:00:50,729 --> 00:00:52,543
- What?
- I don't want to move to the city alright.
22
00:00:52,596 --> 00:00:55,729
We can do eskimo girl here. I'll be eskimo girl.
I don't even care. I just don't want to move.
23
00:00:56,132 --> 00:00:58,471
Doug, what are - you said
you were ok with this,
24
00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:00,123
that my dream was your dream.
25
00:01:00,153 --> 00:01:01,820
Yeah, I said that because
26
00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:04,335
only because I didn't think we could
move because of your father.
27
00:01:05,249 --> 00:01:07,203
Oh, God.
28
00:01:07,992 --> 00:01:10,288
You know what? Go. I'm
glad you're leaving.
29
00:01:10,308 --> 00:01:11,028
Good, I'm going.
30
00:01:11,075 --> 00:01:12,297
Fine, go to your
fancy Manhattan.
31
00:01:12,329 --> 00:01:14,753
You know, and I'll be
here, keeping it real.
32
00:01:14,787 --> 00:01:19,971
She'll be back in 5-4-3-2...
33
00:01:36,636 --> 00:01:37,937
Hey!
34
00:01:39,923 --> 00:01:41,690
Oh.
35
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,110
Hello.
36
00:01:45,178 --> 00:01:47,296
What the hell is that?!
37
00:01:47,364 --> 00:01:48,080
Warden moved out,
38
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finally got my scooter.
39
00:01:49,766 --> 00:01:50,833
Good for you, Doug.
40
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,067
On your own a week
41
00:01:52,135 --> 00:01:54,136
and you've already given
up cleaning and walking.
42
00:01:56,105 --> 00:01:57,373
So you finally decided
to come home.
43
00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,876
No. I just came to
get some stuff.
44
00:01:59,943 --> 00:02:02,344
And by the way, my home
is in Manhattan now.
45
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:03,880
And you're welcome to join me.
46
00:02:03,947 --> 00:02:05,114
Well, you know what
you might want to do?
47
00:02:05,181 --> 00:02:06,065
You might want to open a window
48
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,282
and check the temperature,
49
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,885
because it's going to
be a cold day in hell
50
00:02:08,952 --> 00:02:10,185
before that happens.
51
00:02:10,253 --> 00:02:12,255
Trust me, I'm all for
opening up a window.
52
00:02:12,322 --> 00:02:13,689
Ooooooh.
53
00:02:13,757 --> 00:02:14,757
I get it!
54
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:21,064
You're gone. I'm all by
myself and I "smell."
55
00:02:21,131 --> 00:02:22,999
Ok, where are you going?
56
00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,383
To get the China.
57
00:02:24,451 --> 00:02:26,135
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
58
00:02:26,203 --> 00:02:28,104
My house, my China.
59
00:02:29,706 --> 00:02:31,124
What do you need the China for?
60
00:02:31,191 --> 00:02:32,858
You having a dinner party?
61
00:02:32,926 --> 00:02:33,709
I'll have a dinner party.
62
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,177
I'll have a dinner
party right now!
63
00:02:36,663 --> 00:02:37,597
You didn't even
know we had China
64
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:38,664
until I said something.
65
00:02:38,732 --> 00:02:39,898
I know we have China.
66
00:02:39,966 --> 00:02:41,083
Ok. I love our China!
67
00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:41,867
Oh, you love our China?
68
00:02:41,935 --> 00:02:43,218
Well, what's the pattern?
69
00:02:43,286 --> 00:02:45,671
Um... gay!
70
00:02:45,739 --> 00:02:47,806
Yeah.
71
00:02:47,874 --> 00:02:48,574
Just stop! You're
being an idiot.
72
00:02:48,642 --> 00:02:50,126
No!
73
00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:56,865
You know what?
74
00:03:02,189 --> 00:03:03,389
I'll just get some new China.
75
00:03:03,456 --> 00:03:05,073
Oh, yeah? Well, good luck!
76
00:03:05,108 --> 00:03:07,493
Because I already maxed
out the credit cards
77
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:09,812
reto-fitting the
SUV for this baby!
78
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,448
Yeah!
79
00:03:14,851 --> 00:03:17,386
That's funny. Yeah.
80
00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:21,773
What the hell? Holy...
81
00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:23,041
You've been robbed!
82
00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:24,159
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
83
00:03:24,227 --> 00:03:25,194
What if-what if they're
still in the house?
84
00:03:25,261 --> 00:03:26,629
I mean... I can't die tonight.
85
00:03:26,697 --> 00:03:28,864
I'm wearing very
girlish underwear.
86
00:03:31,217 --> 00:03:32,418
Hi, baby. Just to let you know,
87
00:03:32,486 --> 00:03:34,787
I stopped by and
grabbed a few things.
88
00:03:34,855 --> 00:03:37,222
But don't worry, I
left the China.
89
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,224
Enjoy your dinner party.
90
00:03:40,377 --> 00:03:41,543
This is all your fault!
91
00:03:41,611 --> 00:03:42,794
You know, for making us
bowl 2 extra frames!
92
00:03:42,862 --> 00:03:44,130
We could've stopped her!
93
00:03:44,197 --> 00:03:45,898
It's the only sport I'm good at!
94
00:03:45,966 --> 00:03:47,282
You had them put up the bumpers!
95
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:48,984
I hardly used them.
96
00:03:50,687 --> 00:03:51,587
You know what? Why don't
we just go to Cooper's
97
00:03:51,654 --> 00:03:53,322
and watch the hockey game there?
98
00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:55,140
We do that and she wins!
99
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,543
Well, she is good.
100
00:03:57,611 --> 00:03:59,361
Hey!
101
00:03:59,429 --> 00:04:00,930
Fine! You know what?
102
00:04:00,998 --> 00:04:02,131
I don't need you guys!
103
00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,165
I don't need her!
104
00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,466
I don't need anybody!
105
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,152
I was going to make
you panini, too!
106
00:04:06,219 --> 00:04:08,654
You know what? More
panini for me!
107
00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:15,127
Afanasenkov takes the
puck in the corner.
108
00:04:15,195 --> 00:04:17,063
Centers it to ponikarovsky.
109
00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:19,765
Ponikarovsky passes it
back to afanasenkov.
110
00:04:19,832 --> 00:04:20,832
And a whistle...
111
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:22,301
High-sticking.
112
00:04:29,876 --> 00:04:30,943
Hello.
113
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:31,977
Dougie!
114
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,646
Oh! Hey, mom. What's up?
115
00:04:33,713 --> 00:04:34,914
Thank God you answered!
116
00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:37,282
I've been trying to
reach you for days.
117
00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:38,400
I wanted to tell you and Carrie
118
00:04:38,468 --> 00:04:39,668
that we're flying in.
119
00:04:39,736 --> 00:04:43,088
I had a companion ticket
that was about to expire.
120
00:04:43,156 --> 00:04:45,074
Anyway, we just landed.
121
00:04:45,142 --> 00:04:46,475
What?!
122
00:04:46,543 --> 00:04:48,844
We should be there in 2
shakes of a lamb's tail.
123
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,943
Mom! Dad! Hey!
124
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:07,063
Come have some
cheese and crackers.
125
00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:08,981
Where the hell's all
your furniture?
126
00:05:09,049 --> 00:05:11,366
Oh, uh...
127
00:05:11,434 --> 00:05:14,236
W- we're having it refurbished.
128
00:05:14,303 --> 00:05:15,521
All of it?
129
00:05:15,588 --> 00:05:17,022
Yeah, you know. It's taking a
long time, though, because...
130
00:05:17,090 --> 00:05:18,457
I've got to be honest,
131
00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:20,776
I don't even know how they
furbish it in the first place.
132
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:21,877
Where's Carrie?
133
00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:23,795
Oh, Carrie. Um...
134
00:05:23,863 --> 00:05:25,514
Bridge.
135
00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:26,748
She plays bridge?
136
00:05:26,816 --> 00:05:29,718
No, she's on the bridge.
137
00:05:29,786 --> 00:05:31,820
Queensboro, she's cleaning it.
138
00:05:31,889 --> 00:05:34,223
It's a community service thing.
It's court ordered.
139
00:05:36,142 --> 00:05:38,410
What's going on here, Doug?
140
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,164
Here's the thing, uh...
141
00:05:42,232 --> 00:05:43,599
Carrie, uh...
142
00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,901
She's just got a little
apartment in the city,
143
00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:48,837
and, uh... I'm kind of staying
here by myself right now.
144
00:05:48,905 --> 00:05:50,906
It's all good!
145
00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:53,642
You're separated? Oh, my God.
146
00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:54,843
No, no, no. We're not separated.
147
00:05:54,911 --> 00:05:56,712
We're just kind of shaking
things up a little bit.
148
00:05:56,779 --> 00:05:57,913
You know... separately!
149
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:01,150
I need water.
150
00:06:07,306 --> 00:06:09,875
Hey, you were right.
151
00:06:09,943 --> 00:06:11,894
This seafoam green really pops!
152
00:06:11,961 --> 00:06:13,629
I told you!
153
00:06:13,697 --> 00:06:14,730
Listen, I want to thank you
154
00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:16,332
for keeping Doug at
the bowling alley.
155
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,934
I never could have gotten
the furniture without you.
156
00:06:19,002 --> 00:06:21,219
Hey, it was not easy.
157
00:06:21,287 --> 00:06:24,022
I had to tell him that
I needed the bumpers.
158
00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:26,658
I don't!
159
00:06:26,726 --> 00:06:29,361
Listen, uh, I know you and
Doug are friends and-
160
00:06:29,429 --> 00:06:30,729
yeah.
161
00:06:30,797 --> 00:06:34,333
You guys are all about
"bros before hos," but...
162
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:38,753
This ho really appreciates it.
163
00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,439
Thanks.
164
00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:48,747
The cotton is soft.
165
00:06:55,188 --> 00:06:56,922
Ok, well...
166
00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:59,825
3 cans of comet later, the
kitchen is presentable.
167
00:06:59,893 --> 00:07:01,193
I'm going to go upstairs and see
168
00:07:01,260 --> 00:07:04,529
if the oven cleaner took care
of that toilet situation.
169
00:07:06,899 --> 00:07:08,233
It's open!
170
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,385
Hey!
171
00:07:10,453 --> 00:07:11,604
Look who's here!
172
00:07:11,671 --> 00:07:13,138
Hi. Hi!
173
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:16,008
Dougie! You remember your
second cousin Virginia?
174
00:07:16,076 --> 00:07:18,277
Oh, yeah.
175
00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:18,961
We played mouse trap
176
00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:20,446
at Uncle Freddy's funeral.
177
00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:22,030
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.
178
00:07:22,098 --> 00:07:23,798
Anyway, I'll put on some coffee,
179
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:25,984
while you kids catch up.
180
00:07:34,427 --> 00:07:36,945
Well, the toilet's bubbling.
181
00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:39,848
I think that's a good sign.
182
00:07:39,916 --> 00:07:41,701
Aren't you Howard and
Judy's daughter?
183
00:07:41,768 --> 00:07:43,536
I put Bailey's in the coffee!
184
00:07:43,603 --> 00:07:46,656
Get this party started,
as the kids say.
185
00:07:46,723 --> 00:07:49,458
Joe, could I talk to
you in the kitchen?
186
00:07:52,028 --> 00:07:53,628
What the "h" "e"
double hockey sticks
187
00:07:53,696 --> 00:07:54,830
are you doing?
188
00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,332
Oh, open your eyes!
189
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,666
Their marriage is over.
190
00:07:57,734 --> 00:07:58,734
We don't find him somebody,
191
00:07:58,802 --> 00:08:00,269
he's going to move
back in with us.
192
00:08:01,638 --> 00:08:02,988
So you set him up
with his cousin?!
193
00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:05,424
What do you want? A 3
headed grandchild?
194
00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:07,159
They can adopt!
195
00:08:07,226 --> 00:08:08,393
Like that Madonna-
196
00:08:08,461 --> 00:08:10,612
will you stop it!
197
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:11,763
Look, Carrie and I
are going to deal
198
00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:14,233
with our own problems
by ourselves, ok?
199
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,867
You're darn tootin' you will.
200
00:08:15,935 --> 00:08:16,952
You know what
you're going to do?
201
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:19,388
You and Carrie are going to
go talk to Father Biskup.
202
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:20,990
He'll straighten you out.
203
00:08:21,057 --> 00:08:22,124
Mom, I-I'm-
204
00:08:22,192 --> 00:08:23,775
don't you mom me!
205
00:08:23,843 --> 00:08:25,144
You are going, mister.
206
00:08:27,814 --> 00:08:30,165
Hey! Thanks for
painting the bedroom.
207
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,116
And that mural in the bathroom
208
00:08:31,184 --> 00:08:32,501
is amazing.
209
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:33,802
Oh, you-you like it?
210
00:08:33,870 --> 00:08:36,722
I love it! You made
me look really busty.
211
00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:41,110
Well, um... I'm going to go out
and pick up some more paint
212
00:08:41,178 --> 00:08:43,963
and... maybe something for
the top of your curio shelf.
213
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:45,348
What curio shelf?
214
00:08:45,415 --> 00:08:47,299
The one I bought you
at the great indoors.
215
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:48,534
Aww, you're the best.
216
00:09:02,615 --> 00:09:04,866
You're not taking
the furniture back!
217
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:05,901
Don't want it.
218
00:09:05,968 --> 00:09:07,403
Just open the door.
219
00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:09,438
I just want to talk to you.
220
00:09:13,343 --> 00:09:14,376
Wipe your wheels.
221
00:09:14,444 --> 00:09:16,212
They're clean.
222
00:09:18,248 --> 00:09:19,715
So, this is it, huh?
223
00:09:19,782 --> 00:09:22,884
Yep. This is the place
you promised you'd live.
224
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,509
Why is there a picture of
Joan Collins on your wall?
225
00:09:30,576 --> 00:09:33,145
Ok.
226
00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,813
If you're not here to
tell me you're moving in,
227
00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:36,849
I got things I gotta do.
228
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,300
Ok, here's the deal.
229
00:09:41,521 --> 00:09:45,507
My mom found out about us bein'...
whatever we are.
230
00:09:45,575 --> 00:09:47,843
All right, and she says she's not
going to go back down to Florida
231
00:09:47,911 --> 00:09:49,645
unless we go see father biskup.
232
00:09:49,713 --> 00:09:52,331
And this is my
problem because...
233
00:09:52,398 --> 00:09:54,099
Because she's right
downstairs in the car.
234
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:56,067
What?!
235
00:09:56,135 --> 00:09:57,503
Crap!
236
00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,321
And as soon as I
press this button,
237
00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:03,325
her giant, old lady cell
phone is going to ring,
238
00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:06,762
and as soon as she figures
out how to answer it,
239
00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:09,264
she's going to be
up here, Carrie.
240
00:10:09,332 --> 00:10:11,517
So, you gotta ask yourself.
241
00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:13,101
What's it gonna be?
242
00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:16,088
All right! We'll
see father biskup.
243
00:10:16,155 --> 00:10:17,690
Good.
244
00:10:17,757 --> 00:10:18,723
But just to be clear,
245
00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:20,759
it's only to get your mother
off our backs, right?
246
00:10:20,826 --> 00:10:21,794
We're just going
through the motions.
247
00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:23,261
Deal. Deal.
248
00:10:23,329 --> 00:10:24,930
Oh...
249
00:10:24,998 --> 00:10:26,865
And I'm taking back
the panini grill.
250
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:27,566
No, you are not taking back the-
251
00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:29,869
eeeeeee. Fine! Fine!
252
00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:52,224
Where the hell were you?
253
00:10:52,292 --> 00:10:54,493
I waited outside the
podiatrist's office for 2 hours.
254
00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:56,828
Sorry, I got caught up.
255
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:58,614
What the hell is that?
256
00:10:58,682 --> 00:11:00,549
It's a little, uh,
somethin' somethin'
257
00:11:00,617 --> 00:11:04,420
for a pretty special lady. Who?
258
00:11:04,488 --> 00:11:07,990
I can't say, it's complicated.
259
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,259
God, you're annoying.
260
00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,960
What's your problem?
261
00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:13,129
I've had a rough
afternoon, all right?
262
00:11:13,197 --> 00:11:16,199
You know, I sat with you, when
you had your corn shaved.
263
00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:20,837
Look, things are moving pretty
fast between me and Ms. X.
264
00:11:20,904 --> 00:11:23,973
And we may be taking our
relationship to the next level.
265
00:11:24,041 --> 00:11:25,758
What do you mean?
266
00:11:25,826 --> 00:11:27,376
I may be moving out.
267
00:11:27,444 --> 00:11:29,678
I'm sorry I couldn't
give you anymore notice.
268
00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:32,881
Don't be sorry. Roommates
are a dime a dozen.
269
00:11:32,949 --> 00:11:34,517
But know this,
270
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:36,368
you walk out that door,
you're dead to me.
271
00:11:36,437 --> 00:11:38,037
I'm like an assassin.
272
00:11:38,104 --> 00:11:39,806
I never look back.
273
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,541
Well, it was, uh, good
being your roommate.
274
00:11:42,609 --> 00:11:44,209
And uh, you know I-I gotta...
275
00:11:44,277 --> 00:11:47,045
A lot of stuff to do. So I'll, uh...
see you later.
276
00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:49,331
Yeah, whatever. Take it easy.
277
00:11:57,223 --> 00:12:01,494
Doug, Carrie, welcome.
278
00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,729
Now, I understand,
from Doug's mother
279
00:12:03,797 --> 00:12:06,465
that you two have hit a little
rough patch in your relationship.
280
00:12:07,951 --> 00:12:09,068
Well, in my experience,
281
00:12:09,136 --> 00:12:12,338
no matter how difficult things
may seem at the moment,
282
00:12:12,406 --> 00:12:14,173
there's usually an answer.
283
00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:16,708
Sometimes, where you
least expect it.
284
00:12:16,776 --> 00:12:19,378
Well, you've been very helpful.
Yeah.
285
00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:20,546
Thank you so much.
286
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,880
Wait, wait, wait.
287
00:12:21,948 --> 00:12:24,317
Doug, Carrie, I'm
not quite done.
288
00:12:26,653 --> 00:12:29,255
Now, Carrie, I
understand your father
289
00:12:29,322 --> 00:12:31,923
has moved out to get married.
290
00:12:31,991 --> 00:12:33,325
Yeah.
291
00:12:33,393 --> 00:12:35,244
Well, sometimes the departure
292
00:12:35,312 --> 00:12:36,845
of a family member
from the household
293
00:12:36,914 --> 00:12:39,548
creates a void in your life.
294
00:12:39,616 --> 00:12:41,333
That's a lot to chew on.
295
00:12:41,401 --> 00:12:43,369
Yeah.
296
00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:46,205
Void where prohibited.
Ok, thank you very much.
297
00:12:46,272 --> 00:12:48,707
You know, I moved back a baptism
298
00:12:48,775 --> 00:12:50,742
to make time for you two today.
299
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:53,345
I thought you were here
for spiritual guidance.
300
00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:58,116
Well, the truth
is, father, um...
301
00:12:58,185 --> 00:13:00,352
We were going for more
302
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:02,888
of the appearance of
spiritual guidance.
303
00:13:02,955 --> 00:13:03,689
Pardon me?
304
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,142
Uh, the thing is, father, uh...
305
00:13:06,210 --> 00:13:08,878
We're going to take care of
our problem by ourselves,
306
00:13:08,946 --> 00:13:11,247
but uh, we came to
you because, uh...
307
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:13,515
Well, we'd like you to get
my mom off our backs.
308
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,034
Oh, how wonderful.
309
00:13:15,101 --> 00:13:18,871
And what can I do to help
you deceive your mother?
310
00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:22,291
Oh! I mean, she's in
the car right now.
311
00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:24,993
So, uh, maybe you could, uh,
312
00:13:25,061 --> 00:13:27,262
I don't know, I'm just
spitballin' here,
313
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,165
uh, walk us out with your arms around us?
Or something like that.
314
00:13:29,232 --> 00:13:30,332
Yes! Yes!
315
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,667
With a look on your face
316
00:13:31,734 --> 00:13:33,169
like "I did the best I can
do." You know what I mean?
317
00:13:33,236 --> 00:13:34,536
Yeah, that would be great.
318
00:13:34,604 --> 00:13:37,723
I don't want to do
your job for you.
319
00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:39,992
All right. If we're
going to do this,
320
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,394
let's get it over with.
321
00:13:41,461 --> 00:13:42,828
All right! Thank you, father!
322
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:44,463
You're a lifesaver. Absolutely.
323
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:45,831
Hey, don't be surprised if
there's a little something extra
324
00:13:45,899 --> 00:13:47,700
in your, uh, collection
plate on Sunday.
325
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:49,034
You know what I'm saying?
326
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,639
I'll see you on Sunday though.
327
00:13:54,841 --> 00:13:56,542
Sorry to keep you waiting.
328
00:13:56,610 --> 00:13:57,577
Just be another minute.
329
00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:58,744
Oh, that's ok, father.
330
00:13:58,812 --> 00:14:00,879
Oh! Hi, Suzy! Hey, Carrie!
331
00:14:00,947 --> 00:14:02,348
I work with her. How are you?
332
00:14:02,416 --> 00:14:05,518
Good! Look at you, you lost
the baby weight already.
333
00:14:05,586 --> 00:14:06,785
I know, and here it is!
334
00:14:06,853 --> 00:14:08,921
Aw, let me see. What's his name?
335
00:14:08,988 --> 00:14:11,173
He's cute. Aww!
336
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,442
You know, I just remembered,
337
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:14,794
uh, Russ, suzanna?
338
00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:17,696
I need you inside to sign a
few more baptism papers.
339
00:14:17,764 --> 00:14:19,632
Right now? I was about
to feed the baby.
340
00:14:19,699 --> 00:14:22,468
Oh, I'm sure Carrie would
be happy to do it.
341
00:14:22,535 --> 00:14:24,002
You don't mind, do you?
342
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,604
We'll be right in
here if you need us.
343
00:14:25,672 --> 00:14:27,022
Sure, go ahead!
344
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:28,390
All right. Thank you.
345
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:30,759
Yeah, no problem.
346
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:34,580
Uh, father b, he's a...
He's a good egg, isn't he?
347
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:36,782
Yeah, he just likes to hear
himself talk though, right?
348
00:14:36,849 --> 00:14:39,217
I know. What was with
that whole void thing?
349
00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:41,754
I know. Like what void?
350
00:14:46,559 --> 00:14:49,829
What? You d - you don't
think the baby's our void.
351
00:14:49,896 --> 00:14:51,797
Do you, Doug?
352
00:14:51,865 --> 00:14:53,699
I mean, we've been
down this road.
353
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,502
I - I... we tried to get pregnant.
We can't.
354
00:14:56,569 --> 00:14:59,972
Yeah, but, you know,
we could adopt.
355
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,240
My father said that
356
00:15:01,307 --> 00:15:04,343
when he tried to set me
up with my second cousin.
357
00:15:05,712 --> 00:15:07,946
Look, I never stopped
wanting to have a baby, ok?
358
00:15:08,014 --> 00:15:09,114
What about you?
359
00:15:09,182 --> 00:15:11,934
Are you kidding me?
I'll take this one!
360
00:15:12,002 --> 00:15:15,004
He's already wrapped and fed.
Let's get out of here.
361
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:18,240
What are we talking about?
362
00:15:18,307 --> 00:15:21,076
We can't adopt. We're not even
living in the same place.
363
00:15:23,129 --> 00:15:24,563
But we could be.
364
00:15:24,631 --> 00:15:26,798
Oh, and I guess you're thinking
365
00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:28,667
that I'm the one who
should give in, right?
366
00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,370
I'm just saying, look, you
know, I mean a baby...
367
00:15:31,438 --> 00:15:34,873
Should have a yard where there's
fresh air, and you know.
368
00:15:34,941 --> 00:15:37,226
Uh, it can't get fresh
air on a fire escape?
369
00:15:41,748 --> 00:15:43,883
Fine.
370
00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:47,686
I'll give up the apartment.
371
00:15:47,754 --> 00:15:50,889
But you know, if
we adopt a baby,
372
00:15:50,957 --> 00:15:52,258
I'm going to have to
quit my job for a while.
373
00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:53,392
You know what that means, right?
374
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:56,711
Um, yeah, you're going
to be around a lot.
375
00:15:58,548 --> 00:16:00,416
No, it means you're going
to have to get a job
376
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:02,084
that pays a lot more.
Oh, come on Carrie.
377
00:16:02,152 --> 00:16:03,786
We're not going to go into
this stupid sales thing again.
378
00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:07,689
Doug, your Uncle said you could
make double what you're making now.
379
00:16:07,757 --> 00:16:10,142
It's just that I've
been at I.P.S...
380
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:11,877
Longer than anybody
without a promotion.
381
00:16:11,945 --> 00:16:15,081
I mean, I'm right
where I want to be.
382
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,682
Look, I know it's scary.
383
00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,418
But we're both taking
a leap of faith here.
384
00:16:19,485 --> 00:16:21,754
So let me just get
this straight.
385
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,157
You're going to get
rid of the apartment,
386
00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:27,626
I'm going to get a new job,
387
00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:30,963
and we're both going
to get a baby.
388
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:34,733
That's the deal
that's on the table.
389
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,568
I'm in.
390
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:39,405
Me too.
391
00:16:44,361 --> 00:16:48,664
Ok, um... I'm not
pointing fingers,
392
00:16:48,732 --> 00:16:51,701
but someone peed on my hand.
393
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:57,422
Hey, babe.
394
00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:58,457
Hey.
395
00:16:58,524 --> 00:16:59,625
Where's the scooter?
396
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,526
Totaled it.
397
00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:07,365
By the way, our
mailman's suing us.
398
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:10,602
So, all the paperwork in?
399
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:11,953
Yep, once they give
us the green light,
400
00:17:12,022 --> 00:17:15,790
we hop on a plane to China, and
14 hours later, we're parents.
401
00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:20,462
Hey, I won't even have
to gain the 60 pounds.
402
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,666
Yeah, I can't make that promise.
403
00:17:23,734 --> 00:17:26,968
So, how you, uh, doing
giving up this place, huh?
404
00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:28,304
I'm fine.
405
00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:30,339
You know, we're both
making sacrifices.
406
00:17:30,407 --> 00:17:32,107
Yeah. Oh, hey.
407
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:33,709
You want me to drop these
off with the super?
408
00:17:33,777 --> 00:17:34,627
Ah, no. I'll do it tonight.
409
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:36,111
Ok.
410
00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:39,898
Hey, since this is your
last night in Manhattan,
411
00:17:39,966 --> 00:17:40,966
you want to, uh...
412
00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:44,903
Enjoy a New York minute?
413
00:17:46,806 --> 00:17:49,141
Uh, sure.
414
00:17:49,209 --> 00:17:51,893
Should we roll out
the bubble wrap?
415
00:17:51,961 --> 00:17:53,162
I don't think so.
416
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:55,331
Once I get going, it's going
to sound like a gun fight.
417
00:18:20,841 --> 00:18:24,342
Hey, Mike. Good job on the
Raymond-Jack account.
418
00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:25,143
Thanks.
419
00:18:25,211 --> 00:18:27,029
Yeah!
420
00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:32,100
Hey, Doug! So how's
your first week going?
421
00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:33,268
Great so far.
422
00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:34,603
I mean, everyone's
been really nice,
423
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:36,471
and Gary invited me
to lunch at Chili's.
424
00:18:36,539 --> 00:18:38,273
Oh, yeah? Stay away from Gary.
425
00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:39,542
He'll pretend to be your friend
426
00:18:39,609 --> 00:18:40,876
and then bad-mouth
you to everyone.
427
00:18:40,944 --> 00:18:45,280
Actually, I was pretty psyched
about going to Chili's.
428
00:18:45,348 --> 00:18:47,283
Hey, it's your funeral.
429
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:49,451
Personally, I'd fire the douche.
430
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,719
But he's my top salesman.
431
00:18:50,787 --> 00:18:52,254
So, uh, anyway, how
you doin' Doug?
432
00:18:52,321 --> 00:18:53,889
You sell any office
furniture today?
433
00:18:53,957 --> 00:18:55,841
Well, yeah, I-I might
have a few leads.
434
00:18:55,909 --> 00:18:59,111
A C.P.A. in Paramus might
want to buy a chair.
435
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,331
Ok, I don't want to hear
about "a guy" and "a chair,"
436
00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:05,801
I want to hear about a floor,
a division, a company!
437
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,536
This is a commission
business, Doug.
438
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:10,038
You wanna make money?
Huh? Gary money?
439
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:13,659
You get out there,
and you sell chairs!
440
00:19:13,726 --> 00:19:14,826
Capeesh?
441
00:19:14,894 --> 00:19:17,062
Yes. Yes, sir.
442
00:19:25,772 --> 00:19:29,624
Dinelli office furnishings, first
in lumbar support. Doug Heffernan.
443
00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:30,759
Have you checked
444
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:34,296
your apartment in Manhattan?
445
00:19:34,364 --> 00:19:35,764
Who-who is this?
446
00:19:35,832 --> 00:19:38,733
Just check your apartment.
447
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:40,202
Ok, we got rid of our apart-
448
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:42,171
who-who-who the hell is this?
449
00:19:49,845 --> 00:19:52,581
Dear God, what have I done?
450
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,729
"Next time on The King of Queens."
451
00:20:17,445 --> 00:20:19,445
Piece of work that man, right?
452
00:20:20,083 --> 00:20:23,816
Yeah, least he doesn't tell viscious
lies to the people that love him.
453
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,970
What are you talking about?
He does that everyday.
454
00:20:27,713 --> 00:20:29,021
What's the matter with you anyway
455
00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:31,233
You know what? I don't think I
feel like discussing it right now.
32068
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