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1
00:01:00,042 --> 00:01:01,609
What the-
2
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:08,366
excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
3
00:01:09,368 --> 00:01:10,768
Oh, my God.
4
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,973
You saw. He ran right
out in front of me.
5
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:19,493
Oh, my God. Come on. Come on.
6
00:01:19,562 --> 00:01:21,930
Don't you die on me.
7
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,317
Oh. He's... he's ok.
8
00:01:25,384 --> 00:01:27,735
Does anybody know
who he belongs to?
9
00:01:44,152 --> 00:01:45,670
Hold it.
10
00:01:45,737 --> 00:01:48,506
Oh. Mr. Kaufman.
11
00:01:48,573 --> 00:01:50,008
Carrie.
12
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:54,195
I guess I'm not the only
one late today, huh?
13
00:01:54,263 --> 00:01:56,531
I got here at 6 A.M.
14
00:01:56,598 --> 00:01:58,166
Mmm.
15
00:01:58,234 --> 00:02:00,318
What you got there, a book?
16
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,702
Oh. "The Contortionist's
Daughter."
17
00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:03,537
It follows a bedridden Professor
18
00:02:03,605 --> 00:02:05,539
and his growing disillusionment
19
00:02:05,607 --> 00:02:08,542
in 17th-century Prussia.
20
00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:11,045
Ooh. That sounds fascinating.
21
00:02:11,113 --> 00:02:13,948
Well... then here.
22
00:02:14,016 --> 00:02:14,732
What?
23
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,051
I just finished it this morning.
24
00:02:16,086 --> 00:02:17,469
You can have my copy.
25
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,054
Oh, no, no, no, no.
26
00:02:19,121 --> 00:02:20,555
Oh, please. I'd love
to have someone
27
00:02:20,623 --> 00:02:22,057
to discuss it with.
28
00:02:22,124 --> 00:02:23,558
My wife thinks 1,100 pages
29
00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:25,860
is too long for a book.
30
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,546
Sometimes I forget
she's only 29.
31
00:02:28,613 --> 00:02:31,566
Well... enjoy.
32
00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:33,934
Will do.
33
00:02:34,002 --> 00:02:35,053
Crap.
34
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:41,959
What do you mean you
don't take chickens?
35
00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:43,078
You're animal control.
36
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,080
I betcha if I had
a dog or a cat,
37
00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:47,082
you'd be rolling out
the red carpet.
38
00:02:47,149 --> 00:02:49,550
Hello? Hello?
39
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:57,726
So, uh... should I drop
you off here or...
40
00:03:01,404 --> 00:03:04,590
"As Yergen applied an
ointment to his withered leg,"
41
00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:08,384
"he thought back to his days
as an apprentice Baker."
42
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,979
" The first bread Yergen
made was a pumpernickel."
43
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,160
How long is this recipe?
44
00:03:19,281 --> 00:03:22,116
Hey. I'm home.
45
00:03:22,184 --> 00:03:23,451
Hey.
46
00:03:24,854 --> 00:03:26,955
Where you been? I had
dinner ready for 2 hours.
47
00:03:27,022 --> 00:03:28,423
You wouldn't believe my day.
48
00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:30,725
I had to drive all the
way up to plattsburg.
49
00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:32,059
What?
50
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,778
Crazy story. I'm delivering
in Chinatown, right?
51
00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:35,280
And all of a sudden-
52
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,949
ah, good. It's still
nice and juicy.
53
00:04:20,726 --> 00:04:23,127
Stop it!
54
00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:25,346
What's the matter with you?
55
00:04:25,414 --> 00:04:26,831
I gotta get some air.
56
00:04:31,519 --> 00:04:33,187
Oh, my God.
57
00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:35,923
Hey, Doug.
58
00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:38,042
Hey, Glenn.
59
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,194
What's wrong?
60
00:04:40,262 --> 00:04:43,264
Nothing. It's stupid.
61
00:04:43,331 --> 00:04:44,699
Problems aren't stupid.
62
00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:47,301
People who ignore them are.
63
00:04:48,587 --> 00:04:51,856
It's just... today I helped
this injured chicken,
64
00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:54,692
and I sort of got
attached to him,
65
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,527
and then when I came home,
66
00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:59,063
Carrie had dinner
waiting for me.
67
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,833
Let me guess. Chicken?
68
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,884
Yeah. I told you it was stupid.
69
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:06,220
No, Doug, it isn't.
70
00:05:06,288 --> 00:05:07,539
Do you have any idea
71
00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:09,541
what goes on at a poultry mill?
72
00:05:09,608 --> 00:05:11,909
It's barbaric.
73
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:13,210
I guess I'm pretty much
done eating chicken.
74
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:14,712
I'll tell you that much.
75
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,714
Hey, thank God I didn't
make friends with a cow.
76
00:05:16,782 --> 00:05:19,216
You know what I'm saying?
77
00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:20,735
After they're stunned,
78
00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:23,021
the cattle enter the death chute
79
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,740
where they are
killed, dismembered,
80
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:28,977
and prepared for processing.
81
00:05:29,044 --> 00:05:29,828
Is it almost over?
82
00:05:29,928 --> 00:05:32,463
Not until you learn how
hot dogs are made.
83
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:38,135
It's ok, Doug. It's ok, Doug.
84
00:05:43,659 --> 00:05:45,560
What's the matter?
85
00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:46,760
Glenn just showed me some movie
86
00:05:46,828 --> 00:05:48,262
about how meat is made,
87
00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:50,198
and now I can't eat it.
88
00:05:50,265 --> 00:05:51,516
Come on.
89
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:52,951
Carrie, I'm serious.
90
00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:54,251
I was just down in
the refrigerator.
91
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:56,220
You know what I ate? An apple!
92
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,339
Oh, my God.
93
00:05:58,407 --> 00:06:02,527
And a yodel, but
still, I just...
94
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:03,761
Doug, I don't understand.
95
00:06:03,829 --> 00:06:05,763
You eat fast food 2
or 3 times a week.
96
00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:08,933
It never occurred to you
that animals were involved?
97
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,601
Because they don't make
it look like an animal.
98
00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:13,371
They're very clever that way.
99
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,608
What... What are you doing?
100
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:17,942
Just talk about meat and
do stuff to me, ok?
101
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,811
I got to link it to
something good again.
102
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:22,781
No. Ok, as flattering
as that is,
103
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:24,448
I have another idea.
104
00:06:24,516 --> 00:06:26,550
Why don't you just
stop eating meat?
105
00:06:26,618 --> 00:06:28,586
I mean, you had an apple, right?
106
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:30,137
Oh, come on. No.
107
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:32,473
My body tried to reject it.
108
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:35,142
Thank God the yodel
kept it down.
109
00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:39,647
Doug, maybe this whole
thing is fate, you know,
110
00:06:39,715 --> 00:06:42,483
a chance for you to
start eating better.
111
00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:44,819
You know, stick around
a little longer...
112
00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,722
And burp less.
113
00:06:47,789 --> 00:06:49,990
I guess I could try.
I mean, you know...
114
00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:51,992
I've eaten meat for
over 40 years.
115
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:55,362
It's not like they're coming
out with anything new.
116
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,418
Come on. We've been
here all night.
117
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,154
Any new burger ideas at all?
118
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:04,455
Ok.
119
00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:06,340
How about we revisit
the Miami stacker?
120
00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:08,526
We've been over
that a dozen times.
121
00:07:08,593 --> 00:07:10,328
No bun in the world could
support 5 patties.
122
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,630
It's just physics.
123
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:13,548
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
124
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,850
Nobody wants a burger
that keeps falling down.
125
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:20,004
Pen. Pen.
126
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:31,049
"The leaning tower
of pizza burger."
127
00:07:31,116 --> 00:07:34,886
The bottom bun is a mini pizza.
128
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,869
I guess the old dog still
has one more trick in him.
129
00:07:44,894 --> 00:07:45,745
God, I love you.
130
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,270
What? Nothing.
131
00:07:47,295 --> 00:07:48,779
Great idea, boss.
132
00:07:53,788 --> 00:07:55,222
Well, look at you,
133
00:07:55,290 --> 00:07:56,890
enjoying your tofu sausage
134
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:59,393
and "I can't believe
they're not eggs."
135
00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:00,828
Yep.
136
00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:02,396
You know what makes
them taste better?
137
00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:04,198
Knowing I'm doing
the right thing...
138
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:09,170
And a buttload of hot sauce.
139
00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:11,472
I am really proud of you, honey.
140
00:08:11,539 --> 00:08:14,391
Ah, it's no big deal, really.
141
00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:21,715
When did you get glasses?
142
00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:24,285
The doctor said I probably
needed them for years,
143
00:08:24,352 --> 00:08:25,787
but I didn't know it
until I started reading
144
00:08:25,854 --> 00:08:27,955
all the stuff that
Glenn gave me.
145
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:32,910
Russian river, 5 letters.
146
00:08:34,979 --> 00:08:37,715
Volga.
147
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,154
What?
148
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:45,939
It's nothing.
149
00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:47,691
No, come on. What? Tell me.
150
00:08:47,759 --> 00:08:48,943
It's just...
151
00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:51,679
You probably shouldn't
be drinking coffee.
152
00:08:51,746 --> 00:08:54,415
Why? Is there meat in it?
153
00:08:56,751 --> 00:08:58,786
No, but the people
who pick the beans
154
00:08:58,854 --> 00:09:02,023
work under very
terrible conditions.
155
00:09:02,090 --> 00:09:04,959
Juan Valdez, that nice
guy with the donkey...
156
00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:08,429
He's an actor, Carrie.
I know that now.
157
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,549
Wow. Page 480.
158
00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:29,117
You're almost halfway through.
159
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:31,737
Oh. I just can't
seem to put it down.
160
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,239
You know, they should
make this into a movie.
161
00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:36,074
Have they?
162
00:09:36,141 --> 00:09:38,076
Oh, no. It's
considered unfilmable.
163
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,746
Listen, we're having a
little shindig on Saturday
164
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,415
to celebrate the opening
of Seven Water Plaza.
165
00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:45,918
I'd love for you to come.
166
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,587
Really? I thought that was
just for the partners
167
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,789
and, you know, big shots.
168
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:54,109
It is. Ha ha ha.
169
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,178
Got to have my book buddy there.
170
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,680
We're going to have a
lot to talk about.
171
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,286
Dugan group.
172
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,453
Hey, babe.
173
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,621
Hey, honey. What's going on?
174
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,956
Uh, nothing. Just telling you
175
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,424
not to fill up on anything
176
00:10:09,491 --> 00:10:13,294
because for dinner, I'm
making bean steaks.
177
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:18,467
Again? Ha ha ha.
178
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,469
Yummy!
179
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,971
Oh, actually, I just remembered.
180
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,673
I have to work late tonight.
181
00:10:25,741 --> 00:10:27,609
Yeah. Really?
182
00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:29,310
Oh, all right. Well,
if you get hungry,
183
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,812
just look in your purse.
184
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,414
I put in some snap peas.
185
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:34,716
Yeah.
186
00:10:34,783 --> 00:10:35,817
Yeah, I saw that.
187
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,386
But next time, you might want to
188
00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,821
put them in a little baggie.
189
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,323
Not biodegradable.
190
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,325
Ok. I got to go, babe.
191
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,633
Hi, Carrie.
192
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:54,820
What are you doing here?
193
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:55,988
Please don't tell Doug.
194
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:59,992
I just needed to eat
something with a face.
195
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:02,093
What's going on
with him, anyway?
196
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,829
He just found something
that he's passionate about.
197
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:06,798
It just so happens that
it's a little annoying.
198
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,182
A little annoying?
Can you tell him
199
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,018
to stop throwing
paint on my pants?
200
00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:12,253
He thinks corduroy is an animal.
201
00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:13,338
Hey.
202
00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:14,639
Hey. What's up?
203
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,023
How's the new job?
204
00:11:16,091 --> 00:11:17,175
How do you think
it's going, man?
205
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:19,177
I stand on the sidewalk
all day holding this.
206
00:11:19,244 --> 00:11:21,013
Yeah. Well, at least no
one's peeing on you,
207
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,515
like when you worked
in the subway.
208
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:25,533
Ha. Guess again.
209
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,768
Uh...
210
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:29,805
Oh. "The contortionist's
daughter."
211
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:31,857
I heard a really
good review of this
212
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,492
on npr's "book nook"
the other day.
213
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,894
Really? Yeah.
214
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,046
Hey, um... any chance
you want to read it
215
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:40,281
and write a little
summary for me?
216
00:11:40,349 --> 00:11:41,867
Please. It would
help me out so much.
217
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,535
I'd love to, but I
don't have the time.
218
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,637
I have to be out with
my sign all week.
219
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,926
Free phone. Free phone.
Free... phone.
220
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:02,220
Classic yergen.
221
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,408
Oh, hey, babe.
222
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,643
Hey.
223
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,578
Oh, just so you know,
for our anniversary,
224
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,413
I made reservations
at the sproutback.
225
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,582
Is that ok?
226
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,884
Spence finished
the book already?
227
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:20,221
No. He said he couldn't
get past page 5.
228
00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:23,224
Now I'm glad I got him fired.
229
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:25,927
I don't know what
his problem is.
230
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,663
I got to tell you, it's
pretty interesting.
231
00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,931
You're reading it?
232
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,766
Yeah. First hundred pages
233
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,502
starts out a little rough,
234
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:35,253
but once you realize
it's meant to be
235
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,255
allegorical, it's a
real page-Turner.
236
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,109
Hey, honey, any chance
you can finish this book
237
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,479
by Kaufman's party on
Saturday and fill me in?
238
00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:45,347
Yeah, I guess.
239
00:12:45,415 --> 00:12:47,215
Oh, speaking of the party,
240
00:12:47,282 --> 00:12:48,450
I got you something to wear.
241
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:49,617
Oh, really?
242
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:50,785
Yeah.
243
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,456
Check it out.
244
00:13:00,295 --> 00:13:01,963
Read the label.
245
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:06,100
It's 100% pure unprocessed hemp.
246
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:11,206
It's from the Woody
Harrelson collection.
247
00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:13,141
Honey, I appreciate all this.
I really do.
248
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,677
But I think you're throwing
a lot at me at once.
249
00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:17,312
I mean, I'm just getting used
250
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,048
to the "one flush a
day" rule, so...
251
00:13:20,115 --> 00:13:24,219
But you are... you're
gonna wear it, right?
252
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,438
Yes.
253
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,989
You keep reading
that book, baby,
254
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,490
and I'm going to try it on
255
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,825
for you right now.
256
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,160
All right. Ok.
257
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:34,262
That's my girl. Yeah.
258
00:13:34,329 --> 00:13:36,998
"Size-human."
259
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,017
You're always worried
260
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,186
about someone wearing
the same dress.
261
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,521
Not tonight.
262
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,039
All right. All right.
Forget about the dress.
263
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,541
I want to go over
264
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,376
the notes you gave
me for Kaufman, ok?
265
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,211
Themes, symbolism,
bread as a motif.
266
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,714
Is that how you spell "motif"?
267
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,717
What do you think?
268
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,401
Carrie. Doug.
269
00:14:13,469 --> 00:14:14,920
Glad you could make it.
270
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:16,821
You remember my wife Amy.
271
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:17,556
Hey.
272
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:19,491
Yes. Of course.
273
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,611
She was our intern last summer.
274
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:23,895
Bacon-wrapped scallop?
275
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,230
Amy made them.
276
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,899
She's taking classes down
at the culinary institute.
277
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:28,717
Have one.
278
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,270
No. That's ok. Thank you.
279
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,105
You're not hungry, Doug?
280
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,741
Actually, I'm very hungry.
It's just, uh...
281
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,276
Mmm... I'm a vegetarian.
282
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,013
Honey, it's just a
little itty-bitty thing.
283
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,416
Why don't you just have one?
284
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:47,419
I'm afraid I don't
eat animals...
285
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:50,673
Especially when they're
wrapped in other animals.
286
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:52,091
Well, I think
there's some melon.
287
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,758
I'll pick off the prosciutto.
288
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,512
No, no. He's ok. Yeah,
that's not gonna work.
289
00:14:56,579 --> 00:14:58,980
You know what? I'll go empty
out some mushroom caps.
290
00:14:59,048 --> 00:15:00,432
Just make sure
there's no remnants.
291
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,167
Ok? No remnants.
292
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,369
So, Carrie, have you finished
293
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,205
"The Contortionist's
Daughter" yet?
294
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,476
Finished it? Devoured it. Ha!
295
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,194
And?
296
00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:13,778
Loved it!
297
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,931
I knew you would.
298
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,118
Yeah. You know what I realized?
299
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,119
Yergen was never as free
300
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:24,355
as when he was
confined to that bed.
301
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,126
Yes! And what about
his obsession
302
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:30,629
with the umbrella? What
was that all about?
303
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,464
Oh. Oh, yeah. The umbrella...
304
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,967
Um... was his need
for shelter...
305
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:38,369
In a... In an unfriendly world.
306
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,288
How astute. Well, I'm glad
307
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,559
you enjoyed it as much as I did.
308
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:44,894
Oh, yes, I did.
309
00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:46,461
I'll tell you something.
310
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,963
There's nothing I enjoy more
311
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,198
than curling up with a good book
312
00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:51,800
and a nice cup of coffee.
313
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,134
Mm-hmm.
314
00:15:55,438 --> 00:15:58,807
Doug, I was really scoring some
big points on that stupid book.
315
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,310
And then you had to go on
ranting to Mr. Kaufman
316
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:05,247
about Juan valdez
and his donkey.
317
00:16:05,315 --> 00:16:08,066
I wasn't ranting.
I was educating.
318
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:10,985
Sweet. My seeds are here.
319
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,539
Hello, fresh radishes.
320
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,006
Enough already.
321
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,508
What is your problem?
322
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,993
What's my problem?
323
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,495
Ok. Well, ever since you
stopped eating meat
324
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,932
and started reading, you've
been acting like an ass.
325
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,885
Ok? How long are you
going to keep this up?
326
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,688
Ok. First of all, don't
like the language.
327
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:34,175
Second of all, this is forever.
328
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,211
This is for life.
329
00:16:36,279 --> 00:16:39,197
Oh, my God. Would you
stop it already?
330
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,365
Stop what?
331
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,184
That whole thing where
you say something
332
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,919
and then pause for emphasis
333
00:16:43,987 --> 00:16:45,854
and then say the
same exact thing
334
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:49,057
only slightly differently.
It's so sickening, man.
335
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,193
I get it.
336
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,963
You're... you're
threatened by me.
337
00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:56,197
What?
338
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,566
Yeah. That's right.
339
00:16:57,634 --> 00:17:01,637
Because... I am evolving,
340
00:17:01,704 --> 00:17:03,054
and you-
341
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,880
you...
342
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:16,668
Are remaining stagnant
in your ignorant ways.
343
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,570
Ok. You know what? I
really-I had enough.
344
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,239
That's it. Ok?
345
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,574
I had enough of
the compost heaps
346
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,909
and the straw mattress.
347
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,728
And let me tell you
something else, buddy.
348
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,164
Your reading days are over.
Yeah.
349
00:17:29,232 --> 00:17:31,232
Hey. Hey!
350
00:17:32,702 --> 00:17:35,253
Throw it out! Throw out
all the books you want!
351
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:39,591
The new Doug Heffernan's here,
and he ain't going anywhere!
352
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,497
So the numbers are pretty clear,
353
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,082
if you just... If you just look
354
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,416
at the comparison between-
355
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,684
yes? What is it?
356
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,420
This is from my mole
at ultra burger.
357
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,921
They've got a whole new burger.
358
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,556
They're taking it
national on May 1st.
359
00:17:54,624 --> 00:17:58,276
The bottom bun is a pizza?
360
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,697
Oh, my God.
361
00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:03,348
Ok. Listen up.
362
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,200
You all scrap whatever
you're working on.
363
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:06,601
We're going to launch
our answer to this
364
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:07,703
on the 1st.
365
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:11,540
If those bastards
want a burger war,
366
00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:13,742
we're going to give them one.
367
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,799
Ah...
368
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,956
5 patties?
369
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,792
Mamma Mia! That's a-gonna fall!
370
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,960
The leaning tower
of pizza burger,
371
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,962
now at ultra burger.
Prices may vary.
372
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,149
The smokehouse-
373
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:42,471
it ain't about layers.
It's about flavor.
374
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,806
One burger smoked to perfection.
375
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:48,577
Get it now at D.C. Jr.'s.
376
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,173
5 patties?
377
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,840
Mamma Mia! That's a-gonna fall!
378
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,177
The leaning tower
of pizza burger,
379
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:06,878
now at ultra burger.
380
00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:25,614
Aah!
381
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,015
Hey.
382
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,516
What are you doing?
383
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,535
Carrie got me fired
from the other job,
384
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,537
but this one's so much better.
385
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,855
Here. Have a coupon.
386
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:34,814
Get away from me.
387
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:36,273
Where are you going?
388
00:19:36,298 --> 00:19:39,000
I'll give you all the
coupons you want!
389
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,655
Oh, yeah.
390
00:20:30,035 --> 00:20:31,685
Good night, gang.
391
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,871
He's ok. He's ok.
26489
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