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1
00:00:36,318 --> 00:00:37,818
You know what? Movie starts
in, like, 15 minutes.
2
00:00:37,886 --> 00:00:39,354
You wanna pick up
the pace, Arthur?
3
00:00:40,356 --> 00:00:42,691
Excuse me for chewing.
4
00:00:42,758 --> 00:00:43,658
It's mashed potatoes.
5
00:00:43,809 --> 00:00:46,511
You don't have to chew
every bite 48 times.
6
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:49,698
Not all of us have
a working stomach.
7
00:00:49,765 --> 00:00:52,834
I digest most of my
food in my mouth.
8
00:00:53,936 --> 00:00:57,672
Where do you digest the
rest, on your shirt?
9
00:00:58,787 --> 00:00:59,637
Oh, hey, Danny.
10
00:00:59,662 --> 00:01:00,996
Hey, man. What's goin' on?
11
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,727
Ah, I just wanna catch the
rest of the nets game.
12
00:01:02,795 --> 00:01:03,895
Oh, beautiful.
13
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:06,514
Up 5 points with
19 seconds to go.
14
00:01:06,582 --> 00:01:07,882
You got some, uh-got
some money on it?
15
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:09,100
Yeah, a couple shekels.
16
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:10,769
Come on, baby. Come on.
17
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,804
That's it. Run out the clock.
18
00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:13,972
Here's your check.
19
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,341
Oh, hey, no, wait. That's,
uh, on me tonight
20
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,143
and, uh, the New Jersey Nets.
21
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:18,860
Thanks, man.
22
00:01:18,928 --> 00:01:20,545
Thank you. Hey, you and the nets
23
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,013
wanna buy me a Gucci purse?
24
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,750
Yeah, sure. Maybe we'll get
one for you, too, Dougie.
25
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:27,919
What just happened here?
How-how'd it get tied?
26
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,921
It was actually a 3-pointer
and 2 technical fouls.
27
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,623
I've never seen
anything like it.
28
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,240
Oh, my God, I
can't-a steal now.
29
00:01:33,308 --> 00:01:35,242
Oh, my God. Cover him.
Just cover him.
30
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:36,094
Cover him.
31
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,178
Gah! Ahh!
32
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,748
2 months' rent.
33
00:01:42,384 --> 00:01:45,453
What am I gonna do?
34
00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:49,441
All right, buddy, we gotta go,
35
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,443
but thanks for dinner.
Appreciate it.
36
00:01:54,563 --> 00:01:56,080
Thought Doug and Carrie left.
37
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,849
What are you doing here?
38
00:01:57,916 --> 00:01:59,417
Watching you wallow in a place
39
00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:02,220
I like to call rock bottom.
40
00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:04,055
What?
41
00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:05,023
I stayed to help you.
42
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:12,063
I'm due for a hot streak.
I know it.
43
00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:14,432
I said the same thing
after I wagered
44
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,100
on president Thomas e. Dewey
45
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:18,369
and a series of
white heavyweights.
46
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:19,704
I kicked my habit.
47
00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,673
Now you've gotta kick yours.
48
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,557
All right, look, Arthur, I
appreciate your concern,
49
00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:25,493
but I don't have a problem.
50
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:27,111
Look at yourself!
51
00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:28,896
Desperate and penniless!
52
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:29,848
Trolling the men's room
53
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:32,250
for any trucker with 6
bits in his pocket.
54
00:02:33,618 --> 00:02:35,820
I just came in here to pee.
55
00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:37,121
That's how it starts.
56
00:02:39,224 --> 00:02:42,193
All right, maybe I
do have a problem,
57
00:02:42,261 --> 00:02:46,398
but what am I supposed to do, go
to, like, gamblers anonymous?
58
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:47,932
Humph. Where they coddle you
59
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,902
with their understanding and support.
Hardly.
60
00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:52,904
I'm gonna cure you.
61
00:02:52,971 --> 00:02:54,939
Really? Yes.
62
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,842
From now on, the only
monkey on your back
63
00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:00,544
is gonna be me.
64
00:03:00,612 --> 00:03:01,896
I'm just sayin'
that's the last time
65
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,731
I'm letting you pick the movie.
66
00:03:03,799 --> 00:03:06,184
Hey, you know what? If you
won't wear the 3-d glasses,
67
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,269
you don't have a
right to criticize.
68
00:03:08,337 --> 00:03:11,505
Whoa. Look at your boobs.
They're comin' right at me.
69
00:03:11,573 --> 00:03:12,907
Not tonight they ain't.
70
00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:16,077
Hey, what's with the
police barricades?
71
00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:17,929
Ok, my guess, your dad
had a little too much
72
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,864
cough syrup, and he
cursed out a neighbor.
73
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:22,116
Hey, Lou, what's goin' on?
74
00:03:22,184 --> 00:03:23,784
Um, we're havin' a block party.
75
00:03:23,852 --> 00:03:26,187
Oh, cool. What time's
it, uh, start?
76
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:29,607
Um, you're putting me in
a very awkward position.
77
00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:31,459
Why? We weren't invited?
78
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:32,777
I wanted you guys to come,
79
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,946
but the others shot
me down pretty quick.
80
00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:36,314
Sorry.
81
00:03:36,381 --> 00:03:38,016
No, nothin' to be sorry about.
It's ok.
82
00:03:38,083 --> 00:03:40,184
Yeah. I don't think we
can make it anyway,
83
00:03:40,252 --> 00:03:42,387
because we're right in
the middle of a, uh,
84
00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:44,722
ahem, pretty intense
game of battleship.
85
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:46,090
Well, that sounds like fun.
86
00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:48,109
It is fun, damn fun.
87
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,881
Hey.
88
00:03:53,949 --> 00:03:56,718
Found battleship, but most
of the pegs are missing.
89
00:03:56,785 --> 00:04:00,354
Yeah. I think my dad thought
they were tic tacs.
90
00:04:00,422 --> 00:04:01,373
I doubt it.
91
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,075
I've been tryin' to get
him on those for years.
92
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:07,011
Anyway, I don't wanna play.
My neck is killing me.
93
00:04:07,079 --> 00:04:09,113
Could you give me a
little-little massage?
94
00:04:09,181 --> 00:04:10,498
Yeah, no problem.
95
00:04:14,636 --> 00:04:17,438
They're goin' all out
on this block party.
96
00:04:17,506 --> 00:04:19,107
They got a reggae band.
97
00:04:19,174 --> 00:04:21,675
Are they makin' funnel cakes?
98
00:04:21,743 --> 00:04:23,561
All right, would you stop
lookin' out the window?
99
00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:26,164
I'm just sayin', it looks like
they're havin' a good time.
100
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,299
Oh, really? Good time?
Wh-what time is it? 9:15?
101
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:29,501
I'm gonna call the cops.
102
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:30,835
Carrie, come on. Come on.
103
00:04:30,902 --> 00:04:32,086
What? What's your problem?
104
00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:32,854
I'm just sayin',
105
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:34,372
don't you feel a
little weird that...
106
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,973
I mean, there's a block
party out there,
107
00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:38,159
and we're the only couple
on the block not invited?
108
00:04:38,227 --> 00:04:39,577
I mean, look, there's
even the guy
109
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,579
who everybody thinks killed his wife.
He's out there.
110
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,248
Doug, it's a block party.
111
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,883
Really, what are we missing?
112
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:47,852
"Oh, I like the onion dip."
113
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,654
"Why, hasn't Billy
grown?" Please.
114
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,189
I am missing that.
I love onion dip,
115
00:04:51,256 --> 00:04:54,025
and I gotta tell you, Billy has
shot up these last 6 months.
116
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:55,326
It's a moot point anyway.
117
00:04:55,394 --> 00:04:58,496
The neighbors hate us. So what?
What are we gonna do?
118
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,364
So, wh-why don't
we go down there
119
00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:02,800
and show 'em that we're
actually nice people?
120
00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:04,536
How 'bout this? You go. I stay
121
00:05:04,603 --> 00:05:08,422
and try some of these, uh, leftover
painkillers from my gum surgery?
122
00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:10,058
I will. Lou's in the dunk tank.
123
00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:11,626
I'm goin' down there right now.
124
00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:23,020
Hey.
125
00:05:23,088 --> 00:05:25,690
Doug Heffernan, 3121.
126
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,292
Oh.
127
00:05:27,359 --> 00:05:29,177
Yeah, aren't you the
people who called the cops
128
00:05:29,244 --> 00:05:30,444
on our last block party?
129
00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:35,482
You said there was gang
activity going on.
130
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:37,218
You know what? That was my wife.
131
00:05:37,286 --> 00:05:39,687
I gotta tell you, we're
not really close.
132
00:05:39,754 --> 00:05:40,838
Hey, Phil.
133
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,007
Oh. Hey, Doug.
134
00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:43,691
Hey, Glenn.
135
00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:45,076
Hey, I gotta tell you,
136
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,345
I love the way your
garden's been lookin'.
137
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,196
What do you mean?
138
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:51,583
That heat wave killed
almost everything.
139
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:53,784
Yeah, but less is
more, you know.
140
00:05:53,852 --> 00:05:56,570
Hey, who's this handsome fella, huh?
Look at you.
141
00:05:56,638 --> 00:05:58,006
This is sparky. Oh.
142
00:05:58,073 --> 00:05:59,540
You like dogs, Doug?
143
00:05:59,608 --> 00:06:01,626
No. I really don't.
144
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,727
I love 'em.
145
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,261
Oh.
146
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,564
Do you have a dog?
147
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:08,716
No, I don't. But I'll
tell you, if I found one
148
00:06:08,784 --> 00:06:10,602
as cute as this one, I'd pull
the trigger in a second.
149
00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:12,270
Well, you can have him.
150
00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:13,738
Come again?
151
00:06:15,474 --> 00:06:16,357
Sparky isn't mine.
152
00:06:16,424 --> 00:06:18,359
I volunteer at the
animal shelter,
153
00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:21,028
and I'm just keeping
him for the weekend.
154
00:06:22,764 --> 00:06:24,999
So, what do you say, Doug?
155
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:27,251
Is there enough
room in your heart?
156
00:06:44,653 --> 00:06:47,138
Doug.
157
00:06:48,857 --> 00:06:50,024
What the hell is this?
158
00:06:50,092 --> 00:06:51,125
Take it easy.
159
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,494
I'm sorry. I'm just
not used to waking up
160
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:56,864
first thing in the morning
to a strange dog in our bed.
161
00:06:56,932 --> 00:07:00,135
Actually, it's like 1:30
in the afternoon, so...
162
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,535
Seriously? Wow.
163
00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:04,973
They weren't kidding when they
said don't mix with alcohol.
164
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,507
You found out the hard way.
165
00:07:06,575 --> 00:07:08,275
Anyway, this is my
new dog, sparky.
166
00:07:08,343 --> 00:07:10,277
I'll be back in a little bit-
167
00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:12,913
whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?
168
00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:15,200
Nothing. I just-I adopted a dog
at the-at the block party.
169
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,601
Most people go to a block party
170
00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:21,039
and come back with
a pie, not a dog.
171
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,890
Ok, I did bring home a pie.
You missed it.
172
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,576
Again, it's, like,
1:30 in the afternoon.
173
00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:28,395
All right, honey, please, just take it
back to where he came from, please.
174
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:29,948
Care, come on, it's
because of him
175
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:31,499
that the neighbors
finally like us.
176
00:07:31,566 --> 00:07:34,485
And with all the running and-heh-
playing around with him,
177
00:07:34,553 --> 00:07:35,920
bonus. You know why?
178
00:07:35,987 --> 00:07:37,555
Washboard.
179
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,343
Ah, it's gonna help
you lose weight.
180
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:42,577
Ok.
181
00:07:42,644 --> 00:07:44,346
Isn't that what you said
182
00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:47,248
when you talked me into
getting you that dune buggy?
183
00:07:47,316 --> 00:07:48,883
Hey, hey, hey, hey. When
I flipped that thing
184
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:51,619
and I got my jaw wired shut,
I lost, like, 41/2 pounds.
185
00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:54,939
Ok, you know what, Doug? You
want the dog, fine. It's yours.
186
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,090
It's your responsibility.
You're gonna feed him.
187
00:07:56,158 --> 00:07:57,826
You're gonna walk
him, it's all on you.
188
00:07:57,893 --> 00:08:00,144
Absolutely. Gonna
feed him right now.
189
00:08:00,212 --> 00:08:02,229
Come on, let's go
finish that pie.
190
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,821
Don't forget to separate the
whites from the colors.
191
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,839
Yeah, well, havin'
a little trouble
192
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,542
figurin' out which
ones are the whites.
193
00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,445
Watch the 'tude, junkie.
194
00:08:18,747 --> 00:08:20,348
Look, I still don't get it.
195
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,249
I mean, how is
doing your laundry
196
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:24,419
helpin' me get over
my gambling problem?
197
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:26,637
When you came down here,
198
00:08:26,705 --> 00:08:29,073
what did you wanna do
more than anything else?
199
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:31,493
Well, open a window.
200
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:36,247
Then I wanted to call my bookie
to make a couple of bets.
201
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,650
I like the Knicks, and the
Lakers, they're a lock.
202
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:40,585
And did you place those bets?
203
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,303
No. And why not?
204
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:45,606
Because the dial on your
phone was jammed with gum.
205
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:50,745
No, because I'm keeping
your stubby fingers busy.
206
00:08:50,813 --> 00:08:51,996
Now keep sorting.
207
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,285
I'm just tellin' you, guy,
if you don't stretch now,
208
00:08:57,353 --> 00:08:58,520
you're gonna feel it tomorrow.
209
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,024
Who's this?
210
00:09:03,092 --> 00:09:06,861
Oh, it's my new dog, sparky.
Sparky, this is Arthur.
211
00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:09,947
Whatever you do, don't
sniff his butt.
212
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:13,384
Ah.
213
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,236
Just so we're clear,
214
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,888
the liver treats in
the pantry are mine.
215
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:21,742
Oh. Is this the knick game?
216
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:24,379
It was. They just crushed
the trailblazers.
217
00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:25,679
Oh. Did they?
218
00:09:25,747 --> 00:09:28,082
And, uh, would you
happen to know
219
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,951
how the Lakers fared?
220
00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,685
They won by, like, 30.
221
00:09:31,753 --> 00:09:33,187
Really?
222
00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:36,758
Looks like someone's
back on a hot streak.
223
00:09:38,493 --> 00:09:39,477
All right, come on.
224
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,479
Let's go find us some bitches.
225
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,794
No, I haven't decided who
I'm bettin' on tonight.
226
00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:50,764
Heh. Yes, fat Charlie, I've
been on quite a hot streak.
227
00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:52,166
Speak of the devil.
228
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,251
Hold on.
229
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,087
Hey, Arthur.
230
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,424
Hey! How's my favorite
recovering addict?
231
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,192
Ehh. Hangin' in there.
232
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,427
Have a seat.
233
00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:04,762
Let me just move
these boat catalogs.
234
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:08,949
Let's talk about what teams
235
00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:13,020
your diseased mind is
obsessed with today.
236
00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:15,924
Well, actually instead of
talking about basketball
237
00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:19,527
and, you know, shockin'
me with a car battery,
238
00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:22,197
I- I thought maybe we
can, I don't know,
239
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,699
get to the root of my problem.
240
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:25,533
What do you mean?
241
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,768
Well, I was thinkin'
242
00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:29,236
this whole gamblin' thing
might have something to do
243
00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:31,773
with my father never
giving me his approval.
244
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,107
Ok, let's work with that.
245
00:11:33,175 --> 00:11:34,409
Great. Great.
246
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:38,479
Now, if your father asked
you who to bet on tonight,
247
00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:43,518
what team would you pick
to earn his approval,
248
00:11:43,585 --> 00:11:46,421
the celtics or the timberwolves?
249
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,289
What? Celtics, I guess.
250
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:50,191
Aha.
251
00:11:50,259 --> 00:11:56,130
And if his love hinged on
picking the over-under...
252
00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:56,780
Under.
253
00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:58,399
Under! Righto.
254
00:11:58,466 --> 00:12:01,602
God, you know, you know what? I
really gotta get a handle on this,
255
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,821
because I don't know, sometimes
I just feel so desperate
256
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,507
that I-I feel like gettin'
up on the roof and-
257
00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:08,058
let's pick this up tomorrow.
258
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:10,928
One day at a time.
259
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:11,929
You're welcome.
260
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,311
Hey, what's up?
261
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,762
I was just upstairs,
262
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,565
and apparently somebody
peed in the hallway.
263
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:33,818
Yeah, that was me.
264
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,202
All right, you know what?
265
00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,804
This isn't workin' out for me.
266
00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,306
What are you talkin' about?
267
00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:40,341
Doug, you took a
perfectly good dog
268
00:12:40,409 --> 00:12:43,177
and turned him into a
big, lazy eating machine.
269
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:44,995
And in case you hadn't noticed,
270
00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:47,431
already got one of those.
271
00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:49,016
Oh! Slammed me there.
272
00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:51,352
Heh heh. Come on. Sit down.
Watch the tube.
273
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,120
Eat some doodles with us.
It's fun.
274
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:54,221
Ok, all right,
275
00:12:54,289 --> 00:12:55,840
now, h-here's what's
gonna happen.
276
00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:58,409
Ok, you're gonna wake
up every morning early,
277
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,011
and you're gonna walk him,
278
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,580
and then you're gonna
feed him dog food,
279
00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:04,298
and then if he
pees in the house,
280
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,483
you're gonna clean it up,
281
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,251
and if you can't do
all those things,
282
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,420
he's goin' right back
to where he came from.
283
00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:12,573
I'm gonna miss you, buddy.
284
00:13:13,942 --> 00:13:16,077
Come on, boy. Gotta
take you back.
285
00:13:16,145 --> 00:13:19,680
Believe me, if I could trade
places with you, I would.
286
00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,616
Carrie, I'm glad I caught you.
287
00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:24,602
I wanted to drop off
this dog training video.
288
00:13:24,669 --> 00:13:26,704
It's narrated by Betty white.
289
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,022
Oh, right.
290
00:13:28,089 --> 00:13:31,425
That's great, but I'm actually
not gonna be needing it, so-ahh!
291
00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:32,277
You ok?
292
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,794
Yeah, it's just I
got a pinched nerve
293
00:13:33,862 --> 00:13:35,363
in my neck. It's killin' me.
294
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,131
You know, I had
that same trouble
295
00:13:37,199 --> 00:13:38,866
until I got my massage chair.
296
00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,334
It's changed my life.
297
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,337
Oh, yeah, I priced one of those.
298
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:46,307
And unless I'm goin' home with one
of the salesmen, ain't gonna happen.
299
00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,993
Actually, one of my clients
manufactures them,
300
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:53,030
so I can get you one at a
third of the store price.
301
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,698
Really? You would do that?
302
00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:57,118
After what you guys
did rescuing sparky,
303
00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:59,336
it's the least I can do.
304
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:01,723
Bless your hearts.
305
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,358
Well, don't bless us.
306
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,593
Bless all of God's creatures.
307
00:14:08,463 --> 00:14:11,198
Well, I can't take him back.
308
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:12,533
What? What happened?
309
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,168
Glenn's gonna get me
an incredible deal
310
00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:17,171
on a massage chair because
he thinks I'm a good person.
311
00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:18,639
I gotta keep that goin'.
312
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:21,709
Well, have fun with
him, 'cause I moved on.
313
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,644
I'm thinkin' about
gettin' a bird now.
314
00:14:23,712 --> 00:14:24,829
What? What are you
talkin' about?
315
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,164
The dog was your idea
in the first place.
316
00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:29,000
I don't wanna take care of him.
317
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,234
So think of something.
318
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:34,422
Well?
319
00:14:34,489 --> 00:14:35,840
Sorry. I'm thinkin'
of bird names.
320
00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:37,608
What do you think of Chet?
321
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:41,846
Ok, how about this? We
take him to the shelter,
322
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:44,398
and we tell people
that he ran away.
323
00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:47,134
That way, we still get
credit for the rescue,
324
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,336
plus sympathy for the loss.
Win-win.
325
00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:50,871
Uh-uh. No way. It's
not gonna work.
326
00:14:50,939 --> 00:14:51,939
Glenn's down at the shelter
327
00:14:52,006 --> 00:14:53,073
rescuing a llama or
whatever every day.
328
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,961
What if we take him out of
state, like, to Jersey?
329
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,746
Mmm. Too close. Too close.
330
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,498
Pennsylvania. Amish country.
331
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:04,919
All right, but it's gonna suck
for him, 'cause he likes TV.
332
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:12,026
Hey, did you put up
the lost dog posters?
333
00:15:12,093 --> 00:15:13,193
Yeah.
334
00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:15,279
Then Lou gave me a hell
of a sympathy hug.
335
00:15:15,346 --> 00:15:17,381
I think he separated
my shoulder, so it...
336
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:18,583
Well, don't worry.
337
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,751
Glenn said our massage
chair is comin' today.
338
00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:23,120
Ooh. Maybe that's it.
339
00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:26,357
Miracles do happen.
340
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:28,226
Sparky?
341
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,495
He's back? If you
can believe it,
342
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:35,282
he made it all the way to
Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
343
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:39,387
Lucky for you, they were able
to scan his microchip implant.
344
00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:41,839
Microchip. Wow.
345
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:45,175
Who would have thought
the amish had scanners?
346
00:15:45,243 --> 00:15:47,979
Well, the important
thing is he's home now,
347
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,331
and your family is whole.
348
00:15:50,398 --> 00:15:51,999
Thank you.
349
00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:01,976
Arthur, hey.
350
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:03,310
Oh, there you are.
351
00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:05,179
Let's probe your inner demons
352
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:07,965
vis-à-vis tonight's
Pacers-Cavaliers game.
353
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,785
Oh. Well, I, uh-I haven't
thought about it.
354
00:16:10,853 --> 00:16:13,253
I haven't thought about
gamblin' in days.
355
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:14,488
What? Yeah.
356
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,240
I think I'm, uh, finally cured.
357
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,508
Your therapy worked.
358
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:21,211
And, uh, to thank you,
I got you this plant.
359
00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:22,312
Don't be a fool.
360
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,715
Thinking you're cured
is part of the disease.
361
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,884
Hey, that cost me 6
bucks at walgreens.
362
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,537
I don't care. Just tell me
who's gonna win tonight.
363
00:16:30,758 --> 00:16:31,957
Wait a minute.
364
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:36,178
Have you been betting
using my picks?
365
00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:39,026
Hello.
366
00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:42,633
Sorry. I assumed that was
a rhetorical question.
367
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,935
Of course that's what
I've been doin'.
368
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,923
Ah. So that explains
the fancy jewelry
369
00:16:47,948 --> 00:16:51,017
and the women and
all the fur hats.
370
00:16:52,352 --> 00:16:54,170
You said you were helpin' me.
371
00:16:54,393 --> 00:16:56,711
Ok, I deceived you,
and that was wrong.
372
00:16:57,053 --> 00:16:58,853
But that doesn't
change the reason
373
00:16:58,878 --> 00:17:01,046
I started helping
you to begin with.
374
00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:02,337
I love you, Daniel.
375
00:17:07,196 --> 00:17:09,631
So, Pacers-Cavaliers-
376
00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:11,290
ah, you're unbelievable.
377
00:17:11,315 --> 00:17:13,850
Please. If I can double
up on tonight's game,
378
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,217
I can get myself out
of this hellhole!
379
00:17:16,284 --> 00:17:17,635
Yeah, well, you can
forget it, ok?
380
00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:20,788
'Cause you've sucked from Danny
Heffernan's teat for the last time.
381
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:22,906
One more, son? No!
382
00:17:22,974 --> 00:17:24,942
Good. I don't need you.
383
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:28,663
I can make some very
savvy picks on my own!
384
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:32,299
Let's see. Cavaliers-Pacers.
385
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:33,434
Oh.
386
00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:36,003
Cavaliers and Pacers.
387
00:17:36,071 --> 00:17:40,140
My cousin Jeffrey used
to drive a pacer,
388
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:43,160
although he had a very
cavalier attitude about it.
389
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:47,881
Free dog! We got
a free dog here.
390
00:17:47,949 --> 00:17:49,917
Man's best friend.
Everyone should have one.
391
00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:53,020
Lady, take it home with you.
Take it home with you.
392
00:17:53,088 --> 00:17:55,289
What do you say there, gramps?
Come on.
393
00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:57,641
Bring him with you.
Bring him with you.
394
00:17:58,961 --> 00:18:00,461
There's-nobody's takin' him.
395
00:18:00,528 --> 00:18:01,796
You wanna know why?
396
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,330
Because nobody's seen him move.
397
00:18:03,398 --> 00:18:05,132
You turned him into you.
398
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,867
No wonder nobody wants him.
399
00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:08,268
You wanted me.
400
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,204
Yeah, that was a million
years ago, buddy.
401
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:13,657
All right, you know what?
402
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,359
L- let me handle this.
Let me handle this.
403
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:19,563
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
404
00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:22,532
Where you goin' so
fast, sweetheart?
405
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:23,650
Excuse me?
406
00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:24,852
Yeah, uh, see, thing is
407
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,454
this dog just showed up here,
408
00:18:26,521 --> 00:18:29,023
and I don't know
whatsoever to do with him.
409
00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:30,524
You seem like a dog guy,
410
00:18:30,592 --> 00:18:32,326
and I just love dog guys.
411
00:18:32,393 --> 00:18:34,045
Yeah, that's-that's great.
412
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,113
Uh, I'm late for something.
413
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,181
All righty.
414
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,399
Nice goin'.
415
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,701
I tried. Yeah. You know what?
416
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,870
Next time, pop a button
or put a hand on him.
417
00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:43,971
Always be closing.
418
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:46,741
All right, you know what?
419
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:49,043
There's a bunch of families
over there by the swings.
420
00:18:49,111 --> 00:18:50,878
Come on. Somebody will
take him over there.
421
00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:52,162
Here we go, man.
422
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,297
Go get it!
423
00:18:53,364 --> 00:18:54,865
Come on, now.
424
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,016
Go!
425
00:18:57,252 --> 00:18:58,486
Go on, now.
426
00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:00,537
Go-get out of here!
We don't love you!
427
00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:01,822
All right, you know what?
Let's just go.
428
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:02,673
All right.
429
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,876
Hey, man. Hey. Heh.
430
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,611
What are you doing?
431
00:19:07,678 --> 00:19:10,247
Um, just playin' with our dog.
432
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,717
Yeah. Little game called,
"get out of here.
433
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,386
We don't love you."
434
00:19:17,922 --> 00:19:20,657
If you can't muster the
compassion in your hearts
435
00:19:20,725 --> 00:19:22,659
to care for this poor creature,
436
00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:25,162
I'll be happy to take him back.
437
00:19:26,181 --> 00:19:27,114
Awesome!
438
00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:29,383
That sounds really great.
Thank you.
439
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,585
Wait. Quick question, though.
440
00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:34,005
If we give him back to you,
441
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,622
where does that leave us,
442
00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,275
massage-chairwise?
443
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,944
Carrie, I promised you a chair.
444
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,578
It'll be here today.
445
00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:44,598
Ah, a man of his word.
I like it. Kudos.
446
00:19:44,665 --> 00:19:48,001
So you, uh-you're probably gonna
tell the neighbors about this.
447
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:49,670
No, Doug.
448
00:19:49,738 --> 00:19:53,124
Your selfish and deceitful
behavior will be our secret.
449
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:54,792
This just keeps gettin' better.
450
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,660
Bring it up, buddy.
451
00:19:56,727 --> 00:19:57,912
All right, bub. You're awesome.
452
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,980
We'll see you at the
next block party.
453
00:20:00,048 --> 00:20:02,083
Just kiddin'. We'll stay home.
We'll stay...
454
00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:06,921
So, we're square, fat Charlie?
455
00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:12,914
Hey, what the hell is goin' on?
456
00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:15,774
I had a small gambling
debt to settle.
457
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,613
So you gave the guy
my new massage chair?
458
00:20:18,638 --> 00:20:22,758
And Douglas' autographed
Nolan Ryan baseball.
459
00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:24,470
You're so dead, old man.
460
00:20:24,495 --> 00:20:26,196
Get in the house right now.
461
00:20:26,221 --> 00:20:27,154
Unbelievable.
462
00:20:27,179 --> 00:20:28,780
Can't believe you, dad.
463
00:20:30,267 --> 00:20:32,290
I told you they were bad people.
464
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,248
Come on, snowflake.
465
00:20:43,926 --> 00:20:45,260
Does he belong to you?
466
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,495
Found him wandering
around in amish country.
33574
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