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1
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,021
What is it, baby?
2
00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:40,723
I love barbecue shrimp.
3
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,725
I don't know why I ordered
the stuffed mushrooms.
4
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:46,078
Uch, I knew this was gonna
come back to haunt us.
5
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,698
I saw the word "stuffed" and
I just stopped breathing.
6
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:52,518
What the hell?
7
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,538
That guy over there
keeps staring at me.
8
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:58,774
So? You like it when
guys stare at you.
9
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,442
Not all guys. Like, Latino guys.
10
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:03,229
You know, young, sexy,
beautiful smile.
11
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,447
You know, fit but still cut-
12
00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:07,283
yeah, not me. Got it.
13
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,051
He is staring right at me.
14
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:10,903
Go over there and say something.
15
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,440
You know, he's probably just
staring at these wine bottles.
16
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,208
Look at him, he looks
like a real boozer.
17
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,594
Can you just go over
there and say something?
18
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,796
You're my husband! You're
supposed to protect me.
19
00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:23,282
Yeah, I never agreed to that.
Just go.
20
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,924
Hi. Uh, listen,
21
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,809
if you're staring at those
wine bottles over there,
22
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:35,278
I completely understand,
it's just that
23
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,296
they're right near my wife's
head and she gets confused,
24
00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:39,148
she thinks you're
staring at her, so-
25
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,784
actually, I was
looking at your wife.
26
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,686
Oh.
27
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,439
Are you interested in making a
substantial amount of money?
28
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,929
I'm listening.
29
00:01:53,997 --> 00:01:55,898
My name's Edward Brill.
30
00:01:55,966 --> 00:01:57,666
I'm in the wig business.
31
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:01,520
And we pay quite handsomely for
quality hair like your wife's.
32
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,458
What are we talking here?
33
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,761
Well, depending on how much
she's willing to cut...
34
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,596
$2,000 to $3,000.
35
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,682
Wow.
36
00:02:12,749 --> 00:02:14,950
Think about it. I will.
37
00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:16,969
I see you got the
barbecue shrimp.
38
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,138
Please! Help yourself.
39
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:22,374
Oh. Thank you.
40
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,748
Hey, babe.
41
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,566
Hi, honey.
42
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,203
You have such beautiful hair.
43
00:02:34,271 --> 00:02:36,205
Tell ya, I don't know
what sheen is, but...
44
00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:38,107
You got it.
45
00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:39,475
Aw. That's really sweet, baby.
46
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,843
Thank you.
47
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,964
What was that?
48
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,466
What was what?
49
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,702
You barely brushed your hair.
50
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,003
You're supposed to do,
like, 100 strokes a night.
51
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:52,237
Where'd you hear that?
52
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:55,140
Uh, one Miss Marcia Brady.
Come here. Look it.
53
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,577
1, 2, 3-
54
00:02:58,645 --> 00:02:59,978
actually, that feels kinda nice.
55
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:04,617
Of course it does. 4, 5, 6-
56
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,502
you know what I was thinking?
Hm.
57
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:07,753
You...
58
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,922
Would look really good...
59
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,624
With short hair.
60
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:15,360
What are you saying? You just
said you loved my long hair.
61
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:17,296
Yeah, I know, but-
62
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,231
if you love something,
you know the saying,
63
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,467
you gotta "set it free"!
64
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,135
What?
65
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,037
Ahem. You know what? Just
thinking out loud here-
66
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:27,640
when we do cut it, we should
put it in a bag and sell it.
67
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,842
35, 36. Stop.
68
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,794
What? What are you
talking about?
69
00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:34,296
All right, look, the guy tonight
at the restaurant was a wig maker.
70
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:37,600
All right? He says you have beautiful
hair we can make a ton of money off!
71
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,852
You want me to sell my hair?
72
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,671
Look. I know it sounds weird,
but he's talking, like, $3,000.
73
00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,189
I really don't care!
74
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,725
Well, Carrie, cou-
75
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,527
just think about it
for a minute, ok?
76
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,379
First of all, we could
really use that money,
77
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,597
and, bonus, we could be
helping other people.
78
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,066
People who aren't
blessed with your
79
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,101
thick, beautiful long hair.
80
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,889
Actually, it would be
nice to-to give back.
81
00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:01,540
There you go!
82
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:03,793
So $3,000, huh? Yes.
83
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,560
And the best part about
it is a year from now...
84
00:04:05,628 --> 00:04:07,529
You'll have a full head of
hair again, bang, $3,000
85
00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:08,764
in the pocket again.
86
00:04:08,899 --> 00:04:11,550
We could do a lot with
that money, right?
87
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:13,302
We can get that pizza oven
I've been talking about.
88
00:04:13,369 --> 00:04:18,274
Or, more, we can go on that
cruise with Deacon and Kelly!
89
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,008
Better yet, when they come back,
90
00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:21,543
we throw 'em a pizza party!
91
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,096
Fine. Next batch, I got dibs on.
92
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,241
What do you think?
93
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,878
Wow.
94
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,099
Look at you!
95
00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,834
So it's good?
96
00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:47,536
Look at you.
97
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,955
I know!
98
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,343
Look at you. Mm.
99
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:12,695
Hey, mon, you ready for
some island-hopping?
100
00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:14,963
I should have never let him
watch "cool runnings."
101
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,166
Where's Carrie?
102
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:21,620
Uh, she's upstairs
working her comb-over.
103
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,422
Haircut not so good?
104
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,259
You know moe, from
the "three stooges"?
105
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:29,695
I'd kill for that.
106
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:33,265
Ta-da!
107
00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:36,318
So, what do you think?
108
00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:38,103
It's really, really...
109
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,271
Sassy? Yes!
110
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:40,539
I know!
111
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,374
That's what the stylist said!
112
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,226
And you know, it's
so easy to manage.
113
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:46,662
I mean, my hair dries
faster than his now.
114
00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:50,566
That's true, it does, it does.
Faster.
115
00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:52,000
You know what? I'm gonna
go say good bye to my dad.
116
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,270
Why don't you guys load up
the bags in the car, ok?
117
00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:55,420
Oh, honey.
118
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,940
Tell them how I got carded
at the liquor store.
119
00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:01,043
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
120
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:04,279
She did. 'Cause "she
looks like a weird boy".
121
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,137
Oh, hey. We're leaving now.
122
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,189
Who the hell are you?
123
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:24,767
I got my hair cut, dad.
124
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,954
Anyway, we'll be back on Sunday.
I made you lasagna.
125
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,556
I'm gonna put it in the oven
so you can have it for lunch.
126
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,659
With your hair cut short like that,
you know who you look exactly like?
127
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,279
Halle Berry?
128
00:06:37,346 --> 00:06:40,349
Frank Medford.
129
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,185
Ok.
130
00:06:45,188 --> 00:06:47,123
He rented a room
from your mom and I
131
00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:48,958
when we first got married.
Oh, yeah?
132
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:51,359
He was always very
nice to your mother.
133
00:06:51,428 --> 00:06:52,494
He...
134
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:55,230
Looked after her when I
was away on business.
135
00:06:55,298 --> 00:07:00,101
He moved out rather abruptly around
the time she got pregnant with you.
136
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,154
Ok, daddy. I love you.
137
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:05,274
I'll call you from the boat.
138
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,446
Oh, dear God.
139
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,374
How great is this? We're halfway
to Barbados with our best friends,
140
00:07:39,442 --> 00:07:41,743
we have Robert goulet
singing to us.
141
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:44,680
I mean, what else
can you ask for?
142
00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:46,181
Not a thing.
143
00:08:08,038 --> 00:08:10,756
What, Deac? You wanna cut in?
144
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,960
Dancin' with my wife,
but hey, what the heck.
145
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:18,830
Let's mix it up! Swapsie!
146
00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:25,087
Hey. Hey, all right.
147
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:27,189
Let's see what you got, big boy.
148
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,224
Right.
149
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,022
Hey, Arthur.
150
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,841
You're late! Late?
151
00:08:45,909 --> 00:08:49,228
You told me 10 minutes ago and
told me to be here in 10 minutes.
152
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,997
Let's not waste more time
with your pathetic excuses!
153
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,749
Ok. What's going on?
154
00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:56,034
You see that man in there?
Yeah.
155
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,989
I have reason to believe he
may be Carrie's real father.
156
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,057
What are you talking about?
157
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,525
It's a long story.
158
00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:05,694
Actually, it's pretty short.
159
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:10,032
I think he boinked
Carrie's mother.
160
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,770
If there was only some way
I could know for sure.
161
00:09:14,838 --> 00:09:16,488
Well, you could do a DNA test.
162
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:19,324
You send in some of her
hair, some of his hair,
163
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,126
you'd know in a couple of days.
164
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,277
How am I gonna get his hair?
165
00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:23,945
It doesn't have to be hair.
It can be...
166
00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:25,847
Saliva, or a skin sample.
167
00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:26,782
Skin sample, huh?
168
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,400
I'll be right back.
169
00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:31,954
Hey, Frank!
170
00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:35,190
How 'bout we catch up with a good
old-fashioned scratch-fight?
171
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,793
What? You know.
172
00:09:37,861 --> 00:09:40,362
A scratch-fight. Like we used to
have back in the neighborhood.
173
00:09:40,429 --> 00:09:41,964
You know, just for kicks.
174
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:46,101
What the hell is going
on here, Artie?
175
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,203
You call me up out of the blue,
176
00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:51,290
you invite me over
here for crab legs,
177
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,658
and instead, all I
get is tap water-
178
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,093
you're absolutely right, Frank.
179
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:59,464
Allow me to apologize by swabbing
the inside of your mouth.
180
00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:02,867
Ok. I'm outta here!
181
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,286
So soon? Wait!
182
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,988
You have something in your hair.
What?
183
00:10:07,056 --> 00:10:08,256
Ow!
184
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:11,092
Turns out it's just a
clump of your hair.
185
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:24,156
How beautiful is this?
186
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,458
Yeah. It's beautiful. Just...
187
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,428
A little chilly, isn't it?
Here, let me help.
188
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,413
Let me help you with
this right there.
189
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:34,183
Stop! No, honey. Come on.
190
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,019
I actually like the wind
on my scalp, you know?
191
00:10:37,087 --> 00:10:38,453
Feels good.
192
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,505
Ok. What's the matter?
193
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,574
Nah. I over-buffeted. Oh.
194
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,112
Oh, look, it's Robert goulet!
Where?
195
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,113
Where?
196
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,982
I'm sleeping with his wife.
197
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,218
We loved your show tonight.
198
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,754
Yeah, and I usually
hate that kind of crap.
199
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,540
Isn't that sweet?
200
00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:00,842
Actually, would you mind if
we took a picture with you?
201
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:05,180
No, as long as he likes
my crappy music, why not?
202
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:09,351
I'm just gonna go get the camera.
I'll be right back, ok?
203
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,853
Boy, that is...
204
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,056
Wild hair.
205
00:11:14,123 --> 00:11:15,824
I just thought she'd look cute
with short hair, you know?
206
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,325
Like Jamie Lee Curtis.
207
00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:21,163
Oh, Jamie Lee. I love her. We did
a "muppet" special together.
208
00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:25,600
She sang a haunting
duet with fozzie bear.
209
00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,187
Oh, wait. I have my
camera right here.
210
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,979
Hey. Hey.
211
00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:38,380
What were you doing?
212
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,049
Nothing, I'm just sitting here
talking to Mr. Robert goulet.
213
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,451
Can you believe it? Pinch me!
Now! Pinch me!
214
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:45,053
That's crazy.
215
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,105
Were you talking about my hair?
216
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,790
No! No.
217
00:11:48,858 --> 00:11:50,676
Was he making fun of my hair?
218
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,828
Look, I'm in a hurry. I've gotta
call bingo in the barracuda lounge.
219
00:11:53,896 --> 00:11:55,664
Yeah, you're not going
anywhere, show-tunes.
220
00:11:55,732 --> 00:11:58,567
Was he making fun of my hair or not?
Was he?
221
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,870
He says you look like Pete Rose.
222
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,075
Pete Rose? He's the all-time...
223
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,777
Hits leader! He's-
224
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,248
oh, buddy. I'm sorry. Look.
225
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:16,218
Drinks half price at my late show, ok?
See ya.
226
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,642
Carrie, what're you doing?
227
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,294
I'm leaving.
228
00:12:26,362 --> 00:12:28,997
You do realize we're on a boat.
229
00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:32,434
Then I will swim. I have
the perfect hair for it.
230
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:36,321
Come on! I saw you and
Robert goulet laughing
231
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,523
at how bad my hair looks.
232
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,776
We weren't laughing at how bad your
hair looks. We were laughing with...
233
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,644
How bad you hair looks.
234
00:12:42,712 --> 00:12:44,813
I can't believe I
convinced myself
235
00:12:44,881 --> 00:12:46,981
that this looked
stylish and sassy.
236
00:12:47,049 --> 00:12:49,651
I look like a mental patient!
237
00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:51,219
I know. It's hard. Get off me!
238
00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,055
Don't touch me!
239
00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,890
You know how humiliated I am?
240
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,092
And you talked me into this!
241
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,410
I didn't know it was
gonna look so bad.
242
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,312
Here's the thing. Your
hair's gonna grow back
243
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,447
and you never have
to do this again.
244
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,982
Actually, one more time, 'cause the
pizza oven was part of the deal.
245
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,953
Aaah!
246
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,557
Look, we made a mistake,
what do you want me to do?
247
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,725
Shave your head.
248
00:13:14,511 --> 00:13:15,594
I'm not shaving my head.
249
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,113
Well, shave something, babe.
250
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:19,481
Yeah. That's right.
251
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,383
How about that weird
patch on your back?
252
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,101
Oh. No. I need that.
253
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,707
We can still have a
good time, all right?
254
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,943
Why don't you. - here.
Throw this scarf on,
255
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:34,379
and we'll go meet Deacon and
Kelly at the midnight buffet.
256
00:13:34,497 --> 00:13:37,166
I'm not going anywhere
until my hair grows back.
257
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,403
What are you saying? We're
gonna stay here in the cabin
258
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,704
for the rest of the cruise?
259
00:13:42,772 --> 00:13:44,422
Not we.
260
00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:52,848
You guys got an extra pillow?
261
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,152
Just askin'.
262
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,778
Mmhm.
263
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:14,987
Hey.
264
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:22,094
What the hell are you doing?
265
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,296
I'm sorry. It was
cold, all right?
266
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,364
Where's Kelly?
267
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,017
She left. She got pretty freaked
out when I got into bed.
268
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,786
Oh, man!
269
00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,455
I've really been looking
forward to this trip.
270
00:14:32,522 --> 00:14:35,258
Now I'm stuck in bed with
you instead of my wife.
271
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:36,742
Women.
272
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:43,315
Sometimes it's like no matter what we
do, it just isn't good enough for them.
273
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,583
Don't lump us together.
274
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,219
I saved up money for 6
months for this trip.
275
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,755
You sold your wife for parts.
276
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,823
I'm sorry. What am
I supposed to do?
277
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,193
I don't know, but I got two more
days on this boat without my kids
278
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,562
and I plan on gettin'
lucky, and not with you.
279
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,565
Well, just for that the
candy shop is closed.
280
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,703
Quit hogging the blanket.
281
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,075
There's gotta be some way
I can make this better.
282
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,011
Buy her a hat, or...
283
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,645
A helmet.
284
00:15:14,715 --> 00:15:16,115
How about a wig?
285
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,451
Ok, where am I gonna get her
a wig on a cruise ship?
286
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,152
Where were you gonna
get a helmet, idiot?
287
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,524
Well, now I see why Kelly left.
I really do.
288
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,031
Ok. Shhhh. You gotta be fast.
289
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,133
Ok.
290
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,503
Look, I really appreciate this, Mr.
Goulet.
291
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:38,854
Ok. Lock up on your way out.
292
00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:39,855
Ok.
293
00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:40,890
All right.
294
00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:42,491
Let's do this and
get out of here.
295
00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:44,827
Where's the wigs?
Where's the wigs?
296
00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:46,395
Look at this stuff.
297
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,582
Hey, man. How would I
look if I wore this?
298
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,286
Looks like you ate Elton John.
299
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:57,272
Come on.
300
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,191
Here we are! Look at this!
301
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,826
All right.
302
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:03,495
What do you think?
303
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,797
This one is nice.
304
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,765
All right, well, put it on.
What?
305
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,400
I'm not doing that.
306
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,502
That's why I brought you here,
so I could see it on someone.
307
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,872
Trust me, any wig I put on I'm
gonna look like Rick James.
308
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,944
I got an idea.
309
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,513
What are you doing?
310
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,998
I'm drawing her face.
311
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,186
All right.
312
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,854
How does that look?
313
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,875
I don't know. It doesn't
look much like Carrie.
314
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,944
Oh.
315
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,418
Now look. How does that look?
316
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:46,588
There she is. Yeah. Yeah.
317
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,577
So?
318
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,246
What are the results?
319
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,833
I don't know, Spence. I've
been too nervous to open it.
320
00:16:57,901 --> 00:16:59,068
Do you want me to look?
321
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,719
No, I should do this.
322
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,332
According to this,
the father is...
323
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,801
Spence Olchin.
324
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,004
What?!
325
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,173
You bastard!
326
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,443
There must be some mistake.
Yeah!
327
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,561
The mistake was letting you
anywhere near my wife!
328
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,064
I've never met your wife
329
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,633
and I'm only 2 years
older than Carrie.
330
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,518
Oh, look at you, you're
50 if you're a day!
331
00:17:35,672 --> 00:17:39,274
Ok, Arthur, the reason my name is
on this is because I'm the one
332
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:40,643
who paid for the test!
333
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:45,014
For reasons I still
don't understand. Yup.
334
00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,782
Well, you wiggled outta
that one pretty good.
335
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:49,184
See? It says right here,
336
00:17:49,252 --> 00:17:51,419
"Frank Medford not a match."
337
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,421
You're Carrie's father.
338
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,107
Well, that's pretty
anticlimactic.
339
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,593
I'm gonna grab a nap.
340
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:09,154
Hey, look who found himself
a high-class hooker, huh?
341
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:11,990
Hey.
342
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,643
Girl, you look amazing. Damn.
343
00:18:14,711 --> 00:18:17,496
Damn? Now, do you mean that? 'Cause
you said you liked my short hair.
344
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,864
No, no, no. That was scary.
You're good now.
345
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,552
Oh, yeah? 'Cause I kinda feel
like a Charlie's angel, you know?
346
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:26,254
Freeze!
347
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,290
How great is this, man?
Isn't it fun?
348
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,058
Look at us. We're all hanging out.
We got good hair.
349
00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:33,495
We're just chillin'. It's awesome, man.
Don't get better than this.
350
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,682
What are you looking at?
You got a problem?
351
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:41,019
No, no. I just. - I wanted to
ask you if you wanted to dance.
352
00:18:41,838 --> 00:18:43,221
Oh.
353
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,158
Do you mind, honey?
354
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,442
Kiddin' me? You're
doin' me a solid.
355
00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:49,928
I have the wrong underwear
on for dancing.
356
00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:52,948
Thank you.
357
00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:15,838
Hey. There you are.
358
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,439
Thought we were gonna dance.
359
00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:19,507
Oh, you're finally
done with paco?
360
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,911
Ugh. I'm all yours now, baby.
361
00:19:22,979 --> 00:19:25,664
God, you smell like old spice.
362
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,634
That's sweet. You're jealous!
363
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,320
I'm not jealous.
364
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,589
Aw, Dougie-wougie, he's jealous!
Stop it!
365
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:34,923
What is wrong with you?
366
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,358
When I looked horrible
you didn't like it,
367
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,761
now I look fantastic
and you don't like it.
368
00:19:38,828 --> 00:19:41,096
I wouldn't say "fantastic." Oh.
369
00:19:41,164 --> 00:19:44,216
Really? That's interesting,
because there's a whole shipload
370
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,817
of cabin boys that think
I'm pretty sexy, so
371
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,018
nighty night. Yeah?
372
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,887
Well try it without your
little friend. Yeah!
373
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,288
Doug! Give that to me! No!
374
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,473
No, the wig's mine now.
375
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:54,576
Yeah, so go hit the
dance floor, cue ball.
376
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:56,961
Come on, you're being a jerk.
377
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,830
No way. No. You know what?
It's my turn maybe.
378
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,532
'Cause it's dirty dancin' time
379
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,370
and guess what? Baby
just showed up.
380
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,312
You could've told
me it was for you.
381
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,414
I would've understood.
382
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,820
What the hell are we doing here?
383
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,773
I don't know, honey.
384
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,007
Look.
385
00:20:27,243 --> 00:20:29,811
I'm sorry about
everything, all right?
386
00:20:30,946 --> 00:20:33,415
I'm sorry too.
387
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,546
It's beautiful
tonight, isn't it?
388
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,147
It is.
389
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,468
Yeah.
390
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,024
Come on, honey! I'm waiting!
391
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,927
Ugh. I really don't
wanna do this.
392
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,829
You promised.
393
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,319
Let's hear it.
28064
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