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1
00:00:15,247 --> 00:00:16,681
Oh. Here's some seats
right here, honey.
2
00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,116
Slow down. I see
four down there.
3
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,918
You gonna sit in the front row?
4
00:00:19,985 --> 00:00:22,754
Sure. I like to stretch out my
legs and unbutton a little.
5
00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:26,524
You're sittin' with him?
6
00:00:26,592 --> 00:00:27,926
He's got my goobers.
7
00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:30,195
Why didn't we send him
in to Chicken Little
8
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:31,662
like I wanted? Uh...
9
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:34,349
Because cartoon chickens
give my father nightmares.
10
00:00:34,416 --> 00:00:35,850
Where've you been?
11
00:00:37,102 --> 00:00:39,604
Oh, look. It's Father Melley.
12
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,706
Oh, great. We haven't
been to church
13
00:00:41,774 --> 00:00:42,840
in a really long time, and now
14
00:00:42,908 --> 00:00:44,742
he spots us at a
Farrelly brothers movie?
15
00:00:45,511 --> 00:00:46,927
Doug? Carrie!
16
00:00:46,995 --> 00:00:47,679
Oh, hey! Hey!
17
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,064
What a surprise! Father Melley!
18
00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:50,698
Is this seat open?
19
00:00:51,683 --> 00:00:53,067
Sure! Yeah!
20
00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,235
Yeah. Sure. Absolutely.
21
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:55,837
Excuse me. Ok.
22
00:00:57,456 --> 00:00:59,724
And that was Irving
Berlin's white Christmas,
23
00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:02,727
the highest-grossing
Christmas song of all time.
24
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,563
Hmm.
25
00:01:05,631 --> 00:01:06,697
What?
26
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,500
You write one hokey
holiday song,
27
00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:11,136
and you're set for life.
28
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:14,906
Actually, Irving Berlin
wrote over 1,200 songs.
29
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,974
Oh, why don't you
just marry him?
30
00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:18,243
What's your problem?
31
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:19,644
I got no problem.
32
00:01:19,711 --> 00:01:20,778
I'm saying we should
write our own song
33
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,747
and cash in on this
Christmas thing.
34
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:23,915
You're serious?
35
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,251
Why not? I'll handle the lyrics,
36
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,520
and you seem like the type
that can write music.
37
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,971
What's that supposed to mean?
38
00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:31,255
I think you know what it means,
39
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,608
Mr. I-just-haven't-
found-the-right-girl.
40
00:01:36,378 --> 00:01:38,062
What do you got goin'
on this holiday season?
41
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:41,649
Oh, well, I am up to my
eyeballs in preparations.
42
00:01:41,717 --> 00:01:44,952
There's a toy drive, bake
sale, our outreach programs.
43
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:47,222
But the lord has blessed
me with congregants
44
00:01:47,289 --> 00:01:50,458
who are kind and generous
enough to donate their time.
45
00:01:53,745 --> 00:01:55,597
Of course, with
everything bein' so busy,
46
00:01:55,665 --> 00:01:57,666
we could always use
a little more help.
47
00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:58,900
So if you guys...
48
00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,885
Oh, shhhhh.
49
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,180
So if you two'd be willing
50
00:02:13,248 --> 00:02:15,166
to pitch in, that'd be great.
51
00:02:24,726 --> 00:02:25,860
Oh, hey, babe. Hey.
52
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:26,861
Where you goin'?
53
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:27,929
Oh, Father Melley called.
54
00:02:27,997 --> 00:02:29,697
I got manger duty.
55
00:02:29,765 --> 00:02:30,999
What's that?
56
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,068
I gotta guard the nativity
scene down at the church.
57
00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:35,203
Apparently last year the
whole thing was vandalized,
58
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,838
and there was myrrh everywhere.
59
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,058
I think I'm gettin' sick.
Feel my head.
60
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:43,361
D - Doug, come on. You
are not sick, honey.
61
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,929
We got roped in. Suck it up.
62
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:46,581
I have to make something
for the bake sale.
63
00:02:46,648 --> 00:02:48,716
You don't hear me complaining.
64
00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:50,184
Ok, you get to work
indoors with cake batter,
65
00:02:50,252 --> 00:02:51,936
so don't even. Ok?
66
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,247
What rhymes with "poinsettia"?
67
00:03:03,315 --> 00:03:05,633
Ooh. That's... not an
easy word to rhyme.
68
00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:07,001
Damn it, I just had it.
69
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:09,920
Don't speak unless
you're spoken to.
70
00:03:09,988 --> 00:03:11,739
You did just speak to me.
You asked me what rhy-
71
00:03:11,807 --> 00:03:13,858
I lost it again! You
are impossible!
72
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,311
Stop yelling at me!
73
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:18,596
I can't create in a
hostile environment!
74
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:21,832
Well, I wouldn't be so hostile
if you had one ounce of talent!
75
00:03:22,718 --> 00:03:25,303
You kick me again, I'm leaving.
76
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:28,223
I'm sorry, son. It's just
the choir down at the mall
77
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,058
is supposed to debut
our song tomorrow,
78
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,392
and we haven't got diddly.
79
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,828
Believe me, I want this
as bad as you. Ok?
80
00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:35,296
I mean, I work in the subway
81
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:37,465
and share a tiny apartment
with another man,
82
00:03:37,532 --> 00:03:40,368
and... I really
want calf implants.
83
00:03:40,435 --> 00:03:42,603
I mean... This is my ticket.
84
00:03:42,671 --> 00:03:43,855
Your calves are spindly.
85
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,824
Ok, you know what? Let's...
86
00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,525
Back off "poinsettia,"
and-and let's focus
87
00:03:47,593 --> 00:03:48,559
on a word that's
easier to rhyme,
88
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:51,095
like, uh... "Tree" or "Holly."
89
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:52,397
What did you say?
90
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,214
Um... "Holly."
91
00:03:53,281 --> 00:03:55,199
"Holly." Now...
92
00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:57,752
What sounds christmassy
93
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,454
and rhymes with "Holly"?
94
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:02,323
"Jolly." You got it!
95
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,591
Come here, you!
96
00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:17,054
What's up?
97
00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:21,159
Yeah, laugh and walk,
boys, laugh and walk.
98
00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:23,261
Steppin', huh?
99
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,597
Hey, that goes for you guys, too.
Let's go.
100
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,732
Keep it movin'. It's
the same as last year.
101
00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:29,267
Keep it movin'. You saw it.
102
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,806
Excuse me. Do you have the time?
103
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:37,108
Who wants to know?
104
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,510
Oh. Sorry. I'm-I'm Larry Kelly.
105
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,795
I'm around the corner
guarding a Christmas tree.
106
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:41,863
Oh. Hi.
107
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,614
Hey. Yeah. It's about, uh...
108
00:04:43,682 --> 00:04:45,650
9:15. Doug Heffernan.
109
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,518
How's, uh... how's it
goin' on your beat?
110
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:50,371
Not bad. Not bad. Couple
of curious dogs. Yeah.
111
00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:52,557
Collies. Yeah. They tried
to give me some trouble.
112
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,726
I sent them packin'.
113
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,310
Hi, sweetie. What
are you doin' here?
114
00:04:56,378 --> 00:04:57,979
Hi. They're sayin'
it might snow,
115
00:04:58,046 --> 00:05:00,547
so I brought you some soup
and your heavy jacket.
116
00:05:00,615 --> 00:05:03,201
Oh... thanks, honey. That's great.
This is
117
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:05,136
Doug Heffernan,
fellow parishioner.
118
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:06,637
Doug, my wife Cathy.
119
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,506
Nice to meet you, Doug.
Nice to meet you.
120
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:10,608
Oh. If I'd known there
were gonna be two of you,
121
00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:13,644
I would've brought some extra
minestrone and another jacket.
122
00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:14,645
Hmm.
123
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,666
That's all right. My wife's
gonna be stoppin' by
124
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,668
any minute, I'm sure.
125
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,974
Yeah, I'll just give her a
call, see what she's doin'.
126
00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:28,792
Mmm.
127
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,450
Hello.
128
00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:38,035
Hey. Honey, it's me.
129
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:39,671
Hey. How's it goin'?
130
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:41,673
Oh. It's cold.
131
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:44,141
I tell you. I could
really go for some soup.
132
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:46,027
Oh, that's so funny.
I just had some.
133
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,349
Uh-huh.
134
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:53,685
You know, uh...
135
00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:55,753
They're sayin' it's
gonna snow tonight.
136
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:59,006
Oh, really? Well, try not to
track any in the house. Ok?
137
00:05:59,074 --> 00:06:00,992
Oh, I just messed my pinky.
138
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,526
I gotta go. I gotta go.
139
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:07,865
I love you, too, baby. Yeah.
140
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,375
Good golly!
141
00:06:33,024 --> 00:06:33,807
Not bad, huh?
142
00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:36,060
Are you deaf? That
was a train wreck.
143
00:06:37,996 --> 00:06:40,047
I thought it went ok.
144
00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:42,900
It's hopelessly generic!
It's pap!
145
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:46,170
Yeah. We didn't blow too
many people away, huh?
146
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:48,239
Course not, because we're
not saying anything
147
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:51,242
that hasn't been said a
thousand times before
148
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:53,745
by burl ives, God rest his soul.
149
00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:57,414
Possibly. I have no idea
if he's dead or alive.
150
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,984
That's great. I gotta go call Dr.
Blaustein
151
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,086
and tell him to cancel
my calf surgery.
152
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,606
Wait, wait, wait. What
did you just say?
153
00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:07,108
Um... calf surgery?
154
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,609
No, no, no. Before that.
155
00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:10,778
I have to call-in the middle.
156
00:07:10,845 --> 00:07:11,779
Dr. blaustein.
157
00:07:11,846 --> 00:07:12,780
Yes.
158
00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:14,115
He a Jewish fella?
159
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,283
Yeah. Why?
160
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,551
That's it. What the world needs
161
00:07:16,618 --> 00:07:18,052
is a new hanukkah song.
162
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,287
Aside from dreidel dreidel
163
00:07:19,354 --> 00:07:21,355
and that Adam sandler thing,
164
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:23,724
it's an untapped market.
165
00:07:23,792 --> 00:07:26,611
Oh, yeah. Yeah, and, you
know, I'm 1/8th Jewish.
166
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,113
Sweet. I'm gonna grab a
bagel and a schmear.
167
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:31,465
Settle up with the choir. Go.
168
00:07:43,678 --> 00:07:45,112
Hey, babe. Where you goin'?
169
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:48,115
Hey. I'm headin'
back to the manger.
170
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:50,217
Oh. So you won't be
home for dinner?
171
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:51,936
No. Why? What are you makin'?
172
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:55,056
Uh, a phone call to
shanghal gardens.
173
00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:57,775
Hey, uh...
174
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,446
Hope it doesn't snow
tonight, but if it does,
175
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:04,081
you'll... you'll bring
me my heavy coat, right?
176
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:06,900
Why don't you just take
it with you now, babe?
177
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:10,321
I just thought that,
you know, like...
178
00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:13,374
Ok, yeah. That's fine.
179
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,562
So, how's the, uh,
cake comin' along?
180
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:18,779
Wha-what? You know,
181
00:08:18,847 --> 00:08:19,897
the cake you told Father Melley
182
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,065
you're making for the bake sale.
183
00:08:21,132 --> 00:08:22,767
Oh. Right. That.
184
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,836
Uh... I actually haven't decided
185
00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:25,970
what I'm gonna make yet,
186
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:29,306
but whatever I decide,
it gon' be good.
187
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:33,644
Seriously, you should
probably settle on somethin'.
188
00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:36,547
I will, honey. I have
till Saturday. Ok?
189
00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:39,350
I know. It's just that, you
know, Larry's wife Cathy,
190
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,819
she's already begun the
prep work on her cake.
191
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,321
Oh. Prep work.
192
00:08:43,388 --> 00:08:44,455
Oh, I better get out
193
00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:47,658
my sugar and my butter.
194
00:08:47,726 --> 00:08:50,994
I only have 3 days to make cake.
195
00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:56,534
She doesn't actually sound
like that, but whatever.
196
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,069
Yeah, hello. Order for
delivery, please.
197
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:00,538
Ok.
198
00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:06,860
Oy! What a schnorra!
199
00:09:16,588 --> 00:09:18,355
Thud.
200
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:21,859
I guess people love that dreidel
song more than we thought.
201
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,260
This is humbling.
202
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:24,862
So, what now, boss?
203
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,664
I don't know. Grease the choir
204
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,532
while I figure out
our next move.
205
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,894
Yeah!
206
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:11,759
Hey.
207
00:10:11,826 --> 00:10:12,760
All right!
208
00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:13,927
It's 9:00.
209
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:16,597
The bake sale's tomorrow...
210
00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:18,065
And I'm starin' at
an empty cake plate.
211
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,600
I need some answers.
212
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:21,368
Relax, honey.
213
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,504
I was gonna make one, but I had
to work late and I'm exhausted,
214
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:28,042
so, thank ya...
Hungarian bakery.
215
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,827
You bought... a cake?
216
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,797
Yeah. And once they scraped
off "happy retirement, Gus,"
217
00:10:32,864 --> 00:10:34,932
it was good to go.
218
00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:38,035
Oh, the new people came. Good.
219
00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:39,686
Nnggg...
220
00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:43,274
Carrie...
221
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,277
You can't bring a bought
cake to a church bake sale.
222
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,611
It-it's wrong.
223
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:48,729
Says who?
224
00:10:48,797 --> 00:10:49,530
Uh... the Bible.
225
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,818
Look, Doug, just relax. Ok?
226
00:10:53,885 --> 00:10:55,285
I'm sure I'm not the only one
227
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,521
who's bringing a bought cake.
Ok?
228
00:10:57,589 --> 00:10:58,723
Well, I know Larry's wife isn't.
229
00:10:58,791 --> 00:10:59,791
She's makin' a volcano cake.
230
00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,792
Do you know what that is?
231
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,293
It erupts caramel lava
232
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,129
and then drowns a
gingerbread village.
233
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,384
Any chance you're gonna
be in that village?
234
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:13,654
Nice joke. That's real funny.
235
00:11:13,722 --> 00:11:14,989
You know what's real funny, though?
That fact
236
00:11:15,056 --> 00:11:16,724
that I actually thought you
were gonna make this cake.
237
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:18,959
What does that mean? It
means you're not wife-ish!
238
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:21,212
I'm not whitefish?
239
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,981
Wife... ish! Wifely. Wife-like.
240
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,850
You-you never bring
me my slippers
241
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,052
or tell me I'm clever
or knit me somethin'!
242
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,855
Oh, well, I'm sorry I don't wait
on you hand and foot, Doug.
243
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,390
That's because I
work for a living!
244
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:34,825
Y - well, so does the
woman in the commercial,
245
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,995
and she manages to get everything
done with acid reflux!
246
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,567
So, why don't you marry her,
247
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,835
and I'll marry the guy in the
Pepsi commercial that I like.
248
00:11:44,903 --> 00:11:47,237
Oh, 'cause he'd never be with
you, because you know what?
249
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:48,639
He'd have to get his own Pepsi!
250
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:49,840
Whatever. You know what?
251
00:11:49,908 --> 00:11:51,341
You're acting like a lunatic.
252
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,511
This is the cake that I'm
bring, so just deal with it.
253
00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:54,745
You know what? You're
absolutely right.
254
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:56,013
You know what? This is fine!
Stop! Stop!
255
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,615
Let me just cut it up for you!
Hyah! Hyah!
256
00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:58,682
Stop it.
257
00:12:01,753 --> 00:12:03,020
Yeah. Ok.
258
00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:07,174
Fantastic. I'll just
buy another one.
259
00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:09,026
You know, Carrie...
When I told people
260
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:11,662
you were bakin' a cake
for the church...
261
00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:13,697
I actually felt proud.
262
00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:15,866
Guess I was just bein' naive.
263
00:12:29,264 --> 00:12:31,131
What are you doin'?
264
00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:33,867
I'm baking your freakin'
cake, so get out.
265
00:12:35,136 --> 00:12:37,405
Really? What... what kind?
266
00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:39,556
Well, it's gonna be this
whole delicious fudge thing
267
00:12:39,624 --> 00:12:43,460
that's gonna make Cathy's volcano
look like a pile of crap.
268
00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:45,880
Is it in the oven? Can I see it?
269
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:47,715
Actually, I haven't started yet.
270
00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:50,201
Looks like you started.
271
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:52,169
I can't do it! Ok?
272
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:53,854
I tried! I mean,
all these recipes
273
00:12:53,922 --> 00:12:55,923
need things that I. - that
I don't know how to use,
274
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:58,926
like a food processor
and big spoons!
275
00:13:00,128 --> 00:13:01,762
And how do you fold an egg?
276
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:03,397
It's impossible!
It's witchcraft!
277
00:13:03,464 --> 00:13:05,249
Ok. Just relax. Ok?
278
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,051
Look, we'll find you somethin'
here that we can make.
279
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,154
All right? Um... hey. How 'bout this?
How 'bout rum cake?
280
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:13,557
Oh, I tried that. But then I got
nervous, and I drank all the rum.
281
00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:17,895
You're right, honey. I'm
not wife-ish or whitefish,
282
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:19,730
whatever it is you called me.
283
00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:21,732
All those things you said about me.
- It's true.
284
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:24,068
Oh, just-hey, stop.
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
285
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,803
Stop! Ok?! Look, you know what?
I got an idea.
286
00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:28,121
We'll-we'll just call my mom.
287
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:29,874
Aw, come on! What are
you doin' to me?
288
00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:30,975
Look...
289
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,778
She'll talk us through
an easy recipe. Ok?
290
00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:37,598
Oh, fine. I'm too
drunk to fight.
291
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:39,667
Hello?
292
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:40,784
Hey, ma, it's me.
293
00:13:40,852 --> 00:13:43,087
Oh, my God. What's wrong?
294
00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:46,423
Nothing's wrong. Look, I just
need your help on something.
295
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:48,625
Well, all right.
What is it, darling?
296
00:13:48,693 --> 00:13:51,695
Well, uh, tomorrow is
our church bake sale,
297
00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,999
and Carrie is gonna bake a cake.
298
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,635
Oh.
299
00:13:58,386 --> 00:13:59,703
Anyway, um,
300
00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:00,438
we were wonderin' if
you had like, uh,
301
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:03,290
an easy recipe to,
you know, give us.
302
00:14:03,358 --> 00:14:06,727
Let me think. A nice,
easy cake recipe.
303
00:14:06,795 --> 00:14:08,929
Hey, how 'bout that, uh,
chocolate crumbly thing?
304
00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:11,532
No. She can't do that.
305
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:14,902
Hey, well, at least I can
match my pants and my shirt-
306
00:14:20,174 --> 00:14:21,308
this may be our last chance.
307
00:14:21,376 --> 00:14:22,409
Well, just get the
frickin' recipe!
308
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:24,879
All right. Right. Ma,
you-you got anything?
309
00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:26,046
How about a lemon bundt cake?
310
00:14:26,113 --> 00:14:28,482
Very easy. A monkey
could make it.
311
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:31,501
A monkey could make it.
312
00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:46,333
Carrie. The cake. Huh?
313
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:47,667
It's done. It's done. I'm up.
I'm up. I'm up.
314
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:50,170
Let's take a look at it.
315
00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:51,171
Ok.
316
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,159
I love you.
317
00:14:58,246 --> 00:14:59,346
I love you.
318
00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,091
Maybe it'll look
better if we put it
319
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:13,360
on the cake plate. Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do that.
320
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,357
Am I dreaming that we're giants?
321
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,029
Nope.
322
00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:34,531
Are we giants?
323
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,868
I told you we
needed more batter!
324
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,569
Well, you shoulda put more
baking powder in there!
325
00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:41,038
You have no idea how
much a pinch is!
326
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,139
I know what a pinch is!
327
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:43,056
Ok? Aah! Aah!
328
00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:44,508
Oh, you wanna go?! No, come on!
329
00:15:44,575 --> 00:15:46,377
Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Come on!
330
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:48,912
We've been up all night!
I'm hung-over.
331
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:52,316
And nobody's gonna want to
buy this stupid doll cake!
332
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:53,718
What are we gonna do?!
333
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:57,621
I don't know! This is my first
bad experience with cake!
334
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,556
All right, you know what? I'm just
gonna see what place is open.
335
00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:00,924
We're gonna buy one. Ok?
336
00:16:00,992 --> 00:16:03,227
N- no! No! Look, I got an idea.
Ok?
337
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,896
We'll bring the covered cake
plate to the bake sale.
338
00:16:05,963 --> 00:16:07,498
And I'll just say to
everybody, "hey, everybody",
339
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,216
"I'm gonna buy my wife's
cake." And then we'll leave
340
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,751
with the same
covered cake plate,
341
00:16:10,819 --> 00:16:12,753
and nobody has to
know that the cake...
342
00:16:14,489 --> 00:16:16,090
Never existed.
343
00:16:18,459 --> 00:16:20,394
So you're ok with
an invisible cake,
344
00:16:20,495 --> 00:16:22,663
but you won't let
me buy a real one.
345
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,397
You know what? You can judge
me when you sober up.
346
00:16:24,465 --> 00:16:25,833
Now, grab the lid.
347
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:30,203
Oh, the lid is made of glass!
348
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:32,773
Everybody will know
there's nothing in there!
349
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,541
Come on. That's it.
It's over. No!
350
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:35,943
Wait. I j-I'll tell you what.
351
00:16:36,011 --> 00:16:38,311
Just grab me somethin' cake-shaped
and a can of frosting.
352
00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:39,613
Ok.
353
00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:41,382
We don't have any frosting.
354
00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:43,050
In my nightstand! Go! Ok.
355
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,047
I thought that went
over rather well.
356
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:58,732
Are you kidding?!
357
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,200
The only song that bombed worse
358
00:17:00,268 --> 00:17:02,302
was that's Wednesday to me.
359
00:17:03,371 --> 00:17:04,671
Well, we gave it a whirl.
360
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:06,273
Come on. Let's sneak
in to Chicken Little.
361
00:17:06,341 --> 00:17:08,142
What? No. Arthur.
362
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,010
I'm not gonna go see a
movie with you. Ok?
363
00:17:10,077 --> 00:17:12,546
I- I've spent over
$600 on this choir.
364
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,148
My calves are smaller than ever.
365
00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:16,316
The only thing I feel
like doing right now
366
00:17:16,384 --> 00:17:18,918
is reaching down your throat,
grabbing your heart,
367
00:17:18,986 --> 00:17:22,322
and crushing it with my bare hands.
Do you understand me?
368
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,424
I understand you've
written the first line
369
00:17:24,492 --> 00:17:26,893
of a hit breakup song!
370
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,545
Come here, you!
371
00:17:36,905 --> 00:17:37,838
How's it goin'?
372
00:17:37,906 --> 00:17:38,839
Nice to see you.
373
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:40,640
Oh. Oh, hey.
374
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:41,909
Season's greetings.
Season's greetings.
375
00:17:41,976 --> 00:17:43,276
Oh. Thank you. Hey.
376
00:17:43,428 --> 00:17:45,195
My wife Carrie. Hi. Larry.
377
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,479
Hi. My wife Cathy.
378
00:17:46,547 --> 00:17:48,481
Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you.
379
00:17:48,549 --> 00:17:50,183
Yeah. I've heard
so much about you
380
00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:52,485
and your famous erupting cakes.
381
00:17:53,788 --> 00:17:55,272
Actually, I'm a little nervous.
382
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,874
It's supposed to be
bubbling by now.
383
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:00,494
And it's not? After
all that prep work?
384
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:01,695
Ok.
385
00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:03,630
I'm just saying...
386
00:18:03,698 --> 00:18:06,433
We'll catch you guys later. Ok.
387
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,184
Ok. Bye-bye.
388
00:18:07,251 --> 00:18:08,369
Hey. There's Father Melley.
389
00:18:08,436 --> 00:18:09,469
Let's do this. Ok.
390
00:18:11,172 --> 00:18:13,206
Then I went blond in the eighties.
But who didn't?
391
00:18:14,609 --> 00:18:17,044
Anyway, try the punch.
It's divine.
392
00:18:18,112 --> 00:18:19,379
Hello, you two.
393
00:18:19,447 --> 00:18:22,115
Carrie. Thank you so much.
394
00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:24,652
Oh, no problem.
395
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:27,387
Wow. Look at all the
great cakes here.
396
00:18:27,455 --> 00:18:29,022
Gosh, I wonder which
one I'm gonna choose.
397
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,391
I don't know. Well, I guess
it's gonna be this one.
398
00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:32,659
Get the car. Ok.
399
00:18:32,727 --> 00:18:33,727
All right.
400
00:18:33,795 --> 00:18:34,895
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
401
00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:36,563
Can't let you do that.
402
00:18:36,631 --> 00:18:37,864
Well, why not?
403
00:18:37,932 --> 00:18:39,400
We don't do the traditional
bake sale here.
404
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,734
We do something much more fun.
405
00:18:40,802 --> 00:18:42,202
It's called a cake walk.
406
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:43,904
Huh.
407
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:45,072
What's that?
408
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,158
Well, uh, we put the
cakes in a circle,
409
00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:48,825
and the men walk around them.
410
00:18:48,893 --> 00:18:50,060
And when the music stops,
411
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,462
if you're in front of
a cake, you buy it.
412
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:54,998
If you're not, you keep goin'.
It's a panic.
413
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:58,485
Uh-huh.
414
00:18:58,552 --> 00:19:00,053
So, do you want the
lid on or off?
415
00:19:00,121 --> 00:19:01,421
On. On. There's
some stuff in there
416
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:02,756
that shouldn't be
exposed to air.
417
00:19:04,659 --> 00:19:05,592
All righty.
418
00:19:06,995 --> 00:19:08,762
Ok, everyone! Let's
gather around
419
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:10,897
for the main event!
420
00:19:10,965 --> 00:19:11,749
Great plan.
421
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:13,734
I didn't count on a cake walk.
422
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:01,982
Sorry, man.
423
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,247
What happened?!
424
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:35,348
I've never seen caramel do that.
425
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:42,022
Hey... this is a chocolate
frosted couch pillow!
426
00:20:46,076 --> 00:20:47,844
Now! Get the car!
427
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:00,941
Dad? What's the matter?
428
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,644
I saw Chicken Little.
429
00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:07,464
Come on.
30634
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