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1
00:00:36,252 --> 00:00:37,385
What the-
2
00:00:39,055 --> 00:00:40,221
Doug, wake up.
3
00:00:40,222 --> 00:00:41,757
Mm.
4
00:00:41,758 --> 00:00:43,725
Doug, wake up. Something's going on.
Mm. Mm.
5
00:00:43,726 --> 00:00:44,927
Wake up.
6
00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:45,928
Honey. Mm.
7
00:00:45,929 --> 00:00:47,830
Wake- Doug.
8
00:00:47,831 --> 00:00:49,331
Doug, stop!
9
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,268
There's red flashing
lights outside.
10
00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:54,703
It's probably a dance party.
11
00:00:56,038 --> 00:00:58,073
Go back to sleep. No.
12
00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:02,678
No, there's an ambulance
across the street.
13
00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:04,329
Some of the neighbors
are coming out.
14
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:05,881
Oh, I see the Ferrignos.
15
00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,850
Come on. Let's go see
what's going on.
16
00:01:07,851 --> 00:01:10,519
All right. You go. I'll
guard the bedroom.
17
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,755
You want to send your
wife outside alone
18
00:01:13,756 --> 00:01:15,056
at 3:00 in the morning?
19
00:01:15,057 --> 00:01:16,358
Okay. You've got an ambulance
20
00:01:16,359 --> 00:01:17,892
and the Incredible
Hulk out there.
21
00:01:17,893 --> 00:01:19,060
I think you'll be okay.
22
00:01:19,061 --> 00:01:21,846
Come on. Come on! Stop it.
23
00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:30,756
Hey, Lou.
24
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,624
Hey, guys.
25
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:33,642
What's going on?
26
00:01:33,643 --> 00:01:34,960
Paul died.
27
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,345
Oh, my God! Paul died?
28
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,829
That's terrible.
29
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:40,215
Who was that again?
30
00:01:40,216 --> 00:01:43,018
He lived across
the street there.
31
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,720
Oh. Was he the guy
that always walks
32
00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:46,522
up and down the block barefoot?
33
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:47,723
No, that's me.
34
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,311
So, uh, was it sudden?
35
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,179
Not really. He'd been
sick for a while.
36
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,564
You know what?
37
00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:57,966
I'm gonna put on some
coffee for everyone.
38
00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:59,567
All right, man. Catch you later.
39
00:02:01,604 --> 00:02:03,071
"Catch you later?"
40
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,242
A man just died.
41
00:02:07,243 --> 00:02:08,343
Hey, life goes on,
42
00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:10,546
and I'm still gonna
catch Lou later.
43
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:15,801
All right, come on.
Let's go back in.
44
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,253
What? No. Why?
45
00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:20,222
We're not gonna be the
first neighbors to go in.
46
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,356
It's tacky. Hm.
47
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,610
Sorry, but it's a
little nippy out here,
48
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,612
if you know what I mean,
and I think that you do.
49
00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:44,512
Douglas. Is this a good time
50
00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:46,881
to bring you up to
speed on my psoriasis?
51
00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:53,055
You know, I was hoping
you'd ask me that.
52
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,506
It's a great time.
53
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,625
Well, she's headed south.
54
00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:59,394
What do you suggest I do?
55
00:02:59,395 --> 00:03:01,430
Arthur, I'm not a doctor.
56
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,131
Tell me something I don't know.
57
00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,800
A doctor. That's rich.
58
00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:06,301
Okay. You know what?
59
00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:09,237
I'll give you $50 if you
go back downstairs.
60
00:03:09,238 --> 00:03:10,405
If I want your money,
61
00:03:10,406 --> 00:03:11,973
I'll take it while
you're sleeping.
62
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,107
Just give me the crossword.
63
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,979
Hey, Dad. How's it going?
64
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,680
Not so good. I may
have to borrow
65
00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,448
one of your knitting needles.
66
00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:22,718
Well, I don't know
what you need it for,
67
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:24,519
but throw it out
when you're done.
68
00:03:26,889 --> 00:03:28,223
Good call on that one.
69
00:03:28,224 --> 00:03:30,458
Yeah. Listen. I had a thought.
No biggie.
70
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,327
I just wanted to run it by you.
71
00:03:32,328 --> 00:03:33,962
Let's buy the dead guy's house.
72
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,584
But I like this house.
73
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,101
No. look. I don't want
us to move there.
74
00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:41,369
I want us to buy it
75
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:43,004
before it goes on the market,
76
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,940
and then we sell it real
fast for a big profit.
77
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:45,974
We flip it.
78
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,861
We- I know nothing
about that stuff.
79
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,564
Yeah, but I do. This is
how my boss got started.
80
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,233
You think he just
fell into some big
81
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,768
billion-dollar real
estate company?
82
00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:59,504
Well, actually, he did.
But his father...
83
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:01,973
His father started
with just one house.
84
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:03,242
Okay. So let him buy it.
85
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,528
No, come on, listen.
I talked to Lou,
86
00:04:06,529 --> 00:04:08,280
and he said the
guy's only relative
87
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,948
is some 80-year-old Cousin
Eloise who lives upstate.
88
00:04:10,949 --> 00:04:12,951
She doesn't know what
houses go for around here.
89
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:14,586
We can get the
house for a steal.
90
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,855
So you- Now you want to take
advantage of an old lady?
91
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,492
And help her to move on.
92
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,709
I don't know.
93
00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:23,745
Something about this just
doesn't sound right.
94
00:04:23,746 --> 00:04:24,930
Doesn't sound right.
95
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,048
How does "speedboat" sound?
That sound right?
96
00:04:32,588 --> 00:04:35,557
I'm listening. Okay.
97
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:37,642
Well, if we get this house,
we can have the money.
98
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,728
You could finally get your boat.
99
00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:41,797
Really? Could I name
it the Sara Lee?
100
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,232
Doug-
101
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,451
Look, Carrie's a nice name,
but not for a boat, okay?
102
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,187
I mean, "Oh, if you really loved
me, you'd name it Carrie. "
103
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,689
Well, I'm not gonna,
so get over it.
104
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,958
Wow.
105
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:57,762
Sorry. In my head I've
had this fight a lot.
106
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,955
Hey, Arturo. Is Doug home yet?
107
00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:09,391
Afraid not. Oh. What's that for?
108
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,592
I signed up for a drug trial,
109
00:05:10,593 --> 00:05:12,861
but I can't seem to
read the small print.
110
00:05:12,862 --> 00:05:14,897
How sharp are those beady eyes?
111
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,798
20/20.
112
00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:20,102
Let's see. Oh. "Take
one pill each morning
113
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:22,271
for a period of 3 weeks. "
114
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:24,406
Sounds simple enough.
Nope, hang on.
115
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,424
"Some users may
experience nausea,
116
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,593
dry mouth, cramping-"
117
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,678
Hold on. They didn't say
anything about cramping
118
00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:32,063
in their adorable cartoon ad.
119
00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:35,217
Well... most drugs
have side effects.
120
00:05:35,218 --> 00:05:38,320
I did a trial one time for a
peanut allergy medication.
121
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,088
Oh, my God, my
windpipe closed up.
122
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,224
They had to rush me to
the emergency room.
123
00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:44,559
They said if I'd gotten
there 10 minutes later...
124
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,178
I'd be dead.
125
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,380
We're talking about me now.
Oh, sorry.
126
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:49,598
Um...
127
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,800
I wish I could know for sure
about these side effects
128
00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:53,702
before I start popping pills.
129
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:55,354
What are you taking
them for anyway?
130
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,705
Uh, psoriasis. Way downtown.
131
00:05:57,706 --> 00:05:58,840
Oh, man.
132
00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:02,711
That's...
133
00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:04,346
That's rough. Heh-heh.
134
00:06:04,347 --> 00:06:06,315
You know, I think my mom
has the same thing.
135
00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:09,651
Hmm. Is that so?
136
00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:11,553
You know, when Spence said
you wanted to see me,
137
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:13,405
I was a little surprised.
138
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:16,775
You never invited me
out for coffee before.
139
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,210
Better late than never.
140
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:21,896
No, no! This one is yours.
141
00:06:21,897 --> 00:06:23,732
Oh.
142
00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,500
Apropos of nothing,
you're not allergic
143
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,335
to potassium benzoate, are you?
144
00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:29,604
I don't think so.
145
00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:30,988
Then bottoms up.
146
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,727
Hey, guys. Glad you
could make it.
147
00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:54,362
Hey. Oh. Well, when you told me
148
00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:55,663
there was gonna be a memorial
149
00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,365
right here in this house,
150
00:06:57,366 --> 00:07:00,035
I told Doug, "We
just have to go. "
151
00:07:01,871 --> 00:07:03,538
Those were her exact words.
152
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,592
Oh, it's so sad to think
that he's not gonna sit
153
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,262
in front of this
fireplace again.
154
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,312
Does it work?
155
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,765
I think so.
156
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,569
A working fireplace.
157
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,070
You know how big that is?
158
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,237
Oh, my God.
159
00:07:20,238 --> 00:07:22,239
I think I feel hardwood
floors under here.
160
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,224
Okay, okay. You know what?
161
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,226
You might want to bring
down the happy a little.
162
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,312
Okay. All right.
163
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,614
Ahem.
164
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,015
Hello. Oh.
165
00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,134
I'm Eloise. Hi.
166
00:07:33,135 --> 00:07:35,970
Oh, hi. Doug and
Carrie Heffernan.
167
00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:38,490
Oh. Were you friends of Paul?
168
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,028
Yeah. We live across the street.
169
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,595
From Paul.
170
00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:47,632
So sorry about your loss.
171
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,933
Heffernan.
172
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:52,069
Oh, you left a lovely note.
173
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,588
Thank you.
174
00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:55,239
No. Thank you for having
175
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,976
such a wonderful,
wonderful cousin.
176
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:58,993
Yes.
177
00:07:58,994 --> 00:08:01,129
With a wonderful,
wonderful house.
178
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,066
Ah. What's to become
of this house?
179
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,569
Seriously, Eloise,
what's to become of it?
180
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,620
Ahem.
181
00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:11,139
Pardon me?
182
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,757
Well, I don't know if
you're gonna keep it,
183
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,227
or, I don't know, sell it?
184
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,527
Whatever you decide to do,
185
00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:18,529
we just want you to know
that we're here for you.
186
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:19,747
Tsk.
187
00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,216
Although you may have
a little trouble
188
00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:22,517
unloading it with that smell.
189
00:08:22,518 --> 00:08:24,519
Woo!
190
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,122
Did he die in this room or what?
191
00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:29,324
Rank.
192
00:08:33,395 --> 00:08:36,197
Thank you very much for coming.
Yeah. Yeah.
193
00:08:36,198 --> 00:08:37,548
Excuse me.
194
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:38,483
Sure.
195
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,754
What the hell was that?
196
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,056
What? I was trying to help out.
I was being bad cop.
197
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,775
Bad cop? There's no cop at all.
198
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,059
Well, you gotta
tell me that stuff.
199
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,096
Everyone,
200
00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,781
if I could have your attention.
201
00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:55,950
I thought it would be nice
if we went around the room
202
00:08:55,951 --> 00:08:57,552
and shared some
memories of Paul.
203
00:08:59,388 --> 00:09:02,491
Bobby. Why don't you begin?
204
00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:04,092
Sure, I'd- I'd love to.
205
00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:08,062
The thing I remember
most about Paul is
206
00:09:08,063 --> 00:09:10,265
the way he always had
time for everybody.
207
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,133
I mean, he showed my son
208
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,501
how to build model airplanes,
209
00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:15,069
and he'd tell stories
210
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,906
of how he flew in World War II.
211
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:20,291
I'd like to think he's
somewhere up there
212
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:21,593
flying right now.
213
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,127
Aw!
214
00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:28,400
Doug?
215
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,684
Oh, we're going
counterclockwise?
216
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:34,022
I- I think that's bad luck.
I really do.
217
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:36,658
It's okay, Doug. Go ahead.
218
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,826
Okay.
219
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,495
All right, uh...
220
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:41,429
Paul.
221
00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:46,468
Paul. What can I say
about my man Paul?
222
00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:52,323
He, uh, did love
his model planes.
223
00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:54,125
Yeah, he loved them.
224
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,793
Loved them a lot.
225
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,497
But not just, uh, model planes.
226
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,199
He loved...
227
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,717
m- model cars.
228
00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:04,569
Model boats.
229
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,755
All... kinds of models.
230
00:10:09,892 --> 00:10:11,192
He dated models.
231
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:14,996
Yeah. I know what
you're thinking.
232
00:10:14,997 --> 00:10:18,149
You know, "He's 100. Why
are models dating him?"
233
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,885
I'm gonna tell you why.
Uh, it's because, uh,
234
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,153
he respected them.
235
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,522
And they sensed that...
236
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:28,192
uh, because models have
unbelievable instincts.
237
00:10:30,345 --> 00:10:32,547
And, yes, it ended
badly sometimes.
238
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,464
But he did not hit them.
239
00:10:34,683 --> 00:10:35,717
It is not true.
240
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,136
It is never- It was
never- Never true!
241
00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:41,239
Bottom line is, uh, ahem...
242
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,707
Good neighbor...
243
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,176
Dated models,
244
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,911
Loved Bobby's son.
245
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,248
You're up.
246
00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:00,775
Arthur. I've so been enjoying
247
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:03,111
our little get-togethers here.
Heh.
248
00:11:04,513 --> 00:11:05,864
Although...
249
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,383
does their coffee
taste bitter to you?
250
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,920
Sitting across from you,
251
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,872
I don't even notice.
252
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:14,605
Oh. Oh-ho!
253
00:11:15,924 --> 00:11:18,593
So... anything new?
254
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,661
Mm, same old, same old.
How about you?
255
00:11:20,662 --> 00:11:22,730
Any cramps, dry heaving?
256
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:26,617
What? No. No.
257
00:11:26,618 --> 00:11:28,470
Why would you ask that?
258
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:30,671
Well, I just want to know
everything there is to know
259
00:11:30,672 --> 00:11:32,907
about Veronica Olchin. Oh.
260
00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:35,376
Does she like silk
sheets or satin?
261
00:11:35,377 --> 00:11:38,947
Do you like eggs sunny-side
up or scrambled? Oh.
262
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,015
Do you have swelling
263
00:11:41,016 --> 00:11:42,850
in one or both of your breasts?
264
00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:46,404
Oh, Arthur.
265
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,606
This is a family place.
266
00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:52,059
Seriously.
267
00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:00,885
Hello?
268
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:01,953
Hey, honey. I just pulled up
269
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:03,387
the comps for the neighborhood.
270
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:06,091
If we get this house, we
are gonna make a killing.
271
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,992
Sweet. 'Cause I've
been boat shopping,
272
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,694
and they be's a lot of money.
273
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,013
Well, we's gonna
have a lot of money.
274
00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:15,216
Wait a minute. What?
275
00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:17,285
What's Lou doing over at Paul's?
276
00:12:17,286 --> 00:12:18,353
He's-
277
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:19,771
He's watering their flowers.
278
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,239
Why would he be doing that?
279
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,257
Oh, my God. I bet
you he's trying
280
00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:24,826
to buy the house and
then flip it too.
281
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,195
What? No, come on.
He's not that savvy.
282
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:28,830
Not that savvy? He's a giant.
283
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,165
With a giant brain to match.
284
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,118
Oh. Maybe you're right.
285
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,052
Remember he was walking
around the memorial
286
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,321
like he owned the place.
287
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,040
Go over there and find
out what his game is.
288
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:41,209
Oh. I'm going. I'm
going right now.
289
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,933
Hey, Lou. Hey, Doug.
290
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,602
What you doing? Just
watering Paul's flowers.
291
00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:53,270
Oh, well, isn't that neighborly?
292
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:56,207
It's just, uh, Paul
really loved his garden.
293
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,476
I thought maybe someone
should look after it.
294
00:12:58,477 --> 00:12:59,443
Aww.
295
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:01,745
You listen and you listen good.
296
00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:03,214
Don't go up against us
297
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,782
because you'll lose every time.
298
00:13:11,106 --> 00:13:12,273
Hey.
299
00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:13,324
Where have you been?
300
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,026
Lou's probably got
the house by now.
301
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,544
Oh, probably not 'cause...
302
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,545
we got it!
303
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,812
What?
304
00:13:18,813 --> 00:13:21,082
Yes, that's right. After we
hung up, I called Eloise.
305
00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:22,783
I made her an offer,
and she accepted it.
306
00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:24,085
We got the house.
307
00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:25,587
We got the house.
We got the house.
308
00:13:25,588 --> 00:13:26,921
Come on.
309
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,409
You know what, honey?
310
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:35,179
This is the start of a
whole new life for us.
311
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,414
Yeah. Now let's go get
312
00:13:37,415 --> 00:13:38,966
that giant freak
off our property.
313
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:47,608
Hey. Hey, there she is!
314
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:48,909
Yeah. All right. Mwah!
315
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,110
Oh, look at this place.
316
00:13:50,111 --> 00:13:51,512
Who wouldn't want to buy it?
Huh?
317
00:13:51,513 --> 00:13:52,863
I dare you to tell me.
318
00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:54,664
I cannot tell you.
I lose the dare.
319
00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:56,033
Mm-hm. That's right.
320
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,735
So did anybody come by
and look at it yet?
321
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,085
Uh, no.
322
00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:02,472
No. That's okay!
It's totally okay.
323
00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,208
Nobody sells a house
after the first 2 weeks.
324
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,160
No. Nobody. I mean,
well, people do,
325
00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:08,078
but that's ok!
326
00:14:08,079 --> 00:14:09,029
It's great. Yeah.
327
00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:10,331
It's great.
328
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:12,649
By the way, I, uh, talked
to the electrician,
329
00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:14,752
and he said to fix the wiring
330
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:15,786
and patch up the hole,
331
00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:18,055
it's gonna run us $1800.
332
00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:19,173
Wow. That's weird because
333
00:14:19,174 --> 00:14:20,374
I talked to the plumber,
334
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:22,243
and he said the leak in
the upstairs bathroom
335
00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:24,011
is gonna run us 1800 too.
336
00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:24,812
Really? Yeah.
337
00:14:24,813 --> 00:14:26,680
Well, that's a"coinky-dink. "
338
00:14:26,681 --> 00:14:28,866
Spooky.
339
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,717
Mm. Mwah!
340
00:14:30,718 --> 00:14:31,851
All right.
341
00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:35,422
We're never gonna sell
this place, are we?
342
00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:36,790
Not ever.
343
00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:38,626
I knew it! I just knew you-
344
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,210
It was a big mistake
with the whole,
345
00:14:40,211 --> 00:14:41,978
"We'll just flip it!
We'll flip it!"
346
00:14:41,979 --> 00:14:43,614
What? That's the way
my boss got rich.
347
00:14:43,615 --> 00:14:44,815
Well, here's the difference.
348
00:14:44,816 --> 00:14:46,717
He's smart. You're dumb as ass!
349
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:49,853
Well, you know what?
350
00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:51,488
This is all your fault really.
351
00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:52,423
What?! Yeah, that's right.
352
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,208
You rushed me into
making an offer with,
353
00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:55,459
"Lou's watering the plants.
354
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:57,795
He's gonna buy the house.
He's got a big brain. "
355
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:58,846
Do not try to pin
this all on me.
356
00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:00,297
This is all your evil plan.
357
00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:01,398
Oh, it's just business, Doug.
358
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:03,867
Oh. You know, actually, we got
exactly what we deserved.
359
00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,568
We pretended to care
about some dead guy
360
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:06,837
whose name we don't even know.
361
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:08,205
I still don't even know it!
362
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:11,475
I want to say Pete, but I'm
pretty sure I'm wrong.
363
00:15:11,476 --> 00:15:14,227
Okay. Lower your voice. The
neighbors will hear us.
364
00:15:14,228 --> 00:15:16,196
We are the neighbors!
365
00:15:22,404 --> 00:15:23,870
By the way, you
promised me a boat.
366
00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:25,372
I'm getting my boat.
367
00:15:25,373 --> 00:15:26,757
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, yes, I am.
368
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:28,074
And I'm naming it after you:
369
00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:29,276
The Dumb As Ass.
370
00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:33,681
Well, let me tell you something,
371
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,082
Captain Sandwich.
372
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:36,516
the only reason why I did this
373
00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:38,418
is so we finally had a
shot at some real money.
374
00:15:38,419 --> 00:15:40,721
It's always about money with you.
You're obsessed!
375
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:42,423
Well, maybe I wouldn't
be if I married a man
376
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:43,990
who had one ounce of ambition.
377
00:15:43,991 --> 00:15:46,393
Oh. Well, then, maybe you
should've married somebody else.
378
00:15:46,394 --> 00:15:47,727
Well, too late for that now.
379
00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:49,512
No. Hey. You know, we
get divorced, huh?
380
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:50,931
I'll divorce you right now.
381
00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:53,199
Oh. I will divorce
the crap out of you.
382
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,839
Let's jus- Let's
just regroup, okay?
383
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:01,442
Come on. All right.
384
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:04,578
Now let's just fix
what we can fix
385
00:16:04,579 --> 00:16:05,879
and sell the house
for what we can,
386
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,347
and just get back
387
00:16:07,348 --> 00:16:10,250
to our normal,
poverty-stricken lives.
388
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,687
I would love that.
389
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:16,423
I'm sorry for- For what I said.
390
00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:17,858
I know you are.
391
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,243
You would never
divorce me, right?
392
00:16:20,244 --> 00:16:21,328
No.
393
00:16:23,214 --> 00:16:24,264
No!
394
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,677
That's it. Finish it all.
395
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,448
You know, this coffee is
396
00:16:41,449 --> 00:16:42,900
starting to grow on me.
397
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,201
Mm-hm.
398
00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,519
Is anything else...
399
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,454
growing on you?
400
00:16:47,455 --> 00:16:49,039
Ooh.
401
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,707
Oh. By the way,
402
00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:52,242
I have to cancel
our date tomorrow.
403
00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:54,261
I'm going out of town. What?
404
00:16:55,563 --> 00:16:57,947
Well, I- I'll only
be gone for a week.
405
00:16:57,948 --> 00:16:59,566
Well. A lot can
happen in a week.
406
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,568
What if your hair falls out,
407
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:03,403
or you have difficulty blinking?
408
00:17:03,404 --> 00:17:04,638
I- I'll never know.
409
00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:09,726
Arthur, you know, I- I
really enjoy being with you.
410
00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:13,263
But I must say, some of your
questions are awfully strange.
411
00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:15,265
You know, you gals amaze me.
412
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,068
You're always saying we men
are afraid of intimacy.
413
00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:20,337
But I ask you for
one stool sample,
414
00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:21,738
and suddenly I'm the bad guy.
415
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:27,328
What is going on here?
416
00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:29,279
I'm doing a drug trial. What?
417
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,831
I was afraid of
the side effects,
418
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,816
so I've been putting the
pills in your coffee.
419
00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:38,088
Oh, my-! How dare you!
420
00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:40,641
How dare me?
421
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,643
I've been plying you
with top-of-the-line
422
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:43,944
experimental drugs,
423
00:17:43,945 --> 00:17:46,312
and now you're leaving
me in the lurch!
424
00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:50,884
Oh! To think I actually
thought you cared about me,
425
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,987
when all the time I was
just your lab rat.
426
00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:54,938
I understand you're upset,
427
00:17:54,939 --> 00:17:56,105
but just tell me one thing.
428
00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,474
What?
429
00:17:57,475 --> 00:17:59,626
Would you say your
psoriasis is much better,
430
00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:01,828
somewhat better, or
no change at all?
431
00:18:08,269 --> 00:18:10,437
Here we have a lovely
working fireplace,
432
00:18:10,438 --> 00:18:12,205
perfect for roasting
marshmallows
433
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,942
when little- Little Michael
has some sleepovers.
434
00:18:14,943 --> 00:18:15,859
It's Malik.
435
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:16,926
Malik. Right.
436
00:18:16,927 --> 00:18:18,611
Either way, he's a little stud.
437
00:18:18,612 --> 00:18:20,680
Good thing I'm not gonna be
his teacher when he's 13.
438
00:18:20,681 --> 00:18:23,033
You know what I'm saying? Ha!
439
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,669
You know? Ha-ha!
440
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,687
Hey! Hey, honey. This is Larry
441
00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:29,656
and Vanessa Taylor,
and their son, Malik.
442
00:18:29,657 --> 00:18:32,092
How you doing? Whoa. Don't
want to mess with this guy.
443
00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:34,762
Can we look at the
kitchen again?
444
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,930
Sure. Go ahead and take
it for a test drive.
445
00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:37,765
Ah. Heh-heh!
446
00:18:40,951 --> 00:18:42,603
Honey, I think
they're interested.
447
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:43,737
Oh, that's great.
448
00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:45,438
Oh, what about all
the, uh, wire repairs
449
00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,541
and the plumbing repairs?
All done.
450
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:49,559
You're kidding me.
What did it cost us?
451
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,161
Not as much as you think.
452
00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:52,829
That's great. How much?
453
00:18:54,882 --> 00:18:56,382
Sorry, what was it?
454
00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:57,901
Seventy-five dollars. Ahem.
455
00:18:57,902 --> 00:18:58,919
Seventy-five- It was
456
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,587
supposed to cost us
like four grand.
457
00:19:00,588 --> 00:19:02,706
Who the hell did it for 75?
458
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,890
Barefoot guy.
459
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,844
Barefoot guy?! Does-?
460
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,845
Did he even really fix anything?
461
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:10,280
Oh, fix, not fix.
462
00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:11,398
Why do you always gotta
463
00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:12,866
slap a label on everything?
464
00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:15,752
Carrie, we cannot do this.
465
00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:17,638
We are not screwing
over these people.
466
00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:19,022
What? The old lady
screwed us over,
467
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:20,790
so we're gonna screw
over somebody else.
468
00:19:20,791 --> 00:19:22,359
It's the circle of life.
469
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,260
Carrie? Yes?
470
00:19:25,763 --> 00:19:27,981
Think we'd like to
put in an offer.
471
00:19:27,982 --> 00:19:29,650
Really?
472
00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:31,201
This is a great house.
473
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:32,735
And that little
room off the master
474
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,321
is gonna be perfect
for the baby.
475
00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:36,073
Baby?
476
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:38,241
Yeah. We got one on the way.
477
00:19:39,593 --> 00:19:40,660
Uh...
478
00:19:40,661 --> 00:19:41,962
a- a-actually,
479
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,396
D- Doug and I have been talking,
480
00:19:43,397 --> 00:19:44,397
and, uh, we don't think
481
00:19:44,398 --> 00:19:45,432
this is the-
482
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,084
It's the right house for you.
483
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,252
Why not?
484
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,519
Oh, we just don't think you're-
485
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,555
You're gonna be happy here.
486
00:19:51,556 --> 00:19:53,423
Is this 'cause we're black?
487
00:19:53,424 --> 00:19:54,374
What? No.
488
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,609
No, no.
489
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,810
Then what's the problem?
490
00:19:56,811 --> 00:19:58,512
The house has a million
things wrong with it.
491
00:19:58,513 --> 00:20:00,430
It's a very bad house.
492
00:20:00,431 --> 00:20:02,432
It was fine a few minutes ago.
493
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,301
Look, we're telling
you the truth, okay?
494
00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:05,819
Oh, you don't believe-
495
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,870
Can I borrow this for a second?
496
00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:08,371
Okay. All right, thank you.
497
00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:10,540
How's this for fine
craftsmanship?
498
00:20:13,677 --> 00:20:15,678
Actually, that wall
is pretty solid.
499
00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:17,647
Honey, why don't you show
them the broken pipes?
500
00:20:17,648 --> 00:20:19,482
That'll prove we
love black people.
501
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:22,686
Yes! Yes! Great idea!
502
00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:24,621
Okay. Everybody, you
better take cover.
503
00:20:26,457 --> 00:20:28,491
Get up there girl.
Okay. All right.
504
00:20:28,492 --> 00:20:29,859
Hit it. Come on.
I'm trying, baby.
505
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,895
Just jab at it. That's it.
See? I'm jabbing.
506
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,546
Yeah, bad. Bad house.
507
00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:37,817
Shame on you.
508
00:20:44,058 --> 00:20:45,893
You better watch your back.
509
00:21:11,869 --> 00:21:13,387
So should we take the offer?
510
00:21:13,388 --> 00:21:15,389
I don't know. We're
getting killed here.
511
00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,124
What other choice do we have?
512
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,026
All right.
513
00:21:20,194 --> 00:21:21,428
Let's do this. Okay.
514
00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:26,666
Lou...
515
00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:28,301
we've decided to
accept your offer.
516
00:21:28,302 --> 00:21:29,102
Great.
517
00:21:30,270 --> 00:21:32,522
We still think you're
low-balling us.
518
00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:33,973
Oh, I am.
35290
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