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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:14,080 Oh, that's, uh- That's my pillow. 2 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,781 What? 3 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,200 That pillow behind you. That one- 4 00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:18,618 That one's mine. 5 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,587 Well, there's two perfectly good pillows right there. 6 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,122 No way. 7 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,091 This one's too puffy, and this one's too flat. 8 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,792 Can I have my pillow, please? I need it. 9 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:29,462 It's perfect for my special head needs. 10 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,146 Well, I'm sorry. I'm all set up here. 11 00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:33,549 So why don't you lay your special head 12 00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,684 on one of these pillows, close your eyes 13 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,986 and fall asleep. 14 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,941 Okay, is that what you think happens here every night? 15 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:45,228 I just... close my eyes and fall asleep? 16 00:00:45,229 --> 00:00:46,194 Yeah. 17 00:00:46,195 --> 00:00:47,980 That's pretty much how it goes down. 18 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,848 Okay, Carrie, that is my pillow, 19 00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:51,783 and I want her now. 20 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,004 And I am telling you, Doug, 21 00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:57,673 that I'm... not... moving. 22 00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:34,910 I don't care. 23 00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:39,081 Yeah. 24 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,002 You know what? 25 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,169 You are such a baby. 26 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,705 Yeah? Here, here, here. 27 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,240 And now I'm gonna sleep like one too. 28 00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,177 Actually, I think that's my pillow, 29 00:02:09,178 --> 00:02:11,280 right there. 30 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,469 Gin rummy, you and me, right now. 31 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,637 Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. 32 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,439 I have to finish this report. 33 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:59,578 You can keep dealin'. I'm still not playin'. 34 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:02,380 Dad, if you have nothing to do, 35 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,417 why don't you go down to the senior center? 36 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,303 No. Not as along as George Barksdale is president. 37 00:03:07,304 --> 00:03:10,038 He picks the movies, he picks the pudding, 38 00:03:10,039 --> 00:03:13,875 and if ya cross him, good luck in getting a bingo card. 39 00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:15,761 Well, if you're so unhappy, 40 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,463 why don't you just say something? 41 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,781 The last guy who did that 42 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:23,218 was "accidentally" run over by a Rascal scooter. 43 00:03:23,219 --> 00:03:26,221 Barksdale's goons are everywhere. 44 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,293 I'm tellin' ya I gave it back to you. 45 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,361 No, you didn't. 46 00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,679 You came a long way for some humble pie. 47 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,814 Hey, guys. 48 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,533 Hey, Car. Hey. 49 00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:41,771 Deacon seems to think we have his Earth, Wind & Fire box set. 50 00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,406 Now, you haven't seen it, right? 51 00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,495 Yes. It's right there on the bookshelf. 52 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,247 I told you to give it back to him. 53 00:03:51,248 --> 00:03:53,499 Thanks. 54 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,100 Okay, was, uh... 55 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,601 this not clear to you? 56 00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,972 Anyway, I'm gonna head out. 57 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,240 What ya talkin' about? We were gonna watch the Knicks. 58 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,359 I gotta get up early to take 59 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,227 that personnel evaluation test at work. 60 00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:07,646 No- No, they didn't tell you? It's- It's optional. 61 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,981 I know. I'm still taking it. 62 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,566 Okay, do you know what "optional" means? 63 00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:13,886 I don't wanna be a driver my whole life. Here's a chance 64 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,054 for me to improve myself and move up in the company. 65 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,923 I think I can get up an hour earlier for that. 66 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,925 Yeah? Well, while you're improving yourself, 67 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,360 I'll be laying in bed holding in a bladder full of pee. 68 00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:32,371 What's this test Deacon's talking about? 69 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,589 It's nothin'. 70 00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,491 He said it can help you move up in the company. 71 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,176 How come you're not taking it? 72 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,929 Does anybody know what "optional" means? 73 00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,330 It's not for a specific promotion. 74 00:04:41,331 --> 00:04:44,717 It's just some kind of general aptitude thing. 75 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,202 Oh, I see. So you're taking yourself out of the running 76 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,438 for any promotion ever? 77 00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:51,640 From your lips to his ears. 78 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,809 Look, Carrie, I'd probably do lousy at it anyway. 79 00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,562 Well, how do you know if you don't even try, Doug? 80 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,963 We've been married for 10 years, 81 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,399 but I've never seen you really try for anything. 82 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,034 Believe me, I've tried for things. 83 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,084 Oh, yeah, that's right. 84 00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:06,021 You did try to finish Newark's biggest burrito. 85 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,274 It would've been free. 86 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:12,778 All right, forget it. Sorry I even brought it up. 87 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,469 You know, I did try for something once. 88 00:05:22,505 --> 00:05:24,073 It was 1989, 89 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,926 and I was working as bouncer at this place called Poison, 90 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,095 one of the hottest clubs in Queens. 91 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:33,182 But what I really wanted to be... 92 00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:35,434 was a bartender. 93 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,452 The movie Cocktail was taking the world by storm 94 00:05:37,453 --> 00:05:39,170 and dishing out booze 95 00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:40,805 was the coolest job a guy could have. 96 00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:45,410 Then finally one night, my boss said 97 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,579 the magic words I'd been waiting to hear. 98 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:48,831 "Mike called in sick. 99 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,416 "He ate some bad salmon. 100 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,784 He's been on the toilet all day. " 101 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,037 I finally got my shot. 102 00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:05,798 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 103 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,650 Ya understand now? 104 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,920 Well, I don't remember Cocktail taking the world by storm, 105 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,289 but other than that, yeah, I guess. 106 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,190 Let me tell ya. I learned something that night. 107 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,077 You don't try for things, you don't get hurt. 108 00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,228 Doug, is this all because of what happened 109 00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:40,416 15 years ago at some stupid club? 110 00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:42,334 Stupid? Okay. Stupid clu- 111 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,470 That's why Bell, Biv and DeVoe were regulars. 112 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:51,659 All I'm saying, in my career, okay, 113 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,829 I try for things, and yet I fail, 114 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,430 and it hurts, but I keep trying. 115 00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:57,516 You wanna know why? 116 00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,652 You're a slow learner? 117 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,821 No, because I want a better life for us. 118 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,940 Better? 119 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,277 Doug, please. 120 00:07:09,278 --> 00:07:10,979 Carrie, I don't know what you want from me. 121 00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,981 I'm just a truck driver, and I'm fine with that. 122 00:07:12,982 --> 00:07:14,649 Why can't you be? 123 00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,002 Because I don't think you're just a truck driver, Doug. 124 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,771 I think you're a smart, talented guy 125 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,274 who could do anything he wants to. 126 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,177 I just wish you felt the same way. 127 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,473 I did it. Did what? 128 00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,975 I thought about what you said last night, and you're right. 129 00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,593 I shouldn't be afraid to try something, 130 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,028 so I went out, and I did it. 131 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,813 You took the I.P.S. test? 132 00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:47,649 No, no- I enrolled in bartending school. 133 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,073 Bartending school? 134 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,441 Yeah, it's a two-week course. 135 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,342 I already called Paddy down at Cooper's. 136 00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:58,643 He's gonna give me some shifts 137 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,546 as soon as I get my certification. 138 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,230 Doug, you're gonna be a bartender 139 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,917 and quit your job at I.P.S.? 140 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,335 No, no, not yet. But, hey, who knows 141 00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:09,171 where this wild ride is gonna take us, you know? 142 00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:10,973 You know, I- I don't want a wild ride. 143 00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:12,757 Maybe someday we'll have our own bar. 144 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:13,758 We can call it... 145 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,193 "Doug's Place. " 146 00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,680 Slow down, honey- 147 00:08:17,681 --> 00:08:19,414 Or I can change my name to Melrose, 148 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:22,017 and we can call it "Melrose Place. " 149 00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:23,735 Hey, guys. What's going on? 150 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:24,719 I'm going back to school. 151 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,938 Oh, great! 152 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,106 Yeah, bartending school. 153 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,941 Ooh, better yet. 154 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,292 Bravo, Douglas. And while we're making announcements, 155 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:34,196 I've decided to run for senior center president. 156 00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:35,531 Good for you. 157 00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:38,000 Yes. I'm going to end Barksdale's reign of terror 158 00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:40,335 and begin my own. 159 00:08:40,336 --> 00:08:41,970 All right, see you guys later. 160 00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,038 All right. 161 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,007 Bartender. 162 00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:46,191 Rarr! 163 00:08:50,413 --> 00:08:53,014 Doug, you have a union job 164 00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:55,384 with a pension and health benefits. 165 00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:57,252 You can't throw all that away. That's crazy. 166 00:08:57,253 --> 00:09:00,155 I know it's crazy, but you told me I'm talented, and I'm great, 167 00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:02,491 and you said I could do whatever I wanted, right? 168 00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:03,759 Yes. 169 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,476 If you believe in me, that's all I need. 170 00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:06,712 Mwah! Ha-ha! 171 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,449 Crap. 172 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,793 All right, everybody, settle down. 173 00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:27,782 So... 174 00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,885 you people think you have what it takes, huh? 175 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,106 Think ya can cut it? 176 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,642 Think ya got the right stuff? 177 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,344 Is this the 1-2-3 bartending class? 178 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,396 Get out. Huh? 179 00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,247 Get out! 180 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,934 You thought this was gonna be easy. 181 00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:47,302 Well, let me tell ya something. 182 00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:49,304 One out of three of you ain't gonna make it 183 00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:50,572 through this course. 184 00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:53,242 So I want you to look at the person to your left 185 00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:55,828 and look at the person to your right, 186 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,513 because one of those people ain't gonna be here tomorrow, 187 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,449 and that person could- 188 00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:03,252 Where you lookin', meat? 189 00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,921 I, uh- I-I-I didn't have anybody to my right, so I just- 190 00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:07,456 You- You know what? I'll go- 191 00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:09,190 Sit down. I'm gonna sit down. 192 00:10:11,894 --> 00:10:13,462 All right. 193 00:10:13,463 --> 00:10:14,930 Let's dive in. 194 00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:18,233 Rule number one: 195 00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,035 A depressed customer 196 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,303 is the best customer. 197 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,687 Good job, huh? 198 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,789 Hey. 199 00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,977 I ain't shakin' your hand, meat. 200 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,228 You're not? 201 00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:54,829 Come here. Ha-ha! 202 00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,918 Huh? Hey! 203 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,219 Yeah! 204 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:08,127 There he is, the smug despot, drunk with power. 205 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,314 All right, Holly, 206 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,949 you're my campaign manager. 207 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:14,300 Let's get goin'. 208 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,270 Okay, well, I guess you should tell people why you're running. 209 00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,655 What's your platform? 210 00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,090 Essentially, my platform is 211 00:12:20,091 --> 00:12:22,742 I'd like to be president very badly. 212 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,477 Okay, but the voters are gonna wanna know 213 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,880 what you're gonna do once you're elected. 214 00:12:26,881 --> 00:12:28,314 That's none of their business. 215 00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,509 Okay, here we go. 216 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,929 What can I get you? 217 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,230 Uh, club soda, please. 218 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,182 Yeah. 219 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,517 What is it? 220 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,018 Oh, it's just that I... 221 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,987 just graduated from bartending school, 222 00:12:50,988 --> 00:12:52,606 and you're my first customer. 223 00:12:52,607 --> 00:12:53,857 Well, that's great. 224 00:12:53,858 --> 00:12:55,191 Yeah, I was kind of hoping 225 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,893 that my first drink would be memorable. 226 00:12:56,894 --> 00:13:00,897 You know, like a mai tai or a Bermuda rum swizzle. 227 00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:02,698 Yeah. Uh, look, I- I- 228 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,401 I got a little drinking problem, you know, so I'd- 229 00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:07,203 I'd just rather not, yeah. 230 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,939 Guy, just one. 231 00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:15,145 Double scotch, neat. 232 00:13:15,146 --> 00:13:16,329 There you go. 233 00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,851 Alrighty. 234 00:13:36,366 --> 00:13:37,801 Oh, yeah. 235 00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:43,990 Hey, what can I get for ya? 236 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,224 Just a Bud Light. 237 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,776 Uh, you know I do serve 238 00:13:46,777 --> 00:13:49,412 16 kinds of beer from Europe, heh. 239 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,913 Great. You're a regular Epcot Center. 240 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,582 Just give me a Bud Light. 241 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,050 Comin' right up. 242 00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:55,785 Here we go. 243 00:13:55,786 --> 00:13:56,786 Oh. 244 00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:58,121 All right. 245 00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,489 Ahem. Okay, uh- Whoa! 246 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,558 Okay. Whoa-ho. That's, uh- That's half price, 247 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,928 that one right there. That's half price. 248 00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:06,529 I mean, I just don't know what to do. 249 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,832 Should I talk to Steve? Should I not talk to Steve? 250 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,600 I mean, is he ever gonna change? 251 00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:14,904 Uh, you know, ladies, 252 00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:16,823 those drinks come with free advice, 253 00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,858 and man problems... 254 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,626 is my specialty. 255 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,028 Oh. 256 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,662 Well, can you tell me how to get my husband 257 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,497 to stop sleeping with every woman he meets 258 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,301 and spend about 10 minutes with his own son? 259 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:32,071 No, but let me set you ladies up with some beer nuts. 260 00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,191 Hey. 261 00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,692 So... how'd it go? 262 00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,226 I did good. 263 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,478 Great. 264 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:58,130 I'm officially a bartender's wife. 265 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:02,202 Just what I've always wanted, a husband who reeks of olives. 266 00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,820 Actually, you're gonna have that either way. 267 00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,608 But don't worry. I'm giving up bartending. 268 00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:09,976 I'm gonna stick with I.P.S. 269 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,194 Really? Yeah. 270 00:15:11,195 --> 00:15:12,345 I don't know. All these years, 271 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,547 I built up bartending to be such this magical thing. 272 00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:16,082 You know, it turns out it's just a- 273 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,834 Another stupid job. 274 00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,602 I'll tell ya, I'm glad I did it, though, 275 00:15:19,603 --> 00:15:23,573 'cause 15 years ago, oh, I screwed up bigtime, you know? 276 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,842 And tonight I just proved that I could do it, you know? 277 00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,844 I- I just conquered my demon. 278 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,670 Did you, uh... 279 00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:40,356 make this all tonight in tips? 280 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,091 Actually, more. On the way home, 281 00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:44,560 I hit an Arby's drive-through pretty hard. 282 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,246 Are you sure you're not giving up 283 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,499 on this bartending thing a little too soon? 284 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,868 What are you talking about? You said it was a dumb idea. 285 00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,486 Yeah, but that was before... eh! 286 00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:54,888 I mean... 287 00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:56,522 honey, if you can make all this 288 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,992 in one night in some crappy bar in Queens, 289 00:15:58,993 --> 00:16:00,894 just think what you can make in Manhattan. 290 00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:03,496 As a matter of fact, there's a bar next-door to where I work. 291 00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:05,598 I know the owner. I can get you in there. 292 00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:07,383 No, that's it. I'm done with this whole thing. 293 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,385 I'm over it. I conquered my demon. 294 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,254 I don't think you did. What are ya-? 295 00:16:13,257 --> 00:16:14,423 What are you talkin' about? 296 00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:16,276 I conquered the crap out of it. 297 00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:19,295 No. No, I don't think you- You conquered your demon at all. 298 00:16:19,296 --> 00:16:20,797 You know, now that I think about it, 299 00:16:20,798 --> 00:16:23,650 your demon wasn't not trying, 300 00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:25,151 you know, it was quitting. 301 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,752 Yeah, that's your demon right there. 302 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,121 Quitter. 303 00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:29,505 No, no, no, that's not my demon. 304 00:16:29,506 --> 00:16:32,408 I'll tell ya what my demon is. My demon is you. 305 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,910 Come on, Doug. All we've been talking about is your dreams. 306 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,112 What about my dreams? 307 00:16:36,113 --> 00:16:37,880 I've always wanted to live in Manhattan, 308 00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:39,565 If we had more money, we could do that. 309 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,985 Look, I want you to be happy, okay? 310 00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:44,287 Maybe I'll- I'll take that I.P.S. test, 311 00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:45,955 and I can move up through the company- 312 00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,874 Okay, you know what? If I hear one more word 313 00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:50,844 about that stupid I.P.S. test, I'm gonna puke. 314 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,264 Come on, honey. We could do this. 315 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:55,698 I mean, we'll have my salary. 316 00:16:55,699 --> 00:16:58,902 You'll be working in the bar four or five times a week. 317 00:16:58,903 --> 00:17:02,188 In this dream, uh, am I also working at I.P.S.? 318 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,540 Manhattan ain't cheap, babe. Okay? 319 00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:06,075 This is a whole new life for us! 320 00:17:06,076 --> 00:17:07,676 Yeah, but if I'm working all the time, 321 00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:08,912 you'll never see me. 322 00:17:08,913 --> 00:17:11,030 Yeah, but I'll have eh-heh! 323 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,020 Thank you very much. 324 00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:19,655 Ah, Josephine, my dear, 325 00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:21,875 I hope I can count on your vote. 326 00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,109 Oh, well, actually I'm voting for Mr. Barksdale. 327 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:27,180 I think he's doing a very nice job. 328 00:17:27,181 --> 00:17:28,464 I see. 329 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,501 Welcome to my enemies list. 330 00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,304 Spooner. 331 00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:37,607 I understand you've been questioning my war record. 332 00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,392 I just think people have a right to know 333 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,195 why you didn't serve in Vietnam. 334 00:17:42,196 --> 00:17:44,147 Because I was 60. 335 00:17:45,182 --> 00:17:47,883 Sixty or just plain yella? 336 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,253 How are we doing in the polls? 337 00:17:51,254 --> 00:17:53,423 Ten people say they're gonna vote for you, 338 00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:56,308 16 for Barksdale, and three for McGovern. 339 00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,662 There's my problem. 340 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,548 He's got the black vote all sewn up. 341 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,666 Not much you can do about that. 342 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,604 Or... is there? 343 00:18:14,378 --> 00:18:15,361 Hey, what's going on? 344 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,180 You said there was some sort of emergency. 345 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,415 Ah, Deacon, slap it high. 346 00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,235 What? How's by you, 347 00:18:22,236 --> 00:18:25,454 my talented and very equal friend? 348 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,442 Wh-what exactly is the emergency? 349 00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:31,660 Well, actually it was an emergency of the heart. 350 00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,796 I haven't seen you since the Million Man March, 351 00:18:33,797 --> 00:18:35,064 and I need a hug. 352 00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:37,266 Now. 353 00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:40,536 What the hell's goin' on? 354 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,921 All right, look, I'm running for senior center president, 355 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,624 and I need the black vote to win. 356 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,575 Play ball, and you and your family 357 00:18:46,576 --> 00:18:49,462 will have powdered milk for the rest of your lives. 358 00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:53,716 What? Do you know how insulting this is? 359 00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:54,950 Hey, everybody, 360 00:18:54,951 --> 00:18:57,420 Arthur Spooner is a bad man. 361 00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:02,458 You hear that, everyone? I'm bad! 362 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,791 They keep coming! 363 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,793 Why is everyone so thirsty? 364 00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:24,747 You're doing great, just move a little faster, honey. 365 00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:28,250 Hey. Great bartender, huh? 366 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,719 Cute too, don't you think? 367 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,553 He's kinda sweaty. 368 00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:33,189 And I ain't hatin' it. 369 00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,143 Whoa. Fifty-cent tip. 370 00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:40,746 How am I gonna get to Manhattan with that? 371 00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:46,602 Doug, do that. Do what he's doing. 372 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,803 What? 373 00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:49,322 Do the bottle flip. 374 00:19:49,323 --> 00:19:51,290 The only time I did that move was in class, 375 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,759 and it was with a Nerf bottle. 376 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,661 Do it for me, baby, please? 377 00:19:58,481 --> 00:19:59,732 Hey! 378 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,751 Okay. 379 00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:22,588 So the bartending didn't work out as well as we hoped. 380 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,158 But you're still great, 381 00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:27,193 and you're still talented. 382 00:20:28,278 --> 00:20:29,378 Okay, you know what? 383 00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:31,714 Tomorrow morning, you are gonna march in there, 384 00:20:31,715 --> 00:20:33,849 and you are gonna take that I.P.S. test, 385 00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:36,018 and you're gonna show 'em what's what. 386 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,837 Oh. Yeah. 387 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:42,641 "Employee demonstrates no special skills 388 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,777 "or potential for advancement. 389 00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:47,013 "His qualifications for his current job 390 00:20:47,014 --> 00:20:48,948 are questionable at best. " 391 00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:52,584 Well... 392 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,054 now we know. 393 00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,511 Spooner. 394 00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:02,545 Hello, Barksdale. 395 00:21:04,215 --> 00:21:06,349 Congratulations on your unanimous victory. 396 00:21:07,802 --> 00:21:10,604 I hope we can put all this ugliness behind us. 397 00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:11,704 'Fraid not. 398 00:21:21,899 --> 00:21:23,799 Just not in the face. 28304

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