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1
00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:14,080
Oh, that's, uh-
That's my pillow.
2
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,781
What?
3
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,200
That pillow behind you.
That one-
4
00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:18,618
That one's mine.
5
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,587
Well, there's two perfectly
good pillows right there.
6
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,122
No way.
7
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,091
This one's too puffy, and
this one's too flat.
8
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,792
Can I have my pillow, please?
I need it.
9
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:29,462
It's perfect for my
special head needs.
10
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,146
Well, I'm sorry. I'm
all set up here.
11
00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:33,549
So why don't you lay
your special head
12
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,684
on one of these pillows,
close your eyes
13
00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,986
and fall asleep.
14
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,941
Okay, is that what you think
happens here every night?
15
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:45,228
I just... close my
eyes and fall asleep?
16
00:00:45,229 --> 00:00:46,194
Yeah.
17
00:00:46,195 --> 00:00:47,980
That's pretty much
how it goes down.
18
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,848
Okay, Carrie, that is my pillow,
19
00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:51,783
and I want her now.
20
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,004
And I am telling you, Doug,
21
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:57,673
that I'm... not... moving.
22
00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:34,910
I don't care.
23
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:39,081
Yeah.
24
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,002
You know what?
25
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,169
You are such a baby.
26
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,705
Yeah? Here, here, here.
27
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,240
And now I'm gonna
sleep like one too.
28
00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,177
Actually, I think
that's my pillow,
29
00:02:09,178 --> 00:02:11,280
right there.
30
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,469
Gin rummy, you and
me, right now.
31
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,637
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
32
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,439
I have to finish this report.
33
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:59,578
You can keep dealin'.
I'm still not playin'.
34
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:02,380
Dad, if you have nothing to do,
35
00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,417
why don't you go down
to the senior center?
36
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,303
No. Not as along as George
Barksdale is president.
37
00:03:07,304 --> 00:03:10,038
He picks the movies,
he picks the pudding,
38
00:03:10,039 --> 00:03:13,875
and if ya cross him, good
luck in getting a bingo card.
39
00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:15,761
Well, if you're so unhappy,
40
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,463
why don't you just
say something?
41
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,781
The last guy who did that
42
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:23,218
was "accidentally" run
over by a Rascal scooter.
43
00:03:23,219 --> 00:03:26,221
Barksdale's goons
are everywhere.
44
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,293
I'm tellin' ya I
gave it back to you.
45
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,361
No, you didn't.
46
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,679
You came a long way
for some humble pie.
47
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,814
Hey, guys.
48
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,533
Hey, Car. Hey.
49
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:41,771
Deacon seems to think we have
his Earth, Wind & Fire box set.
50
00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,406
Now, you haven't seen it, right?
51
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:49,495
Yes. It's right there
on the bookshelf.
52
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,247
I told you to give
it back to him.
53
00:03:51,248 --> 00:03:53,499
Thanks.
54
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,100
Okay, was, uh...
55
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,601
this not clear to you?
56
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,972
Anyway, I'm gonna head out.
57
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,240
What ya talkin' about? We
were gonna watch the Knicks.
58
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,359
I gotta get up early to take
59
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,227
that personnel
evaluation test at work.
60
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:07,646
No- No, they didn't tell you?
It's- It's optional.
61
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,981
I know. I'm still taking it.
62
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,566
Okay, do you know what
"optional" means?
63
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:13,886
I don't wanna be a driver my whole life.
Here's a chance
64
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,054
for me to improve myself and
move up in the company.
65
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,923
I think I can get up an
hour earlier for that.
66
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,925
Yeah? Well, while you're
improving yourself,
67
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,360
I'll be laying in bed holding
in a bladder full of pee.
68
00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:32,371
What's this test
Deacon's talking about?
69
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,589
It's nothin'.
70
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,491
He said it can help you
move up in the company.
71
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,176
How come you're not taking it?
72
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,929
Does anybody know what
"optional" means?
73
00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,330
It's not for a
specific promotion.
74
00:04:41,331 --> 00:04:44,717
It's just some kind of
general aptitude thing.
75
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,202
Oh, I see. So you're taking
yourself out of the running
76
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,438
for any promotion ever?
77
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:51,640
From your lips to his ears.
78
00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,809
Look, Carrie, I'd probably
do lousy at it anyway.
79
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,562
Well, how do you know if
you don't even try, Doug?
80
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,963
We've been married for 10 years,
81
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,399
but I've never seen you
really try for anything.
82
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,034
Believe me, I've
tried for things.
83
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,084
Oh, yeah, that's right.
84
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:06,021
You did try to finish
Newark's biggest burrito.
85
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,274
It would've been free.
86
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:12,778
All right, forget it. Sorry
I even brought it up.
87
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,469
You know, I did try
for something once.
88
00:05:22,505 --> 00:05:24,073
It was 1989,
89
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,926
and I was working as bouncer
at this place called Poison,
90
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,095
one of the hottest
clubs in Queens.
91
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:33,182
But what I really
wanted to be...
92
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:35,434
was a bartender.
93
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,452
The movie Cocktail was
taking the world by storm
94
00:05:37,453 --> 00:05:39,170
and dishing out booze
95
00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:40,805
was the coolest job
a guy could have.
96
00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:45,410
Then finally one
night, my boss said
97
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,579
the magic words I'd
been waiting to hear.
98
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:48,831
"Mike called in sick.
99
00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,416
"He ate some bad salmon.
100
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,784
He's been on the toilet all day. "
101
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,037
I finally got my shot.
102
00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:05,798
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
103
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,650
Ya understand now?
104
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,920
Well, I don't remember Cocktail
taking the world by storm,
105
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,289
but other than that,
yeah, I guess.
106
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,190
Let me tell ya. I learned
something that night.
107
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,077
You don't try for things,
you don't get hurt.
108
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:37,228
Doug, is this all because
of what happened
109
00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:40,416
15 years ago at
some stupid club?
110
00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:42,334
Stupid? Okay. Stupid clu-
111
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,470
That's why Bell, Biv and
DeVoe were regulars.
112
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:51,659
All I'm saying, in
my career, okay,
113
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,829
I try for things,
and yet I fail,
114
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,430
and it hurts, but I keep trying.
115
00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:57,516
You wanna know why?
116
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,652
You're a slow learner?
117
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,821
No, because I want a
better life for us.
118
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,940
Better?
119
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,277
Doug, please.
120
00:07:09,278 --> 00:07:10,979
Carrie, I don't know
what you want from me.
121
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,981
I'm just a truck driver,
and I'm fine with that.
122
00:07:12,982 --> 00:07:14,649
Why can't you be?
123
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,002
Because I don't think you're
just a truck driver, Doug.
124
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,771
I think you're a
smart, talented guy
125
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,274
who could do anything
he wants to.
126
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,177
I just wish you
felt the same way.
127
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,473
I did it. Did what?
128
00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,975
I thought about what you said
last night, and you're right.
129
00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,593
I shouldn't be afraid
to try something,
130
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,028
so I went out, and I did it.
131
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,813
You took the I.P.S. test?
132
00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:47,649
No, no- I enrolled in
bartending school.
133
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,073
Bartending school?
134
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,441
Yeah, it's a two-week course.
135
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,342
I already called Paddy
down at Cooper's.
136
00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:58,643
He's gonna give me some shifts
137
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,546
as soon as I get
my certification.
138
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,230
Doug, you're gonna
be a bartender
139
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,917
and quit your job at I.P.S.?
140
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,335
No, no, not yet.
But, hey, who knows
141
00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:09,171
where this wild ride is
gonna take us, you know?
142
00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:10,973
You know, I- I don't
want a wild ride.
143
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:12,757
Maybe someday we'll
have our own bar.
144
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:13,758
We can call it...
145
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,193
"Doug's Place. "
146
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,680
Slow down, honey-
147
00:08:17,681 --> 00:08:19,414
Or I can change my
name to Melrose,
148
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:22,017
and we can call it
"Melrose Place. "
149
00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:23,735
Hey, guys. What's going on?
150
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:24,719
I'm going back to school.
151
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,938
Oh, great!
152
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,106
Yeah, bartending school.
153
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,941
Ooh, better yet.
154
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,292
Bravo, Douglas. And while
we're making announcements,
155
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:34,196
I've decided to run for
senior center president.
156
00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:35,531
Good for you.
157
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:38,000
Yes. I'm going to end
Barksdale's reign of terror
158
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:40,335
and begin my own.
159
00:08:40,336 --> 00:08:41,970
All right, see you guys later.
160
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,038
All right.
161
00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,007
Bartender.
162
00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:46,191
Rarr!
163
00:08:50,413 --> 00:08:53,014
Doug, you have a union job
164
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:55,384
with a pension and
health benefits.
165
00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:57,252
You can't throw all that away.
That's crazy.
166
00:08:57,253 --> 00:09:00,155
I know it's crazy, but you told
me I'm talented, and I'm great,
167
00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:02,491
and you said I could do
whatever I wanted, right?
168
00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:03,759
Yes.
169
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,476
If you believe in me,
that's all I need.
170
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:06,712
Mwah! Ha-ha!
171
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,449
Crap.
172
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,793
All right, everybody,
settle down.
173
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:27,782
So...
174
00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,885
you people think you
have what it takes, huh?
175
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,106
Think ya can cut it?
176
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,642
Think ya got the right stuff?
177
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,344
Is this the 1-2-3
bartending class?
178
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,396
Get out. Huh?
179
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,247
Get out!
180
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,934
You thought this
was gonna be easy.
181
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:47,302
Well, let me tell ya something.
182
00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:49,304
One out of three of you
ain't gonna make it
183
00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:50,572
through this course.
184
00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:53,242
So I want you to look at
the person to your left
185
00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:55,828
and look at the
person to your right,
186
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,513
because one of those people
ain't gonna be here tomorrow,
187
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,449
and that person could-
188
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:03,252
Where you lookin', meat?
189
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,921
I, uh- I-I-I didn't have anybody
to my right, so I just-
190
00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:07,456
You- You know what? I'll go-
191
00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:09,190
Sit down. I'm gonna sit down.
192
00:10:11,894 --> 00:10:13,462
All right.
193
00:10:13,463 --> 00:10:14,930
Let's dive in.
194
00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:18,233
Rule number one:
195
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,035
A depressed customer
196
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,303
is the best customer.
197
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,687
Good job, huh?
198
00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,789
Hey.
199
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,977
I ain't shakin' your hand, meat.
200
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,228
You're not?
201
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:54,829
Come here. Ha-ha!
202
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,918
Huh? Hey!
203
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,219
Yeah!
204
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:08,127
There he is, the smug
despot, drunk with power.
205
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:11,314
All right, Holly,
206
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,949
you're my campaign manager.
207
00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:14,300
Let's get goin'.
208
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,270
Okay, well, I guess you should
tell people why you're running.
209
00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,655
What's your platform?
210
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,090
Essentially, my platform is
211
00:12:20,091 --> 00:12:22,742
I'd like to be
president very badly.
212
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,477
Okay, but the voters
are gonna wanna know
213
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,880
what you're gonna do
once you're elected.
214
00:12:26,881 --> 00:12:28,314
That's none of their business.
215
00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,509
Okay, here we go.
216
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,929
What can I get you?
217
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,230
Uh, club soda, please.
218
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,182
Yeah.
219
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,517
What is it?
220
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,018
Oh, it's just that I...
221
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,987
just graduated from
bartending school,
222
00:12:50,988 --> 00:12:52,606
and you're my first customer.
223
00:12:52,607 --> 00:12:53,857
Well, that's great.
224
00:12:53,858 --> 00:12:55,191
Yeah, I was kind of hoping
225
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,893
that my first drink
would be memorable.
226
00:12:56,894 --> 00:13:00,897
You know, like a mai tai
or a Bermuda rum swizzle.
227
00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:02,698
Yeah. Uh, look, I- I-
228
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,401
I got a little drinking
problem, you know, so I'd-
229
00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:07,203
I'd just rather not, yeah.
230
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,939
Guy, just one.
231
00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:15,145
Double scotch, neat.
232
00:13:15,146 --> 00:13:16,329
There you go.
233
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,851
Alrighty.
234
00:13:36,366 --> 00:13:37,801
Oh, yeah.
235
00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:43,990
Hey, what can I get for ya?
236
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,224
Just a Bud Light.
237
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,776
Uh, you know I do serve
238
00:13:46,777 --> 00:13:49,412
16 kinds of beer
from Europe, heh.
239
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,913
Great. You're a
regular Epcot Center.
240
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,582
Just give me a Bud Light.
241
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,050
Comin' right up.
242
00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:55,785
Here we go.
243
00:13:55,786 --> 00:13:56,786
Oh.
244
00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:58,121
All right.
245
00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,489
Ahem. Okay, uh- Whoa!
246
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,558
Okay. Whoa-ho. That's,
uh- That's half price,
247
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,928
that one right there.
That's half price.
248
00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:06,529
I mean, I just don't
know what to do.
249
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,832
Should I talk to Steve?
Should I not talk to Steve?
250
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,600
I mean, is he ever gonna change?
251
00:14:12,736 --> 00:14:14,904
Uh, you know, ladies,
252
00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:16,823
those drinks come
with free advice,
253
00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,858
and man problems...
254
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,626
is my specialty.
255
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,028
Oh.
256
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,662
Well, can you tell me
how to get my husband
257
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,497
to stop sleeping with
every woman he meets
258
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,301
and spend about 10 minutes
with his own son?
259
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:32,071
No, but let me set you ladies
up with some beer nuts.
260
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,191
Hey.
261
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,692
So... how'd it go?
262
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,226
I did good.
263
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,478
Great.
264
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:58,130
I'm officially a
bartender's wife.
265
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:02,202
Just what I've always wanted, a
husband who reeks of olives.
266
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,820
Actually, you're gonna
have that either way.
267
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,608
But don't worry. I'm
giving up bartending.
268
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:09,976
I'm gonna stick with I.P.S.
269
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,194
Really? Yeah.
270
00:15:11,195 --> 00:15:12,345
I don't know. All these years,
271
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,547
I built up bartending to be
such this magical thing.
272
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:16,082
You know, it turns
out it's just a-
273
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,834
Another stupid job.
274
00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,602
I'll tell ya, I'm glad
I did it, though,
275
00:15:19,603 --> 00:15:23,573
'cause 15 years ago, oh, I
screwed up bigtime, you know?
276
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,842
And tonight I just proved
that I could do it, you know?
277
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:27,844
I- I just conquered my demon.
278
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,670
Did you, uh...
279
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:40,356
make this all tonight in tips?
280
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,091
Actually, more. On the way home,
281
00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:44,560
I hit an Arby's
drive-through pretty hard.
282
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,246
Are you sure you're
not giving up
283
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,499
on this bartending thing
a little too soon?
284
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,868
What are you talking about?
You said it was a dumb idea.
285
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,486
Yeah, but that was before... eh!
286
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:54,888
I mean...
287
00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:56,522
honey, if you can make all this
288
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,992
in one night in some
crappy bar in Queens,
289
00:15:58,993 --> 00:16:00,894
just think what you can
make in Manhattan.
290
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:03,496
As a matter of fact, there's a
bar next-door to where I work.
291
00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:05,598
I know the owner. I
can get you in there.
292
00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:07,383
No, that's it. I'm done
with this whole thing.
293
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,385
I'm over it. I
conquered my demon.
294
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,254
I don't think you did.
What are ya-?
295
00:16:13,257 --> 00:16:14,423
What are you talkin' about?
296
00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:16,276
I conquered the crap out of it.
297
00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:19,295
No. No, I don't think you- You
conquered your demon at all.
298
00:16:19,296 --> 00:16:20,797
You know, now that
I think about it,
299
00:16:20,798 --> 00:16:23,650
your demon wasn't not trying,
300
00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:25,151
you know, it was quitting.
301
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,752
Yeah, that's your
demon right there.
302
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,121
Quitter.
303
00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:29,505
No, no, no, that's not my demon.
304
00:16:29,506 --> 00:16:32,408
I'll tell ya what my demon is.
My demon is you.
305
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,910
Come on, Doug. All we've been
talking about is your dreams.
306
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,112
What about my dreams?
307
00:16:36,113 --> 00:16:37,880
I've always wanted to
live in Manhattan,
308
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:39,565
If we had more money,
we could do that.
309
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,985
Look, I want you
to be happy, okay?
310
00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:44,287
Maybe I'll- I'll take that I.P.S.
test,
311
00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:45,955
and I can move up
through the company-
312
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,874
Okay, you know what? If
I hear one more word
313
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:50,844
about that stupid I.P.S.
test, I'm gonna puke.
314
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,264
Come on, honey.
We could do this.
315
00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:55,698
I mean, we'll have my salary.
316
00:16:55,699 --> 00:16:58,902
You'll be working in the bar
four or five times a week.
317
00:16:58,903 --> 00:17:02,188
In this dream, uh, am I
also working at I.P.S.?
318
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,540
Manhattan ain't cheap, babe.
Okay?
319
00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:06,075
This is a whole new life for us!
320
00:17:06,076 --> 00:17:07,676
Yeah, but if I'm
working all the time,
321
00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:08,912
you'll never see me.
322
00:17:08,913 --> 00:17:11,030
Yeah, but I'll have eh-heh!
323
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,020
Thank you very much.
324
00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:19,655
Ah, Josephine, my dear,
325
00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:21,875
I hope I can count on your vote.
326
00:17:21,876 --> 00:17:24,109
Oh, well, actually I'm voting for Mr.
Barksdale.
327
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:27,180
I think he's doing
a very nice job.
328
00:17:27,181 --> 00:17:28,464
I see.
329
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,501
Welcome to my enemies list.
330
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,304
Spooner.
331
00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:37,607
I understand you've been
questioning my war record.
332
00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,392
I just think people
have a right to know
333
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,195
why you didn't serve in Vietnam.
334
00:17:42,196 --> 00:17:44,147
Because I was 60.
335
00:17:45,182 --> 00:17:47,883
Sixty or just plain yella?
336
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,253
How are we doing in the polls?
337
00:17:51,254 --> 00:17:53,423
Ten people say they're
gonna vote for you,
338
00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:56,308
16 for Barksdale, and
three for McGovern.
339
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,662
There's my problem.
340
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,548
He's got the black
vote all sewn up.
341
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,666
Not much you can do about that.
342
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:08,604
Or... is there?
343
00:18:14,378 --> 00:18:15,361
Hey, what's going on?
344
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,180
You said there was some
sort of emergency.
345
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,415
Ah, Deacon, slap it high.
346
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,235
What? How's by you,
347
00:18:22,236 --> 00:18:25,454
my talented and
very equal friend?
348
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,442
Wh-what exactly
is the emergency?
349
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:31,660
Well, actually it was an
emergency of the heart.
350
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,796
I haven't seen you since
the Million Man March,
351
00:18:33,797 --> 00:18:35,064
and I need a hug.
352
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:37,266
Now.
353
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:40,536
What the hell's goin' on?
354
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,921
All right, look, I'm running
for senior center president,
355
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,624
and I need the
black vote to win.
356
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,575
Play ball, and you
and your family
357
00:18:46,576 --> 00:18:49,462
will have powdered milk for
the rest of your lives.
358
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:53,716
What? Do you know how
insulting this is?
359
00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:54,950
Hey, everybody,
360
00:18:54,951 --> 00:18:57,420
Arthur Spooner is a bad man.
361
00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:02,458
You hear that, everyone?
I'm bad!
362
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,791
They keep coming!
363
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,793
Why is everyone so thirsty?
364
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:24,747
You're doing great, just
move a little faster, honey.
365
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:28,250
Hey. Great bartender, huh?
366
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,719
Cute too, don't you think?
367
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,553
He's kinda sweaty.
368
00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:33,189
And I ain't hatin' it.
369
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,143
Whoa. Fifty-cent tip.
370
00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:40,746
How am I gonna get to
Manhattan with that?
371
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:46,602
Doug, do that. Do
what he's doing.
372
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:47,803
What?
373
00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:49,322
Do the bottle flip.
374
00:19:49,323 --> 00:19:51,290
The only time I did
that move was in class,
375
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,759
and it was with a Nerf bottle.
376
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,661
Do it for me, baby, please?
377
00:19:58,481 --> 00:19:59,732
Hey!
378
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,751
Okay.
379
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:22,588
So the bartending didn't work
out as well as we hoped.
380
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:25,158
But you're still great,
381
00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:27,193
and you're still talented.
382
00:20:28,278 --> 00:20:29,378
Okay, you know what?
383
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:31,714
Tomorrow morning, you are
gonna march in there,
384
00:20:31,715 --> 00:20:33,849
and you are gonna take that I.P.S.
test,
385
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:36,018
and you're gonna show
'em what's what.
386
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,837
Oh. Yeah.
387
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:42,641
"Employee demonstrates
no special skills
388
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,777
"or potential for advancement.
389
00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:47,013
"His qualifications
for his current job
390
00:20:47,014 --> 00:20:48,948
are questionable at best. "
391
00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:52,584
Well...
392
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,054
now we know.
393
00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,511
Spooner.
394
00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:02,545
Hello, Barksdale.
395
00:21:04,215 --> 00:21:06,349
Congratulations on your
unanimous victory.
396
00:21:07,802 --> 00:21:10,604
I hope we can put all
this ugliness behind us.
397
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:11,704
'Fraid not.
398
00:21:21,899 --> 00:21:23,799
Just not in the face.
28304
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