All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S07E06 - Off-Track... Bedding (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:09,589 Son of a- 2 00:00:57,923 --> 00:00:59,124 Little help. 3 00:01:37,112 --> 00:01:38,880 Hey, sticky buns. 4 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,716 Aw, it's cute when you give me little nicknames. 5 00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:45,187 Hm? 6 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,721 Nothing. 7 00:01:46,722 --> 00:01:47,922 Aren't my parents here yet? 8 00:01:47,923 --> 00:01:49,057 No. 9 00:01:49,058 --> 00:01:50,842 Uh, they called from the airport, though. 10 00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:54,345 Your father's holding out for a cheaper taxi. 11 00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:56,898 I would've liked to see them before my union meeting tonight. 12 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,767 Union meeting? Since when do you go to union meetings? 13 00:01:59,768 --> 00:02:01,819 Since they started serving beer. 14 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,721 And we might be going on strike or something. 15 00:02:03,722 --> 00:02:05,390 I don't know. What's the big deal? 16 00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,741 Well, Doug, I- I have some work to do. 17 00:02:06,742 --> 00:02:08,426 I need you to entertain your parents. 18 00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,561 And I was kind of hoping to 19 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,763 try out my new bubble bath as well. 20 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,665 "Lavender surrender. " 21 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,151 Make a good stripper name. 22 00:02:16,152 --> 00:02:17,502 All right, Doug. 23 00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:19,955 I'm just saying. I wouldn't have to go to any union meetings 24 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,357 if you could work a couple nights as Lavender Surrender. 25 00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:23,959 All right, come on. I really have stuff 26 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,277 I gotta do tonight. 27 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,728 Relax, all right, I got it covered. 28 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,329 Tonight, I got two theater tickets 29 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,464 for my parents. 30 00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,033 So once they're out of the house, 31 00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,268 you can take a bath, invite your boyfriend over- 32 00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,970 The house is yours. 33 00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:36,705 I just hope they're 34 00:02:36,706 --> 00:02:38,406 getting along a little better. 35 00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:39,474 What? 36 00:02:39,475 --> 00:02:41,092 You remember last month in Florida, 37 00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,328 they were going at each other all the time. 38 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,996 No, they weren't. 39 00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:45,931 Doug, come on. 40 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,732 Your father called your mother an idiot 41 00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:51,169 because she bought him potato chips in a can. 42 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,738 The man likes his chips in a bag. 43 00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,540 Remember that time I got mad at you 44 00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:57,141 because you bought me mini donuts 45 00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:59,744 instead of the regular size? 46 00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:02,280 Does that mean I don't love you? 47 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,983 Well, you did say some pretty hurtful things. 48 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,986 Well, I don't like mini donuts. 49 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,140 There they are. Okay. 50 00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:17,129 Hey! 51 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,963 Hello, honey! 52 00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,198 How are you? Good to see ya. 53 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,933 Hi, Dougie. Hey, Dougie, quick. 54 00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:24,352 Go grab the bags before the cabby gets 'em. 55 00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:25,787 This guy is fishing for a tip. 56 00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:27,939 So how was your flight? 57 00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,374 Oh, it was really nice. 58 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,193 Ah, you know, they recycle the air on those planes, 59 00:03:32,194 --> 00:03:34,796 so it's mostly exhaled carbon dioxide 60 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,465 and flecks of other people's skin. 61 00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:39,784 Did not know that. Hm. 62 00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,987 I brought you the in-flight magazine. 63 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,389 Oh, thank you. There's an article in there 64 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,124 on Arsenio Hall's favorite steak house. 65 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,525 Turns out- 66 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:50,178 Bup-bup-bup-bup. I wanna be surprised. 67 00:03:50,179 --> 00:03:51,980 Still fighting bags with wheels, huh, dad? 68 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,116 Hey, wheels break. Then where are ya? 69 00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,417 Right back to here. 70 00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:58,286 So, Joe, you all ready for your big convention? 71 00:03:58,287 --> 00:04:00,072 Oh, yes, I am. 72 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,708 Feast your eyes on what's gonna bring home 73 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,810 the golden caboose 74 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,978 at the 43rd annual 75 00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,647 Model Train Expo. 76 00:04:09,648 --> 00:04:11,432 Oh, that is pretty sweet. 77 00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,251 Hey, hey, hey. You know the rules. 78 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,253 Oh, come on, Joe. Let him touch the train. 79 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,622 It's not a train. It's an engine. 80 00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,641 Oh, well, in that case, who cares? I care! 81 00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:21,743 You know, for one week- one week out of the year 82 00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:23,645 - could I have that to enjoy myself? 83 00:04:23,646 --> 00:04:24,446 Fine. 84 00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:25,564 Good. 85 00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:31,469 Speaking of enjoying yourselves... 86 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,338 who's going to see Robert Goulet 87 00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:36,041 in Camelot tonight? 88 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,075 Really? Oh? 89 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,144 Oh. That's my favorite show. 90 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,278 I know. 91 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,380 Aw, Joe, look. 92 00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:44,883 Whoa! Sixty-five bucks each. 93 00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,620 I wonder how much of this goes to Goulet. 94 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,988 All right, well, you guys have a great time. 95 00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:52,607 I got a union thing I gotta go to. 96 00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:53,976 Aw, thank you, Dougie. 97 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,894 That was so generous of you. 98 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,245 Come on. 99 00:04:57,246 --> 00:04:58,179 You guys raised me. 100 00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,281 You paid for me to go to college. 101 00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:02,250 Sorry that didn't work out. 102 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,446 Ooh. Look at you. 103 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,381 You look beautiful. 104 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,132 Oh, thank you, Carrie. 105 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,584 I am so looking forward to tonight. 106 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,853 There's nothing more exciting than a live show. 107 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,054 Yeah. 108 00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:24,188 Last live show Doug took me to, 109 00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,291 it was two guys fighting in a cage. 110 00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,294 Oh, no. 111 00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,396 You're not wearing that train hat to the theater. 112 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,431 I can't go. What? 113 00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,216 I got a call from the convention center. 114 00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:37,185 They're assigning table locations tonight, 115 00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,636 not in the morning. So? 116 00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,605 So if I don't get down there ASAP, 117 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:44,609 I'll be way in the back with all those monorail freaks. 118 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,478 But Dougie bought those tickets. 119 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,746 Hey. 120 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,198 The grand conductor makes the assignments, not me. 121 00:05:50,199 --> 00:05:52,350 I'm sorry. I gotta go. 122 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,921 I'm sorry, Janet. 123 00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:57,622 Don't be. 124 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,173 Who needs him? 125 00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:01,008 Hey, maybe you'll come with me. 126 00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,310 We could do a girls' night out? 127 00:06:02,311 --> 00:06:04,396 Ah, I wish I could, but I have all this work. 128 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,331 Oh, yeah, of course, your work. 129 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,500 Hey, you know what? 130 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,503 There's no law against a woman going to the theater by herself. 131 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,271 I just, uh... 132 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,439 I'll do it, and- And- And it'll be better, you know, 133 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,476 because I won't have to fight with Joe for the armrest. 134 00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:19,711 Yeah. There you go. 135 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,913 So I'm just gonna go get my bag. 136 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,633 Hey, Dad. 137 00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,369 You're home early. 138 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,703 Tough night at the senior center. 139 00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:30,605 I had to flip the checkerboard in a fit of rage 140 00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:32,040 earlier than usual. 141 00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:35,610 I take it the duke and duchess 142 00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:37,229 of Fort Lauderdale have arrived. 143 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,696 Yes. 144 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,982 Why do you have such a problem with Doug's parents? 145 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,868 I can't take their constant bragging. 146 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,537 "Oh, we saved for our retirement. " 147 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,738 How bourgeois. 148 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:53,094 Goulet's in town? 149 00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:54,195 Yeah. 150 00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:57,432 Hey. Why don't you go with Janet? 151 00:06:57,433 --> 00:06:58,500 Me? 152 00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,283 Yeah. Joe can't go, 153 00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:00,868 and I have all this work I have to do, 154 00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,470 but it would really help everyone out 155 00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:03,471 if you would take her. 156 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:04,539 What do you say? 157 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,057 No posible, señorita. 158 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,425 Dad. 159 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,761 Come on. Please? 160 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,564 How can I say no to my little girl? 161 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,566 Ten bucks, plus expenses. 162 00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:21,540 Subway fare, $3. 163 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,276 Two knishes, $4. 164 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,079 Janet, how much was that program? 165 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,213 Oh, these are free. 166 00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:30,849 Uh-huh. 167 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,767 One commemorative program, 168 00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:35,470 $12.95. 169 00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:38,823 It was so nice of you to come with me, Arthur. 170 00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:39,824 My pleasure. 171 00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,493 Carry the one... 172 00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,263 It's a beautiful theater. 173 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,764 Last time I was here, 174 00:07:46,765 --> 00:07:48,866 I was a young socialist dreamer, 175 00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,602 taking in the opening night 176 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,103 of a Clifford Odets musical. 177 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,438 I believe it was called... 178 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:57,041 Johnny Wants a Living Wage. 179 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:57,992 But I don't want to bore you. 180 00:07:57,993 --> 00:07:59,744 Oh, it's not boring at all. 181 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,128 I love the theater. 182 00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:03,798 I can never get Joe to come, let alone talk about it, 183 00:08:03,799 --> 00:08:04,799 so... 184 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,368 please go on. 185 00:08:06,369 --> 00:08:07,502 Well, it was a marvelous play, 186 00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:08,636 almost Brechtian, 187 00:08:08,637 --> 00:08:11,406 with a sassy hint of old-time burlesque. 188 00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:14,775 Closed that night. 189 00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:16,360 My, how fascinating. 190 00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:17,812 You want fascinating? 191 00:08:17,813 --> 00:08:19,481 Have I ever told you about the night 192 00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,883 I pumped Helen Hayes' stomach? 193 00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:42,787 Oh, my goodness. 194 00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:46,674 Oh. Oh, that was a hoot. 195 00:08:46,675 --> 00:08:49,778 I haven't had so much fun in years. 196 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,780 Well, Arthur Spooner 197 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,314 does not disappoint. 198 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,682 Well, good night. 199 00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:57,351 And thank you again for a lovely evening. 200 00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,704 Thank you, milady. 201 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,639 Hello, Douglas. 202 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,508 Good night. 203 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,952 Hey, Ma. Oh, hey, honey. 204 00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:15,953 Off to work? 205 00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,289 Yeah. Is, uh, Dad up yet? 206 00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,324 Up? He's already at the convention center 207 00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:21,860 with his trains. 208 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,127 Oh. 209 00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:25,129 Just- I feel bad leaving you here by yourself. 210 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,197 You, uh... 211 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,099 wanna meet me for lunch later? Or- 212 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,017 Oh, just a reminder, Janet. 213 00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,186 Bring a light sweater. 214 00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:32,653 It's chilly on the lake. 215 00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:34,222 Okay. 216 00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:35,856 No, thanks, honey, I'll be fine. 217 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,806 Hey, honey. 218 00:10:58,807 --> 00:11:01,442 I'm reading an article, "Nine Ways to Please Your Man. " 219 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,544 Now, this might be the wine talking, 220 00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:05,613 but I am willing to do two of them. 221 00:11:07,549 --> 00:11:08,566 That's great. 222 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,867 Look, I know you've been busy 223 00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,502 with your bubble baths and whatnot. 224 00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:13,904 I just wanted to get you up to speed on a couple things. 225 00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,840 Uh, we're getting low on mayo, 226 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,443 I fixed that faucet thing. And, uh- 227 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,577 oh, yeah 228 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,313 - our parents are dating. 229 00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,331 No, they're not. 230 00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,566 They're just spending time together. 231 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,684 See, this is all your fault. 232 00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,353 What? Yeah. Uh- 233 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,405 'Cause you had to send your father with my mother 234 00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:31,439 to the theater. 235 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,707 W- why would you do that? 236 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,209 I mean, there's a reason we keep him 237 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,243 in the basement. 238 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,697 Doug, I was just trying to do something nice 239 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:40,931 for your mother. 240 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,782 Oh, really? 241 00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:42,850 Yeah, and you know what? 242 00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:44,735 We wouldn't be having this conversation 243 00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:46,271 if your father would've taken her. 244 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,106 But, no. Of course, he had a very serious 245 00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:52,009 choo-choo emergency. 246 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,144 Hey, when he wins that golden caboose, 247 00:11:54,145 --> 00:11:58,649 you're gonna be sucking on an ice-cold shut-up-sicle. 248 00:11:58,650 --> 00:11:59,484 Doug. 249 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,436 I know this is hard for you to handle, okay, 250 00:12:02,437 --> 00:12:04,806 but your parents are having problems. 251 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:05,623 They are not! 252 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,791 Yes, they are. 253 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,959 Your father has been neglecting your mother. 254 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,979 Hello! It's train week. 255 00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,131 All right, look- 256 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,249 Maybe they're going through a little bit of a- 257 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,051 A rough spot right now. But it doesn't help 258 00:12:17,052 --> 00:12:19,020 having your dad sniffing around my mom. 259 00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:20,755 And by the way, yesterday, 260 00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,323 I think I saw him doing that. 261 00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:26,127 So what do you want me to do? 262 00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:27,912 Talk to him. Tell him to back off. 263 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,347 All right, I will talk to my father. 264 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,749 But I really do think you need to talk to your mother. 265 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,551 Think I should talk to her? Know what you do? 266 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,019 Just get the monkey in the cage. Ugh. 267 00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:47,031 Hey, Dad. 268 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,699 Ah, just the man I wanted to see. 269 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,421 Here's the total expenses I've incurred for Janet. 270 00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,357 I think you'll find my rates are quite competitive. 271 00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,710 Uh, listen, Dad. I don't think you should 272 00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,279 take Janet out tonight. 273 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,080 Why? I've already billed you for it. 274 00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:04,515 Well, I- I just- 275 00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:06,617 I think Doug's parents are having some problems, 276 00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:09,253 and I don't want Janet to misinterpret your intentions. 277 00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:11,622 I assure you, my intentions 278 00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,724 are purely monetary. 279 00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,560 Oh, that's good to know. 280 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,428 Plus, she's not really my type. 281 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,697 Arthur Spooner likes 'em lean and mean, 282 00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:20,731 like a feral cat. 283 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,868 Okay, well, I'm glad you understand because, 284 00:13:24,869 --> 00:13:26,570 you know, you're a pretty charming guy. 285 00:13:26,571 --> 00:13:29,173 And with you in the picture, you know, anything could happen. 286 00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:30,658 Know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. 287 00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:32,009 Okay. 288 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,312 Although, now that you bring it up... 289 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,200 ...this last week has been such a crazy whirlwind... 290 00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:40,935 I really haven't had a chance 291 00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,770 to gauge my feelings for Janet. 292 00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:45,189 No, Dad, no feelings. Nothing to gauge. 293 00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:46,407 I mean... 294 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,410 Janet does have a smile that lights up the room. 295 00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:51,362 See, I disagree. Middle-of-the-road smile. 296 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,798 And you did say her marriage is on the rocks, 297 00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,734 so I'd just be speeding up the inevitable. 298 00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,804 Okay, Dad, look. I will give you $500 299 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,472 if you stay away from Doug's mother. 300 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,908 My love can't be bought! 301 00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,046 Oh, hi, Dougie. 302 00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,848 Hey, Ma. 303 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,850 Artie's taking me to the Velvet Lounge tonight. 304 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,619 Is this dressy enough? 305 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,454 I- Yeah, actually, you know what? I- 306 00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,522 I wanna talk to you about Arthur for a second. 307 00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:19,657 Oh, sure. What is it? 308 00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,677 I just wanna thank you, first of all, 309 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:25,580 for putting up with his craziness all week. 310 00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:28,917 Welcome to my world, you know what I'm saying? 311 00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:30,067 Oh, I don't mind. Mm-mm. 312 00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,636 I like Arthur. 313 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,654 Yeah, y-you know. 314 00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:33,922 You like him, but... 315 00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,156 in the way you like 316 00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:37,491 a sad, little three-legged dog, you know. Heh. 317 00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,429 Actually, it's more pity than like, am I right? 318 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,114 No, I really like him. 319 00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:46,217 Okay, fine. You like him. Yeah. 320 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,152 What's your point? 321 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,088 My point is, uh, you don't actually like him 322 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,789 like you like dad, right? 323 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,824 I mean... 324 00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:55,592 I'm so confused. 325 00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,530 Oh, God. 326 00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,950 I- it's just that it's been so long since... 327 00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:04,251 someone paid attention to me. 328 00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,053 Someone who- 329 00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:08,489 Who was excited to spend time with me. 330 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,957 Dad does that. 331 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,692 No, he doesn't. 332 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,394 All he cares about is his trains. 333 00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:15,680 Yeah. Yeah, he- Yeah, he likes his trains, 334 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,616 but you guys have so much other stuff. 335 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,734 Like what? 336 00:15:19,735 --> 00:15:21,469 Like- You got your Boggle. 337 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,106 Uh, Judging Amy. 338 00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:28,676 Your Judge Judy- All your judges. 339 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,412 Bottom line, you guys got a lot of stuff. 340 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:32,930 Look, Doug... 341 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:36,100 I know that I'm not a young girl anymore. 342 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,369 But I still have urges and desires 343 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,037 that need to be fulfilled. 344 00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:41,439 Mm-hm. 345 00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:47,545 And I'm not just talking about the physical act of sex. 346 00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,770 Which, by the way, your father- 347 00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:57,338 All right, Ma, that's it! 348 00:15:57,339 --> 00:15:59,573 No more desires or urges. 349 00:15:59,574 --> 00:16:01,142 And you are not to be fulfilled. 350 00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,945 Now go in there and bake something! 351 00:16:03,946 --> 00:16:06,047 I'm sorry, Douglas, 352 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,782 but I am going out with Arthur tonight. 353 00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:14,771 Did you talk to your dad? 354 00:16:14,772 --> 00:16:17,774 Um, yes, we talked. 355 00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:20,795 Douglas, I want you to know 356 00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:22,697 if things between your mother and I go the way 357 00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,465 I think they're heading, 358 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,834 I would never try to replace your father. 359 00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:30,554 But I do expect to be obeyed. 360 00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:32,956 What happened down there? 361 00:16:32,957 --> 00:16:33,957 I don't know. 362 00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,792 It got away from me pretty fast. 363 00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:37,995 Heh. 364 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,630 You listen up, old man. Um... 365 00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:41,165 if you try to take my mother out again, 366 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,434 you're gonna be in a world of pain. 367 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,636 Son, this belt doesn't just keep my pants up. 368 00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:57,381 Hey, Dad. 369 00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:59,016 Yeah, just a sec. 370 00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:02,953 Huh! Huh-huh? 371 00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:05,923 You think Dorfman's got this in his stupid alpine village? 372 00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:06,990 Uh-uh. 373 00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:08,693 Look. You know, th-that's great. 374 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,678 Do you know Mom went out with Arthur again tonight? 375 00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:13,297 Oh, good. Here, hand me that little Chinese couple, okay? 376 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:16,200 You want a shot at winning this, you gotta play the PC game. 377 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,753 Look, you know, I- I talked to Mom, 378 00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:20,855 and I gotta tell you, she's not completely happy. 379 00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,457 Aw, you know your mom. She's fine. 380 00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,591 Da- No, Dad, she's not. 381 00:17:24,592 --> 00:17:26,327 And you know where she went with Arthur? 382 00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,861 To the Velvet Lounge. 383 00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,213 Really? 384 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,349 That's where I used to take her when we started dating. Heh. 385 00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:35,786 Yeah. Y-you know, I-I-I- I think you should go to her. 386 00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:38,505 No, I can't. This is judging night. 387 00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:40,808 Uh, this is my year. I'm gonna get that golden caboose. 388 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,326 Dad, would you stop with the trains?! 389 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,844 What? Stop! Enough already! 390 00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,329 I mean, Mom was right. 391 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,448 All you care about are these damn trains. 392 00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:49,216 Our whole lives they came first. 393 00:17:49,217 --> 00:17:50,618 That's not true. It is true. 394 00:17:50,619 --> 00:17:52,353 When I was a kid you wouldn't let me touch 'em. 395 00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:54,187 You had your chance, and you blew it. 396 00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:56,590 I was 4. The freight car looked like a candy bar. 397 00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,859 Turn the page. Aw. 398 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,661 Come on, Dougie. Even when I got older, Dad, 399 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,979 you said I couldn't play with 'em 400 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,431 'cause I didn't have a license. 401 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,333 There were no licenses, were there? 402 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,488 Not at the time, no. It's... 403 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,056 Y- your mother's really unhappy? 404 00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:20,781 You're right. 405 00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:26,002 These trains, they hurt the people I love. 406 00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,355 I gotta go find your mother. 407 00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:30,390 Good. I, uh... 408 00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:33,260 I need you to do me a favor, son. 409 00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,561 What? 410 00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:41,101 Take the Boston Bullet into the station. 411 00:18:43,071 --> 00:18:44,455 Can do. 412 00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:24,178 Janet. I must say, you move with a silky elegance. 413 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,030 Thank you, Arthur. 414 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:29,933 You know... 415 00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,353 we can stay out as late as you want. 416 00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:36,274 I've adjusted my medications accordingly. 417 00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:40,878 Oh. 418 00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:45,649 Oh, it looks like someone 419 00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:49,353 could use another "martooni. " 420 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,256 Well, maybe just one more. 421 00:20:05,989 --> 00:20:06,988 Joe? 422 00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,733 Janet, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, 423 00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:38,736 but with my love and your alimony... 424 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,805 we can build a life together. 425 00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,273 Eh. 426 00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:47,495 All right. 427 00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:57,471 I'm gonna need a receipt for these. 428 00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:02,226 And it's back to the basement. 429 00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:17,541 I told you, my dad had to leave. 430 00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,276 They were his trains. 431 00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:21,579 But you said your father had these trains for 30 years. 432 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,080 You never used it once? 433 00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,365 He wouldn't let me. 434 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,916 It doesn't add up. 435 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,151 Doesn't add up. 436 00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:29,172 Am I released now? 437 00:21:29,197 --> 00:21:29,868 No. 30150

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