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1
00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:09,589
Son of a-
2
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Little help.
3
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Hey, sticky buns.
4
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,716
Aw, it's cute when you
give me little nicknames.
5
00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:45,187
Hm?
6
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Nothing.
7
00:01:46,722 --> 00:01:47,922
Aren't my parents here yet?
8
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No.
9
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Uh, they called from
the airport, though.
10
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:54,345
Your father's holding
out for a cheaper taxi.
11
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:56,898
I would've liked to see them
before my union meeting tonight.
12
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,767
Union meeting? Since when do
you go to union meetings?
13
00:01:59,768 --> 00:02:01,819
Since they started serving beer.
14
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,721
And we might be going
on strike or something.
15
00:02:03,722 --> 00:02:05,390
I don't know. What's
the big deal?
16
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,741
Well, Doug, I- I have
some work to do.
17
00:02:06,742 --> 00:02:08,426
I need you to entertain
your parents.
18
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,561
And I was kind of hoping to
19
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,763
try out my new
bubble bath as well.
20
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,665
"Lavender surrender. "
21
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,151
Make a good stripper name.
22
00:02:16,152 --> 00:02:17,502
All right, Doug.
23
00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:19,955
I'm just saying. I wouldn't have
to go to any union meetings
24
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,357
if you could work a couple
nights as Lavender Surrender.
25
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:23,959
All right, come on.
I really have stuff
26
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,277
I gotta do tonight.
27
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,728
Relax, all right,
I got it covered.
28
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,329
Tonight, I got two
theater tickets
29
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,464
for my parents.
30
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,033
So once they're
out of the house,
31
00:02:31,034 --> 00:02:33,268
you can take a bath, invite
your boyfriend over-
32
00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,970
The house is yours.
33
00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:36,705
I just hope they're
34
00:02:36,706 --> 00:02:38,406
getting along a little better.
35
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:39,474
What?
36
00:02:39,475 --> 00:02:41,092
You remember last
month in Florida,
37
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,328
they were going at each
other all the time.
38
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,996
No, they weren't.
39
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:45,931
Doug, come on.
40
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,732
Your father called
your mother an idiot
41
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:51,169
because she bought him
potato chips in a can.
42
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,738
The man likes his
chips in a bag.
43
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,540
Remember that time
I got mad at you
44
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:57,141
because you bought
me mini donuts
45
00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:59,744
instead of the regular size?
46
00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:02,280
Does that mean I don't love you?
47
00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,983
Well, you did say some
pretty hurtful things.
48
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,986
Well, I don't like mini donuts.
49
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,140
There they are. Okay.
50
00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:17,129
Hey!
51
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,963
Hello, honey!
52
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,198
How are you? Good to see ya.
53
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,933
Hi, Dougie. Hey, Dougie, quick.
54
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:24,352
Go grab the bags before
the cabby gets 'em.
55
00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:25,787
This guy is fishing for a tip.
56
00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:27,939
So how was your flight?
57
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,374
Oh, it was really nice.
58
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,193
Ah, you know, they recycle
the air on those planes,
59
00:03:32,194 --> 00:03:34,796
so it's mostly exhaled
carbon dioxide
60
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,465
and flecks of other
people's skin.
61
00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:39,784
Did not know that. Hm.
62
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,987
I brought you the
in-flight magazine.
63
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,389
Oh, thank you. There's
an article in there
64
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,124
on Arsenio Hall's
favorite steak house.
65
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,525
Turns out-
66
00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:50,178
Bup-bup-bup-bup. I
wanna be surprised.
67
00:03:50,179 --> 00:03:51,980
Still fighting bags
with wheels, huh, dad?
68
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,116
Hey, wheels break.
Then where are ya?
69
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,417
Right back to here.
70
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:58,286
So, Joe, you all ready
for your big convention?
71
00:03:58,287 --> 00:04:00,072
Oh, yes, I am.
72
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,708
Feast your eyes on
what's gonna bring home
73
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,810
the golden caboose
74
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,978
at the 43rd annual
75
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,647
Model Train Expo.
76
00:04:09,648 --> 00:04:11,432
Oh, that is pretty sweet.
77
00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,251
Hey, hey, hey. You
know the rules.
78
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,253
Oh, come on, Joe. Let
him touch the train.
79
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,622
It's not a train.
It's an engine.
80
00:04:17,623 --> 00:04:19,641
Oh, well, in that case, who cares?
I care!
81
00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:21,743
You know, for one week-
one week out of the year
82
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:23,645
- could I have that
to enjoy myself?
83
00:04:23,646 --> 00:04:24,446
Fine.
84
00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:25,564
Good.
85
00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:31,469
Speaking of enjoying
yourselves...
86
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,338
who's going to see Robert Goulet
87
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:36,041
in Camelot tonight?
88
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,075
Really? Oh?
89
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:39,144
Oh. That's my favorite show.
90
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,278
I know.
91
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,380
Aw, Joe, look.
92
00:04:42,381 --> 00:04:44,883
Whoa! Sixty-five bucks each.
93
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,620
I wonder how much of
this goes to Goulet.
94
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,988
All right, well, you
guys have a great time.
95
00:04:50,989 --> 00:04:52,607
I got a union thing
I gotta go to.
96
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:53,976
Aw, thank you, Dougie.
97
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,894
That was so generous of you.
98
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,245
Come on.
99
00:04:57,246 --> 00:04:58,179
You guys raised me.
100
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,281
You paid for me
to go to college.
101
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:02,250
Sorry that didn't work out.
102
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,446
Ooh. Look at you.
103
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,381
You look beautiful.
104
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,132
Oh, thank you, Carrie.
105
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,584
I am so looking
forward to tonight.
106
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,853
There's nothing more
exciting than a live show.
107
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,054
Yeah.
108
00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:24,188
Last live show Doug took me to,
109
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,291
it was two guys
fighting in a cage.
110
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,294
Oh, no.
111
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,396
You're not wearing that
train hat to the theater.
112
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,431
I can't go. What?
113
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,216
I got a call from the
convention center.
114
00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:37,185
They're assigning table
locations tonight,
115
00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,636
not in the morning. So?
116
00:05:38,637 --> 00:05:40,605
So if I don't get
down there ASAP,
117
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:44,609
I'll be way in the back with
all those monorail freaks.
118
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,478
But Dougie bought those tickets.
119
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,746
Hey.
120
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,198
The grand conductor makes
the assignments, not me.
121
00:05:50,199 --> 00:05:52,350
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
122
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,921
I'm sorry, Janet.
123
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:57,622
Don't be.
124
00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,173
Who needs him?
125
00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:01,008
Hey, maybe you'll come with me.
126
00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,310
We could do a girls' night out?
127
00:06:02,311 --> 00:06:04,396
Ah, I wish I could, but
I have all this work.
128
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,331
Oh, yeah, of course, your work.
129
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,500
Hey, you know what?
130
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,503
There's no law against a woman
going to the theater by herself.
131
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,271
I just, uh...
132
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,439
I'll do it, and- And- And
it'll be better, you know,
133
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,476
because I won't have to fight
with Joe for the armrest.
134
00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:19,711
Yeah. There you go.
135
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,913
So I'm just gonna go get my bag.
136
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,633
Hey, Dad.
137
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,369
You're home early.
138
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,703
Tough night at the
senior center.
139
00:06:28,704 --> 00:06:30,605
I had to flip the
checkerboard in a fit of rage
140
00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:32,040
earlier than usual.
141
00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:35,610
I take it the duke and duchess
142
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:37,229
of Fort Lauderdale have arrived.
143
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,696
Yes.
144
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,982
Why do you have such a
problem with Doug's parents?
145
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,868
I can't take their
constant bragging.
146
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,537
"Oh, we saved for
our retirement. "
147
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,738
How bourgeois.
148
00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:53,094
Goulet's in town?
149
00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:54,195
Yeah.
150
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:57,432
Hey. Why don't you
go with Janet?
151
00:06:57,433 --> 00:06:58,500
Me?
152
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,283
Yeah. Joe can't go,
153
00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:00,868
and I have all this
work I have to do,
154
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,470
but it would really
help everyone out
155
00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:03,471
if you would take her.
156
00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:04,539
What do you say?
157
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,057
No posible, señorita.
158
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:07,425
Dad.
159
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,761
Come on. Please?
160
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,564
How can I say no
to my little girl?
161
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,566
Ten bucks, plus expenses.
162
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:21,540
Subway fare, $3.
163
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,276
Two knishes, $4.
164
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:28,079
Janet, how much
was that program?
165
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,213
Oh, these are free.
166
00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:30,849
Uh-huh.
167
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,767
One commemorative program,
168
00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:35,470
$12.95.
169
00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:38,823
It was so nice of you to
come with me, Arthur.
170
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:39,824
My pleasure.
171
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,493
Carry the one...
172
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,263
It's a beautiful theater.
173
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,764
Last time I was here,
174
00:07:46,765 --> 00:07:48,866
I was a young socialist dreamer,
175
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,602
taking in the opening night
176
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,103
of a Clifford Odets musical.
177
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,438
I believe it was called...
178
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:57,041
Johnny Wants a Living Wage.
179
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:57,992
But I don't want to bore you.
180
00:07:57,993 --> 00:07:59,744
Oh, it's not boring at all.
181
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,128
I love the theater.
182
00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:03,798
I can never get Joe to come,
let alone talk about it,
183
00:08:03,799 --> 00:08:04,799
so...
184
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,368
please go on.
185
00:08:06,369 --> 00:08:07,502
Well, it was a marvelous play,
186
00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:08,636
almost Brechtian,
187
00:08:08,637 --> 00:08:11,406
with a sassy hint of
old-time burlesque.
188
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:14,775
Closed that night.
189
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:16,360
My, how fascinating.
190
00:08:16,361 --> 00:08:17,812
You want fascinating?
191
00:08:17,813 --> 00:08:19,481
Have I ever told you
about the night
192
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,883
I pumped Helen Hayes' stomach?
193
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:42,787
Oh, my goodness.
194
00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:46,674
Oh. Oh, that was a hoot.
195
00:08:46,675 --> 00:08:49,778
I haven't had so
much fun in years.
196
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,780
Well, Arthur Spooner
197
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,314
does not disappoint.
198
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,682
Well, good night.
199
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:57,351
And thank you again
for a lovely evening.
200
00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,704
Thank you, milady.
201
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,639
Hello, Douglas.
202
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,508
Good night.
203
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,952
Hey, Ma. Oh, hey, honey.
204
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:15,953
Off to work?
205
00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:18,289
Yeah. Is, uh, Dad up yet?
206
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:20,324
Up? He's already at
the convention center
207
00:09:20,325 --> 00:09:21,860
with his trains.
208
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,127
Oh.
209
00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:25,129
Just- I feel bad leaving
you here by yourself.
210
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,197
You, uh...
211
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,099
wanna meet me for lunch later?
Or-
212
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,017
Oh, just a reminder, Janet.
213
00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:31,186
Bring a light sweater.
214
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:32,653
It's chilly on the lake.
215
00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:34,222
Okay.
216
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:35,856
No, thanks, honey, I'll be fine.
217
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,806
Hey, honey.
218
00:10:58,807 --> 00:11:01,442
I'm reading an article, "Nine
Ways to Please Your Man. "
219
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,544
Now, this might be
the wine talking,
220
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:05,613
but I am willing
to do two of them.
221
00:11:07,549 --> 00:11:08,566
That's great.
222
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,867
Look, I know you've been busy
223
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,502
with your bubble
baths and whatnot.
224
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:13,904
I just wanted to get you up
to speed on a couple things.
225
00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,840
Uh, we're getting low on mayo,
226
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,443
I fixed that faucet thing.
And, uh-
227
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,577
oh, yeah
228
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,313
- our parents are dating.
229
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,331
No, they're not.
230
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,566
They're just spending
time together.
231
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:26,684
See, this is all your fault.
232
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,353
What? Yeah. Uh-
233
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,405
'Cause you had to send
your father with my mother
234
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:31,439
to the theater.
235
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,707
W- why would you do that?
236
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,209
I mean, there's a
reason we keep him
237
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:35,243
in the basement.
238
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,697
Doug, I was just trying
to do something nice
239
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:40,931
for your mother.
240
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,782
Oh, really?
241
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:42,850
Yeah, and you know what?
242
00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:44,735
We wouldn't be having
this conversation
243
00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:46,271
if your father
would've taken her.
244
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,106
But, no. Of course,
he had a very serious
245
00:11:49,107 --> 00:11:52,009
choo-choo emergency.
246
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,144
Hey, when he wins
that golden caboose,
247
00:11:54,145 --> 00:11:58,649
you're gonna be sucking on
an ice-cold shut-up-sicle.
248
00:11:58,650 --> 00:11:59,484
Doug.
249
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,436
I know this is hard for
you to handle, okay,
250
00:12:02,437 --> 00:12:04,806
but your parents are
having problems.
251
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:05,623
They are not!
252
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,791
Yes, they are.
253
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,959
Your father has been
neglecting your mother.
254
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,979
Hello! It's train week.
255
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,131
All right, look-
256
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,249
Maybe they're going through
a little bit of a-
257
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,051
A rough spot right now.
But it doesn't help
258
00:12:17,052 --> 00:12:19,020
having your dad
sniffing around my mom.
259
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:20,755
And by the way, yesterday,
260
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,323
I think I saw him doing that.
261
00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:26,127
So what do you want me to do?
262
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:27,912
Talk to him. Tell
him to back off.
263
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,347
All right, I will
talk to my father.
264
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,749
But I really do think you
need to talk to your mother.
265
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,551
Think I should talk to her?
Know what you do?
266
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:35,019
Just get the monkey in the cage.
Ugh.
267
00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:47,031
Hey, Dad.
268
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,699
Ah, just the man
I wanted to see.
269
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,421
Here's the total expenses
I've incurred for Janet.
270
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,357
I think you'll find my rates
are quite competitive.
271
00:12:58,060 --> 00:12:59,710
Uh, listen, Dad. I
don't think you should
272
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,279
take Janet out tonight.
273
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,080
Why? I've already
billed you for it.
274
00:13:03,081 --> 00:13:04,515
Well, I- I just-
275
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:06,617
I think Doug's parents are
having some problems,
276
00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:09,253
and I don't want Janet to
misinterpret your intentions.
277
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:11,622
I assure you, my intentions
278
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:13,724
are purely monetary.
279
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,560
Oh, that's good to know.
280
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,428
Plus, she's not really my type.
281
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,697
Arthur Spooner likes
'em lean and mean,
282
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:20,731
like a feral cat.
283
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,868
Okay, well, I'm glad you
understand because,
284
00:13:24,869 --> 00:13:26,570
you know, you're a
pretty charming guy.
285
00:13:26,571 --> 00:13:29,173
And with you in the picture, you
know, anything could happen.
286
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:30,658
Know what I'm saying? Yes, I do.
287
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:32,009
Okay.
288
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,312
Although, now that
you bring it up...
289
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,200
...this last week has been
such a crazy whirlwind...
290
00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:40,935
I really haven't had a chance
291
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,770
to gauge my feelings for Janet.
292
00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:45,189
No, Dad, no feelings.
Nothing to gauge.
293
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:46,407
I mean...
294
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,410
Janet does have a smile
that lights up the room.
295
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:51,362
See, I disagree.
Middle-of-the-road smile.
296
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,798
And you did say her
marriage is on the rocks,
297
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,734
so I'd just be speeding
up the inevitable.
298
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,804
Okay, Dad, look. I
will give you $500
299
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,472
if you stay away
from Doug's mother.
300
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,908
My love can't be bought!
301
00:14:07,062 --> 00:14:09,046
Oh, hi, Dougie.
302
00:14:09,047 --> 00:14:10,848
Hey, Ma.
303
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,850
Artie's taking me to the
Velvet Lounge tonight.
304
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,619
Is this dressy enough?
305
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,454
I- Yeah, actually, you know what?
I-
306
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,522
I wanna talk to you about
Arthur for a second.
307
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:19,657
Oh, sure. What is it?
308
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,677
I just wanna thank
you, first of all,
309
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:25,580
for putting up with his
craziness all week.
310
00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:28,917
Welcome to my world, you
know what I'm saying?
311
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:30,067
Oh, I don't mind. Mm-mm.
312
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,636
I like Arthur.
313
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,654
Yeah, y-you know.
314
00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:33,922
You like him, but...
315
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:35,156
in the way you like
316
00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:37,491
a sad, little three-legged
dog, you know. Heh.
317
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:41,429
Actually, it's more pity
than like, am I right?
318
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,114
No, I really like him.
319
00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:46,217
Okay, fine. You like him. Yeah.
320
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,152
What's your point?
321
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,088
My point is, uh, you
don't actually like him
322
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,789
like you like dad, right?
323
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,824
I mean...
324
00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:55,592
I'm so confused.
325
00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,530
Oh, God.
326
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,950
I- it's just that it's
been so long since...
327
00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:04,251
someone paid attention to me.
328
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,053
Someone who-
329
00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:08,489
Who was excited to
spend time with me.
330
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,957
Dad does that.
331
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,692
No, he doesn't.
332
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,394
All he cares about
is his trains.
333
00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:15,680
Yeah. Yeah, he- Yeah,
he likes his trains,
334
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,616
but you guys have so
much other stuff.
335
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,734
Like what?
336
00:15:19,735 --> 00:15:21,469
Like- You got your Boggle.
337
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,106
Uh, Judging Amy.
338
00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:28,676
Your Judge Judy-
All your judges.
339
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,412
Bottom line, you guys
got a lot of stuff.
340
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:32,930
Look, Doug...
341
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:36,100
I know that I'm not a
young girl anymore.
342
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,369
But I still have
urges and desires
343
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,037
that need to be fulfilled.
344
00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:41,439
Mm-hm.
345
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:47,545
And I'm not just talking about
the physical act of sex.
346
00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:55,770
Which, by the way, your father-
347
00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:57,338
All right, Ma, that's it!
348
00:15:57,339 --> 00:15:59,573
No more desires or urges.
349
00:15:59,574 --> 00:16:01,142
And you are not to be fulfilled.
350
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,945
Now go in there and
bake something!
351
00:16:03,946 --> 00:16:06,047
I'm sorry, Douglas,
352
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,782
but I am going out
with Arthur tonight.
353
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:14,771
Did you talk to your dad?
354
00:16:14,772 --> 00:16:17,774
Um, yes, we talked.
355
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:20,795
Douglas, I want you to know
356
00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:22,697
if things between your
mother and I go the way
357
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:24,465
I think they're heading,
358
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,834
I would never try to
replace your father.
359
00:16:28,069 --> 00:16:30,554
But I do expect to be obeyed.
360
00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:32,956
What happened down there?
361
00:16:32,957 --> 00:16:33,957
I don't know.
362
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,792
It got away from me pretty fast.
363
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:37,995
Heh.
364
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,630
You listen up, old man. Um...
365
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:41,165
if you try to take
my mother out again,
366
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,434
you're gonna be in
a world of pain.
367
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:45,636
Son, this belt doesn't
just keep my pants up.
368
00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:57,381
Hey, Dad.
369
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:59,016
Yeah, just a sec.
370
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:02,953
Huh! Huh-huh?
371
00:17:02,954 --> 00:17:05,923
You think Dorfman's got this
in his stupid alpine village?
372
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:06,990
Uh-uh.
373
00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:08,693
Look. You know, th-that's great.
374
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,678
Do you know Mom went out
with Arthur again tonight?
375
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:13,297
Oh, good. Here, hand me that
little Chinese couple, okay?
376
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:16,200
You want a shot at winning this,
you gotta play the PC game.
377
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,753
Look, you know, I-
I talked to Mom,
378
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:20,855
and I gotta tell you, she's
not completely happy.
379
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,457
Aw, you know your mom.
She's fine.
380
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,591
Da- No, Dad, she's not.
381
00:17:24,592 --> 00:17:26,327
And you know where she
went with Arthur?
382
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,861
To the Velvet Lounge.
383
00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,213
Really?
384
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:32,349
That's where I used to take her
when we started dating. Heh.
385
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:35,786
Yeah. Y-you know, I-I-I- I
think you should go to her.
386
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:38,505
No, I can't. This
is judging night.
387
00:17:38,506 --> 00:17:40,808
Uh, this is my year. I'm gonna
get that golden caboose.
388
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,326
Dad, would you stop
with the trains?!
389
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,844
What? Stop! Enough already!
390
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,329
I mean, Mom was right.
391
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,448
All you care about are
these damn trains.
392
00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:49,216
Our whole lives they came first.
393
00:17:49,217 --> 00:17:50,618
That's not true. It is true.
394
00:17:50,619 --> 00:17:52,353
When I was a kid you
wouldn't let me touch 'em.
395
00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:54,187
You had your chance,
and you blew it.
396
00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:56,590
I was 4. The freight car
looked like a candy bar.
397
00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,859
Turn the page. Aw.
398
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,661
Come on, Dougie. Even
when I got older, Dad,
399
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,979
you said I couldn't
play with 'em
400
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,431
'cause I didn't have a license.
401
00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,333
There were no
licenses, were there?
402
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,488
Not at the time, no. It's...
403
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,056
Y- your mother's really unhappy?
404
00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:20,781
You're right.
405
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:26,002
These trains, they hurt
the people I love.
406
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,355
I gotta go find your mother.
407
00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:30,390
Good. I, uh...
408
00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:33,260
I need you to do
me a favor, son.
409
00:18:33,261 --> 00:18:34,561
What?
410
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:41,101
Take the Boston Bullet
into the station.
411
00:18:43,071 --> 00:18:44,455
Can do.
412
00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:24,178
Janet. I must say, you move
with a silky elegance.
413
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,030
Thank you, Arthur.
414
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:29,933
You know...
415
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,353
we can stay out as
late as you want.
416
00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:36,274
I've adjusted my
medications accordingly.
417
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:40,878
Oh.
418
00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:45,649
Oh, it looks like someone
419
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:49,353
could use another "martooni. "
420
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,256
Well, maybe just one more.
421
00:20:05,989 --> 00:20:06,988
Joe?
422
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,733
Janet, I'm not saying
it's gonna be easy,
423
00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:38,736
but with my love and
your alimony...
424
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,805
we can build a life together.
425
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,273
Eh.
426
00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:47,495
All right.
427
00:20:55,486 --> 00:20:57,471
I'm gonna need a
receipt for these.
428
00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:02,226
And it's back to the basement.
429
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:17,541
I told you, my dad had to leave.
430
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,276
They were his trains.
431
00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:21,579
But you said your father had
these trains for 30 years.
432
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,080
You never used it once?
433
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,365
He wouldn't let me.
434
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,916
It doesn't add up.
435
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:28,151
Doesn't add up.
436
00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:29,172
Am I released now?
437
00:21:29,197 --> 00:21:29,868
No.
30150
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