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1
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:52,901
All righty.
2
00:00:52,902 --> 00:00:56,672
I'm thinking something cocoa.
3
00:01:00,276 --> 00:01:01,409
Oh, no.
4
00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,579
Oh, for the love of Pete.
5
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,518
Don't panic. Don't panic. All right.
What else we got here?
6
00:01:09,519 --> 00:01:12,854
Fiber, fiber, fiber. Bran, bran.
7
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,623
Thank you, Arthur.
8
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,227
Okay. Keys.
9
00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:20,746
Purse.
10
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,780
Sunglasses. Okay, bye, honey.
11
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:23,781
Sweetie, uh...
12
00:01:23,782 --> 00:01:25,734
trying to keep it together here,
13
00:01:25,735 --> 00:01:27,552
and know that I'm
not mad at you.
14
00:01:27,553 --> 00:01:30,238
I'm mad at the situation.
15
00:01:30,239 --> 00:01:33,292
We're out of Cocoa Puffs.
16
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,178
So? There's a whole cabinet
full of cereal there, hon.
17
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,464
Thank you, but I'm plenty regular.
Um...
18
00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,951
See, you told me if
I wanted something
19
00:01:42,952 --> 00:01:45,304
to put it on the shopping
list, which I did.
20
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:49,475
If you can look here, see?
Cocoa Puffs, four boxes.
21
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,743
I'm doing my part.
22
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:52,995
I'm just not understanding
23
00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:55,981
where we're going
off the tracks.
24
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,382
Let me tell you something, Doug.
25
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,451
I had a total of
four hours sleep,
26
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,353
and that's because I
spent the other 20 hours
27
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,088
working on three
different projects.
28
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,057
And it's all stuff that
I haven't done before,
29
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,593
so if I hear the words "cocoa"
or "puff" one more time,
30
00:02:08,594 --> 00:02:11,363
you will be eating my
fist for breakfast.
31
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,284
I'm just saying the
list was your idea.
32
00:02:20,757 --> 00:02:22,107
All right, gang,
it's story time,
33
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:26,077
so cell phones
off, Heffernan on.
34
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:28,146
All right, you know that
guy I'm delivering to,
35
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,816
the guy who's becoming a woman?
36
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,834
Well, the beard is still there,
37
00:02:32,835 --> 00:02:36,939
but as of yesterday,
the boobs are in.
38
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:38,690
Big ones?
39
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:40,526
No. He went small and perky.
40
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,412
Damn. If you're gonna do it,
how do you not go huge?
41
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,614
Exactly. I mean, I'm a B
cup, and I've done nothing.
42
00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:48,333
That's not even the
funniest part.
43
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,885
Funny part is while
he's signing,
44
00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:51,153
he's squeezing 'em together,
45
00:02:51,154 --> 00:02:53,438
and leaning in, and I'm
giving him nothing, you know?
46
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:56,541
Hey, guys, I want to introduce
you to, uh, Tim Murphy.
47
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,127
Hey. What's up, man?
48
00:02:58,128 --> 00:03:01,380
Guy, what are you doing? I'm
in the middle of my story.
49
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,048
I'm just introducing
my new trainee.
50
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,033
You're training somebody?
51
00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:07,402
What's your first
lesson gonna be,
52
00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:10,806
how to drive a 14-foot truck
under a 13-foot underpass?
53
00:03:11,874 --> 00:03:14,593
All right. The sign was
covered with ivy, all right?
54
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,594
It was, like, a year ago.
55
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,029
When are you gonna let that go?
56
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,365
Probably when somebody does
something stupider, so never.
57
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,284
Hey, but at least he got
to drive back to the depot
58
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:26,405
in a convertible. You
know what I'm sayin'?
59
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:40,669
Hi. I'm Michelle.
60
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,671
They sent me from upstairs.
61
00:03:42,672 --> 00:03:44,906
I just told Patty that the
specs aren't ready yet.
62
00:03:44,907 --> 00:03:46,925
Oh, no.
63
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,260
I'm your assistant.
64
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:49,127
My what?
65
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:50,596
Your assistant?
66
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,831
No, I don't...
have an assistant.
67
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,332
I am an assistant.
68
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,653
Miss Boone said you could
use some extra help.
69
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:01,039
Okay. Is this a practical joke?
70
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,908
Did Debbie put you up
to this because I said
71
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,327
her ankle boots made
her look slutty?
72
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,530
No. Here's the assignment memo.
73
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:13,735
Mm. So you're really
my assistant?
74
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:17,089
Yes. So what can I do for you?
75
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,573
Um, okay, hold on.
I'm new at this.
76
00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:19,808
I'll find something. Um...
77
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:21,677
Looks like you could
use some more coffee.
78
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,578
Yes. Yes, I should've
thought of that.
79
00:04:23,579 --> 00:04:24,612
Yeah. Cream and sugar.
80
00:04:24,613 --> 00:04:25,697
Okay. Okay.
81
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,332
And make it snappy.
82
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,218
I'm kidding. I was
just doing a thing.
83
00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:30,385
Oh yeah. Nah.
84
00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:31,570
Okay, so I'm looking at him,
85
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,572
and I never thought I'd
say this to another man,
86
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:37,226
but I was like, "dude, you
gotta put on a bra. "
87
00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,127
You know, either that
or go up a button,
88
00:04:39,128 --> 00:04:40,529
'cause it's so annoying.
89
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,231
Speaking of annoying,
we had that guy,
90
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:43,765
sounded like Gilbert Gottfried:
91
00:04:43,766 --> 00:04:46,368
You want me to sign this? Okay.
92
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,503
Should I have a lawyer present?
93
00:04:48,504 --> 00:04:51,790
The thing is, I don't
trust you people.
94
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,108
That's the deal.
95
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,678
That was a good impression.
96
00:04:56,679 --> 00:04:58,997
Yeah, that was a real treat.
All right, anyway, uh...
97
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,300
So the guy's staring at me-
98
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,267
Who else do you do?
99
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,419
Can you do Eartha Kitt?
100
00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,054
You guys like Adam Sandler?
101
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,056
All right. Here's some
Adam Sandler for you:
102
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,659
Hey, uh, you guys are
very nice people.
103
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:12,811
I've had a great time,
uh, on my first day.
104
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,596
I just don't know what I.P.S.
stands for.
105
00:05:14,597 --> 00:05:15,730
I think it stands for
106
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:18,099
Immature People Sitting
around doing nothing.
107
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,568
Hee-hee-hee, hoo-hoo-hoo.
108
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,520
That is dead on, man.
109
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:25,490
Oh, thanks, buddy. You're too kind.
Danke.
110
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,428
What's that? Lunch Thursday?
I don't know.
111
00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:33,732
I'm gonna have to check with my assistant.
Tell you what,
112
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,701
why don't you have your
assistant call my assistant?
113
00:05:36,702 --> 00:05:38,970
What's that? You don't
have an assistant?
114
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,722
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
115
00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:42,174
Hey, honey.
116
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,909
Remember last week, I
made that delivery
117
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,345
and that little dog bit my ankle?
Doug,
118
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,664
you are not gonna believe what
happened to me at work today.
119
00:05:48,665 --> 00:05:50,616
They gave me an assistant.
120
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,600
That's great. Nobody
deserves it more than you.
121
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:57,956
Now... what's a funnier
animal than a dog?
122
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,658
What are you talking about?
123
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:01,510
I need a great story to
tell the guys tomorrow,
124
00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:03,996
so I need a funnier animal.
125
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,881
I don't know. Just
name an animal.
126
00:06:05,882 --> 00:06:07,633
All right. An eagle.
127
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,184
Okay. Uh...
128
00:06:10,185 --> 00:06:13,338
you wanna explain to me how an
eagle's gonna bite my ankle?
129
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,175
You know what, Doug? I
don't have time for this.
130
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,178
Why don't you call my assistant
131
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,646
and set up a meeting.
132
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,816
I got it. Would it be
okay if I told that story
133
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,935
about when you got the
ultrasound of your ovary?
134
00:06:26,936 --> 00:06:29,655
No, you cannot tell that story.
What are you, an idiot?
135
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,190
Come on. It looked like Shrek.
136
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,948
Okay. I delivered the
TRDs to the third floor,
137
00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:41,550
picked up the lease
applications,
138
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:44,286
and here's your fruit
salad, no grapes.
139
00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,488
Wow. That was a
productive 10 minutes.
140
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,924
So what should I do now?
141
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:51,577
Damn it. All right, here's
something you can do.
142
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,844
Get me a pair of work boots
143
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,681
so I can kick the crap
out of this computer.
144
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:56,748
Anything I can help with?
145
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,884
Oh, no. These are
budget breakdowns.
146
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,852
They're pretty complicated.
147
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:04,589
I've done those before.
Let me take a look.
148
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,158
Okay.
149
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,660
You know, you should
do it in two columns.
150
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,095
It's much faster.
151
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,530
Oh. Like that?
152
00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:19,137
No. It's actually
more like this.
153
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,773
Okay. Then you just cut and
paste, and hit control-k,
154
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,342
which brings you to
the bottom line,
155
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,078
which gives you your total.
156
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,312
Huh.
157
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,381
And then you just drag
and drop the tax rates
158
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,548
and you're finished. Oh.
159
00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:32,017
You want me to do another one?
160
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:36,004
Yeah. Why don't you just go
ahead and try a few more there.
161
00:07:36,005 --> 00:07:38,673
All right. I'm glad
you're all gathered,
162
00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:41,142
'cause you're about to
hear the tale of a driver,
163
00:07:41,143 --> 00:07:42,811
a swollen ankle,
164
00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:45,814
and get this, an iguana.
165
00:07:45,815 --> 00:07:47,849
Hey, Doug, you mind?
166
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,551
Uh, show's about to start.
167
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,486
What show?
168
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:54,055
Hoo-ah.
169
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,657
I hope you boys are ready
170
00:07:55,658 --> 00:07:58,960
for retired Colonel Frank Slade,
171
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,413
reporting for duty. Hoo-ah.
172
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,682
Hey, that's, uh, that's pretty funny.
How old is that movie?
173
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:06,351
Was it, like, early
'80s or something?
174
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,936
You're overthinking, Heffernan.
175
00:08:07,937 --> 00:08:09,705
Just enjoy it.
176
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,506
Hey, guys, guys. Watch this.
177
00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:16,611
All right. Christopher Walken as an I.P.S.
driver. Go.
178
00:08:16,612 --> 00:08:17,745
All right.
179
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:19,631
Listen...
180
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,968
the address on your
package is smudged.
181
00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:28,239
Is that a two or a seven?
I don't know.
182
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,977
It's a quandary that's perplexing me.
Come on.
183
00:08:33,396 --> 00:08:35,731
Finally some real
laughs around here.
184
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,866
Danny, can I-
185
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:41,153
Ah. What can I do you for?
186
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,737
You know lunchtime is my time.
187
00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:44,323
Why are you pushing the new guy?
188
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,623
You wanna know why?
189
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:47,292
Because the sign
190
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:51,163
was covered with ivy.
191
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,333
So that's what this is about?
192
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,002
Yeah, it is. Yeah. See, Tim
doesn't take shots at me.
193
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,170
There are no victims
in his comedy.
194
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,806
It just makes you feel good.
195
00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:13,769
Hey, did I ever tell you
Carrie's ovary looks like Shrek?
196
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:17,889
That's your wife, man.
197
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,993
Why would you tell me
something like that?
198
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,678
'Cause it's funny.
199
00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:39,327
Hey, Carrie, we're heading
out for happy hour.
200
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,679
You wanna come? Oh, thanks.
201
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,882
I'm pretty swamped here.
202
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,686
Oh, too bad. It's dollar
shooters at Tooty McGee's.
203
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:48,937
Maybe next time.
204
00:09:48,938 --> 00:09:49,854
Okay.
205
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,889
Carrie, I could finish
these if you wanna go.
206
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:55,060
Oh, I couldn't ask
you to do that.
207
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,813
Could I?
208
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,147
I'd be happy to.
209
00:09:59,148 --> 00:10:02,384
Really? Okay, thanks.
Hold up, Lisa.
210
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:08,340
Hey, baby.
211
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,142
I got taquitos for dinner.
Is that okay?
212
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:17,014
Taquitos give me gas...
213
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:22,203
So you gotta ask
yourself one question.
214
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,975
Do you feel lucky, punk?
215
00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:31,012
Why are you calling me "punk"?
216
00:10:31,013 --> 00:10:34,483
I'm doing an impression
of somebody.
217
00:10:34,484 --> 00:10:37,853
Who? My dad?
218
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,405
No.
219
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:44,476
My friends call me Clint.
220
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:48,963
Eastwood.
221
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:51,666
Clint Eastwood. How
do you not get that?
222
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:55,703
I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.
I had five shooters.
223
00:10:55,704 --> 00:10:57,405
Excuse me, ma'am.
224
00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,073
I'm sorry to bother you there,
225
00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:01,593
but, uh, you said
226
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,277
you had, uh, five shooters,
227
00:11:03,278 --> 00:11:05,313
and there were six shooters
at the crime scene.
228
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:08,016
That's all I'm saying.
229
00:11:08,017 --> 00:11:10,469
Why are you talking like that?
230
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:14,306
You mean, why am I talking
exactly like Columbo?
231
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,725
What are you doing?
I don't know.
232
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:19,110
Why don't you ask Dee
from What's Happening?
233
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:23,915
Ooh, you in trouble, Raj.
234
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,785
I'm tellin' mama.
235
00:11:30,873 --> 00:11:33,325
Now you're just creeping me out.
236
00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:37,996
The thing is, Danny's
new trainee.
237
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,948
He does all these impressions,
and the guys love it.
238
00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:44,302
I don't know. It's just that
I'm the funny guy at work.
239
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,043
Really?
240
00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:47,201
Yes.
241
00:11:47,639 --> 00:11:49,107
Forget it, all right?
242
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,842
I'm sorry I brought it up.
243
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:54,195
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
244
00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:56,497
No, I mean, you are funny.
245
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,733
That's one of the reasons why
I fell in love with you,
246
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:00,901
because you always
make me laugh.
247
00:12:00,902 --> 00:12:03,104
But not by doing
lame impressions.
248
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:05,891
Just by being yourself.
249
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,912
Maybe- Maybe you're right.
250
00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:13,148
So, Warren,
251
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,715
how was your day?
252
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:20,087
Well, today I delivered
to a lumber yard.
253
00:12:20,088 --> 00:12:21,222
Whoa.
254
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:28,313
That- That sounds pretty cool.
255
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,781
Yeah.
256
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:33,385
It was like going to
a family reunion.
257
00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:41,509
Get it? Because
I'm made of wood.
258
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,378
Wood lumber yard.
259
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:55,373
What else is in the news?
260
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:58,025
This is physically painful.
261
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:09,471
Okay. Here are the
budget breakdowns.
262
00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:11,238
Ah. Great job.
263
00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:13,391
That's what I'm here for.
264
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:14,975
Yeah?
265
00:13:14,976 --> 00:13:17,178
Here are the budget breakdowns.
266
00:13:17,179 --> 00:13:18,480
Great job.
267
00:13:18,481 --> 00:13:20,398
That's what I'm here for.
268
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,684
You know, Carrie, you've
always been a good assistant,
269
00:13:22,685 --> 00:13:26,321
but lately, the quality of your
work has really skyrocketed.
270
00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:28,690
It's like all of a
sudden, you get it.
271
00:13:28,691 --> 00:13:30,475
Yeah. I feel like I get it.
272
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,581
Hey, Deac, tomorrow
at lunchtime,
273
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,733
round up the guys, 'cause
the Amazing Flame-o
274
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:42,120
is gonna be spittin' fire.
275
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:42,921
Doug- No, it's easy.
276
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,622
I just coat my mouth
with lighter fluid,
277
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,790
then it's like:
278
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,845
That's entertainment.
279
00:13:50,846 --> 00:13:52,631
All right, brother. Sit down.
280
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,215
Why? Well, we need to talk.
281
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:55,750
Now, what's up with you, man?
282
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,488
Just the new driver, Tim.
283
00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:03,574
I mean, everyone knows I'm
the funny guy around here,
284
00:14:03,575 --> 00:14:05,493
but then he comes in
with his impressions,
285
00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:07,428
and he just steals my thunder.
286
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,481
It's messed up. You
know what I'm saying?
287
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:13,568
You know, I- I'm pretty funny.
288
00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:14,736
What?
289
00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,304
Well, you said you
were the funny guy,
290
00:14:16,305 --> 00:14:18,623
but, you know, I get some
laughs around here, too.
291
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:20,992
Maybe nervous ones. You're
like seven feet tall.
292
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:23,828
At least I didn't go out
and buy myself a puppet.
293
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,948
I didn't buy it. It's
a rental, Lurch.
294
00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,918
Hey, my boy Tim just radioed in.
295
00:14:30,919 --> 00:14:33,521
He's on a record pace for Zone 6.
Yeah?
296
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:35,724
Fast and funny. Ha ha.
297
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:38,143
And you might want to be
here when he gets back.
298
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:42,263
He's gonna do a medley of
every Baldwin brother.
299
00:14:42,264 --> 00:14:44,532
Cool.
300
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:56,361
Zone 6, Zone 6, come in, Zone 6.
301
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,663
Dispatch for Zone 6.
302
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,565
Yeah. Go, dispatch.
303
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,868
Yeah. Murphy, got a couple
late night pick-ups for you.
304
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,671
Uh, first I'm gonna need
you to go into Manhattan,
305
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:10,408
Uh, 125 MacDougal Street.
306
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:14,679
Then you gotta come back out
on the Triborough Bridge,
307
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,315
and head on over to LaGuardia.
308
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,468
Okay. What terminal?
309
00:15:20,469 --> 00:15:21,635
Air...
310
00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:24,723
Jordan.
311
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,525
Uh, dispatch, that routing
sounds a little off.
312
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,144
Oh, that routing sounds a little off?
Does it sound a little off?
313
00:15:30,145 --> 00:15:31,913
Let me tell you something
there, Murphy.
314
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:36,584
You've been working here a day.
I've been here for 27 years.
315
00:15:36,585 --> 00:15:38,419
Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry.
316
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:42,457
That's all right, kid.
I know you're nervous.
317
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:47,529
Now, how familiar are
you with New Jersey?
318
00:15:53,302 --> 00:15:57,002
So, Danny, where's
your, uh, trainee?
319
00:15:57,027 --> 00:15:58,735
He'll be here. Really?
320
00:15:58,988 --> 00:16:03,241
Well, it looks like Rich
Little is Rich Little late.
321
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,848
It looks like his
next impression
322
00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:08,817
is gonna be of a guy looking
for a new job, right?
323
00:16:08,818 --> 00:16:10,885
Yi-e-yi.
324
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:14,606
Would you like paper or plastic?
Yi-e-yi.
325
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:20,946
Hey, I ever tell
you guys the story
326
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:24,149
of a hot cup of coffee,
a giant pothole,
327
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,835
and a scar down south?
328
00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:32,541
Hey, guys, a call just came
in about Tim. He's, uh-
329
00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:33,541
He's what? He's lost,
330
00:16:33,542 --> 00:16:36,127
and he's calling his
mommy to pick him up?
331
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,381
Nah. He's in the hospital.
332
00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:41,016
Huh? What happened?
333
00:16:41,017 --> 00:16:42,801
He was somewhere in Jersey,
and he got jumped.
334
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,034
Why the hell was he in Jersey?
335
00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:45,587
I don't know, but some guys
336
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,089
pulled him out of his truck
and beat him pretty severely.
337
00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:54,980
Hey, Carrie.
338
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,482
Oh, morning, Miss Boone. Um-
339
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,617
I've got a project I'd like
you to take a shot at.
340
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,453
It's normally
something I'd handle,
341
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,356
but you've proven you're
up to the challenge.
342
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,457
What do you say?
343
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,775
Uh, well...
344
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:11,079
Bring it on.
345
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,364
Great. Okay.
346
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:16,251
Sorry I'm late, Carrie,
347
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,618
but I-I-I just found out
348
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,472
my boyfriend's been
transferred to Denver.
349
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,957
Oh, you poor thing.
350
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:26,261
Would getting right to work
take your mind off of it?
351
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:29,064
No. I- I'm going with him.
352
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:31,632
We're planning on
getting married,
353
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,334
so I'm sorry,
354
00:17:33,335 --> 00:17:36,821
but Friday's gonna have
to be my last day.
355
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,873
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
356
00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:41,076
Back it up.
357
00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:42,576
Why? What's wrong?
358
00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:45,497
Do you even know this guy? I
mean, where'd you guys meet?
359
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,616
In ninth grade.
360
00:17:47,617 --> 00:17:49,918
Ninth grade? Now, what is this,
361
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:53,321
an arranged marriage
by the village elders?
362
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,790
You gotta play the field
a little bit, you know?
363
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:58,126
I don't wanna play the field.
364
00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:00,929
You know, um, I didn't want
to have to tell you this,
365
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:03,564
but remember when you
brought him here?
366
00:18:03,565 --> 00:18:05,934
He hit on me.
367
00:18:05,935 --> 00:18:07,368
What?
368
00:18:07,369 --> 00:18:09,821
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
369
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,641
I just- I just don't
want you to get hurt.
370
00:18:12,642 --> 00:18:13,975
You know what doesn't hurt?
371
00:18:13,976 --> 00:18:16,444
A hard day's work.
372
00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:19,981
You know, Carrie, I've got a
lot of sick days saved up,
373
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:24,202
so I think I'll use them and
make today my last day.
374
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,920
Okay. I'm gonna level
with you, all right?
375
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:29,557
Um, I've been given an
incredible opportunity
376
00:18:29,558 --> 00:18:31,910
based on your talent
and hard work.
377
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,662
So how about this?
378
00:18:33,663 --> 00:18:37,314
Stay, and I'll give
you the big desk.
379
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:38,650
Huh?
380
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,184
Bye, Carrie.
381
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,503
Okay, fine, go.
382
00:18:41,504 --> 00:18:44,688
I think I can handle my
work on my own, thank you.
383
00:18:50,245 --> 00:18:52,947
No idea what I'm
looking at here.
384
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,405
That's it. They pull
me out of my truck,
385
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,390
I turn into Sam Kinison.
I'm sittin' there goin':
386
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,794
You know, I don't think there's
anywhere on this route
387
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:08,196
where I was supposed to
pick up a beating. Oh.
388
00:19:08,197 --> 00:19:09,363
Ohh.
389
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,233
You jerks.
390
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,119
Oh, man. Half dead
391
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,070
and he's still slaying us.
392
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,939
We love you, man.
393
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,825
What were you doing
in Jersey, anyway?
394
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,893
Dispatch sent me.
395
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,379
But I guess some guy was
playing a joke on me, so...
396
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,013
Some joke. What a jerk.
397
00:19:26,014 --> 00:19:28,583
Can you believe that?
398
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,456
Listen, we're gonna let
you get some rest.
399
00:19:35,457 --> 00:19:37,024
All right. You're
an inspiration.
400
00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:38,025
Thanks for coming.
401
00:19:38,026 --> 00:19:39,978
Feel better, brother. Thank you.
402
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,113
Take care. Thank you so much.
403
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,114
All right, I'll talk to him.
404
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:47,351
You're still going to
hell, but give it a shot.
405
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,238
Hey, man, what have you-
406
00:19:50,239 --> 00:19:52,073
You got there, a sprain?
407
00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:54,842
No. It's a shattered elbow and
my ligaments are all torn up.
408
00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,411
But, uh, they're gonna give me
a year of physical therapy,
409
00:19:57,412 --> 00:19:59,413
and I'll get back to about
60 percent mobility.
410
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:00,582
Sixty?
411
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:01,583
That's great.
412
00:20:01,584 --> 00:20:04,552
Hey, when you hit 70, sell.
413
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:07,188
Um...
414
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:11,092
Look, Tim, this is
all because of me.
415
00:20:12,327 --> 00:20:13,928
What do you mean?
416
00:20:13,929 --> 00:20:17,182
It was me on the radio. I- I
sent you to those places.
417
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,166
That was you? Yeah,
but I swear to you,
418
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:20,451
I never meant for
you to get hurt.
419
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:23,772
I was just trying
to get you fired.
420
00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:25,690
What did I do to you?
421
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:29,861
Well, you were gettin'
laughs at lunch.
422
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:30,995
So?
423
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,064
So, it's just that...
424
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,251
I'm the funny guy at lunch.
425
00:20:36,252 --> 00:20:37,452
Really? Yes.
426
00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,221
Why is everybody
fighting me on this?
427
00:20:40,222 --> 00:20:42,523
Anyway, it was a really
stupid thing to do,
428
00:20:42,524 --> 00:20:44,626
and I'm so, so sorry.
429
00:20:44,627 --> 00:20:47,662
I would totally understand if
you reported me to Mr. O'Boyle,
430
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,930
and had me stuck on
the night shift,
431
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:55,136
but I think I know a
cool guy when I see one.
432
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,509
Senor Doug.
433
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,743
Huh.
434
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:21,446
They finally cut the
ivy off that sign.
435
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,708
Oh, great.
31293
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