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1
00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:13,095
You got the hiccups.
2
00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,281
What gave me away?
3
00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,334
The hiccups?
4
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,102
How about I scare you?
5
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,171
Guaranteed to get rid of them.
6
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,340
It's all right, Arthur.
I'm fine, thanks.
7
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,174
Okay, suit yourself.
8
00:00:26,175 --> 00:00:28,043
I just thought that- Boo!
9
00:00:31,648 --> 00:00:32,914
Okay, still have the hiccups,
10
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,067
and now there's tuna on me.
11
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,819
Actually it's
chicken salad- Boo!
12
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:37,937
Stop!
13
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,138
Boo! Boo! Stop it! Stop!
14
00:00:40,322 --> 00:00:41,524
I'm trying to help!
15
00:00:41,525 --> 00:00:42,908
I don't need your
help, all right?
16
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,827
So knock it off! I'm
sorry, Douglas.
17
00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:46,195
I was merely trying to repay you
18
00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:49,664
for all the kindness
you've shown me.
19
00:00:49,665 --> 00:00:52,734
But I clearly, uh,
overstepped my bounds.
20
00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:54,620
Believe me,
21
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:55,570
it won't happen again.
22
00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,100
Arthur, look, I just wanted to-
23
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:15,190
You're welcome.
24
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,693
Well, there you go.
25
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:55,898
You drink it in, my little
meaty-weaty steakie-weakies.
26
00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:57,499
Yes.
27
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,567
Daddy's gonna give you
a nice little bath,
28
00:01:59,568 --> 00:02:01,736
and after your bath,
he's gonna cook you
29
00:02:01,737 --> 00:02:02,737
and eat you.
30
00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:04,639
Yes, he is. Yes, he is.
31
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,091
Hey, honey. Hey, there she is.
32
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,642
All right, let's
fire up the grill.
33
00:02:07,643 --> 00:02:08,777
Doug-
34
00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:09,662
Okay, now I'm in charge
35
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,896
of steak and potatoes,
36
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,065
so if you want anything green,
37
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,066
that's all you.
38
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,534
Doug, stop. What?
39
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,287
I can't do this tonight.
What do you mean?
40
00:02:18,288 --> 00:02:19,454
I got stuck with this report,
41
00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:20,973
and it's due in the morning.
42
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,124
But we're supposed to have
meat and movie night.
43
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,060
It was your idea.
Only the movie.
44
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,745
Your idea was just
to have meat night,
45
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,413
and that was after I
bargained you down
46
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,182
from meat week.
47
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,951
Carrie, this is Kobe
steak from Japan.
48
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,452
I've been looking
forward to this.
49
00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:36,472
I've rehearsed every chew.
I'm ready.
50
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:37,289
I don't know, honey.
51
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,108
What do you want me to do?
I have to work.
52
00:02:39,109 --> 00:02:42,945
Well- Why are you bringing
work home with you anyway?
53
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:43,812
It just happened.
54
00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,480
We were in a meeting and Ms.
Boone asked
55
00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:46,848
if anyone had any suggestions
56
00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:49,702
on how to lower
acquisition fees.
57
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,454
Don't tell me you
said something.
58
00:02:52,455 --> 00:02:54,573
I just said maybe
we should research
59
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,159
out-of-state escrow companies.
60
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,777
And then she said,
"Great idea, Carrie.
61
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,913
Why don't you take the
ball on this one?"
62
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,581
And you took it?
63
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:03,932
You never take the ball!
64
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,284
The ball's trouble.
It's always trouble.
65
00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:09,054
I know, but I had an idea.
66
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,105
You-? You had an idea?
67
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,207
Do you know how many times
I've had ideas at work,
68
00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:14,175
ways to improve service,
improve safety,
69
00:03:14,176 --> 00:03:15,176
prevent accidents?
70
00:03:15,177 --> 00:03:18,246
But I keep my mouth shut.
71
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:21,499
Look, how about this:
72
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,101
we let the meat keep marinating,
73
00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:24,369
and we'll have it tomorrow.
74
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,823
Tomorrow? That seems like
a million years away.
75
00:03:27,824 --> 00:03:33,028
And tomorrow it'll be meat,
movie, and me night, hm?
76
00:03:33,029 --> 00:03:36,248
I still get the big steak?
77
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,117
Yes, honey.
78
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,035
Okay, well, what time
will you be home?
79
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:42,220
I'm not sure, but I will call
80
00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:43,588
as soon as I'm on my way,
81
00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:45,874
and that'll be your signal
to fire up the grill.
82
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:46,875
Okay.
83
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:49,178
Wh-what's the signal again?
84
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,528
When I call, baby.
When I call, okay?
85
00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:52,297
I read you. I got it.
Yeah. All right.
86
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,369
Hey, you get off of there.
Get off of there.
87
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,804
And let that go.
You let that go.
88
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,139
Relax, Douglas. Bad!
89
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:04,526
I was just admiring these
two wonderful Kobe steaks.
90
00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:05,894
Where's mine?
91
00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:08,313
Well, if you have one,
it's still in Japan.
92
00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:09,982
Always with the quips.
93
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,734
Seriously, is it in the fridge?
94
00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,285
No, just these two
steaks, Arthur.
95
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,454
Carrie and I were gonna
have a special dinner.
96
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,073
I see. And what was I supposed to eat?
Dog food?
97
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:20,976
No, lasagna from last night.
98
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:23,245
Okay, I see how it
works around here.
99
00:04:23,246 --> 00:04:25,581
Shove some leftovers down
the old man's throat,
100
00:04:25,582 --> 00:04:27,148
then as soon as his
back is turned,
101
00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:30,002
out comes the
champagne and caviar.
102
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,136
Okay, you know what, Arthur?
103
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,139
It's one dinner. Just relax.
I will not relax!
104
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,476
What other luxuries do you and
Carrie keep hidden from me?
105
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,677
Nothing.
106
00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:40,779
Ah-ha!
107
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,266
Why don't I have any
of this downstairs?
108
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,667
'Cause that's
dishwashing liquid,
109
00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:47,486
and you don't have a dishwasher.
110
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:48,320
Exactly.
111
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,522
Check and mate.
112
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,112
Hey.
113
00:04:57,113 --> 00:04:58,113
Ms. Boone said anything
114
00:04:58,114 --> 00:04:59,498
about your report yet?
115
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,250
No, and she's had it all day.
116
00:05:01,251 --> 00:05:03,669
Well, that's not
necessarily bad.
117
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,920
Of course it's bad.
118
00:05:04,921 --> 00:05:06,505
I know. I tried.
119
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,006
My husband told me not
to take the ball.
120
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,407
I should've listened to him.
121
00:05:09,408 --> 00:05:12,144
He's a very wise man.
122
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,785
Well, I'm gonna head out.
123
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,053
I'm meeting some of the girls
124
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,021
at T.G.I. Friday's
for Shrimp Fest.
125
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:23,856
I'll walk out with you.
126
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,123
I just gotta call my husband.
127
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,641
And tell him I'm on my way.
Okay.
128
00:05:33,683 --> 00:05:34,950
Actually, you know what?
129
00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:36,084
You go ahead. I-
130
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,053
I gotta find out what she
thought of my report.
131
00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:39,238
It's gonna drive me nuts.
132
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,888
Okay. Good luck. Thanks.
133
00:05:46,296 --> 00:05:47,011
Come in.
134
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,666
Uh, I was just, um, headed out.
135
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:53,418
Oh, you're joining the
girls for Shrimp Fest?
136
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,970
Uh... no.
137
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:56,839
Actually, I just wanted to, uh,
138
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,757
talk to you about my report.
139
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,059
Oh, yes, your report. Yeah.
140
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,493
Listen, I just think
you should know
141
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:04,829
that, uh, reports are
really not my thing, okay?
142
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,664
But I'm still a
heck of a typist,
143
00:06:06,665 --> 00:06:08,833
and I could, uh,
file like the wind,
144
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,435
and your personal errands,
145
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,905
my personal errands.
146
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,240
Carrie, your report
was excellent.
147
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,407
Really? Yes.
148
00:06:16,408 --> 00:06:19,027
You know, I had a good
feeling about it.
149
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:20,511
Good work, kiddo.
150
00:06:20,512 --> 00:06:22,513
And, you know, any
time you have an idea,
151
00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:23,648
I wanna hear it.
152
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,650
I really value your input.
153
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,836
Wow. What?
154
00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,154
No, it's just that
I've never had
155
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,674
my input valued before.
156
00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:33,858
I'm surprised,
157
00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:35,460
because you're
obviously talented,
158
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,928
and you've got a
lot of potential.
159
00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:39,264
You know,
160
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,615
some of the partners
are coming down
161
00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:42,984
for a conference call
with our Chicago branch
162
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,185
in about 20 minutes.
163
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,054
We get a deli spread
164
00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,056
and kind of make it
a working dinner.
165
00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:50,359
You're welcome to
sit in if you like.
166
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,561
Really? Unless you
have to get home.
167
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:53,662
Home?
168
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,816
Um... no. No. No, no.
169
00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,919
Call, damn it.
170
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,490
Thank you. Thank you.
171
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,491
Hello? Carrie?
172
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,793
Yeah, listen, honey-
173
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,702
You're going to sleep now.
174
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:18,703
And when you wake up,
175
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,472
you're gonna be in my tummy.
176
00:07:21,473 --> 00:07:23,775
And so will some of you.
177
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,280
What?
178
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,548
Look, don't hang up.
179
00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:31,783
Is this part of the signal?
180
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,068
No, listen,
181
00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,652
I just found out that
I have to work late
182
00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:36,421
again tonight.
183
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,823
No!
184
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,060
Honey, I'm sorry,
185
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:43,462
but my boss wants me to stay
186
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,414
for an important
conference call.
187
00:07:45,415 --> 00:07:47,999
Carrie, you promised we'd do
this tonight together. I-
188
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,168
Can't you just get out of it?
189
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,838
I- I wish I could, but...
190
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,957
I can't.
191
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,041
What can I say?
192
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,843
I've got another
nightmare job, you know?
193
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,712
All right, see you later.
194
00:08:03,665 --> 00:08:07,735
Mine, one-ply. Yours, two-ply.
195
00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:11,440
Where's my second ply?
196
00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,642
Arthur, you can have a steak now, okay?
You happy?
197
00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:15,160
I'll be happy when I
have a roach motel
198
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,095
under my sink too.
199
00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:24,352
All right, well, I already
pulled all the comps
200
00:08:24,353 --> 00:08:25,871
for all the properties
in the areas.
201
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,657
I just need you to, um, get
the tax records, okay?
202
00:08:28,658 --> 00:08:29,958
Oh, you already got them?
203
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,560
Oh, well, you're the best.
Thank you.
204
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:32,928
Listen, I'm sorry I'm so hyper.
205
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,664
It's just my first
time as team leader.
206
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,298
Okay, bye-bye.
207
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:39,668
Team leader.
208
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:46,258
Yay, honey's home. Honey.
209
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,942
Hi, big guy. Come here. Hey.
210
00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:49,977
Oh, that's the good stuff.
211
00:08:49,978 --> 00:08:51,746
Okay. Sorry I'm
late again tonight.
212
00:08:51,747 --> 00:08:54,099
Yeah, it's, like, uh, been
every night this week.
213
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,067
Yeah, I know.
214
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,868
That boss of mine is killing me.
215
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,120
I heard you on the phone there
216
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,323
talking about being team leader.
Yeah.
217
00:09:01,324 --> 00:09:03,642
Huh? Oh, yeah, that.
Well, you know.
218
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,743
You know how what they say,
219
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:05,843
crap runs downhill?
220
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:09,614
Well, meet the
bottom of the hill.
221
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,516
Very unhappy about this. Yeah.
222
00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,018
I gotta tell you,
223
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,419
on the phone there,
224
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,654
you didn't seem that unhappy.
225
00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,890
Oh, well, that's just me
putting a good front,
226
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,091
you know, for those idiots,
227
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,459
if I wanna keep
my job, you know?
228
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,061
'Cause if we didn't
have bills to pay,
229
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,429
pop-pop-pop-pop!
230
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,697
You know what I'm sayin'? All right.
Good night, baby.
231
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,209
Ah!
232
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,044
Whoa.
233
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:39,995
Oh.
234
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,765
Whoa.
235
00:09:43,766 --> 00:09:46,501
Yeooh! Yeah!
236
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,420
Oh! You know what?
237
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,355
This game really blows, Spence.
238
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,423
No, it doesn't.
239
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,308
Danny and I were playing
in the apartment.
240
00:09:53,309 --> 00:09:54,426
We had a lot of fun, right?
241
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,427
Nah, it blew there too.
242
00:09:57,713 --> 00:09:59,047
Guys, look,
243
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,899
you just gotta give it
a chance, get into it.
244
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,517
Ready? Look, high pop fly. Whoo!
245
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:09,241
You- You guys never
wanna try anything new.
246
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,409
You didn't even give
Nerf Bowling a chance.
247
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,278
Yeah, sorry if I didn't
want to roll a sponge
248
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,979
into 10 other sponges.
249
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,314
Why are you in such a bad mood?
250
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,250
Look, I don't wanna talk
about it, all right?
251
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,951
You want one of my neck rubs?
252
00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:23,821
You want me to leave?
253
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,791
It's not you guys, all right?
It's Carrie.
254
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,660
I mean, she's working
late every night.
255
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:31,179
Acting weird.
Sneaking phone calls.
256
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,931
You think she's cheating on you?
257
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,866
No, I don't think she's cheating.
I think she...
258
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,053
likes her job.
259
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,771
And what's wrong with that?
260
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,940
It's just not natural. I
mean, who likes their job?
261
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,041
I do.
262
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,109
Really?
263
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,877
You like working in a
subway token booth?
264
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,062
Yes, I do. Didn't you tell me
265
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,031
someone peed under your door?
266
00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:52,183
Yeah, but it was a girl.
267
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,487
I had a job I loved once.
268
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,789
I was a DJ at a strip club.
269
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,075
If you loved it so much, why
aren't you still there?
270
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,860
Ah, apparently some
of the strippers
271
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,229
said I was making them
feel "uncomfortable. "
272
00:11:06,716 --> 00:11:08,482
Oh, hey, guys. Hey,
where are you going?
273
00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:09,751
I'm going to spinning class.
274
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,519
I thought you were going
to the Mets game.
275
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,021
Oh, it doesn't start till 1:30.
276
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,989
Yeah, there's a ceremony
for a peanut vendor
277
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,641
who fell out of the upper deck.
278
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:17,725
Pretty tough guy, though.
279
00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:20,512
He actually finished his shift.
280
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,646
I'm just gonna go to the gym
281
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:23,548
and then maybe a little
"shop till you drop. "
282
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,784
Charge it. Okay,
I'll see you later.
283
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,319
Car? Yeah?
284
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,104
You look a little lumpy there.
285
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,672
Yeah, that's why I'm
going to the gym.
286
00:11:31,673 --> 00:11:33,608
No, what do you got
going on under there?
287
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,976
What are you wearing? Stop it.
288
00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:37,011
You friends are here.
289
00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:38,913
Oh, my God, you've
got work clothes on.
290
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,915
You're sneaking to work
291
00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:42,917
on a Saturday.
292
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,319
I can't believe you!
293
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,121
Well, I wouldn't have
had to sneak around
294
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,289
if you had the decency
295
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,257
to go to that stupid
peanut vendor's tribute.
296
00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:52,044
And after all the
peanuts you've eaten.
297
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,546
Look, Doug, the only
reason I was doing that
298
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,914
is because you've been so upset
299
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,015
that I had to work so much.
300
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,283
I didn't wanna upset you more.
301
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,817
That right? Yeah,
but if my boss says
302
00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:01,302
I have to go to
work on a Saturday,
303
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,437
I have to go. Okay,
304
00:12:02,438 --> 00:12:03,454
you didn't have to work.
305
00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:04,990
You wanted to work. Admit it.
306
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,692
You love your job.
307
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,896
Okay, yes, yes, I love my job.
308
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,647
I knew it!
309
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,649
I love the people, I
love how I'm treated,
310
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,184
I love that I'm on
the coffee list.
311
00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:18,787
I love everything about it.
312
00:12:18,788 --> 00:12:20,572
I don't even know you.
313
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,206
Why do I have to defend myself?
314
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:23,741
I mean, I should apologize
315
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,976
for being happy at work?
316
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,445
Yes, 'cause while
you're at work,
317
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,046
I'm stuck here with your father,
318
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,764
who by the way is now
demanding a diaphragm
319
00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:32,717
for his nightstand.
320
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:35,570
Look, I know I've
been neglecting you,
321
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:36,771
and I feel bad,
322
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,974
but we're talking
about my career here.
323
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,192
Career? Ooh.
324
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,860
Somebody's got a career now.
325
00:12:42,861 --> 00:12:46,764
Oh, Her Majesty the
Queen has a career.
326
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,817
Queens don't have
careers, moron.
327
00:12:49,818 --> 00:12:51,085
And you know what?
328
00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:53,087
It would be nice if you
could stop for one second
329
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,773
and think about me here.
330
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,740
But I guess that's just not
331
00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,475
a Doug Heffernan thing, is it?
332
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,212
So apparently my tartar
333
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:04,315
doesn't need to be controlled.
334
00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:11,339
For your information, I
was thinking of you.
335
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,425
Oh, really? How ya figure?
336
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,676
I just didn't want
you to get hurt.
337
00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:15,677
You know what they say:
338
00:13:15,678 --> 00:13:18,547
Goals plus time
equals heartbreak.
339
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,265
How would you know
anything about goals?
340
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,449
I do, okay? Look- You know-
341
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:23,151
You don't think I
could've had a career?
342
00:13:23,152 --> 00:13:24,986
I decided not to. And you know why?
Why?
343
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:26,788
Because I thought it
was more important
344
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:28,089
to work on this.
345
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,742
Getting fatter?
346
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,962
No, our relationship.
347
00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:38,533
Well, you've clearly done
a bang-up job on that.
348
00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:39,868
Oh, okay, you know what?
That's it.
349
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:42,037
All bets are off. What is
that supposed to mean?
350
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,238
I'll tell you what it means.
351
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,406
I'll stop working on this
352
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,773
and start working on my career.
353
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:47,492
That's right, my career.
354
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,794
Getting that big
promotion, moving up,
355
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:50,662
making the big bucks.
356
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,464
How would you like that, huh?
357
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,648
I would love that.
358
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:57,636
Oh, it's on, baby.
359
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,754
It's on!
360
00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:09,197
Sir, you-? You got a moment?
Yeah, I know, Heffernan.
361
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:12,334
The machine's out of Milk Duds.
A guy's coming tomorrow.
362
00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:15,103
It's not, uh... It's
actually not about that.
363
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,439
It's not? What is it, then?
364
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,327
Where is Doug Heffernan...
365
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,749
going?
366
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,584
You're going to, uh...
367
00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:31,536
Brooklyn.
368
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,971
No, I meant in my career.
369
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,206
You know, I've been
here like 10 years,
370
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:38,009
and I just I think I
deserve the chance to-
371
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,794
To move up.
372
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:40,928
Heffernan, last week I asked
373
00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,931
if anybody wanted to apply
for assistant supervisor,
374
00:14:43,932 --> 00:14:46,634
I believe that your
response was, uh...
375
00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:50,805
You gotta- You gotta
relax your lower lip.
376
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:51,806
It's, uh...
377
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:56,945
Doug, just- Just go get
on your route, huh?
378
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,346
Look, sir, I'm gonna
level with you.
379
00:14:58,347 --> 00:15:01,616
I'm gonna need you to give me
some kind of promotion here.
380
00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:02,784
Why?
381
00:15:03,885 --> 00:15:05,386
I had a big fight with my wife
382
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:06,721
about her moving up in her job
383
00:15:06,722 --> 00:15:08,406
and I told her that I could too.
384
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,544
Oh, you really painted yourself
into a corner on that one.
385
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,595
It doesn't even have to be big.
386
00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:14,996
Just something I could take home
387
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,717
and, you know, use to
make her feel like crap.
388
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,336
Let me see.
389
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,304
Oh, well, you know,
390
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:25,557
the union says
391
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,791
gotta get somebody to organize
392
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,192
the CPR and a safety program.
393
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,729
See, that would be great.
394
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,014
Can it have a title?
395
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,216
Uh, uh, uh, how about
safety monitor?
396
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:39,104
How about safety chief?
397
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,555
How about you get your
ass in your truck,
398
00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:41,756
'cause I'm sick of your face?
399
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,760
Safety chief.
400
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,584
Okay, tilt head back
401
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,620
and begin chest compressions.
402
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,825
Damn it, Alvarez,
don't you die on me.
403
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:07,565
Oh, sure, there's no sex
doll for me, is there?
404
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,200
Okay, Arthur, it's a CPR dummy.
405
00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:10,552
You don't fool me.
406
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,686
Look at that lifelike skin,
407
00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,222
those full, pouting lips.
408
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,592
Look, uh, Carrie's not home yet,
409
00:16:17,593 --> 00:16:19,444
so I sent out for Chinese.
410
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,195
Don't need it.
411
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,196
I'll be enjoying
412
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:24,232
a delicious Kobe steak,
413
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,068
one that you're not
getting a bite of.
414
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,903
Okay, you know what?
That's not Kobe steak.
415
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,139
Read the label, you
illiterate baboon.
416
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:35,726
One hundred percent Kobe beef.
417
00:16:35,727 --> 00:16:38,096
Okay, you wrote that
with a ballpoint pen.
418
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,333
And you misspelled "beef. "
419
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,650
You're still not getting any.
420
00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:50,458
Hey, did I come home
a little early?
421
00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:51,776
No, I was just
getting up to speed
422
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,595
on my new I.P.S. position,
423
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,795
safety chief.
424
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:58,066
That's right, safety chief.
425
00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,234
Really? Yep.
426
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,518
I'm in charge of
everything safety
427
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,519
and first-aid related.
428
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,356
All urine testing
goes through me.
429
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,191
All? Wow.
430
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,374
"Wow" is right.
431
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,176
I've been trying to get
ahead for like a day
432
00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:10,277
and already I got this.
433
00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,847
I'm gonna leave you in the dust.
434
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,916
Look, Doug, I know
you only did this
435
00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:17,585
out of spite toward me.
436
00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:19,220
But whatever the reason,
I'm really happy
437
00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:20,722
you're trying to
better yourself.
438
00:17:20,723 --> 00:17:22,207
I just hope you keep it up.
439
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,063
Kids, I was cutting the
gristle from my Kobe steak,
440
00:17:29,064 --> 00:17:31,599
and I seem to have cut
my thumb quite badly.
441
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,801
Oh, Dad, let me take a look-
442
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,186
Whoa, whoa, I will handle it.
I'm safety chief.
443
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,404
Come on, Arthur. Come on, Doug-
444
00:17:36,405 --> 00:17:38,222
Fine.
445
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,227
Okay, work this right
out right now.
446
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,595
Let me see here.
447
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,497
"Burns, choking, lacerations. "
448
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,650
Where's cuts?
449
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,985
"Lacerations" is cuts. Hey.
450
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,321
Handling it.
451
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,490
Got it.
452
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,276
Okay, here we go.
453
00:18:02,631 --> 00:18:05,283
What are you planning
on doing, Douglas?
454
00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:08,803
Okay, uh, let's see here.
455
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:12,807
It says to apply
bandage as shown.
456
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:14,075
Okay. You have to disinfect it
457
00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:15,894
before you put the bandage on.
Hey.
458
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,179
Don't you have a team
to lead somewhere?
459
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,181
Ow, you're making it bigger!
460
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,549
Would you-? Relax, okay?
461
00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:22,650
I'm just gonna get my tape.
462
00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:24,903
Just hold that right
there, would you?
463
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,920
If I don't make it,
464
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:27,955
the box under my bed
belongs to a friend.
465
00:18:27,956 --> 00:18:28,956
I swear.
466
00:18:30,225 --> 00:18:31,593
All right, enough of this.
467
00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:32,994
No, I got it. Okay.
468
00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:36,030
I will handle it. Ah, crap.
469
00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:38,766
That's the wrong stuff, okay?
470
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:39,968
It's the right stuff.
471
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:41,970
Okay, if it's the right
stuff give me some then,
472
00:18:41,971 --> 00:18:43,788
'cause I need a
little over here.
473
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,310
Hey.
474
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,714
Look, I'm sorry I
stepped in down there,
475
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,216
but it's just- I
didn't want my dad
476
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:59,220
to, you know, bleed to death.
477
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,857
But that doesn't mean you're
not still safety chief.
478
00:19:02,858 --> 00:19:04,642
I'm no safety chief.
479
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,293
They wouldn't have
given you that badge
480
00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:07,896
if you weren't up to the job.
481
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,380
They didn't give it
to me, all right?
482
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,283
I had it made at a Kinko's.
483
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,501
All right, what can I do
484
00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:15,703
to get things back to
the way they were?
485
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:18,072
Hate your job.
486
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,692
Honey, I want to,
but I just don't.
487
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,994
Why does this
bother you so much?
488
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,296
It's just we've always
been people who work
489
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,714
'cause we had to work.
490
00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:28,700
You know, we gave 40
hours a week to the Man
491
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,836
so we could spend the other 40
hours here, home, together.
492
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,673
Doug, a week has more than-
493
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:37,642
Never mind.
494
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,527
Doug, just because I love my job
495
00:19:39,528 --> 00:19:42,347
doesn't mean I don't love
my time here with you.
496
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,881
Yeah, but...
497
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,150
when you come home
from a job you hate,
498
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,768
being with me is like
a step up, you know?
499
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,021
Now when you come home
you're like, "Hey, I'm home.
500
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,073
Oh, that's right.
This place sucks. "
501
00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:53,757
Come on, that's crazy. Whatever.
502
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,109
It's not your problem, you know.
503
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,778
I'll have to get used
to you coming home
504
00:19:56,779 --> 00:20:00,698
all happy and fulfilled
and on the coffee list.
505
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,766
Doug, you're overreacting.
506
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:05,203
I'll always love
coming home to you.
507
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,405
And besides, being on the
coffee list is no treat.
508
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,473
They go to this really
fancy Italian restaurant
509
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,125
where the coffee's
really bitter.
510
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:14,012
Really? I mean,
the coffee's bad?
511
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,346
Yeah, really bad.
512
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,464
Wow.
513
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,232
I mean, coffee's the
first thing you have
514
00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:19,867
in the morning,
so if that's bad,
515
00:20:19,868 --> 00:20:22,970
that gets your day off
to a crappy start, huh?
516
00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:25,189
Yes, yes,
517
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,725
a really crappy start.
518
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,361
That is too bad. Yeah,
it's the worst.
519
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:31,612
What else you got?
520
00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:32,680
Um...
521
00:20:33,948 --> 00:20:36,950
Oh, one of the drawers
on my desk sticks,
522
00:20:36,951 --> 00:20:37,951
so I gotta yank on it,
523
00:20:37,952 --> 00:20:39,621
and then the whole
thing comes out.
524
00:20:39,622 --> 00:20:42,957
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
525
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:45,860
Oh, and then they hired this new guy.
Really sleazy.
526
00:20:45,861 --> 00:20:48,463
He is always rubbing up
against me in the copy room.
527
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,431
That's awesome. Yeah.
528
00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:54,469
Listen, you're not
just saying this
529
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,970
to make me feel better, are you?
530
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:58,906
No, no, I mean, the guy
is- Is a total perv.
531
00:20:58,907 --> 00:21:00,140
His hands are all over me.
532
00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:03,895
It makes me feel dirty
and cheap and violated.
533
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,113
I love you.
534
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:30,812
Ahh!
535
00:21:30,837 --> 00:21:32,871
Works every time.
37205
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