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1
00:00:32,474 --> 00:00:33,598
Hey.
2
00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,901
Hey, what's up, man? Hey,
you guys remember Steve,
3
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,484
the guy I worked with
at the pizzeria?
4
00:00:37,509 --> 00:00:38,593
No. No.
5
00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:41,156
Remember how he moved to
Vegas a couple years ago?
6
00:00:41,157 --> 00:00:42,758
Yes, Danny. I don't
remember Steve,
7
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:45,944
but I have a very clear
memory of where he moved.
8
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:47,329
Well, the guy's a
real big shot now
9
00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:50,282
and he works for a hotel that
looks like something in Europe.
10
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:53,085
Uh, a pyramid, I think.
11
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,453
And?
12
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,956
And he still has his classic
corvette garaged here in Queens.
13
00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:00,625
He said if I drive it
out to Vegas for him,
14
00:01:00,626 --> 00:01:03,345
he'll hook us up. Free
hotel, free food.
15
00:01:03,346 --> 00:01:04,796
Are you serious? Yes, yes!
16
00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:07,053
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
17
00:01:07,085 --> 00:01:09,344
Is this for real, or is
this just another one
18
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,387
of your desperate
ploys to be liked?
19
00:01:12,388 --> 00:01:14,556
No, this one's totally legit.
20
00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:17,292
Wait a minute. We don't have
to act as drug mules, do we?
21
00:01:17,293 --> 00:01:19,794
I mean, I'll do it. I
just need prep time.
22
00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:21,947
No, no, no. This is
no strings attached.
23
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:23,399
I pick up the car on Tuesday,
24
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,433
I drive it out there.
25
00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,401
You guys fly out and meet me.
26
00:01:26,402 --> 00:01:27,220
Who's in?
27
00:01:27,245 --> 00:01:28,329
I'm in. I'm in.
28
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:30,471
Well, let's just say I'm all in.
29
00:01:30,894 --> 00:01:32,228
I just gotta run it by Kelly.
30
00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:36,962
Don't you have to ask Carrie?
31
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,464
Actually, yeah, I do.
32
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,116
I don't have to ask
anyone permission.
33
00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,918
That's why I'm single.
34
00:01:42,919 --> 00:01:45,387
Yeah, that's why.
35
00:01:45,388 --> 00:01:47,055
Are you sure you can
get this by Carrie?
36
00:01:47,056 --> 00:01:49,958
I mean, she wouldn't even let
you buy those walkie-talkies.
37
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:51,209
Hey, that's not over,
38
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:53,779
and, yeah, I can handle
Carrie when I need to.
39
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,298
You know what? I gotta pick
her up at her salon at 5.
40
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:57,599
I'll just say somethin' like,
41
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,334
"Carrie, have I told you
42
00:01:59,335 --> 00:02:02,037
you look even more beautiful
than the day I met you?"
43
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,471
She'll melt like butter,
44
00:02:03,472 --> 00:02:06,742
and then it's hello,
angry drunken gambling.
45
00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:08,994
Yes!
46
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,146
Carrie, have I told you
47
00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:14,249
you look even more beautiful
than the day I met you?
48
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,817
What's that?
49
00:02:15,818 --> 00:02:18,453
You want me to go to
Vegas for the weekend?
50
00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:21,022
Okay.
51
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:25,344
Double-stuffed apple pie.
52
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,163
I heard they were working
on something like that.
53
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:41,143
Yes, I'd like to try
your new double-stuffed
54
00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:42,411
fudge-covered apple pie.
55
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,813
Will that be all?
56
00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:46,514
You know, as long as
you got the grill on,
57
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:49,868
I'll take a double
whammer with cheese.
58
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,969
Come on.
59
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:11,173
Okay. Yeah, yeah, napkins.
Okay, yeah.
60
00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,781
Uh, could we hurry
this up, please?
61
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,450
I- I really need to get going.
62
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,383
Oh, the pie's not ready.
63
00:03:22,384 --> 00:03:23,484
They have to heat the fudge
64
00:03:23,485 --> 00:03:25,153
because it's too thick to pour.
65
00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:28,724
Too thick to...
66
00:03:28,725 --> 00:03:30,492
I'll wait.
67
00:03:50,329 --> 00:03:52,363
Hey. How's it going?
68
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,468
Where the hell have you been?
69
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,604
There was a huge
accident way back.
70
00:03:58,605 --> 00:03:59,905
Like, three tractor trailers
71
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,474
hit another tractor trailer.
It was, like, jackknifed,
72
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,160
and there were, like,
people lined up for miles.
73
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,295
And they, uh- The cops
came and it was a whole-
74
00:04:07,296 --> 00:04:08,880
They gotta put in a
light over there.
75
00:04:10,099 --> 00:04:11,500
What?
76
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,903
Is that fudge on your face?
77
00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:22,277
How the hell did that get there?
78
00:04:22,278 --> 00:04:24,612
Did you stop for fudge?
79
00:04:25,882 --> 00:04:28,116
Have I told you
you're more beautiful
80
00:04:28,117 --> 00:04:30,018
than the day I met you?
81
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,142
I can't believe you screwed
up our whole Vegas plan
82
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,061
for fudge.
83
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:42,247
Again, it was too thick
84
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:44,466
to pour.
85
00:04:46,635 --> 00:04:48,569
I just bought a very
expensive neck pillow
86
00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:52,207
and now I have nowhere to fly.
Thanks a lot.
87
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,591
Look, we can sit
around here all day
88
00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:55,626
trying to decide who's
at fault, okay?
89
00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:56,995
But I say we work on a solution.
90
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,947
The solution was not to
hit the drive-through
91
00:04:58,948 --> 00:05:00,916
and leave your wife in the rain.
92
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,568
Yeah? Tell it to
the belly, okay?
93
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:05,671
Look, it's not that bad. I
didn't even ask her yet.
94
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,840
I just gotta figure a way to
get back on her good side,
95
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:12,094
build up enough credit so she
forgets the whole rain thing.
96
00:05:12,095 --> 00:05:13,295
No, man, that just
gets you even.
97
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:15,880
You gotta earn extra
credit to get us to Vegas.
98
00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:18,300
You know, you might be right.
99
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:20,835
Gosh, I need something huge.
100
00:05:20,836 --> 00:05:23,905
You know, something
nice, thoughtful.
101
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,340
Something sensitive.
102
00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:27,175
Something almost gay.
103
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,446
What do you got?
104
00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:33,315
Well,
105
00:05:34,617 --> 00:05:37,235
you could take her
to a wellness spa.
106
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:39,821
That sounds pretty gay.
107
00:05:39,822 --> 00:05:41,423
What is it?
108
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,924
It's a place where
they rejuvenate you
109
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,393
spiritually and physically. I
went to one in the Poconos.
110
00:05:45,394 --> 00:05:47,062
They have a great
couples package.
111
00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:47,963
Couples?
112
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:50,232
Well, not only
couples in a sense
113
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,633
of two married or dating people.
114
00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:53,635
It could be a couple
of friends, or uh-
115
00:05:53,636 --> 00:05:55,804
Son and his mother.
116
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:57,872
We had separate beds.
117
00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:00,208
That sounds like something
Carrie would love
118
00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:01,977
and it would get you
the credit you need.
119
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:04,512
Yeah, it's just the
whole idea of wellness.
120
00:06:04,513 --> 00:06:05,780
It just sounds wrong.
121
00:06:05,781 --> 00:06:07,482
Ah. Hey, don't worry about it.
122
00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:10,752
The wellness will bounce off
you like bullets off Superman.
123
00:06:10,753 --> 00:06:13,704
You know what? You're right.
Three days at a wellness center
124
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:16,441
can't put a dent in me.
125
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:19,361
I use bacon as a condiment.
126
00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:27,435
Hey, Arthur. Is Doug here?
127
00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,553
No. He and Carrie
left for the weekend.
128
00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:31,773
Oh, that's right. I was
gonna ask him something
129
00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:33,908
about our Vegas trip.
130
00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:36,477
You're going to Vegas?
Las Vegas?
131
00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:37,745
Yeah.
132
00:06:37,746 --> 00:06:39,581
I got a foolproof
card-counting system
133
00:06:39,582 --> 00:06:40,981
to beat the house at blackjack.
134
00:06:40,982 --> 00:06:42,417
Works every time.
135
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:45,469
If you've got this
winning system,
136
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:48,273
why do you still live
in Doug's basement?
137
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:51,943
Why haven't you paid me
back the $37 you owe me?
138
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,212
You want your
filthy money, fine.
139
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,517
Let's settle this thing
once and for all.
140
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,053
You wanna learn the
system or not?
141
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,388
Yeah.
142
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:05,573
The fee is $37.
143
00:07:11,947 --> 00:07:14,048
And this will be your living
space for the weekend
144
00:07:14,049 --> 00:07:15,516
and you don't need a key.
145
00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:18,253
Here at the Zen Wellness Center,
we don't believe in locks.
146
00:07:18,254 --> 00:07:20,020
Oh. Maybe you should,
147
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:21,789
'cause it looks like
you've been robbed.
148
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,245
I gotta tell ya, I
ain't hatin' this.
149
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,966
So, uh, is the TV
in the other room,
150
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:34,085
or does it pop out of something?
151
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:35,403
There's no TV.
152
00:07:35,404 --> 00:07:37,105
We believe that
TV is the gateway
153
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:40,358
to negative thoughts
and sadness.
154
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:43,728
Not if you have the
football package.
155
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:45,496
Honey. You're gonna
love the bathroom.
156
00:07:45,497 --> 00:07:48,066
They have a tub you
can land a plane in.
157
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,584
Ah. That sound
like a lot of fun.
158
00:07:58,527 --> 00:08:00,594
So is the, uh, TV in the bar?
159
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,581
We don't have a bar.
160
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:07,252
I need to speak to
your supervisor.
161
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,938
Well, here's a list of
our treatment options.
162
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:11,840
Have a wonderful stay.
163
00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:14,275
Okay.
164
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,460
Okay, honey,
165
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:18,396
to avoid a repeat of the
honeymoon incident,
166
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,932
the second thing in
there is not a toilet.
167
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,302
It's a bidet.
168
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,736
Okay, thanks for the heads-up.
169
00:08:25,737 --> 00:08:27,972
You're gonna love this place.
Look at this.
170
00:08:27,973 --> 00:08:30,425
Aroma therapy, shiatsu massage,
171
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,160
and to bring it all home,
172
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,345
colon irrigation.
173
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,131
How great is this place, huh?
174
00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:38,549
No, it's great.
It's pretty great.
175
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,835
Just one question, though.
What's goin' on?
176
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,070
What do you mean?
177
00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:45,223
Well, the whole taking me
away to a spa for a weekend
178
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,591
doesn't really sync up
179
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:49,427
with the rest of our marriage.
180
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,612
What, a husband can't do
something nice for his wife
181
00:08:51,613 --> 00:08:52,630
just to do it?
182
00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:54,082
Well, somethin's goin' on. Oh.
183
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:55,617
I see. Something's
got to be going on
184
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,685
for me to do something nice?
Is that how it works?
185
00:08:57,686 --> 00:09:00,805
Something's gotta be going on.
186
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,158
Look, Doug, I didn't
mean it that way, okay?
187
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:04,992
It's just, I'm
surprised, that's all.
188
00:09:04,993 --> 00:09:06,845
Well, did it ever occur
to you that I'm trying
189
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,814
to be a better man?
190
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:14,102
A new and improved Doug, huh?
191
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,987
You know what? Just forget it.
192
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:17,905
Look, honey, I just thought-
193
00:09:17,906 --> 00:09:20,742
Yeah, it's pretty clear
what you thought.
194
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,678
Doug, I'm sorry, honey.
195
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,148
This was a very sweet
thing for you to do
196
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,983
and I love the new
and improved Doug.
197
00:09:28,984 --> 00:09:31,119
Just trying to make you happy.
And I am happy. I am.
198
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,754
That's what a
relationship's about,
199
00:09:32,755 --> 00:09:34,673
making each other happy, yeah?
Yes.
200
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,007
If something that made me happy,
201
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,592
I'm sure you'd want me to do it.
202
00:09:37,593 --> 00:09:40,061
Of course, I would.
Of course, you would.
203
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:44,165
These are the moments,
honey, we gotta remember.
204
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:55,276
The cards you wanna count are
the tens, jacks, queens, kings.
205
00:09:55,277 --> 00:09:56,944
Okay, I got that. So
you can communicate
206
00:09:56,945 --> 00:09:59,313
without arousing suspicion,
each card has a nickname.
207
00:09:59,314 --> 00:10:00,915
Say hello to Alfred
Lord Tennyson,
208
00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:02,249
Johnny Switchblade,
209
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:05,286
Mississippi Mabel, and
The Farmer in the Dell.
210
00:10:05,287 --> 00:10:09,040
Aren't there shorter
names that make sense?
211
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,391
This is the system.
212
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:13,193
Why can't you be
more like Rain Man?
213
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,515
Oh- Okay, those- Those
names are fine.
214
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:20,785
Now, sometimes your
eyes can give you away.
215
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:24,589
So I want you to wear these.
216
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,183
Why are you wearing gym stuff?
217
00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:37,986
They told me to when I signed
up for the men's package.
218
00:10:37,987 --> 00:10:40,354
Oh, I signed up for the
relaxation package.
219
00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,740
What's the difference?
220
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:42,973
Aagh! Breathe, breathe,
221
00:10:42,974 --> 00:10:44,041
Find your center.
222
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:46,578
I can't feel my center.
223
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,228
Mmm.
224
00:10:50,365 --> 00:10:51,816
Oh, come-
225
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:52,917
Oh, come on.
226
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:56,054
Reach back and grab your heel.
227
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,241
Okay, and seven more.
228
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,644
Six, and five, and
four, and three-
229
00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:03,978
You can do two more! Come-
230
00:11:37,062 --> 00:11:39,013
This better be good.
231
00:11:39,014 --> 00:11:41,433
Hey, Doug, it's me. How's
the spa thing going?
232
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,385
It's brutal. They're
killing me here.
233
00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:45,720
Come on. It can't be that bad.
234
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,255
Tomorrow, I'm scheduled
for them to pour coffee
235
00:11:48,256 --> 00:11:50,925
into a part of my body
where it doesn't belong.
236
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:54,829
I'm telling you, man,
I'm out of here.
237
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,964
But Danny's already driving.
238
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,432
You have to stick it out...
239
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:00,501
for Vegas.
240
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,121
I can't do it.
241
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,355
You can. Now come on, man.
242
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,826
Gambling, buffets, free drinks.
243
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:08,993
I just can't do it.
244
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,895
You know what I heard
just opened up?
245
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,798
A topless doughnut shop.
246
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,541
A topless doughnut shop?
247
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:26,377
Do they make 'em fresh?
248
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,646
Every hour.
249
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,352
All right. I'm back in...
250
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,354
for Vegas.
251
00:12:48,483 --> 00:12:50,368
May I take your car, sir?
Oh, hey.
252
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,253
Uh, yeah. That'd be great.
253
00:13:19,181 --> 00:13:20,631
How could you possibly think
254
00:13:20,632 --> 00:13:24,736
there'd be valet parking at
a diner in Kutztown, Ohio?
255
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,471
I have never been to Ohio.
256
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,741
I don't know the local customs.
257
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,092
I got all this
credit with Carrie
258
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:33,077
and nothin' to use it on.
259
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,962
Why don't you just save
it and put it in the bank
260
00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:36,597
and use it for another thing?
261
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,366
You can't put wife
credit in the bank.
262
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:40,434
Why not? It's like
a piece of fish.
263
00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:43,555
As soon as you get it,
it starts going bad.
264
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,724
He's right. With
each passing minute,
265
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:48,927
Carrie's forgetting
all about that spa.
266
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,629
I gotta use that credit quick
or it's gonna be gone.
267
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:54,498
What do I wanna do?
What could be fun?
268
00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:56,334
Help me find something fun.
269
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,085
Well, come on, look. Um...
270
00:13:58,086 --> 00:13:59,887
Oh, hey, the
Lipizzaner Stallions
271
00:13:59,888 --> 00:14:02,574
are coming to the
Equestrian Center.
272
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,726
Great. You and Mommy
can have a good time.
273
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:10,974
What? Ah. "Garfield. "
274
00:14:12,301 --> 00:14:13,734
Hey, hey, how about this?
275
00:14:13,735 --> 00:14:16,904
Tony Orlando's doing a
show right here in Queens.
276
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:23,928
I'm just saying the man
had a lot of hits.
277
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:27,131
Still. Keep looking.
278
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,473
Phew.
279
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,308
Arthur, what are we doing here?
280
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:40,394
I thought you said we were gonna
go see the Lipizzaner Stallions.
281
00:14:40,395 --> 00:14:41,812
We clean out this
place, you can buy
282
00:14:41,813 --> 00:14:44,315
all the high-steppin'
horses you want.
283
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,250
This casino night
is for charity.
284
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:47,318
It doesn't feel right.
285
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:48,952
Look, you blew your
shot at Vegas,
286
00:14:48,953 --> 00:14:51,639
but that doesn't mean all our
hard work should go to waste.
287
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,425
Now, let's light this candle.
288
00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:01,699
I read three books by
Alfred Lord Tennyson.
289
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,167
In one of them,
Mississippi Mabel
290
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,936
and The Farmer in the
Dell had a double date.
291
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:08,305
Hit me.
292
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,294
Twenty-one. Another winner.
293
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,482
Spence Olchin, is that you?
294
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,234
Oh, Father Sheehan, hi.
295
00:15:20,235 --> 00:15:23,521
Why don't you take a break?
I'll deal for a while.
296
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,024
Haven't seen you in confession
in a while, Spence.
297
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,893
Uh, I've been doing it online.
298
00:15:30,161 --> 00:15:31,829
Ah. Blackjack.
299
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,830
Ha-ha! Yeah, yeah!
300
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,916
And the rich get richer.
301
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,604
Oh, God, I can't
take it anymore!
302
00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:58,890
I- I've been cheating.
I've been counting cards.
303
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:02,359
Here, take my chips.
Please forgive me, Father.
304
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,566
Well, it appears
this seat is open.
305
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:14,539
I'm gonna need a line of credit.
306
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,175
Kelly's lettin' you go?
307
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:20,143
All right. Well, it's
gonna be awesome, Deac.
308
00:16:21,296 --> 00:16:23,164
I'm home. Yeah, you know what?
309
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:24,732
Carrie's here. Uh,
I'll call you back
310
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,667
as soon as I get the thumbs up.
311
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:29,587
Hey, there's my
special little gal.
312
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,672
That was Deac on the phone.
Oh, I had the worst day.
313
00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:34,392
He just happened- Yeah.
Where's our aspirin?
314
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,960
Oh, good. Here it is.
315
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:36,994
What happened?
316
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,429
Ah, work was a nightmare,
317
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,098
and on the way home,
the subway stalled
318
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,599
and I was wedged up
against some guy
319
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,601
who was morally
opposed to showering.
320
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,989
So I just feel pretty crappy.
321
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:49,840
Well, I don't want
you to feel crappy.
322
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,141
I want you to feel good.
323
00:16:51,142 --> 00:16:53,544
You know, like you felt when
I took you to that spa.
324
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:56,013
Huh? Oh, right, that. Compared
to the day I had today,
325
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:58,616
the spa feels like that
was 1000 years ago.
326
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,235
Yeah, but it wasn't.
327
00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:03,237
It was just this past weekend.
328
00:17:03,238 --> 00:17:04,905
Hey, I got an idea.
329
00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:06,273
Why don't we get
you back to that
330
00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:09,794
relaxed spa frame
of mind right now?
331
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,729
No, honey, I just wanna go
upstairs and get the smell
332
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,548
of unwashed hippie out
of my nose, okay?
333
00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:15,533
Come on. I'll just give you
a quick little massage
334
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,167
here on the couch.
It'll be nice.
335
00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:18,268
Oh, okay.
336
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:20,738
Yeah, sit right down.
337
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:21,839
Thank you, honey.
338
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,007
There you go.
339
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:25,008
Okay.
340
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,077
Oh, how does that feel, huh?
341
00:17:27,078 --> 00:17:28,446
Feels good. Good.
342
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,613
This is really sweet of you.
343
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:31,315
No problem. You know what?
344
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,350
I got another surprise for you.
345
00:17:33,351 --> 00:17:36,620
You remember that
Sounds of the Ocean CD,
346
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:38,756
the relaxation one
they had at the spa?
347
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:39,990
Oh, you got it?
348
00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:42,259
Nope.
349
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:44,462
But I don't need it.
350
00:18:19,614 --> 00:18:20,865
What the hell was that?
351
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,550
It's- It's a beach cat.
352
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:24,418
That's right. It's a beach cat.
Relax.
353
00:18:24,419 --> 00:18:26,186
It feels good, doesn't it?
Yeah. Honey,
354
00:18:26,187 --> 00:18:28,422
I gotta tell you, you've
been really sweet lately.
355
00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:29,823
I like the new and
improved Doug.
356
00:18:29,824 --> 00:18:31,392
Well, you know what?
You deserve it.
357
00:18:31,393 --> 00:18:34,145
Yeah? Well, how about
you come upstairs
358
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,580
and I show you the new
and improved Carrie?
359
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,548
Oh. All right.
360
00:18:38,549 --> 00:18:40,617
Wow.
361
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:42,853
And, uh, how about
tonight we play
362
00:18:42,854 --> 00:18:46,690
"High Society Lady and
Sweaty Cabana Boy?"
363
00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:52,680
Really? But you said
what cabana boy wanna do
364
00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:55,566
no es bueno.
365
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,801
Well, since you did
the spa thing for me,
366
00:18:57,802 --> 00:19:00,604
I think I can do this for you.
367
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:04,075
Since I did the spa thing.
368
00:19:05,499 --> 00:19:06,766
No, wait!
369
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:11,849
I believe I asked
for a margarita
370
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:15,887
and a fresh towel an hour ago, Pepe.
Where are they?
371
00:19:17,139 --> 00:19:20,007
I just don't think we should
do this right now, Carrie.
372
00:19:20,008 --> 00:19:21,692
Okay, my name is not Carrie.
373
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,762
It's Penelope Van Smythe.
374
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,213
Now,
375
00:19:26,214 --> 00:19:28,449
get on the lounge chair,
376
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:30,951
you filthy cabana boy.
377
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,570
Look, I just- You
know what it is?
378
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,421
I pulled a hammy on the
way up the stairs.
379
00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:36,807
Okay, okay, I get it. I get it.
Come on, take a rain check.
380
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,326
You're puttin' up a fight.
381
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:39,810
Now, you stay on
this lounge chair,
382
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,879
or I will have you fired, Pepe.
Okay. You know-
383
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,513
I don't wanna do this.
Stop it. I-
384
00:19:43,514 --> 00:19:44,749
Stop it! What's the matter?
385
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,617
I don't wanna do it! Why?
386
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,019
I don't wanna waste
my credit on sex!
387
00:19:49,737 --> 00:19:51,923
What?
388
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,624
The credit I get for
taking you to the spa.
389
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,659
I wanna use it to go
to the Indian Casino
390
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:58,863
to watch the Ultimate Fighting
Championship this weekend.
391
00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:03,934
Okay, let me see if I
understand this correctly.
392
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:06,036
You only took me to the spa
393
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:08,072
because you wanted a credit
394
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:10,107
which you don't wanna waste
395
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,476
by having sex with me?
396
00:20:15,497 --> 00:20:17,398
It sounds bad when you
lay it out like that.
397
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:19,549
Oh, my God, Doug! I
can't believe you!
398
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,318
There's no new and
improved Doug.
399
00:20:21,319 --> 00:20:24,572
It's just the same old
selfish, lying Doug.
400
00:20:24,573 --> 00:20:27,825
I like to refer to it
as "Doug Classic. "
401
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:30,460
Look, it doesn't matter why
I took you to the spa.
402
00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:31,862
The point is, you
had a good time,
403
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,914
and I should get
credit for that.
404
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:37,718
Oh. Okay. Not only do you not
get any credit for the spa,
405
00:20:37,719 --> 00:20:40,321
but you just forfeited
any possible credit
406
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:44,175
for years to come
for you and Pepe.
407
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:47,944
But I went through hell.
They put coffee in me!
408
00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:53,851
And I hope it was piping hot.
409
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,103
I deserve somethin'.
410
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,310
The man does have a lot of hits.
411
00:21:10,251 --> 00:21:12,370
Hey!
412
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,755
Blackjack. You win again.
413
00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:17,290
Well, looks like
you've cleaned us out.
414
00:21:17,291 --> 00:21:20,494
I guess the orphans will have to
spend the summer in the city.
415
00:21:32,307 --> 00:21:34,408
I'll take this in cash, please.
30162
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