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1
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,701
Are you sure you don't want to get
that lobster cocktail thingy?
2
00:00:36,769 --> 00:00:38,703
I already ordered
the clam chowder.
3
00:00:38,771 --> 00:00:40,305
So get both.
4
00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:42,808
I told you, in honor of my
first paycheck in months,
5
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,011
I am treating, and I expect
you to do some damage.
6
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,747
You do realize you're poking
a hornet's nest here?
7
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,867
I do. But we are celebrating.
8
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,368
And listen to this.
9
00:00:53,435 --> 00:00:54,870
If you behave,
10
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:57,539
I will take you to that
stupid Chris Tucker movie
11
00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,974
where he plays a big baby.
12
00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:00,842
Little homey?
13
00:01:00,909 --> 00:01:02,227
Mm-hmm.
14
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,729
Wait a second. Just 'cause
you're taking me out
15
00:01:04,797 --> 00:01:06,164
for a fancy night on the town
16
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,465
you do realize
17
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,734
that doesn't automatically
mean you get the, uh...
18
00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:12,103
Shma-Booty.
19
00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:14,656
Now, listen. You can
either give it to me
20
00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:16,424
or I can take it.
It's your choice.
21
00:01:16,492 --> 00:01:17,408
Here we go.
22
00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,493
Thank you.
23
00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:19,827
Careful. Bowl's hot.
24
00:01:19,895 --> 00:01:21,763
Ok. Um, guy.
25
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:22,764
Yeah?
26
00:01:22,831 --> 00:01:24,232
Do you have any of those, uh,
27
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,918
crackers that are shaped
like little baby oysters?
28
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,322
Uh, guy.
29
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:31,522
Yeah?
30
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:33,925
Uh, it's a pretty big bowl.
31
00:01:42,234 --> 00:01:44,002
Oh...
32
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:45,771
There's one of the
girls I work with.
33
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:47,055
Emily. Emily.
34
00:01:47,122 --> 00:01:49,274
Oh, hey, Carrie.
35
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,475
Hi! Hi!
36
00:01:50,542 --> 00:01:52,511
Uh, Emily, this is
my husband Doug.
37
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:54,712
And that's Emily. We work
on the 40th floor together.
38
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:55,813
Hi. How you doin'?
39
00:01:55,881 --> 00:01:57,315
Oh, and this is
my husband Peter.
40
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,383
How do you do? Hi Peter.
41
00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,884
Carrie works for Mr. douchet.
42
00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:01,186
Oh. How's that going?
43
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,387
It's going good.
It's going good.
44
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,906
Although I wish he would ease
up on the cologne a little.
45
00:02:04,974 --> 00:02:06,691
Yeah, it is kind of strong.
46
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,476
Kind of? You know, the other day
47
00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:10,812
I saw a fly land
on his shoulder,
48
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,849
2 seconds later... dead.
49
00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,168
Hey, why don't you guys join us?
50
00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:17,669
We just got a nice big table.
51
00:02:17,736 --> 00:02:19,071
Oh, actually, we
just got our food-
52
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,488
yeah, that's be great.
Let me just grab this.
53
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:22,390
No. Uh-huh, great, ok?
54
00:02:29,748 --> 00:02:32,016
Whoa, whoa! Guy,
what are you doing?
55
00:02:32,084 --> 00:02:33,351
What?
56
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,019
You're taking all the cheese.
57
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:37,055
It came up with the chip.
58
00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:39,023
Yeah, 'cause you
grabbed the nucleus.
59
00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:40,692
What?
60
00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:43,728
Every pile of nachos
has one main chip
61
00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,847
that holds the whole thing
together-the nucleus.
62
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,316
You don't take the nucleus.
You work around it.
63
00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,351
You honor it.
64
00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,687
That's nachos 101, man.
65
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,958
Can I eat this or is someone
gonna throw a punch?
66
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,444
Oh, hey, guys.
67
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,294
Hey. Hey.
68
00:03:00,362 --> 00:03:02,380
Honey, good news.
Emily and Peter
69
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,649
have 2 extra tickets to
Mark Russell tonight
70
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,318
and they want to take us.
71
00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,420
Who the hell is Mark Russell?
72
00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:09,855
He does these politically based
73
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,690
song parodies. He's hilarious.
74
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,792
He's got this one
about newt gingrich-
75
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,026
he-
76
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:18,597
he totally rips him a new one.
77
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,731
You know what? That
sounds like fun.
78
00:03:20,799 --> 00:03:21,483
Let's do it.
79
00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,701
Really? Thank you.
80
00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,703
But we're supposed to
go to Cooper's tonight
81
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,204
to watch that ultimate
fighting thing.
82
00:03:26,271 --> 00:03:27,739
You need 4 people
to get a booth.
83
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,574
I got a chance to
hang out with my wife
84
00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:33,011
and her new work friends, all right?
Just back it down.
85
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,080
Love you.
86
00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:37,849
Love you, too. Lookin'
forward to it.
87
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,218
You do realize
88
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,554
you just went from 2
psychos fighting in a cage
89
00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:45,856
to a guy in a bow tie
singing about inflation.
90
00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:47,793
Ha ha! I forgot about that one.
91
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,695
That one's great. Ha ha ha!
92
00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,463
Calm down? You know what?
I know what I'm doing.
93
00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:53,799
Really? 'Cause from
where I'm sitting,
94
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,701
you just got steamrolled
like a cartoon character.
95
00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,970
Look, Carrie just got a new
job, and that's great.
96
00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:00,838
The bad news is, now there's
a whole new building
97
00:04:00,906 --> 00:04:02,674
full of these Manhattan
chuckleheads
98
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,342
she's gonna want to
make friends with.
99
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,927
Oh, she loves that.
100
00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,313
"Oh, let's make new friends.
Let's open up our world."
101
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,515
You know what? I don't
want to open up our world.
102
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:13,018
I want to close our world.
103
00:04:13,085 --> 00:04:15,586
Build a dome over it.
104
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,422
Well, if you don't want
to meet any new people,
105
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,257
why'd you agree to
go out with them?
106
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,426
Because Carrie can't
know about the dome.
107
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,194
So what I like to do is...
108
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,830
Happily agree to go out
with these people.
109
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:29,200
And then let's just say, by
the end of the evening...
110
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:31,936
They no like Dougie so much.
111
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:37,375
Oh, thanks for taking
us tonight, you guys.
112
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,543
Oh, sure.
113
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,645
Mark Russell never disappoints.
114
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,982
I had no idea there were so many
words that rhyme with bipartisan.
115
00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,419
Wow, I really love this house.
116
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,621
Oh, thank you. It's
just a place holder
117
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,222
until I hit the lottery.
118
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,224
Actually... I think
I'm a place holder
119
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:54,792
until she hits the lottery.
120
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:56,811
Honey, you want to get
some coffee going?
121
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,229
Oh, yeah, yeah.
122
00:04:58,297 --> 00:05:00,131
All right, you guys just
talk amongst yourselves.
123
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,167
Ohh, what a great night, huh?
124
00:05:02,234 --> 00:05:03,501
Yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah.
125
00:05:03,568 --> 00:05:04,502
Yeah.
126
00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:08,840
Can I, uh, ask you
guys a question?
127
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,175
Oh, sure.
128
00:05:10,242 --> 00:05:13,144
Is this a lot of hair, right here?
Seriously.
129
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,866
'Cause some people
say I'm hairy,
130
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:20,718
but I don't think I'm
hairy enough, you know?
131
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:22,887
Like, especially in the
winter, the cold months.
132
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,155
Yeah, what do you think?
133
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,090
I, uh, I don't, um...
134
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,925
I'm sure you're fine.
135
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,361
You want to touch it?
It's very soft.
136
00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,362
No.
137
00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:31,863
Go ahead. Seriously. Touch it.
138
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,198
It's like a puppy, I swear.
139
00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:34,532
It's a little puppy.
140
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,368
Yeah. No bitey, no bitey.
141
00:05:36,435 --> 00:05:38,703
Uh... I don't think I want
to do that right now.
142
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:41,706
You know, sometimes I think
about shaving it all off
143
00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:44,675
and just stuffin' it in a
pillowcase and sleepin' on it.
144
00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:47,095
Hey. There she is.
145
00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:49,013
I hope you guys don't mind.
146
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:51,065
All I could find
were these oreos.
147
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,051
Yeah. Um, actually,
we have to scoot.
148
00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:54,219
Yeah.
149
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,386
Come on, hang out.
150
00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:57,055
Yeah, I'm sorry.
151
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,474
I forgot the babysitter
needs us home by 11:00.
152
00:05:59,541 --> 00:06:00,742
By 11:00. She did say that.
153
00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:02,510
Oh, ok. All right.
154
00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,612
Well, let's do this
again, you guys.
155
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,364
Yeah, we'll check our schedule!
156
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,536
That was fun.
157
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,671
That was fun.
158
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,239
Ok, I win again. You
just scratched.
159
00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:29,899
Obviously you're not
familiar with the rules
160
00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:32,258
of north European billiards.
161
00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,517
I can't believe you
brought Arthur here.
162
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,726
We needed a fourth to get the booth.
What's the big deal?
163
00:06:37,751 --> 00:06:39,418
The big deal is, when
he gets into a fight,
164
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:41,450
I'm the one who's gonna
have to stop it,
165
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:44,052
and this is too damn pretty.
166
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,387
Who was light beer?
167
00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:47,489
Oh, that'd be me.
168
00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:48,808
Watching the old waistline.
169
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,343
Gotta fit into my bikini
for the summer, right?
170
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,729
Right. And 2 Heinekens.
171
00:06:55,265 --> 00:06:56,899
Damn, that was rough.
172
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,752
Yeah, guy. A little tip when
you try to pick up chicks-
173
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,255
don't make them picture
you in a bikini.
174
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,841
Can I borrow some cash?
175
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,060
No more money, Arthur. You stink at pool.
Deal with it.
176
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,446
I'll play you right now
for a million dollars.
177
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,232
You already owe me 8 million
from pinball. Sit down.
178
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,773
I'm hot.
179
00:07:22,448 --> 00:07:23,775
Then take off your sweater.
180
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:26,445
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
181
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,515
Fine, then be hot.
182
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:33,252
Ok, you win. Enjoy the show.
183
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,127
Do you want some help
with that, Arthur?
184
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:46,031
I think I can take off my
own sweater, thank you.
185
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,705
Is someone gonna
help me or what?
186
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,357
Come here. Come here.
187
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,827
Give me that,
188
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,796
and... there.
189
00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:03,081
That was terrifying.
190
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,618
I'm gonna need a
men's room pronto.
191
00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,404
Here are your wings.
192
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:10,405
Thanks.
193
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,007
Was that your grandfather?
194
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,343
Who, him? No, that's
just some guy.
195
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,095
Oh. You know, so many people
196
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,597
take the elderly for granted,
197
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,966
it's really sweet seeing you
take care of him like that.
198
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,833
It is?
199
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,485
Sure. It shows you
have a big heart.
200
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:25,120
I like that.
201
00:08:25,188 --> 00:08:26,522
Oh, ho.
202
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,523
She likes that.
203
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,608
Huh!
204
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,942
Ok, false alarm.
205
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,444
Oh, hey, there's the man.
206
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,011
Huh? Come here.
207
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,781
You got a little, uh,
shmutz on your face.
208
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,223
Oh, you're sick, Emily?
209
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,475
That's too bad.
210
00:08:46,542 --> 00:08:49,378
Hey, maybe it's from smelling Mr.
Duchet's cologne, right? Ha ha!
211
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,113
Oh, ok, you gotta go?
212
00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:53,549
All right. Ok. Bye-bye.
213
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,984
Crap.
214
00:08:55,052 --> 00:08:56,769
What's the matter, babe?
215
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,854
Emily and Peter blew
us off again tonight.
216
00:08:58,922 --> 00:09:01,407
Really? That's weird.
217
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,510
They said they had
to go bird shopping.
218
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,779
Who goes bird shopping
on a Saturday night?
219
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,216
Who goes bird shopping?
220
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,784
People like birds.
221
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,619
I almost got a parrot once,
222
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,955
till I found out
they live to be 80.
223
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,824
I don't need my
pet outliving me.
224
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,442
I just don't understand it.
225
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,944
I mean, I thought
we all hit it off.
226
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:24,946
How can they not like us?
227
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:26,448
I don't know. I mean...
228
00:09:26,516 --> 00:09:27,949
There are people
out in the world
229
00:09:28,017 --> 00:09:30,051
who don't like squirt cheese.
230
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:35,107
But we all gotta share
this big spinning rock.
231
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,125
I mean, you were funny.
232
00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:38,460
I know they liked you.
233
00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:40,829
Well, that's true.
I'm-I'm electric.
234
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:45,300
Do you think it was me?
235
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,054
No.
236
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,472
My God, was it me?
237
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,307
No, no, no. You're fun and...
feisty.
238
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:53,809
What do you mean, I'm feisty?
239
00:09:53,877 --> 00:09:55,844
Like I came on too strong?
240
00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:58,096
Not at all. You didn't, no.
I mean...
241
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,164
Although...
242
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,449
No, no, no- what?
243
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,984
It's nothing! What?
Just tell me!
244
00:10:02,052 --> 00:10:03,252
Ok, you-
245
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,488
you remember at
dinner when you...
246
00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:08,658
Asked the busboy, like,
3 times for lemons?
247
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:11,494
I thought I saw Peter and Emily
throw each other a look, like...
248
00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:14,096
"Ok..."
249
00:10:14,164 --> 00:10:17,349
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
250
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,168
Hey, I love it when you
mix it up with the help,
251
00:10:19,235 --> 00:10:23,172
but maybe they're just not
hip enough to "get" you.
252
00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,908
You know, it's their loss.
253
00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:27,226
I just thought this
would be a great way
254
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,694
to open up our world a
little bit, you know?
255
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,363
Yeah, but, you know,
256
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,698
we got a great world
right here in queens,
257
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,534
with great friends who...
258
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:38,036
Love us for who we are.
259
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,007
You're right, honey.
260
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,811
Thanks, babe.
261
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,451
And all is quiet in the dome.
262
00:11:03,013 --> 00:11:04,146
Oh, hey, Emily.
263
00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,480
Hey, Carrie.
264
00:11:09,019 --> 00:11:11,787
I just got, like, 70 more.
265
00:11:14,524 --> 00:11:16,575
So did you guys end up, uh,
266
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,744
getting that bird or...
267
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,829
Oh, no. No.
268
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,080
We looked around, but we
couldn't agree on one.
269
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,181
Yeah, it's hard.
270
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,889
Emily, uh...
271
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,707
Can I ask you a question?
272
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,959
Sure.
273
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,711
Uh, did I do anything
the other night
274
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,414
to offend you in any way?
275
00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:39,732
No, no. Not at all.
276
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,867
I know I can be
opinionated sometimes.
277
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,669
I talk before I think, and I-
278
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,287
Carrie, I think you're great.
279
00:11:45,355 --> 00:11:46,521
Really.
280
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:47,356
You do?
281
00:11:47,424 --> 00:11:48,440
Yeah.
282
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,708
Oh.
283
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,310
Then you guys want to get
together this weekend?
284
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,846
Yeah, um... I don't think so.
285
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,983
Ok. I mean, if you
like me so much,
286
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,586
how come you never want
to hang out with us?
287
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,938
Carrie... it's not you.
288
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,158
Did you lift your shirt
289
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,360
and make them touch
your belly hair?!
290
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,531
What?!
291
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:13,582
Did you?
292
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:14,817
I lifted my what and made who-
293
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:17,285
I- I-i-i can't even follow
what you're saying!
294
00:12:17,353 --> 00:12:19,655
You lifted your shirt and
made Peter and Emily
295
00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:21,156
touch your belly hair!
296
00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:22,991
Oh, yeah, ok, yeah, and
then I threw on a g-string
297
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:25,795
and gave Peter a lap dance.
Yeah.
298
00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,630
Oh, yeah, ok, Doug, what are
you saying, Emily's lying?
299
00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:28,731
Why would she lie?
300
00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:29,798
Oh, come on. Yeah-
301
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:31,967
I lifted up my shirt and
I made them touch me.
302
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,935
That's what I did.
303
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,137
Oh, God.
304
00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:36,638
10 years together, Carrie.
305
00:12:36,706 --> 00:12:40,142
10 years, you think
you know a person.
306
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,977
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
307
00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:45,281
This-this stings a little.
This-this stings...
308
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,733
All right, l-look, I
know it sounds crazy,
309
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,001
but why would she...
310
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,169
I don't know, you know,
311
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,104
but maybe it's because
you guys work together
312
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,522
and she didn't want to
hurt your feelings,
313
00:12:54,591 --> 00:12:55,857
so she blamed me.
314
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:58,493
It's all right. I'm a big boy.
I can take it.
315
00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:02,047
Honey, I am so sorry.
316
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,016
No, no, no, no, no.
No, you know what?
317
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,019
I'm sorry that you have to
put up with people like her.
318
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,287
I just don't know what's
going on with me.
319
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,789
It's like I can't
read people anymore.
320
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,491
Is it because I've been
out of work for so long?
321
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,296
We can analyze this till
we're blue in the face...
322
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,797
The point is,
323
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,732
it's behind us.
324
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,800
You know what?
325
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,301
You are right.
326
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,537
Screw Emily kornbluth.
327
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,055
Yeah!
328
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:30,125
There are plenty of people at my
office we could hang out with.
329
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,814
So how much would it take
330
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,867
for you guys to get it
on in front of me, huh?
331
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,917
May I?
332
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:55,918
Thank you.
333
00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:10,649
Come on. We've all wondered
334
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,084
what human flesh
tastes like, right?
335
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,888
So, seriously... You in?
336
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:37,142
There you go, big guy.
How's that feel?
337
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,279
It didn't really hurt to begin
with, but I'm not hatin' it.
338
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,847
How low could you go without
feeling uncomfortable?
339
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,550
As low as the law
allows, my friend.
340
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,919
Oh, I'll be back
in just a second.
341
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,225
Hey, Kate, how's it goin'?
342
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,310
Oh, hey.
343
00:14:55,378 --> 00:14:57,279
Yeah. Just, uh,
knockin' one back
344
00:14:57,347 --> 00:14:59,047
with my old pal Arthur.
345
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:02,100
God, his own family keeps him
locked in a basement all day.
346
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,769
It's sad.
347
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:07,338
Damn it, I said I wasn't
gonna cry about this.
348
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,040
Oh, yeah, but, you know, it
looks like you and your friend
349
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,975
take really good care of him.
350
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,511
What?
351
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,031
Yeah, I guess looking after
him is a lot of work.
352
00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:18,416
It doesn't feel
like work, though.
353
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,653
It feels a lot more like love.
354
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,388
I love you, too, Daniel.
355
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,290
Now, give me a nice crisp part
356
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,592
like desi arnaz.
357
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,361
What are you doing?
358
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,996
Arthur's hair was
a little messy,
359
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,564
so I'm fixing it.
360
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,600
Ok, leave him alone.
This is my thing.
361
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:35,667
Well, now it's our thing.
362
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,002
No, it isn't.
363
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,670
Why don't you go away, all right?
I'm doing his hair.
364
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,888
Uh, hey, look at the time.
I gotta feed you.
365
00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:40,923
Here. Have a breadstick.
366
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,341
I don't want a breadstick.
367
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,342
Yes, you do.
368
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,776
Sesame seeds make
my gums inflamed.
369
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,111
Hey, come eat. This way.
370
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,279
Hey, now stop it!
371
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,713
The two of you have
been grooming me,
372
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,265
you've been feeding me...
373
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,501
Letting me sit on your lap.
374
00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:54,219
What gives?
375
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,954
It's just...
376
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:58,123
It turns out women
kind of like it
377
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,092
when they see us
taking care of you.
378
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,245
So I'm only here so you can
use me as old man bait?
379
00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:04,946
You make me sick.
380
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:08,650
Now, finish my desi and
then I'm outta here.
381
00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:14,956
Hey, did I tell you that Kelly's
on the steering committee
382
00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:17,292
for Kirby's middle school?
383
00:16:17,359 --> 00:16:19,861
No, but back that story up,
384
00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:22,063
'cause I don't want
to miss a thing.
385
00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,149
Come on, man. I'm
in trouble here.
386
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,017
She's trying to make friends
with this couple she met there-
387
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,385
George and viola.
388
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:31,339
I need to know how this
whole dome business works.
389
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,459
Oh, so somebody wants a
little help from the master.
390
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,660
Yeah, yeah. Walk
me through this.
391
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,229
How do I make these
people disappear?
392
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,498
Well, the first thing you
do is you go out with them.
393
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,501
Ok, you be charming, and pretend
you're having a great time.
394
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:47,005
And when Kelly leaves the
room, you make your move.
395
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,306
What do I do?
396
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,141
Well, there are a
lot of options.
397
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:54,145
But I'm gonna start you off
with a basic shirt lift.
398
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,249
You mean like this?
399
00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:00,451
You know what? You don't
have a ton of hair.
400
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,520
You might want to go nipple.
401
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:05,857
All right, fine.
402
00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:07,609
Anything else?
403
00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:10,729
Sometimes I like to throw
in a crazy look, like...
404
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,417
That really works?
405
00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:17,302
I have yet to find a
glitch in the system.
406
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,306
Everybody hates me, I hate
them, and I am quitting.
407
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,540
That's it. I've had it.
408
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,261
And there's the first glitch.
409
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,452
Hey, babe. You're not really thinking
about quitting your job, are you?
410
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,055
Yeah, I am. Ok? I'm looking
through the want ads right now.
411
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,557
I refuse to work with people
412
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,291
that I have to beg to be
my friend, all right?
413
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,161
I'm a very sweet
and nice person.
414
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,363
They can all bite me.
415
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,031
You just had a bad day.
416
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,665
Hey, you know what? I know
what'll cheer you up.
417
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,534
How about we grab
some Chinese, huh?
418
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:50,569
No, I'm not hungry.
419
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,870
Come on. We could make fun
420
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,772
of Mr. Chang's lisp, order
some thweet and thour thoup.
421
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,859
No. You know what? I'm
just gonna go to bed.
422
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,147
Look, you just got this job.
You can't quit.
423
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,550
You know what? Find someone else.
We'll go out with them.
424
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:05,467
No.
425
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:06,785
It'll work out this time.
I know it.
426
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,470
Really? How do you
know that, Doug?
427
00:18:08,538 --> 00:18:11,155
Because this time you won't
yell at a busboy about lemons,
428
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,292
and I won't "lift my shirt."
429
00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:17,328
Come on. You work with,
like, a million people.
430
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:19,865
There's gotta be someone
there we can go out with.
431
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,101
Well, I kind of know
the newsstand lady
432
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,602
that works in the lobby.
433
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:25,904
Perfect. There we go-
434
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,674
me, you, newsstand lady, Mr.
newsstand lady-
435
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,409
we'll all paint the town.
436
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,143
Ok.
437
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,012
All right? Now let's talk Mr.
Chang's, huh?
438
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,181
Thweet and thour thoup,
thethame chicken-
439
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,449
and anything else?
440
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,218
Thpare ribth?
441
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,554
That's my girl.
442
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,276
There you go, whitey.
443
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,946
It seems you had some
marshmallow on your chin.
444
00:18:51,013 --> 00:18:52,180
You put it there.
445
00:18:52,247 --> 00:18:54,532
You want your 5
bucks, then shut up!
446
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,137
Just, uh, taking care
of my old friend here.
447
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,143
Arthur, uh, we just came by
448
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,477
to say we're sorry.
449
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,613
Yeah, we didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
450
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,150
Buzz off. I got my own
thing working right now.
451
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,484
Wait-wait a minute.
452
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:16,054
You're doing exactly what
you yelled at us for.
453
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,322
Doing what?
454
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,141
Never mind what I'm doing!
Just look pathetic.
455
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:23,311
He's using you because
women are attracted to men
456
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,546
who take care of the elderly.
457
00:19:25,614 --> 00:19:26,831
Really?
458
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,767
Then I'm gonna call
my Uncle Carl.
459
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,575
At first we just
sold newspapers.
460
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,678
Then I got the idea to
sell gum and candy.
461
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,348
Then I put in the chip rack,
462
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,849
and knock on wood,
463
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,753
next month we're getting
a chapstick dispenser.
464
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,090
Wow. It's a good
time in our lives.
465
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,192
Well, I'm gonna get
some more coffee.
466
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,428
How are you guys? You ok?
Cheryl? Dennis?
467
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,096
We're fine. Uh, good.
468
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:02,000
Ok. Well, just let me know
if anything bothers you. Ok?
469
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,618
All right.
470
00:20:03,685 --> 00:20:05,953
Hey, you guys ever
play balderdash?
471
00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:07,238
Hmm?
472
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,707
The board game.
473
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:11,543
You make up fake
dictionary definitions.
474
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,211
It's hilarious.
475
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,047
We're in a league every
Tuesday and Friday.
476
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,549
Maybe you could join.
477
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,019
"If you love words,
you'll love balderdash."
478
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,457
Yeah. And Dennis here,
479
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,360
he always makes this
incredible chili.
480
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,345
It is delicious.
481
00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:31,613
No meat.
482
00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:33,715
All tofu.
483
00:20:33,783 --> 00:20:35,383
And...
484
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,152
We get totally drunk.
485
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,571
On fun!
486
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:43,091
Ha ha ha ha ha!
487
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,792
Is this a lot of hair right here?
Seriously.
488
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:45,977
Huh?
489
00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:49,231
Hey...
34410
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