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1
00:00:11,343 --> 00:00:13,211
Where is the remote?
2
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:17,315
Hey, remote! Come here, boy.
3
00:00:17,383 --> 00:00:19,350
No remote. Carrie!
4
00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:22,120
Where'd you put the remote?!
5
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,824
Ah, here you are,
you little scamp.
6
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,694
Ahh. Yeah.
7
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,331
Oh, no, no, no, no!
8
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,219
Scratch just above
my left buttock.
9
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,941
Couple things-
10
00:01:49,008 --> 00:01:50,742
uh, you didn't say please,
11
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,978
and I'd rather die.
12
00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,312
Damn it,
13
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,731
this rash is torture,
and it's in a spot
14
00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,833
I just can't reach.
15
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,754
Hey, hey, come on.
Don't use that.
16
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,206
I have to. It's the only utensil
17
00:02:04,273 --> 00:02:06,608
that feels remotely
like human fingers.
18
00:02:06,675 --> 00:02:10,028
So... you've tried them all?
19
00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:12,914
At various times
over the years, yes.
20
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:30,215
Ok, sorry to keep bugging you,
21
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,000
but what do you think of this
outfit for my interview?
22
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,401
Do we have a winner?
23
00:02:33,469 --> 00:02:35,354
It's nice, it's nice.
But how about an outfit
24
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,756
that shows off a little more...
25
00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:40,058
Boobage?
26
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,276
Doug, come on. I
want to get this job
27
00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:42,945
on my qualifications.
And I'll tell you,
28
00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:45,814
I have a really good
feeling about this one.
29
00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:47,749
You know, the head
of the Dugan Group
30
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:49,434
legal department
called me personally
31
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:50,435
to confirm the interview.
32
00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:52,170
He went on and on
about my resume,
33
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,139
my letters of recommendation.
34
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,141
I mean, he practically
gave me the job
35
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:57,408
on the phone.
36
00:02:57,476 --> 00:02:59,444
Yeah, but just to be safe...
37
00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,099
Darling, my friend Mickey
just gave me the name
38
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,068
of his dermatologist in
stamford, Connecticut.
39
00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:08,303
Please take me
there immediately.
40
00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:09,471
Dad, that couldn't
be less possible.
41
00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:11,707
I have a job interview
in 2 hours.
42
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,508
I understand.
43
00:03:13,576 --> 00:03:16,762
Douglas, let's roll.
44
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,963
I can't. I got the
cable guy coming.
45
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,115
If I miss him this time, I
gotta wait another month.
46
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,233
But my haunches are on fire.
47
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,001
Does that mean nothing to you?
48
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,621
All right, you know what, dad,
49
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,756
Dr. mandelbaum's office is
on the way to my interview.
50
00:03:27,823 --> 00:03:29,407
If you're that uncomfortable,
I will drop you off
51
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,793
and pick you up
when I am done, ok?
52
00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:32,611
Why, so he can just
give me some more
53
00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:35,130
of his overpriced ointment?
No dice!
54
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:38,099
I want to see Mickey's dermatologist.
Mickey swears by him!
55
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:39,735
Mickey has more
spots on his face
56
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,970
than a cheetah, ok?
57
00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:43,438
It's mandelbaum or nobody.
58
00:03:43,506 --> 00:03:45,373
Now you've got 5 minutes
to get dressed.
59
00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:46,725
Fine.
60
00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,316
Ms. Heffernan? Yes.
61
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:55,484
Mr. hecht is just
finishing up a call
62
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:56,552
in the conference room.
63
00:03:56,619 --> 00:03:58,554
He'll be ready for you
in a few moments.
64
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,156
Ok. Thank you.
65
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,927
I have never been so angry!
66
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,712
Shh! Dad, what are
you doing here?
67
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,381
I told you to wait for
me at mandelbaum's.
68
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,682
I couldn't very well
wait in the office
69
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,118
of a man I'm now suing, could I?
What?!
70
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,470
That charlatan took one
little peek at my rash
71
00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,072
and told me to keep
using the ointment.
72
00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:19,107
I grabbed my file
out of his hands,
73
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,108
kicked over his cactus,
74
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,876
and ran like the dickens!
75
00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:22,644
Shh!
76
00:04:22,712 --> 00:04:24,479
Ms. Heffernan? He's ready.
77
00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:25,614
Oh, ok. Thank you.
78
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,482
Young lady, which
of your lawyers
79
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,351
specializes in
dermatology scams?
80
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:30,919
Ha ha ha ha. He's kidding.
81
00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:34,255
Come on. Yeah.
82
00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:35,240
Now, you listen to me, you.
83
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,109
Until my interview is
over, you will sit there
84
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,378
and speak and make eye
contact with no one.
85
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,895
But I- no one!
86
00:04:40,963 --> 00:04:43,749
Now sit down. Sit.
87
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,483
And stay.
88
00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:51,139
One of the differences
between the way we operate
89
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,474
and what you might have
been used to is that,
90
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,243
since this a real estate
development firm,
91
00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:56,378
the lawyers aren't
running the show,
92
00:04:56,445 --> 00:04:57,545
unfortunately.
93
00:04:57,613 --> 00:04:58,913
Right, right.
94
00:04:58,981 --> 00:05:01,249
We could be going in one
direction on a project,
95
00:05:01,317 --> 00:05:02,851
and then the development
guys pull something
96
00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,686
and we have to do
a 180 overnight.
97
00:05:04,754 --> 00:05:07,656
Well, actually, what I
consider one of my strengths
98
00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:09,708
as an assistant is I keep my own
99
00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:12,411
cross-referenced
files on all the...
100
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:16,498
Cases my boss is working on,
101
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:21,203
so if things change
suddenly, I can, uh...
102
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,238
You can what?
103
00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:24,222
Uh...
104
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:27,792
So, often you might be called on
105
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,494
to assist one of our
senior attorneys
106
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:32,331
at city hearings,
negotiations, and so forth.
107
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,449
Oh, well, that's very exciting
news, because at my old firm
108
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,551
there was really never
an opportunity to-
109
00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:45,193
and I don't have any
children, so if I'm required
110
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,095
to stay late or go out of town,
111
00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:48,930
that doesn't really present a-
112
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,332
a problem-
113
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,685
in-in the sense
that I would give
114
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,470
my total focus to-
115
00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:58,840
just one second.
I'll be right back.
116
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,727
Excuse me.
117
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,229
What are you doing?
118
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,898
I told you not to
talk to anybody.
119
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,899
He asked me if I
was being helped.
120
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,700
Damn it, I have a
lawsuit to file!
121
00:06:09,768 --> 00:06:12,437
Shh! Dad, these are real
estate lawyers, ok?
122
00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:14,072
They don't represent lunatics
123
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,606
who want to sue their
dermatologist!
124
00:06:15,674 --> 00:06:17,476
They all moonlight. Grow up.
Good sir-
125
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,161
no, dad, come here.
Give me the file.
126
00:06:19,228 --> 00:06:20,628
Just stop and knock it off.
127
00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:21,797
Give it- no! No!
128
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:23,531
What are you doing?!
129
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,221
One more sec.
130
00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:36,978
It's funny. You know, I mean,
131
00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,180
ever since it went out, I...
132
00:06:39,248 --> 00:06:41,583
Keep walking by and
grabbing for that remote
133
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,285
and flicking it on and...
134
00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:46,571
That static comes up.
135
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,307
I keep doing it over
and over again,
136
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,208
you know, 'cause I forget.
137
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,978
That's the thing with
something like this.
138
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:56,715
You just forget.
139
00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:58,550
I've had it with him, Doug!
I've just had it!
140
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,019
What happened?
141
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,287
I had the job. I could feel it.
142
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,656
All I had to do was get
through the interview
143
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:06,658
without acting like
a mental patient.
144
00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:08,693
Well, guess who took
care of that for me?!
145
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,928
Oh, please. I didn't come near
146
00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,196
her precious interview.
147
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,332
I was conducting a
private conversation,
148
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,099
and she interrupted me!
149
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,852
He showed a stranger his ass.
150
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,255
The top of my ass!
151
00:07:20,322 --> 00:07:21,757
Should I come back another time?
152
00:07:21,824 --> 00:07:22,674
No, no, no, no, no, no.
153
00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:24,092
This is just playful banter.
154
00:07:24,159 --> 00:07:25,594
So what happened with his ass?
155
00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:27,428
It doesn't matter, ok?
156
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:28,729
The point is I had a shot
157
00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,031
at something good in my life,
158
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:33,768
and once again my father
stomped it into dust!
159
00:07:33,835 --> 00:07:35,286
And here come the melodramatics!
160
00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:36,420
You know what?
161
00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:38,072
Go to hell.
162
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:41,409
Sure, everything is my fault!
163
00:07:41,477 --> 00:07:42,544
Were it not for me,
you'd be married
164
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:46,247
to the prince of Monaco
and living in his castle!
165
00:07:46,315 --> 00:07:48,700
Maybe I really should leave.
166
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,319
No, no, no. Look, it's over.
It's all over.
167
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,587
You know, let me
tell you something.
168
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:54,188
Crap.
169
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,691
I didn't want to marry
the prince of Monaco.
170
00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:58,260
I did want to win that
junior spelling bee.
171
00:07:58,327 --> 00:07:59,560
You remember that, huh?
172
00:07:59,628 --> 00:08:00,561
Indeed I do.
173
00:08:00,629 --> 00:08:01,796
Really? 'Cause I
would have won that
174
00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:03,197
had you not shouted out
175
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:04,949
how to spell the word vestibule
176
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,901
while I was thinking of it!
177
00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:07,652
I had to shout.
178
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,672
You kept ignoring
my hand signals!
179
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,174
You know what else I wanted?
I wanted to perform
180
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,043
in the seventh grade
performance of swan lake,
181
00:08:16,111 --> 00:08:19,097
not be yanked out of the
auditorium in my leotard
182
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,498
because they didn't
want to give you
183
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,268
"v.I.P. Seating."
184
00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:25,036
The other swans' parents
were in the front row.
185
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,571
Should I have ignored that?
186
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:28,689
Yes, yeah, yeah, you should
have ignored that because-
187
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:31,426
now I know this is a hard
concept for you to understand-
188
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,362
that night wasn't about you.
189
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,397
Oh, this is stupid. It's
just ancient history.
190
00:08:36,466 --> 00:08:39,718
Oh, ok, you want to
talk about today, then?
191
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,953
I would've liked to have
gotten that secretary job,
192
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,738
but you know what I
would've liked more?
193
00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:47,025
Not having to grovel for
a secretary job at all.
194
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,726
But that would have meant
me going to college,
195
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,328
and I didn't go to
college, did I?
196
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,964
No. I became a checker
at waldbaum's.
197
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,067
Why, because somebody said
I would be abandoning him.
198
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:57,235
Your mother had just died!
199
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:58,903
My life was in upheaval!
200
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,973
So was mine. News flash, ok?
201
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,040
You were never
there for me, dad.
202
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,376
You never-you never
are, you never were.
203
00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,378
And you know what, when
I was sitting there
204
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:08,679
trying to hold that
interview together
205
00:09:08,747 --> 00:09:09,880
and I was looking
through that glass,
206
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:10,881
do you know what I saw?
207
00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,384
What I've been seeing
my whole life:
208
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:14,719
A lousy father.
209
00:09:14,786 --> 00:09:16,938
A selfish, overbearing,
210
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,607
lousy father!
211
00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:28,466
Did I offer you a soda yet?
212
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,185
I gotta go.
213
00:09:35,691 --> 00:09:38,760
I don't know what to say.
214
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:42,030
Nothing you can say,
nothing you can do.
215
00:09:42,097 --> 00:09:43,498
Unless you can go back in time
216
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,166
and fix everything.
217
00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:02,850
Hello?
218
00:10:04,653 --> 00:10:05,986
Oh. Uh-huh.
219
00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:10,225
Ok. Thank you.
220
00:10:12,994 --> 00:10:15,330
I got the job.
221
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,816
Um...
222
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,918
Yay?
223
00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:28,376
Hey, any sign of my dad?
224
00:10:28,444 --> 00:10:30,111
Nope. I thought I saw him
225
00:10:30,178 --> 00:10:31,345
in the park, but it turned out
226
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,414
to be just a weird-shaped kid.
227
00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:35,583
Ohh. Why couldn't that
stupid phone call
228
00:10:35,651 --> 00:10:37,685
have come 5 minutes earlier?
229
00:10:37,753 --> 00:10:40,188
Then I never would've gone
off on him like that.
230
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:42,257
How bad was it?
231
00:10:42,325 --> 00:10:44,893
It wasn't that bad.
It really wasn't.
232
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,143
Doug, don't lie to me.
How bad was it?
233
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:47,879
It was the worst
thing I ever saw.
234
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,480
And I once saw a guy
chase his glass eye
235
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:53,117
down a flight of subway stairs.
236
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,371
Oh, this is awful!
237
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,372
Look, it's gonna be all right.
238
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,073
No, it's not gonna
be all right, Doug.
239
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,342
I mean, there are things in life
240
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,910
you just don't say out
loud, and I said 'em.
241
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,947
I called the man a lousy father.
242
00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:07,648
I did say that, right?
243
00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:08,483
Twice.
244
00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:10,835
The second time, you
kind of spit on him.
245
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:13,738
Hey, what's up?
246
00:11:13,805 --> 00:11:15,473
Your dad's at my place.
247
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,092
Oh, good. How is he?
248
00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:17,859
Well, he seems pretty upset.
249
00:11:17,926 --> 00:11:19,077
He said he's not coming home
250
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:22,213
until he figures out a
way to go back in time,
251
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,514
which has me a little worried,
252
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,250
'cause I'm having
people over tonight.
253
00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:28,536
Don't worry. I'll
take care of it.
254
00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:30,138
Go talk to him, honey.
255
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:32,140
Me?
256
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:33,875
Yeah, please. I
wouldn't even know
257
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,543
what to say to him right now.
258
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:36,344
You just tell him
you got the job
259
00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:37,762
and everything'll be fine.
260
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,497
Doug, I don't think the
job news will offset
261
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,499
the "I hate you" news.
262
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,601
I got nothing to say to him.
263
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,437
Yeah, but someone's gonna
talk to him, right?
264
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,807
'Cause I have a lot of
jell-o shots to make.
265
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,226
Fine. All right, fine.
266
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,361
I will do it.
267
00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:54,879
Thank you, honey. I love you.
268
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,482
All right, I'm gonna go take
a walk and clear my head.
269
00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:59,050
Ok. I have no TV,
270
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,285
and now I'm about to beg Arthur
271
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:01,619
to come back home.
272
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:02,720
You know what, you'd
better drive.
273
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,839
I might take us off a bridge.
274
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:18,203
Hey, Arthur. I'm back.
275
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,537
I brought Doug.
276
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,073
Howdy.
277
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,041
So, this is my place.
278
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,643
Wow. Very nice.
279
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,812
Very, very nice.
280
00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:29,263
Good view of the expressway.
281
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:33,401
Great view, actually.
282
00:12:33,468 --> 00:12:34,969
Yeah, and after a while,
the traffic noise
283
00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:36,771
starts to sound like the ocean.
284
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,973
Wow, another plus right there.
285
00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:41,208
Oh.
286
00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:44,562
So, Arthur, how's it going?
287
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,931
How's, uh- how's your rash?
288
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:48,016
Much better.
289
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,769
Turns out mandelbaum's
ointment works after all.
290
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,421
Good. That's good.
291
00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:54,905
Now if there were only
some sort of ointment
292
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,141
for failing as a parent.
293
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,827
I don't know if you
failed as a parent.
294
00:12:59,895 --> 00:13:02,764
You got, like, a c-minus maybe.
295
00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,031
Which, in my house,
was good enough
296
00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,401
to earn you a trip to carvel.
297
00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:07,535
Anyway, you know what, I
think you should come home,
298
00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:08,836
sit down with Carrie,
you talk this out.
299
00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:09,938
Damn it, Douglas,
300
00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:12,173
talking won't fix what
I've done to her.
301
00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:13,874
The lost friends,
the broken dreams,
302
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,576
that job today. You heard her,
303
00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:17,678
I can't fix it unless
I go back in time.
304
00:13:17,746 --> 00:13:19,514
And unless you're
incredibly wealthy,
305
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,849
that's impossible.
306
00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:23,751
I know, but you gotta come home.
307
00:13:23,819 --> 00:13:25,119
I will not come home again!
308
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:28,156
This is my home now!
309
00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,974
No, no, no, no. He
cannot live here.
310
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,944
I already am not supposed
to have the cat.
311
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,312
All right, you know what, I
think I got an idea here, ok?
312
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,213
Hey, Arthur, you know what,
313
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:37,665
I think I may have figured a way
314
00:13:37,732 --> 00:13:38,967
you can go back in time
315
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:41,002
and actually fix
what happened today.
316
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,603
How?
317
00:13:42,671 --> 00:13:44,172
Just call the guy down
at the Dugan group
318
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,907
and apologize for messing
up Carrie's interview.
319
00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:48,176
And, you know, maybe
he'll change his mind
320
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,710
and hire her after all.
321
00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:51,078
You really think that will work?
322
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:52,080
You never know unless you try.
323
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,598
Ok, we'll give you some privacy.
324
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,649
Yeah, ok?
325
00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,017
What's this man's name again?
326
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,787
Uh, it's, uh... Lance.
327
00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,323
Uh... Bossington.
328
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,424
Got it!
329
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:09,380
Yes, may I speak with
Lance Bossington, please?
330
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,232
Mr. Bossington?
331
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:12,967
Please hold the line, sir.
332
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:17,355
Bossington here.
333
00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:19,991
Yes, I do remember you, Mr.
Spooner.
334
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,492
As I recall, you
and your daughter
335
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,561
made quite a ruckus here.
336
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:24,996
Mm-hmm.
337
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,548
So, what happened today was
entirely my fault, sir.
338
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,285
I truly wish you would
reconsider your decision.
339
00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:32,686
You will?
340
00:14:32,754 --> 00:14:33,704
Of course I will.
341
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,676
You're a very persuasive man, Mr.
Spooner.
342
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,927
Why, it's almost as if
you've gone back in time
343
00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:43,064
and made things right.
Remarkable!
344
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,416
Shut your trap out here!
345
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,717
Uh, look...
346
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,136
I've got to run into a big
real estate meeting now.
347
00:14:49,204 --> 00:14:52,974
I'm trading in 4
houses for a hotel.
348
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,074
Good-bye.
349
00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:55,493
Nice.
350
00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:59,781
Any luck? It worked!
351
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:01,816
Wow. Carrie's gonna be
happy to hear that, huh?
352
00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:03,184
Good job, Artie.
353
00:15:03,251 --> 00:15:06,054
It actually is possible
to fix the past.
354
00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:07,187
You proved that. Didn't he?
355
00:15:07,255 --> 00:15:09,456
Mm-hmm. Here's your jacket.
356
00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,225
Oh, no. I can't go home yet.
357
00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:13,110
I've got many more
calls to make,
358
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,312
many more wrongs to right.
359
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,231
Arthur, you got Carrie the job.
That's enough!
360
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:18,466
It's not enough. I won't leave
361
00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:19,800
until I've fixed everything.
362
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:22,670
Because now I know I can!
363
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,390
Ok.
364
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,325
Now, each of the numbers
we gave to Arthur
365
00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,327
corresponds to one of
these cell phones.
366
00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:32,292
Like, when this one
rings, for example,
367
00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:34,165
Arthur's gonna think
he's calling the woman
368
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,367
who was Carrie's elementary
school principal,
369
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,902
but, in fact, it'll
actually be you.
370
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,104
Ok, now, like when
this one rings here,
371
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,105
he thinks he's gonna be calling.
372
00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:42,640
Carrie's high school boyfriend.
373
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,892
That'll be me. And so on.
374
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,711
So, I'll be all the women,
375
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,613
and you'll be all the men?
376
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,316
I think that's best.
377
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,671
You're up. Ok, make me proud,
378
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,939
miss hanratty.
379
00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,324
So what you're saying is,
380
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:04,145
that Carrie actually knew
how to spell vestibule.
381
00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:06,681
Yes, she spelled it for
me on a regular basis.
382
00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,149
If I hadn't shouted it out,
383
00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,917
she would have won for sure.
384
00:16:09,985 --> 00:16:12,219
Well, in that case, I should
go back into the records
385
00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:14,822
and make her the
winner, shouldn't I?
386
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,091
That would be marvelous!
387
00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:19,160
Of course I forgive you.
388
00:16:19,227 --> 00:16:20,428
In fact, the next time
389
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:22,697
we do the seventh grade
production of swan lake,
390
00:16:22,765 --> 00:16:26,000
I know who our special guest
ballerina's gonna be.
391
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:28,770
Carrie Spooner!
392
00:16:31,072 --> 00:16:32,607
Sure, Mr. s.,
393
00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:34,575
I accept your apology.
394
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,644
Carrie is once again
my favorite girlfriend
395
00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:38,445
from all of high school.
396
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:40,648
You're a prince, Peter.
397
00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:42,633
You've actually made
me feel quite foolish
398
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:45,169
for cutting short your
romance with my daughter.
399
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:48,439
Well, I'm sure she did
pretty well for herself.
400
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,025
Oh, yes, she's married
to a very nice fellow.
401
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,628
Though, frankly, he is
a bit of a simpleton.
402
00:16:53,696 --> 00:16:55,463
And I get the
distinct impression
403
00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:56,598
that in the bedroom,
404
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:59,801
he's skittish, clumsy,
and tentative.
405
00:16:59,869 --> 00:17:02,003
Top that off with his
atrocious health habits,
406
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,605
and it's quite a
mess over there.
407
00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:05,006
Hang in there, Peter.
408
00:17:05,073 --> 00:17:07,008
You may just get another chance!
409
00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:10,628
How'd that go?
410
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,930
It was good. It's fine, fine.
411
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,665
All right, Mr. Spooners.
412
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,100
I appreciate you coming clean
413
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:17,468
on that 11th item.
414
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,705
Carrie's welcome back in
my express line whenevers.
415
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,610
A little racist,
but did the trick.
416
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,094
Ok, we got one more here.
Uh, let's see.
417
00:17:27,162 --> 00:17:30,197
Ok, Martin syznick.
418
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,215
Hey, listen, since the
last one is a man,
419
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,299
do you mind if I take off
420
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:33,601
and get ready for my party?
421
00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:34,935
You know what, you go ahead.
I'll handle the call,
422
00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:36,103
then I'll come pick up Arthur.
423
00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:39,540
Great, great. I'll leave
him on the stoop!
424
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,945
Hello?
425
00:17:45,013 --> 00:17:48,282
Yes, sir. I'm trying to
reach a Marilyn Syznick.
426
00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:51,118
Marilyn?
427
00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:52,986
Oh, my God. It does say Marilyn.
428
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,809
Yes, my sister Marilyn just
got out of the shower.
429
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,611
Please hold a second.
430
00:18:03,381 --> 00:18:04,649
Hey, look, I need
your help, all right?
431
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:05,783
It's your father.
432
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,001
Oh, good, ok.
433
00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:08,720
Tell him to go to hell.
434
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,137
What?
435
00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:11,455
I was out walking,
and it just hit me.
436
00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:13,124
He did it again. He screwed up,
437
00:18:13,191 --> 00:18:14,726
and now I'm the one
feeling guilty?
438
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:15,827
Well, enough. I
don't give a crap
439
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:17,662
if he comes back or not.
440
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,199
Could you just hold on
one more second, please?
441
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,084
Why are you talking like that?
442
00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:25,519
Here's the deal, ok?
443
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:27,821
He refuses to come home
here until he can undo
444
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,357
all the bad stuff he did to you.
445
00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:30,407
So what's he's
doing, he's calling
446
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,076
all the people he
offended to apologize,
447
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:32,877
or at least he thinks he is.
448
00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:34,128
He's actually talking
to me and Holly
449
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,330
pretending to be them.
450
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,583
What?
451
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:42,020
Look, this is the last call,
and it's been working.
452
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,721
Just pretend to be
Marilyn Syznick,
453
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,873
accept his apology, and
this'll all be over.
454
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,308
No, I don't want to talk to him.
455
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,742
One more second.
456
00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:51,312
She's just slipping
into her robe.
457
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,446
Come on, do it. Just do it.
458
00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:54,148
Just do it!
459
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,151
Disguise your voice.
460
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,521
Hello?
461
00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:03,157
Is this Marilyn Syznick?
462
00:19:03,224 --> 00:19:04,525
Uh-huh.
463
00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:06,627
It's Arthur Spooner calling.
464
00:19:06,694 --> 00:19:09,397
Years ago, my daughter was
in your brownie troop.
465
00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,198
That is, until I
angrily accused you
466
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,533
of favoring the Polish children
467
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:14,067
in the assignment
of merit badges.
468
00:19:14,135 --> 00:19:15,068
Do you recall?
469
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,537
Mm-hmm.
470
00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:18,840
Anyway, I'm calling to apologize
471
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,374
and ask if you'd be kind enough
472
00:19:20,442 --> 00:19:22,343
to send along any
patches or certificates
473
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,278
she may have lost on my account.
474
00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:28,149
Oh, yes. Well, that's fine, yes.
475
00:19:28,216 --> 00:19:30,785
Oh, thank you so much.
476
00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:33,021
I know this must
seem strange to you,
477
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,722
given that Carrie's
a grown woman now,
478
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:38,693
but in my heart she'll
always be my little baby.
479
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:39,927
Why, I can still remember
480
00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:41,428
when she was not even a year old
481
00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:44,465
and came down with a
terrible case of the croup.
482
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,101
The only think that
eased her coughing fits
483
00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,569
was when I walked
with her in my arms
484
00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:51,039
through the cold night air.
485
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,374
I must've walked
10 Miles with her
486
00:19:53,441 --> 00:19:56,410
every night for a week.
487
00:19:56,478 --> 00:19:59,047
Wow.
488
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,615
Oh, I would've walked
1,000 Miles if I had to.
489
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,751
It's ironic. I tried so hard
490
00:20:03,819 --> 00:20:05,119
to protect that beautiful child,
491
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:08,056
and today I find
out that it was me
492
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,692
who hurt her most of all.
493
00:20:10,759 --> 00:20:13,895
It rips my heart out.
494
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,063
The worst part is
495
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:17,264
I don't know if she'll
ever forgive me.
496
00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:25,506
She will.
497
00:20:25,574 --> 00:20:28,776
You're very kind to
say that, Marilyn.
498
00:20:28,844 --> 00:20:31,445
And, if I'm remembering
correctly,
499
00:20:31,513 --> 00:20:35,783
you're also quite
well-endowed upstairs.
500
00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:37,451
Can I buy you dinner?
501
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:38,686
Eww. No!
502
00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:41,956
Oh, come on, don't be coy.
503
00:20:42,024 --> 00:20:43,490
The way you'd undo a button
504
00:20:43,558 --> 00:20:45,292
on your troop leader's
vest when I came in,
505
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,328
you don't think I noticed that?
506
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:50,397
What? Get over yourself!
507
00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:51,582
Tease.
508
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,694
Hey.
509
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,396
Oh, hi.
510
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,165
How you doing?
511
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:10,535
I guess I'm still a little sad.
512
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,670
This whole thing with
my dad, you know?
513
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,055
Why? It's over.
514
00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,991
He's back. Everything's fine.
515
00:21:16,058 --> 00:21:17,308
I know. It's just that,
516
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,377
when something like this happens
517
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,579
and you're forced to bring up
518
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:23,514
all those dark and
buried feelings,
519
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:27,452
it just leaves you kind of
empty inside, you know?
520
00:21:32,775 --> 00:21:35,627
Ooh! The Bachelorette.
36540
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