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1
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:06,805
Hey, do you know where
the scissors are?
2
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:15,781
Doug, we have lived in this
house for 9 years, ok?
3
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,150
The scissors have always
been in the same place,
4
00:00:19,218 --> 00:00:23,622
and yet you continue to
ask me where they are.
5
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,157
Not to mention the spatula,
6
00:00:26,225 --> 00:00:28,544
the pot holders, the pens.
7
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,045
Well, I'll tell you
something, honey.
8
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,965
I have been a tour guide in
my own kitchen long enough.
9
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,835
Too many precious moments
have been wasted
10
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:38,319
showing you where things are!
11
00:00:38,387 --> 00:00:40,756
Just learn! Learn!
12
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,490
I mean, what if I died?
13
00:00:42,558 --> 00:00:44,459
How would you flip a pancake?
14
00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:47,495
How would you. - how would you
ever cut anything ever again?
15
00:00:47,563 --> 00:00:50,165
Would you just sit here weeping
16
00:00:50,232 --> 00:00:53,501
and soiling yourself until
somebody came in to help you?
17
00:00:53,569 --> 00:00:55,503
No, you wouldn't. You would...
18
00:00:55,571 --> 00:00:59,191
Remember where something is.
19
00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,226
Yeah. So come on, honey. Please.
20
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,394
Just this once.
21
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,063
Find where the scissors are.
22
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,531
Find 'em. Go ahead, baby.
23
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,932
Go get 'em.
24
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,018
Go ahead.
25
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,065
I got 'em. You got 'em.
26
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,467
You got 'em. Now,
was that so hard?
27
00:01:26,535 --> 00:01:27,720
Not really, no. Ok.
28
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:35,977
What do you need now?
29
00:01:36,045 --> 00:01:38,880
Tape.
30
00:02:15,085 --> 00:02:17,069
Well, hey, Major,
whatcha got there?
31
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,289
I made you a Valentine,
Aunt Carrie.
32
00:02:19,314 --> 00:02:22,224
Oh, that is so sweet...
33
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:25,160
And out of my jury summons.
34
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,497
Ok. I will put it right here
35
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:33,268
next to my snowflake
mortgage payment.
36
00:02:33,336 --> 00:02:34,703
What's that?
37
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,538
This is coffee, baby.
38
00:02:36,606 --> 00:02:38,507
I want some. Coffee! Coffee!
39
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,376
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, baby.
40
00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:41,943
No, no, no. This is
a grown-up drink,
41
00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:43,279
just like the big
vodka I'm gonna have
42
00:02:43,346 --> 00:02:45,981
after your parents pick you up.
43
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:53,105
Doug. He has my lipstick again.
44
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,856
I told you to hide those.
45
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,594
I do, but he finds them.
46
00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:02,097
Hey, whatcha-whatcha
got there, kirb?
47
00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:05,200
Apricot shimmer.
48
00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,816
Ok.
49
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:08,059
Do you think it's pretty?
50
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,855
I think it's, uh,
51
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,774
pretty great as a missile
52
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,041
on our battleship.
53
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:14,026
Look at that. Fire one!
54
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,547
Blood, guts, death.
55
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,616
Man things.
56
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,619
Hey, y'all. Hey.
57
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:24,920
Boys behave themselves?
58
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:25,838
Oh, yeah. They were fine.
59
00:03:25,989 --> 00:03:27,423
Bubblegum went right
into the carpet.
60
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,624
Anyway, it's ok.
61
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:32,595
He didn't try to put on
lipstick again, did he?
62
00:03:32,662 --> 00:03:36,114
In his defense, it is pretty.
63
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:38,767
Listen, we really appreciate
64
00:03:38,835 --> 00:03:40,586
you guys taking the boys again.
65
00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:41,587
Yeah, I'll tell you.
66
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,721
Having some alone
time once a week
67
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,756
has been huge for me and Kel.
68
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:45,941
Oh, please. We're
happy to help out.
69
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,042
Yeah, plus, once a week,
70
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:48,193
we get to be the kind of family
71
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,346
that you usually only see on TV.
72
00:03:51,414 --> 00:03:53,398
Do that thing I taught you.
73
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:56,301
What you talking about, Douglas?
74
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,919
The kid's a machine.
75
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,388
We really owe you guys. Yeah.
76
00:04:00,456 --> 00:04:02,841
Darling, I need to borrow
some bronzing cream,
77
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,545
an overnight bag, and
a Major credit card.
78
00:04:07,763 --> 00:04:09,064
What for, dad?
79
00:04:09,131 --> 00:04:12,534
That's my personal business!
80
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:15,537
Ok. You want to help us out?
81
00:04:15,605 --> 00:04:18,006
Take that guy off our
hands once in a while.
82
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,109
Got to throw you a big
fat "no" on that one.
83
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,379
Thanks again, you guys.
84
00:04:23,446 --> 00:04:25,447
Bye!
85
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,783
Night. Bye-bye.
86
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,445
What are you doing?
87
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:41,613
Apparently, somebody didn't
like his macaroni and cheese,
88
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,582
so he hid it in the change jar.
89
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,169
Actually, I think that was your dad.
I saw him in that area.
90
00:04:47,236 --> 00:04:49,370
Oy.
91
00:04:49,438 --> 00:04:51,206
Uh, speaking of your dad,
92
00:04:51,273 --> 00:04:53,875
I was thinking about what you
said before to Deacon and Kelly.
93
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,443
What?
94
00:04:55,511 --> 00:04:59,514
That thing about maybe them taking
him off our hands once in a while.
95
00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:00,749
I was kidding.
96
00:05:00,817 --> 00:05:02,483
I know you were kidding, but...
97
00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:03,719
Think about it for a second.
98
00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:06,054
I mean, we watch Kirby and
Major all the time, right?
99
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:07,222
They're children.
100
00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:08,690
So? We don't have any children.
101
00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:12,393
We have a crazy old man.
102
00:05:12,461 --> 00:05:14,095
I mean, why does society
103
00:05:14,163 --> 00:05:16,364
say that baby-sitting is normal,
104
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:19,635
but old-people-sitting,
that's taboo?
105
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:21,452
Huh.
106
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,453
See what I'm saying?
107
00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,189
I never thought of
it that way before,
108
00:05:24,256 --> 00:05:27,125
but you may be on to
something here, butch.
109
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,860
Thank you.
110
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:32,531
I mean, how different is my
father from a child, anyway?
111
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:33,966
I mean, he acts out.
112
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,968
He screams when he
doesn't get his way.
113
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,687
When it thunders, he
climbs into bed with us.
114
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,788
You know something?
115
00:05:39,855 --> 00:05:41,523
We deserve some alone time
116
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,792
just as much as
Deacon and Kelly.
117
00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:45,527
Our marriage isn't
perfect, either.
118
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,930
Far from it.
119
00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:49,197
I mean, sometimes I wake up
120
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,233
and I just wanna
run away from you.
121
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,520
I feel the same way!
122
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:58,173
Of course you do!
123
00:05:58,241 --> 00:05:59,074
And you know what?
It's not just about
124
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,892
us baby-sitting Major and Kirby.
125
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,194
I mean, what about all
the other things?
126
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,645
The-the birthday parties
127
00:06:03,713 --> 00:06:06,364
and all the school plays
we had to suffer through.
128
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:07,199
Meanwhile, have Deacon and Kelly
129
00:06:07,316 --> 00:06:09,618
ever been to one of
Arthur's things?
130
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:10,536
No!
131
00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:12,721
When he got his
swimming certificate-
132
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,758
and how about when he was in that
senior center production of cats?
133
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:18,326
Where were they? Too busy.
134
00:06:18,394 --> 00:06:20,662
Ooh, that was rough.
135
00:06:20,729 --> 00:06:24,632
Remember when that one cat
broke her hip during memories?
136
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:29,722
Ok. The point is we
present Deacon and Kelly
137
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:33,192
with a very reasonable request,
and what do we get back?
138
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,461
Gotta throw you a big
fat "no" on that one.
139
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,746
Yeah! I'll tell you one thing.
140
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,048
This is happening, friend.
141
00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,749
Oh, I know it's happening.
142
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:44,386
You don't have to tell me
it's happening, friend!
143
00:06:44,453 --> 00:06:47,456
We're not mad at each
other here, right?
144
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:48,640
No. Good.
145
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,759
'Cause I got a little
lost there for a second.
146
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,116
Ok. They just pulled up.
147
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,368
Ok. It's showtime.
148
00:06:59,435 --> 00:07:01,436
Dad? Could you come
up here for a minute?
149
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,372
All right, kids. Come on.
Parents are here.
150
00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,891
Doug, help them get packed up.
Ok. You know what, kirb?
151
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:10,595
Why don't you get g.I. Joe out of
that blouse and back into his khakis?
152
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,247
Time for dinner?
153
00:07:12,314 --> 00:07:13,381
Uh, not exactly.
154
00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:15,717
It's just you haven't
fed me since breakfast,
155
00:07:15,784 --> 00:07:18,586
and I'm starting to
hear a low-pitched hum.
156
00:07:18,654 --> 00:07:20,638
You will be eating in no time.
157
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:26,328
Hey. How you doing?
158
00:07:26,396 --> 00:07:27,179
How was your afternoon?
159
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,597
You get some good alone time in?
160
00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:29,631
It was great. We
spent the whole day
161
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,232
at the modern museum of art.
162
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,519
Ouch.
163
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,420
So, uh, where you headed now?
164
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,605
We're gonna take the kids
to this new Italian place.
165
00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:40,258
Oh, you know, that's right.
Kirby mentioned that.
166
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,459
You know who loves Italian food?
167
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,495
Arthur, you love Italian
food, don't you?
168
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,080
I'd eat anything at this point.
169
00:07:45,147 --> 00:07:48,416
Just end this experiment.
170
00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:50,134
Hey! Crazy idea.
171
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,720
You love Italian food.
172
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:53,722
You're going to an
Italian restaurant.
173
00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:56,124
Maybe Deacon and Kelly
can give you a lift.
174
00:07:56,192 --> 00:07:57,876
Heck. While you're there,
175
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,244
why don't you guys
just sit together,
176
00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:00,946
ok? Would ya, could ya?
177
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,805
What- what can I say?
178
00:08:09,872 --> 00:08:11,423
Sounds like a thumbs up to me.
179
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,558
Ok. Well, have a good time.
180
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,993
Here you go. Glad
this worked out.
181
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,995
Go on, dad. Have a good time.
182
00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:19,230
Go ahead. Skedoodle.
183
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,298
And you behave yourself.
184
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,450
I want a good report on you.
185
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,151
Ha ha ha.
186
00:08:23,218 --> 00:08:24,803
Oh, Kel, one second.
187
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,588
Here are his pills and
his doctor's number
188
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:28,123
and a list of foods
he can't eat.
189
00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:30,392
Don't let him order
anything spicy.
190
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:31,993
Thanks.
191
00:08:39,068 --> 00:08:41,069
Ok. Tub's ready.
192
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:42,337
Sweet.
193
00:08:42,405 --> 00:08:44,489
We got the house to ourselves.
194
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,358
Time to get a little clean...
195
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,843
And a little dirty.
196
00:08:48,911 --> 00:08:52,046
So, uh, who should,
uh, get in first?
197
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:55,283
Um, I'm thinking you.
198
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:56,968
All right.
199
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:10,132
All right. Come on in.
200
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,933
Well, all righty.
201
00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:16,755
Ok. This is nice.
202
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,174
Yeah.
203
00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:22,910
All right. Let's get
down to business.
204
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:26,831
Wait wait. Wait. You gotta-
205
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,416
watch your knee, honey.
206
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,552
Ok. Sorry.
207
00:09:34,123 --> 00:09:37,359
That's the hot water!
Turn it off!
208
00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:38,593
Would you hurry up?!
209
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,379
Ok! I'm not used to using
my foot as a hand!
210
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:42,981
That's the wrong way!
211
00:09:43,048 --> 00:09:44,549
I know that now!
212
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,135
It's scalding me!
213
00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:49,053
Save yourself!
214
00:09:58,548 --> 00:10:01,049
So, after we eat, what's on tap?
215
00:10:01,116 --> 00:10:03,067
A jazz club?
216
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,837
Amateur night at the Apollo?
217
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,342
Again, miniature golf.
218
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,843
Wonderful.
219
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:12,995
I think we're ready to order.
220
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:15,563
Ok. What can I get you folks?
221
00:10:15,631 --> 00:10:16,798
The boys will have ravioli,
222
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,267
and I would love a house salad
223
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:19,434
and a spinach lasagna.
224
00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:22,104
Same for me. How
about you, Arthur?
225
00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:27,275
I think I'll try the spicy
sausage with peppers.
226
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:29,111
Uh, Arthur...
227
00:10:29,178 --> 00:10:30,578
What's the matter?
228
00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:32,997
Well, Carrie said he's not
supposed to have anything spicy.
229
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,849
Oh. Hey, why don't you
order something else?
230
00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:36,384
Very well.
231
00:10:36,452 --> 00:10:38,420
I will have...
232
00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:41,689
The spicy sausage with peppers.
233
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,943
Arthur.
234
00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:48,180
Well, it was worth a try.
235
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,447
Seriously, uh,
236
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,117
bring me the spicy sausage
with peppers, will you?
237
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,069
Would you stop?
238
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:55,103
I'm a grown man!
239
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:56,304
Why can't I have what I want?
240
00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:57,305
Because you can't!
241
00:10:57,372 --> 00:10:58,640
You know, instead
of giving me grief,
242
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:00,008
I would think you
would be more upset
243
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:04,278
about why we have been
seated next to the kitchen!
244
00:11:04,346 --> 00:11:06,798
Is it because we're black?!
245
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,022
Just get what you want.
246
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,125
Thank you.
247
00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:22,863
How's the spicy
sausage with peppers?
248
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:40,215
How's his stomach... Et cetera?
249
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,887
I can't believe they let
him have spicy food.
250
00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:50,041
Are you ok?
251
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:52,243
Talk to me, baby.
252
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,579
Carrie, I saw things down there
253
00:11:54,646 --> 00:11:56,281
that no man should ever see.
254
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,351
I know. I know. You just gotta
put it out of your mind.
255
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:02,086
I can't.
256
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:04,038
Can I have some more
milk of magnesia?
257
00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:06,107
I'm starting to percolate again.
258
00:12:07,876 --> 00:12:09,210
Bringing it right down, dad.
259
00:12:09,254 --> 00:12:10,578
No!
260
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:13,748
I will not let my daughter
see me like this.
261
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,817
Send Douglas.
262
00:12:20,389 --> 00:12:22,141
Hey, come on in.
263
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,143
Hey. I know it's
pretty short notice
264
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,644
to dump the kids on you again,
265
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,047
but these Beyonce tickets
just fell into our lap.
266
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,882
Nothing like a Beyonce concert
267
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,516
to keep a marriage strong.
268
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:35,237
We do the same thing with
monster truck rallies.
269
00:12:35,305 --> 00:12:37,306
Hey, thanks for taking
my dad off our hands
270
00:12:37,374 --> 00:12:38,974
on Saturday night.
271
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,943
Oh, don't be silly. We had a great time.
Right, babe?
272
00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:43,746
He's something.
273
00:12:43,814 --> 00:12:46,014
Yeah, the only thing is, and
maybe you guys just forgot,
274
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:48,684
uh, but you let him
have spicy food,
275
00:12:48,752 --> 00:12:51,086
and, well, we were up
with him all night.
276
00:12:51,154 --> 00:12:52,471
Yeah. Um...
277
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,938
We told him that he
couldn't have it,
278
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:57,776
and, you know, he made a big
scene and started yelling, so-
279
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,562
so... you just let him yell.
280
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:04,433
Didn't really wanna do that
in a crowded restaurant.
281
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:07,319
And I could understand
that, kell,
282
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,921
um, I do.
283
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,891
But it's just that
when Major and Kirby
284
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:15,327
are yelling for stuff,
which they do a lot,
285
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,946
um, we can also just
forget the rules
286
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:22,784
and say, "sure, you can use
that drill to play dentist,"
287
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:24,886
but we don't.
288
00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:25,771
You know what?
289
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,056
Next time he yells,
290
00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:28,540
just give him a piece of Taffy.
291
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,709
That'll buy you 45 minutes.
292
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:36,981
Next time?
293
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:39,000
Yeah. We're taking
your kids this time,
294
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,869
next time, you take Arthur.
295
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:43,756
Right.
296
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,041
It is right.
297
00:13:47,943 --> 00:13:48,777
You know what? We
should probably go
298
00:13:48,845 --> 00:13:50,028
if we're gonna make
that show, so-
299
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,063
ok.
300
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,064
You two take it easy.
301
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,164
We'll see you in a few hours.
302
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,633
Be good.
303
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,401
All right, I'm gonna
get the burgers going,
304
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,236
and you guys just
pick out a video, ok?
305
00:13:58,304 --> 00:13:59,370
Ok. Ok.
306
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,357
Did you catch the attitude
coming from them?
307
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,358
Hard to miss.
308
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,626
You know what I think?
309
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,794
I don't think they
just let my dad
310
00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:07,546
have spicy food because
he was yelling.
311
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,481
They wanted him to have it.
312
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,850
They figured they'd
make it so tough on us
313
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,252
that we wouldn't ask them
to take Arthur again.
314
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,505
Right! And meanwhile, we're
so good with their kids.
315
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:18,123
We're freakin' great.
316
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,009
Aunt Carrie? What is it now?
317
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,711
Can I have some mayonnaise
on my hamburger?
318
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,746
Yes, you can have mayonnaise
on your hamburger.
319
00:14:24,814 --> 00:14:26,031
Can we have coffee, too?
320
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,366
No, sweetie.
Remember I told you-
321
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:31,736
coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee!
322
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:40,045
Ok. Go get me your sippy cups.
Hurry up.
323
00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:51,440
All right! All right.
324
00:14:51,507 --> 00:14:52,441
Settle down.
325
00:14:52,508 --> 00:14:54,443
What is it with you guys?
326
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,245
Aunt Carrie gave us coffee.
327
00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:01,049
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee!
328
00:15:04,253 --> 00:15:05,788
Here you go.
329
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,477
What does "caliente" mean?
330
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,864
It means "delicious."
331
00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:17,532
Hmm.
332
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,937
"And then, eyes
widening in horror,
333
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:24,072
"he saw the word redrum
334
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,674
"reflecting dimly
from the glass dome
335
00:15:26,742 --> 00:15:28,443
"now reflected twice.
336
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,779
"And he saw that
it spelled murder.
337
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,548
Danny torrance screamed
in wretched terror."
338
00:15:33,616 --> 00:15:35,183
Aah!
339
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,955
Look what they bought
me at radio shack!
340
00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:55,604
Are we gonna do
anything tonight?
341
00:15:55,672 --> 00:15:57,272
Oh, yeah. We're
gonna do something.
342
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,274
Just don't know what yet, babe.
343
00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:04,813
But it will be good.
344
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,383
All right. So, what do you got?
345
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:10,118
Wanna do the coffee thing again?
346
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:13,488
Ok. That is so 2 weeks ago.
347
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:17,443
Douglas! Did you borrow
my argyle socks?
348
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,899
No.
349
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:27,836
Your feet are 8 sizes
bigger than mine.
350
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,054
I can't believe they
bought him a megaphone.
351
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,757
Well, when we sent them
home with that ferret,
352
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,561
we knew they'd come
back at us pretty hard.
353
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,830
Oh, man. This thing's
getting crazy.
354
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,832
Maybe we should just
be the bigger couple
355
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,084
and stop asking them
to take Arthur.
356
00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:44,319
What?!
357
00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:46,889
And give up our alone time?
358
00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:49,241
Honey, are you really
enjoying it that much?
359
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,194
It is what it is, you know,
360
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,162
but that's not the point!
361
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,181
Ok? There is a principle here.
362
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,034
We can't just give up
when we know we're right.
363
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,903
Update on the socks.
364
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:04,673
They were in the dryer
the whole time.
365
00:17:04,741 --> 00:17:06,357
All right, if we're
gonna keep doing this,
366
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:08,326
then we gotta go for
a knockout punch.
367
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,745
Ok? Something they
can't get up from.
368
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:11,546
Ok.
369
00:17:24,493 --> 00:17:26,127
I'll get it.
370
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:31,532
Hey! How's it going?
371
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,485
We're here for our children.
372
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,569
Hi, mom. Hi, dad.
373
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,071
Hi, baby.
374
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,189
Hey, bud. How you doin'?
375
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:40,992
You doin' all right?
Cool. All right.
376
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,378
Um... where's your brother?
377
00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:46,080
I don't know. Kirby? I think
he scampered upstairs.
378
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,949
We haven't seen him in a while.
379
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:50,802
Kirby? Kirby?
380
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,738
Kirby?! Kirby!
381
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,423
Check the bedroom!
382
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,459
Right by the makeup.
383
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:02,381
Oh, my God! He looks
like Liza minelli!
384
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,985
I think we all know
why we're here.
385
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,904
I think we do.
386
00:18:08,972 --> 00:18:10,155
This whole thing has
gotten way out of hand,
387
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,190
and it's hurting the
people we love.
388
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:24,720
Well, look, we didn't
mean to hurt anybody,
389
00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:26,288
but you guys started it
390
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,390
when you gave my dad spicy food.
391
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:31,426
And you ended it by giving
my kid an extreme makeover.
392
00:18:32,662 --> 00:18:34,713
The point is you're
the kids' godparents
393
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,014
and they love spending
time with you,
394
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,382
so we wanna work this out.
395
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,250
We wanna work it out, too,
396
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,235
but it has to work
out for all of us.
397
00:18:40,303 --> 00:18:41,102
I agree.
398
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:42,454
So we have come up
399
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,057
with what we think is a
very reasonable proposal.
400
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,342
Lay it on us.
401
00:18:47,409 --> 00:18:48,643
You keep taking the kids,
402
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,144
we stop taking Arthur,
403
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,580
but... when the
four of us go out,
404
00:18:52,648 --> 00:18:55,000
we pick up 2 out
of every 3 checks.
405
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,003
And that beanbag chair in
our place that Doug likes,
406
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,638
it's all yours.
407
00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:07,495
That chair was leaking
beans last time I saw it.
408
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,380
I'll patch it up.
409
00:19:12,802 --> 00:19:16,171
No. This has to be about
you taking Arthur.
410
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,540
Yeah, and just as much
as we take the kids.
411
00:19:18,608 --> 00:19:20,258
That's ridiculous.
412
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,360
Ridiculous?
413
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,827
You guys have a good evening.
414
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,230
Wait. Take it easy. Take it easy.
Come on.
415
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,765
Sit down.
416
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,871
All right, we'll take Arthur,
417
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:34,273
but it can't be as much
as you take the kids.
418
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,840
It's just too weird.
419
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,926
Well, how often? How
many times a month?
420
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:48,954
Ok.
421
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,356
Oh, come on. It was
just an opening figure.
422
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,158
It's a one with a question Mark.
423
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,377
All right.
424
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,145
Maybe we can take him
2 or 3 times a month,
425
00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,780
but he's just so crazy.
426
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:00,882
I don't know why he's so
crazy when you get him.
427
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,918
He does take his blue
pill at 6:00 every day.
428
00:20:03,986 --> 00:20:04,636
Well, it ain't doin' the job.
429
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,988
Ok, look. How about this?
430
00:20:06,055 --> 00:20:07,055
If we take him, you
gotta give him
431
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,557
more than one pill.
432
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,342
Well, how many more
are we talking here?
433
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,070
That many? That'll kill him!
434
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,773
We don't know that.
435
00:20:27,343 --> 00:20:30,012
How about we bump it up to 2?
436
00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:32,747
And a shot of cough syrup.
437
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,649
Done.
438
00:20:34,717 --> 00:20:36,201
So we're back in the
best friends business?
439
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:37,369
I think so.
440
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,603
I'm glad we got this over with,
441
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:39,904
'cause you two fight ghetto.
442
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,606
You started with the-
443
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,542
just so you know,
444
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,811
we are very aware you're
talking about us,
445
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,512
and we don't appreciate it.
446
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,197
To show my displeasure,
447
00:20:49,265 --> 00:20:51,883
I've polished off a full platter
448
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,853
of the spicy garlic shrimp.
449
00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:59,874
You've got 12 minutes.
450
00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:15,740
Hey, you guys. Hey, honey,
Doug and Carrie are here.
451
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,824
How was the movie?
452
00:21:16,849 --> 00:21:19,811
Great. How'd things go with my dad?
Oh, great.
453
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,063
Here's the little fella.
454
00:21:23,785 --> 00:21:25,703
He fell asleep during Scarface.
455
00:21:25,728 --> 00:21:27,179
Aw.
456
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:30,640
Ok. We'll just put him in his
pajamas when we get home.
31652
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