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1
00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:35,884
Wow. I don't know who
this brown Betty is,
2
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,787
but she knows her way
around an apple.
3
00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:40,055
Can I have a bite?
4
00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:45,894
Oh, my God.
5
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,630
I'll get it for you.
6
00:00:51,401 --> 00:00:54,603
Mmm! Mmm, that's good!
7
00:00:54,671 --> 00:00:55,871
How great is this place?
8
00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:57,239
The greatest! Off the hook,
9
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,723
as the kids like to say.
10
00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:01,143
I mean, the ambience, the view.
11
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:02,912
I mean, look at the sun
going down over that bluff.
12
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,680
And you know, I've
never been a big fan
13
00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,799
of the "sunset," but
that's pretty great.
14
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,635
How lucky were we just to
stumble onto this spot?
15
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,555
Thank God there was a shooting
at that waffle place.
16
00:01:19,429 --> 00:01:20,979
Huh.
17
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,280
That was weird.
18
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:23,465
What?
19
00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:25,000
I don't know. I-
20
00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,701
when I kissed you, my heart
was beating all fast,
21
00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:29,204
and-i don't know-
felt all warm inside.
22
00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:32,441
You think something was
wrong with the shrimp?
23
00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:34,559
No. Believe it or not,
24
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,494
I think it's love.
25
00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:39,448
Shut up! I'm serious!
26
00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,349
And I'm not just saying
it to get sex from you.
27
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:42,667
Really? Yeah.
28
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,052
I mean, if you started
doing stuff to me
29
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,654
under the table, I don't
think I'd stop you,
30
00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:47,822
but... it's not about that.
31
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,424
You know, I feel like
32
00:01:49,492 --> 00:01:52,361
I'm falling in love with
you all over again.
33
00:01:52,428 --> 00:01:53,778
In fact, if we weren't married,
34
00:01:53,846 --> 00:01:56,931
I'd be proposing to you
right here, right now.
35
00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:58,167
Oh!
36
00:01:58,234 --> 00:01:59,835
And you'd be looking
into my eyes saying,
37
00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:02,004
"give me a couple of
days to think about it."
38
00:02:02,071 --> 00:02:03,505
Stop!
39
00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:06,191
Hey, you know, I have an idea.
40
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,343
Eh, forget it. It's stupid.
41
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,945
What?
42
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,847
I was just thinking, you
know, maybe we should
43
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,181
renew our vows, you know?
44
00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:15,917
Have, like, a whole
ceremony here.
45
00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:17,385
On the bluff.
46
00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:18,904
I don't love it. You don't?
47
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:21,172
I super love it!
48
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,224
Really? How great
is this gonna be?
49
00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:25,527
We'll invite all our
friends, our family,
50
00:02:25,595 --> 00:02:28,430
we'll get it catered, we'll
have someone playing the flute.
51
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:29,731
Hey, I can finally
get my monkey.
52
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,686
What's that, baby?
53
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,037
Remember at our wedding,
I always wanted to have
54
00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:37,105
a monkey walk down the aisle
55
00:02:37,173 --> 00:02:39,140
and hand me the ring.
56
00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:41,660
Yeah. Yeah!
57
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,963
No reason you can't have
your monkey this time.
58
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:47,132
Sweet.
59
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:53,588
Darling, allow me
to hearken you back
60
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,791
to a bleak December day
61
00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:57,526
in the midst of world war ii
62
00:02:57,593 --> 00:03:00,429
when a young Arthur
Spooner saved the life
63
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:03,631
of a fellow soldier
named Rusty bubbico.
64
00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:06,234
Ok, is this a random hearkening,
65
00:03:06,302 --> 00:03:08,036
or are you going
somewhere with this?
66
00:03:08,103 --> 00:03:09,788
Ok, I'm going somewhere.
67
00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,473
Ok.
68
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:15,911
We visited the red light
district one night,
69
00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:20,015
and I fronted him
a prophylactic.
70
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,985
Gonorrhea was the flavor
of the month back then.
71
00:03:23,053 --> 00:03:25,204
So it's a love story.
72
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,489
Heh heh! It is now.
73
00:03:27,557 --> 00:03:29,424
He gave me a fine
bottle of port wine
74
00:03:29,492 --> 00:03:31,293
as his way of saying thanks.
75
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,028
I've been saving it
all these years,
76
00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:34,362
and I've decided to
give it to you two
77
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,398
on the day you renew your vows.
78
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:39,250
Oh! That's very generous.
Thank you, dad.
79
00:03:39,318 --> 00:03:41,135
My pleasure, darling.
80
00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,590
Ok, ma, well, it's 3
weeks from today,
81
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,825
so you better start
working on a flight out.
82
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:49,394
We will. Joe, we
should use our Miles.
83
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,996
I'm sure that weekend
will be blacked out.
84
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:52,297
They always black
out the weekends
85
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,132
we want to use the Miles.
86
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,867
We'll be there with
bells on, darling.
87
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,068
Like that yogurt place.
88
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:58,921
They stopped taking
those punch cards
89
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,738
just before I was due
for my free cone.
90
00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,140
It's all a scam.
91
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,142
Yeah, I'm sure that
the yogurt place
92
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,610
and the airlines are in cahoots.
93
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:06,812
Focus, ma. Ok?
94
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,013
You got your whole
life to talk to him.
95
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,165
Sorry, dear. Listen,
don't forget
96
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,400
to invite our friends
Smitty and Jules.
97
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:15,236
I don't even know who they are.
98
00:04:15,304 --> 00:04:16,972
You know Smitty and Jules.
99
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,423
Ok, not only don't I know them,
100
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,491
I don't even know
which one's the man
101
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,593
and which one's the woman.
102
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,846
I'll tell them to
expect an invitation.
103
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,296
Ok, fine, ma. All right,
I'll talk to you later.
104
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,832
I gotta go. Ok,
bye-bye, sweetheart.
105
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,834
All right, bye.
106
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:32,404
Now back to the important
stuff-finding us a monkey.
107
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,990
Monkey, monkey, monkey.
108
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:37,943
"Mirrors, money orders,
monograms, mufflers."
109
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,077
Where's "monkey"?
110
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,613
How does monkey not have,
like, 2 full pages?
111
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,417
Yeah, Doug, about the
whole monkey thing,
112
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,519
I was just thinking
that, you know,
113
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,255
maybe a vow renewal
monkey is a waste.
114
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:52,090
You know, maybe we should
save it for something
115
00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:53,291
a little bit more festive,
116
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,760
like a cinco de Mayo monkey.
117
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,895
You know, get him a sombrero,
118
00:04:56,962 --> 00:04:58,830
a little cap gun six-shooter.
119
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,466
You know-pow! You know?
120
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,502
Hmm. I don't know. I don't
know if I feel comfortable
121
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,703
degrading a monkey that way.
122
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:07,439
Let's-let's just
stick with the plan.
123
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,107
Ok.
124
00:05:16,866 --> 00:05:19,935
It's open.
125
00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:22,971
Arthur, you know you shouldn't
leave the door unlocked like that.
126
00:05:23,038 --> 00:05:26,608
I mean, any freak can just
walk in off the street.
127
00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:29,444
Oh, very funny.
128
00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:32,647
Um, I'm returning Carrie's
copy of the hours.
129
00:05:32,715 --> 00:05:35,818
Let her know I thought
it was haunting.
130
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:38,020
What have you got there?
131
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,855
A bottle of port I'm
giving to Doug and Carrie
132
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,224
for their vow renewal. It's
my little way of saying
133
00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:44,092
how special they are to me.
134
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,529
A dugahno novidade. This
thing's worth a bundle.
135
00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:49,297
Really? Oh, sure.
136
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,999
A member of my wine
enthusiasts club
137
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:53,601
bought one for over $1,200.
138
00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,470
Oh, my God! Yeah.
139
00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:58,740
You see, the reason it's so rare
140
00:05:58,808 --> 00:06:01,643
is that year there was an early
frost, so the grape harvest-
141
00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:04,913
message received, stubby.
142
00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:07,082
Why are you so
bent out of shape?
143
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,166
Don't you get it?
144
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,669
I promised to give this
to Douglas and Carrie.
145
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:14,005
Damn it. Why didn't I just
make them another birdhouse?
146
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:23,481
Wedding vow renewal, huh?
147
00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:25,249
What you plan on doing,
148
00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:27,952
you know, best man-wise?
149
00:06:28,019 --> 00:06:29,487
Is it gonna be Deacon again?
150
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,038
Because at your
wedding, you picked him
151
00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:33,223
and, you know, not me,
152
00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,525
and not that I really cared,
153
00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:38,129
but it was... weird.
154
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:41,415
Actually, you know what? I'm
not going with a best man.
155
00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:42,884
Uh, hello!
156
00:06:42,951 --> 00:06:44,218
Someone has to hand
you the wedding ring.
157
00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:45,285
It's tradition.
158
00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:48,155
Yeah. I'm having a
monkey do that.
159
00:06:48,223 --> 00:06:49,757
What?
160
00:06:49,824 --> 00:06:51,059
Yeah, I was gonna go
with a spider monkey,
161
00:06:51,126 --> 00:06:53,928
and then I decided you only
get married again once,
162
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,763
so I'm going with a chimp.
163
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,531
That's your Cadillac of monkeys.
164
00:06:57,599 --> 00:06:58,866
Wait a minute here. Hold on.
165
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:01,502
I lost out on being best man...
166
00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,053
To a monkey?
167
00:07:03,121 --> 00:07:04,955
Not by much.
168
00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:07,275
I can't believe this.
169
00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:08,193
How can I help you?
170
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,610
Oh, ok, uh, well,
171
00:07:09,677 --> 00:07:10,911
my wife and I, we're
renewing our vows,
172
00:07:10,979 --> 00:07:13,848
and we need to rent some
chairs and tables and stuff.
173
00:07:13,915 --> 00:07:15,416
Here's the date,
there's the time.
174
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,418
Now, do I need to leave
you a deposit or you-
175
00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:18,636
first things first.
176
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,238
What kind of chairs
did you want?
177
00:07:21,306 --> 00:07:23,157
Uh...
178
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,226
The kind you, uh,
179
00:07:25,294 --> 00:07:27,995
sit on.
180
00:07:28,063 --> 00:07:30,482
We offer 11 different styles.
181
00:07:30,549 --> 00:07:31,883
Flat back, arched, faux bamboo.
182
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,819
I'm obliged to also
mention bean bag chairs,
183
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,790
but I forbid you. Sit down
and I'll go get our catalog.
184
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:39,974
Ok.
185
00:07:43,312 --> 00:07:45,914
"The beastie boy"?
186
00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,515
Oh, that's my monkey guy.
187
00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:52,837
Hello. Hey! So we're
good to go on the 18th?
188
00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,473
What?
189
00:07:56,541 --> 00:07:58,776
Ohh. Can't fleischman Toyota
190
00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:01,378
have their "going bananas"
sale without him?
191
00:08:02,764 --> 00:08:05,166
Ok, fine. Um, so
I guess we'll go
192
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:08,402
with that spider monkey.
193
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:11,339
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
194
00:08:11,406 --> 00:08:13,607
Ok, then. Thanks.
195
00:08:13,675 --> 00:08:15,510
I can't believe this. I
can't get my monkey.
196
00:08:15,577 --> 00:08:17,512
Oh, can't you?
197
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,881
Well, maybe I'm not
available now.
198
00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:20,982
All right.
199
00:08:21,049 --> 00:08:22,884
No, no, I'll do it, I'll do it.
200
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:30,057
Yes, hi. I'm looking for
Maria ferraro, the flutist.
201
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,809
This is she. The flautist.
202
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:34,261
Hey, potay-to, potah-to, right?
203
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,597
It's flautist.
204
00:08:36,665 --> 00:08:39,099
Right. Anyway, my husband
and I were thinking
205
00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,402
about hiring you for
our vow renewal,
206
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,670
and I was just wondering
if I could hear you
207
00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:44,104
play a little something.
208
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,440
Well, the phone isn't
really the best medium.
209
00:08:46,508 --> 00:08:50,111
Either flaut or get
off the pot, ok?
210
00:08:54,282 --> 00:08:56,183
Uh, hello? Would
you just hold on
211
00:08:56,251 --> 00:08:58,019
for one second, ok?
212
00:08:58,086 --> 00:09:00,954
Hello? Miss? Yoo-hoo!
213
00:09:02,357 --> 00:09:05,159
Be right back. Hello.
214
00:09:05,227 --> 00:09:07,361
Hi, darling. I was just thinking
215
00:09:07,429 --> 00:09:09,763
instead of that
stodgy old port wine,
216
00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:11,598
how about if I float you
a delightful bottle
217
00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:14,402
of peach schnapps? Nearly full.
218
00:09:14,469 --> 00:09:17,038
Well, dad, I kind
of had my heart set
219
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:18,572
on trying the port.
220
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,909
Uh-huh. What about if I
throw in a canned ham?
221
00:09:23,278 --> 00:09:26,280
All right, I gotta go. I'll
talk to you later. Hello?
222
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,182
Hey, I need you to
decide on a table.
223
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,451
They have round, oval,
square, rectangle,
224
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:31,985
one in that stop-sign shape-
225
00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:33,321
I'm on the other line
right now, honey.
226
00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:34,972
Listen, I am very close
to blacking out.
227
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,057
Please pick a shape.
228
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:38,610
I am on the other line
with the flute lady.
229
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:39,777
Wait a second. No, I gotta go.
230
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,779
I'll talk to you at home.
Ok, bye.
231
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,916
That sounded great.
232
00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:50,254
Hello? You still there?
233
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,857
Where are you?
234
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,059
I think the more
appropriate question
235
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,862
is where were you?
236
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,331
Oh, um, I'm sorry. See,
what happened was-
237
00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:08,922
ugh! This party!
238
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,558
Are all flautists bitches?
239
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,626
Because I know 3 of them are.
240
00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:15,229
And the bakery won't
deliver to the bluff,
241
00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:17,231
so we gotta drive 25 Miles
242
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:20,101
with a 4-foot-high cake
strapped to our hood.
243
00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:22,136
And port-a-potties
are a fortune.
244
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,904
Can't we just tell everybody
on the invitation
245
00:10:23,972 --> 00:10:27,174
to come having peed?
246
00:10:27,242 --> 00:10:28,875
What's the matter with you?
247
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:31,262
Mr. bongo's a whore.
248
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,613
What?
249
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,615
He blew us off
because he got a job
250
00:10:34,683 --> 00:10:37,585
working a Toyota dealership
with Phil Simms.
251
00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:39,720
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
252
00:10:42,056 --> 00:10:43,090
Who would've thought
253
00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:44,525
that a beautiful thing
like a vow renewal
254
00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:46,761
would be such a pain in the ass?
255
00:10:46,828 --> 00:10:48,262
I know.
256
00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:50,798
But you're still into it, right?
257
00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:52,333
Yeah.
258
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,501
I mean, if you are.
259
00:10:53,568 --> 00:10:56,403
No, I am.
260
00:10:56,471 --> 00:10:58,873
I'd be willing not
to, though, if you-
261
00:10:58,940 --> 00:10:59,623
ok. Really?
262
00:10:59,691 --> 00:11:01,526
Yeah. Oh, my God!
263
00:11:01,593 --> 00:11:05,179
I am so relieved! We are
killing ourselves here.
264
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,897
Yes!
265
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,349
Oh, I'm so happy we're
not doing this.
266
00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:09,683
What were we thinking?
267
00:11:09,751 --> 00:11:10,818
I know! I mean, we
already did our vows.
268
00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:11,919
We said them once.
269
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:13,421
They never go bad.
They're like twinkies.
270
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,755
Right!
271
00:11:14,823 --> 00:11:15,706
Hey, kids, don't mind me.
272
00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:17,425
Just dropping off
some literature.
273
00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,493
Apparently, they found a
link between port wine
274
00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:22,096
and irritable bowel syndrome.
275
00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:23,564
Oh, that's ok, dad.
276
00:11:23,631 --> 00:11:25,466
We decided not to
renew our vows.
277
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:29,036
Oh, well, that's too bad.
278
00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:31,189
Hot dog!
279
00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:36,177
Hello.
280
00:11:36,244 --> 00:11:38,312
Dougie, it's mom. Hey, ma.
281
00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:40,498
I just wanted you to
know Smitty is diabetic
282
00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:41,665
and is wondering if
you're gonna have
283
00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,034
splenda packets on the table.
284
00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,487
Oh, well, you can tell him...
285
00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,121
Or her not to worry
286
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,923
because we're calling
the whole thing off.
287
00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:51,225
What?
288
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,009
Yeah, you know what?
289
00:11:52,077 --> 00:11:53,060
It just turned into a huge pain,
290
00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:54,995
and we just decided to bag it.
291
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:57,832
Oh. I see.
292
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:02,736
Well, I'll tell Smitty, and, uh,
293
00:12:02,804 --> 00:12:05,039
that's that, then.
294
00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:06,507
Ok, ma, then say hi to dad,
295
00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:07,708
and I'll talk to you soon.
296
00:12:07,775 --> 00:12:09,810
Good-bye, sweetheart. Bye.
297
00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:12,813
Joe! The kids are in trouble!
298
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:18,736
Hey, Carrie.
299
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,372
I need you to 3-hole-punch
this set of papers,
300
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,041
and 2-hole-punch this set,
301
00:12:23,108 --> 00:12:25,543
and remember to save
those little circles-
302
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,311
for new year's Eve confetti.
I know.
303
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,446
Ok. You're the best.
304
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:29,780
Mm-hmm.
305
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:33,051
Oh, by the way, I'm coming
solo to your vow renewal.
306
00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:34,184
I figure romantic setting,
307
00:12:34,252 --> 00:12:35,953
why bring an old cow along
308
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:39,223
when there are new
calves for the lassoing?
309
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:42,359
You didn't hear? We
canceled the whole thing.
310
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:44,946
Oh. Sorry. That's too bad.
311
00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:48,215
Oh, no, no. It's ok. It
just became a hassle.
312
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,901
A hassle. Mm-hmm.
313
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:53,671
You know, Carrie,
314
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:57,175
we have a policy for what
we call crisis leave.
315
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,609
Yeah, no, I know.
316
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:02,480
I remember from when
you took yours.
317
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,948
But, no, we're fine.
Doug and I are great.
318
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,816
We've never been better.
319
00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:07,868
Right.
320
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:18,997
Hey, kiddo. I just heard
you called things off.
321
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,798
You ok?
322
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,570
Yeah?
323
00:13:28,339 --> 00:13:29,941
Talk to me, guy.
324
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,308
Excuse me?
325
00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:32,426
Talk to me.
326
00:13:32,494 --> 00:13:33,727
About what?
327
00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:36,764
Talk... to... me.
328
00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:38,499
Hey!
329
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:41,352
Look, I heard you were
canceling your vows.
330
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,588
I - I had no idea things
were this bad with you two.
331
00:13:44,656 --> 00:13:45,940
It's not bad. What are
you talking about?
332
00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:47,775
It just became a big
pain, that's all.
333
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:50,461
Hey, when I accepted
334
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,530
your invitation to
be your best man,
335
00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:55,666
I didn't just sign up
for the good times.
336
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,802
I consider it a responsibility,
337
00:13:57,869 --> 00:14:00,638
and I take it very seriously.
338
00:14:00,705 --> 00:14:02,323
You were supposed
to be a monkey.
339
00:14:02,391 --> 00:14:04,424
Shh!
340
00:14:04,492 --> 00:14:06,110
Easy.
341
00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:08,212
It's me here.
342
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,466
Take off the mask.
343
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:14,052
Let me see your face.
344
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,470
Ok, you know what? You're right.
You're right, man.
345
00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:17,372
We should talk, but, uh,
346
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,606
I'll tell you what.
These walls have ears,
347
00:14:18,673 --> 00:14:19,673
so let's go outside
and do it out there.
348
00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:20,741
Oh, good call, buddy.
349
00:14:20,809 --> 00:14:21,742
Yeah, totally.
350
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,978
Ahem. Ok.
351
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:31,168
So has anybody bought my port?
352
00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:32,569
We don't know yet, ok?
353
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:33,638
This is an on-line auction.
354
00:14:33,705 --> 00:14:35,439
It could go on for days.
355
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,392
Well, I can't sit here for days.
356
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:39,376
I mean, the next 2 are
fine, but on Thursday,
357
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,679
I'm sampling food at
costco with Mickey.
358
00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:46,734
The current bid is...
359
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,570
$1,350!
360
00:14:49,637 --> 00:14:51,405
Mamaloshen!
361
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:57,244
Ohh. Hey, guys. What are
you doing on my computer?
362
00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,845
Oh, just, uh...
363
00:14:58,913 --> 00:15:01,899
Looking at pornography,
sweetheart.
364
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,868
Well, good luck with that.
365
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,670
Thank you.
366
00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:10,808
Supermarket knockoff advil now!
367
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,142
What's wrong with you?
368
00:15:12,210 --> 00:15:13,678
Oh, work was crazy.
369
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,546
I mean, ever since we
canceled renewing our vows,
370
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,281
everyone thinks our
marriage is in trouble.
371
00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,333
They were all like,
"are you ok?"
372
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,885
We're here for you, sweetie."
373
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,621
It's so freakin' annoying.
374
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,657
I got the same thing from Danny,
375
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,993
and the chair guy invited
me out for Sushi.
376
00:15:31,112 --> 00:15:33,163
You know what? Let
the machine get it.
377
00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:35,633
It's probably just Danny
reminding me hugs are free.
378
00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,436
Dougie, it's your mother.
379
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,723
I'm gonna try and say
this without crying.
380
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:46,644
Every marriage has
its potholes...
381
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:50,398
Oh, God. It's spread to Florida.
382
00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:54,168
And marriage can be a long
and wonderful winding road.
383
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,035
All right, you know what?
384
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:56,187
Should we just go
through with this
385
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,422
to stop this madness?
386
00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,089
What, are you crazy?
We're not gonna do it
387
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,075
just to prove
something to people.
388
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:03,460
Doug, I can't live
like this anymore!
389
00:16:03,528 --> 00:16:05,279
And when trouble comes
into that home-
390
00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:07,582
oh, for the love of Pete!
Will you leave them alone?
391
00:16:07,649 --> 00:16:09,550
Go back to your program, Joe!
392
00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:12,553
This is a private conversation.
393
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:15,572
When you have trouble,
394
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,908
all you need to get through
it is faith in each other
395
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,177
and in God.
396
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,213
Oh, great. Now she's got
God in the middle of this.
397
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,865
That's a lot of firepower.
398
00:16:24,932 --> 00:16:27,218
All right, all
right, we'll do it!
399
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:30,053
Ma, ma, yeah. Don't worry.
400
00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:33,257
You know what? We're
gonna renew the vows.
401
00:16:33,324 --> 00:16:35,292
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
402
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,746
Ok. Bye.
403
00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:41,198
That's a kick in the oblongs.
404
00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:47,004
And it's because of the
love that you two share
405
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,889
that you've chosen
to come together
406
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:52,326
at this blessed renewal
of your wedding vows.
407
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,449
Am I correct?
408
00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,600
Hmm?
409
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:02,636
Oh. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful
thing, beautiful.
410
00:17:02,704 --> 00:17:06,373
Well, now, are you planning
on writing your own vows?
411
00:17:06,441 --> 00:17:07,891
Gotta be honest
with you, father.
412
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,162
Whatever you got handy is fine.
413
00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,597
Yeah, we'll just take
the standard vows,
414
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:15,866
and we'll fill in all the
personal stuff, like mad libs.
415
00:17:17,051 --> 00:17:19,186
Uh, Doug, uh, Carrie,
416
00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:22,356
you do realize this
is a vow renewal.
417
00:17:22,424 --> 00:17:24,558
You don't have to do this.
418
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,227
Oh, no, no, no, we
have to do this.
419
00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:28,529
Yeah, because everyone
we know is all over us
420
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:30,864
because of her great idea.
421
00:17:30,932 --> 00:17:32,600
Whoa, whoa!
422
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:35,068
You're not trying to blame
me for this, are you?
423
00:17:35,136 --> 00:17:36,220
All I'm saying is if you
hadn't thought of it,
424
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,189
my mom wouldn't be crying
into our answering machine.
425
00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:39,357
Oh, please, would you?
426
00:17:39,424 --> 00:17:40,674
I'm gonna go get
427
00:17:40,742 --> 00:17:43,627
the affirmation
of love pamphlet.
428
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:45,930
First of all, the only
reason why I thought of it
429
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,916
in the first place is because
you were going on and on
430
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:52,186
about how much "in love" you
were with me at the restaurant.
431
00:17:52,254 --> 00:17:53,838
And the only reason I was
saying I was "in love"
432
00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:55,405
with you is because
you got me drunk
433
00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:57,441
and promised me a monkey.
434
00:17:57,508 --> 00:18:00,778
Oh, yeah, Doug, and that
was a brilliant idea-
435
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,646
take our sacred wedding vows
436
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,582
and turn it into a
friggin' circus!
437
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:06,517
I knew it. You've
always hated my monkey!
438
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:07,768
From the beginning!
439
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,586
Ya think?
440
00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:11,755
Doug, Carrie.
441
00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:16,560
I have a young, happy couple
waiting right outside.
442
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:17,511
Oh, sorry, father.
443
00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,497
We'll-we'll lower our voices.
Yeah.
444
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,966
I was wondering if you
guys could, uh, just...
445
00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:37,748
She's 45 minutes late.
446
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:39,149
I don't think she's coming.
447
00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:40,584
The girl's just a little late.
448
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,086
Scatterbrained is all she is.
449
00:18:43,154 --> 00:18:46,056
I'm not so sure.
Pray with me, Joe.
450
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:48,158
She'll be here!
451
00:18:48,226 --> 00:18:51,796
You don't know that!
452
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:52,730
Poor kid.
453
00:18:52,797 --> 00:18:54,265
You know, I saw the
whole thing coming.
454
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,468
Everyone did. She's
been so stressed.
455
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,237
I heard her yell at a flautist.
456
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,772
Yowch.
457
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,157
This is unbelievable.
458
00:19:03,224 --> 00:19:05,042
You all right, man?
You need anything?
459
00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,377
Hey, step off, pal.
460
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,613
I'm the best man. You
had your chance.
461
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,832
I was just gonna ask if
he wanted another soda.
462
00:19:11,899 --> 00:19:13,867
Yeah, well, now I'm gonna ask
him if he wants another soda.
463
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,001
You want another soda? No.
464
00:19:15,069 --> 00:19:16,603
No. He said no. All right.
Take a stroll, babe.
465
00:19:16,671 --> 00:19:17,938
Bye-bye!
466
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:22,810
Well, folks, looks like Douglas
has been left at the altar.
467
00:19:22,877 --> 00:19:25,913
Let's form an orderly line and
walk away from the bluff,
468
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,314
and any gifts you
may have brought
469
00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:30,584
are obviously yours to keep.
470
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:32,452
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! I haven't
been left at the altar!
471
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,322
Ok? Carrie will be here.
472
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:37,758
Our relationship is fine!
473
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,026
It's great!
474
00:19:40,628 --> 00:19:42,797
All right, look, it's not great.
475
00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:45,066
Ok, we're in a huge
fight right now,
476
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:47,835
and I'm sure that's
why she's late.
477
00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:49,070
But the only reason
we're in a big fight
478
00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,470
is because of all of you!
479
00:19:50,538 --> 00:19:53,007
That's right, you, mom, and dad
480
00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:54,875
and Danny and Smitty
481
00:19:54,942 --> 00:19:57,027
or Jules, whichever one you are,
482
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,012
and girl from Carrie's office
483
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,697
whose name I just don't
remember right now.
484
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,399
Amy. Yeah, Amy! Wow!
485
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,102
I was thinking Darla.
I was way off.
486
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,054
But the point is, this
is all your fault, ok?
487
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,439
So don't judge us. We
didn't want to do this.
488
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:11,375
We're just doing this for you.
489
00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:13,611
Joe, look!
490
00:20:17,949 --> 00:20:20,033
Oh, damn it.
491
00:20:31,846 --> 00:20:32,979
Sorry I'm late.
492
00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:35,715
I had to make a pit stop
at fleischman Toyota.
493
00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:37,884
You brought my monkey.
494
00:20:37,952 --> 00:20:40,104
Here's the ring.
495
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,974
And, uh, here's a toast I wrote.
496
00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:50,798
Listen, Doug, I heard everything
you were saying to everyone,
497
00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:51,965
and I want to tell you
498
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,502
that I'm not doing
this for any of them.
499
00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:56,670
I'm doing this for us,
500
00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:58,456
'cause I love you
501
00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:01,125
very much.
502
00:21:01,192 --> 00:21:03,460
Now take the monkey,
'cause he smells.
503
00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:09,032
Friends, relatives,
504
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,236
we are gathered here today
505
00:21:12,303 --> 00:21:15,740
for the blessed renewal
of the wedding vows
506
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,542
of Doug and Carrie.
507
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:32,604
Son of a bitch.
35695
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