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1
00:00:02,061 --> 00:00:04,445
Doug? Honey?
2
00:00:04,513 --> 00:00:06,114
I'm out here!
3
00:00:10,201 --> 00:00:12,036
What are you doin'
out on the porch?
4
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:13,971
Just takin' in the evening.
5
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,791
What is this, mayberry?
6
00:00:17,859 --> 00:00:19,525
Come on out. Join me.
7
00:00:19,593 --> 00:00:22,529
It's a beautiful night. Look...
look, you can see the big bopper.
8
00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:28,851
It is kinda nice.
9
00:00:28,919 --> 00:00:31,136
Ain't it? Yeah.
10
00:00:31,204 --> 00:00:33,322
Oh, look, Mrs. Chang's
lettin' her cat in.
11
00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:37,026
Oh, yeah, she loves
that little tabby, huh?
12
00:00:37,094 --> 00:00:39,444
Hey, check it out. The garrisons
got some new trash cans.
13
00:00:39,512 --> 00:00:40,879
Oh, yeah.
14
00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:42,581
Wheels on 'em.
15
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:48,202
Hey, couple young fellas down
there, shootin' the breeze.
16
00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:49,787
Yeah.
17
00:00:50,539 --> 00:00:52,056
Oh, look.
18
00:00:52,123 --> 00:00:54,909
One of them just took
out a wad of cash.
19
00:00:56,544 --> 00:01:00,263
Now the other one's taking it
and giving him a little baggie.
20
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:02,866
Oh, my God, they
just looked at us!
21
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,386
Hey, babe.
22
00:01:42,453 --> 00:01:43,620
Hey.
23
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:45,555
Where's, uh...
Where's breakfast?
24
00:01:45,623 --> 00:01:47,324
Comin' right up.
25
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,800
Slimtime morning meal 1-a.
26
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:02,403
Kill me now.
27
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,322
Doug, you agreed to
start your diet today.
28
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,524
The doctor said your cholesterol
was through the roof.
29
00:02:06,591 --> 00:02:08,293
But maybe he meant
that in a good way,
30
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,678
like, you know, "through
the roof, whoop-whoop!
31
00:02:10,746 --> 00:02:12,280
Whoop-whoop!"
32
00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:15,150
Listen, I paid for 8
weeks of these meals,
33
00:02:15,217 --> 00:02:16,550
so this diet is happening.
34
00:02:16,618 --> 00:02:18,318
So no more wing
night at coopers,
35
00:02:18,386 --> 00:02:19,619
no more poker with the guys...
36
00:02:19,788 --> 00:02:20,804
No more poker? Why not?
37
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:22,472
Because you always pig out!
38
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:24,141
I do not!
39
00:02:24,207 --> 00:02:26,543
Doug, you once told me you only played
poker because it adds excitement
40
00:02:26,611 --> 00:02:28,011
to your eating.
41
00:02:30,113 --> 00:02:32,331
Excuse me for embracing life.
42
00:02:34,101 --> 00:02:35,635
Come on, honey, trust me.
43
00:02:35,703 --> 00:02:37,670
Once you start losing weight,
44
00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,270
you will feel much better.
45
00:02:39,338 --> 00:02:41,207
Now, come on, you have a
great little meal here.
46
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,442
Mmm, smells good.
47
00:02:44,510 --> 00:02:46,561
And the guy at the
diet center said...
48
00:02:46,629 --> 00:02:47,896
I'm done.
49
00:02:48,831 --> 00:02:50,531
You are not done,
50
00:02:50,599 --> 00:02:52,200
you still got your little
meat thingie there.
51
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:54,635
Oh, yeah, that little
stamp of ham. Ok.
52
00:02:54,703 --> 00:02:56,137
Can I at least
have some mustard?
53
00:02:56,205 --> 00:02:57,838
Yeah, go crazy.
54
00:02:58,673 --> 00:02:59,874
Dad, what are you doin'?
55
00:02:59,941 --> 00:03:01,609
This is a perfectly
good container.
56
00:03:01,676 --> 00:03:03,844
Why are you throwing it out?
57
00:03:03,912 --> 00:03:06,145
Because when I buy
margarine again,
58
00:03:06,213 --> 00:03:07,698
I'm pretty sure
they're gonna give me
59
00:03:07,766 --> 00:03:10,232
another container
to take it home in.
60
00:03:10,301 --> 00:03:12,635
All I know is this would
make a lovely holder
61
00:03:12,703 --> 00:03:15,504
for my collection of
civil war bullets.
62
00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:16,939
And all I know is,
63
00:03:16,974 --> 00:03:19,324
downstairs you have a
million empty boxes,
64
00:03:19,392 --> 00:03:21,693
jell-o cups, vaporub jars,
65
00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:22,929
and nothing in any of 'em!
66
00:03:22,996 --> 00:03:24,763
You looked through
my private things?
67
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,365
Shame on you!
68
00:03:29,319 --> 00:03:31,285
Doug, what are you doin'?
69
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,489
Answer me.
70
00:03:34,556 --> 00:03:35,957
I can't find the mustard.
71
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:37,758
Doug! What?
72
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:40,194
Oh, God, it's like I'm
living with toddlers here.
73
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,730
Ok, listen to me. I am
coming home late tonight.
74
00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:44,031
In the meantime,
75
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,732
you stay out of the garbage,
76
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,735
and you stay out of
the big, cold box,
77
00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:51,171
do you understand
what mommy is saying?
78
00:03:51,205 --> 00:03:52,471
Yes, ma'am.
79
00:03:52,539 --> 00:03:54,875
Ok, good. I'll see you tonight.
80
00:04:01,281 --> 00:04:02,782
You know, when I
gave her to you,
81
00:04:02,849 --> 00:04:04,200
she was sweet as pie.
82
00:04:17,829 --> 00:04:20,715
Gets smaller when you cook it.
Huh.
83
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:27,237
Oh, God.
84
00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:52,360
Hello, Douglas.
85
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,362
Hey, Arthur, uh...
86
00:04:55,598 --> 00:04:57,231
What you, uh...
87
00:04:57,299 --> 00:04:59,099
What you got there?
88
00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:01,703
Pizza pie.
89
00:05:03,821 --> 00:05:05,156
Good for you.
90
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,285
Mmm.
91
00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:26,376
Ohh!
92
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:28,776
All right.
93
00:05:28,844 --> 00:05:31,196
You're gonna have
to stop doin' that.
94
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,098
I can't help it. This
is delicious pizza.
95
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:35,583
Ok, if I hear one
more "mmm" or "ahh,"
96
00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:37,436
I'm comin' at you hard.
97
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:39,102
You hear?
98
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:40,270
Gotcha.
99
00:05:53,285 --> 00:05:55,551
Ooh! That's it!
100
00:05:55,619 --> 00:05:57,788
Get up, short stuff!
Hit the stairs!
101
00:05:57,855 --> 00:05:59,022
Fine.
102
00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:01,423
I shouldn't have to eat in fear!
103
00:06:56,409 --> 00:06:58,644
God, please be a prowler.
104
00:07:01,397 --> 00:07:04,265
You are so busted, mister!
105
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,567
I didn't mean to cheat!
106
00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:07,535
Arthur left me here
alone with this pizza,
107
00:07:07,602 --> 00:07:11,371
and I... I... I blacked out, and
when I came to, I was eating her.
108
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,706
Weird.
109
00:07:16,678 --> 00:07:17,944
Well,
110
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:21,314
it's mine now.
111
00:07:21,382 --> 00:07:22,949
I will eat this,
112
00:07:23,017 --> 00:07:25,851
and you eat whatever
that is there,
113
00:07:25,919 --> 00:07:28,920
because you are sticking to
your diet, my buddy friend.
114
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,089
Fine.
115
00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:46,121
Oh, have your stupid pizza.
116
00:07:47,072 --> 00:07:48,338
Really?
117
00:07:48,406 --> 00:07:49,540
Yeah.
118
00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:56,463
You're not just baiting me
like the time you told me
119
00:07:56,531 --> 00:07:59,298
I could get the porn channel,
then said I disgust you?
120
00:08:00,585 --> 00:08:01,785
No.
121
00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,953
Go ahead. I know you love it.
122
00:08:05,424 --> 00:08:06,690
Ok, then.
123
00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:10,493
Pizza, pizza, pizza.
124
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,729
So where you been tonight?
125
00:08:12,797 --> 00:08:15,498
Oh, um, there's a new secretary
126
00:08:15,566 --> 00:08:16,699
on our floor,
127
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:19,401
and after work, we
went out for a drink.
128
00:08:20,368 --> 00:08:21,486
A drink.
129
00:08:22,321 --> 00:08:23,421
Did you, now?
130
00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:25,122
Mm-hmm.
131
00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,126
Oh, we ordered one of
those apple Martinis.
132
00:08:27,193 --> 00:08:29,777
They are so good!
133
00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:31,146
Little cocktail, God bless.
134
00:08:31,214 --> 00:08:32,613
Mm-hmm.
135
00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,067
Ooh. You gonna have
some garlic bread?
136
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:40,370
As a matter of fact, I am.
137
00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:48,979
Ok, open for $2.
138
00:08:49,047 --> 00:08:51,314
I'll see you and raise $5.
139
00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:54,216
Raise $5, huh, Lou?
140
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,236
Methinks the next-door
neighbor to scare everyone out
141
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,488
with a big, bad bluff.
142
00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:00,505
So, you in, or you out?
143
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,007
Oh, I'm out.
144
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,142
It's to you, Danny.
145
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,944
Well, he's not scarin' me.
146
00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:07,980
I call.
147
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,631
What do you got, big guy?
148
00:09:10,699 --> 00:09:11,799
A pair of 10s.
149
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,218
Straight to the ace!
150
00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:15,485
Oh!
151
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:19,156
Oh, yeah! Sorry,
Ferrigno, don't get mad.
152
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:21,041
Oh, I think he's turning
a little green.
153
00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:25,980
Hey, if that shirt starts
rippin', I'm outta here!
154
00:09:28,183 --> 00:09:30,483
I was told there'd
be no hulk jokes.
155
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,368
New guy.
156
00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:35,020
All right, we got cheese
in a can, cheese in a jar,
157
00:09:35,088 --> 00:09:38,090
and for those of you eating
lighter, pork rinds.
158
00:09:38,158 --> 00:09:40,259
Wait, I thought Carrie was
making you go on a diet.
159
00:09:40,327 --> 00:09:41,860
Yeah, what's up?
160
00:09:41,927 --> 00:09:43,896
She seen you in your
underwear and just give up?
161
00:09:45,164 --> 00:09:47,466
Nope. Things have
changed around here.
162
00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:49,033
I eat what I want,
163
00:09:49,101 --> 00:09:50,736
I play poker when I want,
164
00:09:50,803 --> 00:09:54,339
and I scratch where I want.
165
00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:57,074
All because Carrie discovered
the apple Martini.
166
00:09:57,609 --> 00:09:59,344
Huh?
167
00:09:59,412 --> 00:10:01,945
Yeah. Every night now, she goes out for
a drink with this other secretary,
168
00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:04,498
and I get
"after-6:00-happy-Carrie."
169
00:10:04,565 --> 00:10:06,016
Oh, get outta here, man.
170
00:10:06,084 --> 00:10:08,484
No, I'm serious. She's sweet.
She's funny.
171
00:10:08,552 --> 00:10:10,853
She's frisky!
172
00:10:10,921 --> 00:10:12,922
It's all the beautiful
qualities I married her for
173
00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:15,658
without the unpleasant
aftertaste.
174
00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:18,327
But, Doug,
175
00:10:18,395 --> 00:10:20,263
isn't it better to love the
person for who they really are,
176
00:10:20,331 --> 00:10:23,032
not when they're made
artificially nicer by alcohol.
177
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,600
You're adorable.
178
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,003
Hey, evening, sweet cakes.
179
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:30,472
What's up, Carrie?
180
00:10:30,539 --> 00:10:32,007
Do me a favor. Take a
look at Lou's cards
181
00:10:32,075 --> 00:10:35,594
and blink twice if he, uh,
can beat a pair of Jacks.
182
00:10:36,311 --> 00:10:37,277
What are you doin'?
183
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,763
What? You... you
said we could play.
184
00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:40,297
Yeah, in the garage.
185
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:43,867
Well, it's, it's kinda cold
out there, and there's a car.
186
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,871
So you just decided
to come in here
187
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:49,605
and put a huge scratch
in the hardwood floor?
188
00:10:49,673 --> 00:10:52,158
Oh. Yeah, we were
moving the couch,
189
00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:53,960
and Spence buckled.
190
00:10:54,794 --> 00:10:56,362
And who spilled the beer?
191
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,030
Again, that would be Spence.
192
00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:00,500
Well, haven't we been busy?
193
00:11:00,568 --> 00:11:02,101
That's great. That's
great, buddy.
194
00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:06,037
That's why I don't like
you guys playing in here.
195
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:08,974
And while we're at it, let's
say bye-bye to the stogies.
196
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:10,090
Yeah!
197
00:11:13,495 --> 00:11:16,630
I gotta tell ya, I'm not
seein' the difference.
198
00:11:21,703 --> 00:11:23,438
Sorry about the mess out there.
199
00:11:23,506 --> 00:11:25,472
But the good news
is, I'm up $11,
200
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,992
and that's going straight
towards your mink stole.
201
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:32,028
Uh, so, you're, uh, home
earlier than usual.
202
00:11:32,096 --> 00:11:33,464
You didn't stop off for a drink
203
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:34,765
with your friend tonight?
204
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,033
Nope. I'm pretty sure
we're never gonna be
205
00:11:37,101 --> 00:11:38,935
hanging out ever again.
206
00:11:39,836 --> 00:11:41,003
W-why not?
207
00:11:41,071 --> 00:11:43,039
She told my boss I was stealing
208
00:11:43,106 --> 00:11:45,074
because she wants my job.
209
00:11:45,893 --> 00:11:46,992
That's nothin'.
210
00:11:48,779 --> 00:11:50,328
I... I gotta tell ya, car',
211
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:51,948
I think you're way
overreacting here.
212
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,316
The girl is a
backstabbing skank,
213
00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:56,834
and I am never hanging
out with her again.
214
00:11:56,902 --> 00:11:58,937
Why do you care so much, anyway?
215
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,637
I... I mean, I care about you.
216
00:12:00,705 --> 00:12:03,108
I just care about
keeping you happy.
217
00:12:03,176 --> 00:12:04,308
Oh, yeah?
218
00:12:04,376 --> 00:12:06,877
Well, how 'bout we stop
chain-swallowing yodels?
219
00:12:06,945 --> 00:12:08,779
That'll be a start, ok?
220
00:12:08,847 --> 00:12:10,797
Will do.
221
00:12:10,865 --> 00:12:12,732
Oh, and just, uh, for
my own schedule,
222
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,368
you're not gonna be making any
more pit stops after work, right?
223
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,370
You're... you're
coming straight home?
224
00:12:17,438 --> 00:12:18,522
Yep.
225
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,315
I'm home.
226
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,000
Hey, who's thirsty?
227
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:42,777
Oh, it's great, Spence.
228
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:44,779
I started this apple
Martini hour.
229
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:46,747
She couldn't love it more.
230
00:12:46,815 --> 00:12:48,632
Every night she comes
home from work,
231
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,101
we have cocktails,
and all of a sudden,
232
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:53,821
I'm maj. Nelson and
she's my Jeannie.
233
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:59,559
No, no, no. You can't be maj.
Healey.
234
00:13:01,529 --> 00:13:03,061
I gotta go.
235
00:13:04,047 --> 00:13:05,248
Hey, baby.
236
00:13:05,316 --> 00:13:06,915
Ooh!
237
00:13:06,982 --> 00:13:08,417
It's the I.P.S. Man.
238
00:13:08,484 --> 00:13:09,752
At your service.
239
00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:13,388
You got a package for me?
240
00:13:14,256 --> 00:13:15,624
I might.
241
00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:18,926
And did I happen to mention we
guarantee on-time delivery?
242
00:13:18,994 --> 00:13:21,396
Well, I will be the
judge of that.
243
00:13:27,736 --> 00:13:29,603
Hey! I was thinking.
244
00:13:29,671 --> 00:13:32,139
We should get one of those
big flat-screen t.V.S
245
00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:33,973
for the bedroom.
246
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:36,843
I think I just delivered
my package early.
247
00:13:40,381 --> 00:13:42,182
Oh, sorry to interrupt
248
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:44,216
your all-too-public
lovemaking session,
249
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:47,419
but I must take out the trash.
250
00:13:47,487 --> 00:13:49,088
Thanks, Arthur.
251
00:13:49,155 --> 00:13:51,323
You'll be happy to know, I'm
throwing away an egg carton
252
00:13:51,391 --> 00:13:54,625
which would be a wonderful
organizer for my pills.
253
00:13:54,693 --> 00:13:59,080
But I guess I'll just leave them
lying Willy-nilly on the dryer.
254
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:02,283
You know what, dad?
Keep your carton.
255
00:14:02,351 --> 00:14:03,651
Really?
256
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,304
Yeah. You're a little
pack rat, and I love ya.
257
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,608
Well, file this under
"c" for curve ball.
258
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,046
Evening, Louis.
259
00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:17,381
Hi, Arthur.
260
00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,583
By the way, I believe
we have a mutual friend
261
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,167
in Joe weider.
262
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,808
You a vodka man, Arthur?
263
00:14:28,876 --> 00:14:30,443
Oh, no, not me. For some reason,
264
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:32,712
Douglas has started making
cocktails every night
265
00:14:32,779 --> 00:14:33,913
when Carrie gets home.
266
00:14:33,981 --> 00:14:36,181
Really?
267
00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:38,117
I never thought
he'd go this far.
268
00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:39,618
What are you talking about?
269
00:14:39,685 --> 00:14:42,637
He told me he likes
her better drunk.
270
00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:44,872
Are you telling me he's
been pouring vodka
271
00:14:44,941 --> 00:14:46,173
down my little girl's throat
272
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,126
just to make her what he wants?
273
00:14:48,194 --> 00:14:49,810
Is that why she's
suddenly become
274
00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:51,345
this sweet little powder puff
275
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:54,298
without an ounce of gumption
or will of her own?
276
00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:57,133
Hey, there.
277
00:14:57,201 --> 00:14:58,368
Hi!
278
00:14:58,436 --> 00:15:00,337
Cocktails are served!
279
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:08,128
Well, the truth is, Hemingway
wanted to be faulkner,
280
00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:11,630
and faulkner wanted to be Hemingway.
My opinion?
281
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:14,533
Neither could hold a
candle to Fitzgerald.
282
00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:17,302
But then again, he had
to live with Zelda.
283
00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:23,308
I don't know what
he's talking about,
284
00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:26,310
but he's got a piece of cheese in
his mustache that's cracking me up!
285
00:15:26,378 --> 00:15:28,780
This is fun, isn't it?
Just plain fun!
286
00:15:28,848 --> 00:15:30,631
Yes, it reminds me of the time
287
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:33,951
when drinking was smart
and sophisticated,
288
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:35,987
not the ugly thing
that it's become.
289
00:15:36,054 --> 00:15:38,388
Well, thanks for putting
out this whole platter.
290
00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:40,724
You know what I haven't
told you in a while?
291
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:43,593
You're a great dad.
292
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,780
Well, darling, I don't know
what to say, except...
293
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,631
Let me give you a refill.
294
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:51,201
Wait, whoa! Whoa! Take it easy now.
Take it easy now.
295
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:52,401
Hey, Arthur, instead,
296
00:15:52,469 --> 00:15:54,338
why don't you tell us
another little story...
297
00:15:54,405 --> 00:15:55,738
Oh! Blah, blah, blah, blah!
298
00:15:55,806 --> 00:15:58,374
Come on! I'm bored!
Let's go do something.
299
00:15:58,442 --> 00:16:00,743
I... you know, it's just that
I gotta be up for work early.
300
00:16:00,811 --> 00:16:02,044
I wanna be sharp tomorrow.
301
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,845
Yeah, sign here for
this package, ma'am.
302
00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:05,113
Gotta be sharp for that.
303
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:09,083
Come on, and let's
do something fun!
304
00:16:09,151 --> 00:16:10,652
Like what?
305
00:16:14,438 --> 00:16:16,140
Watch out, coming to your left.
306
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,941
Nice job refilling her drink.
307
00:16:18,009 --> 00:16:19,559
Good choice.
308
00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:21,979
Hey! Excuse me.
309
00:16:22,847 --> 00:16:23,797
Whoop!
310
00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:25,432
I'm gonna get her, ok?
311
00:16:25,499 --> 00:16:28,884
Uh, car', come on! Time to go, car'.
All right?
312
00:16:28,952 --> 00:16:30,354
Oh, ok. Ok.
313
00:16:30,421 --> 00:16:33,423
But, honey, you have to
catch me first, though.
314
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:35,759
Carrie! Carrie!
315
00:16:37,394 --> 00:16:38,428
Carrie!
316
00:16:39,628 --> 00:16:41,814
Carrie, could you stop please?
317
00:16:41,882 --> 00:16:44,482
Carrie, this is not funny!
Ok, come on? Ok?
318
00:17:09,406 --> 00:17:10,973
Hey, guys.
319
00:17:11,041 --> 00:17:13,309
Hey, Lou. Hey, snowball.
320
00:17:13,377 --> 00:17:15,795
So, uh, what's going on?
321
00:17:15,863 --> 00:17:18,013
Nothing much. Just getting
back from skating.
322
00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:20,749
Little lady's pretty tuckered out.
Good night.
323
00:17:31,894 --> 00:17:33,595
That's it. That's it.
324
00:17:33,663 --> 00:17:35,395
I-I'm pulling the plug
on cocktail hour.
325
00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:37,065
What? Why?
326
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,800
Because wh-what we're doing
here, I-it's just not right.
327
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:43,438
This isn't a moral issue.
It's a dosage issue.
328
00:17:43,505 --> 00:17:45,422
This is how we learn.
329
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,425
It's over, Arthur.
330
00:17:47,492 --> 00:17:48,726
But these last few days
331
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,427
have been some of the
best of my life.
332
00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:52,445
I won't go back to
the way it was.
333
00:17:52,514 --> 00:17:54,380
I'll die first.
334
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,482
You don't think I've
been loving it, too?
335
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,953
You think I wanna go
back to eating sensibly?
336
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:03,823
Douglas, we're in too deep to
turn back, and you know it.
337
00:18:05,508 --> 00:18:07,809
I don't know, Arthur. I...
I just don't know.
338
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,013
Come on. Let's not
lose our heads.
339
00:18:11,081 --> 00:18:12,863
We'll go back to
one drink a night.
340
00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:15,183
It'll be fine.
341
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,919
Stay the course, man.
Stay the course!
342
00:18:27,228 --> 00:18:29,313
Remind me to get more vodka.
343
00:18:32,466 --> 00:18:33,599
Hey, Lou.
344
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:35,135
Oh, hey. How's it going?
345
00:18:35,203 --> 00:18:37,070
Oh, all right. I've had
a headache all day.
346
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:39,055
Little too much to
drink last night.
347
00:18:39,123 --> 00:18:40,256
Carrie?
348
00:18:41,324 --> 00:18:42,724
We need to talk.
349
00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:48,513
Hey!
350
00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:50,816
Hey! Just in time!
351
00:18:50,883 --> 00:18:55,421
Oh, look at you 2! You
are such sweeties.
352
00:18:55,488 --> 00:18:57,021
Oh, thank you.
353
00:18:57,856 --> 00:19:00,458
Mmm. This is good.
354
00:19:01,059 --> 00:19:02,461
You know what?
355
00:19:02,545 --> 00:19:05,647
Suddenly I feel less bitchy
and easier to live with.
356
00:19:08,416 --> 00:19:10,834
Oh, God.
357
00:19:10,902 --> 00:19:14,137
I know what you've been
doing with these Martinis!
358
00:19:14,204 --> 00:19:16,072
What? Has he been
getting us drunk
359
00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:18,274
to change our personalities?
360
00:19:18,975 --> 00:19:20,444
How dare you?
361
00:19:25,315 --> 00:19:28,084
I just do not believe you.
362
00:19:28,152 --> 00:19:29,517
Would you let me explain?
363
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,586
What's there to explain?
364
00:19:30,654 --> 00:19:32,620
Just say, "I prefer
my wife drunk."
365
00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:36,091
No, no, not drunk.
More like, sober plus.
366
00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,726
I didn't mean for it to happen like this.
You know that.
367
00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:40,795
It's just that you went
out with your friend,
368
00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:43,297
and you had a drink, and I
couldn't help but notice
369
00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:46,801
how it brought out all your
wonderful, natural qualities.
370
00:19:46,868 --> 00:19:49,219
And... and p.S.,
God's honest truth?
371
00:19:49,287 --> 00:19:51,038
You were a delight.
372
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,107
I should've suspected something.
373
00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:55,041
I mean, you don't
even like Martinis.
374
00:19:55,108 --> 00:19:56,677
I'm so stupid.
375
00:19:56,745 --> 00:19:59,128
Actually, I've been
drinking gatorade.
376
00:19:59,196 --> 00:20:00,347
What?
377
00:20:01,932 --> 00:20:03,115
Damn it!
378
00:20:05,018 --> 00:20:07,286
Look, let me ask you this, Doug.
379
00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:10,939
Am I that hard to be around
without a drink in me?
380
00:20:11,006 --> 00:20:13,359
I mean, am I that unpleasant?
381
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:15,144
No.
382
00:20:15,162 --> 00:20:16,928
You are so full of crap.
383
00:20:16,996 --> 00:20:18,631
Come on, Carrie. I'm sorry.
384
00:20:18,698 --> 00:20:20,798
You know I love you. I
love you however you are:
385
00:20:20,866 --> 00:20:22,301
Drunk, sober, mean, nice.
386
00:20:22,369 --> 00:20:23,801
Oh, that's sweet, honey.
387
00:20:23,869 --> 00:20:25,370
And I love you however you are:
388
00:20:25,437 --> 00:20:28,506
Fat, really fat, lose 5
pounds, but still fat.
389
00:20:31,158 --> 00:20:32,359
You know what?
390
00:20:32,427 --> 00:20:34,495
Y-your hurtful comment
just made a point for me.
391
00:20:34,561 --> 00:20:36,129
What are you talking about?
392
00:20:36,196 --> 00:20:37,865
You don't really like
who I am, either.
393
00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:40,183
Y-you're trying to change me
with this whole diet thing.
394
00:20:40,251 --> 00:20:42,034
How do you think
that makes me feel?
395
00:20:42,102 --> 00:20:44,004
Doug, I am not trying
to keep you drunk.
396
00:20:44,072 --> 00:20:46,706
I am trying to help
you live to see 40.
397
00:20:46,773 --> 00:20:48,358
It still hurts.
398
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:53,429
Look, I... I... I don't wanna
fight with you, ok? I mean...
399
00:20:53,497 --> 00:20:54,847
How about this?
400
00:20:54,915 --> 00:20:56,747
How 'bout we both stop
trying to change each other,
401
00:20:56,816 --> 00:20:58,884
'cause I think we learned
that that doesn't work.
402
00:20:58,952 --> 00:21:01,386
Huh? Come on, now.
What do you say?
403
00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:03,806
Or how about this:
404
00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:05,807
I do nothing, and you change
405
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:08,710
everything about
you I don't like.
406
00:21:08,778 --> 00:21:09,894
Okey-doke.
407
00:21:09,961 --> 00:21:11,096
All right.
408
00:21:16,518 --> 00:21:17,617
What?
409
00:21:17,685 --> 00:21:19,119
Hey, we're here to
watch the game.
410
00:21:19,187 --> 00:21:20,421
Yeah. No.
411
00:21:26,193 --> 00:21:28,194
I'm still not seein' it.
412
00:21:31,481 --> 00:21:33,514
♪
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