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1
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♪ My baby's goin' to Chicago
2
00:00:18,048 --> 00:00:19,312
Annoying.
3
00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:20,479
Come on, I'm helping.
4
00:00:20,547 --> 00:00:21,945
I'm turning the pain of packing
5
00:00:22,013 --> 00:00:24,777
into the Carrie Heffernan
travelin' blues.
6
00:00:24,845 --> 00:00:27,544
What do you do with these lawyers
for a whole week, anyway?
7
00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:29,842
Oh, we have a bunch of
meetings, depositions.
8
00:00:29,909 --> 00:00:31,540
And love affairs?
9
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,724
Hmm. Actually, now
that you mention it,
10
00:00:34,791 --> 00:00:36,906
toss me back those
black Lacy panties.
11
00:00:36,974 --> 00:00:39,006
I can't believe you're
goin' away on the one week
12
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,405
my parents are comin' to visit.
13
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:41,937
They're gonna be so bummed.
14
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:43,453
Honey, I'm sorry.
It's not my fault.
15
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,786
It's a last minute thing.
16
00:00:44,853 --> 00:00:47,168
Now I gotta take care
of them all by myself.
17
00:00:47,236 --> 00:00:48,968
I mean, I... I can't do that.
18
00:00:49,035 --> 00:00:50,951
What do you feed parents?
19
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,699
It's not that hard. You
go to the grocery store,
20
00:00:53,766 --> 00:00:55,248
you get something like chicken,
21
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,932
you expose it to heat,
and then you serve it.
22
00:00:59,014 --> 00:01:00,131
Huh?
23
00:01:00,198 --> 00:01:01,613
You'll be fine.
24
00:01:01,681 --> 00:01:02,978
Whoa. What's this?
25
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:04,943
That's a love note.
Don't read that now.
26
00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:07,560
You'll embarrass me.
27
00:01:07,628 --> 00:01:10,659
"Try to bring me home a
Chicago-style pizza."
28
00:01:13,242 --> 00:01:16,074
See, now I'm embarrassed.
29
00:01:48,294 --> 00:01:50,026
Hey, guy, how's
my truck lookin'?
30
00:01:50,094 --> 00:01:51,125
Almost loaded.
31
00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:52,891
Hey! Hey! What do
I do with this?
32
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:56,057
It's coded for our depot, but
the address is sector 7.
33
00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:58,555
J-Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
34
00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,621
What's my job here?
You're a driver.
35
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:02,288
Yeah. And what does he do?
36
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,520
Well, he's wearin'
the big black belt.
37
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:07,386
So I guess that
makes him a loader.
38
00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:10,250
Now Danny, if your job was
to mow the white house lawn,
39
00:02:10,318 --> 00:02:12,833
would you ask the president
what to do with the clippings?
40
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,632
No.
41
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,082
The unwritten rules, my friend,
42
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:19,713
the unwritten rules. All right.
43
00:02:19,781 --> 00:02:20,846
What's up?
44
00:02:20,913 --> 00:02:22,846
What's up, bridesmaid?
45
00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:24,979
So your, uh, folks
roll into town yet?
46
00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,244
Nah, they're comin' in today.
Oh, but it turns out
47
00:02:27,312 --> 00:02:28,961
Carrie's gotta go on
this business trip,
48
00:02:29,029 --> 00:02:31,425
so I gotta be their Mr.
Belvedere all week.
49
00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:33,208
You can't just suck
it up for a week?
50
00:02:33,276 --> 00:02:35,441
I mean, they took care of
you for 18 years, right?
51
00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:36,840
Actually, 27.
52
00:02:38,924 --> 00:02:41,888
Ok, don't all jump up at once.
I'm only the boss.
53
00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:43,455
What do you got there, Mr.
O'Boyle?
54
00:02:43,521 --> 00:02:44,920
Safety manuals for the test.
55
00:02:44,987 --> 00:02:46,320
W-what test?
56
00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:47,819
All right, guys. As all of you,
57
00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:49,619
except for Heffernan,
probably knows,
58
00:02:49,686 --> 00:02:51,850
the company's goin' with
another insurance carrier.
59
00:02:51,917 --> 00:02:53,383
So you're gonna
need these manuals
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00:02:53,451 --> 00:02:56,250
for the test on basic safety
practices on Wednesday.
61
00:02:57,516 --> 00:02:58,814
Well, grumble all you want,
62
00:02:58,882 --> 00:03:00,980
but you fail, you're off
the road for 3 months.
63
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,346
Speakin' of which, why aren't
you on the road right now?
64
00:03:03,413 --> 00:03:05,011
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
65
00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:06,678
I can't believe this crap.
66
00:03:06,746 --> 00:03:08,676
I've been drivin' my
truck for 8 years.
67
00:03:08,744 --> 00:03:10,676
Now they wanna see if
I know how to use it?
68
00:03:10,744 --> 00:03:14,024
I specifically took this job
so I wouldn't have to read.
69
00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:19,057
Does anybody wanna
form a study group?
70
00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:27,769
Anybody wanna wear a dress?
71
00:03:35,101 --> 00:03:37,099
Wow, these legs are
really scuffed.
72
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,598
Do you happen to know where
my son keeps his varnish?
73
00:03:39,665 --> 00:03:41,930
That would be in the
unventilated basement
74
00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:44,296
where they make me sleep.
75
00:03:44,363 --> 00:03:46,895
Ok, here's the problem.
No support screws.
76
00:03:46,962 --> 00:03:49,094
No wonder the darn
thing's wobbly.
77
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,826
Spooner, could you
pass me a screwdriver?
78
00:03:51,894 --> 00:03:55,192
I wasn't aware I was your
apprentice, but very well.
79
00:03:56,993 --> 00:03:58,990
Actually, I need
a Phillips head.
80
00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,356
You know what's funny?
81
00:04:01,424 --> 00:04:03,904
For 25 years, I owned
a hardware store.
82
00:04:03,972 --> 00:04:05,138
I could never figure out
83
00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,570
why the heck we needed 2
types of screwdrivers.
84
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:10,185
You ran a successful business.
I get it.
85
00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:12,135
I mean, everybody would
get along just fine
86
00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:13,668
with one screwdriver,
87
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:16,099
and then this guy,
Phillips, comes along,
88
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,899
convinces the world that
we need a 2nd screwdriver.
89
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,731
Maybe I should go out there
90
00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:22,764
and invent a "Joe's"
head screwdriver,
91
00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:24,563
make a million bucks for myself.
92
00:04:30,245 --> 00:04:33,608
Oh, is it 6:00 already? Forgive me.
I have to run.
93
00:04:33,676 --> 00:04:34,976
Where you goin'?
94
00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:36,975
Uh, a meeting at
the senior center.
95
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,274
We're unhappy with
the pudding vendor.
96
00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:42,439
We're thinkin' of
makin' a change.
97
00:04:44,155 --> 00:04:45,521
Hey! Hey! I'm home!
98
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,719
Oh, Dougie! Great to see you!
99
00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:51,586
Oh, sorry I'm late. I had to
stop at a couple of stores.
100
00:04:51,654 --> 00:04:53,151
When is Carrie gettin' home?
101
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,867
Oh, y-y-you're not
gonna believe this.
102
00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,967
She's in Chicago for the
week with her law firm.
103
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,832
She's totally gonna
miss your visit.
104
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,515
Aw, fiddlesticks.
105
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:02,615
It's ok. It's ok.
I got some stuff.
106
00:05:02,682 --> 00:05:04,579
You're gonna be all
taken care of here.
107
00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:06,679
I got some vegetables, uh, soap,
108
00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:08,612
a chicken, and some sheets.
109
00:05:10,045 --> 00:05:12,694
Carrie said we had, uh, extra
sheets, but I couldn't find 'em.
110
00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:14,725
Honey, they're in
the hall closet.
111
00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:16,358
I already made the bed.
112
00:05:16,426 --> 00:05:17,741
Oh. All right.
113
00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:21,173
Well, ok. But I am
making dinner, ok?
114
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:24,838
So let me just pop this
thing in the microwave
115
00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:28,903
and we will be good to go. Ok.
116
00:05:29,904 --> 00:05:31,869
I don't see a chicken button.
117
00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:34,085
Dougie, come on. Let
me make the dinner.
118
00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:36,616
No, ma, you're a guest
in my house, ok?
119
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,249
Let me host you.
120
00:05:38,317 --> 00:05:40,365
And you are very sweet,
but I am the mother here,
121
00:05:40,432 --> 00:05:42,131
and I'm pullin' rank on you.
122
00:05:42,199 --> 00:05:45,247
Let me do what I do, and
you do what you do, ok?
123
00:05:46,581 --> 00:05:49,279
Oh, yeah! Touchdown!
124
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:51,311
Oh, I stopped your ass!
125
00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:54,343
Dougie. Sorry, ma.
126
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,475
Is this all the laundry
what was up in the hamper?
127
00:05:56,644 --> 00:05:57,840
Ma, dinner was great.
128
00:05:57,908 --> 00:05:59,840
You don't have to do my laundry.
This is crazy.
129
00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:02,372
Come on! This is my joy.
130
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,489
Really?
131
00:06:03,557 --> 00:06:05,789
You think your joy would
mind washing my uniform?
132
00:06:05,856 --> 00:06:07,921
It's on the floor in my bedroom.
133
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:09,952
My son, the slob.
134
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:16,750
Hello? Hey, Spence, what's up?
135
00:06:16,818 --> 00:06:19,417
You know what? No, I can't. My...
my parents are here.
136
00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:20,948
Nah, it's goin' great.
137
00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:22,914
It's just like being back
in high school again,
138
00:06:22,981 --> 00:06:24,313
except with less acne.
139
00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:27,295
And now I've actually
seen a naked girl.
140
00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:28,946
You know what? I'll... I'll ask.
141
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,110
Ma!
142
00:06:31,178 --> 00:06:33,543
Can Spence come over
for dinner tomorrow?
143
00:06:33,611 --> 00:06:35,043
Sure.
144
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,508
Hey, you should invite the
whole gang like you used to.
145
00:06:37,577 --> 00:06:39,675
Oh, Joe, isn't this fun?
146
00:06:39,742 --> 00:06:42,023
Don't invite Spencer.
He's weird.
147
00:06:44,256 --> 00:06:46,922
Let it go, Joe. He
was in junior high.
148
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,254
He was just curious
about his body.
149
00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:53,819
Why did he have to be
curious in my bathroom,
150
00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:55,517
with the door unlocked?
151
00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:57,716
Ma, as long as you're
doin' dinner and laundry,
152
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,850
what are the odds I could
score some lemon squares?
153
00:06:59,917 --> 00:07:01,349
Already in the oven.
154
00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:03,481
I love you!
155
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,947
I love you, too, baby.
156
00:07:13,728 --> 00:07:14,760
Hello?
157
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,825
Anybody here?
158
00:07:23,124 --> 00:07:25,205
Young man, do you work here?
159
00:07:26,339 --> 00:07:28,438
Yeah. Yeah. I'm comin'.
160
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:34,569
Hey, what's up?
161
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,099
Catchin' a smoke
back there, huh?
162
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,582
Um, yeah.
163
00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:42,531
I notice you roll
your own cigarettes.
164
00:07:42,599 --> 00:07:44,432
Must save you a bundle.
165
00:07:46,281 --> 00:07:47,479
Yeah.
166
00:07:47,547 --> 00:07:48,945
A. Spooner.
167
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,078
Owen.
168
00:07:51,146 --> 00:07:52,811
Let me ask you this, Owen.
169
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:55,710
How many types of screwdrivers
do you carry here?
170
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,308
Uh, 2.
171
00:07:59,326 --> 00:08:00,907
The regular kind,
172
00:08:00,975 --> 00:08:03,957
and, uh, the other kind.
173
00:08:04,024 --> 00:08:07,205
I see. Now what if I told
you there was a new product
174
00:08:07,273 --> 00:08:09,671
poised to set the screwdriver
world on its ears?
175
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,570
It's called the "Arthur's" head.
176
00:08:11,638 --> 00:08:13,469
Would you have room
on your shelves
177
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,435
for something like that?
178
00:08:17,969 --> 00:08:19,251
I guess so.
179
00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:22,648
That's the answer I
was lookin' for.
180
00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:27,647
So long story short,
we gotta go in
181
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,863
a half hour early
tomorrow to take a test
182
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:33,261
just so the company can save,
like, 7 million bucks.
183
00:08:33,328 --> 00:08:36,027
You think we're gonna see any
of that in our paychecks?
184
00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:38,243
Don't think so.
185
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:41,375
That is some nice hand lotion
you have in the bathroom.
186
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:44,473
Oh, geez.
187
00:08:48,606 --> 00:08:50,071
Mrs. Heffernan,
dinner was amazing.
188
00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:52,470
Oh, please. It's my pleasure.
I'll second that, Janet.
189
00:08:52,537 --> 00:08:54,585
You guys wanna hit
coopers, play some pool?
190
00:08:54,737 --> 00:08:55,936
Oh, yeah, I'm in.
191
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,301
Let's hurry up and grab a table.
192
00:08:57,369 --> 00:08:58,901
Let's get goin'.
193
00:09:00,735 --> 00:09:02,166
Dougie? Yeah?
194
00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:03,532
Shouldn't you be studyin'?
195
00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:04,731
For what?
196
00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:05,864
For your test. It's tomorrow.
197
00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:07,130
I'll study later.
198
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,613
You know, y-you're not
a great test taker.
199
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,478
It's a test about driving.
I'm a driver.
200
00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:15,293
Douglas, I feel very
strongly that you should not
201
00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:17,293
go play pool with your
friends right now.
202
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,775
Tough. I'm goin'.
203
00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:20,575
Joe, would you say something?
204
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,425
What do you want from me?
205
00:09:22,493 --> 00:09:24,840
I want you to put down your g.D.
Newspaper
206
00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:26,422
and tell your son to study.
207
00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:28,821
Your mother wants you to study.
208
00:09:28,889 --> 00:09:30,754
Would you guys get off my case?
209
00:09:30,822 --> 00:09:32,720
I'm 34-and-a-half. God!
210
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,368
All right. You got 30 minutes.
211
00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:40,434
After that, pencils down.
212
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,633
No talking. No belching.
213
00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:45,665
This is serious
business, people.
214
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:47,464
All right. Begin.
215
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:07,381
Heffernan!
216
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,647
Yeah. Ok. Almost done.
217
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:16,311
Oh, hi, Dougie. How was work?
218
00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:18,443
Uh, it was good. I'm gonna
go upstairs and shower.
219
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,175
Wait. How did your test go?
220
00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:22,275
Uh, well, uh...
221
00:11:22,343 --> 00:11:24,008
They, uh, cancelled it.
222
00:11:24,942 --> 00:11:26,540
Really? Why?
223
00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,273
I don't know why.
They didn't tell us.
224
00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:29,739
I mean, why are
our trucks green?
225
00:11:29,806 --> 00:11:32,754
They didn't tell us that, either.
Ok, I gotta go.
226
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:43,317
Oh, good morning, Joseph.
227
00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:46,283
I see your chair's
holding up well.
228
00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:48,847
Kudos on your craftsmanship.
229
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,114
Thanks.
230
00:11:50,182 --> 00:11:51,613
Anyway, remember the other day
231
00:11:51,681 --> 00:11:53,896
we were kicking around an idea
232
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,295
about an alternate screwdriver?
233
00:11:57,313 --> 00:11:58,510
What?
234
00:11:58,578 --> 00:12:01,359
I think you may have called
it the "Joe's" head.
235
00:12:01,427 --> 00:12:03,859
That? I was joking.
236
00:12:03,926 --> 00:12:06,657
Well, then, if someone
were to develop
237
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,073
a "Joe's" head
238
00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:11,488
or let's say an "ar-nold's"
head screwdriver,
239
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,888
but, uh, you'd have no
problem with that, huh?
240
00:12:13,956 --> 00:12:15,836
Not really. No.
241
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:19,019
Would you sign this
document to that effect?
242
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,118
What's this?
243
00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:21,584
It's a standard release form.
244
00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,050
I'm not signin' this.
245
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,183
Oh, really? So I go out and
do all the heavy lifting
246
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,349
to get this thing to work,
247
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:27,582
then you come in at the end
248
00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:30,131
and claim all the profits.
Is that it?
249
00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:32,563
You're out of your mind.
250
00:12:32,681 --> 00:12:36,178
I've never been more in my mind.
251
00:12:36,246 --> 00:12:38,527
You want me to sign this?
All right.
252
00:12:38,595 --> 00:12:40,361
Buy me out. 10 bucks.
253
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:41,543
5. 10.
254
00:12:41,611 --> 00:12:42,842
Deal.
255
00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:51,289
So you got all those, uh,
packages sorted by priority code?
256
00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:52,423
Yeah.
257
00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,421
All right.
258
00:12:54,488 --> 00:12:56,220
I'll make a belt guy
out of you yet.
259
00:12:56,288 --> 00:12:57,887
Hey, I'm not a belt guy, ok?
260
00:12:57,954 --> 00:13:00,318
I'm a driver who's wearin'
a belt for 3 months.
261
00:13:00,386 --> 00:13:02,184
Ok, ok.
262
00:13:02,252 --> 00:13:03,718
Hey, belty!
263
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,616
Hey, so how's my truck lookin'?
264
00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:09,148
I... I need, like,
10 more minutes.
265
00:13:09,216 --> 00:13:11,648
Let me know when it's done.
I'm gonna grab some coffee.
266
00:13:11,715 --> 00:13:13,781
All right. Go have
your precious coffee.
267
00:13:13,848 --> 00:13:15,413
Yo, what's up with you, man?
268
00:13:15,479 --> 00:13:17,612
I... I didn't make
you fail the test.
269
00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,011
No, but you know what? You're the one
who said this whole thing was b.S.
270
00:13:20,077 --> 00:13:21,676
And that we should go play pool.
271
00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:23,476
Now all of a sudden, you're
drivin', and I'm loadin'.
272
00:13:23,544 --> 00:13:25,525
I guess I'm just wonderin'
how that all happened?
273
00:13:25,593 --> 00:13:27,690
I guess it happened
because I'm not a moron.
274
00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,956
So I took 5 minutes to
look at the manual.
275
00:13:30,024 --> 00:13:32,006
"Oh, Mr. O'Boyle, I love you,
276
00:13:32,074 --> 00:13:34,005
especially that part."
277
00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:35,637
Yeah. Yeah.
278
00:13:37,636 --> 00:13:40,935
I'm gonna assume that's
just the belt talkin', man.
279
00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:43,667
Look at that, Heffernan.
280
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,734
You finally got a
bra for your belly.
281
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:48,398
Give him a break, huh?
It's not easy for him
282
00:13:48,466 --> 00:13:49,965
when I'm drivin' his truck!
283
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,963
You guys are pretty
funny, you know that?
284
00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:54,830
You talk pretty tough,
but you know what?
285
00:13:54,897 --> 00:13:58,529
I don't hear anybody talkin' crap
up here on the loadin' dock.
286
00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:10,289
I don't see you up
here, applebow.
287
00:14:14,173 --> 00:14:17,720
Doug? Shouldn't you
be gettin' to work?
288
00:14:17,788 --> 00:14:20,236
Honey, why aren't you up yet?
289
00:14:20,304 --> 00:14:22,635
I don't feel good.
290
00:14:22,703 --> 00:14:23,801
What's wrong?
291
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:28,499
I got a cough here, and I...
I... I got chills,
292
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,115
and I threw up in
my throat a little.
293
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:34,247
You know, you feel
a little warm.
294
00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:36,929
Maybe you should
stay home from work.
295
00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,579
Ok.
296
00:14:38,646 --> 00:14:40,861
Good. I'll make you
some tea with honey.
297
00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,143
It'll help settle your stomach.
298
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,608
Say "ah."
299
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,141
Ah. There you go.
300
00:15:03,252 --> 00:15:04,850
Hello?
301
00:15:04,918 --> 00:15:07,016
Oh, hi, Mr. O'Boyle.
302
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:09,799
Uh, this is Doug's mother.
Uh-huh.
303
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,481
Ok. Um, he should call you
304
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:15,947
and tell you where last
month's t-11's are.
305
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,529
Got it. Oh, he's fine.
306
00:15:18,596 --> 00:15:21,811
He should be back behind
the wheel in a day or 2.
307
00:15:22,245 --> 00:15:23,460
What?
308
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:28,808
No, I was not aware of that.
309
00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:30,957
Don't go away. We'll
be right back
310
00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:34,322
with more of our flintstones
marathon after this.
311
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:38,169
Yabba-dabba-delightful.
312
00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,335
Doug!
313
00:15:43,404 --> 00:15:45,750
Uh, come in.
314
00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:48,383
Hello, dear. How was your toast?
315
00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,848
I got... I got it down.
316
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:55,746
I just had a very interesting
conversation with Mr. O'Boyle.
317
00:15:56,398 --> 00:15:58,113
Oh, God.
318
00:15:58,181 --> 00:16:01,545
I want you to know I am
very disappointed in you
319
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:05,009
not that you failed the test,
but that you lied to me.
320
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,375
I'm... I'm sorry I lied, but it's...
it's your fault.
321
00:16:07,443 --> 00:16:08,858
How is it my fault?
322
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,724
You got in my head,
tellin' me all that stuff
323
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:12,090
about how I'm a bad test taker.
324
00:16:12,158 --> 00:16:15,256
Did I tell you to go play
pool with your buddies?
325
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,705
No.
326
00:16:16,773 --> 00:16:18,271
What's goin' on in here?
327
00:16:18,338 --> 00:16:21,319
Joe, can I talk to you?
In private?
328
00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:23,552
Why don't you leave him alone?
He's sick.
329
00:16:23,554 --> 00:16:24,551
He's not sick.
330
00:16:24,619 --> 00:16:25,852
What do you mean?
331
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,817
He failed that test.
He was fakin' it.
332
00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:29,000
Oh, for cryin' out loud!
333
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,899
How does a driver
fail a driving test?
334
00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,315
Shh. Don't yell at him.
335
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,380
We're only gonna push
him further away.
336
00:16:34,448 --> 00:16:35,913
What is wrong with that kid?
337
00:16:35,998 --> 00:16:36,946
We had him tested.
338
00:16:37,014 --> 00:16:38,780
He's got a short attention span.
339
00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:41,428
Nah, that's just a fancy way
of sayin' that he's stupid.
340
00:16:41,496 --> 00:16:43,127
Hearing you!
341
00:16:51,991 --> 00:16:54,422
Ah, just the man
I wanted to see.
342
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,555
Hey, what's up?
343
00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:58,920
I have something to show you,
344
00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:01,354
vis-a-vis our conversation
the other day.
345
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,586
What?
346
00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:06,584
Meet the future.
347
00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:09,466
The prototype of the
Arthur's head screwdriver.
348
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,899
Oh. Oh, yeah.
349
00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,598
I fashioned it from an
old typewriter key.
350
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:18,947
You see, the letter "a"
on the screwdriver
351
00:17:19,013 --> 00:17:22,378
will fit into the
corresponding "a" hole
352
00:17:22,446 --> 00:17:24,777
in the "Arthur's" head screw.
353
00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,859
Cool.
354
00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:30,524
So, uh, how many units would
be an appropriate first order
355
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,991
for an item of this magnitude?
356
00:17:32,058 --> 00:17:33,224
I don't know.
357
00:17:33,292 --> 00:17:34,239
Ballpark.
358
00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:35,390
10,000? Really?
359
00:17:35,457 --> 00:17:37,888
My heart's beatin'
like a rabbit.
360
00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:41,320
We'll be in touch.
361
00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:47,151
Yahoo!
362
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:52,482
One other thing.
363
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,482
You guys gotta get your
paperwork straight.
364
00:17:54,550 --> 00:17:56,148
If you wanna get
paid your overtime,
365
00:17:56,215 --> 00:17:57,514
you gotta fill out all 3 forms:
366
00:17:57,582 --> 00:17:59,412
The pink, the blue,
and the green.
367
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,528
The pink goes in my box,
the blue goes upstairs,
368
00:18:01,596 --> 00:18:03,060
the green is for your files
369
00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:05,693
for those of you with
filing cabinets,
370
00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:07,609
which I'm guessing
is not too many.
371
00:18:07,677 --> 00:18:08,942
Hello.
372
00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:11,141
Can I help you?
373
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,207
I'm just here to see Douglas.
374
00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:15,173
I'm his mother.
375
00:18:16,773 --> 00:18:19,104
Well, I'm done here.
Back to work.
376
00:18:22,338 --> 00:18:23,836
Ma, what are you doing here?
377
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,168
You forgot your lunch.
378
00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:26,469
I gotta run, ok?
379
00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:27,802
Ok, fine. See you for dinner.
380
00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:28,967
No!
381
00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:31,367
Fine. Goodbye.
382
00:18:43,129 --> 00:18:45,693
Mom, no!
383
00:18:45,761 --> 00:18:48,992
The thing is, I don't think
Doug's performance on a test
384
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,675
is really indicative of
what he's capable of.
385
00:18:51,859 --> 00:18:53,158
I hope not.
386
00:18:53,226 --> 00:18:56,007
He got the lowest
score in the borough.
387
00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:58,439
Is there any way
388
00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:00,738
that Doug could take
that test again?
389
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:04,187
I don't know. He's really
supposed to wait 3 months.
390
00:19:04,305 --> 00:19:06,569
Mr. O'Boyle, do you
have children?
391
00:19:06,636 --> 00:19:09,100
A couple of boys, 17 and 2.
392
00:19:11,018 --> 00:19:12,717
Well, then, you must understand
393
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,165
as a parent what this is like.
394
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,781
Sometimes children
lose their way,
395
00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:20,280
and they need a helpin'
hand, you know?
396
00:19:20,348 --> 00:19:21,646
And I'm sure that you would want
397
00:19:21,714 --> 00:19:24,394
someone to do it for your boys.
398
00:19:24,462 --> 00:19:26,777
Yeah, well, maybe I can
work somethin' out,
399
00:19:26,844 --> 00:19:29,176
but if he fails the test again,
400
00:19:29,344 --> 00:19:30,975
I'm screwed to the wall.
401
00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:33,058
Believe me, Doug will
not take the test
402
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:35,873
so lightly this time,
will you, Doug?
403
00:19:36,224 --> 00:19:37,556
I won't.
404
00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:40,288
You won't what?
405
00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:43,236
I won't take the test
so lightly this time.
406
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,051
What is the minimum
tread depth for tires?
407
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,633
4/32 of an inch for
the front tires,
408
00:19:52,701 --> 00:19:54,833
2/32 of an inch for the rear.
409
00:19:54,835 --> 00:19:57,714
Very good! You're
gettin' there, kiddo!
410
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:02,113
Hey, we're gonna go
shoot some hoops.
411
00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:03,296
Doug.
412
00:20:05,113 --> 00:20:07,161
I gotta study.
413
00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:08,927
All right. L-later, man.
414
00:20:08,994 --> 00:20:10,160
Yeah. Oh, hey, uh,
415
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:11,825
could I use your
bathroom real quick?
416
00:20:11,893 --> 00:20:12,957
Oh, here we go again.
417
00:20:13,025 --> 00:20:15,157
You know, ok, that's it.
You know what?
418
00:20:15,224 --> 00:20:17,856
I... I didn't know you were
home that day, all right?
419
00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:20,939
Victoria principal was on
the cover of TV guide.
420
00:20:21,006 --> 00:20:23,070
Don't define me by one
moment of weakness.
421
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,553
Let me live!
422
00:20:26,387 --> 00:20:29,468
I'm sorry. You're right, son.
I apologize.
423
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,067
Thank you.
424
00:20:32,135 --> 00:20:34,633
Um, well, is it cool
if I use the bathroom?
425
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,715
I'd rather you didn't.
426
00:20:42,331 --> 00:20:43,445
Loser buys the wings.
427
00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:44,862
Gonna be you, sucker.
428
00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,012
Shotgun!
429
00:20:47,612 --> 00:20:49,510
Come on. We got more to do.
430
00:20:49,578 --> 00:20:50,943
Ok, where were we?
431
00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:53,059
Ah, chapter 4.
"Load management."
432
00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:56,657
Hello?
433
00:20:56,725 --> 00:20:59,723
I'm sorry. Doug can't
talk on the phone.
434
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:01,272
Because he can't socialize
435
00:21:01,339 --> 00:21:03,221
until he's finished
studying for his test.
436
00:21:03,289 --> 00:21:05,104
You'll have to call back.
437
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:08,119
All right, where were we?
Chapter 4.
438
00:21:09,952 --> 00:21:11,584
Hello?
439
00:21:11,652 --> 00:21:13,917
Can I speak to my
husband, please?
440
00:21:17,332 --> 00:21:20,148
All right. It's Carrie.
Make it quick.
441
00:21:20,215 --> 00:21:21,580
Hey.
442
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:24,063
You can't socialize?
443
00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:26,528
She's just mad at me 'cause
I failed my I.P.S. Test,
444
00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:27,728
and she had to go in there
445
00:21:27,795 --> 00:21:29,560
and get O'Boyle to
give me another shot,
446
00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:30,993
and now she won't let me
447
00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:33,775
play basketball with the
guys 'cause I gotta study.
448
00:21:33,843 --> 00:21:35,092
It sucks.
449
00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,506
What the hell is
going on over there?
450
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,338
Please come home.
451
00:21:52,818 --> 00:21:54,116
That's 3.
31974
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