All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S04E07 - Lyin Hearted (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:38,944 Hey, you know what they ought to bring back? 2 00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:40,114 Old-fashioned nurses. 3 00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:42,053 You know, the ones with really big breasts 4 00:00:42,121 --> 00:00:44,193 and low-cut uniforms. 5 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,917 My father is about to have heart surgery. 6 00:00:46,984 --> 00:00:48,722 And don't you think he'd like to wake up 7 00:00:48,791 --> 00:00:50,829 with a nice big pair of bosoms in his face? 8 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,136 Come here. Look, 9 00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,438 it's not even real heart surgery. 10 00:00:54,507 --> 00:00:56,145 It's angioplasty. 11 00:00:56,212 --> 00:00:57,615 Come on, let's read the pamphlet 12 00:00:57,684 --> 00:00:58,719 Dr. Davis gave you. 13 00:00:58,787 --> 00:01:00,122 No. It's stupid. It's not. 14 00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:01,928 It's about a little cartoon character 15 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:05,371 named Angie o'plasty. 16 00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:07,077 That worked out well, didn't it? 17 00:01:07,144 --> 00:01:09,183 Yeah, 'cause you meet a lot of people named o'plasty. 18 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:10,385 Oh, come on. 19 00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:12,358 She's a little heart with a bow in her hair. 20 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:13,561 She's adorable. 21 00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:14,766 If I were a little boy heart, 22 00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,290 I'd... I'd take a run at her. 23 00:01:17,357 --> 00:01:18,760 Just read. Ok, all right. 24 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,399 "Come along for a tour of the heart 25 00:01:20,466 --> 00:01:23,373 "with your special guide, Angie o' plasty. 26 00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:25,196 First stop, the groin." 27 00:01:25,264 --> 00:01:26,449 Whoa. 28 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,756 Wasn't expectin' that. 29 00:01:28,824 --> 00:01:29,826 Ok, let's see. 30 00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:31,448 But, th-the-the... Look, it's simple. 31 00:01:31,565 --> 00:01:33,337 They send a balloon into his heart vessel 32 00:01:33,405 --> 00:01:34,640 and blow it up. It's fun. 33 00:01:34,707 --> 00:01:36,311 It's like a... It's like a birthday party. 34 00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:38,351 Maybe they can make it into a poodle. 35 00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:42,530 He's gonna be ok, right? 36 00:01:42,597 --> 00:01:44,469 Yes, he's gonna be fine. 37 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:46,107 Look, he's gonna be better than fine. 38 00:01:46,175 --> 00:01:47,478 He's gonna be great. 39 00:01:47,546 --> 00:01:48,982 Could you float me a Buck? 40 00:01:49,050 --> 00:01:50,102 What? 41 00:01:50,170 --> 00:01:51,472 I'm kind of hungry. 42 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:52,910 That's a chipwich machine. 43 00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:55,351 I think you know where this is goin'. 44 00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:57,122 I used all my singles for parking. 45 00:01:57,191 --> 00:01:58,626 Come on. All I got is a $100 bill. 46 00:01:58,694 --> 00:01:59,964 All right, you know what? 47 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,870 You work on your little problem over there, 48 00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:03,909 and I'm gonna go ask the doctor a few more questions 49 00:02:03,977 --> 00:02:05,915 I won't understand the answers to. 50 00:02:05,982 --> 00:02:08,122 Blue team to I.C.U., please. 51 00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:09,993 Blue team, I.C.U. 52 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,606 Hey. I know you. 53 00:02:14,674 --> 00:02:16,763 You deliver for I.P.S., right? 54 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:17,800 Yeah. 55 00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:19,471 You don't recognize me, do you? 56 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,925 Here, maybe this will help you. 57 00:02:22,131 --> 00:02:23,133 Huh. 58 00:02:27,094 --> 00:02:28,798 S-s-still not gettin' it. 59 00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:30,604 I'm lookin' through a peephole, guy. 60 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,042 Oh. Oh, ok. 61 00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:34,015 Come on, you deliver to me all the time. 62 00:02:34,082 --> 00:02:35,518 225 Jewel Avenue. 63 00:02:35,587 --> 00:02:36,956 Oh, wait a second. 64 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,661 I can... I can see the name on the package. 65 00:02:38,729 --> 00:02:39,664 F. Moynihan. 66 00:02:39,732 --> 00:02:40,667 You got it. 67 00:02:40,734 --> 00:02:41,736 Oh, man. Hey! 68 00:02:41,805 --> 00:02:43,307 Hey. 69 00:02:43,376 --> 00:02:45,180 Can I tell you something? 70 00:02:45,247 --> 00:02:46,618 You're great. 71 00:02:48,524 --> 00:02:49,594 Uh, I am? 72 00:02:49,661 --> 00:02:50,897 Well, I mean, when you deliver, 73 00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,301 you're a pleasure to deal with. 74 00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:55,510 I mean, you enjoy your job, and... and it shows. 75 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,620 Wow. Well, thanks, 76 00:02:58,687 --> 00:02:59,924 f. 77 00:03:01,178 --> 00:03:02,847 So, what are you... What are you in for? 78 00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:04,553 Oh, I got a little, uh, tummy trouble. 79 00:03:04,621 --> 00:03:05,890 Just in for a little checkup. 80 00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,228 Oh, sorry to hear that. 81 00:03:07,296 --> 00:03:08,331 Hey, speakin' of tummies, 82 00:03:08,399 --> 00:03:09,668 I'm tryin' to get a chipwich. 83 00:03:09,735 --> 00:03:12,076 Any, uh, chance you got change of a $100? 84 00:03:12,143 --> 00:03:13,312 You know somethin'? 85 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,652 This is on me. 86 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:16,789 Really? 87 00:03:16,856 --> 00:03:18,059 You betcha. 88 00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:20,031 Oh, wow, man. Thanks. I really appreciate that. 89 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,168 And you know what? 90 00:03:21,237 --> 00:03:22,439 If you ever need anything, 91 00:03:22,507 --> 00:03:24,612 here is my card. 92 00:03:24,679 --> 00:03:26,684 Wow. Jeez, you guys get your own cards, huh? 93 00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:28,123 Yeah, we're not really sure why. 94 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,459 Hey, you know what? 95 00:03:29,528 --> 00:03:31,499 Maybe for situations just like this. 96 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:35,544 Well, for all the deliveries you brought to me, 97 00:03:35,612 --> 00:03:38,453 allow me to deliver this to you. 98 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:41,728 Hey, where do I sign? 99 00:03:43,835 --> 00:03:44,904 Delightful. 100 00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:53,597 Hey! 101 00:03:53,664 --> 00:03:54,985 Daddy, you look great. 102 00:03:55,052 --> 00:03:56,656 Hey, who's up for a little angioplasty? 103 00:03:56,723 --> 00:03:58,829 Hey, got a taker right here. 104 00:03:58,897 --> 00:04:00,366 I think you've dislodged my I.V. 105 00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:01,737 Be a love and try to find it 106 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,074 before I expire. 107 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:04,880 Dad, come on. You're gonna be fine. 108 00:04:04,948 --> 00:04:07,086 So, you ok? You need anything? 109 00:04:07,154 --> 00:04:08,757 Actually, could you stop home 110 00:04:08,775 --> 00:04:10,345 and pick up my sleep mask? 111 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,683 Sure. Where is it? 112 00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,656 I'm not sure. I haven't used it in a while, 113 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,859 since you've got me sleeping 114 00:04:14,927 --> 00:04:16,630 in a windowless basement. 115 00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:18,854 We'll find it. 116 00:04:18,922 --> 00:04:21,428 Also, and this is important, 117 00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:23,685 when I'm under, 118 00:04:23,753 --> 00:04:27,061 please see to it they don't circumcise me. 119 00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:35,819 They're not gonna circumcise you. 120 00:04:35,888 --> 00:04:37,074 Excuse me, 121 00:04:37,142 --> 00:04:39,848 what is the name of this hospital? 122 00:04:41,203 --> 00:04:42,974 Forest Hills Jewish. 123 00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:46,770 Enough said. 124 00:04:48,224 --> 00:04:49,326 Excuse me, kids, 125 00:04:49,395 --> 00:04:51,399 I just need to do some prep work on your dad. 126 00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:52,686 Here we go. 127 00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:54,458 Whoa. 128 00:04:56,231 --> 00:04:58,303 Dad, listen to me. 129 00:04:58,371 --> 00:05:00,074 I know you're a little scared, 130 00:05:00,142 --> 00:05:01,612 but you're gonna be fine. 131 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,139 You're gonna live a very long time with us 132 00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:07,095 in our home. 133 00:05:07,163 --> 00:05:09,285 Apparently, it's what God intended. 134 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,756 Ok? 135 00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:11,926 Ok. All right. 136 00:05:20,368 --> 00:05:22,407 All righty, we'll see you later, ok? 137 00:05:26,253 --> 00:05:28,039 His sleep mask isn't here. 138 00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:30,630 Can't we just give him some duct tape? 139 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,868 Honey, could you look up there? 140 00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:33,974 I got to tell ya, car, I'm still a little rattled 141 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,729 by what I found in that cigar box. 142 00:05:35,797 --> 00:05:37,417 All right, come on. Shake it off. 143 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,655 Look up there. 144 00:05:39,257 --> 00:05:41,094 All right. 145 00:05:41,162 --> 00:05:43,969 Ok, uh, I'm touching something moist, 146 00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:45,374 and hand coming down now. 147 00:05:45,442 --> 00:05:47,279 Ooh, look... look, there's a box right there. 148 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,717 Bring that box down. Right there. 149 00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:53,765 Oh, God, the whole box is moist, too. 150 00:05:54,703 --> 00:05:55,904 What's this? 151 00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:57,141 What is it? 152 00:05:57,812 --> 00:05:59,013 Look at this. 153 00:05:59,081 --> 00:06:01,755 This is a scrapbook of all my old stuff. 154 00:06:02,659 --> 00:06:03,761 Look at that. 155 00:06:03,829 --> 00:06:06,770 My... my finger paintings, my report cards. 156 00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:10,280 I can't believe he kept all this stuff. 157 00:06:10,348 --> 00:06:13,523 Ok, now I really want him to live. 158 00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:15,997 This crap is not comin' off my finger. 159 00:06:16,064 --> 00:06:19,306 Oh, look, my first-grade picture. 160 00:06:19,374 --> 00:06:20,944 Look at my pigtails. 161 00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:22,465 Woof. 162 00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:27,780 Looks like you had a bad case of mono-nucle-ugly. 163 00:06:27,849 --> 00:06:29,619 I just made that up this second, I swear. 164 00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:30,890 I can't believe it. 165 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,628 I almost want to cry. 166 00:06:34,385 --> 00:06:35,821 Wait a second. 167 00:06:35,889 --> 00:06:36,991 What is this? 168 00:06:37,058 --> 00:06:38,362 What? 169 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:41,571 It's an acceptance letter from Florida state. 170 00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:43,411 I didn't know you got into Florida state. 171 00:06:43,479 --> 00:06:45,182 Neither did I. I never saw this before. 172 00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,419 What do you mean? 173 00:06:46,487 --> 00:06:48,626 I mean I never saw this letter before. 174 00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:50,531 I applied. I really wanted to go. 175 00:06:50,599 --> 00:06:52,002 I never heard back. 176 00:06:52,069 --> 00:06:53,974 I... I just assumed they... they rejected me 177 00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:55,646 like every other college, 178 00:06:55,714 --> 00:06:57,752 and that beauty school. 179 00:06:59,057 --> 00:07:00,594 He must've hid this from me. 180 00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:01,764 Why would he do that? 181 00:07:01,832 --> 00:07:03,469 I don't know. I don't know. 182 00:07:03,537 --> 00:07:05,006 Look at this. 183 00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,511 It's a pros and cons list 184 00:07:06,579 --> 00:07:08,985 about whether I should go or not. 185 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:10,423 "Pro: Better life for her. 186 00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:12,428 Con: Worse life for me." 187 00:07:13,131 --> 00:07:14,267 Well, that's good. 188 00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:16,273 That-that's some great parenting right there. 189 00:07:16,341 --> 00:07:17,510 "Pro: Sunshine. 190 00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:20,854 Con: Burt Reynolds dinner theater." 191 00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:22,558 This is crazy. 192 00:07:22,626 --> 00:07:24,296 Actually, my parents saw Evita there 193 00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,837 and loved it. 194 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,877 Now I-if I would've gone to this school, 195 00:07:28,944 --> 00:07:30,581 I... I could've gotten a degree. 196 00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:31,985 I could've gotten out of queens. 197 00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:33,792 My whole life would have been different. 198 00:07:33,859 --> 00:07:35,798 Well, your life turned out ok, didn't it? 199 00:07:35,865 --> 00:07:37,937 Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 200 00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:41,781 I am gonna kill him. 201 00:07:41,849 --> 00:07:44,355 I am gonna go down to that hospital right now, 202 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,625 and I'm gonna kill him. 203 00:07:45,694 --> 00:07:46,963 Would you take it easy? 204 00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,367 Look, you have every right to be mad, 205 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,172 but he's going in for heart surgery, ok? 206 00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:51,878 So you can't do anything about it now. 207 00:07:51,946 --> 00:07:52,948 But I'm gonna... Shh. 208 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,668 Kill. Shh. 209 00:07:54,736 --> 00:07:56,340 More importantly, we got to think about other things. 210 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:58,915 Like what the hell is on my finger? 211 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,232 Hey, we're back. How ya doin'? 212 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,122 I'm pretty sure they drugged me. 213 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,729 You're goin' in for surgery. 214 00:08:09,797 --> 00:08:10,933 They're supposed to drug you. 215 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,357 You are one dumb bunny. 216 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,981 Here you go. 217 00:08:16,048 --> 00:08:19,808 Brought you your sleep mask and some clean pajamas. 218 00:08:22,584 --> 00:08:23,753 Yeah, hello? 219 00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:25,125 Uh-huh. 220 00:08:25,994 --> 00:08:27,096 Ok, sure. 221 00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:29,169 You know what? They need me down at admitting. 222 00:08:29,238 --> 00:08:30,624 Must be about billing or somethin'. 223 00:08:30,691 --> 00:08:31,944 I'll go. What? 224 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,215 No, I can take care of it. 225 00:08:33,282 --> 00:08:34,318 Oh, honey. 226 00:08:34,386 --> 00:08:35,922 Don't leave me alone with him, ok? 227 00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,393 I might... I might hurt him. 228 00:08:37,461 --> 00:08:39,099 Come on. I'm serious. 229 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,606 I could pull a rubber glove over his head. 230 00:08:41,674 --> 00:08:44,079 You see? I already have a plan. 231 00:08:44,147 --> 00:08:45,250 You're gonna be fine. 232 00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:46,587 No! 233 00:08:47,223 --> 00:08:48,927 What, no magazines? 234 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,872 You didn't ask for magazines. 235 00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:56,047 Didn't realize I had to ask for the obvious. 236 00:08:57,687 --> 00:08:58,639 Sorry. 237 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,781 Are you Mr. Heffernan? 238 00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:03,386 Uh, yeah. 239 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,823 Please, please, have a seat. 240 00:09:04,891 --> 00:09:06,395 Ok. 241 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,282 My name is Dr. berger. 242 00:09:13,350 --> 00:09:14,920 Mmm-hmm. 243 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,324 How are ya? 244 00:09:16,392 --> 00:09:18,764 I'm afraid that Mr. moynihan's condition 245 00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:20,503 I-is quite a bit more serious 246 00:09:20,571 --> 00:09:22,442 than we first thought. 247 00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:24,766 M-Mr. m-moynihan? F. Moynihan? 248 00:09:24,833 --> 00:09:25,802 Yes... yes. 249 00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:27,975 You see, he has a volvulus, 250 00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:30,582 which in layman's terms is a twisted colon. 251 00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:31,852 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 252 00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:33,926 Now, I'm afraid that we're gonna have to perform 253 00:09:33,993 --> 00:09:35,697 emergency surgery on him immediately. 254 00:09:35,765 --> 00:09:37,101 Mmm. 255 00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:39,692 And why are you telling me this exactly? 256 00:09:39,761 --> 00:09:42,701 Well, you are Mr. moynihan's emergency contact. 257 00:09:42,768 --> 00:09:45,443 Now, we haven't broken the news to him yet. 258 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:47,615 We... well, we feel it's best 259 00:09:47,683 --> 00:09:49,554 for a loved one to be present. 260 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,624 No, the thing is, uh... 261 00:09:50,692 --> 00:09:51,728 Hey! 262 00:09:51,795 --> 00:09:53,532 Did you happen to see 263 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,244 the best I.P.S. Guy in the world? 264 00:10:08,929 --> 00:10:10,098 Mr. Spooner, 265 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,769 we're about ready for your procedure. 266 00:10:11,837 --> 00:10:13,792 They'll be in, in a few minutes to wheel you down. 267 00:10:13,859 --> 00:10:15,229 Ok. Thank you. 268 00:10:18,657 --> 00:10:20,763 Darling, can you say a few words with me? 269 00:10:20,831 --> 00:10:21,966 Hmm? 270 00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:23,671 I'm about to have heart surgery. 271 00:10:23,739 --> 00:10:25,008 I figure it can't hurt 272 00:10:25,076 --> 00:10:26,513 to talk to the man upstairs. 273 00:10:26,581 --> 00:10:28,519 Oh. Ok. 274 00:10:30,425 --> 00:10:31,661 Just so you understand, 275 00:10:31,729 --> 00:10:33,851 "man upstairs" is a euphemism for God. 276 00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:35,505 I know. I just didn't want you 277 00:10:35,573 --> 00:10:37,227 running upstairs lookin' for some other man. 278 00:10:37,295 --> 00:10:38,833 Thank you. 279 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,012 Dear God, 280 00:10:43,079 --> 00:10:46,923 please help me get through my heart procedure, 281 00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:50,835 and please make sure they don't circumcise me. 282 00:10:52,022 --> 00:10:54,327 Special emphasis on the latter. 283 00:10:55,749 --> 00:10:56,985 Amen. 284 00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:58,456 Amen. 285 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:01,264 Uh, dad, since you're prayin', 286 00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:03,237 now may be a good time to confess anything 287 00:11:03,305 --> 00:11:04,641 that may be bothering you. 288 00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:07,417 Anything you think you've done wrong. 289 00:11:09,255 --> 00:11:10,492 Mmm, no. 290 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:11,612 No? 291 00:11:11,746 --> 00:11:12,765 'Cause I was thinkin', 292 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,035 oh, I don't know, um, 293 00:11:14,104 --> 00:11:16,944 anything that you did in world war ii, 294 00:11:17,012 --> 00:11:20,153 or, say, when I was a senior in high school? 295 00:11:20,923 --> 00:11:21,975 Oh. 296 00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:23,395 Mmm. 297 00:11:23,464 --> 00:11:24,382 Oh. 298 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,753 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 299 00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:28,846 That boy you liked, Dennis paretto? 300 00:11:29,766 --> 00:11:31,586 He called you once, 301 00:11:31,604 --> 00:11:33,626 and I never told you about it. 302 00:11:35,399 --> 00:11:36,751 What? 303 00:11:37,605 --> 00:11:39,242 He burped into the phone. 304 00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:40,814 He claimed it was an accident. 305 00:11:40,881 --> 00:11:42,384 I didn't buy it. 306 00:11:43,488 --> 00:11:45,828 Dennis paretto? 307 00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:49,957 The guy I was in love with for, like, 3 years. 308 00:11:50,025 --> 00:11:52,214 He called, and you didn't tell me? 309 00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:53,985 I'm terribly sorry. 310 00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:56,108 Thank you for making me 311 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:58,398 clear my conscience, sweetheart. 312 00:11:59,368 --> 00:12:01,273 I feel much better now. 313 00:12:03,213 --> 00:12:04,834 Glad I can help. 314 00:12:06,238 --> 00:12:08,712 Ok, now here's what I don't like. 315 00:12:09,347 --> 00:12:10,550 You see the way 316 00:12:10,618 --> 00:12:13,008 the colon sort of twists around itself? 317 00:12:13,712 --> 00:12:15,348 Not really. 318 00:12:15,416 --> 00:12:17,320 Well, you see it there, Doug? 319 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,159 Not really. No. 320 00:12:19,227 --> 00:12:20,831 Well, the good news is, 321 00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:23,371 I think we caught it early enough. 322 00:12:23,439 --> 00:12:25,812 Anyway, I'll give you two a few minutes alone. 323 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,149 Uh. Uh. 324 00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,404 Twisted colon. 325 00:12:34,472 --> 00:12:36,476 That doesn't sound so bad. 326 00:12:37,414 --> 00:12:38,950 Hey, twisty! 327 00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:42,929 So you put me down as your emergency contact, huh? 328 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,836 Yeah, I got your number off the card you gave me. 329 00:12:45,905 --> 00:12:47,742 I didn't think they'd have to use it. 330 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,281 Oh! Whoa! 331 00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,560 Wow, that is twisted. 332 00:12:56,854 --> 00:12:57,889 Um, 333 00:13:00,498 --> 00:13:01,900 I, uh, 334 00:13:01,969 --> 00:13:03,472 I... I really gotta get goin', 'cause, my, uh, 335 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,311 father-in-law has got a thing of his own. 336 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:06,999 Ok. Bye, Doug. 337 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,453 God bless you. 338 00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:12,900 Uh, is there anyone 339 00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:14,704 you want me to call for you? Or... 340 00:13:14,772 --> 00:13:17,145 No. You're my emergency contact. 341 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,583 There is nobody else. 342 00:13:18,650 --> 00:13:19,987 Pretty pathetic, huh? 343 00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:21,524 No, no. I mean, 344 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,996 I'll tell you who has a rough time 345 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,433 gettin' emergency contacts. 346 00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:26,639 Amish people. No phones, huh? 347 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,751 Uh, amish people have phones. 348 00:13:30,819 --> 00:13:32,808 I don't think they do. 349 00:13:32,876 --> 00:13:34,412 Well, even if they don't have phones, 350 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,917 let me tell you what they do have. 351 00:13:35,985 --> 00:13:37,823 They have family and friends that love 'em. 352 00:13:37,891 --> 00:13:39,226 Hey, not necessarily. 353 00:13:39,294 --> 00:13:41,800 I bet you there are some very nasty amish people out there. 354 00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:44,091 Doug, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me here, 355 00:13:44,159 --> 00:13:46,497 but I think we both know that amish people 356 00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:48,220 are pretty great. 357 00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:52,147 Well, so are you. 358 00:13:54,473 --> 00:13:55,507 Hey, Doug? 359 00:13:55,575 --> 00:13:57,329 Can we go hold the pre-mies? 360 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,128 I'm... I'm sorry? 361 00:14:02,195 --> 00:14:04,350 The premature babies down in the nursery. 362 00:14:04,418 --> 00:14:06,188 The human contact helps them grow and... 363 00:14:06,257 --> 00:14:08,261 Well, I think connecting with life in that way 364 00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:09,967 might make me feel a whole lot better. 365 00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:12,708 Plus, they smell really good. 366 00:14:12,776 --> 00:14:14,947 Uh, I... I... I can't, 'cause I... I have a thing 367 00:14:15,015 --> 00:14:16,953 I gotta run to. My father-in-law, so... 368 00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:19,026 Hey... hey, you... you enjoyed the chipwich 369 00:14:19,093 --> 00:14:20,832 that I got you, right? 370 00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:25,512 Uh, yeah. 371 00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:26,899 Oh, good, good. You know what? 372 00:14:26,968 --> 00:14:28,337 L-let me pay you back for that. 373 00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:29,440 Oh, no, come on. 374 00:14:29,508 --> 00:14:30,594 No, I owe you a dollar. 375 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,265 No, you do not owe me anything. 376 00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,870 Uh, there you go. We are all square, 377 00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:36,411 so now nobody owes anybody anything, ok? 378 00:14:36,479 --> 00:14:38,417 And this is so not a big deal. 379 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:39,854 Nice picture, though, huh? 380 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,495 I should have got that guy for my wedding. 381 00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:45,102 Ok, take care now. Hey, twisty! 382 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:50,719 Dennis paretto. 383 00:14:50,787 --> 00:14:52,591 How could my father not have told me 384 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,530 that Dennis paretto called? 385 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:56,837 I don't know. 386 00:14:57,539 --> 00:14:58,943 I really liked him. 387 00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:01,251 He was... He was really nice, 388 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,353 very good-looking, 389 00:15:02,421 --> 00:15:04,259 and you know what he does now? 390 00:15:04,327 --> 00:15:06,331 He owns a chain of very successful dry-cleaning stores. 391 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,802 All right, you know what, Carrie? 392 00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:09,173 This is really startin' to hurt. 393 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,611 Uh, this is not about you, ok? 394 00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:11,814 Well, it's annoying, Carrie. 395 00:15:11,882 --> 00:15:13,319 Now you're running off to Florida, 396 00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:14,956 you're married to a guy named Dennis. 397 00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:16,395 I'm just not sure where I fit in. 398 00:15:16,462 --> 00:15:18,734 Oh, you fit in. You fit in just fine. 399 00:15:18,802 --> 00:15:20,071 Oh, but then 400 00:15:20,139 --> 00:15:21,342 he's got me furious at him 401 00:15:21,411 --> 00:15:23,181 at the very moment I should be feeling 402 00:15:23,248 --> 00:15:25,888 love and kindness! 403 00:15:25,956 --> 00:15:27,928 All right, I just gotta get back to a loving place. 404 00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:31,807 I just gotta picture him lying there, 405 00:15:31,874 --> 00:15:33,411 weak and helpless, 406 00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:36,887 going through the most traumatic experience of his life. 407 00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:41,133 I got nothin'. I'm dead inside. 408 00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:44,443 You know what might help? A chipwich. 409 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,749 I don't want a chipwich. 410 00:15:46,818 --> 00:15:48,689 Look, you want a chipwich. 411 00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:51,430 And more importantly, I want a chipwich. 412 00:15:51,865 --> 00:15:52,900 Uh-oh. 413 00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,673 What? 414 00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:57,179 Oh, no. I think I accidentally gave my $100 to f. Moynihan 415 00:15:57,249 --> 00:15:58,384 when I was payin' him back. 416 00:15:58,452 --> 00:15:59,888 Who? 417 00:15:59,956 --> 00:16:02,061 The guy who bought me a chipwich before. Crap! 418 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,281 Wait a second. 419 00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:05,538 His surgery was scheduled for 3:00. 420 00:16:05,606 --> 00:16:07,410 He should be out soon. 421 00:16:11,673 --> 00:16:13,829 God, the waiting is unbearable! 422 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:16,788 Mrs. Heffernan? 423 00:16:16,855 --> 00:16:18,527 Yes. Hi. So? 424 00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:19,963 Your dad did great. 425 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:21,836 In fact, there was less blockage than we thought. 426 00:16:21,904 --> 00:16:22,872 Ok. 427 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,975 He's resting now, 428 00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,547 so you can go see him if you like. 429 00:16:25,614 --> 00:16:27,586 Ok, thanks again. That's good. 430 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,358 All right. Come on, honey. 431 00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:30,963 You know what? I-I'll be right there. 432 00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,333 Ok. 433 00:16:36,179 --> 00:16:38,217 Uh, Dr. berger? 434 00:16:38,285 --> 00:16:40,256 Oh. Well, hello, Doug. 435 00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:41,326 How's he doin'? 436 00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:42,831 The operation went well. 437 00:16:42,899 --> 00:16:44,603 Oh, thank God. 438 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,974 Thank God. 439 00:16:46,743 --> 00:16:47,879 Can I see him? 440 00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:49,917 Yes. Now, you should know 441 00:16:49,986 --> 00:16:52,158 that we did find a perforation of the bowel, 442 00:16:52,226 --> 00:16:53,362 which we've taken care of, 443 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,431 but, of course, 444 00:16:54,499 --> 00:16:56,103 there's always a chance of infection. 445 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:57,507 Now, do you have any questions? 446 00:16:57,574 --> 00:16:59,112 Uh-huh. 447 00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:01,068 Are his pants with him? 448 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,336 Hi. 449 00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:09,809 Hi. These just came for him 450 00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:12,149 "from the boys down at the senior center." 451 00:17:12,217 --> 00:17:14,055 Ok. Thank you. 452 00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:54,524 You see? 453 00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:56,061 You see what I'm doing here? 454 00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:57,533 I... I threw out your flowers. 455 00:17:57,601 --> 00:17:59,138 I shouldn't do that. 456 00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:01,611 Those came for you. 457 00:18:01,679 --> 00:18:03,367 But you know what? 458 00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:05,522 That acceptance letter from Florida state 459 00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:07,027 came for me. 460 00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:09,484 Dennis paretto called for me. 461 00:18:09,552 --> 00:18:10,921 So it actually felt really good 462 00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,025 to throw out your flowers. 463 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,361 It felt 464 00:18:14,031 --> 00:18:15,501 really good. 465 00:18:17,057 --> 00:18:18,577 What else you got goin' on here? 466 00:18:18,645 --> 00:18:20,449 Let's see. Ooh. 467 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,321 Rice pudding. 468 00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:25,999 Oh, you love rice pudding. 469 00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:27,570 Yeah. 470 00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:29,492 Mmm. 471 00:18:30,128 --> 00:18:31,548 Delicious. 472 00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:33,956 You don't know what you're missing. 473 00:18:34,877 --> 00:18:36,864 Mmm. Yeah, baby. 474 00:18:37,901 --> 00:18:39,856 Ok, this is putrid. 475 00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:42,413 Do you see what you got me doing here? 476 00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,751 I am throwing out your flowers 477 00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:45,891 and eating old-people food just so you can't have it. 478 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,581 That's how much I hate you. That's how much. 479 00:18:50,455 --> 00:18:51,707 Oh, my God. 480 00:18:52,026 --> 00:18:52,995 Daddy? 481 00:18:53,063 --> 00:18:55,235 It's ok, sweetheart. 482 00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:58,009 That happens sometimes when we first plug it in. 483 00:19:03,978 --> 00:19:05,782 Thank you. 484 00:19:07,387 --> 00:19:09,961 And, uh, all the balloons. 485 00:20:14,199 --> 00:20:16,004 Doug? 486 00:20:16,072 --> 00:20:17,893 Are you robbing me? 487 00:20:18,997 --> 00:20:21,069 No. No, I was just, uh, 488 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,676 feeling your pants. 489 00:20:23,745 --> 00:20:25,850 What are these, denim? 490 00:20:25,918 --> 00:20:27,605 Yes, they are. 491 00:20:27,673 --> 00:20:31,049 So, can we hold the pre-mies now? 492 00:20:31,116 --> 00:20:33,488 Sh... sh-sure, buddy, we can... 493 00:20:33,556 --> 00:20:35,127 We can go hold the pre-mies. 494 00:20:35,195 --> 00:20:36,297 Great. 495 00:20:36,364 --> 00:20:38,403 First help me go to the bathroom? 496 00:20:44,338 --> 00:20:45,540 Carrie? 497 00:20:45,608 --> 00:20:46,810 Hey. 498 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:48,884 You're fine. 499 00:20:48,951 --> 00:20:50,756 Everything went great. 500 00:20:50,823 --> 00:20:51,993 Wonderful. 501 00:20:53,298 --> 00:20:55,102 Is all this for me? 502 00:20:55,169 --> 00:20:56,739 Yep. 503 00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:57,910 All for you. 504 00:20:57,978 --> 00:20:59,247 Wow. 505 00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:02,457 Actually, I'm just happy you're here. 506 00:21:02,524 --> 00:21:05,215 I was a little afraid of waking up alone. 507 00:21:05,283 --> 00:21:07,020 Well, you're not alone. 508 00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:08,724 Thank you, darling. 509 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,640 That's the view I'm lookin' for. 510 00:21:24,422 --> 00:21:26,645 ♪ What a dream I had 511 00:21:27,615 --> 00:21:30,756 ♪ pressed in organdy 512 00:21:30,824 --> 00:21:34,149 ♪ clothed in crinoline 513 00:21:34,151 --> 00:21:37,308 ♪ of smoky burgundy 514 00:21:37,377 --> 00:21:42,273 ♪ softer than the rain 515 00:21:42,341 --> 00:21:44,496 ♪ I wandered empty streets 516 00:21:48,793 --> 00:21:51,969 ♪ I heard cathedral bells 517 00:21:55,764 --> 00:22:00,677 ♪ oh, I love you, girl 34202

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