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1
00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:34,266
What are you doin'?
2
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,201
I'm sittin' over here today.
3
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,302
Why?
4
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,770
I don't know. I never sit here.
5
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,672
It's a new perspective.
6
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:43,375
Whatever.
7
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:03,228
Ok, enough. Could you
just come sit over here?
8
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,930
I want to stay here. I like it.
9
00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:08,099
♪ Do-do-do-do- do-do-dai ♪
10
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,269
I got a new seat.
11
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:11,903
♪ Da-da-ba-da-ba-da ♪
12
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,739
Ok, fine.
13
00:01:14,807 --> 00:01:15,840
Ahem.
14
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,249
Ah, this is nice.
15
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,321
You can be so petty sometimes.
16
00:01:46,108 --> 00:01:49,543
Oh, my God, could
it be any hotter?
17
00:01:49,611 --> 00:01:52,313
Brutal. Come here, this
helps a little, come here.
18
00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:00,687
So, how was your day?
19
00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:02,356
It was good. How was yours?
20
00:02:02,424 --> 00:02:04,358
It was good.
21
00:02:04,426 --> 00:02:07,094
Ooh, "zesty Parmesan."
When did you get that?
22
00:02:07,162 --> 00:02:08,762
Last time I went shopping.
23
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,564
I also got those
vegetable potstickers.
24
00:02:10,632 --> 00:02:12,199
Do you like those?
25
00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,800
Mmm, not so much.
26
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,336
Oh.
27
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,538
Ok, I think I'm
getting freezer burn.
28
00:02:20,108 --> 00:02:22,276
Honey, tell me,
29
00:02:22,344 --> 00:02:24,811
do I have the word
"pushover" on my forehead?
30
00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:29,983
No. But you do have
some kind of sauce.
31
00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:32,019
You're not gonna believe this.
32
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,455
This afternoon, I was at
that cute little spot
33
00:02:34,523 --> 00:02:37,024
where I like to throw bread
crumbs to the birds.
34
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:37,991
Petland?
35
00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:39,126
Right.
36
00:02:39,194 --> 00:02:41,228
So, right next door
at the thrift shop,
37
00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:43,130
I saw this beautiful armoire
38
00:02:43,198 --> 00:02:44,698
which would be
perfect for my room,
39
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:45,799
so I bought it.
40
00:02:45,867 --> 00:02:47,968
Oh, good. Maybe now you
can unroll your suits
41
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:49,102
and hang 'em up.
42
00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:50,171
Not so fast.
43
00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,473
This is where the story
takes an ugly turn.
44
00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,275
After we agreed on the price,
45
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,177
he drops a delivery
charge on me.
46
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:59,547
15 bananas! That's
a lot of clams.
47
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,549
Dad, that's nothing.
Just pay it.
48
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,584
Oh, I'm not gonna do that.
49
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,352
The deal was made
and he reneged!
50
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:06,587
I mean, what am I?
51
00:03:06,655 --> 00:03:09,089
A sap, a sucker, a
butter-and-egg man?
52
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,826
Douglas, what are the
chances I could borrow
53
00:03:12,894 --> 00:03:14,461
your delivery truck
tomorrow, huh?
54
00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:17,398
Mmm, I'm thinking somewhere
in the zero range.
55
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:19,966
Uh-huh. Wednesday, then?
56
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,802
Arthur, let me explain
something to you.
57
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,170
The truck doesn't belong to me,
58
00:03:23,238 --> 00:03:25,372
it belongs to the
international parcel service.
59
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,675
That's why you couldn't borrow
it for your paper route,
60
00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:29,677
and that's why you can't
borrow it for this.
61
00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,645
Dad, look, here's $15.
62
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:34,181
Just have them deliver it.
Please.
63
00:03:34,249 --> 00:03:36,383
Oh, that would be
easy, wouldn't it?
64
00:03:36,451 --> 00:03:39,286
Yes. Easy. Easy is good.
65
00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:41,888
Sorry, sweetheart, but
if I took your money
66
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:44,758
I would never be able to
face the man in the mirror.
67
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,530
The scary thing is,
68
00:03:49,598 --> 00:03:51,699
he's not talking about himself.
69
00:03:53,468 --> 00:03:54,801
♪ Just a little bit ♪
70
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:57,037
♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪
71
00:03:57,105 --> 00:03:59,139
♪ Find out what we're gonna be ♪
72
00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:02,476
♪ R-e-s-b-b-b-b,
everybody's in my tree ♪
73
00:04:02,544 --> 00:04:03,877
♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪
74
00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:05,312
♪ sock it to me, sock it to me ♪
75
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,080
♪ a little respect
76
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:09,316
♪ whoa, babe, a little respect ♪
77
00:04:09,384 --> 00:04:10,651
♪ just a little bit ♪
78
00:04:10,719 --> 00:04:11,752
♪ talking 'bout ♪
79
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:12,986
♪ just a little bit ♪
80
00:04:13,054 --> 00:04:14,321
♪ keep on tryin' ♪
81
00:04:14,389 --> 00:04:15,922
♪ just a little bit ♪
82
00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:22,829
Give us a break, will you?
83
00:04:22,897 --> 00:04:25,332
We only got one good
hip between us!
84
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,935
Lift with your legs.
85
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,639
Oh, don't tell me how to lift.
86
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,788
Well, it seems as though
fate took a hand, huh?
87
00:04:48,623 --> 00:04:49,856
Yeah.
88
00:04:49,924 --> 00:04:51,592
It would've been
simpler if you agreed
89
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,294
to move my armoire
in the first place,
90
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,829
but it's a good
lesson for next time.
91
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,798
Cookie?
92
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,132
Don't mind if I do.
93
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,535
Mickey, I told you to
stop opening packages.
94
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:04,772
Oh, did ya? This
hearing aid is crap.
95
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,442
I heard "stop making sausages."
96
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,177
And why would I say that?
97
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:13,280
Heffernan!
98
00:05:13,348 --> 00:05:14,615
What the hell is going on?
99
00:05:14,683 --> 00:05:16,116
I'm getting calls left and right
100
00:05:16,184 --> 00:05:17,984
from customers waiting
for drop-offs.
101
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,820
What's that? That
Howard stern fella?
102
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,523
It's Howard stern. He's
talking directly to me.
103
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,291
I'm sorry supervisor O'Boyle,
104
00:05:24,359 --> 00:05:26,560
see, I got caught up in a
little unexpected delay.
105
00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:27,661
Delay?
106
00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,129
Yeah, the thing is I... I...
107
00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:31,332
I... I... I... I don't
give a flying crap.
108
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,966
Just unplug your
head from your butt
109
00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:34,267
and get the route done.
110
00:05:34,336 --> 00:05:36,470
Absolutely, sir. I'm gonna be...
Arthur!
111
00:05:36,538 --> 00:05:38,405
How dare you talk to
that man like that.
112
00:05:38,473 --> 00:05:39,406
Arthur.
113
00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:40,741
Who is this?
114
00:05:40,809 --> 00:05:43,009
This is your worst
nightmare, friend.
115
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,011
I was in the U.S.
army, 33rd brigade,
116
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,780
and I'm telling you to step off.
117
00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:47,848
Yeah?
118
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,983
Well, I was in the 42nd brigade.
119
00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:51,785
42nd, huh?
120
00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:53,086
Pretty tough bunch.
121
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,287
You're on your own here.
122
00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:56,423
Oh, what a wuss.
123
00:05:56,491 --> 00:05:58,091
Shut up, old man.
124
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:06,967
Oh, you are home.
125
00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:08,101
What are you doing in here?
126
00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:09,570
I... I can't go in that house.
127
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,204
If I... if I'm in the
same building with him,
128
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:12,806
I'll... I'll do something.
129
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:15,141
Something unholy involving
him and that armoire.
130
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,309
Doug, just relax.
131
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,911
What happened with
your boss today?
132
00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:19,913
He reamed me out in front
of the entire office!
133
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,014
And then he assigned me
134
00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:22,716
to package-sorting
duty for a week.
135
00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:25,018
Package sorting. He might as
well have thrown a wig on me
136
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,352
and called me Sally.
137
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,121
All right, Doug, listen,
I will go downstairs,
138
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:30,457
and I will talk to my dad. I'll
just tell him he's gotta...
139
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,492
Gotta what? What? What?
Stop being a lunatic?
140
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,160
I will start there, yes.
141
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,097
Listen, honey, I'm gonna
ask you a question here,
142
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,800
and I don't want you to
take this the wrong way.
143
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,669
Does anyone else know he's here?
144
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:45,338
Stop. Come on, it just
seems worse than it is
145
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,574
because it's, like,
100 degrees in here
146
00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:50,176
and you've been breathing
in a lot of paint thinner.
147
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,778
Now, let's just go inside
148
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:55,115
and take a nice cool shower.
149
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,783
Mmm, keep talkin'.
150
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,053
I'll let you videotape it.
151
00:07:00,121 --> 00:07:03,256
Oh, sorry, darling, I didn't
realize you were... you were home.
152
00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:04,625
Hi, daddy.
153
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:07,094
Heard you and Doug had a
little adventure today.
154
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:09,562
Indeed we did. And on
that note, Douglas,
155
00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:12,265
there's something that
needs to be said.
156
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,468
I'm listening.
157
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,304
You put a nasty little
Nick in my armoire.
158
00:07:20,074 --> 00:07:21,642
That's what needs to be said?
159
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,910
Ok, you know what? Why don't
you come inside, dad?
160
00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:26,613
I'll make you a nice baked apple.
Come on.
161
00:07:26,681 --> 00:07:27,981
I realize you were distracted
162
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,250
by your boss' hurtful
comments about your weight,
163
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,620
but you might be a little bit
more careful in the future.
164
00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:36,890
Your customers may not
be as forgiving as I am.
165
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,926
Baked apple, right this way.
166
00:07:39,994 --> 00:07:41,662
Arthur, do... do you
understand at all
167
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,196
that you almost got me canned?
168
00:07:43,264 --> 00:07:44,597
You know, it's bad enough
169
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,099
that you trounce
all over my home,
170
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:47,734
do you have to trounce
on my job, too?
171
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,402
That's too much trouncing.
172
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:52,172
Oh, you think this living
arrangement is easy for me?
173
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,407
You think I like walking
around here on eggshells?
174
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,343
Eggshells? Is that what we've been
getting here for the past few...
175
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:58,679
Eggshells? You on eggshells?
176
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,982
Well, thank you
for holding back!
177
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:04,551
All right, enough.
The both of you.
178
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,186
Now, let's all just go inside,
179
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,988
I will make you a baked apple,
180
00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,322
I will take a shower...
181
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:12,693
Reverse that. Let's
just all go inside.
182
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,862
Douglas, obviously my living
here is very unpleasant for you.
183
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,864
Perhaps I should make
some other arrangements.
184
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:18,965
Dad, stop it.
185
00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,600
No, no, no, no. I'm interested.
Go on.
186
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,936
Where would you go? Where would you go?
Come on, come on.
187
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:24,537
Where would you go?
I have options.
188
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,006
Options? Oh, so
there are several
189
00:08:26,074 --> 00:08:28,141
mental institutions wooing you?
190
00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:31,377
So, I'm just a crazy old man
who can't hack it on my own,
191
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,146
is that what you think?
192
00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,748
Yes.
193
00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:37,350
That's not stopping.
194
00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:39,352
Well, let me tell you
something, Douglas.
195
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,855
I've been on my own
since I was 17.
196
00:08:41,923 --> 00:08:43,623
I could take care
of myself then,
197
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,026
and I can take care
of myself now.
198
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,562
Where'd that door go?
199
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,831
It's over here, dad.
200
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,433
Fine. I'm gonna get my things.
201
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,901
I'll be staying at Mickey's
202
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,804
until I can find a more
permanent situation!
203
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,673
Oh, my God!
204
00:09:00,742 --> 00:09:02,109
God!
205
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,945
Doug, was that really necessary?
206
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,412
What are you talkin' about?
207
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,115
Why did you have to provoke him?
208
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:09,983
Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm
the bad guy here, huh?
209
00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:11,351
He gets to do whatever he wants.
210
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,853
I say one little comment
211
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,621
about how he should be
in a mental institution,
212
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,589
and I'm the big provoker.
213
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,792
Yes.
214
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:20,727
Doug, come on, you know him,
you know the way he is.
215
00:09:20,795 --> 00:09:23,296
He's like a 75-year-old
2-year-old.
216
00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:25,698
You can't let him pull you in.
217
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,400
You just gotta nod and smile
218
00:09:27,468 --> 00:09:29,435
and hang his drawings
up on the refrigerator.
219
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,171
Have you seen his
drawings, by the way?
220
00:09:31,239 --> 00:09:32,973
Scary stuff.
221
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,075
Come on, sweetie, could
you just go downstairs
222
00:09:35,143 --> 00:09:36,276
and say you're sorry?
223
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,410
No. Doug.
224
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,246
Carrie, no, I'm tired
of it, all right?
225
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,481
That basement was my T.V.
Room, my fort, you know?
226
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,084
And I gave it up to him 'cause
he didn't have a place to live.
227
00:09:44,152 --> 00:09:45,551
And if he can't appreciate that,
228
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,287
well, you know what?
Let him move out.
229
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,756
Doug, what do you
want me to say?
230
00:09:49,824 --> 00:09:50,991
That he's crazy?
231
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,659
That he makes you crazy?
232
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,828
That he's a strain
on our marriage?
233
00:09:54,896 --> 00:09:56,596
I admit all of that.
234
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,564
Now, go beg him to stay.
235
00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,903
All right, that's it.
236
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,305
I've taken only what
I came here with
237
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,207
and some hand towels.
238
00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:10,343
A-Arthur?
239
00:10:10,411 --> 00:10:11,444
Yes?
240
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,280
Look,
241
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:15,615
I'm sorry.
242
00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:19,119
I like having you here,
243
00:10:19,187 --> 00:10:21,788
and we want you to stay.
244
00:10:21,856 --> 00:10:24,191
Oh, I see Dr. Jekyll
has returned.
245
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,326
Frankly, Douglas,
246
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,929
your mood swings
are frightening.
247
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,732
Case in point. Goodbye.
248
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,636
I'll send for my armoire!
249
00:10:44,713 --> 00:10:45,647
Ahh.
250
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:47,049
That's nice.
251
00:10:47,116 --> 00:10:48,316
Sweet.
252
00:10:48,384 --> 00:10:50,318
Comin' back to papa.
253
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,389
Oh, yeah, feels good.
254
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,259
Sassy.
255
00:10:58,161 --> 00:10:59,827
Bring it, baby.
256
00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:02,464
Uh, guys, why is the fan
stopping short of me?
257
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,634
'Cause we angled it that way.
258
00:11:06,702 --> 00:11:08,537
That's... that's not fair.
259
00:11:08,604 --> 00:11:10,672
Hey, there's only enough
oscillation for 3 guys.
260
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:12,040
Just have another Popsicle.
261
00:11:12,108 --> 00:11:13,708
I've had 6.
262
00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:16,211
You know, y'all keep
treating me this way,
263
00:11:16,279 --> 00:11:18,613
I could very well
leave the group.
264
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:23,618
I'm not kidding. There
are some guys at work
265
00:11:23,686 --> 00:11:26,154
that have shown some
serious interest in me.
266
00:11:28,324 --> 00:11:30,725
I'm gonna let that sink in...
267
00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:33,495
While I get another Popsicle.
268
00:11:36,099 --> 00:11:37,031
Ahem.
269
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,067
Hello?
270
00:11:39,135 --> 00:11:41,035
Oh, hi, Arthur.
271
00:11:41,104 --> 00:11:43,105
No, Carrie's not here.
272
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:45,107
It's just me and the guys.
273
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,143
Fine. Hold on.
274
00:11:48,211 --> 00:11:49,644
He says he wants
to talk to anyone
275
00:11:49,712 --> 00:11:52,247
whose name doesn't
rhyme with "uglas."
276
00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:54,882
I'll take it.
277
00:11:56,352 --> 00:11:57,452
Hello?
278
00:11:58,721 --> 00:11:59,787
Hang on.
279
00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:02,324
He wants me to ask you
how you're doing.
280
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:04,426
I'm fine.
281
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:05,760
He's fine.
282
00:12:07,463 --> 00:12:09,864
He says, "I don't care.
Ha, ha, ha."
283
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,435
Is that it?
284
00:12:13,503 --> 00:12:14,836
Oh, yeah?
285
00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,605
Oh, good for you.
286
00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:18,140
Yeah, sure.
287
00:12:18,207 --> 00:12:19,674
All right, take it easy.
288
00:12:19,742 --> 00:12:20,842
What?
289
00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:23,178
He moved into his own
apartment yesterday.
290
00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:24,379
Are you kidding me? No.
291
00:12:24,447 --> 00:12:26,248
He' s having a housewarming
party tomorrow
292
00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:28,683
and Carrie's invited,
plus a guest.
293
00:12:30,653 --> 00:12:33,288
I c-can't believe it.
He's actually doing this.
294
00:12:33,356 --> 00:12:35,524
We figured he'd be back
here in a couple days,
295
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:36,824
but he actually moved out.
296
00:12:36,892 --> 00:12:37,859
He's really gone.
297
00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:41,463
Oh, I owe you one, big guy.
298
00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:43,498
All right, careful. Careful...
299
00:12:43,566 --> 00:12:45,099
My finger's getting crushed.
300
00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:46,701
Hey. It's just a finger, ok?
301
00:12:46,769 --> 00:12:48,403
This is an entire
entertainment system,
302
00:12:48,471 --> 00:12:50,438
so suck it up.
303
00:12:50,506 --> 00:12:51,906
Can we get some room over here?
304
00:12:51,974 --> 00:12:53,408
You're not even
holding any of it.
305
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:54,909
I'm guiding it.
306
00:12:54,977 --> 00:12:57,045
Hey. You ladies wanna
settle that, huh?
307
00:12:57,112 --> 00:12:58,547
Spence's nose is
starting to bleed.
308
00:12:58,614 --> 00:12:59,847
Thank you.
309
00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:02,284
Doug?
310
00:13:02,351 --> 00:13:03,351
Hi, honey. Hi, Carr'.
311
00:13:03,419 --> 00:13:04,352
My finger.
312
00:13:05,254 --> 00:13:06,521
What's going on?
313
00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:08,323
Why are you moving the T.V.
Back downstairs?
314
00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:10,692
Oh, get ready for
some great news.
315
00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:12,227
Your dad found his
own apartment.
316
00:13:12,295 --> 00:13:13,328
What?
317
00:13:13,396 --> 00:13:15,063
Yeah, he called about
a half hour ago.
318
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,265
Boy, the old fella sure
showed us a thing or 2, huh?
319
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,033
Ok, next 2 steps, let's go.
320
00:13:19,101 --> 00:13:20,535
Wait a minute. What?
321
00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:23,004
I don't know what stupid
thing my father's up to,
322
00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:24,673
but he can't live on his own!
323
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,940
You said that yourself!
324
00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:28,443
Yeah, but I was wrong.
Give the guy some credit.
325
00:13:28,511 --> 00:13:30,712
Ok, this is wreaking havoc
326
00:13:30,779 --> 00:13:33,248
with my one descended
testicle here.
327
00:13:35,951 --> 00:13:38,152
God, he's probably
sitting in a tiny room
328
00:13:38,221 --> 00:13:40,722
all by himself, with roaches,
329
00:13:40,789 --> 00:13:42,457
cooking on a hot plate,
330
00:13:42,525 --> 00:13:44,359
listening to his
crappy little radio...
331
00:13:44,427 --> 00:13:46,894
Hey, it's a nice radio, hon'.
332
00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:48,863
How could I even let him leave?
333
00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,365
I'm his daughter.
334
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,467
I'm supposed to be
taking care of him.
335
00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:54,736
C-come on, honey,
he's gonna be fine.
336
00:13:54,803 --> 00:13:56,137
I love you.
337
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,675
What are we doing here?
Up or down?
338
00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:02,076
I don't know.
339
00:14:02,144 --> 00:14:04,879
Deke, go see what she's
doing in the kitchen, huh?
340
00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:11,419
How you doing?
341
00:14:13,956 --> 00:14:15,189
She's sitting at the table.
342
00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:16,625
And?
343
00:14:16,692 --> 00:14:18,426
Crying. But not hard.
344
00:14:20,429 --> 00:14:22,029
Back up, back up.
345
00:14:26,235 --> 00:14:27,602
Honey, it's a housewarming.
346
00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:29,371
I still say we should've
brought something.
347
00:14:29,438 --> 00:14:31,939
If not a plant, at least a pie.
348
00:14:32,007 --> 00:14:34,542
Doug, we are not going
for a housewarming.
349
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:37,078
We are going there to tell
him, without fighting,
350
00:14:37,146 --> 00:14:38,346
that he can't live like this
351
00:14:38,414 --> 00:14:39,947
and he has to come home.
352
00:14:40,015 --> 00:14:41,750
Fine.
353
00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:44,085
I can't see how a
pie would hurt.
354
00:14:46,355 --> 00:14:47,555
Welcome!
355
00:14:49,925 --> 00:14:51,393
Hey, Arthur.
356
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:54,829
So, darling, what do you think?
357
00:14:56,231 --> 00:14:58,333
Dad, I... I want
you to come home.
358
00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,602
You can't live like this.
359
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,539
Honey, come on, there's
an omelet bar.
360
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:09,444
I gotta tell you,
361
00:15:09,512 --> 00:15:13,147
the man throws a great party.
362
00:15:13,215 --> 00:15:16,484
I had no idea he could
play the piano like that.
363
00:15:16,552 --> 00:15:18,420
Mmm-hmm.
364
00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:21,055
Come on, honey, cheer up. This
is a great situation for him.
365
00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:22,256
He was living in a basement,
366
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:23,291
now he's got a
367
00:15:23,359 --> 00:15:25,092
deluxe apartment in the
368
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,796
♪ sky 7
369
00:15:27,863 --> 00:15:30,398
I don't understand why
you're not happy for him.
370
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:33,768
I am. I just... I feel guilty.
371
00:15:33,836 --> 00:15:35,370
About what?
372
00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,271
Well, he was with us for a year,
373
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:40,442
and I had a real chance to get
closer to him and I didn't.
374
00:15:40,509 --> 00:15:41,643
I just blew him off.
375
00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:42,644
No.
376
00:15:42,712 --> 00:15:45,046
Doug, there are some days
377
00:15:45,113 --> 00:15:48,249
that all I said to him
was, "good morning."
378
00:15:48,317 --> 00:15:49,784
And not even a full
"good morning."
379
00:15:49,852 --> 00:15:51,853
It was more like a "g'morning."
380
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,322
I couldn't even
give him the "ood."
381
00:15:57,693 --> 00:15:59,594
Do you know that there
was one day last week
382
00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:02,129
that I actually hid from him?
383
00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:03,732
Hey, who hasn't?
384
00:16:05,934 --> 00:16:07,435
Now, come on, this
is good, right?
385
00:16:07,503 --> 00:16:09,270
I mean, we got our life back.
386
00:16:09,338 --> 00:16:10,638
Oh, I know.
387
00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:12,741
It's good, I guess.
388
00:16:12,808 --> 00:16:14,876
Hey, I know what'll put
a smile on your face.
389
00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:17,379
How about I go splash those
people at that bus stop.
390
00:16:19,548 --> 00:16:22,384
Well, if you're gonna do it,
you're gonna have to speed up.
391
00:16:26,255 --> 00:16:27,889
All I'm saying is
392
00:16:27,956 --> 00:16:30,592
in Europe, women's
breasts are no big deal.
393
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,894
They lie topless on
the beach all day,
394
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:34,896
and men don't even care.
395
00:16:34,963 --> 00:16:37,665
You ever stop to think that European
guys just pretend not to care
396
00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:40,268
so the women will
take their tops off?
397
00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:41,269
Yeah.
398
00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:42,804
This way they get to sip coffee
399
00:16:42,872 --> 00:16:45,239
and stare at boobies
all day long.
400
00:16:45,841 --> 00:16:47,776
Boobies?
401
00:16:47,843 --> 00:16:50,311
That's interesting. You think
that would work on women here?
402
00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:51,713
Nah, it would take
too many years
403
00:16:51,781 --> 00:16:54,148
to fool women into thinking
that we don't care.
404
00:16:54,216 --> 00:16:57,051
Although, it would be something
nice to do for future generations.
405
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,319
Yeah.
406
00:16:58,387 --> 00:17:01,423
I'd like my son to grow
up in that kind of world.
407
00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:03,792
Well, I'm out of here.
408
00:17:03,859 --> 00:17:05,293
I gotta go back
to the firehouse.
409
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,994
Yeah, I gotta roll, too.
410
00:17:07,062 --> 00:17:08,797
Oh, uh, one of you
give me a ride?
411
00:17:08,864 --> 00:17:11,766
Yeah, sure, you can
hop in the trunk.
412
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,234
Remember Friday night,
413
00:17:13,302 --> 00:17:15,202
uh, mets-braves, right here, ok?
414
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,872
Oh, hey, and we're breaking in the
George foreman healthy grill,
415
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,340
so bring your chopped meat.
416
00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:31,653
Douglas?
417
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,321
Hey, Arthur. What brings you by?
418
00:17:33,388 --> 00:17:34,823
Uh, in my haste to pack,
419
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:37,425
I inadvertently took
a 3-pronged adapter.
420
00:17:37,493 --> 00:17:39,193
I believe this is yours.
421
00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:41,162
We were worried. Thank you.
422
00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:42,430
Hey, can I get you a beer?
423
00:17:42,498 --> 00:17:45,066
Sure. That's what the
air bags are for.
424
00:17:48,704 --> 00:17:51,339
By the way, I'm glad
you could make it over
425
00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,475
to my soiree the other night.
426
00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:55,777
Well, thanks for the invite.
I had a great time.
427
00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:58,312
Ah, you really knocked 'em
dead with the charades.
428
00:17:58,380 --> 00:17:59,614
Of course, you, uh, lucked out
429
00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:02,617
with the "Jake and the fatman."
430
00:18:02,685 --> 00:18:04,185
Yeah, I really
caught a break, huh?
431
00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:05,286
Yeah.
432
00:18:07,857 --> 00:18:08,890
Yeah.
433
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,793
The old room.
434
00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:15,162
This really takes me back.
435
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:18,065
So, how are you and Carrie
doing since I left?
436
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,534
Great. We're doing fine.
437
00:18:19,602 --> 00:18:22,236
You sure? 'Cause sometimes
someone moves out,
438
00:18:22,304 --> 00:18:23,705
and everything
gets out of whack.
439
00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:27,008
Trust me, everything's in whack.
440
00:18:27,075 --> 00:18:28,209
Good.
441
00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:31,379
'Cause if my leaving
caused any problems,
442
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:32,847
I'd move right back in.
443
00:18:36,552 --> 00:18:38,820
Hey, you'd have
to kill me first.
444
00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:42,857
Ah, no, seriously, Arthur,
445
00:18:42,925 --> 00:18:44,592
I'm, you know, I'm
really happy for you.
446
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,860
You found your own apartment
447
00:18:45,928 --> 00:18:48,362
and, uh, I hope you enjoy it.
448
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,598
Speaking of the apartment,
449
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:54,168
any chance you could lend me
$1,700 a month indefinitely?
450
00:18:56,038 --> 00:18:57,438
What?
451
00:18:57,506 --> 00:19:00,008
I may have over-leveraged
myself a bit
452
00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:01,509
in getting that place.
453
00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:03,310
What are you saying?
You can't afford it?
454
00:19:03,378 --> 00:19:06,347
Mmm, not at the
present time, no.
455
00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:08,049
Although, I have an
idea for something
456
00:19:08,116 --> 00:19:09,250
that could make millions,
457
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:11,419
if a lot of left-handed
people are willing
458
00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:13,855
to give me a weekend
of their time.
459
00:19:15,591 --> 00:19:17,058
What is wrong with you?
460
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:18,826
Why did you take a place
that you can't pay for?
461
00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:21,629
I wanted to prove that you were wrong.
That I could live on my own.
462
00:19:21,697 --> 00:19:23,130
But you couldn't.
463
00:19:23,198 --> 00:19:25,466
Only because I didn't
have the money.
464
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:26,701
Well, that's a big part
465
00:19:26,769 --> 00:19:28,736
of the "living on
your own" package.
466
00:19:28,804 --> 00:19:30,371
Fair enough.
467
00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:31,673
Now that we agree on that,
468
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,575
let's talk about
my moving back in.
469
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,977
When will your truck
be available?
470
00:19:41,249 --> 00:19:42,416
Douglas?
471
00:19:44,152 --> 00:19:46,353
So, you want to
move back in, huh?
472
00:19:46,421 --> 00:19:48,522
That would be real convenient
for you, wouldn't it?
473
00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:50,324
You leave for a few days,
474
00:19:50,392 --> 00:19:51,826
you bounce around the
outside world for a while
475
00:19:51,894 --> 00:19:54,762
like that bird who's
"cuckoo for cocoa puffs,"
476
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:57,331
and then you just waltz back in.
477
00:19:57,399 --> 00:19:59,000
Well, you know what, Arthur?
478
00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:00,768
Take my basement back.
479
00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:02,536
It's yours. You know what?
Fine, take it.
480
00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:03,638
And while you're at it,
481
00:20:03,706 --> 00:20:05,239
why don't you take
the T.V., too?
482
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:07,274
And... and the fussball table,
483
00:20:07,342 --> 00:20:08,943
and, uh, hey, the couch.
484
00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:10,578
It yours. It's all yours.
485
00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:14,482
Hey, take my mustard-stained
jets blanket, huh?
486
00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:16,951
Oh, and... and my
baseball encyclopedia,
487
00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:20,254
oh, and my x-rated
video with the label,
488
00:20:20,322 --> 00:20:22,189
"bad news bears go to Japan,"
489
00:20:22,257 --> 00:20:24,726
so Carrie won't notice it.
490
00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,094
Take it all, Arthur!
491
00:20:26,161 --> 00:20:27,595
Hey, what else can
I get for you?
492
00:20:27,663 --> 00:20:28,863
Hey, do you want the flooring?
493
00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:30,264
'Cause I could rip
up the carpet.
494
00:20:30,332 --> 00:20:31,733
Come on, what else
can I give you?
495
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,501
How 'bout my kidneys?
Come on, I have 2.
496
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:36,270
What the hell, take
'em both, Arthur!
497
00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:38,539
God, why should I
have anything, right?
498
00:20:38,607 --> 00:20:40,508
All I do is go to work every day
499
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,243
and pay my mortgage on time.
500
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,577
And when it's not on time,
501
00:20:43,646 --> 00:20:46,380
it's certainly within
the grace period!
502
00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:51,552
But I guess that means nothing.
Nothing!
503
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:52,854
And you know what? That's fine.
504
00:20:52,921 --> 00:20:55,189
I'll just be a guy
going through life
505
00:20:55,257 --> 00:20:57,025
with no basement
506
00:20:57,092 --> 00:20:58,425
and no kidneys!
507
00:21:36,633 --> 00:21:39,102
Ok, keep doing it. You got it.
You got it.
508
00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,703
All right, shimmy
it up, will you?
509
00:21:40,771 --> 00:21:43,139
For God's sake, lift
with your legs.
35895
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