All language subtitles for S01.E02] The Program Cons, Cults And Kidnapping - Mind Control
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1
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This is the story
of mind control.
2
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,110
Some of those engaged in that search
3
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,030
have agreed to talk
about it for the first time.
4
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:34,076
You succeed
and survive if you accept the program.
5
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,119
If you don't, there are punishments.
6
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,580
You are manipulating children.
7
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,209
Well, you are certainly having an effect.
8
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,545
You are changing their behavior.
9
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No.
10
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No.
11
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It's a tough program.
12
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Yes, it is.
13
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,927
It's also a controversial program.
14
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,430
The seminars
were the worst part of the program.
15
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:59,393
They used time-tested
brainwashing techniques to control us.
16
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,938
To be honest,
I blocked out a lot about the seminars.
17
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,232
But there are a few things
I'll never forget.
18
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,111
Like having to crawl around
on the floor like a baby for an hour.
19
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,280
And the towels wrapped in duct tape.
20
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:15,742
Since we couldn't get out by force,
this was our only option.
21
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,203
Surrender, stop fighting.
22
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,706
Give in to the program.
23
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:41,351
That song,
the one from
A Space Odyssey,
24
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,104
was used repeatedly in the seminars.
25
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The day-to-day life
at Ivy Ridge was bad enough.
26
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,734
But once every six weeks,
27
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,611
we were required to participate
in these pseudo-psychological,
28
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,032
emotionally abusive
,
and humiliating seminars.
29
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,535
Seminars are two-to-four-day events
30
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:03,165
that happen about every four to six weeks
at every one of the WWASP programs.
31
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:07,252
And you have to get through one
to get to the next one.
32
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So it's the backbone of the whole program.
33
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,882
In order
to graduate the program,
34
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,968
you had to complete the seminars,
and there were a lot.
35
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:18,305
Completing the seminars
meant not questioning their ideology
36
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,099
and conforming
to the groupthink of the program.
37
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Where the seminars were very,
very effective
38
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is that they use physiological experiences
39
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:29,024
to manipulate the mind
and manipulate thought processes.
40
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,693
So, for instance, all of a sudden,
we become food deprived,
41
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,278
and we become sleep-deprived.
42
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,197
Not just sleep-deprived,
but time-deprived,
43
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,115
because these windows
weren't open in seminars.
44
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,911
We didn't know what time of the day it was
whenever we were in the seminar room.
45
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,954
For all we knew,
we were in here for two hours,
46
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,164
or we were in here for 20.
47
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,625
In addition to that, every single seminar
48
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,211
involved some type
of physical exertion component.
49
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,047
Oh my gosh. These.
50
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,507
Okay.
51
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,550
So, this…
52
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:01,181
This is a towel wrapped in duct tape.
53
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,517
They had us sit on the floor.
54
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,477
And they were like, "Okay."
55
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,398
"Now, I want you to start hitting
the floor as hard as you can and scream."
56
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,566
It was an hour of doing this,
57
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:15,529
and if you stopped, they would call it,
"You chose out of the seminar."
58
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,280
You'd get kicked out of the seminar.
59
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,991
So, when you choose out of seminar,
60
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:24,913
they send you
to a new seminar called "breakpoint."
61
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,998
And the reason
that it's called "breakpoint"
62
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is because it's meant to break you.
63
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:34,381
Alexa and I went
to one particular breakpoint, um,
64
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:40,095
and this was an all-day event
with only one activity for the entire day.
65
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We sat here
and just repeated the same thing
66
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over and over and over again
67
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:49,396
until we finally just disassociated
and left our bodies and--
68
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,732
-And broke.
-And broke. Yeah, breakpoint.
69
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,401
-We reached the breaking point.
-So if you'd like to see that…
70
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,695
- What was it like? Do it!
- Okay.
71
00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,157
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
72
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,951
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
73
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,829
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
74
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,748
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
75
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,835
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
76
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,713
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
77
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,799
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
78
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,677
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
79
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,472
Palms up, palms down,
palms together, palms apart.
80
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,223
- Okay.
- Yeah, it's…
81
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,683
I gotta throw a chair.
82
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Literally, I am feeling
a certain way in my body right now.
83
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,272
And that was only a minute.
84
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,900
- Was that only a minute?
- How long did you do it for?
85
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,776
-About eight hours.
-At least. Uninterrupted.
86
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,861
Yeah.
87
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,784
Different programs
are gonna try different techniques.
88
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And by sort of inventing these things
89
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:51,249
for people to do
that sometimes are completely ridiculous,
90
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,669
they're getting you to give up yourself,
give up your individualism.
91
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:58,131
It's part of
this thought-stopping process.
92
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,384
The seminars at Ivy Ridge
were modeled after self-help workshops
93
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:05,222
known as LGATs,
or large group awareness trainings.
94
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,766
The micro lab
has now been together five hours.
95
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:11,061
They've told each other secrets,
shared fears and dreams.
96
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,313
These types
of workshops became popular
97
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,857
during the human potential movement
in the '60s.
98
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,318
You had groups
like EST and Lifespring.
99
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,986
They were just springing up all over.
100
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,823
And they use
what we call "high-arousal techniques."
101
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,159
Psychologically,
the breather achieves
102
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,036
an altered state of consciousness.
103
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:32,165
The experience may be pleasurable
or extremely painful.
104
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,710
They consist
of unconventional activities
105
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:39,798
that are meant to increase self-awareness
to bring about a desired change.
106
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:44,427
If you put people
through a intense emotional experience,
107
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,722
you can make them believe
that they changed their lives.
108
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,350
By the time
this physical exertion is done,
109
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:54,521
it feels like I beat this part out of me,
and now I feel clean.
110
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,774
Instead of, "Wait.
I was just crazy manipulated
111
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:02,571
into exerting myself so intensely
because I was just being told to."
112
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,491
Keep it on "Cristofori's Dream."
It's more fucked up.
113
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,371
- Oh God!
- Oh my God!
114
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In the seminars,
115
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,874
they would play
all sorts of meditative music
116
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,918
and guide us into a trance-like state.
117
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They would know
so many personal details about your life,
118
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and that's what they would use
to break you.
119
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,597
They knew my mom died
a week before I turned two.
120
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,682
And they're like, "Yell at your mom."
121
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"Pretend the floor is your mom
and tell her how mad you are
122
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she abandoned you, that she died."
123
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And I'm like, "She died of cancer!
She didn't… It wasn't her fault."
124
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Some of the stuff they did to me
that I think was the worst was telling me
125
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,199
that I needed to be accountable
for my dad dying.
126
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And my father died in a car accident
when I was a toddler.
127
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We rolled numerous times
and landed upside down.
128
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Like, it was horrific.
129
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The car accident should be
the worst thing that ever happened to me.
130
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It was being at Ivy Ridge.
131
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,716
It was the worst thing
that ever happened to me.
132
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,384
-Worse than your dad dying?
-Mm-hmm.
133
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Seeing him die too, which was really hard.
134
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,432
But, um…
135
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,392
Yeah, I just think
being here was way worse.
136
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Because they made me relive it.
137
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They were like,
"The world would've been a better place
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if you had died in that car accident
and not your father."
139
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I actually have an essay
140
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,029
where they made me write,
"It is my fault."
141
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It was really hurtful
to write those words.
142
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They had a name tag for me,
and it just said, "Mistake."
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'Cause it was a mistake
I lived and my dad died.
144
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So no one could call me by my name.
They had to call me "The Mistake."
145
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It taught us
how to destroy people with words.
146
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It's horrible, and our only form
of nonverbal communication
147
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is an insult, right? "Victim."
148
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And not victims like, "Oh my gosh.
You're a victim of a horrible act."
149
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But like, "Victim." You know?
"You're playing the victim."
150
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It's a shameful thing. It's an insult.
151
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That's where it's like,
"Okay, they're breaking you down."
152
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Oh shit. Is this…
153
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,030
- This is the makeup for… Okay.
- Oh wow.
154
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,742
You'd have to do
these performances based on, like,
155
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,120
how they're trying
to psychologically torture you.
156
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'Cause the whole point
of these seminars is public humiliation.
157
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That's how you really break people down.
158
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They issue you a song
to perform in front of everyone
159
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,550
in this vulnerable way
that usually involved cross-dressing.
160
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,678
And mine was Right Said Fred's,
"I'm Too Sexy,"
161
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where I wore a red dress.
162
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Pranced around in this cult-like circle.
163
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They ruined
so many good songs.
164
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Cyndi Lauper
and "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."
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Now you can never listen to those songs
again without thinking of the seminar.
166
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The seminars were to break you down
167
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so that they could build you back up
in the image of the program.
168
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It is behavior modification.
169
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It is literal brainwashing.
170
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It is coercive persuasion.
171
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,213
Palms up, palms down,
palms together…
172
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,425
Everybody's screaming.
I need to be involved in the screaming.
173
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Knuckles would be ripped open,
and their hands would be bleeding.
174
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,639
What the fuck is going on in there?
175
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:21,019
Sensory deprivation, food deprivation,
sleep deprivation, public humiliation.
176
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Because you are worthless,
because you are a liar, you are deceitful.
177
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Let's amp it up!
178
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Tell me your deepest darkest secrets!
It's gonna change your life.
179
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You are at fault.
180
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,154
You are to blame.
181
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Anything that has ever happened to you
is your fault.
182
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You're weak. You're pathetic.
You're a victim.
183
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:39,996
And the only way you can take control
of your life and be accountable
184
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is through the program.
185
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…palms together,
palms apart.
186
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,960
The program's cruel tactics
make a lot more sense
187
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,421
when you realize
that they stem from an abusive cult.
188
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,008
The troubled teen industry
began with Synanon,
189
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,011
which was a cult
that started in Santa Monica in 1958
190
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,805
by Charles E. Dederich.
191
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,891
He got involved
with Alcoholics Anonymous.
192
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,894
And he thought
that AA was not tough enough,
193
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:07,190
that what we should do
is take the principles and the steps
194
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,900
and impose them on people.
195
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,570
He created a residential
treatment community of heroin addicts,
196
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in which he pioneered
harsh behavior modification tactics
197
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,867
known as "attack therapy."
198
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,079
You would basically
find somebody's weak points,
199
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,623
zero in on them, and attack them.
200
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,333
How many fights have you had?
201
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,710
You've had none! You've had none!
202
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:31,339
This could go on for 24 hours,
even longer.
203
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:35,093
And people would just whale on people
till they'd be completely broken.
204
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,761
Y'all happy?
205
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,515
The more anxious you become,
the less clear your thinking is,
206
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,852
and you become vulnerable
to being influenced by the leaders
207
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,187
into adopting their ideology.
208
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,022
Once Synanon was disbanded,
209
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:52,318
its members went on to create
other programs modeled after Synanon
210
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,280
but serving troubled teenagers.
211
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,282
These teenagers
are the raw material
212
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,284
of a growing industry
that treats troubled kids.
213
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,078
Nancy Reagan
popularized these programs
214
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:05,373
with her "Just Say No" campaign
in the war on drugs.
215
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,834
There is nothing
as awful for a parent
216
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,169
as having something happen to their child.
217
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,714
She even brought
Princess Diana to a program
218
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,132
in one of her US visits.
219
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,842
In the '80s and '90s,
220
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,679
parents were told
tough love was the only way to go.
221
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,764
I'm really disgusted
with you.
222
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,892
You're really selfish and arrogant.
223
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,685
That's how I feel about you.
224
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,563
-I love you.
-I love you, Mom.
225
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,442
Humiliation and emotional attacks
put people off balance.
226
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,070
And they use that to create compliance.
227
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,989
If you break one of the rules,
228
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,533
or your attitude isn't right,
you get yelled at.
229
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:43,036
You don't even
have enough self-esteem, okay?
230
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,120
That all depends…
231
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,289
They're tearing apart
your self-esteem
232
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,583
and tearing apart your trust in yourself.
233
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,044
And, eventually, tearing apart yourself.
234
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,422
Everybody went around
and told you, in so many words,
235
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,925
they think you suck as a person.
236
00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,970
And that if they had their way,
they'd cut your throat
237
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,513
and relieve the human race
238
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,974
of having to deal
with an ingrate like you.
239
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,517
You could do a chart
240
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,938
and trace the influence
throughout the troubled teen industry.
241
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,982
Every program is based on Synanon
242
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,985
or based on something
that was based on Synanon.
243
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,198
Oh yeah, right?
244
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,368
Molly, what correction
did you get for tripping over me?
245
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,412
Unauthorized communication.
'Cause we laughed.
246
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,997
-Two times.
-No, you tripped over me.
247
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,500
-I tripped over you? That makes sense.
-You tripped over me.
248
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,793
But yeah, this.
249
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,254
Molly was one
of my best friends in the program.
250
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,964
We'd always get in trouble for that.
251
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,174
You weren't allowed
to have friends in the program.
252
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,596
Molly had never touched drugs
or alcohol and was a straight A student.
253
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,307
But her little brother
had been sent to Majestic Ranch,
254
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:50,478
another WWASP program that
targeted kids as young as seven years old.
255
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,855
Her parents loved the program so much
256
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,692
that they decided to send Molly
and her brother to Ivy Ridge,
257
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,444
because they thought
it would bring the family closer together.
258
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,613
Molly was in my "family,"
259
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:04,200
which was basically a small class
we were divided into.
260
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,077
Each family was given a different name.
261
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,247
Faith, Hope, Valiant.
262
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,833
My family name was "Congeniality."
263
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,795
Every weekday, we would sit
in a circle with our families
264
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,132
and give each other feedback
in this thing called "group."
265
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,010
After I shared, I'm like,
"I had a hard time this week."
266
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,220
"I was just transported by two strangers
267
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,931
who kidnapped me
and brought me here to this place."
268
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,309
"I don't know where I am.
I can't talk to my sisters."
269
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:32,103
"I don't know where my dad…
What is happening? What is this place?"
270
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,147
"How long am I gonna be here?
Blah, blah, blah."
271
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,065
And then I would get feedback.
272
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,860
Who wants to give me feedback
based on my share? Alexa.
273
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,737
-Katherine, are you open for feedback?
-Yes.
274
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,573
Katherine, my experience of you
is that you're acting like a victim.
275
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,951
My encouragement for you
is to do some deep soul-searching
276
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,954
because clearly, again, you are doing
some very nonworking behavior.
277
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,124
You're not gonna be able to go home,
and your parents won't want you home
278
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,502
until you start owning your greatness
and get out of your image.
279
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,172
- Ooh!
- Great jargon!
280
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:03,051
This was daily life in the program.
This was every day.
281
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,721
And this was the only time
we were allowed to talk
282
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,973
and communicate with our family rep.
283
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:14,062
And our family rep was
our only communication and lifeline
284
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,315
to the outside world,
to our parents, and to our family.
285
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,942
Family reps would monitor
286
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,986
all of our letters
and phone calls to our parents.
287
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,948
And if we said anything negative
about the program, we'd get a correction.
288
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,117
They would have
weekly phone calls with our parents
289
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,829
where they'd reassure 'em that keeping us
in the program was the best thing for us.
290
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:35,541
Our families, our parents
accepted them in our place.
291
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,128
They trusted them
over our letters, over our words.
292
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:43,299
The most illuminating thing
we found in the files
293
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,176
were the family rep talking points.
294
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,637
Family reps
were given talking points
295
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,472
for how to address abuse allegations.
296
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,848
"They are not credible."
297
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,892
"We do not use 'isolation.'"
298
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,769
"We do no 'brainwashing.'"
299
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,855
"We will only believe half
of what they say about their parents
300
00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,817
if they only believe
half of what they say about us."
301
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,236
We thought they were here to help us.
302
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,071
But then you just start realizing
303
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,532
the family rep
doesn't give a shit about you.
304
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,118
And as we found in the files,
305
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:14,580
family reps are literally incentivized
to keep you here longer.
306
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:19,043
So, no,
they're not gonna help you get home.
307
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:23,005
Their whole job
was to sell the program to parents.
308
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,925
If your family rep didn't like you,
it was like…
309
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,010
you weren't going anywhere
in the program, ever.
310
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,638
Our family rep,
when I first came to the facility,
311
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,473
she gets my file, my intake file,
312
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:35,143
which is essentially the form
that your parents fill out about
313
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,270
"This is why we are sending Alexa here."
314
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,816
And then in the intake file as well
is your pregnancy test and your drug test.
315
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,737
She told me that my drug test
"lit up like a Christmas tree."
316
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,614
And I was like, "Is this a fucking joke?"
317
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,366
I'd never done drugs!
318
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,578
But I had no way to refute it.
I had no way to refute it.
319
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,705
How am I supposed to prove to you
that it didn't?
320
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,458
But then after a while,
like, hearing from my parents,
321
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,294
things coming from the facilitators,
my peers around me,
322
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,920
"You need to talk more about drugs."
323
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:05,882
And, like, "Until you're able
to take accountability for your actions,
324
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,383
until you stop playing the victim,
325
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,427
you are never gonna progress
in your program."
326
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,638
So it's like,
"Okay, for me to go home,
327
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,515
let me start talking about drugs, right?"
328
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,810
So then in group, I'm like,
"Yeah, you know, I was doing drugs, and…"
329
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,563
"I don't know, I guess
I was smoking crack or something."
330
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,732
So then I start making up
these stories to be like,
331
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,400
"See? I'm working the program."
332
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:29,238
Teenagers, especially, are really
vulnerable to making false confessions.
333
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:33,409
And the way to create them
is to just push, and push, and push,
334
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,412
then say,
"We'll let you go if you confess."
335
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,247
The confessions pour out.
336
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,834
I wanted to feel better,
but I didn't want to stop using drugs.
337
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,380
They would say
they had prostituted themselves for drugs.
338
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:50,843
How they'd had sex with dogs.
How they'd shot up in their eyeballs.
339
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,388
But most of them
had never even seen a needle.
340
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,683
But if they didn't tell horrific tales
about their drug abuse,
341
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,310
they wouldn't be believed.
342
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,480
And they wouldn't be able to advance
to the next phase of the program.
343
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,274
I had never done drugs
in my entire life,
344
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,193
but in order for me
to graduate the program,
345
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:11,614
I had to confess to using heroin,
crack, you know, cocaine, LSD, PCP.
346
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,991
And it kept growing,
and growing, and growing.
347
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:16,661
The drugs I've done are pot,
alcohol, speed, cocaine,
348
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:22,375
prescriptions, over-the-counters,
PCP, LSD, THC, uh, mushrooms, hash…
349
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,795
By getting people to confess things,
350
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,297
sometimes true, sometimes made up,
351
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,258
you end up having collateral
352
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,386
that can be used against them
in many different ways.
353
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,556
NXIVM does it.
Scientology does it.
354
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,433
The moment you walk in a Church
of Scientology, they have folders on you.
355
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,270
Everything you've ever said
is written down and videotaped.
356
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:45,523
It's, "What do we know
about you that we can use against you?"
357
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,734
And then you're given a nickname
by the facilitators.
358
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,403
So for me, it was "Crack Whore."
359
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,613
And you have to talk about,
"I'm a crack whore."
360
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,782
And, "I was sucking dick for crack."
361
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,534
Since day one of the program,
362
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,245
I have been labeled
as somebody who I wasn't.
363
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:03,374
So, my only goal was if there was any way
for me to retrieve this drug test,
364
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,417
that's all I wanted.
365
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,588
Because it would prove to my parents that
I was telling the truth the entire time,
366
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:11,549
and we could finally move on
from this terrible chapter
367
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:15,386
that has eaten up so much of my life.
368
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:20,057
And so somebody found my file,
and then she mailed it to me.
369
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,517
And so I open up this package,
370
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,645
and the first thing
that's on top of my file is my drug test.
371
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,898
And in all caps, circled, is "negative."
372
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,152
That bitch lied.
373
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,613
Like, that bitch lied.
374
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,365
And that lie is so fucking deep
375
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:40,953
that even being presented
with the evidence of my drug test,
376
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,415
my parents still believe the program.
377
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,922
We decided
to leave a copy of Alexa's drug test
378
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,467
in her family rep's mailbox
while we were in town.
379
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,263
Whoo!
380
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:04,477
I'm… I'm so curious
if she's actually gonna contact me.
381
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,940
When we were at Ivy Ridge,
the first time we got to see our parents
382
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,276
was at a seminar called "PC-1,
"
383
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,612
or "Parent Child 1."
384
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:19,617
By the time I made it to PC-1,
I hadn't seen my dad in six months.
385
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,495
They say, "Your parents are inside.
When you go inside,
386
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,456
your parents are gonna be standing
in a circle with their eyes closed."
387
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,751
Like, "Find your parents,
and go up and stand in front of them,
388
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,544
but you have to be
outside of arm's reach."
389
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:34,757
"If they put their arms out,
they shouldn't be able to touch you."
390
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,425
And so, we all run in,
391
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:40,346
and I just see my dad
and stepmother holding hands with this…
392
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,182
Like, all these people in a circle
with their eyes closed,
393
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,267
in this guided meditation.
394
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:49,063
And I was, like,
so excited to see my dad again.
395
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,524
But I had to just stand there
in front of him,
396
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,442
not being able to touch him.
397
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,985
And they're like, "Reach out."
398
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,405
"Keep your eyes closed,
but reach out your arm."
399
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,615
They're like,
"You can't touch 'em, can you?"
400
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,118
"Isn't that how out of reach
they felt at home?"
401
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,912
"You just couldn't get them."
402
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,248
And I'm standing there,
my dad's reaching out,
403
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,500
and I just want to hug my dad.
404
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,795
So,
you're just standing there, crying.
405
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,506
I remember, like,
finally seeing my parents and being like,
406
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,009
"They look just like the picture."
'Cause I felt like…
407
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,345
I really felt like
I didn't know them anymore.
408
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,473
And I'm like,
"They look so pretty in real life."
409
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,642
Like, "They're so crisp and real."
410
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,147
At the end of PC-1,
they allowed siblings to visit,
411
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,606
but only for one hour.
412
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,276
My sister Julie came up for it.
413
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,319
Katherine was the one who got…
Here. Talk to her.
414
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,488
If anyone could help me,
she would.
415
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:43,659
Julie flew all the way up
from DC to Syracuse,
416
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,328
rented a car from Syracuse,
417
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:50,040
drove two hours to see me
for that one hour in the seminar.
418
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,047
You ran up to me and hugged me
and looked so relieved that I was there.
419
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,008
And I was like…
I think, in that moment, I'm like, "Oh."
420
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,720
"I should have been more aware.
This seems bad."
421
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:06,223
I know, I should have whispered to you,
but we were so brainwashed and scared
422
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,475
that if we said anything
to try to manipulate,
423
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,895
I would have been sent back
to level one, zero points.
424
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,897
- Mm-hmm.
- And having to be there longer.
425
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:18,068
So, they really instilled this fear
to just not say anything.
426
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:22,573
I didn't even realize it was only an hour
'cause I have such limited memories there.
427
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:25,910
I was just like, "I'm going to throw her
in the back of this Ford Taurus."
428
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,078
- Drive away.
- "And drive away."
429
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:29,872
Yeah, it was like, for the longest time,
430
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,667
I could never tell the story of you coming
to visit me in the seminar without crying.
431
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,961
I might even cry now
if I think about it,
432
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:39,715
'cause it just meant so much
to, like, see you.
433
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,301
And just, I, like…
"Get me outta here."
434
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,303
What do I do
435
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:48,265
to try to get you guys
to take me out of this place,
436
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,351
or realize how bad it was?
437
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,770
We didn't have a lot of contact with you.
438
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:57,024
And me, in particular,
because I was in a different country.
439
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,777
I was just so in my own world,
freshman year of college,
440
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,446
and Jane called and was like,
441
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,823
"We're just gonna send her off
for a few months."
442
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,618
"She just needs to be scared a little."
443
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,328
"She won't be there long."
444
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,455
But I was there very long.
445
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:12,873
Yeah. I don't know why.
446
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:15,084
It just didn't really click in
until I got up there.
447
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:20,589
The second day,
I stayed up late French braiding my hair,
448
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,424
'cause I'm like,
"I wanna look really pretty
449
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,969
so they'll want to take me home."
450
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,055
And I asked my mom
when I had a moment just her,
451
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,181
and I was like,
452
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:32,434
"Can you please take me home
before I graduate?"
453
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,687
"It doesn't have to be today,
but before I graduate?"
454
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:37,147
She's like,
"No, we're committed to graduation."
455
00:22:37,231 --> 00:22:39,483
And I'm like, "Okay. I'm sorry I asked."
456
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:40,568
Like, "Please don't…"
457
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:43,279
In my head, I'm like,
"Please don't tell anyone I asked," like…
458
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,533
Our parents were pressured
into writing commitment letters
459
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,034
upon admitting us into the program.
460
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,496
Family reps were instructed
to call parents every single day
461
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,623
to pressure them until they wrote it.
462
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,458
So parents were committing to the program
463
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,627
before they even fully understood
what it was.
464
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:02,715
Once we realized
our parents weren't gonna take us home,
465
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:05,759
our only other option
was to work the program.
466
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:07,636
Fake it till you make it.
467
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,890
There's a point where you're like,
"I'll do whatever you tell me to do."
468
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:13,475
"I'm just gonna be a robot,
and everything's gonna be fine."
469
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,103
"'Cause all I want to do
is never be in trouble again."
470
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,647
And that meant
becoming an upper level.
471
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,775
I don't think
we can stress enough that
472
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:25,529
the only people on the girls' side
that are real people are upper levels.
473
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,449
It's a completely different world!
474
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:30,743
- Lower levels and upper levels.
- Yes.
475
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:34,538
Once you get upper levels,
and you get that taste of normalcy,
476
00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:36,665
of being able to talk
and wear your hair down.
477
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:37,875
Something happens.
478
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:41,086
Going back to lower… like, it's miserable.
479
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,048
You'd also earn
an off grounds,
480
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:45,966
an unsupervised visit with your parents
481
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,219
where you were allowed
to leave the building,
482
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:51,722
as long as you stayed
within a two-hour radius of the facility
483
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,932
and returned promptly by 8:00 p.m.
484
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,142
Before you went,
485
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:58,646
you had to sign a contract agreeing
to certain rules for the off grounds.
486
00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:01,398
But the number one rule
they drilled into our brain
487
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:03,943
was, "Don't ask to go home."
488
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:08,364
There are Katherine
and Julie out on the point.
489
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,825
It was exciting to be outside
in the real world and see my dad,
490
00:24:11,909 --> 00:24:13,619
but I was terrified of making a mistake
491
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:16,288
that would send me
back to level one all over again.
492
00:24:16,372 --> 00:24:20,584
My dad was like, "Why didn't you tell me
how bad it was on the off grounds?"
493
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:24,588
This was the contract they had me sign
before all the off grounds.
494
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,299
Phil Elberg
was one of the first lawyers
495
00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:29,551
to ever successfully sue
one of these programs.
496
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:32,471
And he's been a big advocate
for kids ever since then.
497
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:33,973
It just makes me sad.
498
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:35,724
It's sad.
499
00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:39,353
Julie and Katherine,
taking a little stroll.
500
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:46,026
This piece is the hardest thing
for parents to understand.
501
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:48,278
I've heard so many parents say,
502
00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:51,198
"Well, why didn't my child tell me
when they came home,
503
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,701
when there was nobody
monitoring their conversation?"
504
00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:56,704
And I remember one young woman telling me,
505
00:24:56,787 --> 00:25:00,165
"It was easier to just try to do
what I had to do to finish."
506
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:04,503
I mean, that's just the nature
of being in a coercive atmosphere.
507
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:07,047
Talk to the camera,
'cause there may be people back home
508
00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:09,633
that would like you
to say something to them. Can you say--
509
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:11,927
Well, take me home,
and I'll say it to them in person.
510
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:14,555
- Well, can you say hello to Rachel?
- Hi, Rachel.
511
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,598
And tell her
how much you like it here.
512
00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:17,683
I hate it here.
513
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,393
- Oh, you do?
- Take me home.
514
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,147
I took a big risk
by saying this.
515
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:26,567
I would've lost all my points
and started at level one all over again,
516
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:28,193
lost a year of progress.
517
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:32,072
But my stepmother wasn't within earshot,
so I took my chance.
518
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,825
I don't know, Dad. This is weird. Stop.
519
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:45,586
We are heading
to Katie's place.
520
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:48,714
We are going to go look at the files that…
521
00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,801
…that Katie has been storing.
522
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,472
She has really been going down
her own rabbit hole.
523
00:25:58,015 --> 00:26:00,601
Katie was also
in my family at Ivy Ridge.
524
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:03,604
She was only 13 years old
when she was sent there.
525
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:05,522
She's been coordinating the effort
526
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:08,108
of returning files to people
who have been requesting them.
527
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:10,819
Oh my goodness.
So, is it both containers?
528
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,696
- Yeah--
- How many files do you have?
529
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,656
Probably
about a little over 1,700.
530
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,076
- Seventeen hundred?
- Yeah.
531
00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:18,994
I just kind of
went through them individually
532
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,746
and started alphabetizing them.
533
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:24,958
And then, from there,
I just started putting them in envelopes.
534
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,795
- This is the rest of it.
- This is overflow?
535
00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:29,171
- Yeah.
- Wow.
536
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,091
Wait, there's, like, literally so much!
537
00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:35,260
It was a long process
just organizing everything.
538
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,805
That probably took a good,
like, six months.
539
00:26:37,888 --> 00:26:40,557
I mean, at one point,
this was all in my apartment.
540
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:41,725
What's this? Group notes?
541
00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:44,978
Some of these are the dorm parent notes.
542
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,606
- Yeah. Dorm notes.
- Yeah, the dorm parents.
543
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:49,483
"How many
people got a bloody nose?"
544
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:53,403
Yeah, pretty much. "How many bottles of
water did Katherine drink today?"
545
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:56,406
-Seriously, they wanted to keep track of--
-They have that?
546
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:59,326
I don't know if it's yours specifically,
but they kept track of--
547
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:02,037
It would probably be, like, none
because the water there…
548
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:05,040
Remember, it was yellow
and smelled like toilet water?
549
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:07,751
And I think that's why I'm so dehydrated,
550
00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:10,003
like, all the time now,
and why I got a kidney stone.
551
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:12,756
Same. I did not drink that water
unless it was a new bottle.
552
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,300
Oh my gosh,
this is a 12-year-old.
553
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:17,970
- What the fuck?
- Wow!
554
00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:21,390
Okay, so this poor little
12-year-old has a very thick file.
555
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:26,061
Yeah, usually the thicker those files are,
the harder time the child had.
556
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:34,027
These people need to know
what happened to them wasn't their fault.
557
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,572
I want to say
it's like a weight lifted off.
558
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,198
For me, it definitely was.
559
00:27:38,282 --> 00:27:40,868
Just to, like, prove you're not crazy.
560
00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:42,494
Like, this did happen.
561
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,706
So a lot of people
are grateful to have that,
562
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:48,208
like, in writing, right in front of them.
563
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:51,378
To have the proof
and validation
564
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,922
of all the insane shit that went on there.
565
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,633
That's now, like, what I'm trying to do
566
00:27:56,717 --> 00:28:01,263
is get all this evidence together
and present it to my dad.
567
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,058
I had cut off contact with my dad
568
00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:07,853
when I first discovered
my files in the building.
569
00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,980
I needed time to myself
to process everything,
570
00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:11,273
and I'd never taken the time
571
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,901
to be properly angry at him
for the program.
572
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:17,946
At first, when I stopped talking to him,
I didn't know how long it was gonna be.
573
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,824
Then I was like, "You know what?
I'm gonna make it 15 months."
574
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:25,537
Because that's how long I was in there,
and I want him to feel what it's like
575
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:28,665
to just be suddenly cut off
from communication.
576
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:31,585
And I felt like a jerk
when it was his birthday.
577
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:34,087
But any time I felt bad,
I would just remember,
578
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,131
"Well, he kept me there for my birthday."
579
00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:40,802
"He kept me there for Christmas,
birthdays, prom, all of this stuff."
580
00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:44,848
And he never really apologized
or really understood what had happened.
581
00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:46,975
And I think
that's the only thing that can happen
582
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:48,602
before healing can happen
583
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:51,188
is to get them
to understand what to be sorry for.
584
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,731
To understand what we went through,
585
00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:56,276
and the hopelessness
and abandonment that we felt there,
586
00:28:56,359 --> 00:29:00,489
and the psychological torture
that we went through.
587
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,116
So, I'm not really
looking forward to that.
588
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,578
So, if you have any files
that would help me be like…
589
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:07,996
"See, Dad?"
590
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,082
You know? Like…
591
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:12,292
After 15 months of no contact,
592
00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:16,171
I decided to start communicating
with my dad again, but only in writing.
593
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:18,423
He'd have to earn his phone call.
594
00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:21,385
But that didn't stop him
from leaving me a ton of voicemails.
595
00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:23,178
Hey, Katherine. It's Dad.
596
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:27,182
It'd be nice to be able to sit down
and have a long conversation with you
597
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:29,643
about this stuff,
so you could tell me at length
598
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:31,520
and we could hear each other.
599
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:32,854
My response was,
600
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,190
"I can empathize
with the frustration you must feel,
601
00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:37,901
with just wanting to hop on the phone
to talk things through,
602
00:29:37,984 --> 00:29:40,237
because that's how I felt
when I was in the program."
603
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,572
"But I was not able
to just pick up the phone."
604
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:45,450
"I'll talk to you when I'm ready,
but right now I'm in the thick of it,
605
00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:47,869
of sorting through
all these files we found."
606
00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:51,915
"It's a lot to process, and you still have
a lot of learning to do."
607
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:53,417
"Work your program."
608
00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:02,509
There's no book on parenting,
so you just don't know.
609
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:04,845
Well, you blame yourself.
610
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:07,097
"What'd you do wrong? What…" You know.
611
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,307
I mean, she's 13,
612
00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:10,934
and I would go to the school bus,
and she wouldn't be there.
613
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,604
I mean, that's just a horrible feeling.
614
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:16,440
Um, you know, "Where's your daughter?"
615
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:19,234
She didn't want to come home,
and it was scary.
616
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,028
And you just get to that point
617
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:24,114
where you just want to do anything
to help 'em.
618
00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,867
So, they catch you
when you're very vulnerable,
619
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:30,787
and you make that phone call,
and then they ease your mind, and…
620
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:34,207
"This is the best place,
and we can help with this,
621
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:36,168
and we can help with that, and…"
622
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:44,259
The people the program most wants
to influence is the parents, not the kids.
623
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,804
And so, the key
to understanding this industry
624
00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:50,432
is to understand
the manipulation of the parents.
625
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:56,021
When a child is acting out,
parents get terrified.
626
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,356
Our family was being ripped apart.
627
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,609
And these programs
say to the parents,
628
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:04,863
"If you don't put your child
in our program, your child will die."
629
00:31:04,947 --> 00:31:07,366
If we didn't do something soon,
he was going to die.
630
00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:10,827
And there's gonna be a death.
There's gonna be something tragic happen.
631
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:14,706
Then somebody comes along and says,
"I have the answer to all your questions."
632
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:16,333
"All the problems go away
633
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,668
by just buying into
what it is I'm selling."
634
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,504
Parents get convinced
635
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:23,465
that this is the absolutely only thing
that's gonna help their kid.
636
00:31:25,175 --> 00:31:27,427
You think
about people that join cults.
637
00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:31,682
It's people that are looking for
a simple solution to a difficult problem.
638
00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:35,352
And so the kids weren't in the cult.
639
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:37,187
The parents were in the cult.
640
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:44,361
And they're probably gonna have someone,
in the community where your dad was,
641
00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:50,033
who's got a kid at one of the facilities,
call your dad and recommend them.
642
00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:53,537
How did so many members
of our, like, Evangelical community…
643
00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:56,289
How did so many children
from this group end up there?
644
00:31:56,373 --> 00:32:01,461
Alexa Brand's parents
referred multiple families to the program.
645
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:05,173
That was one of the big things
they tried to push about referrals.
646
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:08,176
If you got people,
you got, like, a free month, I think.
647
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,594
So that was a big deal.
648
00:32:09,678 --> 00:32:13,307
Using the parents
as walking billboards, it was brilliant.
649
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:19,312
The next thing
the program convinces parents of
650
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:22,190
is, "Your kid's been able
to manipulate you,
651
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:25,819
and they're gonna try
to manipulate you now."
652
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:27,362
They're told,
653
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:29,948
"Your kid's gonna call you
and tell you all this crap."
654
00:32:30,031 --> 00:32:32,742
"Don't believe them.
Don't let them get out early."
655
00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:35,620
And these desperate parents
go along with it.
656
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:39,374
"Any parents identified
as wavering on their commitment
657
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:42,544
will be called immediately by committee."
658
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:45,213
This is so culty.
This is like, "You cannot leave."
659
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:49,926
Alexa's parents would communicate
with family reps at the program
660
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:54,347
when Dad started bringing up
different red flags.
661
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:55,682
And so, literally,
662
00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:59,394
the family reps there would fill out
a form called a "red flag report."
663
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:02,230
I found a red flag report
about my dad
664
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:05,275
that included an email
from Alexa's mom that said,
665
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,652
"To hear him call Ivy Ridge a prison
666
00:33:07,736 --> 00:33:10,530
is typical of
how he can fly off the handle at times."
667
00:33:10,614 --> 00:33:12,824
"Jane is the more levelheaded of the two."
668
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,619
"Definitely sounds like
she and Ken are on different pages,
669
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:19,456
so the three of us are planning to meet
sometime next week to support her."
670
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:23,084
"The good news
is that Katherine's still at Ivy Ridge."
671
00:33:23,752 --> 00:33:26,296
So, they would use the Brands
672
00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:30,300
to then have a support group with them
and make 'em feel better.
673
00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:35,388
They had this internal messaging board
for parents called the BBS,
674
00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:38,975
where they would only let parents who were
supportive of the program post on it,
675
00:33:39,059 --> 00:33:40,268
and they would monitor,
676
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,938
and so curate this perception
of what was going on there.
677
00:33:43,897 --> 00:33:47,108
As these things get said to them
over, and over, and over,
678
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:49,903
and they're in an environment
where everybody's saying yes,
679
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:52,447
and you've got somebody saying,
"This really helped my kid,"
680
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,366
and they all reinforce each other,
681
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:56,076
parents buy into it.
682
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:57,744
They get duped into it.
683
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,416
Parents were put through
a series of seminars of their own,
684
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,085
designed to make them feel supported
685
00:34:05,168 --> 00:34:07,712
and dedicated to keeping their kids
in the program.
686
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:10,924
Pen test.
687
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:14,594
These programs are
so secretive that it's almost impossible
688
00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:17,263
to get footage
of what's really going on inside.
689
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:18,932
But I tried.
690
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,393
I was able to sneak into a WWASP seminar
691
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:23,895
for parents who currently had children
in the program.
692
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:26,523
The parents were standing around
in a circle,
693
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,692
holding hands in a guided meditation.
694
00:34:28,775 --> 00:34:32,279
Similar to how my dad was
when I first saw him in PC-1.
695
00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:36,074
They had the same stupid posters
on the walls with program jargon.
696
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:38,034
"There are no accidents."
697
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,786
"What you fear, you create."
698
00:34:39,870 --> 00:34:42,539
Every time, I think.
699
00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:45,458
What are you…
Are you doing a seminar here too?
700
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:48,253
Oh no. I'm just here working.
How often are they?
701
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:49,170
Once a month.
702
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,339
You've taken
this seminar how many times?
703
00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:53,341
This is my tenth in 13 months.
704
00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:55,177
What's the goal
of the seminar?
705
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,011
Whatever you get out of it
is the goal.
706
00:34:57,095 --> 00:35:00,849
I don't know what issues you have,
but if there's something you want to heal…
707
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,602
It, uh… It's transformed my life.
708
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:08,606
I mean, it was helpful. There was
a lot of good learning from the seminars.
709
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:12,360
They really get you pumped up,
and they really wanted you
710
00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:14,738
to get outside your comfort zone,
and I did.
711
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:19,242
I went against everything I believe in
and wore what they told me to wore.
712
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:23,330
It was hard for me to imagine
my dogmatic, Evangelical dad
713
00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:24,956
participating in the seminars.
714
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,543
Prancing around and cross-dressing
in front of a room full of people.
715
00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:31,504
How could the seminars, which were
so psychologically damaging
716
00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:35,258
and harmful for us kids,
have such a hold on our parents?
717
00:35:35,342 --> 00:35:38,678
One, the parent seminars were
very different from the kid seminars.
718
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,513
And, two, parents could go home.
719
00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:42,348
- How you doin'?
- Hey, guys.
720
00:35:42,432 --> 00:35:44,559
We're gonna graduate at 5:45,
721
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:47,187
so if you want
to go get a bathroom, air, whatever,
722
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:50,690
be back here around 5:40
when they open the doors.
723
00:35:50,773 --> 00:35:53,610
This is David Gilcrease.
724
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,696
He's the guy that created
all of the seminars for WWASP.
725
00:35:56,780 --> 00:36:00,950
Prior to that, he had been a facilitator
at Lifespring for ten years.
726
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:03,745
The facilitators were known
for being dictatorial
727
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:05,622
and outright mean toward participants.
728
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:07,832
Asshole!
729
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:09,793
You're all assholes, every one of you.
730
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:12,337
He pretty much
copied everything from Lifespring
731
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:15,465
and repackaged it as seminars
for teenagers and their parents.
732
00:36:15,548 --> 00:36:17,968
And the importance of program completion
733
00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:20,637
was hammered
into their heads relentlessly.
734
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,640
If you leave the program
before you finish all seminars,
735
00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:25,392
you are a half-baked cake.
736
00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,937
You might look done on the outside,
but you're not finished in the middle.
737
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,147
You must complete the program.
738
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:37,362
When I look back on it now,
you can see things that happened, but…
739
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,906
You can see it now,
but you couldn't see it then.
740
00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:43,326
I felt like I did everything.
We went up there. We saw the building.
741
00:36:43,410 --> 00:36:46,079
We talked to people.
We personally dropped her off.
742
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:48,373
The grass was mowed.
The building looked nice.
743
00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:51,709
And then they take you in a nice room,
and they're talking to you.
744
00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:54,963
Which one of these rooms
does not belong, right?
745
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:57,590
Yeah, this office
is ridiculous. It's wood paneled.
746
00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:58,508
Yup.
747
00:36:58,592 --> 00:37:01,136
All the rest of the rooms
do not look like that,
748
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,345
but they were very careful.
749
00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:04,764
Whenever parents came in,
they were only in this room.
750
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:05,682
Yup.
751
00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:09,102
Jason's office. Wood paneling.
Could be prestigious, I don't know.
752
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,020
Yeah.
753
00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:12,730
Basically, student council
gave the parents all this.
754
00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:14,983
So they have you meet the parent in here.
755
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,819
Then as you come in, you're like, "Hi."
You put on the whole fake…
756
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,779
"Hi! How you doing?
It's so nice to meet you!"
757
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:23,908
You know, "I was really bad.
I was into gangs, but once I came here,
758
00:37:23,992 --> 00:37:26,286
it opened my eyes,
and I saw something totally different."
759
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,747
And you had to put
that movement on 'cause it's like,
760
00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:31,249
if you tell them no,
or, "I'm not doing a parent tour…"
761
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:33,877
If the parents said anything
negative about you, it's over.
762
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,795
Your program's over.
You start all over again.
763
00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:38,798
I mean,
I asked questions, so if any…
764
00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,842
if I would've thought
there were any red flags
765
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,887
of her being hurt or anything in any way,
766
00:37:43,970 --> 00:37:46,097
I would've definitely went up and got her.
767
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:50,560
Seeing, kind of,
how they severely manipulated everybody,
768
00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:52,228
I can understand…
769
00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:55,648
I know that my parents
just wanted what was best for me.
770
00:37:55,732 --> 00:38:00,487
But it… I mean, it sucks.
At the time, I definitely felt abandoned.
771
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:02,364
Like, I was scared.
772
00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:04,032
I was sad.
773
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:07,952
I feel like…
could have had a closer relationship
774
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:09,913
if things went a different way.
775
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:12,374
If we could have figured things out
as a family,
776
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,793
instead of me just being isolated
from my family.
777
00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:17,879
And their life goes on,
778
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:22,717
and mine just, like,
came to an end for 19 months.
779
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:24,260
So…
780
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:26,221
Well, I mean, it wasn't meant to…
781
00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:32,811
make you feel,
I mean, isolated, and that hurts.
782
00:38:32,894 --> 00:38:35,646
It just really hurts
to hear her story.
783
00:38:37,190 --> 00:38:40,318
But I can't go back
and change it.
784
00:38:45,531 --> 00:38:46,699
I'm sorry.
785
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,586
The marketing photos
of Ivy Ridge did a good job
786
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:01,214
of convincing parents
that kids were having a good time
787
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:04,884
and let outside the building regularly
to do fun activities.
788
00:39:04,968 --> 00:39:06,219
They called it "activities,"
789
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:08,721
but literally,
these were publicity stunts.
790
00:39:09,555 --> 00:39:11,766
In an attempt
to seem like a normal school,
791
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:14,602
they decided to host a dance
for levels three and up.
792
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:16,312
This was definitely a shock,
793
00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:19,274
since normally, we weren't even allowed
to look at the boys.
794
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,234
They even put me, Molly, and Diana
795
00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:23,903
on the cover
of the
Parent Support
newsletter.
796
00:39:23,987 --> 00:39:26,573
This was the closest thing
we ever got to a prom,
797
00:39:26,656 --> 00:39:28,241
and even it was a sham.
798
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:29,367
It was for show.
799
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:32,412
It was like, "Look,
we have extracurricular activities."
800
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:34,330
"Here is our cheerleading squad."
801
00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:38,876
As a student who had been locked
in a facility for 18 months, right,
802
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,796
you're excited
to just go pretend to be normal.
803
00:39:41,879 --> 00:39:45,175
Deprive us of everything,
offer us something fun,
804
00:39:45,258 --> 00:39:47,594
and it's like,
"We'll go with no question."
805
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:49,178
And then you come back,
806
00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:52,098
and it's this instant reminder
that you're not free.
807
00:39:52,182 --> 00:39:53,558
You're not free at all.
808
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:58,563
The person responsible
for the marketing photos was Tom Nichols.
809
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:02,609
Tom was the public relations coordinator
for Ivy Ridge.
810
00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:06,863
He was a local politician they brought in
to put a positive spin on the program.
811
00:40:06,946 --> 00:40:09,574
He even took upper levels door-to-door
after the riot
812
00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:11,534
to reassure locals about Ivy Ridge.
813
00:40:11,617 --> 00:40:14,120
Molly was one of the kids
he brought with him.
814
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:18,041
Turns out Tom is now a pastor
at a nearby church.
815
00:40:18,124 --> 00:40:20,209
So we thought we'd stop by
to pay him a visit.
816
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:21,544
Here we go.
817
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:23,421
Who'd have thought
818
00:40:23,504 --> 00:40:25,798
we'd be doing a sting operation
on a local pastor?
819
00:40:26,799 --> 00:40:30,761
I think about some of the efforts
being made today in different areas
820
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:33,723
to go after people…
821
00:40:33,806 --> 00:40:35,642
wrongs that people think
need to be righted.
822
00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:37,977
Hi, Tom. I'm Katherine Kubler.
823
00:40:38,061 --> 00:40:39,979
Um, do you recognize any of us?
824
00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:40,980
Uh, no.
825
00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:43,107
We all went
to Academy at Ivy Ridge.
826
00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,943
- No kidding!
- We did.
827
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:48,738
Does it kinda scare you that some
Ivy Ridge kids are coming back here?
828
00:40:48,822 --> 00:40:50,490
I expected it would happen someday.
829
00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:51,657
- Really?
- Yeah.
830
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:54,369
Yeah. Everyone has
a judgement day, I guess, you know?
831
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:58,498
I've been working on a documentary
about Ivy Ridge for over a decade now.
832
00:40:58,581 --> 00:41:01,709
As you know, you managed PR for Ivy Ridge.
833
00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:03,169
I was a PR coordinator.
834
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:06,506
What I offered that they didn't have
was a chance to get out of there
835
00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,132
and do some fun things for a change.
836
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:10,510
So, do you feel like
the pictures you took
837
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:14,097
were representative
of what life was like at Ivy Ridge
838
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:15,973
for the kids that were there?
839
00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:17,809
- No.
- No, it wasn't?
840
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:18,851
No.
841
00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:20,770
How do you feel
about that now,
842
00:41:20,854 --> 00:41:23,606
knowing that a lot of parents
were conned out of their money
843
00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:26,526
to send their kids to a place
like Ivy Ridge, where they were abused?
844
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,236
First of all, if this is gonna be
845
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:30,113
one of these ridiculous
60 Minutes
exposés,
846
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,948
frankly, I'm not interested
in being involved.
847
00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:34,826
Okay. Bye, thanks.
Happy Sunday.
848
00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:41,499
Tom, like a lot of staff at Ivy Ridge,
849
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,376
said he was just doing his job,
850
00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:46,045
but that's how
institutionalized abuse works.
851
00:41:46,129 --> 00:41:48,464
Everyone plays their part
in allowing it to happen.
852
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:50,425
Come on. Get in.
853
00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:52,427
It was those pictures
of Ivy Ridge
854
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,846
and the well-orchestrated PR campaign
855
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:58,683
that conned a lot of parents
and hurt a lot of kids.
856
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:09,235
When somebody has been humiliated
and spent a lot of money for a treatment,
857
00:42:09,319 --> 00:42:12,155
it's really embarrassing to say,
"I was a sucker."
858
00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:17,910
It's really embarrassing to admit that,
and horrifying for a parent to admit
859
00:42:17,994 --> 00:42:20,788
that they sent their kid somewhere
and hurt them.
860
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:25,668
For your dad, I mean,
it's probably difficult for him
861
00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:28,963
to face the fact that he put you there.
862
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:33,218
If he hadn't done that,
you'd be a different person now.
863
00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:36,471
And it's hard for people to accept that.
864
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:38,431
Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely.
865
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:42,226
I feel like I've been going through
a years-long process
866
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:44,479
of trying to deprogram my dad.
867
00:42:45,104 --> 00:42:48,357
Um, to try to get him
to even understand that this was a cult,
868
00:42:48,441 --> 00:42:49,692
and that this was a scam,
869
00:42:49,776 --> 00:42:51,861
and just to understand
870
00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:56,782
the depths of the pain,
and hurt, and abuse that happened.
871
00:42:56,866 --> 00:43:00,078
How…
Any tips on how I can deprogram my dad?
872
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:05,291
- For real! Like, he's still…
- Have him read…
873
00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:06,667
"Dear Katherine,
874
00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:09,712
by now we've discussed
the program to the point of repetition."
875
00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:11,506
"I can't really add much constructively
876
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:14,801
by writing more letters
and continuing to repeat myself."
877
00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:18,262
If your dad is saying,
"Why are you still talking about this?"
878
00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:22,266
he doesn't understand
the effect of that trauma on you.
879
00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:26,354
"You may feel the program has
been discussed to the point of repetition,
880
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:27,897
but you don't know the half of it."
881
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:29,440
"You don't have my lived experience
882
00:43:29,523 --> 00:43:31,442
of being forced into
a psychological experiment
883
00:43:31,526 --> 00:43:33,027
and being systematically brainwashed
884
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:35,530
during the formative years
of my brain development."
885
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,115
"So, no, I'm not done
talking about the program yet,
886
00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:39,951
and I don't think I ever will be."
887
00:43:40,034 --> 00:43:42,829
It's part of the processing
of that experience
888
00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:46,040
and trying to understand,
"What the hell happened to me?"
889
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,797
This is gonna trip you out.
890
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,174
It literally looks
like
The Blair Witch Project.
891
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,510
- Oh shit!
- And it's both sides.
892
00:43:57,593 --> 00:44:00,304
I remember…
Oh my gosh, I just feel…
893
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:03,933
- I feel nauseous for some reason.
- Look at all the hands.
894
00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:06,894
- Oh my gosh.
- My hand's on here three times.
895
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:09,563
This is the culty part.
This is the, uh…
896
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,608
This is this wall
that all the upper levels signed.
897
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,862
Yeah, so that's me.
898
00:44:16,362 --> 00:44:19,699
I remember after you made level four,
this was like the indoctrination.
899
00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:20,908
Like, "You're in now."
900
00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:23,160
- Yeah.
- You get to sign the wall.
901
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:26,456
Alexa was the poster child
for the program.
902
00:44:26,539 --> 00:44:30,251
Oh my gosh!
Here's Alexa on the float parade.
903
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:32,128
There's Alexa at the cookout.
904
00:44:32,211 --> 00:44:36,090
After all, if they could
reform this out-of-control crack whore,
905
00:44:36,173 --> 00:44:38,926
think what they could do
for your troubled teen.
906
00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:43,723
When I see kid me
in all of these promotional materials,
907
00:44:43,806 --> 00:44:46,350
I hate that person. I hate that person.
908
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:50,062
I literally should have known better.
I think that's the thing I struggle with.
909
00:44:50,146 --> 00:44:53,816
Like, "You are so fucking stupid.
How did you not know?"
910
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:59,071
One of the most pernicious things
about the way these programs work
911
00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:04,535
is that in order to advance,
and in order to graduate the program,
912
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,914
you have to prove
that you have bought into the ideology.
913
00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:13,085
And the best way you can prove that
is by being mean to the other kids.
914
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:18,883
You know, you've got upper-level students
acting as enforcers.
915
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:21,427
Alexa's signature.
916
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:24,388
Yeah, I think she…
I think her name was on a lot of those.
917
00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:29,227
In order to save yourself,
you have to betray your friends.
918
00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:33,397
We know from things
like Milgram's experiments
919
00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:34,941
and the Stanford Prison Experiment
920
00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:38,653
that people's character
is very much determined
921
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,947
by the situation
in which they find themselves.
922
00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:45,660
Very good people
can be induced to do very bad things.
923
00:45:46,827 --> 00:45:50,539
I found a document that I wrote
924
00:45:51,124 --> 00:45:53,876
that kinda blew my mind
because I have no memory of it.
925
00:45:53,959 --> 00:45:57,338
No memory of it. And I know for a fact
that it probably happened more than once.
926
00:45:57,421 --> 00:46:00,925
But it was a statement of fact that
I wrote because I restrained somebody.
927
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:06,263
By becoming an enforcer
and doing it to others,
928
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:08,808
that damages another part of yourself.
929
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:11,686
My first response was like, "I… I can't…"
930
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:14,188
"That's not something
that I can have in my brain now,
931
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:17,566
as far as, like,
'Man, I was actively hurting kids.'"
932
00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:20,653
"Like, actively hurting kids as a kid."
933
00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:22,780
And I'm 16 years old at that point.
934
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:26,700
And if I'm not assisting
with the restraint, that's my program.
935
00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:30,121
When you leave,
that carries a lot of shame and guilt.
936
00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:31,998
I mean, that's the moral injury.
937
00:46:32,081 --> 00:46:34,708
It's like, "Why in the hell
did I do that?"
938
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:41,841
What concerned me most about programs
like this wasn't the kids that got broken.
939
00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:43,968
It was the kids who were successful.
940
00:46:44,051 --> 00:46:46,929
Yeah, I think there's still
a lot of shame and embarrassment
941
00:46:47,012 --> 00:46:49,056
when I see the pictures and stuff,
942
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:52,768
or when I know about stuff that I did,
because I'm just, like…
943
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,855
Yeah. I'm so ashamed of that person.
944
00:46:57,606 --> 00:47:02,778
I saw how much the upper levels suffered.
I saw how painful it was.
945
00:47:02,862 --> 00:47:05,323
You guys couldn't have
any loyalty to each other.
946
00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:07,283
If you got close, you got torn apart.
947
00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:10,870
I kept saying,
"This is a cult. This is brainwashing."
948
00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:12,621
It was like,
"What is her deal?"
949
00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,957
Yeah, it was really annoying to people,
I'm sure.
950
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:17,209
I wouldn't follow the rules.
I just wouldn't do it.
951
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:20,796
I was like, "I cannot be on upper levels."
952
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,008
"It's so wrong,
and I can't do that to someone."
953
00:47:24,091 --> 00:47:25,551
I suffered here horrifically.
954
00:47:25,635 --> 00:47:28,012
Physical abuse.
Every type of abuse you can think of.
955
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:30,514
But then when I got out,
I didn't have the…
956
00:47:30,598 --> 00:47:32,850
I didn't have
to undo the brainwashing trauma.
957
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:36,354
Man, I will be damned…
958
00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:41,484
I will be goddamned if I let anybody
have any type of influence over my life…
959
00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:42,568
like, ever again.
960
00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:49,074
"Dear Dad and Jane,
I am not going to graduate the program."
961
00:47:49,158 --> 00:47:50,534
"You don't want me home right now
962
00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:53,162
because I am only a Level 3
and not a Level 6."
963
00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:55,498
"You may be able to keep me here
until I'm 18,
964
00:47:55,581 --> 00:47:57,041
but you can't make me graduate."
965
00:47:57,124 --> 00:47:59,043
"That is the only thing that is up to me."
966
00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:03,089
"Why am I doing this?
Because I hate you for not wanting me."
967
00:48:05,466 --> 00:48:08,094
"To be nobody but yourself
in a world that's doing its best
968
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:09,470
to make you somebody else
969
00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:12,556
is to fight the hardest battle
you are ever going to fight."
970
00:48:13,057 --> 00:48:15,977
"Never stop fighting." E. E. Cummings.
971
00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:21,398
♪ Some boys take a beautiful girl ♪
972
00:48:21,482 --> 00:48:27,947
♪ And hide her away
From the rest of the world ♪
973
00:48:28,030 --> 00:48:32,952
♪ I want to be the one
To walk in the sun ♪
974
00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:36,413
♪ Girls, they want to have fun ♪
975
00:48:37,623 --> 00:48:42,294
♪ Oh, girls just want to have fun… ♪
976
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:45,923
Okay,
everybody graduated at this table.
977
00:48:46,007 --> 00:48:47,717
-Except Katherine.
-Except me. Sorry!
978
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:51,804
- You dropout.
- I'm a dropout.
979
00:48:51,887 --> 00:48:56,225
But I have to stress,
to get to the end,
980
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,269
the games you had to play…
981
00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:00,312
It was a crazy chess game, right?
982
00:49:00,396 --> 00:49:02,648
And it was a popularity contest.
983
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:06,360
But more than that,
it was such a mind game.
984
00:49:06,443 --> 00:49:09,113
And the only way to get to the top
985
00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:12,658
is to play this high-stakes,
high-stress game
986
00:49:12,741 --> 00:49:16,537
where winning is you get to win
your freakin' freedom back.
987
00:49:25,671 --> 00:49:27,923
Hi. This is Alexa. Who's this?
988
00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,509
Did you leave
a paper in my mailbox?
989
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:31,969
I did.
990
00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:35,181
I never said
you were a crack whore.
991
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:38,225
What's going on? I don't get it.
992
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:40,644
No, you didn't say that in particular.
993
00:49:40,728 --> 00:49:42,271
I was called that in seminars
994
00:49:42,354 --> 00:49:45,691
because you told my parents
that I had been addicted to drugs.
995
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,194
And I found my drug test,
and it was negative.
996
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:53,198
I don't remember
lying to your parents about that.
997
00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:54,575
I remember.
998
00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:59,455
Okay.
So, where are we going with this?
999
00:49:59,538 --> 00:50:02,458
Well, actually, I was curious
if you'd be willing to talk with me
1000
00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:04,877
about some of the things
that happened at Ivy Ridge.
1001
00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:09,423
What are we going to discuss?
1002
00:50:09,507 --> 00:50:11,717
You know, the sad part of this is
1003
00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:17,014
is that you girls have had nothing
but bad things to say about me.
1004
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:20,518
And out of anybody,
I'll bet you I was one of the true people
1005
00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:24,104
that really fucking loved you all
and cared about what happened to you.
1006
00:50:24,688 --> 00:50:27,024
If you really want to help the girls,
you'll help us now.
1007
00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:29,318
But why…
Why did you wait that many years, then?
1008
00:50:30,611 --> 00:50:32,112
Because we finally have proof.
1009
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:34,323
We have the documents. We have the emails.
1010
00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:37,076
We have security footage.
We have everything.
1011
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,789
I… I believe that…
1012
00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:46,710
Yeah, some of the shit they did…
was not nice.
1013
00:50:48,087 --> 00:50:50,005
Did you really believe in the program?
1014
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:52,591
Did you really believe
that this was the best thing for kids?
1015
00:50:52,675 --> 00:50:55,511
To be honest,
maybe I was a little brainwashed
1016
00:50:55,594 --> 00:51:00,641
that the program would be helpful
and to work and to keep you kids alive.
1017
00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:02,393
Would you talk to my parents?
1018
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,186
And tell them what?
1019
00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:07,940
That the entire program was a lie.
That they were duped. They were conned.
1020
00:51:08,023 --> 00:51:09,191
They were lied to.
1021
00:51:09,274 --> 00:51:11,318
That there were lies
told about their daughter
1022
00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,404
that has completely splintered
their family.
1023
00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:16,198
That you take accountability
for your participation in that.
1024
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:17,992
That's what I want.
1025
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:25,124
I'm not taking accountability
for something that I do not believe I did.
1026
00:51:25,207 --> 00:51:28,252
Then you are not working your program
if you're not taking accountability,
1027
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,087
and you're playing the victim.
1028
00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:34,508
And it's not about you as an individual.
It's about you as part of an institution.
1029
00:51:34,592 --> 00:51:36,719
That's the problem
right now, Alexa.
1030
00:51:36,802 --> 00:51:38,137
That's the whole fucking problem.
1031
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:41,223
Because you're trying to make me
be the only fucking person accountable--
1032
00:51:41,306 --> 00:51:44,643
- No, I am not. Believe you me, I am not.
- Yeah, you are!
1033
00:51:45,478 --> 00:51:46,312
No, I am not.
1034
00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:50,816
You are one of many people
who contributed to a lifetime of trauma.
1035
00:51:56,780 --> 00:51:57,698
And?
1036
00:51:57,781 --> 00:51:59,324
And?
1037
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:02,161
That's the response, "And?"
1038
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:10,336
I've gotta go.
I'm driving, and cars are passing me,
1039
00:52:10,419 --> 00:52:12,546
and my gas light's on.
1040
00:52:13,339 --> 00:52:14,381
Sure is.
1041
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,383
- All right. Bye.
- All right.
1042
00:52:20,345 --> 00:52:22,848
- Wow.
- I have to smoke. I am, like…
1043
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:25,684
My heart was… Are you okay? My heart was…
1044
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:27,645
It's like the
Les Mis
song.
1045
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:29,771
"Don't kick a dog
because he's just a pup."
1046
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,857
"You better run for cover
when the pup grows up."
1047
00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:34,443
We grew up.
1048
00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:36,195
We got out.
1049
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:39,240
And we're not scared of you anymore.
1050
00:52:40,365 --> 00:52:43,035
Abuse thrives in silence.
1051
00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:48,082
We stay silent
because there's shame and humiliation.
1052
00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:51,126
Because all this stuff
is embarrassing, honestly.
1053
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,879
Like, I'm embarrassed for my dad.
1054
00:52:54,630 --> 00:52:56,215
-Hi, Dad.
-Hey, sweetie.
1055
00:52:56,298 --> 00:52:58,759
You know, it's hard, 'cause he's…
1056
00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:00,928
he's a victim in this in a lot of ways.
1057
00:53:02,262 --> 00:53:06,350
He fell for this fuckin' scheme.
1058
00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:09,645
And it's embarrassing
to sit there and say,
1059
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:13,148
"Yeah, I sent my kid to this place,
and these horrible things happened."
1060
00:53:13,232 --> 00:53:15,609
"I was taken for a fool,
and they took a lot of my money."
1061
00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:17,444
No one wants to admit that.
1062
00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:20,364
The people who are willing to admit that,
that's something.
1063
00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:23,951
"Dear Katherine, I hope
you hear my apologies for failing you
1064
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:25,828
and can find forgiveness in your heart."
1065
00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:28,664
"I would like to sit down
with you, literally if possible,
1066
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,541
and revisit some of those decisions."
1067
00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:32,084
"So how about it?"
1068
00:53:32,167 --> 00:53:34,711
"I think a visit would be healing
for both of us."
1069
00:53:34,795 --> 00:53:36,463
"Love, Dad."
1070
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:39,091
Testing, testing.
1071
00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:46,473
What do you say? What do I say to Dad?
How do I greet him? What do you…
1072
00:53:46,557 --> 00:53:48,309
-What do I do?
-Just be like, "Hi."
1073
00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:53,981
-"What's up?"
-"Hi. You hired strangers to kidnap me."
1074
00:53:54,815 --> 00:53:57,693
Wait, is that Dad,
or is that an old woman?
1075
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:00,446
That's scary.
1076
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,031
I think that's an old woman.
1077
00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:05,325
That was a false alarm.
1078
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:07,453
I was not prepared.
1079
00:54:11,623 --> 00:54:12,750
Yes!
1080
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:15,377
How you doing?
1081
00:54:15,460 --> 00:54:18,172
-What's that?
-Um, we're recording there.
1082
00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:20,716
Well, you going to record giving me a hug?
1083
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:22,092
Sure.
1084
00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:23,802
How you doing?
1085
00:54:24,344 --> 00:54:26,764
I'm doing good
now that I'm seeing you.
1086
00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:29,808
Ah.
1087
00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,811
I hope you don't mind that I'm recording,
1088
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:34,980
but considering
what you've done to me in the past,
1089
00:54:35,063 --> 00:54:37,483
I feel like I need to document everything
1090
00:54:38,025 --> 00:54:41,945
in case you have strangers
hiding in the bushes about to kidnap me
1091
00:54:42,029 --> 00:54:44,948
and incarcerate me for 15 months.
1092
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,784
Well, there are none.
1093
00:54:47,868 --> 00:54:49,745
What do you have to say for yourself?
1094
00:54:49,828 --> 00:54:52,206
I'm really sorry for that.
1095
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:56,335
All right, well…
1096
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:58,587
There we go!
That's a wrap.
1097
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:04,802
And really good to see you.
1098
00:55:06,053 --> 00:55:07,304
I really missed you.
1099
00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:10,140
I have complicated feelings
about seeing you right now.
1100
00:55:10,224 --> 00:55:12,684
I know you do. I know you do.
1101
00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:18,649
I wish that I had figured it out
really quick.
1102
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:22,986
But, uh, it was a terrible mistake,
and I'm so sorry.
1103
00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:28,408
Do you know
how long 15 months is for a kid?
1104
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:30,202
Yes, it was terrible.
1105
00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:33,205
You sent me away
to a place where I was…
1106
00:55:34,706 --> 00:55:37,417
vilified, and told I was the problem.
1107
00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:38,543
I was a kid.
1108
00:55:38,627 --> 00:55:41,130
I didn't know
they were gonna do that to you.
1109
00:55:41,213 --> 00:55:43,841
You wrote in your letters.
I can read them back to you…
1110
00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:45,759
You know what? They…
1111
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:49,262
That's something
you and I are in agreement on. They…
1112
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:52,766
Those programs, and this is why
I'm with you on the programs,
1113
00:55:52,849 --> 00:55:56,437
they manipulate parents, and once, uh…
1114
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,898
I'm so sorry, Katherine.
I am so sorry, sweetie.
1115
00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:01,316
Um, they…
1116
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,569
Seeing my dad
for the first time in years
1117
00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:05,028
was a lot to process.
1118
00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:06,572
- We can take a break.
- Yeah.
1119
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:09,658
And it wasn't something
we could fix in one conversation.
1120
00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:13,829
To his credit,
he did eventually pull me from Ivy Ridge.
1121
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,999
It only took him 15 months.
1122
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:19,710
What happened
was I was a level four,
1123
00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:24,298
and Miss Elva comes stomping over
into the gym, and she's like…
1124
00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:28,969
"Katherine Daniel,
you're coming with me to the boys' side,
1125
00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:31,513
and we're going
to Jason Finlinson's office!"
1126
00:56:31,596 --> 00:56:33,598
And my brain is just racing,
1127
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:36,727
trying to figure out,
"What did I do? What's happening?"
1128
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:40,063
And she's yelling at me the whole way,
and then we opened the door,
1129
00:56:40,147 --> 00:56:45,277
and right there,
where the camera is, was my dad.
1130
00:56:45,777 --> 00:56:48,989
And he was just like,
"Hey! I'm here! We're going home!"
1131
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,366
And I'm like, "What? Wait, I'm going…
I'm going home?"
1132
00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:55,412
Like, you can't process it,
and it was all just a blur.
1133
00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:58,415
I can't remember really too much,
1134
00:56:58,499 --> 00:57:01,418
except I think they try to get you out
kind of in a hurry.
1135
00:57:01,501 --> 00:57:03,670
- They don't want people to see.
- Yeah. Right.
1136
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:06,256
- You can't say goodbye to anyone.
- Yep.
1137
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:08,550
Couldn't say goodbye to any of you guys.
1138
00:57:08,634 --> 00:57:12,304
You know, I'd been
in this building for 15 months.
1139
00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:16,266
And next thing I know,
we're speeding down the highway.
1140
00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:21,021
I just felt physically ill
'cause it was sensory overload.
1141
00:57:21,104 --> 00:57:25,901
I was seeing trees in the sky.
And this world I'd been in,
1142
00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:28,028
that it felt like
I had almost always been in
1143
00:57:28,112 --> 00:57:31,114
and would never be able to leave,
was just gone.
1144
00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:34,701
And it was this weird mix of emotion,
'cause you're overwhelmed,
1145
00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:37,579
but you're also like,
"Oh my God. I'm out. I'm out."
1146
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:40,957
"I'm free. I'm out.
What does this mean? What am I doing?"
1147
00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:46,838
And, you know, that just started
my lifelong anxiety disorder.
1148
00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:54,262
'Cause I didn't know how to adjust
to real life after all this bullshit.
1149
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:59,309
Adjusting to life
outside of the program was very difficult.
1150
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:01,895
I would wander the grocery store,
overwhelmed with the choices.
1151
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:04,564
I'd have panic attacks
while trying to figure out what to order
1152
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:05,941
at the Taco Bell drive-through.
1153
00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:07,901
Taco Bell,
may I take your order?
1154
00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:09,319
Yeah, just give us a sec.
1155
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:11,238
- Um, Pepsi.
- Pepsi.
1156
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:13,240
Oh no, not Pepsi.
1157
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,368
I had extreme social anxiety.
1158
00:58:16,451 --> 00:58:18,286
I still do.
1159
00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:20,956
I'd missed out
on a year of pop culture.
1160
00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:24,501
There's an
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
joke
in there somewhere.
1161
00:58:24,584 --> 00:58:29,089
That's gonna be, uh…
you know, a fascinating transition.
1162
00:58:31,717 --> 00:58:33,510
- Yeah!
- Yes! Yes!
1163
00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:36,054
Martha Stewart
turning herself in.
1164
00:58:36,137 --> 00:58:39,057
My friends, we cannot win this election.
1165
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:41,059
I was so confused
when I got out
1166
00:58:41,143 --> 00:58:42,853
and Lindsay Lohan was the new "it girl."
1167
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,897
The girl from
The Parent Trap?
Okay.
1168
00:58:46,481 --> 00:58:47,858
I will never forgive the program
1169
00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:50,777
for denying me
the theatrical experience of
Mean Girls.
1170
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:53,572
Get in, loser. We're going shopping.
1171
00:58:54,698 --> 00:58:55,699
Peace out, homie.
1172
00:58:59,578 --> 00:59:02,372
But just because I was out
didn't mean I was free.
1173
00:59:02,456 --> 00:59:06,084
The threat of being sent back
was constantly hanging over my head.
1174
00:59:06,168 --> 00:59:08,253
I was walking on eggshells
around my stepmother
1175
00:59:08,336 --> 00:59:10,213
and biding my time until I turned 18.
1176
00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:13,049
After my friend Diana
was pulled from Ivy Ridge,
1177
00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:16,219
she was only home for a few months
before she was sent back.
1178
00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:18,430
But this time
to a different WWASP program,
1179
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:21,016
Midwest Academy in Keokuk, Iowa.
1180
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:24,478
The director of Midwest Academy,
Ben Trane, was recently convicted
1181
00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:26,771
of sexually abusing children
in the program.
1182
00:59:26,855 --> 00:59:29,941
He took Diana and a few other girls
on a cross-country trip
1183
00:59:30,025 --> 00:59:33,278
to PC-3, where she graduated
from the program.
1184
00:59:33,362 --> 00:59:37,407
When I graduated,
we stopped at Lichfield's estate.
1185
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,995
I call it an estate. It was like a canyon.
It was like a valley.
1186
00:59:43,538 --> 00:59:44,540
I was like, "What's that?"
1187
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:46,667
And they're like,
"That's where the maids live."
1188
00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:50,504
"And that's where the ranch hands live
who take care of the animals."
1189
00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:57,594
They had basketball courts,
multiple pools, ponds, rivers.
1190
00:59:57,677 --> 01:00:00,305
They had multiple guesthouses.
1191
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,641
They had a whole room dedicated
1192
01:00:02,724 --> 01:00:05,101
to when they went on safaris
and killed animals.
1193
01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:11,483
And there was this elaborate fountain of,
like, statues of all his children.
1194
01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:15,404
And they were like this,
and water was coming out of their hands.
1195
01:00:15,487 --> 01:00:16,947
It was just very bizarre.
1196
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:19,115
After 22 months at Ivy Ridge,
1197
01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:21,785
then another year and a half
at Midwest Academy,
1198
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:25,163
Diana ended up spending
three and a half years in the program,
1199
01:00:25,247 --> 01:00:28,667
which cost over $175,000.
1200
01:00:29,250 --> 01:00:33,005
And I remember when I got to PC-3
and told my mom what I saw at Lichfield's,
1201
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,590
and my mom,
I remember her face, and she was like…
1202
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:38,302
"So that's where all our money went."
1203
01:00:40,845 --> 01:00:43,598
In
The Count of Monte Cristo,
Dumas writes,
1204
01:00:43,682 --> 01:00:46,351
"If you wish to discover
the guilty person,
1205
01:00:46,435 --> 01:00:49,020
first find out
to whom the crime might be useful."
104686