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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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My name is Maddalena,
I'm 30 years old,
4
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,320
and I do not like anything about myself.
5
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,400
Starting with my body. It's a far cry
from the ones seen in commercials,
6
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,000
which is why I don't like it
and I'm sure men don't either.
7
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,320
I'm single, but I share
my apartment with Stefano,
8
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,760
a roommate I would describe as shitty?
9
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,200
He's lazy.
He lives his life like a videogame,
10
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,600
in which I always lose.
11
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,000
My mother, Grazia, is the parish's queen.
12
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,560
A widow with two daughters,
me and my sister Maria
13
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,600
who is skinny, married, has one child
and another on the way.
14
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,240
Madda, please don't.
Carbs will make you fat.
15
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,920
-You need to eat for two.
-Thanks, Mom.
16
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,200
Can you guess who her favorite is?
17
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,600
I work for a publishing house as a temp.
18
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,640
My contract is as uncertain
as my mental health
19
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,360
because I work a lot and make very little,
and get treated...
20
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,960
-Thanks.
-...like a doormat.
21
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,840
Except by him.
22
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,640
I'm a ghostwriter.
23
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,160
Basically I write books
for people who can't do it themselves...
24
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,400
Drink herbal tea, bitches!
25
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,520
... and sometimes don't
even read them.
26
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,160
Buy the book to get a photo with Samantha.
27
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,680
This rectangular object made of paper
that you can flip through
28
00:01:59,759 --> 00:02:01,840
and buy is called a book.
29
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,240
We've given you our best writer.
30
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,680
It feels like you stepped inside my head.
31
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,880
I thought it was empty,
but no, she was in there!
32
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,840
Of course, I always fall
for the wrong guy.
33
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,600
You're sharp, clever, deep.
34
00:02:19,079 --> 00:02:19,920
Let's fuck.
35
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,960
Or maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem.
36
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:29,240
STILL
FABULOUS
37
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:45,880
It's you.
38
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,400
Who else would it be?
39
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,920
What's all this for?
40
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,880
It's fat-reducing.
Helps take the weight off.
41
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,600
Does the reason
for this torture have a name?
42
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960
Not that asshole Donato?
43
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,400
He's not an asshole.
44
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,400
You're about to freeze-dry
your self-esteem again.
45
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,280
I hate having to pick up
the crumbs of your self-respect.
46
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,560
You can't even brush your own teeth.
47
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,520
This is an eco-friendly toothbrush.
48
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,800
Anyways, Donato and his wife
are separating.
49
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,680
He's taking me out this weekend
for the first time.
50
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,360
Just the two of us.
51
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,560
Maddalena?
52
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,160
You know, I'm really...
53
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,000
turned on.
54
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,360
Why don't you undress for me?
55
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,200
-Okay.
-Room, turn up the music.
56
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,840
Feeling shy?
57
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,520
Even in a baggy tee, you're beautiful.
Come here.
58
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,040
You first.
59
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,280
Use your mouth.
60
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,720
What happened?
61
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,520
Room, turn off the lights.
62
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,040
Room, turn on the lights.
63
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,680
-Why?
-I like dim lighting.
64
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,160
I don't.
65
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,600
I like to see what I'm doing.
66
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,880
-Okay, no...
-What is it?
67
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,520
It can't be like this, Maddalena.
68
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,480
Do you want me to tie you up?
Do you want to start off with a sex toy?
69
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,680
Should I spank you?
70
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,320
We could watch porn.
71
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,120
Too much?
72
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,440
Well,
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00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,080
I give up.
74
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,120
I've never been with a woman like you.
75
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,760
What...
76
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,200
What do you mean by that?
77
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:55,760
A smart woman, a good girl
who doesn't care about sex.
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00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,920
That's all.
79
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,880
What is it?
80
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,400
If you don't mind,
I'm going to go to sleep.
81
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,200
See you at breakfast.
82
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,080
Room, turn off the lights.
83
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,640
Fuck!
84
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,240
Ste!
85
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:37,000
-Use a pot to heat up food!
-I'd have to wash them after.
86
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,440
-I fucked up with Donato.
-No shit.
87
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,720
Don't make that face.
I'm not good at comforting people.
88
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,680
-Plus, I'm busy talking to a hot guy.
-Come on!
89
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,760
It was a disaster. He said I'm not sexy.
90
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,760
He even asked me to watch porn!
91
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,040
Why not? I do it all the time.
92
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,400
Am I the only one
who's never watched porn?
93
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,240
This cake is delicious.
94
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,200
Where are you going?
95
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,040
That's my space cake. There's weed in it.
96
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,160
Be careful. It's too much for you.
97
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,840
Wow. This Legolas guy is hot.
98
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,360
HOW TO BE AMAZING IN BED
99
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,400
HOT? - MAKE HIM MELT
GUIDE YOUR MAN TO PLEASURE
100
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,720
HOW TO PLEASE PARTNER
VEGAN POPSICLE BLOWJOB
101
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,600
HAVE SEX LIKE A PORNSTAR
102
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,680
PLEASE HIM!!!
VALENTINA NAPPI'S SECRETS - ENTER
103
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,080
You okay?
104
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,800
Need a hand or will yours do?
105
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,440
Easy Edizioni, good morning.
106
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,320
He's not available.
Do you want to leave a message?
107
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,320
Hi, Erika.
108
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,160
Samantha's book did so well,
I had an idea for another.
109
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,880
The weekly sales report?
110
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,520
-I sent it out at 8:00 this morning.
-I want it before everyone else.
111
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,840
-Printed out, on my desk at 7:00 a.m.
-All right.
112
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,960
Good. If you want to be like me,
you have to give it your all.
113
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,200
Actually, I want to be a writer.
114
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,840
I had this idea for a self-help book.
115
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,520
The ultimate manual
that will make all others obsolete.
116
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,960
-Ironically, of course.
-We love your sense of humor.
117
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,760
Can we talk about this after I pee?
118
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,640
Marilena, please make coffee for everyone.
119
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,560
-Thanks.
-It's Maddalena.
120
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,280
My name is Maddalena.
121
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,120
Maddalena.
122
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,000
-They're coming. Donato.
-Go.
123
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,280
-We're ready.
-Let's do it.
124
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,480
-Sit there.
-Okay.
125
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,800
Good morning.
126
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,440
Everybody, please welcome Lara.
127
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,840
Influencer, content creator.
128
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,560
Tommaso is our press guy.
129
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,200
Donato, our Editorial Director.
130
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,880
This is Serena, my manager.
131
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,600
Hello... Stop.
132
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,480
-What are you doing?
-It...
133
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,960
Sorry, it's for our social media page.
134
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,840
She has a built-in face filter.
135
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,040
Lara has a flight to Paris to catch, so...
136
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,880
I'm the spokesperson for a product line
that doesn't test on animals.
137
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,040
Not that I've ever seen
a cow wearing face cream!
138
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,440
We'll be quick.
We really believe in this project.
139
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,600
In all modesty, success is our creed.
140
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:23,960
Your book...
141
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,640
what do you want it to be about?
142
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,000
Me!
143
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,200
Me and all the obstacles I've overcome,
144
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,760
such as brittle fingernails,
145
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,400
oily scalp, split ends...
146
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,360
-My whole story.
-Well...
147
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,840
That's an excellent starting point
to delve deeper.
148
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,200
Delve deeper?
149
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,280
-You want me to talk about cellulite?
-No.
150
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:52,280
In any case, we can provide you
with our best ghostwriter...
151
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,840
And author.
152
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,520
Your book, Lara, will be a bestseller.
153
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,480
We at Easy Edizioni
aim to fill the shelves at gas stations,
154
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,840
-supermarkets...
-Newsstands.
155
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,800
-Everywhere!
-Great.
156
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,840
Unlike award-winning writers,
who are losers unable to make big sales,
157
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,640
we go for big numbers.
158
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,880
-We'll have it published by Christmas.
-Christmas? Perfect!
159
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,360
I know. Let's make the cover red.
160
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,560
Genius. It'll make the perfect gift.
161
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,880
Red at Christmas, what a novel idea.
162
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,320
-You're a visionary, Lara.
-I know!
163
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,080
We'd like for her...
164
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,560
to spend part of the day with you,
165
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,880
so that she'll be able to tell
your readers the truth.
166
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,280
Look, nobody likes the truth.
167
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,080
Haven't you noticed
that when something is beautiful,
168
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,600
everyone says it looks fake?
169
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,440
It's just a way for the two of you
to get to know each other, right...
170
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,120
Maddalena.
171
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,200
Don't worry, she's our best writer.
172
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,360
I'm sure your voice will come through.
173
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,800
Yes. Absolutely.
174
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,200
You drugged me with that cake!
175
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,400
You're the one who took off with it.
176
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,680
Anyway, Grandma Carla's recipe
is very mild.
177
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,400
-Do you have any tights?
-On me?
178
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,320
-No, at home.
-Why do you need them?
179
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,040
-A kink of mine. You got any?
-In my drawer.
180
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,480
Listen, Ste,
I want to give Donato another chance.
181
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,960
He believes in me.
182
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,840
And he's super-hot.
183
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,400
He loves books!
I mean, he's a catch, isn't he?
184
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,080
-What should I do?
-What you see in porn.
185
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,800
I can't slip into the shower with him.
We're at the office.
186
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,480
I'll throw him in an armchair
and I'll ride him.
187
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,320
No, I'm wearing pants.
188
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,560
I'll get on my knees under his desk.
189
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,880
Nice. Bat your eyes at him
like Sailor Moon.
190
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,280
Sailor Moon?
191
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,440
Like a horny anime girl.
192
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,000
What if he doesn't understand?
193
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,040
Then he's a moron.
194
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,520
Send him a nude pic.
195
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,400
Actually, since you're at the office,
photocopy your boobs.
196
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,720
That's so '90s.
197
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,360
It's coming back.
198
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,720
-It's better than a toilet selfie.
-Okay.
199
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,600
Okay, stay on the line. I'll try.
200
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,640
What are you doing?
201
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,040
Running a check.
It needs one every now and then.
202
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,400
Of course.
203
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,000
How's it going?
204
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,880
Fine.
205
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,040
Okay. Bye.
206
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,400
Is it in color, at least?
207
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,600
Well...
208
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,560
It's an interesting editorial project.
209
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,680
Is it too much?
210
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,760
I'll take care of it.
211
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,080
All right...
212
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,560
Sailor Moon.
213
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,360
-Sailor Moon.
-What are you doing?
214
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,280
Okay!
215
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,440
Are you giving a blowjob
or a prostrate check?
216
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,560
Are you okay?
217
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,840
Yes! All good.
218
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,120
-Working under a desk takes some practice.
-What's happening to me?
219
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,000
Maddalena.
220
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,160
-Are you real?
-I'm not, but those are.
221
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,760
Are you hitting on me?
222
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,280
Maddalena, what's going on?
223
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,360
Nothing. I lost my hair tie.
224
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,720
-I'm fine.
-Your hair tie?
225
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,960
-What do you want?
-You summoned me.
226
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,960
-Why did you come here?
-I can come anywhere.
227
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,040
-Leave!
-Maddalena.
228
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,760
Did you change your mind?
229
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,320
It wasn't a bad idea.
230
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,520
No! I mean, yes. Sorry, actually, I...
231
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,680
Actually, sorry.
I have so many things to do.
232
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,840
So I have to go do the things
I have to to do.
233
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,000
God. Not you again.
234
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,360
When will the effects
of the cake wear off?
235
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,880
We need to talk.
236
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,440
-Sorry, did I get you wet?
-You're not the first.
237
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,320
-Why is this happening to me?
-You watched too much porn.
238
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,760
Billie Eilish is right.
"Porn destroys your brain."
239
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,840
No, that's religion.
240
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,120
You're not real. You don't exist.
241
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,480
You're just in my head,
you're just in my...
242
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,520
I'm in a lot of people's heads.
243
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,680
Please go away, please.
244
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,400
Go away, please go away.
245
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,360
-Come.
-Now?
246
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,400
Come with me.
247
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,800
Sure.
248
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,320
-Where are we going?
-Inside your self-esteem.
249
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,480
But that's a toilet.
250
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,000
It's just the entrance.
251
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:23,480
Voilà!
252
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,280
-This is my self-esteem?
-Exactly.
253
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,400
-It's an empty room.
-Exactly.
254
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,400
Funny. I thought I'd find my mother
comparing me to my sister.
255
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,160
Shit, my sister!
256
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:47,040
A white cat with blue eyes
257
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,280
An old vase on the TV
258
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,400
The smoke of the candles in the air
259
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,840
Two cheeks, red as apples
260
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,800
She has a potion against jealousy...
261
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,560
Sweets, sweets.
262
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,640
Pineapple helps lose weight.
263
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,160
Isn't your sister talented?
264
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,800
She's always had a beautiful voice.
265
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,520
-She was even chosen for...
-The Zecchino d'Oro. I know, Mom.
266
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,520
Then your father died.
267
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,160
And I couldn't take her to the finals.
268
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,360
She would have won for sure.
269
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,920
Well done. Let's eat!
270
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,880
-Let's go!
-Fill up those bellies!
271
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,680
Have you seen Marcello's new girlfriend?
She's plain, so plain...
272
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,640
"Girlfriend." Marcello never gets serious.
273
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,040
He always looks so handsome though, right?
274
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,600
Which one is he?
275
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,640
-They all look the same.
-He's over there.
276
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,640
Mom!
277
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,000
He hasn't changed at all.
278
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,640
You made a wonderful couple.
279
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,080
You and Marcello, Maria and Giuseppe.
280
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,960
Two sisters and two brothers
united in the love of Jesus.
281
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:05,320
If you lost some weight and took better
care of yourself, he'd come back to you.
282
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,040
I don't want him back.
He broke up with me on Christmas Eve.
283
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,720
After taking his present.
284
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,320
Shall I bless the prosecco?
285
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,400
Father Massimo!
286
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,480
I think your mother
wants to bang the vicar.
287
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,840
Not now, Valentina. Go away!
288
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,520
Sister-in-law! A drink?
289
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,400
Actually, Maria wanted to make a toast.
290
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,040
Excuse me!
291
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,240
Now that we're all here. Guys...
292
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,240
I know I shouldn't do this
with cranberry juice,
293
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:48,920
but I would really like
to raise a heartfelt toast
294
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:54,480
to Marcello and Ludovica Vittoria,
who've just announced their engagement!
295
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,320
Congratulations!
296
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,680
And to your sister.
297
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,680
And a toast to my big sister, Madda.
298
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:07,360
I hope that one day
you'll finally find a good man
299
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,120
who will make you as happy
as Giuseppe makes me every day.
300
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,000
-Thanks.
-You deserve it.
301
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,480
We'll pray for you.
Won't we, Father Massimo?
302
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,080
-Day and night.
-To Madda!
303
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,800
-Thank you.
-To Madda!
304
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,160
Now for the long-awaited moment.
305
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,640
-Let me.
-The gender reveal! Cut the cake.
306
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,080
-I'm cutting...
-Cut away!
307
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,560
-Oh, my God!
-What will it be?
308
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,080
Here we go!
309
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,440
-A boy!
-It's a boy!
310
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,760
-A boy!
-A boy!
311
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,720
Good thing it's a boy.
I bought a blue onesie.
312
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,760
You could tell from her pointed belly.
313
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,360
I got her a thermos
to store the placenta in.
314
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,680
Cool. I made this with my first placenta.
315
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,400
-I'd like to try cooking it this time.
-Do you have a good recipe?
316
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,200
-I'll send it to you.
-Thanks!
317
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,720
I enjoy placenta with cheese and pork.
318
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,680
Listen, do you need some air?
319
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,000
-A lot of it?
-Yes.
320
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,880
Come with me.
321
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,880
Sorry. Thanks.
322
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,240
-Can I light this?
-Yes, of course.
323
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,400
-You smoke?
-No, I don't.
324
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,600
I did eat a space cake once.
325
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,640
-Really?
-Yes.
326
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,080
I'm the black sheep of the family.
327
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,000
Come on.
328
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,800
-Come on.
-Okay.
329
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,720
You have nothing in common with them.
330
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,000
What do you have to do with them?
331
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,960
You'll never believe this,
but I was officially invited.
332
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,520
You?
333
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,400
You're breaking my heart!
334
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:09,200
I've been friends
with your brother-in-law for a long time.
335
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,720
My dad and his went
to university together.
336
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,800
Now they're colleagues at the hospital.
337
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,600
But while his dad is proud of him,
338
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,000
mine has reconsidered his views
on abortion.
339
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,680
So that's why Giuseppe
never told me about you.
340
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,040
He's introduced me
to all his single friends.
341
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,800
Who says I'm single?
342
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,200
You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't think...
343
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,200
Sorry. You're right.
344
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,680
I... I don't know why...
345
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,200
I've been single for ages.
346
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,360
But Giuseppe would never introduce
his wife's sister to someone like me.
347
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,680
-What do you mean?
-A black sheep.
348
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,520
You're one too?
349
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,880
Clearly, they don't know the type
I usually fall for.
350
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,280
Good thing my second nephew
is another boy.
351
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,760
If it was a girl,
I would've felt sorry for her.
352
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,280
Destined to diet her whole life,
353
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,560
to look into a mirror and hate herself.
354
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,360
Destined to try on 300 outfits to go
on a date with some internet asshole
355
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,720
who thinks he's hot shit because his mom
always told him he was special.
356
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,600
You should drop by the club.
357
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,640
It's called L'Altrove.
358
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,800
They're hosting a cool event there
on Thursday night.
359
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,320
Okay. Sure. Why not?
360
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:46,720
I have to go.
361
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Thanks for that.
362
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,280
Whenever you feel like messing around,
I'm here.
363
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,440
Okay.
364
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,440
By the way, I'm Leonardo.
365
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,520
Maddalena.
366
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,400
I haven't forgotten.
367
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:04,800
Be careful.
368
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,560
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
369
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,280
"What do you want?"
370
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,960
You! What do you want?
371
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,240
What do I want?
372
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,080
I want to be sexy!
373
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,280
You finally said it.
374
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,760
What makes you think you're not sexy?
375
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,320
Look at me!
376
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,360
I'd have sex with you.
377
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,440
But I'm not sexy enough for Donato.
378
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,000
Who cares about Donato. Come with me.
379
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:54,840
Where are we now?
380
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,200
In the world of porn.
381
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,560
Here, women are sorted into categories.
382
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,640
Categories? Who came up with them?
383
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,920
Men. They can't even jerk off
without being given directions.
384
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,440
Lesson number one. All women are sexy.
385
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,200
Honestly, I'd fuck the ones
without children too.
386
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,480
Poor things. Are they okay?
387
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,680
It's a fashion style.
They're fit as a fiddle.
388
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,480
Easy to come across
at any Calcutta concert.
389
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,240
I didn't know indie was sexy.
390
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,360
It is. And no shaving required.
391
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,320
Girls.
392
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,720
Lesson number two. To each their own.
393
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,000
For vintage lovers.
394
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,080
Natural girls.
395
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,120
For people who got stuck
in the Cristina d'Avena loop.
396
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,160
All these are considered sexy?
397
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,400
Lesson number three.
398
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,640
Women are sexy when they feel sexy.
399
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,720
It's up to you, not the observer.
400
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,440
In fact, lesson number four.
401
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,560
The shape of your body
has nothing to do with it.
402
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,360
These are big beautiful women.
403
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,920
Beauties from size 48 and upwards.
404
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,640
They're stunning!
405
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,040
That dress!
406
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,800
Ste.
407
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,520
What's going on?
408
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,760
It's an eco-friendly drying rack.
I got it from the dumpster.
409
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,480
I have nothing to wear.
Want to come shopping with me?
410
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:40,200
I can't. It's Thursday. You know I have
dinner with my friends on Thursdays.
411
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,720
It's 11:00 a.m.
412
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:46,200
Don't ask me to be the best friend
who takes you to the mall,
413
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,080
I'm not that kind of guy.
414
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,600
I have my dignity.
415
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:51,440
Yeah.
416
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,040
We wouldn't actually be going to the mall.
417
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,160
No?
418
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:57,880
No.
419
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,040
Excellent!
420
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,080
Could you warn me before you show up?
You keep making me jump!
421
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,760
This would get you tons of views
on social media.
422
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,920
-Want to try?
-I'll take your word for it.
423
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,640
Nice, isn't it?
424
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,520
If you like it, my work here is done.
425
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,680
No, please, stay with me.
426
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,800
All right.
427
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,800
Let's make a deal. I'll teach you
to be sexy, if you learn to love yourself.
428
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,160
I didn't know you were such a romantic.
429
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,160
Yes. I love having anal sex
under the stars.
430
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,680
-Do I really look all right?
-You look fantastic.
431
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,000
Buy it, put it on, go out and have fun!
432
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,320
Are you hitting on me again?
433
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,000
-Is everything okay?
-Yes! Here I am.
434
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,040
You know what, it's not bad.
435
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,920
What are you wearing it to?
436
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,360
Well...
437
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,960
-I thought I might go...
-Are you getting shy?
438
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:22,760
I'm coming with you.
439
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,240
With me?
440
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,360
Yes. With you and your friends.
441
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,080
Let's have a crazy night out.
We'll have fun. You never take me out.
442
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,480
-A night out with gays doesn't count.
-Shut up!
443
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,200
-What?
-No.
444
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,000
It's just if I can't tag along...
I'll just shut up.
445
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,800
Of course you can, if you want to.
446
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,320
Thanks.
447
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,960
You're a coward.
448
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,640
Don't talk when people are around
or I'll go to therapy and make you vanish.
449
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,960
You don't need therapy for that,
nine inches would be enough.
450
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,920
Help me out, I need to feed.
451
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,640
-Turn right.
-Okay.
452
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,440
-Hey.
-Hi.
453
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,240
What is this place?
454
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,480
These are my friends.
455
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,120
We're Gaymers. Gay gamers.
456
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,880
-Gaymers.
-Gay... Yes.
457
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:13,840
I...
458
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,200
I thought this would be a club,
some place to dance and have fun.
459
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,840
We never go to those places.
They wouldn't let us in anyway.
460
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,080
Guys, this is Maddalena, my roommate.
461
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,200
You're gorgeous, Maddalena.
What character are you?
462
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,520
Where were you hiding her?
463
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,120
You're super sexy!
464
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,440
Really?
465
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,320
Lesson number five.
466
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,960
Learn to take a compliment. Say thank you.
467
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,040
Thanks!
468
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,760
-Do you want to play with us?
-Enough!
469
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,960
It's Thursday.
You have a date elsewhere, remember?
470
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:50,080
I would love to, but I just realized
I have some place to be...
471
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,760
I'd forgotten.
Maybe I'll see you guys later!
472
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,280
Go. Have fun.
473
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,480
Recently, I've realized I'm getting old.
474
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,440
I've found my first gray hairs,
475
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,160
and I never miss an episode
of Uomini e Donne.
476
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,520
Throne, over.
477
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,600
When I used to go to clubs
like the one we're in now,
478
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,360
I had one goal.
479
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,720
Finding a hot guy who would sleep with me,
480
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,320
and never wanting to hear from me again.
481
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,160
I just spotted one back there...
482
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,880
Meet me in the restroom.
483
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,400
We'll play Rummy. I'll let you win.
Call me granny.
484
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,320
Thanks.
485
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,080
With this, I leave the stage
to another comedian
486
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,480
who, like me, is brave enough
to get up here,
487
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,360
but is terrified of living life.
488
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,040
Leonardo Fedele.
489
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,640
Bravo!
490
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,560
Daniela Delle Foglie. Let's give her
another round of applause.
491
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,200
What shall we discuss tonight?
492
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,160
How about a trend that I think signals
the end of Western society.
493
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,080
Gender reveals. If you don't know what
they are, let me explain.
494
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,560
It's a party of sorts, to announce
495
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,040
and reveal to the world whether the baby
496
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,880
will have a shitty life or not.
497
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,240
In other words,
whether it's a boy or a girl.
498
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,200
And I met a girl,
who is here with us tonight,
499
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,160
who rightly asked,
"Why do we feel the need
500
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,960
"to celebrate the birth of a human
who'll be on a lifelong diet?
501
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:35,720
"Who'll never love herself?
502
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,640
"Who'll have to date someone
she met on the internet?"
503
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,640
Someone who might turn out to be a moron.
Like me.
504
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,800
No, trust me, I wouldn't wish myself
505
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,680
on the bitchiest bitch.
506
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,120
I laugh at my own farts.
507
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,000
I don't wash much.
508
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:55,880
I smoke tons of weed.
509
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,320
I live off the small change
you drop in my hat.
510
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,800
Which never amounts
to very much, assholes!
511
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,480
Acting the clown on this stage
512
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:12,120
is still better than dancing
on social media.
513
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,400
Well said. Enough of these influencers!
514
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,880
I wish they were influencers.
515
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:21,320
They're lawyers, gynecologists,
architects, freelancers!
516
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:26,760
When exactly did humanity
decide to start dancing on social media?
517
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,280
-Thank you.
-Bravo!
518
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,720
But let's move on.
519
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,720
-Is it your first time here?
-Why?
520
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,240
Because I'm sure I would have noticed you.
521
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:45,880
What can I get you?
522
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,120
A craft beer, please.
523
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,320
I'll be outside drinking,
if you'd like to join me.
524
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,960
Okay.
525
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,720
Okay.
526
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,440
-That'll be five euros.
-Sure.
527
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,720
She's my guest.
528
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,200
Give us another
and put everything on my tab.
529
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,880
The tab you've been running
since 2018 and never settled?
530
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,560
Come on, don't embarrass me
in front of my friends!
531
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,600
I swear I'll pay... sooner or later.
532
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:14,680
Yeah, right.
533
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,640
Thanks. You didn't have to.
534
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,000
No worries.
535
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,640
You gave me so many ideas,
it was basically plagiarism.
536
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,440
-Do you want to go for a walk?
-Yeah.
537
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,680
-I'll grab my stuff. See you outside?
-Yeah.
538
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,240
Sure thing. Give me that. I'll wait!
539
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600
Bet you 100 euros I can fuck that fatass.
540
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:44,520
No fucking way.
541
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,520
Did you see her dress? She wants to fuck.
542
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,160
-But does she want to fuck you?
-I'm a catch for someone like that.
543
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,520
Stop it.
544
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,560
Wait, sorry...
545
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,000
What are you doing?
546
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,440
He's a moron.
547
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,760
He'd have to pay
to be with someone like you.
548
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,200
I didn't mean...
What I meant is that you're...
549
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,600
Sorry. I think you're very pretty...
550
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:06,840
All good?
551
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,560
Leonardo, you're amazing! You crack me up.
552
00:34:10,639 --> 00:34:12,120
And you guys really suck.
553
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,480
Shall we?
554
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,000
Leonardo, we love you!
555
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:24,800
You should be a writer.
556
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,120
What you told me at the party
worked great.
557
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,280
It's actually my job. I'm a ghostwriter.
558
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:33,760
I should have known.
559
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:38,960
What do you write about?
560
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,800
You know those self-help books
in the top 10 lists?
561
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,880
Such as Find the Guts to be Brave.
562
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,159
Or Be Who You Are,
but Maybe Less of an Asshole.
563
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,000
Have you never written
anything of your own?
564
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,320
I would like to,
but writing a book is hard.
565
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,240
It takes time, a contract.
566
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,880
If you don't have any followers,
you're a nobody.
567
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,280
You could go on stage in the meantime.
Make yourself heard.
568
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,400
No!
569
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,280
It's not for me.
570
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,120
My place is behind a computer.
571
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,280
-You get to hook up with a lot of people.
-I'm very picky.
572
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:14,920
Really?
573
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,760
What's your type?
574
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,080
I've never told anyone.
575
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,160
Father Pius!
576
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,680
Sorry, but what the fuck
are you talking about?
577
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,520
I've had a crush on him for years.
578
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,800
Maybe because my grandma's house
was full of pictures of him.
579
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,480
I don't know, it's just...
580
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,480
He's super hipster.
581
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,520
Big beard, mysterious look.
582
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,680
He'd definitely ghost you.
583
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,280
Don't laugh.
584
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,080
That's why I don't like Saint Francis.
585
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,880
Vegan, environmentalist, a dog lover.
No way.
586
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,560
No. It's Father Pius for me.
587
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,520
This would sound great on stage.
588
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,200
I think I'll steal it.
589
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,320
I have a...
Well, it's not exactly an audition.
590
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:14,280
Some writers from a comedy TV show
are coming to watch us at the club.
591
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,120
If my dad saw me on TV,
he might start taking me seriously.
592
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,520
You fight a lot?
593
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,880
Worse. He ignores me.
594
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,880
He's the one who got me started,
sending me to church.
595
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,040
What does stand-up comedy have
to do with churchgoing?
596
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,360
Back then,
597
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,360
I went to Sunday school and got bullied.
598
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,120
-At Sunday school?
-Yes.
599
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,200
-You're kidding.
-It's true.
600
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,760
Then one day I lost my temper,
601
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,760
climbed up on the altar,
took the mic from the priest,
602
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,680
and started talking shit
in front of everyone.
603
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,160
And the assholes who beat me up laughed!
604
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:57,520
Amazing.
605
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,920
-What did the priest do?
-He called an exorcist.
606
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,040
Cute. No way that happened.
607
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,560
DONATO: YOU OKAY?
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT LARA'S BOOK TOMORROW.
608
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,160
I NEED ALL YOUR TALENT...
609
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:21,320
I should go. It's getting late.
I have an early start tomorrow.
610
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,280
-Let's keep in touch.
-We will.
611
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,720
-Sure.
-Yeah.
612
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:29,080
Bye.
613
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,200
Sorry.
614
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,040
Bye.
615
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,160
Father Pius? Maybe you're right.
616
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:42,760
Bald, with a hipster beard.
617
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,040
A bit of a bear. Cool.
618
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,480
Trouble with the washing machine?
619
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,080
-Excuse me?
-Your skirt.
620
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,600
It's noticeably shorter than usual.
621
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,960
I wanted to change my style a bit.
622
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,640
-Good choice.
-Thanks.
623
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,960
You wanted to talk about Lara's book?
624
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,360
Yes. I scheduled you a meeting
for this afternoon.
625
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,720
Do your best.
First impressions are important.
626
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,680
Of course.
627
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,240
Then again,
628
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,040
if things go badly, you can always...
629
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,000
try again.
630
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,120
He wants to fuck.
631
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,520
-Are we still talking about Lara?
-Of course.
632
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,240
Prep her well. We're announcing
the book at FEDVED,
633
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,160
the publishing fair that actually sells.
634
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:39,800
What a bitch.
635
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,120
Go now.
636
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,560
-I'm going.
-Go.
637
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,040
Go. Bye.
638
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:01,520
Welcome.
639
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:03,960
Your house is...
640
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,800
Small, I know. It's cramped.
641
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,480
I needed a place downtown.
642
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,240
I'm renovating my lake house, look.
643
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,440
We use this place for work too.
It's very convenient.
644
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,520
Sounds good.
645
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,840
Shall we sit here?
646
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,200
We only use that for photos, it's awful.
647
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:22,920
Let's sit on the real sofa.
648
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,120
Come along.
649
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:28,640
Here we are.
650
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,160
Girls.
651
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,520
-Thanks.
-Thanks.
652
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,640
Have a slice of protein cake.
Apples and cinnamon.
653
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,560
-Smells like happiness.
-It has the calories of a chickpea.
654
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:45,720
I know.
655
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,440
Shall we get you ready
for the publishing fair?
656
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:54,800
We'll announce your book and you'll have
to answer questions from journalists.
657
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,000
You think I can do it?
658
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,320
Of course. I'll help you.
659
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:03,120
Sometimes I'm scared of sounding stupid,
and of carpeted hotel floors.
660
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,240
Not in this hotel.
661
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,960
The event will be held
at a five-star resort.
662
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,400
Those are nothing special,
when you have a spa at home.
663
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,760
Where would you like to start?
Your family?
664
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,520
My parents separated
when I was very young,
665
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,520
and they worked all the time,
so I hardly saw them.
666
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,600
My mum now manages my company.
667
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,000
I get along with my dad's girlfriend.
668
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,680
She's my age, so...
669
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,240
I was raised by my grandmother.
670
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,800
She's...
671
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:36,040
-She's very ill now.
-I'm sorry.
672
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,360
What do the doctors say?
673
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,480
That there's nothing to be done.
There's no cure
674
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,800
for ingrown nails.
675
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,080
-Oh, dear.
-Yeah.
676
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,600
Why don't we go around looking
for gender reveal parties to crash?
677
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,280
I need new material.
678
00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,640
You could join the pilgrimage
to Our Lady of Childbirth,
679
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,920
organized for my sister by my mother.
680
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,720
Wow. A home elevator.
681
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,440
It's practically the size
of a studio apartment.
682
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,560
-What a great life she has.
-Great?
683
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,600
-Her life is a cage.
-What are you talking about?
684
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,240
Lara's famous, she's rolling in cash
and everybody wants her.
685
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,120
It must be amazing
to be so admired and desired.
686
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,200
Accepted? Picked?
687
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,720
That too, I guess. Why?
688
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,720
If that's what you want.
689
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,040
What's happening?
690
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,280
Open this thing. Valentina, no!
691
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,040
Where are we this time?
692
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:46,000
-A blow-up doll store?
-Sort of. These are women.
693
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,040
Here, women are picked. Look.
694
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:51,520
But...
695
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,040
This is what you want, right?
To be picked.
696
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,400
-That's Maria!
-Of course.
697
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,920
Father Massimo!
698
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,760
Where's he going?
699
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,200
My mother is here too?
700
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,560
Yes. They're all here.
701
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,560
Go. Go get picked.
702
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,080
Madda, instead of begging men
for attention
703
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,280
in the hopes that someone
will finally pick you,
704
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,480
why don't you learn to pick yourself?
705
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,000
What do you mean?
706
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,800
Lesson number six.
707
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,400
In life, you have to figure out
what you like and go get it.
708
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,520
You need to become an active subject.
709
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,520
Stop being a passive object.
710
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:12,640
How do I do that?
711
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,360
Too skinny for me.
712
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,280
Lesson number seven.
Never judge a book by its cover.
713
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,000
It might deliver a big surprise.
714
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,000
Madda?
715
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,840
Can I use your straightener?
716
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,400
-Yes.
-Thanks.
717
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,000
What do you need it for?
718
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:32,800
This guy?
719
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,640
Cute.
720
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:36,920
What if he doesn't like me?
721
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,640
Subject, not object, Madda.
722
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,360
He looks interesting.
723
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,800
Why did you delete him?
724
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,680
He likes inexperienced girls.
725
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,480
Then he's perfect for me.
726
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,520
No, these guys are the worst.
727
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,400
They hate women like me
and love women like you.
728
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,800
Because they can shape them
into whatever they want.
729
00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,080
That is, a mother.
730
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,160
You're right. Thanks.
731
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,480
Enough with the sappy kisses.
732
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,560
Lick my pussy or stop it.
733
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:07,840
Done.
734
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,640
-Did you use it to toast bread?
-No.
735
00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:12,880
I straightened my armpit hair
to see how long it is.
736
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,040
It's for a challenge. I won!
737
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,680
Why haven't I kicked him out?
738
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,240
You don't earn enough to live on your own.
739
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,560
He's cute. I like him.
740
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,040
MATCH!
MESSAGE - CONTINUE BROWSING
741
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,960
We matched! Amazing!
742
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,200
I get it. All right.
743
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,480
I get it, okay!
744
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,000
Come on.
745
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,920
I'm sure he also has a dick.
746
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,800
Hey. How is he?
747
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,120
He's an XL.
748
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,040
Okay.
749
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,240
So? What's it like to pick?
750
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:00,320
Nice.
751
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:05,840
It makes me feel new,
powerful, invincible.
752
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,000
It makes me feel sexy!
753
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,920
Ready to seduce... Donato!
754
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,040
No! Not Donato!
755
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,520
Not Donato!
756
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,240
Fuck it!
757
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:38,080
Yeah, he'll never notice me.
758
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,640
Cut it out! Have I taught you nothing?
759
00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:43,160
You're still comparing yourself to others?
760
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:46,720
These "others" are extremely hot!
761
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,080
Then picture them as they... I don't know.
Pop a pimple.
762
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,520
They're still hot.
763
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,240
Lesson number eight.
764
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,360
Why waste time comparing
yourself to other women,
765
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:57,840
when you could bang them.
766
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,240
You're not helping.
767
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,360
There's Erika. Let's go.
768
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,880
Finally. Check us in, we're busy.
769
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,320
Have you seen Lara?
I can't tell her apart.
770
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,400
-They all look the same.
-She's over there.
771
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,760
The writer is very good.
772
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,880
-Isn't that...
-He had a book written too.
773
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:17,880
I'll send it to you.
774
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,840
They're friends. Let's ask him
to help with the launch.
775
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,440
Great idea! Take care of it.
776
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:24,360
Where's Donato?
777
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,120
Waiting in the conference room.
778
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:27,240
-See you there.
-Okay.
779
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:28,760
Thank you.
780
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:30,120
-Good work.
-Sorry.
781
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:32,600
Right.
782
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,160
-How boring. There's no pictures.
-Why bring it to the spa?
783
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:43,000
Mariano gave me this.
What should I do with it?
784
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,520
Post it to your Stories, I guess.
785
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,440
Can we invite him to the launch?
786
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,840
What kind of Stories?
787
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,800
I don't know...
788
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,720
Like what you usually post
to promote something.
789
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,920
For example, "I'll try out this cream
and let you know."
790
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,400
The usual.
791
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:03,120
How do I try out a book?
792
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:07,520
Good question.
793
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,400
-You read it?
-Read?
794
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,040
I'm going to the spa, I need to focus.
795
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:19,160
You're so good at everything you do,
couldn't you summarize it for me?
796
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:20,840
Please. Pretty please.
797
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:22,920
Thanks a million.
798
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,120
You were right, this place is charming.
799
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,920
And the floors aren't carpeted.
800
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,280
Please, come in.
801
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,080
How Do I Try Out a Book?
802
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,520
The perfect title for an essay
on the death of publishing.
803
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,520
I'd publish it.
804
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,760
Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
805
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,280
I'm Malika. Nice to meet you.
806
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:46,520
Maddalena.
807
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,160
Hello, Maddalena.
808
00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:52,160
I run a small publishing house,
and published this.
809
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:54,680
Should I give it to Lara?
810
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:55,880
No, it's for you.
811
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,160
I'd like your opinion.
812
00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,200
Perhaps you'd like
to write something similar?
813
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,800
How do you know I'm a writer?
814
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,840
Your aura.
815
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:07,920
Of bad luck?
816
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,920
No. Your ghostwriter aura.
817
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,600
Everyone in the industry is familiar
with the writers in the top 10.
818
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:19,520
My business card is inside. If you want
to write, you know where to find me.
819
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:20,440
Okay.
820
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,160
Malika.
821
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,200
If I were to write a book,
whose name would be on it?
822
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,120
Yours.
823
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,560
Hope to see you soon.
824
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,600
See you soon.
825
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:32,960
Mine.
826
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,200
Fuck! Mariano.
827
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,040
Six, eight.
828
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,400
Which room is he in?
829
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:49,520
Six, six.
830
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,480
-Mariano Di Vaio. Yes.
-Hey...
831
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,120
I don't usually walk around like this.
I was at the spa.
832
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,200
No problem.
833
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,080
You have no idea how many
pornos start this way.
834
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,200
The key's not working.
835
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:10,920
-The old-fashioned ones worked better.
-Need a hand?
836
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,200
-Only a hand?
-Don't worry about it.
837
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,640
I'll break it down.
838
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,600
What a man.
839
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,360
Is that my book?
840
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,480
Yes. Lara gave it to me.
841
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:23,880
You know Lara?
842
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:25,680
Sort of.
843
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,720
Are you sure you don't need help?
844
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,840
It's all yours.
845
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:38,400
Voilà.
846
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:40,320
I owe you one.
847
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,280
Can I do anything for you?
848
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:44,880
Ask him.
849
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,240
The launch of Lara's book,
850
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,320
-it would be really helpful if you came.
-Is that all?
851
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,960
Is that all?
852
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,440
-Ask him.
-Shut up for a minute.
853
00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,680
Could I have your towel?
854
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,440
Good girl! Lesson number nine.
855
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,840
Boldness is always a good idea.
856
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:16,480
Fuck.
857
00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:18,760
Go ahead. Have a good evening.
858
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,560
-Hello, I'm...
-Your name, please.
859
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,880
I have to see if you're on the list.
860
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:25,440
I work for the publishing company.
861
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,280
Good for you. I still need your name.
862
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:29,800
Maddalena Gentili.
863
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,720
Maddalena Gentili...
864
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,840
With a J or a G?
865
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,400
-With a G.
-G.
866
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:38,280
It's not there.
867
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,800
Try... Try Marilena.
868
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:44,880
No.
869
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,480
Are you checking the Easy Edizioni list?
870
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,080
-It's got to be there.
-Sorry.
871
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:57,240
Look, my colleagues are inside.
Let me through and I'll fix this.
872
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,120
-It'll only take a second.
-No need to get agitated.
873
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,520
I can't let you through.
874
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,720
There are limited seats.
It's an insider event.
875
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,560
I'm the one writing this masterpiece.
876
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:08,880
Sure you are.
877
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,400
Sorry, I'm following directions.
878
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,040
We've been instructed not
to let Lara's fans in.
879
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:17,200
Fan? I'm not a fan.
880
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,960
Do you know how many
have tried this today?
881
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:21,400
Come on now.
882
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,600
If you're not on the list,
you don't exist.
883
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,520
I don't exist if I'm not on the list?
884
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,120
-What's your name?
-Maddalena, lower your voice.
885
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,160
-She's with me.
-I'm with him.
886
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:31,360
Update the list.
887
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,480
I'm so sorry. Make way
for the famous writer!
888
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,520
Give these to the guys writing
for Social and Terza età. Go.
889
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,240
-Group photo!
-Let's go.
890
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:41,640
-Come on.
-All right.
891
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,000
-Squeeze closer.
-All together now.
892
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,280
Di Vaio came, did you see?
893
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,760
Maddy! Come take a photo with us!
894
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,160
No. She can't.
895
00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,520
Why not? She's so talented.
896
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,720
Best to keep her contribution quiet.
897
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,480
You can't tell she wrote
my book from a photo!
898
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,560
She worked with me
and I want her in the picture.
899
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,080
-I said no. She works for me.
-Lower your voices.
900
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,800
These dramatics are stupid.
901
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,560
-Why not?
-Have you seen her?
902
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,280
She's clumsy and awkward.
903
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,440
Look at the clothes she wears.
904
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,920
-She looks like a pear.
-She's right there.
905
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,880
-Come on.
-You shouldn't talk like that.
906
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,760
I give up. I've never been
with a woman like you...
907
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,400
Bet you 100 euro I can fuck that fatass.
908
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:30,480
If you lost some weight and took better
care of yourself, he'd come back to you.
909
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,520
Look at the clothes she wears.
She looks like a pear.
910
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,600
I don't want to be
in your fucking picture anyway.
911
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,680
Donato, can you... Thanks.
912
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:41,880
-Excuse us.
-Maddalena.
913
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,000
Come along.
914
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,600
-Behave, please.
-"Behave"?
915
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,440
Behave? I always behave.
916
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,560
I'm tired of behaving in front of someone
917
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,160
who says my body ruins a book launch.
918
00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:59,760
You're ruining the launch, Marilena.
Enough already.
919
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,960
Maddalena. My name is Maddalena.
920
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,000
I didn't know being a writer
required a perfect body.
921
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:08,920
Is that why you've ignored my ideas
for months, if not years?
922
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:09,880
Of course.
923
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,200
You have to be skinny, beautiful
and famous to be successful.
924
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:16,840
Sorry, Lara.
This goes for ghostwriters too.
925
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,960
Those of us who write books for people
who don't even read them.
926
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:28,160
I'm tired of feeling bad
because the world finds it convenient.
927
00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:33,040
It's convenient for me to spend money on
miraculous herbal tea and slimming belts,
928
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,000
or on fucking books telling me
929
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,680
how to improve my life
and hide my flaws under my clothes.
930
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:43,200
Wouldn't our lives improve if we simply
accepted ourselves the way we are?
931
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,200
Thin, fat, pretty, ugly.
932
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,360
Cool.
933
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,560
Uncool.
934
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,280
Like me.
935
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,480
Snap your photos and write your own books.
I'm done with this.
936
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,800
I want to stop hating myself. Don't you?
937
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,000
Aren't you tired of judging people
the way you judge books?
938
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,320
By the cover.
939
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:05,360
Come on.
940
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,480
Besides, I like my cover a lot.
941
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,520
And many other people like it too.
942
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,600
You're fired.
I never want to see you again.
943
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,880
-Erika, please.
-Me?!
944
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:20,920
Well said.
945
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,480
-Awesome.
-Well done.
946
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:24,240
Someone finally said it.
947
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,800
Take my hand
948
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,480
Lord
949
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,640
Guide me through the world as you see fit
950
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:38,040
This is Father Massimo's seat.
Sit over there.
951
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:43,400
The road is long and hard
952
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:48,040
But I hold no fear with you in my heart
953
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,120
I couldn't wait to travel
954
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,560
Don't use your phone on a pilgrimage.
Hand it over.
955
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:56,960
-Mom.
-Hand it over.
956
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,560
-Let me turn it off.
-It's an addiction.
957
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,040
I'll turn it off.
958
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,040
...A woman
959
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:09,080
Take my hand, Lord
960
00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:14,600
Guide me through the world as you see fit
961
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,520
Are you all right, Madda?
962
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,120
Just catching my breath.
963
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,000
You can't stop.
We have to reach the top together.
964
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,040
Otherwise, Our Lady of Childbirth
won't bless your sister.
965
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,640
-How will she get through labor?
-With an epidural.
966
00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:34,720
I'm taking a break. Give me a minute.
967
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,200
Madda, all you do is take breaks.
968
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,440
You waste time.
969
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:43,240
Life should be taken head on.
Got it? Now grit your teeth and let's go.
970
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:46,280
You have to fight.
You need to learn to fight.
971
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,560
You think you taught me to fight?
972
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:49,920
Yeah, right.
973
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,360
All my life, you've been sabotaging
my self-esteem.
974
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,120
"Madda, do this," "Don't do that,"
"Eat pineapple, it helps weight loss."
975
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,160
So don't complain that I've given up,
976
00:56:59,240 --> 00:57:02,000
or about the fact I'm single, ugly,
sad and unemployed!
977
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,800
You're unemployed?
978
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:06,640
Yes, and it's your fault.
979
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:21,040
See you up there?
980
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,760
Don't even think about ditching me.
Come with me.
981
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:29,400
Beautiful!
982
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,400
That was harder than a gang bang.
983
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:45,080
Sister-in-law, have I ever introduced you
to my childhood friend, Leonardo?
984
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:46,920
-No.
-No.
985
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,200
Then let's get it done now!
986
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,160
My love, zip up your jacket,
you'll catch a cold!
987
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:53,640
Stop fussing.
988
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,160
You came.
989
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:59,360
I couldn't miss this.
I'll have enough material for three shows.
990
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,000
-Shall we join together in prayer?
-Let's join together.
991
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,600
Let's go say a Rosary.
992
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:08,000
-Want to join them?
-Do we have to?
993
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:10,480
Not at all. Come with me.
994
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,080
Where to? Where are we going?
995
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,600
It's a surprise.
996
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,080
Keep your eyes closed. We're nearly there.
997
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,200
Okay.
998
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,400
Careful, there's some mud here.
999
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,320
-Which way?
-Follow me. Don't worry.
1000
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,360
-Trust me. Mind the poop.
-No!
1001
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:28,400
You stepped in it.
1002
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,920
-You're joking.
-I was.
1003
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,520
Careful now.
1004
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,480
-Okay.
-It's a bit steep.
1005
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:37,400
-Okay.
-Easy does it.
1006
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,640
-Now...
-Help!
1007
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,760
-Help!
-Come along.
1008
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,720
-Am I going to die?
-Why would you?
1009
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,720
-I don't know.
-I prefer you alive.
1010
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,440
-How strange...
-Up you come.
1011
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,160
-What's this?
-Now...
1012
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:50,600
Open your arms.
1013
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,200
-You want to do the Titanic pose?
-Much better than that.
1014
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,400
Close your arms and open your eyes.
1015
00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:01,200
No way!
1016
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,400
Father Pius!
1017
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:05,800
I don't believe this!
1018
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,280
You're completely crazy!
1019
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,240
You said he was your type!
1020
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:11,360
He is.
1021
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:13,560
How wonderful!
1022
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,680
I'm glad I came here.
1023
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,120
Surrounded by sheep, in the company
of a black sheep.
1024
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,920
I'm a black sheep too.
1025
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:33,720
Look there.
1026
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,240
Two black sheep making their own flock.
1027
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:46,880
Anyways...
1028
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,280
I really will write a piece
about the pilgrimage.
1029
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:53,720
Yeah. Are you coming to the audition?
1030
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,320
It's an open event.
1031
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,960
The writers want feedback.
I need some loud laughter.
1032
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:04,240
-I'll roll you a blunt before the show.
-There's no need.
1033
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,480
Of course I'll be there.
1034
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:10,720
You'll do great. Everyone will love it.
1035
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,720
You'll get to be on TV.
1036
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,440
And you'll make your dad proud.
1037
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,880
Let's hope so.
1038
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,080
Don't be reckless.
1039
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,920
-See you around?
-Don't be reckless.
1040
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:33,560
-Don't commit impure acts.
-Bye.
1041
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,080
Again, don't be reckless.
1042
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:39,800
Don't be reckless.
1043
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:41,960
Where's Mom?
1044
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:45,600
In the car. Did you purposely
miss the bus to avoid her?
1045
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:47,680
That would be impossible.
1046
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:52,040
This is from her. Try and make up,
or I'll be dragged into it.
1047
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:54,560
-Is that Leonardo?
-Yes.
1048
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:56,640
Be careful.
1049
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,360
One day without your phone
and the world goes mad?
1050
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,520
I don't know what's going on.
1051
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,760
But something must have happened.
1052
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,600
I'm getting lots of new followers.
1053
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:13,080
No way!
1054
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,960
Someone filmed my rant at the fair!
1055
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:17,600
Shit!
1056
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,640
I think you've gone...
1057
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:23,480
-viral!
-Viral!
1058
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,160
Cool.
1059
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,640
Just don't start drinking herbal tea.
1060
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,320
No...
1061
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:30,920
Excuse me.
1062
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:36,760
DONATO:
COME TO THE OFFICE TOMORROW
1063
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:40,840
-Shall we go?
-Yeah.
1064
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:41,760
Okay.
1065
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,560
Are you sure you want to do this, Lara?
1066
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,480
-I'm worried you'll lose the contract.
-No, the truth is trendy right now.
1067
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:50,960
Look at Maddalena.
1068
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,600
-Hey.
-Hi.
1069
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:55,200
-Hello, Madda.
-Hello.
1070
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,400
I'm sorry we aren't
working together anymore.
1071
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,600
-I feel kind of guilty...
-Don't.
1072
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:05,080
We just met my new gho... gha...
The new you.
1073
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,520
She's nice, but you were cooler.
1074
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,800
Thanks. Don't worry.
1075
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:13,920
I figured they'd assign you
a new ghostwriter.
1076
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:17,720
I screwed up, so...
1077
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,200
At least you're an influencer now.
Why don't you come to my party?
1078
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,000
It's actually a private party
1079
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:26,360
for the launch of the beauty line
Lara is the face of.
1080
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:27,840
Di Vaio will be there too.
1081
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,400
He asked for your number.
1082
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,800
-I gave it to him. He's the Di Vaio.
-That's good.
1083
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:34,680
-Promise to think about it?
-Yeah.
1084
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,120
You see these cadeaux, Maddalena?
1085
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,920
Brands sent them after you went viral.
1086
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:45,680
They're for you. Tag the brands.
1087
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:47,960
Everyone knows who you are now.
1088
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,720
We've always known.
And we always had faith in you.
1089
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:54,480
How many projects did we trust her with?
1090
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,320
How many?
1091
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,080
Shall we bury the hatchet?
1092
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,000
I'm not fired anymore?
1093
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:07,560
You are. Only because we want to offer you
an exclusive contract to write a book.
1094
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:09,760
We want you to write a book.
1095
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:12,960
A book of your very own.
1096
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,000
Don't trust them.
1097
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:18,720
You really must write something
about this lovely business
1098
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,960
of accepting yourself as you are.
1099
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,440
People love it.
1100
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,120
Body positivity is all the rage.
1101
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:30,360
Your success on social media proves
that this is your moment.
1102
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:32,520
You must ride the wave.
1103
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,800
This is your big chance.
1104
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,760
We're your big chance.
1105
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,160
Or are you theirs?
1106
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,040
-Ste, guess what... Hello.
-Hello.
1107
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,600
They've asked me to write
a book of my own!
1108
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:52,600
Great!
1109
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:54,960
Where are you going?
1110
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,920
To stay at Giacomo's. He's my boyfriend.
1111
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,560
-I'll wait in the car.
-Yeah.
1112
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,800
You got together with Legolas?
1113
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,600
Cool. Since when?
1114
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,560
A while now.
1115
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,760
I didn't know.
1116
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,680
Because you only ever talk about your life
and never ask about mine.
1117
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,040
Okay, sorry.
1118
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:19,800
When will you be back?
1119
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,520
Never.
1120
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:27,800
I'll stop by later this week
to pick up the rest of my stuff.
1121
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:31,240
-I've given the landlord notice.
-What?
1122
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:35,280
I'll help you rent out the room again.
1123
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:40,160
There's no need.
I can afford this place now.
1124
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:44,160
Bye.
1125
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,720
Be-wild herbal tea.
1126
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:04,520
I'm delighted to be collaborating
with Nuova Vita Herbal Tea.
1127
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,960
This herbal tea is amazing,
slimming and delicious.
1128
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:12,120
It's plastic-free. The bottle is made
of glass and bamboo.
1129
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:13,880
Swipe up to find out more!
1130
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,920
Could you like our Page
when you have time?
1131
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,160
Welcome. Allow me.
1132
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:41,280
My phone is dead.
1133
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:45,360
It only takes a minute. Easy Edizioni,
you can't go wrong.
1134
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:46,600
I'll take a look later.
1135
01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,920
-We have thousands of followers.
-Hello!
1136
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,400
You can give us a like,
1137
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:53,880
-and unlike us if we're not for you.
-Excuse me.
1138
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,680
Why don't you answer my messages?
1139
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,080
Because...
1140
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:01,560
Wait here.
1141
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:03,600
-I'll get you a drink.
-Okay.
1142
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:10,960
I just want to repay you
with the classic invitation to dinner?
1143
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:13,440
-I eat a lot.
-So do I.
1144
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,600
What is with the fake laughter?
1145
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,920
Right now, I'm craving cherries.
1146
01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:23,800
You aren't interested in this guy at all.
1147
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:33,040
Are you trying to make Donato jealous?
1148
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,400
You're pathetic.
1149
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,760
We're ready for the toast, guys.
Follow me.
1150
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:41,440
Text me. I'll answer this time.
1151
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:46,920
-Can I take a selfie with you?
-Sure.
1152
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,240
-Thank you so much!
-No problem.
1153
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,360
LEONARDO: BLACK SHEEP,
AUDITION IN AN HOUR. COUNTING ON YOU!
1154
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:58,600
-Can I take a selfie with you?
-Sure.
1155
01:06:58,680 --> 01:06:59,520
Thanks.
1156
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:04,400
-Thank you!
-Speech!
1157
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,080
-Thanks.
-Speech!
1158
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:09,640
Speech!
1159
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:11,040
Hello, everyone.
1160
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,640
I'm not very good at speeches.
1161
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,560
I'm much better at making videos.
1162
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,840
But I'd like to take advantage
of the launch
1163
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,200
of this beauty line that was made
so thoughtfully,
1164
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,320
to speak to you from my heart.
1165
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,040
I've always shared everything
with my fans.
1166
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:27,080
Except this.
1167
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:31,400
Wow. Okay.
1168
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:36,600
Free at last.
1169
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:41,320
My love.
1170
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:42,880
Wait, that's enough.
1171
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:46,320
We work together, Erika.
I'm not sure we should do this.
1172
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:47,240
No?
1173
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:48,840
You're fired.
1174
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:53,920
Let's raise a toast!
1175
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,800
Now that's a genuine relationship.
1176
01:08:02,680 --> 01:08:06,400
Can I buy you a drink or do you only
accept them from VIPs?
1177
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,120
You'll have to catch me first.
1178
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,560
You know I love a good challenge.
1179
01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:18,600
I know he's married!
1180
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:23,439
Why not find yourself a single guy?
1181
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,319
People are so greedy.
1182
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,240
Maddalena, not him.
1183
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:35,560
Let's get out of here.
1184
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:37,120
Let's go to my place.
1185
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,240
What about your wife?
1186
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:41,399
She left.
1187
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:52,040
Everything okay in there?
1188
01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:53,600
Yes, I'm fine.
1189
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:13,640
I can't believe we're doing this again.
1190
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:14,760
God.
1191
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:16,000
You taught me all this.
1192
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,560
To be sexy and take who I want.
To be the subject, not an object.
1193
01:09:19,640 --> 01:09:22,640
I didn't teach you to self-sabotage!
1194
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:23,880
Get out there.
1195
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:25,080
Out!
1196
01:09:28,359 --> 01:09:30,520
-Get in.
-What is this?
1197
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,240
-Get inside!
-Not again!
1198
01:09:33,319 --> 01:09:34,439
Fine.
1199
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:39,760
Look what your self-esteem has become.
1200
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:41,880
-It looks beautiful.
-It's a cage.
1201
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:44,600
No place is beautiful
when there's no way out.
1202
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:48,000
Your self-esteem depends
on other people's opinions.
1203
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:49,920
I'm a role model for many people.
1204
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:51,960
Except for yourself, Maddalena.
1205
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:55,800
What's bothering you so much?
1206
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:58,920
The fact that you haven't grasped
the most important lesson of all!
1207
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:03,280
You don't need other people's approval,
you only need your own.
1208
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:10,160
You're afraid.
1209
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:12,720
Of what?
1210
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:13,920
Of me being happy.
1211
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:15,440
That's right.
1212
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:18,640
If I'm happy, I won't need you anymore.
1213
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,040
And you'll vanish.
1214
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,560
LEONARDO: WHERE ARE YOU?
1215
01:10:59,000 --> 01:10:59,920
Finally.
1216
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:02,360
What?
1217
01:11:02,440 --> 01:11:04,000
You seem different.
1218
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:05,200
You're...
1219
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:08,240
more sure of yourself.
1220
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,240
Free of your inhibitions.
1221
01:11:13,360 --> 01:11:15,040
Now you know what you want.
1222
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,320
You're right, I do.
1223
01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,320
Wait here.
1224
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:24,640
I want to celebrate.
1225
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:38,480
I want to raise a glass to you.
You've finally realized your worth.
1226
01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:45,400
-Didn't you say your wife left?
-Yes.
1227
01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:47,440
For a weekend with her girlfriends.
1228
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:56,120
What are you doing?
1229
01:11:56,840 --> 01:12:01,000
Once you realize you deserve better,
you'll wonder how you settled for so long.
1230
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:03,080
Aren't you tired of living like this?
1231
01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:05,000
I honestly feel sorry for you, Donato.
1232
01:12:05,440 --> 01:12:09,040
Because, deep down,
you're better than all of this.
1233
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:11,840
But...
1234
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,640
-You did well.
-The others were worse.
1235
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,120
-Thanks.
-No problem.
1236
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,920
-Thank you. Bye.
-We're leaving.
1237
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,240
-Hi.
-See you!
1238
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,160
How did it go? Did you kill it?
1239
01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:32,720
No. It hasn't been a great night.
1240
01:12:33,440 --> 01:12:35,600
-Why not?
-It happens.
1241
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:38,080
The audience was off.
1242
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:41,800
Sometimes a joke that has always
worked fails to land.
1243
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,920
I'm sorry I didn't get here on time.
1244
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:51,120
I was silly to text you
while you were at the party.
1245
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:53,360
I saw your Stories.
1246
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:56,720
I still hoped you'd show up.
1247
01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,400
Because two black sheep
can make their own flock.
1248
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:06,680
You're not a black sheep anymore though,
are you?
1249
01:13:11,720 --> 01:13:15,000
Shall we grab a beer?
1250
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,560
We could take a walk, just the two of us.
1251
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:22,840
It's late, Maddalena.
1252
01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:28,600
PLEASE HIM!!!
ENTER
1253
01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:30,160
VALENTINA NAPPI'S SECRETS
1254
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:07,040
Valentina, where are you?
1255
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,440
MOM: MARIA IS IN LABOR!
1256
01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:36,040
Madda.
1257
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:44,640
WELCOME ALDO
1258
01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:45,960
She named him after Dad!
1259
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:48,880
It was a surprise for me too.
1260
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,320
-Sister-in-law!
-Congratulations.
1261
01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:53,800
Thanks.
1262
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:55,600
Maria and little Aldo are resting.
1263
01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:57,720
I'm going to Mom's to pick up Enrico.
1264
01:15:57,800 --> 01:16:00,200
I'll try and squeeze
in a shower, too. Later!
1265
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:01,520
-Bye.
-Bye.
1266
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:08,200
-You should get some rest too.
-I wouldn't be able to sleep.
1267
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,040
-Too anxious?
-Too happy.
1268
01:16:11,960 --> 01:16:14,000
That's what a mother's life is like.
1269
01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:17,960
Sometimes it's joy, sometimes it's sorrow.
1270
01:16:22,040 --> 01:16:23,720
I'm sorry, Mom.
1271
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,720
-I was a bitch.
-Watch your language, Madda!
1272
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:29,920
-I can call myself a bitch!
-You're not though.
1273
01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:32,840
Yet I'm never good enough for you.
1274
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:36,000
What's not good enough
is seeing you unhappy.
1275
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:38,720
It's a sin,
how little you believe in yourself.
1276
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:41,480
So every now and then,
I try to give you advice.
1277
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,440
-Every now and then?
-Yes, every now...
1278
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,120
Every...
1279
01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:51,080
Every so often.
1280
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,240
Do you ever think
that your idea of happiness
1281
01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:57,840
may be different from mine?
1282
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:02,800
It's the only one I know.
1283
01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:06,480
All my life, I've been a mother...
1284
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:09,400
It wasn't easy raising you all by myself.
1285
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:14,360
I was terrified that the world
would not be kind to you.
1286
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:16,240
You're too sensitive, Madda.
1287
01:17:22,080 --> 01:17:24,480
-You did great.
-Well...
1288
01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:28,240
I'll never be like you and Maria,
1289
01:17:29,160 --> 01:17:31,440
but now I know that
being myself is fine too.
1290
01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:38,320
I'm proud of you,
and everything that you're doing.
1291
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,000
I'm sorry if I never told you that.
1292
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,920
I'm not brave. But you... you're perfect.
1293
01:17:45,720 --> 01:17:47,640
You're perfect the way you are, Madda.
1294
01:17:52,560 --> 01:17:54,600
Of course I am. I'm your daughter.
1295
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:57,600
Indeed.
1296
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:05,520
Want a sandwich?
1297
01:18:06,280 --> 01:18:07,120
All right.
1298
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:09,800
A midnight sandwich.
1299
01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:12,160
Look.
1300
01:18:12,240 --> 01:18:15,560
-Father Massimo, at this hour!
-Grazia.
1301
01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:17,880
-For our grandson, this and more.
-Yes...
1302
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:19,960
-Coffee?
-Yeah.
1303
01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:22,600
We'll go find the vending machine.
1304
01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:29,840
Vale, I think you were right
about my mom and the vicar.
1305
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:37,560
What's this delicious smell of ham?
1306
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:45,240
So good.
1307
01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:47,960
I've dreamed of nothing else
for nine months.
1308
01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:50,680
Where did you get it, at this hour?
1309
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:52,680
The 24/7 supermarket.
1310
01:18:52,760 --> 01:18:53,960
You can't imagine.
1311
01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,400
It was packed with kids with the munchies.
1312
01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:57,400
Lucky them.
1313
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,960
You get the munchies after smoking weed.
1314
01:19:02,840 --> 01:19:04,960
I know, that's why I said "lucky them"!
1315
01:19:05,040 --> 01:19:06,320
Are you crazy?
1316
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,840
You think I've never smoked a joint?
1317
01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:11,240
You? No way...
1318
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,280
-When I was young.
-You are young.
1319
01:19:15,360 --> 01:19:17,480
You're no longer young
when you have a kid.
1320
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,000
Never mind two kids.
1321
01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:21,320
He's so cute.
1322
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:25,080
Look how cute he is, sleeping away.
1323
01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:27,840
He's got an old man's name. Aldo.
1324
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:30,200
But it was Dad's name, so...
1325
01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:31,400
Mommy's here.
1326
01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:34,280
You'll be a super-mom to him too.
1327
01:19:36,520 --> 01:19:37,720
I don't know.
1328
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:41,960
Have you ever thought about the fact
that the Virgin Mary only had one kid?
1329
01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:44,360
It must mean something.
1330
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:45,600
Of course.
1331
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:15,760
He likes dolls.
1332
01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:19,000
Enrico, give me the doll.
1333
01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:22,440
-Cut it out, Mom.
-You should play with... Give me the doll!
1334
01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,400
Who cares what he plays with.
1335
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,040
Come! Let's go to your aunt!
1336
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:27,200
Hi!
1337
01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:28,720
Here he is!
1338
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,480
No, no, no.
1339
01:21:31,560 --> 01:21:34,280
-Isn't he cute?
-It's kind of hot in here.
1340
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,840
Go, please.
1341
01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:37,560
-Yeah.
-Keep an eye on him.
1342
01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:40,040
-Be careful!
-I will be. Go!
1343
01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:42,000
Behave, darling, okay?
1344
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:44,840
You'll regret this.
1345
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:46,520
I don't think so.
1346
01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:51,520
-Tommaso!
-Yes, ma'am.
1347
01:22:13,520 --> 01:22:15,800
...they are not influencers.
1348
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:18,360
If they were, they'd promote herbal tea.
1349
01:22:18,440 --> 01:22:21,480
That is, they'd sell their soul
to the devil.
1350
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,880
No. They're lawyers.
1351
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,040
They're professionals, freelancers!
1352
01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:44,680
DI VAIO: I'M INVITING YOU TO DINNER,
LET'S SEE IF YOU'LL ANSWER THIS TIME...
1353
01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:49,560
OF COURSE, BUT WILL YOU FORGIVE ME
IF I'M NOT COMING?
1354
01:22:49,640 --> 01:22:53,960
MY HEAD IS... ELSEWHERE.
1355
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:10,000
MADDALENA GENTILI
MY SELF-ESTEEM IS AN EMPTY ROOM
1356
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:12,840
TO THE BLACK SHEEP
1357
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:17,440
Hello.
1358
01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:18,640
-Hello.
-Hello.
1359
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:22,840
Some of you know me personally,
and others because of that viral video.
1360
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:25,520
It's strange being a meme.
1361
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:28,880
Especially after spending my life
running away from my appearance.
1362
01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:31,840
Suddenly I'm everywhere,
even on strangers' phones in the subway.
1363
01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:35,200
My mother even shared the video
in our parish's group chat.
1364
01:23:35,280 --> 01:23:36,600
I'm not joking.
1365
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:39,960
A year ago, I would have
introduced myself like this:
1366
01:23:40,040 --> 01:23:44,800
"My name is Maddalena, I'm 30 years old,
and I don't like anything about myself."
1367
01:23:45,280 --> 01:23:46,280
But not today.
1368
01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:49,920
Because at some point, things change.
1369
01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:52,680
Or perhaps, we change.
1370
01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:55,680
And our self-esteem begins to blossom.
1371
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:06,360
In this book, you'll meet
the many people who helped me
1372
01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:09,080
fill up the bare room
that was my self-esteem.
1373
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:18,040
Among them
is the funniest guy I've ever met.
1374
01:24:18,120 --> 01:24:19,840
He laughs at my jokes,
1375
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:22,920
smokes tons of weed
and will never hold down a serious job.
1376
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:24,480
He helped me a lot.
1377
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:27,440
Helped me understand that I want a guy
who can really see me,
1378
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,600
even though I've been hiding
my whole life.
1379
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:34,160
A guy who'll love me when I hate myself,
even when I stay in my pajamas
1380
01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:36,520
three days straight watching porn.
1381
01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,920
Sorry, Mom.
1382
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,320
A guy who believes in me
more than I believe in myself.
1383
01:24:40,400 --> 01:24:42,200
Who pushes me to do things
1384
01:24:42,280 --> 01:24:45,640
I would never have the guts to do
like write this book
1385
01:24:45,720 --> 01:24:47,160
and get up on this stage.
1386
01:24:47,240 --> 01:24:51,920
And since we're on the subject,
will you have a beer with me later?
1387
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,320
Because I like you. A lot.
1388
01:24:54,400 --> 01:24:55,720
More than Father Pius.
1389
01:24:57,280 --> 01:24:59,160
And because you're right.
1390
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,480
Two black sheep make their own flock.
1391
01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:09,760
Thank you.
1392
01:25:11,960 --> 01:25:12,800
Hey.
1393
01:25:15,200 --> 01:25:16,080
Hey!
1394
01:25:40,240 --> 01:25:42,720
-I can't do it.
-Go to the bathroom. Go!
1395
01:25:57,840 --> 01:25:59,600
Are they...
1396
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,000
Remember us?
1397
01:26:05,200 --> 01:26:06,960
-Do you want...
-Are you stupid?
1398
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,200
We don't need a third.
1399
01:26:29,720 --> 01:26:30,880
You messed up my hair.
1400
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:35,920
No...
1401
01:26:37,160 --> 01:26:39,920
-What's wrong?
-Nothing, it's amazing, but...
1402
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:41,400
You're crying.
1403
01:26:41,480 --> 01:26:44,240
Yes. No, but...
1404
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:48,440
It's amazing. I don't know, this has never
happened to me before...
1405
01:26:48,520 --> 01:26:50,800
-You cry when you orgasm.
-Maybe.
1406
01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:53,000
I laugh.
1407
01:26:54,040 --> 01:26:55,000
Yeah!
1408
01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:00,440
I'm thirsty.
1409
01:27:00,920 --> 01:27:02,520
I'm really thirsty.
1410
01:27:09,680 --> 01:27:12,040
Madda. Lesson number 10.
1411
01:27:12,120 --> 01:27:16,520
When you're in love,
don't forget about the sex.
1412
01:27:16,600 --> 01:27:17,680
Okay.
1413
01:27:18,520 --> 01:27:19,600
You look beautiful.
1414
01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:23,520
-How about another round?
-That would be three.
1415
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:25,800
Four, actually.
1416
01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:31,680
Well, one more is good.
1417
01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:12,160
STILL
FABULOUS
1418
01:28:18,680 --> 01:28:19,520
Thank you.
1419
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:22,440
-I love your movies. Can I take a selfie?
-Of course.
1420
01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:26,000
-Thanks. Bye.
-No problem. Bye!
1421
01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:27,920
Hello.
1422
01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:29,120
Vale!
1423
01:28:29,200 --> 01:28:32,040
-Hi!
-Get in line like everyone else, please.
1424
01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:35,480
No, I know her! Vale, it's me, Maddalena!
1425
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:38,920
You've stopped showing up
because you don't think I need you.
1426
01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:40,720
Don't be silly. I miss you, Vale!
1427
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:42,120
-Let me go!
-Who's this nutjob?
1428
01:28:42,200 --> 01:28:43,440
Please do something.
1429
01:28:43,520 --> 01:28:46,040
Vale, we came to this store together!
1430
01:28:46,120 --> 01:28:47,360
Don't you remember?
1431
01:28:47,440 --> 01:28:50,080
-Vale, please!
-I don't know her.
1432
01:28:51,640 --> 01:28:53,720
I haven't fucked her, either.
1433
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:55,440
At least, I don't think I have.
96438
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