All language subtitles for the michael j fox show s01e16 720p-skgtv

Okay,
Leigh's on her way up.

Let's go over the distraction
plan for the surprise party.

Does everyone know
what they're saying?

I'm gonna remind you
that we have matinee tickets

to Matilda, on Saturday.
Check.

And Graham, you say you have a soccer game
on Saturday and you need me to be there.

I don't wanna play soccer.

You don't actually
have to play anything.

It's just an excuse
so that Aunt Leigh

can take Dad's ticket and then
he can set up for the party.

Oh...

I don't wanna play soccer.

We'll say baseball.

Well, if he gets to switch sports
then I wanna switch sports.

You're not playing a sport!
But my character is.

You don't have a character.
You're playing yourself.

I'm playing a version of myself,
and he has a rich backstory.

You two don't have to be here.

No, I want to see
this crash and burn.

Every time you try to surprise
Aunt Leigh, she figures it out.

This year
will be totally different.

What's totally different?

Texting. Those emoticons
are a real game changer.

Hey, Mike, don't forget,
we have tickets

for the matinee
of Matilda, on Saturday.

And I recently took up
skateboarding, so...

I have to go play soccer.

- Oh, I mean baseball.
- No, Graham.

Honey, I just remembered,

Graham has some sort of
sporting event on Saturday,

and he needs me to take him.

Oh, well, what am I supposed
to do with this extra ticket?

Hey, Leigh, would you...

I'd love to go. It's the
perfect birthday gift.

And by the way, don't invite
Carol to my surprise party.

Called it! Damn it, Leigh. You
always ruin these things.

Don't get mad at me
'cause you suck at surprises.

The polite thing to do would
be to pretend you don't know,

and act surprised.
That's what I would do.

Except you would
never be in that position

because the surprise parties
I throw for you always work.

Honestly, I don't even know
why you try anymore.

Maybe I won't try. Maybe that's it.
I'll stop trying.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's what I just said!
Wait, what does that mean?

It means no more parties.
That's it, I'm done. I'm over.

- I'm through.
- Wow, so Mike,

just because I didn't jump for
joy over your obvious surprise,

you're canceling my birthday?

Yeah, there's a surprise
you didn't see coming.

Oh, you mean
you acting like a baby?

Don't talk to me about babies.

I changed your diaper
when you were a baby,

and it wasn't fun and you
never thanked me once.

- Because I couldn't talk.
- I couldn't talk.

I was gagging 'cause those
loads were so copious.

Ripped By mstoll

Yeah, sorry, I'm gonna have
to cancel all three platters.

Nah, my sister's the worst.

You know the type.

Well, now,
that's a little sexist.

Okay, I can't
be a part of this now.

Boy, that caterer got into a
Hillary Clinton rant in a hurry.

So that's it, you're really
calling off the party?

Well, what's the point? She
already ruined the surprise.

She just has to beat me at this.

You're right, she always
beats you at this.

You should just give up.

Whose side are you on?

The side who gets to
go to a party.

I got needs, Mike.
Big time needs.

Why can't we just throw her

a regular party?

No, not after I made
such a big stink.

I can't throw her a party now.

Which is why
she'd never see it coming.

The party is back on.
Huh?

Don't you see, this is the
perfect opportunity for me.

After six failed surprises...
I thought it was seven.

It's actually eight. It's a chance
to beat her at her own game.

You might wanna leave now. I'm
calling back that sexist caterer

and I may say some things
you do not wanna hear.

The suffragettes
endured jailings,

beatings, and hunger strikes...

Scott has been our history sub
for the past three weeks.

He's smart and passionate
and kind,

and he lets us call him Scott.

I'm so glad that Miss Kirkland
got shingles.

Just to earn a right

that many of us,
we take for granted.

No, the bell
doesn't dismiss you.

I... I... Okay.

It's gonna be chapter nine,
and we're gonna go...

The... The bell
doesn't dismiss you.

I dismiss you?

The... Guys?

You're never
gonna get 'em that way.

You have to be a little more assertive.
Watch this.

Whassup?
Whoa!

What... What a wuss.

Full disclosure, I flinched too.

Mmm.
So...

Hey, Scott. I was just
waiting in the classroom...

'Cause, like...

The bell doesn't dismiss us.
You do.

Uh, you're dismissed.
Cool.

Cool beans.

Coolest beans in the land.

Eve, are you having a stroke?

That's...

No, it's totally cool. You
don't have to say hi to me.

I'm just your mom, who gave
birth to you, the hard way.

Mike, come on.

I've been in bed waiting
for you for half an hour.

I was all psyched to cuddle
and watch murder shows.

Yeah, not until I figure out
a way to get Leigh

out of her apartment on
Saturday night. Mmm.

What if I say Graham's in the hospital.
That's nuts.

That's nuts. But what if he
actually was in the hospital?

Can you guys
keep it down?

I'm trying to do my homework.

Ooh!
Is it history homework?

Ooh, is it Math homework?

What are...
What are we doing?

Eve's got a little crush
on her history teacher.

Isn't that...
That lady with the shingles?

No, no, it's her substitute.

Scott.

First of all,
I don't have a crush.

And second of all, do you think
it's weird if I call him at home?

Do you hear yourself, right now?

It's just to ask him to advise
me on an independent study.

Oh, okay, in what?

Historical... Events...

From history.

Mmm-hmm, yeah.

Uh, don't think so.

She's got it bad.

Yeah, I should probably
give Scott a heads-up.

I don't want him to accidentally
hurt Eve's feelings.

You know, plus, I have a little
experience in this area.

Remember when I had to
let Sam Moyer down easy?

Sam Moyer?

The all state wrestler,
Sam Moyer?

You wish.

Next thing you'll tell me about
the time that Ryan Gosling

totally looked at you
in the street.

We made significant eye contact!

Hey, Scott.

Do you have a second?
Uh, hey, what's up?

I hope that this doesn't
make things awkward,

but I just thought
that you should know,

I think someone may have
a little crush on you.

Oh, is that right?

Um, well...

You can tell someone, that
I might have a crush back.

Scott, that's illegal.

It's not illegal.
I mean, it's frowned upon.

What are you talking about?

Us... This.

The reason you came in here.

Wait. Us?

Believe me, that's not the
reason that I came in here.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have been
the object of my share of crushes,

but I'm married, guy.

Look, a lot of people
are married, Annie.

Okay, hey, I get it.

You put it out there and now
it's real and you're scared.

But don't you think
I'm scared too?

It doesn't seem
like you are, really. No.

Okay, that's good. That's okay, bye.
Gotta, yep, bye.

God, who uses these anymore?

I appreciate the offer, but I'll
figure out a way to keep Leigh busy.

Come on, Dad. I'm a
master of distraction.

I wave my right hand so you're unaware
I'm robbing you with my left.

You're rubbing me
with your left.

It's supposed
to be your wallet.

Hey.

Don't worry, I got this.
Hey, Aunt Leigh.

No, Ian.

What say you and me
go up to Smuggler's lake

and do some fishing
this Saturday?

What?

Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah.

Smuggler's lake? That's
not even a real place.

What kind of a smuggler
uses a lake?

Got it. Real lake.

No, no lake. No lake.
No nothing.

Mike, can I talk to you
for a second? Sure.

Look, I've been thinking
about our fight

and, you know, what I
really want for my birthday

is for us to go
to couples' therapy.

Couples' therapy? Couples'
therapy is for couples.

It says so right in the title.
Fine.

I knew you'd mock this
as per usual.

I just thought we could sit down
on Saturday and hash things out.

Saturday?

This Saturday?

You know what?
Let's do it.

Let the healing begin.

Really?
Sure.

Thank you so much.

The perfect distraction
landed right in my lap...

Just like Ian's hand.

You're going to couples'
counseling with your sister?

That's weird.
That's like...

Donny and Marie level weird.

It's just a distraction
for the surprise party.

I'm gonna get her this year.

Yeah, keep dreaming, buddy.

But it's cool that
you brought it up

to my face
after not inviting me.

I was gonna invite ya, I just
didn't know if it was awkward

between you two.
Things aren't awkward.

What Leigh and I had
was just physical.

There were no emotions involved.

Just raw, sweaty,
surprisingly athletic...

La la la la la la la la!

Now, you see,
it's because of this,

that you don't invite me
to your parties anymore.

You're invited, just don't
say anything gross.

Now, you don't want me there.
Look, it was a huge oversight.

It would mean the world to me if
you were there. I'm begging you.

I'll see if I can make it.

Although it would be like returning
to the scene of the crime.

Man, we put that
couch through its paces.

What part of "la la la"
do you not understand?

Hard to believe
this is my last day,

but Miss Kirkland has fully
served her court appointed...

Uh, shingles. And I just
wanna say, thank you.

Uh, the last three...

No, no, no, the bell doesn't
dismiss you! I dismiss you.

You know what?
Screw it.

Three weeks already, huh?

Crazy ride.

Are you waiting to be
dismissed or... No.

No.
No, I'm just, uh...

Chillaxin'.

Remember when people
used to say that dumb thing?

Anyhoo, um, what's going on
with those flyers?

Uh, my band's
got a gig tomorrow.

You know what,
you should check it out.

Take those flyers and, uh, feel
free to give 'em to your friends

or to...

People that live
in your house or whatever.

Cool.

See if I can make it.

He wants me
to check out his band!

He wants me
to check out his band!

Mike. Mike.
Doctor's ready.

Yeah, one second, I'll be right there.
I'm so excited.

Is everything okay there?

Totally.
It's just I'm looking around

and I'm wondering, are we really
bringing our A game here?

I mean, I don't know.

Maybe we should have some, like,
balloons in the hallway or something?

Ian, do you know
how a surprise party works?

Relax, I'm just saying
I could soup it up a little.

No, no, no souping!

Just stick to the plan.
Everything's gotta be perfect.

Dad, when a bride
hires a wedding planner

it's because
she's too stressed out

to handle all
the details herself.

You are the bride now.

Just be beautiful.

Ian, damn it,
if you scre... Ian?

I should have gone with Graham.

Hey, I'm gonna cut out early
from Aunt Leigh's party tonight.

My friend's band is playing.

And this friend wouldn't
happen to be Scott, would it?

How did you know that?

Guess I just know my daughter...

...daughter's
Facebook password.

The kids all use the name
of our dead cat.

Sentimental fools.

Eve, he's your teacher.

Ex teacher, as of yesterday.

You so don't understand
our connection.

Eve, was headed
into a bad situation

and I didn't want
her feelings to be hurt,

so I had to handle things
delicately.

Screw your connection. You're not going.
That's it.

Fine, I'll be
in my room, warden.

Well, that's about
what I expected.

You're gonna be
a password too, some day.

Yeah, you are.
Yes, you are.

It's Aunt Leigh. Quiet.

Quiet!

It's just Harris.

I'll remember that
on your birthday, Graham.

Hey, Harris, just park that bottle
over there by the human robot.

Human robot?

Hey.

Now dad has one shot to throw
a great surprise party,

and what does
every great party have?

Women. Well, that too, but...
A theme.

And you went with...
Boardwalk!

Hmm.
Hey, guys.

This party
is really coming together.

It really isn't. I know.
I was being polite.

Where's Eve? I don't know,
I haven't seen her.

She told me 20 minutes ago that she was
on her way down here to help set up.

She went to that concert,
didn't she?

If you had a choice
of going to a concert

or this party,
which would you choose?

Guess your weight, Sir?

You better back up, man.
All right.

Mike always has to win.

I mean, he's been
upstaging me for 39 years.

So, since you were five?

The surprise was within reach. All I had
to do was get through one therapy session.

How hard could that be?

I never felt as close to mom
because I was a C-section,

whereas Mike had the privilege

of coming through her vagina.

Pretty damn hard.

And now I'd like to read
from my childhood diary.

This passage is entitled

"Trampoline hog."

So, Leigh, if I may...

Let's get back
to what brought you in here.

The surprise party fight.

Oh, you mean when Mike ripped
into me for just happening to

figure out that he was
throwing me a surprise party?

You didn't happen
to figure it out.

You intentionally ruined
it, like you always do.

And this frustrates you?

Of course. It's annoying. And
she always rubs my nose in it.

Because it's the only thing
I can rub your nose in.

Mike, surprises are the only
thing I'm better at than you.

That's not true.
It's so true.

What else is there? You've got
a great job, a great family,

you can do a backflip
on the trampoline.

Double backflip.

Oh.

I'm sorry, go ahead.

And then you got sick,

and you were still better
at everything.

You're a freakin' inspiration.

I mean, even our therapist
asked for your autograph.

I apologize.
That was not professional.

All my life, I've stood
in your shadow, Mike.

And I know it's silly,
but it just makes me feel good

that I can do something for
you, that you can't do for me.

I mean, is it so hard for you

to just let me have this?

No. No, it's not.

Could you excuse me
for a minute?

Ian, call me back.
The party is off.

Repeat, the party is off.

Quit fooling around. Either answer
your phone or when I get down there,

I'm gonna club you with it.

Oh, hey.
I didn't see you there.

So are you two kids
having problems?

Ian, I called you three times.
You need to call me back.

You know, Mike, I think we did
a lot of great work today.

Yeah.
I'm gonna head home.

Home? That's not where
you go after work.

Where do you go after work?

Well, I...

To get a pedicure?

Yeah, I love 'em.

I had to buy some time until
I could cancel the party.

It was either this or H&R Block.

This is the only place
I can truly relax.

If you really wanna unplug,
get rid of that phone.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

You're in the splash zone.

Thank you, Francois. Just put
it next to the martini bar.

Merci.

Whoa!
What's going on here?

Well, I just made
a couple of adjustments.

Unbelievable. I leave to go
get the caricature artist

and you hijack the party.

Is there even a theme here?

Oh, the theme is,
"Things Leigh likes."

Hibiscus martinis because
Pippa Middleton drinks them,

a classic French croquembouche

because she always
wanted to go to Paris.

And sushi with imitation crab because
she thinks real crabs are seas spiders.

Wow, I didn't know
you knew my aunt so well.

I guess I didn't either.

Oh, we won't be needing
your services anymore.

Uh, why the hell
am I on a pogo stick?

You were right, Mike.
This is just what I needed.

Yeah, you and me both.

Hey, sweetie.

Listen, you gotta
cancel the party.

I'm trying to call Ian,
but he's gone rogue.

Sorry, Mike, I can't.
Eve's gone rogue too.

They carded me at the door,
but Scott wanted me there.

So I just snuck in
through the kitchen.

Got roped into butterflying
some shrimp,

prepped the soup, went to a sexual
harassment seminar, and voilà! I was in.

Thank you.

Uh, okay, let's play
that new one I wrote.

This one goes
out to a special lady.

Someone brave enough
to come out tonight.

Oh, my God!
He wrote a song about me!

Hey, we're out of here.
Mom?

I can't believe that you actually
came down here to get me.

Believe it and let's go.

Look, you might not like it, but
Scott and I have a real connection.

I mean, this song is about me.

Okay, you know what, there are
probably a lot of Annie's in here.

Thanks for today, Mike.

Anything for the birthday girl.

The therapy, these treatments.

I seriously appreciate it.

There you are.
Yep, here I am.

Been here the whole time.

Oh, that's not necessary.
You don't have to...

Oh, that's good.
Oh, the touch of a woman.

So I hadn't heard from Ian, but
at least Leigh was occupied.

And in the meantime
I got a foot rub,

which was more relaxing
than I thought.

Muffins!

Where'd she go?

Oh, she left. She said she
didn't wanna wake you.

Shoes, shoes, I need my shoes.

In what world
are those my shoes?

Tiny clogs, tiny clogs.

Mike Henry.
Can't talk! Tiny clogs!

Gotta go! Tiny clogs!

Ooh, tiny clogs.
Tiny clogs, tiny clogs.

Mike, what are you... Before
you open that door, I...

Surprise!

Dad got you!
Your streak is over!

You should see
your face right now.

You look totally surpri...

Well... Now that I'm
looking, it's more sad.

Really, really... Sad.

Congrats, Mike.

You beat me at this too.

Oh, Leigh, this has nothing on
the parties you throw for me.

Caviar?

Eve, wait.

I can't believe Scott was into you.
That was crazy.

Well, it's not that crazy.
And totally out of nowhere.

It wasn't exactly
out of nowhere.

He may have mentioned
something at school.

Why didn't you say anything?

Because I thought if I could
forbid you from seeing him,

then you could just be mad at me
instead of being heartbroken.

God, I'm such an idiot.

I feel like Czechoslovakia,
thinking that Hitler

would just be happy
with the Sudetenland.

Well, on the bright side, you
learned a lot about history.

Maybe we sign you up for AP.

Is that teacher hot?

I'm kidding.
I know it's Mr. McFadden.

He's busted.

Martini?

It's got a plant in it, but they
tell me that's intentional.

Thanks.

Listen, Leigh,
I'm sorry about the party.

I tried to stop it.

Party's fine. And I'm sure
I'll have a good time.

Just I can't believe
you'd go so far

as to go to therapy
just to beat me at this?

Yeah, that was a little low.

I don't regret doing it though,

because I found out how
much all this means to you.

I really opened up in there.
Yeah, I didn't.

Well, that's one thing
you're better than me at.

Therapy.
You win at therapy.

That's not what therapy's about.

See, I don't even know what
therapy's about. You win again.

You know what?
Think we should go back,

'cause I really think that
I can make some progress.

You would really do that for me?

Absolutely.

Besides, I promised Dr. Young,
I'd give her a signed headshot.

Hey, Leigh.

Hey.

I just wanted
to say, happy birthday.

Oh, thanks.

Pretty great party, huh?

Aw, yeah, I guess
it came together all right.

Can you believe
Ian did all of this?

Well, I can't take
all the credit.

Uh...
But apparently you will.

Was that the first guy to
ever write a song about you?

Nope.
Sam Moyer did too.

Sam Moyer?

Wrote a song about you?

Get out of town.

Sometimes it's
hard to get perspective.

If you look at a Monet up close, all
you see are tiny brush strokes.

But when you take a step back,
a landscape comes into focus.

It's the same in relationships.

The things you say and do can
feel like isolated incidents...

But when you get some distance,

you can see the bigger picture.

And then you can ask yourself, is that
the picture you really wanted to paint?

And if it's not,

just scrap it and start fresh.

Ugh! He always has to
wrap everything up

in a nice little bow.

Can't you let me have
the last word for once?

Sure.