All language subtitles for The Love Boat S09E12 Hippies and Yuppies Frat Wars Return of the Lambdas 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]
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[theme music playing]
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♪ Love ♪
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♪ Love, exciting and new ♪
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00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,647
♪ Come aboard ♪
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00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:28,862
♪ We're expecting you ♪
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00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,322
♪ And love ♪
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00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,785
♪ Love isLife's sweetest reward ♪
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00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,788
♪ Let it flow ♪
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♪ It floats back to you ♪
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♪ The Love Boat ♪
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♪ Soon will be makingAnother run ♪
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♪ The Love Boat ♪
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♪ Promises somethingFor everyone ♪
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♪ Set a courseFor adventure ♪
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00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:07,817
♪ Your mindOn a new romance ♪
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♪ And love ♪
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00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:16,201
♪ Love won't hurt anymore ♪
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♪ It's an open smile ♪
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♪ On a friendly shore ♪
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♪ The Love Boat ♪
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♪ Soon will be makingAnother run ♪
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♪ Welcome aboard ♪
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♪ It's love ♪
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♪ Welcome aboardIt's love ♪
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[Gopher on PA] We wouldlike to welcome the membersof Lambda Rho Delta Fraternity
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and their sister sorority,Delta Rho Chi.
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We hope you enjoyyour cruise.
28
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:01,746
Hello.
29
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,666
We're the Bells,
Buddy and Betty.
30
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:08,086
I know: It's just too cute
for words, but we've learned
to live with it.
31
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,922
We're here for
the Lambda Rho Delta
convention.
32
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:12,632
Oh, of course.
33
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:15,218
And you're the couple
who wanted a cabin next
to the Davises.
34
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,303
Is Mr. Davis
a fraternity brother of yours?
35
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,557
We were all
best friends in college.
We haven't seen them for years.
36
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,350
We all went to
Woodstock together.
37
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:26,020
Our picture
was in Life magazine.
"Nudes for Peace."
38
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,773
[Betty laughs]
39
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,773
Buddy?
40
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,362
[exclaims, laughs]
41
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:38,908
Oh, you two look terrific!
How have you been?
42
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,743
Just great.
43
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,580
Hey, Buddy.
44
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,580
Hey, Larry.
45
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,041
You haven't changed a bit.
46
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,753
I mean, not at all.
[chuckles] Nothing.
47
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,630
Yeah, well,
neither have you.
48
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:56,217
I mean, you got
a suit and tie, but, uh,
49
00:02:56,301 --> 00:03:00,555
you kinda look like, uh--
like my father.
50
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,106
This is--
This is great.
51
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,483
This is terrific,
isn't it?
52
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,483
Yeah.
53
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,903
Just great.
54
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,613
Why us?
55
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,698
Why can't this fraternity
hold its convention
56
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,950
on something that can
withstand the shock?
57
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:24,370
Oh, Captain, I assure you
there's absolutely
nothing to worry about.
58
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,164
The Lambdas are
a great group of guys.
59
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,625
I ought to know.
I was one at Dartmouth.
60
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,128
But a lot has happened
since you were in college.
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00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,128
Like what?
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00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:33,838
Animal House.
63
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:37,342
Will this ship be satisfactory,
Honorable Exalted President?
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00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,135
Mr. Dickford,
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00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:42,263
Queen Elizabeth,
President Reagan and the Pope
have sailed on this ship.
66
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,099
True, but I know
how particular
you are, sir.
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00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,977
Hello.
I'm Captain Stubing.
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00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,977
Ah. Grant Woodrow,
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00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,063
head of the Lambda
Alumni Association.
70
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,650
Yes, and he'll be staying with
us Baxter University Lambdas,
as per my request.
71
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:57,236
You're not planning on
sleeping at the foot of my bed,
are you, Dickford?
72
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,239
Only if
you want me to, sir.
73
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,993
If there's anything I can do to
make your stay more comfortable,
please let me know.
74
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,371
Super, but all
we need right now
is the barber shop.
75
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,873
We're all getting
a tad shaggy.
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00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,541
Gentlemen.
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00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:16,673
And you were expecting
animals.
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00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:16,673
[air horn blaring]
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00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,050
[men grunting rhythmically]
80
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,056
Ooh.
81
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,225
Are you
Captain Stubing?
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00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,727
If I say no,
will you leave my ship?
83
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,357
Sorry for the disruption.
I'm Eric Matthews,
84
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,484
president of
Lambda Rho Delta's
SCU chapter.
85
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,278
[chanting] We are SCU!
We are SCU!
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00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,156
We are SCU!
We are S--
87
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,283
I-I'm very pleased
to meet you.
88
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,286
Uh, this is Ace Evans,
a former Lambda.
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00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,499
All right, Lambdas!
90
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,499
[air horn blaring]
91
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,960
[blares twice]
92
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,045
And our ship's
photographer.
93
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,464
He'll be taking pictures
for the insurance claim.
94
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,882
[chuckles]
95
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,468
Captain, these guys
are harmless. Trust me.
96
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,388
They're just
a little overexcited about
the cruise, that's all.
97
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,515
Matthews, let's get
to our rooms.
98
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,976
This thing,
it's starting to leak.
99
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,394
Leak?
100
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,394
Yeah.
101
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,480
Why would it leak?
What do you have in there?
102
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:19,193
You used the sacred
Ark of the Lambdas
for a beer cooler?
103
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,528
Sure.
104
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,864
I want you to take it up
to the cabin, clean it out
105
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,116
and guard it with your life
until after the ceremony.
106
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,827
All right, Matthews.
Don't deviate your septum.
107
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,414
We are SCU! We are SCU!
108
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,792
We are SCU!
We are SCU!
109
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,420
So, uh, how are
the women on the ship?
110
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:40,757
Are they as easy
as drama majors?
111
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,219
Harmless. Trust me.
112
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,601
So one or two of the chapters
are a little wild.
I say we go with it.
113
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,894
[air horn blaring]
114
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,188
[shouting, exclaiming]
115
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,234
[Vicki screams]
116
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,155
[ship's horn blows]
117
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,890
[panicked shouting]
118
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,890
[air horn blares]
119
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,663
Okay, best party?
120
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,707
Oh, that's easy:
New Year's Eve, 1970.
121
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,709
[laughs]
Worst hangover?
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00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:02,171
[all] New Year's Day, 1971.
123
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,048
[Betty] Oh, I have one,
I have one.
124
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,551
Best restaurant
for midnight munchies?
125
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:10,179
-Chang's, home of
chow mein on a bun.
-You got it.
126
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,973
How did we eat
that garbage, huh?
127
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:15,977
What, this from the guy
that used to bribe Chang
for the recipe?
128
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,020
Best English professor?
129
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:21,440
Oh, that's easy:
Doddering Dr. Dixon.
130
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,985
He never assigned papers.
He never gave exams.
131
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:27,697
All he did was read aloud
from The Collected Worksof Charles Dickens.
132
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,742
"It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times."
133
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,120
[chuckles] You know,
we didn't realize it,
134
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,080
but those really were
the best of times.
135
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,542
Hey, give me a break.
That was college,
not the Renaissance.
136
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,713
All right, all right,
but you can't deny
we had some terrific times.
137
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,716
Hey, I'm not.
But it was only four years
out of our lives.
138
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,428
I've come a long way
since the student strike
for coed dorms.
139
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,930
Can't we talk about
what we're doing now?
140
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,517
Hey, the student strike.
I forgot all about that.
You remember?
141
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,936
I haven't.
I was leading the sit-in
142
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,731
in front of the library
when they turned
the water hoses on us.
143
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,318
I remember now.
The water pressure
ripped off your blouse.
144
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:09,447
Yeah, and you didn't even move.
I mean, talk about dedication.
145
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:12,825
Talk about humiliation.
Nobody noticed.
146
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,455
Banzai!
147
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,625
You imbecile!
148
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:25,755
You-- You splashed water
on my swimsuit!
149
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,340
Yeah.
150
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,550
Now I'll have
to change!
151
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,973
Okay, Hockstein,
out of the pool.
152
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,226
Hey, but--
153
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,226
Now!
154
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,769
Okay.
155
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,774
Be right with you.
156
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,325
Hi. Mind if I sit down?
157
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:56,452
Uh, no. Be my guest.
158
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,621
So you want
to get naked?
159
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,416
Excuse us.
He's on a mutant
exchange program.
160
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,835
And he looks so humanoid.
161
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,213
It's done
with Silly Putty.
162
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,093
Do you understand English?
163
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,093
A little.
164
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,804
Touch one of the women
on this ship,
and I'll kill you.
165
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,305
Okay.
166
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,017
So, you want
to get naked?
167
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,145
Didn't you hear
what I just said?
168
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,856
I can't help it.
Major yabos.
169
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,068
Look, Zit,
if they want to get naked,
they'll let you know.
170
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,569
[woman screams]
171
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,738
[screams]
172
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,122
All right. That's it.
173
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,122
[men clamoring]
174
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,833
That's it. Everybody
out of the pool.
175
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,669
Hey. Hey.
Out of the pool.
176
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,839
Everybody over here.
Guys, come here.
177
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,842
I thought I made it clear
to you idiots
178
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,844
that we can't cause
any trouble on board.
179
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,596
May I remind you
that our chapter
is on probation?
180
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,181
Yeah.
181
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,181
We know that.
182
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,643
Then act like it.
183
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,643
[belches] Sorry.
184
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,770
Get out of here.
185
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,024
Hockstein.
186
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,024
Yeah.
187
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,942
Who's guarding
the Ark of the Lambdas?
188
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,528
Feldman.
We tied him to it.
189
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,531
Good.
190
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:17,992
You there.
191
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:20,995
I'm Nolan Dickford.
192
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,373
President of the Baxter
University chapter.
193
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,418
Oh, I'm Eric Matthews--
194
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,418
I know.
195
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,754
Matthews, your chapter
is a disgrace
196
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,714
to the entire
Lambda Rho Delta
tradition,
197
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,091
not to mention
the world.
198
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,926
Well, we do what we can.
199
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,388
You see, most of us
who have devoted our lives
to Lambda Rho Delta
200
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,682
did so because
of the benefits
that come from being
201
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,809
a member
of a prestigious
fraternity.
202
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,561
Thanks to you
and your riffraff,
203
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,396
we're going to have
a difficult time
204
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,232
getting a job with
any of the Fortune 500.
205
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:54,487
Oh, sorry.
I seem to have dozed off
while you were speaking.
206
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,823
Do us all a favor
207
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:02,119
and affiliate
with an organization
more suited to your style.
208
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,538
Perhaps Hells Angels.
209
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,001
Always good
to meet a brother.
210
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,422
[Stubing on PA] May I haveyour attention, please?
211
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,258
For those of youwho have been making outin the lifeboats,
212
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,969
I'd like to remind youthat these are safety devices
213
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,138
and are absolutelyoff limits.
214
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,391
[air horn blaring]
215
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:27,728
And I wantall those air hornsin my office immediately.
216
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,331
Now, how much of this stuff
should we dump in?
217
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,125
Well, let's see.
218
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,086
They recommend
a quarter cup
for one load.
219
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,964
Eight hundred boxes.
220
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,301
Nolan,
what makes you so sure
221
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,721
the SCU guys are gonna
get blamed for this?
222
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,890
Elementary,
Mr. Carnegie.
223
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,945
[soft jazz music playing]
224
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:21,991
Okay, that's 71.
All you need is one more.
225
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,784
One more, you're gonna
make us all famous.
226
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,162
One more
for the record books.
Come on.
227
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:30,374
This is getting out of control.
I've got four people
in the infirmary already.
228
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,293
Hangovers?
229
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,293
Well, three sunburns
230
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,337
and what appears to be
a case of third-degree hickey.
231
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,715
Seventy-two.
Do it to it.
232
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,843
Okay, hey, guys, guys.
Guys, listen.
Wait a second. That's it.
233
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,804
Get him out of here
before he explodes.
234
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,097
Come on.
235
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,141
He's a champion.
236
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,141
Come on, come on.
237
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,854
Oh, and look:
Here's our cabin.
238
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,481
Larry built it.
239
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,358
We have a wonderful view
of Taos.
240
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,113
Honey, show them
a picture of our condo.
241
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,200
When the smog is light,
you can see all of LA.
242
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,911
Hmm.
243
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,911
Oh, you live
in a high-rise, huh?
244
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:10,122
Yeah. Yeah, we have
excellent security.
245
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,542
Oh, so do we.
See, nobody lives around us.
246
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,169
[chuckles]
247
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,006
Must get kinda lonely.
248
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,760
Well, we like it better
than the crowded city.
249
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,513
The city is
where it's happening.
250
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:31,810
Uh-- You know, you look
very nice tonight, Larry.
251
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,063
Yeah, this is probably
the most dressed up I've been
252
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,190
since the premiere
of Easy Rider.
253
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,399
[Betty chuckles]
254
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,443
I love this necklace
you sent me, Larry.
255
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,779
You do beautiful work.
256
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,779
Oh, thank you.
257
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,783
Each one of those stones,
by the way, are blessed
by an old Indian priest.
258
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:52,081
Well, I think
it's time for dinner.
Shall we go inside?
259
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,582
Oh, Buddy,
Betty tells me
260
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,626
you had something
specially prepared
for all of us.
261
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,587
Right. I had them do
the lamb with a special
Dar Maghreb curry
262
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,548
like I do at home
in the microwave.
263
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,091
Oh, the microwave.
264
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,094
Doesn't that
put out radiation
and poison the body?
265
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,972
No, it puts out heat
and cooks the food.
266
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,227
[bubbling]
267
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,690
So, will you come?
268
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,109
Well, I don't know.
269
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,109
Hmm.
270
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,111
How many people
are gonna be
at this party?
271
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,406
Oh, it's hard to tell.
These things have a way
of mushrooming.
272
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,908
Before the mushroom,
how many?
273
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,035
Uh, counting Amy?
274
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,035
Mmm.
275
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:33,080
Um... Ooh. Three.
276
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,958
And let me take
a wild guess:
277
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,210
It's gonna take place
in your cabin.
278
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:42,923
Right. But, um,
we're gonna have to keep
a very low profile about this.
279
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,510
Yeah, that's no easy thing
when you've got a profile
like Hockstein's.
280
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,305
We have to do a show
in an hour,
281
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,016
and afterwards
we're really pretty tired.
282
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,852
Yeah,
and we hate parties.
283
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,567
So what do you think?
284
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,527
I don't know.
We are gonna
have to come up
285
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,739
with some great way
to impress these girls.
286
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,867
Girls like guys
with a sense of humor.
287
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,867
Mm-hmm.
288
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:13,245
I got some fake vomit
in my room.
289
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,913
Hmm. Nope.
290
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,876
We are gonna have to
come up with something
even better than that.
291
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,210
Hmm.
292
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,421
Hmm.
293
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,303
Oh, good.
294
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:32,014
Maybe I can get
some work done
in this madhouse.
295
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,544
Help! Maintenance!
Housekeeping!
296
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,297
Somebody!
Send a plumber!
297
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,395
[soft jazz playing]
298
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,616
Would you
like to dance?
299
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,284
Oh, I'd love to.
300
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:49,925
My name is--
301
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:49,925
I know. Eric Matthews.
302
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:53,846
I've had my eye on you
since this cruise started.
303
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,724
I'm Connie Disch.
Delta Rho Chi?
304
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,101
A sorority sister.
305
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,686
In the flesh.
306
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,272
[both chuckle]
307
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,149
[song ends]
308
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,028
[funky jazz music playing]
309
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:17,286
I, um... I think
I'd like to sit this one out.
310
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,537
Okay.
311
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:22,791
No. Um, I mean out, out.
312
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,210
It's a little stuffy
in here.
313
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,756
Do you mind if we take a walk
in a more secluded place?
314
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,050
[chuckles] Are you kidding?
Compliance is my middle name.
315
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,635
Mine's Wendy.
316
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,522
Oh! You know,
this is fun.
317
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,650
I think we're
in pretty good shape
for a bunch of old-timers.
318
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,320
Betty and I go down
to the health club
every other day.
319
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,990
I owe these thighs
to my aerobics instructor.
320
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,659
Larry and I work out too.
321
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,622
It's a hundred-yard hike
to our well
for our spring water.
322
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:05,209
Isn't it crazy how we've started
an entire fitness industry
323
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,628
to do exactly
what primitive man
did naturally?
324
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:11,840
It's easier to go down to
the health club than it is to
drag Betty around by the hair.
325
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,676
I think we've progressed
beyond that point.
326
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,345
Are you saying
that I'm a Neanderthal
327
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,972
because I don't belong to
one of your flesh academies?
328
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,311
Actually the Fitness Center
is a very serious health club.
329
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,605
We have a 24-hour
nutrition counselor.
330
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,358
Yeah, the people who go there
are really into health.
331
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,193
But it is a bit
narcissistic, isn't it?
332
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,821
I mean,
mirrors on the walls
and leotard boutiques--
333
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,740
Now, hold it just a minute.
Are you calling me narcissistic?
334
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,742
Oh, no, Buddy.
335
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,370
I think what Larry means
is just that
336
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,331
people from Southern
California tend to
337
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,000
be more conscious
of their physical
appearance.
338
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:50,379
Uh-huh. Yeah, well,
I guess when you live
on a mountaintop,
339
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:53,423
it doesn't really matter
what you look like.
340
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,093
Hey, wait a minute,
Buddy.
341
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,184
I'm not into confrontation.
I'm out of here.
342
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:10,858
Wow. He could use an hour
in the gym to work off
some of that hostility.
343
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:14,069
Oh, yeah? Maybe
you'd like to lend him
your workout tape.
344
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,541
You know, I thought
I'd seen everything,
345
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,418
but that guy
was the last straw.
346
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:33,422
I'm gonna put a sign
in all the bars that say
"No pants, no service."
347
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:37,509
Funny, I didn't
notice it right away.
Probably because of his tan.
348
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:44,600
[woman] Ladies and gentlemen,
the International Lounge is
proud to present the Mermaids.
349
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,894
[upbeat pop music playing]
350
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,116
Don't you want to see
the lounge show?
351
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,493
No.
352
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,541
I didn't know
I was this easy.
353
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,543
Oh, I'm sorry.
354
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,338
I'm coming on
a little too strong,
aren't I?
355
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:57,881
Well, a little.
356
00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,883
Do you want me to stop?
357
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,806
What-- What was
the question?
358
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,645
[pop music continues]
359
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:04,698
You know, in my day,
the Lambdas had more respect
for women's clothing.
360
00:22:04,781 --> 00:22:09,077
This is not to say that
the occasional pledge didn't
dabble in brassiere trafficking,
361
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,580
but these men--
these men were
good students.
362
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,583
Petit déjeuner, Honorable
Exalted President.
363
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,544
I took the liberty
of sectioning
your grapefruit myself.
364
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:19,796
I know how fussy you are
about the membranes.
365
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,591
[stifled laughter]
366
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,591
Let it rest, Dickford.
367
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,260
What are you laughing at,
Matthews?
368
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,179
You're gonna pay
for that soap suds prank.
369
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,014
We had nothing
to do with it.
370
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:32,476
We're innocent, sir.
We were drinking
and chasing women. Honest.
371
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,771
I've about had it
with you guys.
372
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:38,231
Painting "SCU"
on the lifeboats,
373
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,067
setting off
the ship's fire alarm,
374
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:42,194
putting exploding cigars
in the gift shop.
375
00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,529
-That's a good one.
-Look, one more shenanigan,
376
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,157
one more disruption,
and you guys are out
of the fraternity.
377
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,202
Sir, we were
not responsible
for any of that.
378
00:22:50,285 --> 00:22:52,496
Oh, no? [scoffs]
379
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:59,628
These were found
in the ship's pool.
Huh? Huh?
380
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,963
How do you
explain that?
381
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,963
My hat!
382
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:04,633
I've never seen this
before in my life.
383
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:08,345
You know, if I had my way,
you guys would never
have had custody
384
00:23:08,428 --> 00:23:10,555
of the sacred
Ark of the Lambdas
to begin with.
385
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,391
But tradition has it
that each chapter must
have it for a year.
386
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:17,896
I'm just glad
that this year's over with.
Now, get out of here!
387
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:26,655
Sir...
388
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,158
you gonna eat that?
389
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:30,158
Get out of here!
390
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,538
Well, you heard him.
391
00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:37,582
Thanks to you guys,
we're practically history
in this fraternity.
392
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,668
We're sorry, Eric.
We can't help it.
393
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,671
It's just that
when you're not around,
we kinda lose control.
394
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,923
Yeah. We become ourselves.
395
00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:47,843
And what's with the soap suds
thing? That's juvenile
even for you guys.
396
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,512
Uh-uh.
397
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,512
No, we had nothing
to do with that. I swear.
398
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,806
-You swear?
-I swear.
399
00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:57,185
You know,
I think someone's
trying to frame us.
400
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,770
Yeah.
401
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:03,191
And I think
it's fairly obvious
who that someone is.
402
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:06,027
[Stubing] They put a stink bomb
in the air-conditioning duct?
403
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,488
Adam, I'm getting tired
of all this foolishness.
404
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:11,575
Well, I finally got
all the soap suds
cleaned up, sir.
405
00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,827
So, no harm, no foul.
406
00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,827
Right.
407
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:16,329
Sir, I think the pool
should be off limits
to those guys.
408
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,165
And the lounge.
409
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,165
And the dining room.
410
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,708
I'd better check
the infirmary.
411
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,751
Is there any way
we can close off
the passageways?
412
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:23,503
Captain, you're gonna
restrict the Lambdas
413
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,380
to their cabins
for the rest of the cruise?
414
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:26,882
Yeah. Now the only
remaining question
415
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,925
is whether their doors
should be locked
or unlocked.
416
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,886
They're just having fun.
That's all.
417
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,429
Come on.
You guys went to college.
418
00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:34,389
Don't you remember
what it was like
to have fun?
419
00:24:34,472 --> 00:24:36,266
No.
420
00:24:34,472 --> 00:24:36,266
Come on, Captain.
421
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:38,560
You once told me
you were a member
of a fraternity.
422
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:42,022
Didn't you guys ever do anything
just for the fun of it? Hmm?
423
00:24:42,105 --> 00:24:44,816
Well-- [clears throat]
There was one time,
actually...
424
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,360
[laughs] I knew it.
All right, what did you do?
425
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,360
No, no, no.
426
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:49,696
Come on. Open up.
What was the big stunt?
427
00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:54,784
Well, we, uh, loosened
the top of the salt shakers
in the cafeteria.
428
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,914
That's pathetic.
429
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,914
Mmm.
430
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:02,626
These kids are dangerous.
Lock their doors.
431
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:02,626
I'm with you, sir.
432
00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:04,753
Now, look, Captain,
the cruise is almost over.
433
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:08,715
I'm sure that the Lambdas
have pulled all the stunts
they're gonna pull.
434
00:25:16,806 --> 00:25:19,768
Captain, I know
in the bottom of my heart
435
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:23,772
that when you think this over,
you're gonna give the Lambdas
another chance.
436
00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:39,871
I'll see to it
these are recycled, sir.
437
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:43,792
[cans clattering]
438
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:58,306
[Gopher on PA] Good morning,and welcome to Acapulco.
439
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,810
Land tours will beleaving in ten minutesfrom the Coral Deck gangway.
440
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,603
We hopeyou'll enjoy your day.
441
00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:05,647
By the way,for you college men,
442
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:07,649
please note thatmaritime law defines
443
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:11,945
unauthorized useof the ship's launchas an act of piracy.
444
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:16,157
[men] Power to the Pyramid.
Power to the Pyramid.
445
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:19,995
Power to the Pyramid.
Power to the Pyramid.
446
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,664
Power to the Pyramid.
Power to the--
447
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,292
Excuse me, but, uh,
what are you guys doing?
448
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,253
Initiating Horvath.
449
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,253
How does he feel
about that?
450
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,547
He likes it. See?
451
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,382
Horvath--
Oh, oh, uh, uh!
452
00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:35,010
Try that again,
and you don't get to see
the Dance of the Virgins.
453
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:36,344
[chuckles]
See you later.
454
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:40,056
Power to the Pyramid.
Power to the Pyramid.
455
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,851
Power to the Pyramid.
Power to the Pyramid.
456
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:47,647
You see, I just don't
understand why they have to
do all these crazy stunts.
457
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:50,692
In my neighborhood,
the loser used to wear
the bandages.
458
00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:52,319
It's tradition.
459
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:54,821
When I went to med school,
they made us dress up
like women
460
00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:58,158
and try to pick up men
at the Pfister Hotel.
461
00:26:58,241 --> 00:26:59,617
[chuckles]
462
00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:02,912
Educated men did that?
463
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,623
Isaac, you've gotta learn
to be more tolerant.
464
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:07,876
They didn't do
any real harm.
465
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:11,421
Hmm. Yeah,
I guess you're right.
466
00:27:14,507 --> 00:27:18,094
You know, I wonder
where they got all
those gauze bandages.
467
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:21,890
I'll kill
the little weasels!
468
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:36,905
[sighs]
469
00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:39,699
We're all behaving
a little childishly,
don't you think?
470
00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:41,242
Kinda.
471
00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,536
I mean, just because
those two are going
at each other,
472
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,748
there's no reason for us to
get involved in it, is there?
473
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,748
Yeah.
474
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,920
We have a lot of years invested
in this friendship, don't we?
475
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,048
We have a lot
of memories in common.
476
00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:58,259
I used to tell you
everything.
477
00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:00,720
I remember you were
the first person I called
478
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,431
on the night I realized
I was in love with Larry.
479
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,768
I'll never forget that.
It was so romantic.
480
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,437
You got arrested
at the campus riot for peace,
481
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,189
fell in love
in the paddy wagon.
482
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:13,108
When I came down
to bail you out,
483
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,111
there you were,
kissing through the wire mesh.
484
00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,987
Yeah. To this day,
485
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:21,533
the smell of tear gas
brings tears to my eyes.
486
00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:34,337
I'm sorry I snapped
at you last night.
487
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,631
Look, let's make a pact,
okay?
488
00:28:36,714 --> 00:28:41,052
No matter how obnoxious
those two get, we're not
gonna get involved.
489
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,430
Deal?
490
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,430
Deal.
491
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:53,481
Say, remember that guy
you dated who used to
sing in bed?
492
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,567
Whatever happened to him?
493
00:28:55,650 --> 00:28:57,861
I married him.
494
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:00,280
That was Larry?
495
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:00,280
Oh, yeah.
496
00:29:00,363 --> 00:29:02,407
I always know when things
have gone well.
497
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:05,994
He does the entire
second side
of Abbey Road.
498
00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:11,332
I can't believe it.
499
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:14,669
I thought for sure
that old bag
of Republican wind
500
00:29:14,752 --> 00:29:17,297
was finally going to
kick them out
of the fraternity.
501
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:20,133
What do we do now, Nolan?
Give up?
502
00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:22,510
I beg your pardon?
503
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:25,180
I said, what do we do now?
Give up?
504
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:28,558
Where did you go
to prep school?
Okinawa?
505
00:29:29,767 --> 00:29:32,312
-Sorry.
-What we do do now
506
00:29:32,395 --> 00:29:36,274
is move on to Plan
"Kick Them While They're Down."
507
00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:38,860
This is a list
of some of the things
you'll be needing.
508
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:41,905
You should have
no trouble finding any
of these items on shore.
509
00:29:41,988 --> 00:29:45,241
Should, however,
an unforeseeable snag arise,
510
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:49,287
I can be reached
at the Nueva Esparta
Tennis Clinic.
511
00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:52,040
Any questions? Super.
512
00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:54,125
[knocking]
513
00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:59,506
Miss Disch?
514
00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:59,506
I just came
to tell you I quit.
515
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:01,674
Au contraire, Miss Disch.
You can't quit.
516
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:03,510
Your assignment's
just begun.
517
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:06,804
Look,
this Eric's a nice guy.
518
00:30:06,888 --> 00:30:08,556
Why don't we just
leave him alone?
519
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,142
Well, if he's so nice,
520
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:15,396
then you won't mind
keeping the Divine Mr. M
occupied for the night.
521
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,650
We have a little surprise
planned for the ceremony,
522
00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:20,568
and we want him
out of the way.
523
00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:24,239
Forget it. Unlike the rest
of the people in this room,
524
00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:28,117
I have been able to retain
at least a few of my values.
525
00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:29,410
Really?
526
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:31,538
Then perhaps we should
inform Professor Erlich
527
00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:35,667
where you purchased
your term paper
on Crime and Punishment.
528
00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:46,135
Now, we're going into Acapulco
with Larry and Rebecca today,
529
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,264
and we're going to have fun,
do you understand?
530
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,264
[knocking]
531
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:51,140
Yeah, yeah.
532
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:51,140
Here they are.
533
00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:55,103
Hi.
We're just about set.
534
00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:57,564
Hi. I brought my guide book.
What should we do first?
535
00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,400
-Whatever you want.
-Doesn't make
any difference to me.
536
00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:02,151
Why don't we start
at the open market?
537
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,778
We can pick up
a few souvenirs.
538
00:31:03,861 --> 00:31:06,322
It's kinda hot over there,
and it's awfully crowded.
539
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:09,701
Well, we could go to
the mission. There's a tour
that starts at 2:00.
540
00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:12,453
Honey, we already went to
the one in Santa Barbara.
541
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:16,291
All right. Why don't
you two guys decide.
542
00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:19,794
Hey, whatever's fine.
It's fine with me.
543
00:31:19,877 --> 00:31:22,130
Yeah, anything's
okay with me.
544
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,215
I've got a great idea.
Why don't we just wing it?
545
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,342
We'll go wherever
our feet take us.
546
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:29,095
Great plan.
547
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:29,095
No, it's a good idea.
548
00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:30,847
We won't be slaves
to a schedule.
549
00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:32,640
Come on.
Let's go catch the launch.
550
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:35,643
[sighs] I can feel
the fun already.
551
00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:16,434
[knocking]
552
00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:22,732
[soft jazz music plays]
553
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,199
Wow.
554
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:34,035
When you invite
a guy to your room,
you really set a mood.
555
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,037
Would you like
something to drink?
556
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,539
Wine, beer, iced tea,
557
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:41,042
champagne, Mocha Mix?
558
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,294
Iced tea sounds good.
559
00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:58,309
It's, uh, gotta get cold.
560
00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:00,937
You and I,
on the other hand...
561
00:33:01,020 --> 00:33:04,524
Uh, Connie, listen,
I'm in a little bit
of a rush tonight.
562
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,696
That kind of a rush?
563
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,240
Oh, God in heaven, yes.
564
00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:18,246
I really need to, uh,
show up at the bank--
at the ceremony tonight.
565
00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:21,624
We're passing the Ark
of the Lambdas, and it's...
566
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,253
What about our ceremony?
567
00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:26,879
Oh, yeah.
568
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:30,675
I really need
to check up on the guys.
569
00:33:30,758 --> 00:33:33,720
No! I can't let you.
570
00:33:36,222 --> 00:33:38,307
Don't worry.
I'll come back.
571
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:41,894
Oh, I'm not worried.
It's just that, uh--
572
00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:44,188
You don't understand.
I mean, uh,
573
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,607
the minute you leave,
I could lose my mood.
574
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:49,944
Completely.
I mean, I could never,
ever get it back again.
575
00:33:50,027 --> 00:33:52,739
I'm sorry, Eric.
There's just too much
at stake here.
576
00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:54,365
I can't let you leave.
577
00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:57,618
I really have to.
578
00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:00,788
Eric...
579
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,791
Oh, I was hoping
I wouldn't have to
tell you this,
580
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,626
but you leave me
no choice.
581
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,838
There's an even
more important reason
why I can't let you leave.
582
00:34:08,921 --> 00:34:10,715
What's that?
583
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:13,760
My entire future's
at stake.
584
00:34:14,677 --> 00:34:16,971
Aren't you putting
a lot of pressure on yourself?
585
00:34:17,054 --> 00:34:19,140
Oh. It's not me.
586
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:21,434
It's-- It's Nolan.
587
00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:23,394
Nolan?
588
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,271
He forced me
to do this.
589
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:27,148
Oh, I get it.
590
00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:29,317
Please,
let me explain.
591
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,027
No, don't bother.
592
00:34:31,110 --> 00:34:33,237
Just who do you think
you're dealing with here,
a freshman?
593
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:35,990
[scoffs] If I ever
pass philosophy,
I'll be a senior.
594
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,242
I know when
I've been set up.
595
00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:44,916
Look, I've told you
I'd buy you a new pair of shoes.
What else can I do, huh?
596
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:47,543
You could stop dressing
like Willie Nelson's brother.
597
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:49,921
You're really being
a crybaby about this.
598
00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:52,673
It's not Larry's fault
we were robbed.
599
00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:52,673
Not his fault?
600
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:55,593
All I wanted to do
was go into Acapulco
and have a little fun.
601
00:34:55,676 --> 00:34:58,596
Do some parasailing,
lie on the beach,
have a piña colada.
602
00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,640
We did all have
piña coladas.
603
00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:03,476
At the police station.
604
00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:03,476
Hey, those things happen.
605
00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:05,144
No, they don't.
606
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,438
Not unless you've got
a hippie friend
with some idiot idea
607
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:09,857
about hiking
the mountain trails
of Acapulco.
608
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:13,110
Oh, and you'd rather spend
your vacation in the lap
of crass commercialism?
609
00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:16,447
Hey, I like
crass commercialism.
It's a lot more comfortable.
610
00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:20,701
And the piña coladas are cold,
not served out of a canteen.
611
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,538
Oh, great.
They got my key.
612
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:25,957
[chuckles] They stole
my shoes, my key,
613
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,334
my camera
and my gold card.
614
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:30,127
I loved that gold card.
615
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,713
I guess I'm lucky
I don't own a gold card.
616
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:35,842
Oh, yeah, you're a real
lucky guy. All they got
off you was $20 cash.
617
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,844
Do you know why
they didn't steal
your shoes too?
618
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,721
Because they were
already wearing better shoes
than you've got on.
619
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,557
Buddy, that's enough!
620
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,225
I see you judge
a man by his shoes.
621
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:45,893
Shut up, Larry.
622
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:50,106
All Betty and I have done today
is listen to you two guys fight.
623
00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:51,649
We are sick of it.
624
00:35:51,732 --> 00:35:54,152
We came on this trip together
because we were old friends
625
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:55,987
who hadn't seen each other
for a long time,
626
00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,864
and you two have
spoiled everything.
627
00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:01,742
Everybody changes.
Can't you see that?
628
00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:05,079
If you can't accept it,
at least shut up long enough
629
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,957
so Betty and I can enjoy
the rest of our trip.
630
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,418
And I have the key.
631
00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:14,005
Hey, you don't have
the gold card too, do ya?
632
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,942
[Stubing]
Ladies and gentlemen,we hope you enjoyed your stay
633
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,527
in sunny Acapulco.
634
00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:39,739
We would like to remind youto stay clear of the Lido Deck,
635
00:36:39,822 --> 00:36:42,783
as the Lambdas will be havingtheir banquet there.
636
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,745
[upbeat pop music playing]
637
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,745
[indistinct conversations]
638
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,630
I feel ridiculous
in this thing.
639
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:58,799
I don't see why.
You wore caftans
all through college.
640
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,593
That was different.
641
00:37:00,676 --> 00:37:03,262
These things make you feel
like we're here to sing
The Messiah.
642
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:06,307
Tradition lends continuity
to our lives.
643
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,851
Say, remember
when we were helping
644
00:37:08,935 --> 00:37:11,270
with voter registration
in Mississippi?
645
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:12,939
We were driving down
that back road
646
00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:15,358
and got stopped
by a crowd building
a bonfire in a field.
647
00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:16,567
Remember, Larry?
648
00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:18,569
We thought it was
the Ku Klux Klan.
649
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:22,406
Of course, it turned out
to be a football pep rally
for the local high school.
650
00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:27,495
Oh, and remember
the summer we hitchhiked
to Woodstock, Buddy?
651
00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:28,663
Yeah.
652
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:32,166
The music.
The sense of brotherhood.
653
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:34,669
The long lines
for the toilets.
654
00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:41,259
I'm not gonna present
the Ark of the Lambdas
looking like an idiot.
655
00:37:41,342 --> 00:37:44,637
Why not?
You do everything else
looking like an idiot.
656
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,681
Sorry I'm late, guys.
657
00:37:46,764 --> 00:37:49,934
I just found out Dickford
set Connie up to keep me away
from the ceremony tonight.
658
00:37:50,017 --> 00:37:51,602
Kept me locked
in her room.
659
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:54,188
That's disgusting.
660
00:37:54,271 --> 00:37:56,107
Is she still there,
by any chance?
661
00:37:56,190 --> 00:37:58,818
Zit, your mind,
it's like an open sewer.
662
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,946
Come on, guys.
Why aren't you dressed?
663
00:38:02,029 --> 00:38:04,115
Aha. Small problem.
664
00:38:04,198 --> 00:38:05,992
We have been short-robed.
665
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:08,411
And you know the tradition
of the fraternity:
666
00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:10,788
-You can't wear anything
underneath them.
-Why not?
667
00:38:10,871 --> 00:38:14,166
Because nothing must come
between you and your robe
but loyalty and honor.
668
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,210
And this thing,
669
00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:18,963
it's just not long enough
to cover my honor.
670
00:38:21,173 --> 00:38:23,968
[tapping on glass]
671
00:38:24,051 --> 00:38:27,680
Welcome, men of fealty
and courage, and friends.
672
00:38:27,763 --> 00:38:31,017
We'll open our annual
Lambda Rho Delta banquet
673
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,395
with the
traditional greeting.
674
00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:36,605
[speaking mock Latin]
675
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:44,905
Rejoice in
the brotherhood of man.
676
00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:52,580
And now,
before we feast together,
677
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:56,083
we'll have the passing
of the sacred Lambda Ark,
678
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,960
which contains
the sacred relics.
679
00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:03,257
Now, the new guardian will be
the Baxter University Lambdas.
680
00:39:03,340 --> 00:39:05,426
Last year's guardians,
681
00:39:05,509 --> 00:39:07,845
[clears throat]
the SCU Lambdas,
682
00:39:07,928 --> 00:39:09,764
will make
the presentation.
683
00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:14,810
[fanfare playing]
684
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:27,031
Let's get 'em.
685
00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:29,784
No. That's exactly
what they want us to do:
get kicked out on the spot.
686
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:33,120
Let's go ahead
with the ceremony.
We'll deal with them later.
687
00:39:36,415 --> 00:39:38,959
Sir, it's obvious
these mud dwellers
688
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,170
have nothing
but contempt
for tradition.
689
00:39:41,253 --> 00:39:44,965
Dickford,
can't you ever speak
like a normal person?
690
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,301
It's just not
my style, sir.
691
00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:57,269
Mr. Matthews, I trust you have
an explanation for your attire.
692
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:59,980
Um, we grew
over the summer?
693
00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:02,983
[grunts] Proceed.
694
00:40:04,151 --> 00:40:05,986
The SCU chapter
of Lambda Rho Delta
695
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:10,407
is proud to turn over
the sacred ark of relics
to our brothers at Baxter.
696
00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:14,161
We have guarded
the cherished relics and now
present them for your review.
697
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,288
[clucking]
698
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,792
I don't remember
this part.
699
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:22,169
Yeah, I wonder what
the chickens symbolize.
700
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:37,226
What I don't understand is,
how did they get enough
ping-pong balls
701
00:40:37,309 --> 00:40:39,145
to fill up
the entire casino?
702
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:40,896
Well, I guess
it'd be my fault, sir.
703
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:43,524
They told me
they were gonna have
some sort of major tournament.
704
00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:44,608
[muttering]
705
00:40:43,607 --> 00:40:44,608
Vicki!
706
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:45,818
What?
707
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:45,818
What's the matter?
708
00:40:45,901 --> 00:40:47,945
Somebody raided
my room.
709
00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:49,405
I wonder who.
710
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:51,824
[scoffs]
711
00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:57,705
I-- I'll kill 'em!
I will kill them!
712
00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:00,332
I'm putting a lock
on my dresser!
713
00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:05,963
Mr. Matthews,
714
00:41:06,046 --> 00:41:09,383
you allowed chickens
to roost on our relics.
715
00:41:09,466 --> 00:41:14,096
From this moment,
your chapter is officially
out of this fraternity!
716
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:16,182
Oh, come on!
717
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:16,182
What?
718
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:19,185
Sir, we didn't know the chickens
were in there. We were
as surprised as you were.
719
00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:20,561
Talk, talk,
talk, talk--
720
00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:22,354
You're out, Matthews!
721
00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:25,608
That's my final verdict.
722
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,736
Yes, sir. Let's go, guys.
723
00:41:29,904 --> 00:41:33,240
[Dickford] Super!
Champagne for everyone!
724
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:41,749
You know, Dickford,
something just occurred
to me.
725
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:43,250
If we're out
of this fraternity,
726
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,961
we have no reason
to be on good behavior,
do we?
727
00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:50,299
How about
a nice dessert?
728
00:41:50,382 --> 00:41:52,676
You don't have the temerity.
729
00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:54,511
[chuckles]
730
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,269
-Mr. Matthews,
this is conduct--
-Duck!
731
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:13,781
[all] Food fight!
732
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,532
G-Gentlemen?
733
00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:17,701
G-Gentlemen? No!
734
00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:20,788
Gentlemen--
Gentlemen--
735
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:23,123
Gentlemen,
I think this is the time
736
00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:26,877
to exercise
a little self-control!
737
00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:31,340
Kind of reminds me
of Chicago '68.
738
00:42:31,423 --> 00:42:34,551
Yeah, except what
we were dodging was a lot
more dangerous than pies.
739
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:37,930
Yeah, but if we threw pies,
it was for a better America.
740
00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:46,313
Come on,
let's show these kids
how it's done.
741
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,649
Come on, guys.
742
00:42:51,610 --> 00:42:53,320
Food fight!
743
00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:03,414
You're in trouble!
I'm getting mean now.
744
00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:13,090
People, please!
Stop this madness!
745
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,720
[sighs]
746
00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:19,763
Ladies and gentlemen,
747
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:22,433
may I remind you
that we are not children?
748
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:27,271
I appreciate
your cooperation.
749
00:43:34,111 --> 00:43:36,947
[Stubing on PA]
I'm giving the Lambdaswho are holding my daughter
750
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:41,118
just five minutesto return her to my cabin,no questions asked.
751
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:43,620
I admire the way
you Frisbee'ed
752
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,664
that lemon meringue pie
across the room.
753
00:43:45,748 --> 00:43:47,708
Yeah, well,
it's all in the wrist.
754
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:50,919
We kind of got off
on the wrong foot
755
00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:52,880
and stayed there
for two days,
didn't we?
756
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,590
Yeah, it was
my fault too.
757
00:43:54,673 --> 00:43:57,718
It's not like
we didn't fight in college.
758
00:43:54,673 --> 00:43:57,718
Oh, we fought.
759
00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:01,597
Yeah,
but we stayed friends.
760
00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:10,022
Listen, next year,
Betty and I are going to be
going out to Yosemite.
761
00:44:10,105 --> 00:44:13,734
Why don't you guys join us?
We've got all kinds of room
in the A-frame.
762
00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:18,739
You're gonna go to
the wilderness, and you're
gonna stay in a house?
763
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:22,659
Tell you what. You and Rebecca
can pitch a tent out
in the backyard, all right?
764
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:25,245
We'll have a great time.
765
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,081
Well...
766
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,081
Tell you what.
767
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:28,874
If it'll make you
feel any better,
768
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:30,834
we won't let you use
the bathrooms.
769
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:32,878
It's a deal.
770
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,718
I don't believe this.
Look at this mess!
771
00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:42,805
All right. Okay.
I don't care
how long it takes.
772
00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:45,349
I want you to keep
everybody out here,
at work,
773
00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:47,601
until this deck
is sugar-free.
774
00:44:47,684 --> 00:44:49,770
You got that?
Good night!
775
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:54,650
You know, we put
Limburger cheese in the dean's
light socket back in '48.
776
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,694
That was a funeral
compared to this.
777
00:44:57,778 --> 00:45:00,948
Forgive me, sir,
but you've got a blueberry
in your teeth right there.
778
00:45:01,031 --> 00:45:03,450
Will you stop that?
779
00:45:01,031 --> 00:45:03,450
[Connie] Mr. Woodrow?
780
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,953
Mr. Woodrow,
there's something
I have to tell you.
781
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:08,080
You talk and I'll talk,
Little Miss Term Paper.
782
00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:10,040
Go ahead,
'cause I don't care
anymore.
783
00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:11,667
Talk about what?
784
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:14,128
Eric,
Nolan blackmailed me
785
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:16,547
to help him with
his crummy little scheme.
786
00:45:16,630 --> 00:45:18,757
Mr. Woodrow,
the SCU Lambdas
787
00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:21,969
are not responsible
for the havoc
on this ship.
788
00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:25,597
You mean, they didn't disrupt
the Mermaids' performance?
789
00:45:26,890 --> 00:45:29,268
No, they did that.
790
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:33,105
Uh, they didn't start
the pie fight?
791
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:35,983
Oh, my God.
792
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:38,652
Really, I didn't know.
I mean--
793
00:45:38,735 --> 00:45:41,363
All I know is that
they didn't fill the pool
with soap suds
794
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:43,907
or paint the lifeboats
or put chickens
in the sacred ark,
795
00:45:43,991 --> 00:45:46,952
because this man
was responsible
for all of that.
796
00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:49,371
He wanted to blame
the SCU Lambdas
797
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,748
for everything
so you'd expel them.
798
00:45:51,832 --> 00:45:55,836
I swear, sir,
on my mother's life,
I did none of those things.
799
00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:57,588
Sure, you did.
800
00:45:57,671 --> 00:46:00,340
Okay, but I meant well.
801
00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:04,178
I wanted a better
fraternity for the sake
of our founding fathers.
802
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:07,848
They're dead.
Go to your room, Dickford.
803
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:10,476
Please, sir--
804
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:10,476
Go to your room, Dickford!
805
00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:15,397
That was a wonderful thing
you did, young lady.
806
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,067
You too, Matthews.
807
00:46:20,277 --> 00:46:22,196
But I didn't say
anything, sir.
808
00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:25,240
That's what I mean.
809
00:46:27,075 --> 00:46:29,745
I seem to have
this, um, habit
810
00:46:29,828 --> 00:46:32,331
of doing very
dramatic things
when I'm with you.
811
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,374
I hope so.
812
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,374
Mm-hmm.
813
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:40,047
[all chanting]
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
814
00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:42,216
[chanting continues]
815
00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:57,439
Well, I guess we'll
all be seeing each other
in Taos in June.
816
00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,275
Yes, and you're
gonna come visit us
in Los Angeles, right?
817
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,860
Word of honor.
818
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,860
Okay.
819
00:47:01,944 --> 00:47:03,904
Your son, Robert,
will have fun playing
with our Coyote.
820
00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:07,658
Uh, I'm not sure I want him
playing with a wild animal.
821
00:47:07,741 --> 00:47:10,077
[chuckles]
822
00:47:07,741 --> 00:47:10,077
Coyote's our son.
823
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,120
Oh, he's very tame.
824
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:18,919
Matthews, you know
how a fraternity is bound
by those secret things?
825
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:20,045
Yes, sir.
826
00:47:20,128 --> 00:47:21,755
I think that
food fight last night
827
00:47:21,838 --> 00:47:24,091
should remain
one of those secret things.
828
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:25,968
Yes, sir.
829
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:25,968
Yeah.
830
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:30,222
Super!
831
00:47:30,305 --> 00:47:31,682
Sorry.
832
00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:37,855
Easy with that, Dickford.
You're already skating
on thin ice.
833
00:47:41,191 --> 00:47:45,779
If another fraternity
ever boards this ship again,
I'm taking a cruise.
834
00:47:45,862 --> 00:47:47,948
Oh, come on, Dad.
They weren't that bad.
835
00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:50,117
"They weren't that bad"?
What are you talking about?
836
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:54,037
They kidnapped you.
They held you
over four hours.
837
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,622
Yeah.
838
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:59,501
Vicki,
what exactly happened?
839
00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:03,088
I can't talk right now, Dad.
I've got a date. Bye.
840
00:48:03,171 --> 00:48:05,299
A date? Vicki?
841
00:48:05,382 --> 00:48:07,467
With whom?
842
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,094
Vicki!
64540
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