All language subtitles for Dharma & Greg [05x02] With a Little Help From My Friend

Let's put our stuff down and go dancing.

I've been working on my moonwalk.

That's very impressive but it's your first
night home so I run into some movies

I made your mom's veggie lasagne,

and I stopped at your herbal store
and I got you some healing incense.

You've got me healing incense?

Well, I had a little trouble understanding the woman
so it might be incense that improves your hearing.

I'm so proud of my honey, he went to
the scary hippie store because he loves me.

The lady who stands too close to you waited on me.

Surprise!

- You made me a surprise party.
- No, I didn't.

Dharma, your tribe welcomes you home.

And so do Edward and I.

Oh boy! You look just...
you look... oh dear!

That's the spirit Marcy, cheer up.

Come on, let's crank up the tune and call the
police on ourselves and get this shindig shaking.

OK everybody, this is a really nice idea but what
Dharma needs is a relaxing night and settling in.

No way, we have a 20 pound
vodka watermelon.

That could be very relaxing.

- Watermelon will keep.
- Yeah, until Russia shunnah..

People, this is a woman who's just had
major surgery what she needs is to rest.

She does look a little tired.

That's what I said, this is just
too much for her too soon.

And she looked pale.

I think that's just the unfortunate color
she's wearing.

- If you ask me she looks overheated.
- Actually, she's feeling great.

She's probably thirsty,
where is that vodka melon?

Maybe she'd like some juice.

- People, what she needs is to rest.
- No, she needs something in her stomach first.

She won't want this lasagne.

Here's a crazy idea,
why don't we ask her what she wants.

She sounds upset.

Greg's right, she's tired.

All right, let's get her into bed.

Kitty, did you put on a little weight?

- What?
- See, you hear that.

nermeen_roshdy@yahoo.co.uk
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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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+971561234154

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Dharma & Greg
Fifth Season.

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Enjoy the watching!

Marcy is all excited because Lalit
Chaudhari is taking over my yoga class.

Look at this, the insurance company
overpaid by $6000.

Lalit the pretzel Chaudhari from India

he can comb his hair with his feet.

See, they sent the doctor a check
and they sent us a check.

How does this happen?

Here's one for you Greg,
what's the point of everything?

Why don't we start with your question?

Do you think you served
some purpose in this world

and it turns out you were just keeping the
seat warm till Lalit Chaudhari walked in

properly on his hands.

I know that this is all very frustrating
but it's temporary

you're going to be walking again
in a couple of weeks.

I'll light your Seaside Serenity candle

it stinks Greg, the lady
who stands too close saw you coming.

- San Francisco hospital supply.
- Great.

Got your bath rails and your shower stool.

Can you also take a look at her wheelchair,
the right side brake won't lock.

Hello! Thank you for getting back to me.

I was just going over the bills and it looks like
you guys made a little mistake.

- Any other problems?
- I no longer serve a purpose in this world.

The armrest is loose.

Do you got any super glue?

For the armrest, right?

- Yeah.
- Because XYT.

Excuse me?
You know, examine your zipper but T.

It's probably been happening all day.

The fella said I'd be able to swim with this.

Maybe he meant along side of it.

You know what, Haword.

- You're a good looking man without the toupee.
- No.

Yes you are.

You know what, boldness is caused
by having extra testosterone.

It's a sign of virility.

I'll tell you what, women like bald men.

I don't think so, really?

Some of them.

I mean more of them like bald men and men who
are pretending to be something they're not.

I mean, do you like women with those
big fake breast implants? -Sure.

Well, my point is...

you're a very handsome baldman.

Come on, say it.

- I'm a handsome bald man.
- Good.

- What's going on?
- I'm a handsome bald man.

Good.

- Thanks so much for this.
- You're very welcome, Howard.

- Did you see what just happened here?
- Obviously not all of it.

Honey, I just helped that guy.

I mean, if we hadn't been in that accident,
I never would have met him

and he would have spent the rest of his life
with a dead weasel on his head.

I have been going to the same places
and seeing the same people for years

but now the universe is like
shuffling the cosmic deck of cards

where I was the four of Hearts hanging up
between the six of Spades and the eight of clubs.

Now I'm like chilling with a jack of diamonds and
that's gonna have some kind of an effect on his life.

That's the Dharma I know.

You're finding the positive aspect
in this and...

I'm having a little trouble understanding you,
that's so great.

I know.

Listen, I'm gonna call Jane to see if she can come
sit with you while I go work on this insurance thing.

I don't need a babysitter.

OK.

- Why don't I just help you back in the bed.
- No honey, we agreed, remember?

You're let me handle my recovery my way.

I'm sorry, OK.

Well, I have my pager on
if you need me for anything.

And you can send a text message to
the cell phone...

- the instructions are on the computer.
- Excellent!

- 80 characters limit. -Get out.
- I'm gone.

Mr Montgomery I'm sorry you
had to travel all the way down here.

We really should have been
able to handle this over the phone.

Did you get the name of the person
you spoke with?

- It's not important.
- Well, it is to us.

Was it Mitzi or Steve?

Was it Linda?

It was Mitzi, wasn't it?

Empirical errors happen I only want
your company to pay what it's supposed to.

Say no more Mr Montgomery.

We know that insurance companies
have a bad reputation,

but we're working to change that.

We're the insurance company
that's not afraid to say...

we're sorry.

Would you like some coffee,
a cappuccino, espresso?

- They've already asked me.
- I'm sorry.

- How much are we talking about?
- About $6000.

- Let's just cut you a check.
- No, I already have a check.

I see, this will just take a second.

Mrs Lapkus, I have a Mr Montgomery here
and he has a check for...

$6052, could you bring that down here
in cash

- and some lemon squares.
- I don't...
- No pass on the lemon squares.

- You're not listening to me.
- I am so sorry...

because we're the insurance company
that listens.

I'm gonna be as clear as I can be.

The anesthesiologist sent us a bill
for $6000.

You sent him a check
and then you sent us a cheque.

Excuse me,

I'm Mr Walden the area supervisor.
Is there a problem there?

No sir everything is fine. This is Mr Montgomery,
and I'm listening and I'm sorry.

I don't want to make a big thing out
of this Mr Walden but truth be told.

Mr Cadwell is not listening.

I hear you.

Mr Cadwell, why don't you get Mr Montgomery
cappuccino and some lemon squares.

And while you're at it take a minute to think about
whether you really belong in our can-do Circle.

All right Mr Montgomery,

what seems to be the problem?
And let me Begin by saying...

we're sorry.

Look at all this exercise equipment.

I bet this place is crazy after work.

It's a hospital Larry.

I bet this place is crazy after work.

- Hi Pete!
- Hey, sorry I'm late.

Pete convinced me to spend my lunch hour
playing tonsil hockey.

It's fun in a hospital you get to use
other people's tonsils.

I'll see you later.

How you doing? 15 pounds.

Well, I'm glad you and Pete
are hitting it off so well.

Having only met because I was in a
car accident and needed Physical Therapy.

Another Cosmic card shuffling

I don't know why people have such trouble believing
in these things when the evidence is so clear.

Look, I am having fun with Pete,
but I know that type.

Just divorced, bad furniture,
answers the phone Hello!

A guy like that doesn't
want to get serious.

Trust me, this is gonna get serious.

Hey Martha, you know what I'm
running a little late do you mind waiting?

Why not? I'm already waiting
for a decent job and true love.

This makes it a hat trick.

- What's her story?
- She's a mess.

She shatters her femurs so she
comes here for therapy.

Then she finds out her mom
who she hasn't spoken to in 10 years

is upstairs dying.

And the mother wants nothing
to do with her.

-That's horrible.
-Get to know her, you'll be on the mother's side.

Maybe that broken leg is going to be
one of the best things that ever happened.

Nice try lady,

next time bring your A game.

And I'm standing at the altar with Earl

and I'm looking for my mother

and she never shows up.

Fair Martha was your third wedding
in five years she was at the first two

she got married on a boat on purpose.

She knows I get nauseous.

Is that true do you know your mother
gets nauseous?

Yes.

That's gonna be Greg.

Can you just talk to him for a minute.

Hi Greg, hang on.

This is good, we're
being honest. Let's keep going.

I hate your hair, what were you thinking?

Stuff all our honesty in one shot.

I'm sorry Greg, sorry.

Where is Dharma?

She's right here,
we are still at the hospital.

Why? Is everything all right?
Can I speak to her?

No, it's not a good time. She's working
on reuniting a mother and daughter.

What?

All right, let's think it back. When was
the last time you two were happy together?

This is good, she is looking
for points of commonality.

Abby, she's been gone all morning,
she needs to come home and rest.

- Just a minute, Greg. Larry, take him.
- No, no, not Larry, no, no.

Come on, there must be something.

We used to go out
for Banana Splits at Rigby's.

Oh yeah.

That was next to the store where
we used to get your extra wide shoes.

Yes.

OK, that's it. We're going out
for ice cream and new shoes.

Hello!

Pick up the phone.

Someone.

Hello! Dharma!

It's just so frustrating, I told her
that I would let her do things her way

but last night she stayed out until
three o'clock in the morning and why...

they went out for ice cream

and then they had to take their waitress
to a cave

near San Jose so she could
get over her fear of bats.

I'm sorry.

That's a hard habit for you to break,
isn't it?

- 12 years down the drain.
- Wow!

You worked there 12 years?

No 12 years sober.

Where were we?

My wrongful termination.

-So, will you handle the case?
-It's the least I can do, I feel terrible about what happened.

I'll start by writing him a letter
that's usually enough to scare them.

I want to let you in on a little secret.

When they say I'm listening

They're not.

I sense that.

-Do you mind if I call my wife?
-Yeah, I don't have a wife.

Dharma, are you there?

Pick up.

I hope this means you're napping.

OK I'll call you later, bye.

If we send a threatening letter...

you know, what she's not napping,

she's probably out teaching...

gang members to square dance.

I gotta go, I will call you tomorrow.

No, no, let me buy.

-Hey Greg! -Hi! What's going on?
-Same old same old.

-Dharma!
-Hi Honey!

I have been calling.

Sorry, there's a lot of people,
I can't hear the phone.

why are there a lot of people?

I told Martha that I would sneak a pizza
into her mom at the hospital Martha?

-Yes, Lawrence's daughter from the family reunited.
-Of course.

That's when it hit me, disabled people
in Vans taking food to shut-ins.

Meals on Wheels On Wheels.

it gives people in wheelchairs
a chance to help.

and the sick people don't have
some healthy person bringing them lunch,

I'm healthy and you're not.

Dharma, you were just in an accident.
You can't go delivering food in your wheelchair.

-I have to go, that's how
we get the good parking spaces.
-No, no.

Honey, if you don't slow down,
you're not going to get better.

This is how I'm going to get better.

we talked about this, you said you
were going to let me do this my way.

Yes, that's when I thought your way was
candles and incense and all that crap.

guess what it's all this crap.

OK, you know what, I give up.

I've got to go take a deposition.

here is my cell phone
and my walkie talkie and my pager.

thank you.

other people call me.

is Greg OK?

Yes, he just doesn't understand the power
of what's going on here.

I'm a Believer because of Dharma
I may have met a man I could marry.

I'm not surprised.

I guess it works for me too.

if everybody hadn't come together to
help Dharma with the free lunch thing

wouldn't have had a chance
for a little sex with the ex.

You see, just good for you.

Nancy, can you go get me
some of these brown bags from the kitchen?

Are you sleeping with Pete?

he was bragging about this new girlfriend
and how he's getting summoned.

and you know how sexy that makes a guy.

Do you want some coffee?

Nancy!

Nancy Pete's.

do you think it's possible that you and Pete
are taking this whole thing a little too fast?

I mean whatever happened,
it just having fun.

Dharma, you're the one
who said to jump in with both feet.

I meant like when you do the hokey pokey.

you put both feet in and then
you take them out, turn yourself about.

well hope you're happy Dharma

that was my mother
and I'm in hell.

hang on.

what? I thought things were going so great.

they were when she was dying

but I just found out
she's gonna pull through.

now she's moving in with me;
her favorite daughter, thank you very much.

tomorrow man's coming over to my apartment
to remove the wallpaper she hates

and I'm supposed to be there because
apparently, he's single and not picky.

that creep.

you mean that creep?

hey Nance.

thank God, I never have
to hear eeh, eeh again.

Hey, want to hear a
coincidence? no not really.

OK.

could it be that you were cheating on her.

sounds about right.

why?

I panicked and all of a sudden
she started saying stuff like

we were meant for each other,
let's jump in with both feet.

So, all water under the bridge now.

yeah I guess I'm all yours kid.

I was about to
turn on call me when you're seeing someone.

I think your muffins are burning.

Jane, I don't make noises like that do I?

oh hello anyone.

foreign Dharma

yes I came back.

this is ridiculous
and I'm not gonna do it anymore.

you're in a wheelchair you need to rest and
you need to let me take care of you.

OK

what happened?

I was a really bad car accident.

I know the thing that the Universe
was doing it just happened and it sucks.

yeah does suck

I didn't help anybody;
the mother, Nancy, Pete, Jane.

Do you know Greg,

I really tried to believe it but I'm
not sure that guy looked better bald.

But it had been in a lateral move.

It's OK.

-I am here.
-I know.

You always are.

Thanks for Watching.