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1
00:00:06,437 --> 00:00:07,936
It's the final lap
2
00:00:07,938 --> 00:00:09,980
of the Springfield Little Grand Prix,
3
00:00:09,982 --> 00:00:12,315
and the karts are tighter
than a royal corgi's collar
4
00:00:12,317 --> 00:00:14,943
as they head into Lard Lad turn.
5
00:00:17,890 --> 00:00:20,874
We have contact!
Things are looking bloody grim
6
00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:24,202
for the rising star of KF-1...
Kids Formula One...
7
00:00:24,204 --> 00:00:26,037
Lisa Simpson.
8
00:00:26,039 --> 00:00:27,956
Simpson spins out!
9
00:00:31,971 --> 00:00:33,729
Look at that icy calm.
10
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,847
Clearly, this pre-tween dynamo
11
00:00:35,882 --> 00:00:38,425
has never felt a modicum of unease
12
00:00:38,427 --> 00:00:41,678
in any automobile.
13
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:43,221
- _
- Dad!
14
00:00:43,223 --> 00:00:45,098
You're gonna hit the median.
15
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,058
All part of the plan.
16
00:00:52,691 --> 00:00:54,524
Aah!
17
00:00:55,044 --> 00:00:57,194
Bart, soccer practice. Go, go, go!
18
00:00:57,697 --> 00:01:00,447
- Whoa!
- Goal...!
19
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:05,702
Dad, please,
you don't have to hurry like this.
20
00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,788
Cut me off? I cut you off!
21
00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:12,626
He didn't cut you off,
he's just driving!
22
00:01:12,628 --> 00:01:15,194
Hope you like brakes because today
23
00:01:15,229 --> 00:01:18,089
it's all-you-can-eat, baby.
24
00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:22,219
Dad, stop...
25
00:01:22,221 --> 00:01:23,929
brake checking...
26
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:25,472
him.
27
00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:26,890
Speed bump, sweetie.
28
00:01:26,892 --> 00:01:28,058
We're gonna get a little air.
29
00:01:30,688 --> 00:01:32,988
_
30
00:01:32,989 --> 00:01:35,690
Ugh. I hate when we're early.
31
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,943
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, as you know,
32
00:01:37,945 --> 00:01:39,653
Lisa has been feeling a lack of control,
33
00:01:39,655 --> 00:01:42,405
which feeds her generalized anxiety.
34
00:01:42,407 --> 00:01:45,116
I know, I know. It's getting worse.
35
00:01:45,118 --> 00:01:46,660
Her twitch jumped eyes.
36
00:01:46,662 --> 00:01:49,955
She used to be a righty.
Where will it jump next?
37
00:01:49,957 --> 00:01:51,414
Mm...
38
00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:54,376
Mom, do you have to do that now?
39
00:01:54,378 --> 00:01:56,294
I knit when I'm worried.
40
00:01:56,296 --> 00:01:59,297
Marge is our family designated worrier,
41
00:01:59,299 --> 00:02:01,550
which frees me up to be the cool dad.
42
00:02:01,552 --> 00:02:04,158
Plus, I get some awesome worry swag.
43
00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:07,847
Marge made this when Bart
swallowed a nine-volt battery
44
00:02:07,849 --> 00:02:10,517
and I had to track it
with a stud finder.
45
00:02:12,529 --> 00:02:13,555
Well...
46
00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:15,355
I asked you both here today
47
00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:18,358
because Lisa made a
significant breakthrough
48
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,068
at her last session.
49
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:22,043
Oh, that's wonderful.
50
00:02:22,078 --> 00:02:24,406
Doctor, I can't thank you enough.
51
00:02:24,408 --> 00:02:26,491
This is such a relief.
52
00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:30,203
Lisa, whatever it is that's
causing your anxiety,
53
00:02:30,205 --> 00:02:32,992
we will walk through hell to fix it.
54
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:36,376
Well, Mr. Simpson, it's your driving.
55
00:02:36,378 --> 00:02:40,422
What did you just say to me?
56
00:02:42,259 --> 00:02:44,134
Well, Dad, um, you know,
57
00:02:44,136 --> 00:02:46,863
you can be a little
aggressive behind the wheel.
58
00:02:46,898 --> 00:02:49,347
I drive at the speed of traffic.
59
00:02:49,349 --> 00:02:51,481
You can at least listen to Doctor...
60
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,435
Lenny thinks I drive cool.
61
00:02:53,437 --> 00:02:55,228
Everything is always my fault.
62
00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:56,798
Well, two can play at that game.
63
00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,898
I say you're a terrible driver.
64
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,484
I'm much faster than you.
65
00:03:04,698 --> 00:03:07,824
Doctor, I'm so sorry about...
66
00:03:08,493 --> 00:03:10,410
You have some nerve
67
00:03:10,412 --> 00:03:12,621
putting these thoughts
in my daughter's head.
68
00:03:12,623 --> 00:03:15,248
Mr. Simpson, can we please
continue this conversation
69
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,125
when you're not driving?
70
00:03:18,462 --> 00:03:21,087
Go around. Go around.
71
00:03:21,089 --> 00:03:23,965
Aah!
72
00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:25,425
Aah!
73
00:03:25,427 --> 00:03:27,218
Did you flip over?
74
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,471
I'm not the one on trial here.
75
00:03:30,349 --> 00:03:32,163
Your trial's in two weeks.
76
00:03:32,198 --> 00:03:34,726
Hey, Doc! Great work with Ralphie.
77
00:03:34,728 --> 00:03:37,562
We can keep aluminum
foil in the house again.
78
00:03:37,564 --> 00:03:40,065
Uh, we'll pick this up later.
79
00:03:42,652 --> 00:03:44,527
Doctor, what can we do?
80
00:03:44,529 --> 00:03:46,863
Well, I have one idea.
81
00:03:46,864 --> 00:03:48,764
_
82
00:03:48,866 --> 00:03:51,534
Here, we practice immersion therapy.
83
00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,620
We expose patients to their phobias
84
00:03:53,622 --> 00:03:57,082
so their habituated response
can decrease over time.
85
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,504
Monsters. Monsters all. Ow!
86
00:04:02,506 --> 00:04:05,298
So, he's afraid
of germs on toilet seats.
87
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,509
No, he's afraid of rotisserie chicken.
88
00:04:08,321 --> 00:04:10,512
Lisa, if we can use
this exposure treatment
89
00:04:10,514 --> 00:04:12,430
to get you comfortable in cars,
90
00:04:12,432 --> 00:04:14,891
that might help you overcome
your other anxieties.
91
00:04:14,893 --> 00:04:17,477
Okay, I'll do whatever it takes.
92
00:04:17,479 --> 00:04:20,397
Well, I must warn you, it won't be fun.
93
00:04:25,529 --> 00:04:27,237
By driving a go-kart,
94
00:04:27,239 --> 00:04:28,488
you can feel a measure of control
95
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:30,430
in your relationship
with motor vehicles.
96
00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:33,034
I don't want to drive.
Just put me back on the pills.
97
00:04:33,036 --> 00:04:34,119
No wait, no pills.
98
00:04:34,121 --> 00:04:35,787
They make me feel nothing.
99
00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:37,372
But my room has never been cleaner.
100
00:04:37,374 --> 00:04:38,936
But I never laugh.
101
00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:40,207
But there's a calm in that.
102
00:04:40,242 --> 00:04:42,986
But the sound of the
grass growing is loud!
103
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,337
Lisa! It's going to be all right.
104
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,091
Take a breath and give it a little gas.
105
00:04:48,093 --> 00:04:50,009
No! I am not doing this.
106
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:51,761
I am putting my foot down.
107
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:54,639
Aah! See?
108
00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:56,847
I could have killed a tire.
109
00:04:57,485 --> 00:04:59,185
Well, we tried.
110
00:04:59,187 --> 00:05:00,478
I am out of here.
111
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,272
Gonna get this back
to the starting area,
112
00:05:02,274 --> 00:05:04,232
and...
113
00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:07,110
Oh... That wasn't so bad.
114
00:05:09,656 --> 00:05:12,866
- Zippy.
- We can try other approaches.
115
00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:14,951
They're making up new
therapies all the time.
116
00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:18,246
Mm. I really hoped this one would work.
117
00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:20,290
It's working!
118
00:05:20,292 --> 00:05:22,167
I'm finally in control.
119
00:05:22,169 --> 00:05:23,960
Oh! Doctor, you cured her.
120
00:05:23,962 --> 00:05:26,087
We don't like to use the word "cure."
121
00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,758
But I'm okay with "miracle."
122
00:05:35,679 --> 00:05:37,726
Johannes on Schwarzvalder III
123
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,560
cuts that turn sharper than his mother
124
00:05:39,604 --> 00:05:42,228
cuts the crust off his
egg and cress sandwiches.
125
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,563
_
126
00:05:43,565 --> 00:05:46,390
He might hit 30 miles an hour!
127
00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:47,591
_
128
00:05:47,624 --> 00:05:51,070
One small slipup means a
playdate with disaster...
129
00:05:51,071 --> 00:05:52,071
_
130
00:05:52,207 --> 00:05:54,616
...unsupervised!
131
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,157
_
132
00:05:59,252 --> 00:06:01,151
_
133
00:06:01,588 --> 00:06:04,904
_
134
00:06:05,337 --> 00:06:07,337
After dominating local races,
135
00:06:07,339 --> 00:06:10,673
Lisa Simpson will make
her debut in KF-1...
136
00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:13,744
the top international go-kart circuit.
137
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,221
For the first time, race fans worldwide
138
00:06:16,223 --> 00:06:17,722
will be able to witness
139
00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:20,459
Lisa's steely confidence on the track.
140
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,352
I can't wait to get out there.
141
00:06:22,354 --> 00:06:24,395
For me,
it's not about winning or losing,
142
00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:25,772
it's about control.
143
00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:29,442
I used to be this big
bundle of worry and anxiety,
144
00:06:29,444 --> 00:06:31,836
but on the track,
the world is going so fast,
145
00:06:31,871 --> 00:06:34,823
yet I am in complete command.
146
00:06:34,825 --> 00:06:37,563
The stillness at the center of power.
147
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,035
I feel it everywhere.
148
00:06:39,037 --> 00:06:42,121
The other day,
I got my first A-minus ever
149
00:06:42,123 --> 00:06:44,207
on a test, no biggie.
150
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,292
Uh-oh. Am I allowed to do that?
151
00:06:47,002 --> 00:06:48,503
Will I lose more points?
152
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,129
Does anyone have tape?
153
00:06:50,131 --> 00:06:52,590
Lisa is very good at her job
154
00:06:52,592 --> 00:06:55,844
of driving around and around.
155
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:59,055
Her unshakable demeanor
has everyone asking
156
00:06:59,057 --> 00:07:02,058
where did this fearless
phenom come from?
157
00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:05,144
Is she the scion of a
Greek shipping magnate?
158
00:07:05,146 --> 00:07:07,480
Or the scion of a
Dutch shipping magnate?
159
00:07:07,482 --> 00:07:09,399
Just what nationality of magnate
160
00:07:09,401 --> 00:07:11,943
is she the scion of?
161
00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:15,154
The truth is she's from an
obscure racing backwater
162
00:07:15,156 --> 00:07:18,283
called... and I hope I'm
pronouncing this correctly...
163
00:07:18,285 --> 00:07:19,951
America.
164
00:07:19,953 --> 00:07:23,204
Her mother is a housewife
with no family fortune
165
00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:24,789
or rich dead husband.
166
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,843
Her pathetic existence peppered only
167
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:30,650
with the mildest of victories.
168
00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:32,005
Found it.
169
00:07:32,007 --> 00:07:34,465
A life squandered.
170
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:37,427
Lisa's father... a bald, simpering,
171
00:07:37,429 --> 00:07:40,588
morbidly obese drain on society...
172
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,433
has been sentenced to community service
173
00:07:43,435 --> 00:07:46,477
for a reckless driving conviction.
174
00:07:46,479 --> 00:07:48,104
Am I going to look okay in this show?
175
00:07:48,106 --> 00:07:50,315
I don't see how.
176
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:51,858
Oh!
177
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:53,816
D'oh!
178
00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:55,570
And despite her dollar-store upbringing,
179
00:07:55,572 --> 00:07:59,657
Lisa Simpson stands poised
for international glory
180
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:02,869
in this fall's KF-1 karting season,
181
00:08:02,871 --> 00:08:05,121
which coincidentally will take place
182
00:08:05,123 --> 00:08:07,832
in her hometown of Springfield.
183
00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:11,085
We are happy to welcome
these wealthy child racers
184
00:08:11,087 --> 00:08:13,796
and their smoking-hot trophy moms.
185
00:08:13,798 --> 00:08:15,089
Oh, yes!
186
00:08:15,258 --> 00:08:18,760
European racing teams have
descended upon Springfield.
187
00:08:18,762 --> 00:08:21,304
And as always, the crew to beat
188
00:08:21,306 --> 00:08:24,557
is Italy's Team Dooshé.
189
00:08:24,559 --> 00:08:27,727
Their charismatic star
is Paolo Paoletti...
190
00:08:27,729 --> 00:08:31,940
son of tracksuit mogul
Fila Fendi Paoletti...
191
00:08:31,942 --> 00:08:36,069
in the number seven Children's
Strength Tylenol kart.
192
00:08:36,071 --> 00:08:38,196
America is such
193
00:08:38,198 --> 00:08:41,199
a wonderfully disgusting country.
194
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:44,327
All the guns and the billhillies,
195
00:08:44,329 --> 00:08:48,083
and all of the television
shows about Chicago.
196
00:08:48,118 --> 00:08:50,458
The fire, the police,
197
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:54,545
the man bear who makes
the beef sandwich.
198
00:08:54,547 --> 00:08:57,715
Oh, Paolo love. Boof.
199
00:08:57,717 --> 00:09:00,426
In a setback to their
jet-setting lifestyles,
200
00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:03,262
Paolo and the other European go-karters
201
00:09:03,264 --> 00:09:05,432
must attend public school
202
00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:09,894
under the watchful eye of broken,
faceless bureaucrats.
203
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,396
I have a face.
204
00:09:11,398 --> 00:09:13,147
Even though these kids
are impossibly wealthy,
205
00:09:13,149 --> 00:09:14,399
I think they'll fit right in.
206
00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:16,985
- They didn't.
- How do you know?
207
00:09:16,987 --> 00:09:18,027
It hasn't happened yet.
208
00:09:18,029 --> 00:09:19,404
But then it did.
209
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:23,324
Hey, I asked for vitello alla caper.
210
00:09:23,326 --> 00:09:25,868
What is this?
211
00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:27,578
Beanie weenies.
212
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:30,707
Why do you hate my mouth?
213
00:09:31,107 --> 00:09:35,169
Huh? Why?
214
00:09:35,171 --> 00:09:38,155
Look at that sad foreign kid.
215
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:41,426
He just needs a regular
American to reach out
216
00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:43,428
and take advantage of him.
217
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:44,795
Is there some problem here?
218
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:47,056
This rectangle lady
219
00:09:47,058 --> 00:09:49,392
is trying to poison Paolo.
220
00:09:49,394 --> 00:09:51,185
Dry your eyes, Pinocchio.
221
00:09:51,187 --> 00:09:54,218
I'm the guy that can make
stuff happen around here.
222
00:09:54,253 --> 00:09:56,482
If just might cost you a little.
223
00:09:56,484 --> 00:09:57,525
Whatever it takes.
224
00:09:57,527 --> 00:09:59,194
I give you one of each color.
225
00:09:59,229 --> 00:10:01,821
Purple, blue, green, purple again.
226
00:10:02,991 --> 00:10:04,282
Mmm!
227
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:06,409
Delizioso.
228
00:10:06,411 --> 00:10:10,580
Finally, somebody
around here with no accent.
229
00:10:10,582 --> 00:10:14,177
Mwah. Bartolomeo,
you make Paolo so happy.
230
00:10:14,759 --> 00:10:17,295
You are Team Dooshé now.
231
00:10:17,297 --> 00:10:20,423
I'm make it rain on you.
232
00:10:20,425 --> 00:10:22,091
Boof, boof, boof, boof!
233
00:10:23,386 --> 00:10:24,469
Gentlekids,
234
00:10:24,471 --> 00:10:27,388
start your two-stroke engines.
235
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,556
I can't believe it,
236
00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:32,060
my girl's first
international go-kart race.
237
00:10:32,062 --> 00:10:33,503
Did you put on sunblock?
238
00:10:33,568 --> 00:10:35,396
I'm in a fireproof suit.
239
00:10:35,398 --> 00:10:36,814
Oh, your father's here.
240
00:10:36,816 --> 00:10:39,525
He's finished with
his community service.
241
00:10:39,527 --> 00:10:41,736
He can finally watch me race.
242
00:10:41,738 --> 00:10:44,447
I wouldn't miss seeing
my little Danica Patrick
243
00:10:44,449 --> 00:10:47,462
for all the Jolly
Ranchers in the piñata.
244
00:10:48,388 --> 00:10:50,661
The kids never check the legs.
245
00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:57,460
Now, honey, I know they're going fast,
246
00:10:57,462 --> 00:11:00,129
but I'm sure Lisa's safe.
247
00:11:00,131 --> 00:11:02,507
There's nothing to worry about.
248
00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:03,716
Oh, I'm not worried.
249
00:11:03,718 --> 00:11:06,335
Come on, you got to be a little worried.
250
00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:09,222
Nope. I've seen Lisa race a dozen times.
251
00:11:09,224 --> 00:11:11,766
She's really good and she's safe.
252
00:11:11,768 --> 00:11:14,602
But-but you're the family's
designated worrier.
253
00:11:14,637 --> 00:11:17,654
If you're not worried,
that means there's a worry vacuum
254
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:20,650
that I have to fill,
and vacuuming is also your job.
255
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:25,154
Oh, my God, look how fast she's going.
256
00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:27,365
I'm not concerned in the least.
257
00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:29,715
And me am concerned in the most.
258
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,577
I need the stress yarn.
259
00:11:31,579 --> 00:11:33,704
Relax, Homie, she's winning.
260
00:11:33,706 --> 00:11:36,582
Which means she's going
faster than everybody else.
261
00:11:36,584 --> 00:11:37,658
What am I even knitting?
262
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,086
Oh, it's golf club covers.
263
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,053
Boof!
264
00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:53,391
Time for your bedtime
sweet dream routine.
265
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,562
Here's your night terror teddies,
266
00:11:57,564 --> 00:12:01,107
and I'll set the night-light
to Boogeyman Banisher.
267
00:12:03,361 --> 00:12:05,403
Dad, I don't need all that.
268
00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:07,321
I don't have anxiety anymore.
269
00:12:07,323 --> 00:12:11,033
- And I have you to thank for it.
- Me?
270
00:12:11,035 --> 00:12:13,161
Yes. Your unhinged driving
271
00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:16,689
made me face my fears
and get into go-kart racing.
272
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:19,000
This is on you.
273
00:12:21,254 --> 00:12:23,629
All my fault. All on me.
274
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:28,676
It's me, Lisa Mario.
275
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,476
Woo-hoo! Thanks to my papa,
276
00:12:37,478 --> 00:12:39,437
I'm-a risking my life.
277
00:12:39,439 --> 00:12:42,815
And I'm a dream version of Milhouse.
278
00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:45,109
Aah!
279
00:12:46,404 --> 00:12:48,738
It's-a me, Wario.
280
00:12:48,740 --> 00:12:52,325
My bad parenting has lead to your doom.
281
00:12:53,712 --> 00:12:56,329
Trauma bomb! Wah!
282
00:12:56,331 --> 00:12:57,955
Aah!
283
00:12:57,957 --> 00:13:00,917
It's-a me, Wario!
It's all my fault! Wah!
284
00:13:03,052 --> 00:13:05,463
So, Paolo, you liking this vibe?
285
00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:08,101
Not enough bass? Too much bass?
286
00:13:08,136 --> 00:13:09,884
Less bass is gonna cost.
287
00:13:13,181 --> 00:13:15,389
Ketchup bottle service.
288
00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:17,433
You make it just like Milan,
289
00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:20,102
except here everyone is fat and ugly.
290
00:13:20,104 --> 00:13:21,908
Bartolucci, I love you.
291
00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:23,397
Here is money.
292
00:13:23,399 --> 00:13:26,317
Excuse me, Signor Spaghetti,
293
00:13:26,319 --> 00:13:27,818
there's somebody at the door.
294
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,157
He's not on the list and he
claims to be the principal.
295
00:13:31,192 --> 00:13:32,697
I am the principal.
296
00:13:32,732 --> 00:13:35,034
Bart Simpson,
I need to see you in my office,
297
00:13:35,036 --> 00:13:36,327
which this is.
298
00:13:36,329 --> 00:13:39,288
Bartissimo, this polyester tie man...
299
00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:40,957
he make-a me sad.
300
00:13:40,959 --> 00:13:42,792
Leave this to me.
301
00:13:42,794 --> 00:13:45,294
Seymour,
why don't you take the afternoon off?
302
00:13:45,296 --> 00:13:48,256
Here, get your mother's tires rotated.
303
00:13:48,258 --> 00:13:50,716
That better not be a euphemism,
young man.
304
00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,306
Principal Skinner, I need some help
305
00:13:53,341 --> 00:13:55,263
with the obituary for the class hamster.
306
00:13:55,265 --> 00:13:58,057
Is the correct wording "died by suicide"
307
00:13:58,059 --> 00:13:59,225
or "of suicide"?
308
00:14:00,395 --> 00:14:04,029
Oh, look, everyone, it's my archrival.
309
00:14:04,064 --> 00:14:06,607
Oh, enjoy your one win.
310
00:14:06,609 --> 00:14:08,979
You are only a flash in the pan.
311
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,896
I am the breaded veal in the pan.
312
00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:15,166
Paolo will be atop the podium again.
313
00:14:15,201 --> 00:14:18,035
I'm sure you will.
You're a terrific driver.
314
00:14:19,163 --> 00:14:20,663
Oh! See how she mocks me?
315
00:14:20,665 --> 00:14:23,040
Bart, I hate her and her whole family.
316
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:26,544
Say cruel things about this girl
so I may agree with them.
317
00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:29,922
Well, I've never met her before,
but I can tell by her vibe
318
00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:32,675
that she's an animal-kissing,
Wikipedia-editing middle child
319
00:14:32,677 --> 00:14:34,760
who burps broccoli and farts tofu
320
00:14:34,762 --> 00:14:36,929
and won't do her brother's homework,
321
00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:38,055
even for euros.
322
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:43,144
And yet this girl you
have no connection to...
323
00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:44,746
she beats me.
324
00:14:44,781 --> 00:14:46,272
My thumb is raw
325
00:14:46,274 --> 00:14:48,439
from all of the doing-a this.
326
00:14:51,279 --> 00:14:53,029
That's a boof.
327
00:14:54,365 --> 00:14:55,990
Coming, Mom.
328
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:58,159
I can't let you go.
329
00:14:58,161 --> 00:14:59,994
Racing is too dangerous.
330
00:14:59,996 --> 00:15:01,662
Dad, it's fine.
331
00:15:01,664 --> 00:15:03,789
But I had a dream last
night that I was Wario
332
00:15:03,791 --> 00:15:06,850
and I bombed you off of
Rainbow Road into oblivion.
333
00:15:06,885 --> 00:15:09,202
I'm not in danger just
because you dreamed
334
00:15:09,237 --> 00:15:12,882
a bunch of crazy stuff from Mario Kart.
335
00:15:12,884 --> 00:15:14,175
What's Mario Kart?
336
00:15:14,177 --> 00:15:16,761
I am going to the race.
337
00:15:16,763 --> 00:15:18,763
It's my job to keep you safe.
338
00:15:18,765 --> 00:15:22,391
You never cared about that when
you were driving like a maniac.
339
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:24,935
Well, through some miracle of therapy,
340
00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:27,855
I'm in the driver's seat now,
and I'm enjoying myself,
341
00:15:27,857 --> 00:15:31,836
and that's when you choose
to care about my safety?!
342
00:15:31,871 --> 00:15:33,527
You summed up things perfectly.
343
00:15:33,529 --> 00:15:35,154
So you'll stay home?
344
00:15:35,156 --> 00:15:37,656
No. I'm in control.
345
00:15:40,336 --> 00:15:43,662
Marge, stop her.
I've never been more worried.
346
00:15:43,664 --> 00:15:45,787
Well, I've never been more relaxed.
347
00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,458
Hey, Mom, can I drive?
348
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:48,626
Sure, give it a shot.
349
00:15:50,084 --> 00:15:52,073
No!
350
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,386
Today,
351
00:15:58,388 --> 00:15:59,804
the KF-1 karting season
352
00:15:59,806 --> 00:16:03,015
culminates in a two-mile
loop through Springfield.
353
00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:04,892
A sad ruin, once home
354
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:08,687
to a thriving nipple tassel
manufacturing industry.
355
00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:11,524
Stupid Dad, worried about my safety.
356
00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:14,485
Remember the time he forgot
me at a Renaissance fair?
357
00:16:14,487 --> 00:16:16,654
I had to get a ride home
from the turkey leg wench.
358
00:16:16,656 --> 00:16:20,282
Oh, honey, your dad's not used
to being the one who's nervous.
359
00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:23,035
He just wants what's best for himself.
360
00:16:23,037 --> 00:16:24,578
Thanks for flying out, Bippe.
361
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,163
I know Paolo cannot race
362
00:16:26,165 --> 00:16:27,832
without his secret weapon.
363
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:28,916
Andiamo!
364
00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:37,925
Aw, Bart.
365
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:41,137
You remember that Paolo likes gelato
366
00:16:41,139 --> 00:16:43,639
after I told you over and over
367
00:16:43,641 --> 00:16:46,477
that I like gelato.
368
00:16:46,512 --> 00:16:48,519
You are my fratello
369
00:16:48,521 --> 00:16:50,781
from another mamma mia.
370
00:16:50,816 --> 00:16:53,732
Oh, you must be
Bart's new Italian friend.
371
00:16:53,734 --> 00:16:55,787
Well, good luck in the race.
372
00:16:55,822 --> 00:16:58,404
You're gonna need it
to beat Bart's sister.
373
00:16:59,824 --> 00:17:01,532
Bart Simpson,
374
00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:03,534
you are the brother
375
00:17:03,536 --> 00:17:05,594
of Lisa Simpson?
376
00:17:05,629 --> 00:17:09,158
Um, uh, well, um, only by blood.
377
00:17:09,193 --> 00:17:10,499
Traditore!
378
00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,001
No, no.
379
00:17:36,861 --> 00:17:39,487
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday!
380
00:17:40,364 --> 00:17:43,449
Mwah. Bart, you break-a my heart,
381
00:17:43,451 --> 00:17:45,183
like snap-a the breadstick.
382
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,535
Boof.
383
00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:50,222
Aah!
384
00:17:52,019 --> 00:17:53,614
You're not watching the race?
385
00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:56,962
I'm too worried about Lisa.
My only daughter...
386
00:17:56,964 --> 00:17:58,255
Uh, there's Maggie.
387
00:17:58,257 --> 00:18:00,883
...is rocketing around on
a flaming death-mobile!
388
00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:03,844
Why does no one else
care about Lisa's safety?
389
00:18:03,846 --> 00:18:05,087
She's fine. See?
390
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:06,138
From the pole position,
391
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,973
Lisa Simpson immediately
392
00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,558
takes the initiative.
393
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:10,768
What's initiative?
394
00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:13,020
Why does she have it? Is it safe?
395
00:18:14,273 --> 00:18:15,689
Stupid Team Dooshé.
396
00:18:15,691 --> 00:18:17,413
Those euro jerks forgot to remove me
397
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:19,026
from their text thread.
398
00:18:20,363 --> 00:18:21,403
"Sabotaggio"?
399
00:18:21,405 --> 00:18:23,447
Sabotaggio?
400
00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:25,908
Ooh, is that some kind
of delicious spiced ham?
401
00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:28,444
It means they sabotaged Lisa's kart!
402
00:18:28,479 --> 00:18:30,496
Oh, God, I knew she was in danger.
403
00:18:30,498 --> 00:18:32,414
My overreacting is now just...
404
00:18:33,129 --> 00:18:34,750
reacting.
405
00:18:34,752 --> 00:18:37,378
It's the final lap of
the Springfield Little Grand Prix,
406
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:40,538
and the karts are tighter
than a royal corgi's collar
407
00:18:40,573 --> 00:18:42,675
as they head into Lard Lad turn.
408
00:18:42,677 --> 00:18:44,718
Perfecto, Team Dooshé.
409
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,721
You loosened all the bolts
on Lisa's kart. Boof!
410
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,102
We have contact!
411
00:18:55,064 --> 00:18:58,482
In the storm,
I am the calm at the center.
412
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,280
Why is her wheel not-a falling off?
413
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:06,407
Aah!
414
00:19:08,327 --> 00:19:09,660
Sabotaggio.
415
00:19:09,662 --> 00:19:12,371
Okay, missing a wheel, no brakes,
416
00:19:12,373 --> 00:19:15,249
still in control.
417
00:19:15,251 --> 00:19:17,501
Okay, now I'm not in control,
418
00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:19,211
but still calm.
419
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:22,256
Wow, I have a great therapist.
420
00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:23,924
She's gonna die!
421
00:19:27,805 --> 00:19:30,164
Marge, I learned my lesson. I was right.
422
00:19:30,199 --> 00:19:31,724
Lisa's not safe.
423
00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:34,435
Aah! Sabotaggio!
424
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,819
- Dad!
- Don't worry, sweetie.
425
00:19:43,821 --> 00:19:44,862
I'm gonna get you out of this mess
426
00:19:44,864 --> 00:19:46,655
the way I got you into this mess:
427
00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:49,867
by driving like a maniac!
428
00:19:52,371 --> 00:19:54,038
Stay behind me.
429
00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:58,539
Aw, you're brake checking me.
430
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:02,129
But now I'm brake checking with love.
431
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,434
Oh! I-a lose.
432
00:20:07,469 --> 00:20:10,137
This sport is stupid-o.
433
00:20:10,139 --> 00:20:12,556
And now I fade away to Ibiza
434
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:16,393
to a quiet life as a beach DJ.
435
00:20:16,395 --> 00:20:18,479
Boof.
436
00:20:20,775 --> 00:20:24,360
Dad, thank you.
You've made me feel safe.
437
00:20:24,362 --> 00:20:27,154
And I always will.
438
00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:32,660
Shh.
439
00:21:35,658 --> 00:21:38,499
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www.addic7ed.com
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