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[CHUCKLES]
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Who are you?
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I'm Melissa Manchester.
Maybe you can help me.
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My agent booked me onto this weird thing
called, uh, The Muppet Show.
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Am I in the right place?
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[ANIMAL YELLING]
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[SINGING SCALES]
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Check! I'm in the right place.
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It's The Muppet Show,
with our very special guest star,
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Melissa Manchester! Yay!
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
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♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
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♪ Why do we always come here? ♪
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♪ I guess we'll never know ♪
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♪ It's like a kind of torture ♪
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♪ To have to watch the show ♪
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♪ But now let's get things started ♪
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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Thank you, thank you,
and welcome once again to The Muppet Show.
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And tonight our very special guest star
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is the great singer and songwriter
Melissa Manchester.
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Yes. But first, through the miracle
of costly special effects,
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we whisk you away to the high Alps.
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So please welcome
the Vienna Downhill Boys Choir
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with their Alpine anthem,
"Tumbling Tumbleweeds"! Yay!
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♪ See them tumbling down ♪
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♪ Pledging their love to the ground ♪
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♪ Lonely but free, I'll be found ♪
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♪ Drifting along
With the tumbling tumbleweeds ♪
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♪ Cares of the past are behind ♪
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♪ Nowhere to go, but I'll find ♪
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♪ Just where the trail will wind ♪
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♪ Drifting along
With the tumbling tumbleweeds ♪
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♪ I'll keep rolling along ♪
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♪ Deep in my heart is a song ♪
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♪ Here on the range I belong ♪
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♪ Drifting along
With the tumbling tumbleweeds ♪
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♪ Drifting along with the tumblin' ♪
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♪ Tumblin', tumblin', tumblin'
Tumblin' tumbleweeds ♪
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We should have wished them luck.
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Well, it's too late now.
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It's never too late.
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[IN UNISON] Break a leg! Break a leg!
Ha-ha-ha.
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[SKIER GROANING]
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Oh, boy, it's a disaster.
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Doctor, will I ever be able to ski again?
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Uh, what do you mean again?
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Listen, you should've taken lessons.
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Well, I did. I took lessons
from the famous Klaus Noodleman.
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-You did?
-Yeah.
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-Hey, Klaus.
-Oh.
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Oh, hi, Charlie. How'd it go?
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What do you think?
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Did you do everything I told you?
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Everything.
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Figures.
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Listen, Scooter, if I come up with any
more dumb ideas like that, stop me.
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Right. Shall I cancel
the blindfolded yodeling hang glider?
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Of course not. I said, "dumb ideas."
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Okay, well, now that we've gotten off the
ski slopes and lived to tell about it,
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it's time for some real entertainment.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
one of the truly great singers,
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Melissa Manchester.
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♪ Baby cried the day
The circus came to town ♪
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♪ 'Cause she didn't want parades
Just passin' by her ♪
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♪ So she painted on a smile
And took up with some clown ♪
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♪ While she danced
Without a net up on the wire ♪
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♪ I know a lot about her, 'cause you see ♪
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♪ Baby is an awful lot like me ♪
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♪ Don't cry out loud ♪
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♪ Just keep it inside ♪
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♪ And learn how to hide your feelings ♪
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♪ Fly high and proud ♪
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♪ And if you should fall ♪
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♪ Remember you almost had it all ♪
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♪ Baby saw that when they pulled
That big top down ♪
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♪ They left behind her dreams
Among the litter ♪
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♪ And that different kind of love
She thought she'd found ♪
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♪ There was nothing left
But sawdust and some glitter ♪
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♪ But baby can't be broken
'Cause, you see ♪
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♪ She had the finest teacher
That was me ♪
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♪ I told her ♪
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♪ Don't cry out loud ♪
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♪ Just keep it inside ♪
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♪ And learn how to hide your feelings ♪
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♪ Fly high and proud ♪
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♪ And if you should fall ♪
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♪ Remember you almost had it all ♪
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♪ Don't cry out loud ♪
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♪ Just keep it inside ♪
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♪ Learn how to hide your feelings ♪
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♪ Fly high and proud ♪
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♪ And if you should fall ♪
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♪ Remember we almost had it ♪
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♪ All ♪
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When I was a kid,
I left home to join a traveling circus.
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Oh, were your folks upset?
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Are you kidding?
They're the ones that got me the job!
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Now, listen, guys. The show will take care
of all of your medical expenses.
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Oh, well, that's good.
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Did you cash that check I gave you?
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-Oh, of course.
-Good.
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-At least, probably.
-What?
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Well, actually, no.
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What?
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Gee, guys, is there something wrong?
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Oh, no, nothing at all.
We just wanted to invite you to come
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to our cast party.
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Oh, thanks!
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Wait-- Whoa!
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[PLAYING HARMONICA]
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[TEMPO INCREASING]
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[CRASHING]
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NEWSMAN:
And now, this Muppet News Flash.
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On Wall Street today, commodity experts
were amazed as beef fell dramatically.
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[COW MOOING]
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Oh, no!
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Kermit, where did that cow come from?
He seemed to fall right out of the sky.
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Yeah, well, see,
he said that beef was falling,
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and, well, it's a little hard to explain.
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Why don't we just watch Pigs in Space?
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Oh, no.
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Don't worry.
Things only fall on the Newsman.
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What did you say
that next sketch is called?
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Uh, Pigs in Space.
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Oh, good. I thought you said,
pigs from space.
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Not again!
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[PIGS SNORTING]
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NARRATOR [ECHOING]:
And now, Pigs in Space!
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The Swinetrek is just about to be boarded
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by a sinister spaceship
from the Crab Nebula.
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Oh! Oh, the Crab Nebula!
I'm so frightened!
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They're all such mean baddies over there.
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-There he is!
-Aah!
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Glubba, glubba, glubba, glubba.
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-Oh! Oh, help!
-Help!
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Can we 86 the yelling?
I'm trying to take a nap.
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[YAWNS]
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But this weird alien from the Crab Nebula
just boarded the ship.
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Glubba, glubba!
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So, what does he want?
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I don't know. I don't speak Crab Nebulese.
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Well, why don't you use
the universal translator right there?
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Knuckle brains.
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[MACHINERY BEEPING]
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I represent Zwunko, the wash day miracle!
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Guaranteed to turn your gluboos
sparkling pink without rinsing.
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Wow, we knew it was important.
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Sparkling pink, huh?
I'll take a dozen boxes.
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You don't have any gluboos.
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Oh. Make it half dozen.
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NARRATOR:
Tune in next time for Pigs in--
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[PHONE RINGS]
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Hello? Huh?
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No, I'm busy. I'll call you back
during the commercial.
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[PHONE HANGS UP]
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--in Space!
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Pops and Fozzie. Pops and Fozzie, on next.
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Pops, I don't think
I'm gonna be able to do this.
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Oh, it's gonna be terrific, Fozzie.
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Why, back in 1948,
I played the Roxy with this number.
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Yeah, but it's so complicated!
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And now, here they are, Pops
and Fozzie with "Once in Love with Amy."
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Yes, sir!
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Aha!
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♪ Oh, once in love with Amy ♪
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♪ With Amy ♪
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♪ Always in love with Amy ♪
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This is easy!
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♪ Ever and ever fascinated by her ♪
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Two, three...
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♪ Set your heart afire to stay ♪
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-Wait. Turn!
-Turn.
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♪ Once you're kissed by Amy ♪
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I'm sorry.
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♪ Tear up your list, it's Amy ♪
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♪ Ply her with bonbons
Poetry and flowers ♪
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-♪ Moon a million hours away ♪
-♪ Away ♪
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♪ You might be quite
The fickle hearted rover ♪
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♪ So carefree ♪
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Sorry.
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♪ And bold ♪
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♪ Who loves a girl
And later thinks it over ♪
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Pops.
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♪ And just quits ♪
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Pops, what do I do now?
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♪ Cold ♪
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-Follow me!
-Yes, sir.
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♪ Once in love with Amy ♪
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♪ With Amy ♪
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♪ Always in love with Amy ♪
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Turn!
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♪ Ever and ever
Sweetly you'll romance her ♪
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00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,446
♪ Trouble is the answer will be ♪
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♪ Will be ♪
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00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:46,159
♪ That Amy would rather stay in love ♪
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00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,660
♪ With me ♪
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I did it! I did it! Ha-ha-ha!
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00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:55,710
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Pops! Fozzie!
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00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,504
Thank you! Mwah, mwah!
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You really gotta hand it to Fozzie.
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00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,049
Hand him what?
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00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:02,175
-Abuse!
-Oh.
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00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:06,388
-Boo! Hiss! Terrible!
-Boo! Hiss! Terrible!
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00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,224
[PLAYING BLUES RHYTHM]
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00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,941
Hey, Floyd, what are you doing?
217
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,944
Oh, I'm playing the blues.
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00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,946
Do you like blues music?
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00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,449
Only when I'm depressed.
220
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,535
Do you get depressed often?
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00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,829
Only when I play the blues.
222
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,664
You're weird.
223
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,625
I may be weird, but you're beautiful.
224
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,920
Funny you should feel that way
because I've always had a thing
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00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,047
for weirdos, man.
226
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:44,384
Now, how can I tell
when you're being serious?
227
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,761
Whenever I call you "friend," friend.
228
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,015
Okay, friend, let's communicate.
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00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:05,363
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
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00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:10,618
♪ I begin to think I understand ♪
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00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,871
♪ Anywhere at all ♪
232
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:19,252
♪ You and I have always been
Forever and ever ♪
233
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:25,467
♪ I see myself within your eyes ♪
234
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:31,890
♪ And that's all I need to show me
Why everything I do ♪
235
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:35,060
♪ Always takes me home to you ♪
236
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:38,563
Forever and ever ♪
237
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:44,694
♪ Now I know my life has given me
More than memories ♪
238
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:49,574
♪ Day by day ♪
239
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,327
♪ We can see ♪
240
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:58,083
♪ In every moment
There's a reason to carry on ♪
241
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,960
♪ Carry on ♪
242
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,964
♪ Sweet love showin' us a heavenly light ♪
243
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,636
♪ I've never seen such a beautiful sight ♪
244
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:15,016
♪ Sweet love flowin' almost every night ♪
245
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:18,061
♪ I know forever we'll be doin' it ♪
246
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:30,115
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
247
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:43,795
♪ And now I know my life has given me
More than memories ♪
248
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:49,300
♪ Day by day ♪
249
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,886
♪ We can see ♪
250
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:57,892
♪ In every moment
There's a reason to carry on ♪
251
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,603
♪ Carry on ♪
252
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:04,524
♪ Sweet love showin' us a heavenly light ♪
253
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:09,446
♪ I've never seen such a beautiful sight ♪
254
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:13,533
♪ Sweet love flowin' almost every night ♪
255
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:19,205
♪ I know forever we'll be doin' it
Doin' it, doin' it ♪
256
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,665
♪ Sweet love ♪
257
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,543
♪ Shining in my life ♪
258
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,170
♪ Sweet love ♪
259
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:29,507
♪ Bright star in my life ♪
260
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:39,225
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
261
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:51,363
♪ Whenever I call you friend ♪
262
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,832
Okay, next we have
the Flying Teeterini Family.
263
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:06,419
Okay, on-stage, the Teeterini Family,
on-stage, please!
264
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,006
Hey, scusi, froggy.
You tell me where the teeter board is.
265
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,633
Oh, there's no room for it.
266
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,968
That teeter board's
supposed to be on-stage.
267
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:17,305
No, as I'm saying to you,
there's no room for it on the stage.
268
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,641
-Why not?
-Because there's a set in the way.
269
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:23,645
Why is the set out there? Hey, can we
clear the set, please? Clear that set!
270
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:26,356
You don't need to shout
in the talkie-talkie thing!
271
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,566
We're standing right here!
272
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,860
-Can we please put this down?
-Right here?
273
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,946
-Okay.
-What? Aah!
274
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,490
Can you guys get on-stage please?
275
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:39,911
You expect the famous Teeterini Family
to perform on-stage
276
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,830
without their famous teeter board?
277
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:45,542
Well, hey, listen, is the teeter board
really a big part of the act?
278
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:50,588
Watch this. Okay, boys, alley-oop!
279
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,508
Come on, let's do it! Alley-oop!
280
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,469
Luigi. Come on! Alley-oop!
281
00:18:56,553 --> 00:19:01,433
Come on, boys! Let's do this.
One more. Come on. Alley-oop!
282
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,101
[ALL YELLING]
283
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,024
Bella, bella, bella!
284
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,527
[PLAYING "HOW MUCH IS THAT
DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?"]
285
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,370
[BARKS]
286
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,501
[BARKS]
287
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,258
[HOWLS]
288
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,639
[ROARS]
289
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:49,939
NARRATOR: Today, the Swedish Chef
will prepare spring chicken.
290
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,067
[SINGING IN GIBBERISH]
291
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,697
♪ Bork, bork, bork ♪
292
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,495
[SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH]
293
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:06,998
Springy chickie. Oh, chick-chick-chickie.
294
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,166
[CLUCKING]
295
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,959
Oh, chickie. Spring chickie.
296
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,295
No.
297
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,005
-Spring chickie.
-No.
298
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,175
-Spring chickie.
-No, no.
299
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,225
Oh, chickie.
300
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:41,574
I thought that was the dumbest
Swedish Chef spot they've ever done.
301
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:42,951
What do you think?
302
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,202
[CLUCKING]
303
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:51,668
When will you ever learn?
You're no spring chicken anymore!
304
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:58,133
Hey, chickens. Would you guys keep still?
Chef, what's with these chickens?
305
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,136
Boing, boing.
306
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:03,263
I feel control over this show slipping.
307
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:05,974
Skiers on crutches
and chickens on springs.
308
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:09,602
♪ These are a few of my favorite things ♪
309
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:13,732
Wait for me, girls! Ha-ha-ha!
310
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,568
Oh, boy, this show
is now officially out of control.
311
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:20,155
I'm gonna introduce the final number.
Then it's every frog for himself.
312
00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:23,616
Hey, Kermit, Kermit, Kermit.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
313
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,828
Because an angry Swede
was chasing them with a cleaver!
314
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:28,997
That's not it.
315
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,667
Hey, wait. Yours is better!
316
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,379
Ladies and gentlemen, backstage is a mess.
317
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:40,633
I've got angry skiers, springing chickens,
and bouncing Italians.
318
00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,594
So let us leave all that behind.
319
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,972
Come with me now
to the peace and quiet of sunny Spain,
320
00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:51,353
there to hear the beautiful soothing
melodies of Miss Melissa Manchester.
321
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,690
[PLAYING PASO DOBLE MUSIC]
322
00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,120
Yoo-hoo!
323
00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:24,761
♪ Your cheatin' heart ♪
324
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:28,348
♪ Will make you weep ♪
325
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:32,602
♪ You'll cry and cry ♪
326
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:34,938
♪ And try to sleep ♪
327
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:40,235
♪ But sleep won't come ♪
328
00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:44,114
♪ The whole night through ♪
329
00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:48,201
♪ Your cheatin' heart ♪
330
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,663
♪ Will tell on you ♪
331
00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:56,501
♪ When tears come down ♪
332
00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,380
♪ Like fallin' rain ♪
333
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:04,384
♪ You'll toss around ♪
334
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:06,511
♪ And call my name ♪
335
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:12,100
♪ You'll walk the floor ♪
336
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:15,603
♪ The way I do ♪
337
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:19,733
♪ Your cheatin' heart ♪
338
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:23,111
♪ Will tell on you ♪
339
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,300
Oh, chickie!
340
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:46,801
[SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH]
341
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,397
♪ When tears come down ♪
342
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:02,901
♪ Like fallin' rain ♪
343
00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:07,155
♪ You'll toss around ♪
344
00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:10,033
♪ And call my name ♪
345
00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:15,038
♪ You'll walk the floor ♪
346
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:18,583
♪ The way I do ♪
347
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:22,462
♪ Your cheatin' heart ♪
348
00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:26,216
[YELLS]
349
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:31,388
♪ Will tell on you ♪
350
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:56,621
Okay, we've just about come down
to the end of another one.
351
00:24:56,705 --> 00:25:00,000
But before we go, let us thank
the lady who made it what it was,
352
00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:04,838
the beautiful and talented
Melissa Manchester. Yay!
353
00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:10,301
Thank you, Kermit, I've had a great time.
354
00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:11,803
Oh, I'm so glad.
355
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:15,015
When I wasn't being hit by flying skiers,
356
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:19,519
or jumped on by spring chickens,
or pelted with acrobats.
357
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:21,479
Uh, yeah, well, actually you're lucky,
358
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:26,026
because next week we're having a yodeler
who works blindfolded from a hang glider.
359
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:27,485
-You're kidding.
-No.
360
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,612
[HANG GLIDER YODELING]
361
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:32,198
That's next week!
362
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:37,912
Sorry about that.
363
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:40,999
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
364
00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:43,168
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
365
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:21,539
-Watch out!
-Aah!
366
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,960
We surrender!
27108
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