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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,461
-[CHUCKLES]
-[DOOR OPENS]
2
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,381
Oh. Who are you?
3
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,800
Coburn. James Coburn.
4
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:09,926
Oh, yeah.
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,013
Yeah, I seen you
in all them tough-guy movies.
6
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:16,683
Ha ha. Hey, you got a contract
out on the frog?
7
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,310
No, no, I'm just here as a guest.
8
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,729
Sure, you are.
9
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,815
And that bulge in your pocket's
just a pipe.
10
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,111
Sorry.
11
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,322
I think you've seen too many movies, Pop.
12
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,490
[POPS CHUCKLES]
13
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,952
-Now can you show me to my dressing room?
-Yeah. Uh, Scooter!
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,203
-Yeah, Pop?
-Yeah.
15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,707
Show Mr. Coburn to his dressing room.
16
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,125
And make it snappy.
17
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[BULLETS RICOCHET]
18
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,503
Right this way, sir.
19
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,302
It's the Muppet Show,
20
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,388
with our very special guest star,
James Coburn.
21
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[CHEERING]
22
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
23
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
24
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
25
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♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
26
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♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
27
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,167
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
28
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♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
29
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♪ Why do we always come here? ♪
30
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♪ I guess we'll never know ♪
31
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♪ It's like a kind of torture ♪
32
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♪ To have to watch this show ♪
33
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♪ But now let's get things started ♪
34
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
35
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
36
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
37
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♪ This is what we call ♪
38
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
39
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,043
Well, she heard it.
40
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,838
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
41
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,465
Hi-ho, thank you,
and welcome again to The Muppet Show.
42
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,467
I have some wonderful news for you,
43
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because tonight's guest star
is Hollywood's own James Coburn.
44
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[AUDIENCE GASPS]
45
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,307
Yes! But first-- First,
46
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we have, direct from the Lamprey Lounge
of the Bermuda Triangle Hilton,
47
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,480
here are the Sargasso Bottom Rhythm Boys.
48
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[CHEERS]
49
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,651
[PLAYING MARCH]
50
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,936
Easy, Animal. Easy.
51
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,230
[PANTING]
52
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,815
Square drums.
53
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,026
Yucky drums!
54
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:14,235
[GRUNTS]
55
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,136
[GRUNTING]
56
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,304
He's breaking away!
57
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,848
[YELLING]
58
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,725
[OCTOPUS GRUNTING]
59
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,937
[ANIMAL GROWLING]
60
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[LAUGHING]
61
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,821
[OCTOPUSES WHIMPERING]
62
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[YELLS]
63
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,367
[ANIMAL GROWLING, OCTOPUS YELLING]
64
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,836
You got it wrong again.
65
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,588
Yeah! We're supposed to sit up here
and throw things at you.
66
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,340
Yeah. Huh?
67
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:23,555
Oh. Scooter. Are the octopuses all right?
68
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:27,892
Well, it's hard to be sure.
They may wind up in bouillabaisse.
69
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,145
Huh. Bouillabaisse.
70
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,689
Well, those French towns are nice.
71
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,526
Animal's on the loose!
Animal's on the loose!
72
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,362
-Get him, Rizzo!
-Oh, good grief, it's James Coburn.
73
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
74
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,243
-What is it, Kermit? You having problems?
-Uh, problems?
75
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,579
Uh, uh, no, no. No, no, no.
76
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,957
Actually, uh,
everything's right under control. Yes.
77
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:54,502
It's gonna be a very different experience
having you with us tonight.
78
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:55,628
Really? How so?
79
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,921
Oh, well, for a change,
80
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,215
we have a real Hollywood tough guy
with us.
81
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,384
[ANIMAL YELLING]
82
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:07,390
What do you call this? The Easter Bunny?
83
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,392
Uh, well, this is Animal.
84
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,353
Animal!
85
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,854
[LAUGHS]
86
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:19,402
I don't know what's got into him, Kermit.
I tried to tire him out this morning.
87
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:23,740
Took him for a long walk
wearing his cement galoshes.
88
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,158
[CHUCKLES]
89
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,327
[GROWLING]
90
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,998
Animal. Animal, come here.
91
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:35,585
There's right ways and wrong ways
to handle aggression.
92
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,795
Aggression?
93
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,674
You don't wanna bust a chair up like that.
94
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,842
-Wha...?
-You wanna bust it up like this!
95
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:43,968
[ANIMAL YELLS]
96
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,229
My kind of guy.
97
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,775
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!
98
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,152
[BAND PLAYING "CLOSE TO YOU"]
99
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:08,910
♪ Why do birds suddenly appear ♪
100
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,036
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
101
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:15,542
♪ Every time you are near? ♪
102
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,587
♪ Just like me ♪
103
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,674
♪ They long to be ♪
104
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:26,886
♪ Close to you ♪
105
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:33,435
♪ Why do stars fall down from the sky ♪
106
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:39,941
♪ Every time you walk by? ♪
107
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,819
♪ Just like me ♪
108
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,905
♪ They long to be ♪
109
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:50,827
♪ Close to you ♪
110
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:57,083
♪ On the day that you were born
The angels got together ♪
111
00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:02,505
♪ And decided to create
A dream come true ♪
112
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,801
♪ So they sprinkled moondust
In your hair of gold ♪
113
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:12,682
♪ And starlight in your eyes of blue ♪
114
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:20,023
♪ That is why all the guys in town ♪
115
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:26,821
♪ Follow you all around ♪
116
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♪ Just like me ♪
117
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♪ They long to be ♪
118
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:40,210
♪ Close to you ♪
119
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,755
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
120
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,717
Help me throw him out.
121
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,428
-No, no, no. He's a family man.
-He is?
122
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,972
Yes, he's got a wife and squids.
123
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,017
[YELLS THEN THUDS]
124
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[LAUGHS]
125
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:03,149
Anybody got a crowbar?
126
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,529
Will you get out of here, octopus?
Scram, scram, scram.
127
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,322
-Kermit, I can't believe it.
-What?
128
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,158
James Coburn and Animal have made friends.
129
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,911
Yeah, they're up in his dressing room
swapping stories.
130
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,705
[ANIMAL YELLS]
131
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,250
JAMES:
Oh, I bet. How about this?
132
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,584
[JAMES GRUNTS]
133
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,133
Well, they're swapping something.
134
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:32,137
-Kermit, we're ready for Bear on Patrol.
-Yes, sir, sir.
135
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,056
Uh, Bear on Patrol is not until
the second half of the show.
136
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,933
Okay, we'll wait in the squad car.
137
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,685
Take this thing with you, would you?
138
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:43,148
Oh. In that case,
we'll wait in the squid car.
139
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,691
Ha-ha-ha.
140
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,775
[TRUMPETS PLAY FANFARE]
141
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,569
Okay, it is now my privilege
142
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,905
to present our very special guest star,
Mr. James Coburn,
143
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,117
in a Muppet salute to the Roaring '20s,
144
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,202
the era of flappers and bathtubs.
145
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,538
Hey. You gonna need me?
146
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,081
Uh, no, I don't think so.
147
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,709
Oh, yeah?
Well, if you're doing the Roaring '20s,
148
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,836
who's gonna roar? You?
149
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,088
[LAUGHING]
150
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,923
Well, we'll work on it.
151
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:14,054
Well, just don't forget,
if you need me, I'm your "mane" man.
152
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,264
[LAUGHS]
153
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,683
Okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen,
here it is,
154
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,769
the Muppet salute to the Roaring '20s.
155
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,479
[CHEERS]
156
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,647
[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
157
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,610
[CROWD CHATTERING]
158
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,667
[CROWD WHOOPS]
159
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,170
MAN 1:
Oh, yeah.
160
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,216
MAN 2:
Oh, yeah. Oh, look at her go.
161
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,801
[CROWD WHOOPS]
162
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,305
MAN 3:
Hey, she's not bad.
163
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,312
MAN 4:
Yeah.
164
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,439
[CROWD CONTINUES CHATTERING]
165
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,116
MAN 5:
Hey. Go, birdy, go!
166
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,661
MAN 6:
Yeah! All right!
167
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,746
[CROWD CHEERING]
168
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,671
[CLUCKING]
169
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,589
What--? What's the matter, sweetheart?
170
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,258
[CLUCKING]
171
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,426
You're scared?
172
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,929
What's to be scared of at the Club Mildew?
173
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,431
-Hey, boss.
-Yeah?
174
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,475
I heard another mob's gonna try
to muscle in.
175
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,978
Ah, relax, Cuddles.
176
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,522
Nobody muscles in on the Gonz.
177
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,857
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
178
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,735
-Yeah? Who's there?
-James.
179
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,570
James who?
180
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,489
James Coburn.
181
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,533
That's not funny.
182
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,410
JAMES:
Yeah, neither is this.
183
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,417
Hey, uh, don't do that.
It might be bad for the door.
184
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,128
Holy rigatoni, it's Big Jimmy!
185
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,338
Take him, Lefty.
186
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:17,135
Hey. Where do you think you're going?
187
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,222
[GASPS]
188
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,563
All right, Gonzo, you're finished.
189
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:32,275
Why, you two-bit hood.
190
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,277
-You calling me a two-bit hood?
GONZO: Yeah.
191
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,030
When I've been living next door to you
for 10 years?
192
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,865
Okay, okay, fine,
193
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,659
then you're a neighbor-hood.
194
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,913
-Gonzo, Gonzo.
-Aah!
195
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,040
That's a lousy joke.
196
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,543
-[GAS FIZZES]
-[GONZO GRUNTS]
197
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,007
Oh!
198
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,842
That root beer is terrible.
199
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:02,222
It's the first thing we're gonna change
around here.
200
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,265
Oh, yeah? You and who else?
201
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,975
Me and my mob.
202
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,396
I don't see any mob.
203
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,192
Well, gosh. Heh, heh.
204
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,487
Gee, they were right behind me outside.
205
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,073
Ha, ha! Get him, boys!
206
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,326
Louie, Max, Lefty, Dopey, Sneezy,
207
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,204
-Donner, Blitzen!
-Help, Jimmy! Help, Jimmy!
208
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,665
-Help, Jimmy!
-Animal!
209
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,958
[ANIMAL, JAMES GROWL]
210
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,126
[GONZO SCREAMS]
211
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,294
[ALL YELLING]
212
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,797
No, no, no!
213
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,132
[YELPS]
214
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,759
[SCREAMS]
215
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,475
[BOTH YELLING]
216
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:53,064
Oh, no. I'll bet you don't have a violin
in that case.
217
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,274
That's right, Gonzo.
218
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,859
[WHIMPERS]
219
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,028
I give up! I give up.
You can have the place.
220
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,572
I was gonna open a chicken ranch anyway.
221
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,700
-I don't want the place, Gonzo.
-What?
222
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,910
I just came to play with the band.
223
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,039
[PLAYING LIVELY RAGTIME MUSIC]
224
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:16,796
ALL: ♪ Come on and hear, come on and hear
Alexander's Ragtime Band ♪
225
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,760
♪ Come on and hear, come on and hear
It's the best band in the land ♪
226
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,512
♪ He can play a bugle call
Like you never heard before ♪
227
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:31,686
♪ That's just the bestest band what am
Honey lamb ♪
228
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:36,733
♪ Come on along, come on along
Let me take you by the hand ♪
229
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:41,738
♪ Up to the man, up to the man
Who's the leader of the band ♪
230
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:46,743
♪ And if you care to hear
"The Swanee River" played in ragtime ♪
231
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,328
♪ Come on and hear ♪
232
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,955
♪ Come on and hear ♪
233
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:57,837
♪ Alexander's Ragtime Band ♪
234
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,639
[CHATTERING]
235
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,808
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
236
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,731
NARRATOR:
And now...
237
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:22,779
ridding the world of evil,
here comes Bear on Patrol.
238
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,618
FOZZIE: Get in there, you.
-Hey, lighten up.
239
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,912
Just keep going.
Get in there. Stand still.
240
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,247
-Patrol Bear,
-Yes, sir?
241
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,040
can't you be more polite to the public?
242
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,667
But, sir, this is a crook.
243
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,377
Well, that's different.
244
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,129
What's the little twerp's name?
245
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,715
Banana Nose Maldonado.
246
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:46,469
Banana Nose Maldonado.
How'd you ever get a dumb name like that?
247
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,889
My parents were Mr. and Mrs. Maldonado.
248
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:55,311
Well, okay, smarty-poo.
Lock him up, Patrol Bear.
249
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,022
Yes, sir, sir, sir.
250
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,607
-Get in there, you.
-Hey, wait, wait. Don't put me away.
251
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,026
What if I spill the beans?
252
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,695
That's simple.
Lock him up and don't give him any beans.
253
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,614
-Uh--
-Yes, sir. Get in there. No beans for you.
254
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:10,910
Hey, wait a minute, what if I actually
tell you that I'm really a police officer?
255
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,496
Oh, yeah?
Why aren't you wearing one of these
256
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,624
official police officer-type uniforms,
hmm?
257
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:21,796
Uh, well, uh,
this is an official police disguise.
258
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,214
HOGTHROB & FOZZIE:
Really?
259
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:25,633
-Yeah.
-Wow, this looks cute.
260
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:26,926
-Thank you.
-Let me...
261
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,678
Is this part of it right here?
262
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,138
Aah! That's real!
263
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,890
Oh, oh, sorry.
264
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,642
Actually, I'm Chief Inspector Maldonado.
265
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:35,769
[HOGTHROB GASPS]
266
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,978
HOGTHROB & FOZZIE:
Really?
267
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,146
-Yeah.
-Oh.
268
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,440
Patrol Bear, set the chief inspector free.
269
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,733
Yes, sir, sir, sir.
270
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,443
-Thank you, sergeant.
-Sorry.
271
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,029
-Let me show you the way out.
HOGTHROB: Help him out.
272
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,947
-Thank you.
-You look attractive in that.
273
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,657
I'll get you a-- Taxi!
274
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,077
Love to the wife and kids.
275
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,495
[GROANS]
276
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,747
Oh, sir, we almost...
277
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,249
Sir? Would you come here?
278
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,211
Uh, do you recognize this fellow?
279
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:05,715
HOGTHROB: Oh, yeah.
-Oh!
280
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,718
What are we going to tell
the commissioner?
281
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,596
Well, the truth, of course.
282
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,725
I caught this guy, but I'm still looking
for this one and this one.
283
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,728
[GONG SOUNDS]
284
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,563
Now...
285
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,733
Animal, if you can control yourself,
286
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,319
we will enter a state of relaxation.
287
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,279
[CHIMES GENTLY RINGING]
288
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:32,367
We're getting deeper and deeper relaxed.
289
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,121
Relaxed.
290
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,497
Are you relaxed?
291
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,249
Wha...?
292
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,167
Relax now.
293
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,878
Control yourself.
294
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:48,842
The white eternal light
is penetrating your temples,
295
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:52,303
going down through your body,
296
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,724
and coming out your toes.
297
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,728
Are you relaxed?
298
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:02,313
Uh...
299
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,274
Uh, James?
300
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,402
Oh.
301
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,031
-Oh, Kermit.
-Uh, excuse me, I--
302
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:14,117
You know, I think it's just great
what you're doing with Animal here.
303
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,328
Oh, it's nothing,
just a little Oriental philosophy
304
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:18,872
and some meditation.
305
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,249
Meditation.
306
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,251
-Mm-hm, mm-hm.
-Yeah.
307
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,837
Yeah, just don't forget
that the closing number
308
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,424
is a rooting-tooting, gun-toting,
cowboy desperado shoot-'em-up.
309
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:33,345
Yeah, Kermit, listen,
Animal and I have been talking this over,
310
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,639
and there's an awful lot of violence
in entertainment these days.
311
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,392
We'd like to do something
a little bit more enlightened.
312
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,686
-Oh.
-Uh, something more serene.
313
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,272
Like maybe a salute to Japan.
314
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,232
Oh. Uh...
315
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,734
Uh, yeah, well, we--
316
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:51,071
Well, we already have the cowboys
and we rented the horses though.
317
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,530
[YELPS]
318
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,907
-Kermit.
-Hm?
319
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,493
We want to do something serene.
320
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:00,205
Serene!
321
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,831
[STAMMERS]
322
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,668
Yes, well, that's a good idea.
Yes, indeed.
323
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,253
A salute to Japan. Of course.
324
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,174
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
325
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,764
Hey, will you sit down?
326
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:21,101
I can't. My seat has been "octopied."
327
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,520
[YELLS]
328
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,355
[PIANO CRASHES]
329
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,108
We were so funny.
330
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,317
Yeah.
331
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,319
Were we supposed to be?
332
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,655
Hm? Oh, boy, what are we gonna do?
333
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,824
James doesn't wanna do
the gunfighter sketch.
334
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,993
-Why not?
-He doesn't like the gunfighter sketch.
335
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:42,747
You wanna know what the gunfighter thinks
of James Coburn?
336
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:44,541
Uh, no, no, probably not.
337
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,626
Nah.
338
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,420
-Uh, Scooter?
-Yeah?
339
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:49,671
What are we gonna do?
340
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:53,216
James Coburn wants to do a quiet,
contemplative Japanese closing number.
341
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,426
I got no time, boss.
342
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:57,095
You know whose bus just broke down
in front of the theater?
343
00:18:57,178 --> 00:19:01,182
The Tokyo Tai Chi, Karate,
and Chowder Society. Yeah.
344
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,642
Oh! Oh, look!
345
00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,228
Wow, fate sometimes just seems
to step right in.
346
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,148
-I'll go make the intro.
-Hm? Oh. Oh.
347
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,774
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
348
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,653
Okay. Uh, and now, ladies and gentlemen,
349
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,948
we're never too sure if any act
on this show will work or not,
350
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:19,534
but this next act is guaranteed to work.
351
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,786
Or not. Hoo, boy.
352
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:25,331
Anyway, here is our special guest,
Mr. James Coburn,
353
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:29,586
exploring the perfect serenity
of Eastern gong music
354
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,964
with our own Zen percussionist, Animal.
355
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,383
I give it about a minute and a half.
356
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:38,511
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James Coburn.
357
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,680
[BAND PLAYING SERENE MUSIC]
358
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,849
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
359
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,169
[LAUGHS]
360
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,213
-Animal.
-Huh?
361
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:14,589
Serenely.
362
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,467
Serenely.
363
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,943
[LAUGHS]
364
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,611
Oh, oh, oh.
365
00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:38,530
Oh, oh, oh.
366
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,626
Boring.
367
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,799
You guys are really dying out there.
368
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,509
Shh!
369
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,886
I'm telling you, Jimmy,
you should've done the Western.
370
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,471
We're doing the Eastern.
371
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,227
What kind of a dance you call that?
372
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,813
Square.
373
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:16,317
Most humbly beg to differ.
374
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:19,237
This not square dance.
375
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,616
This square dance.
376
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,869
[BAND PLAYING LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC]
377
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,836
Hey, buckaroos, it's a hoedown!
378
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,213
[COWBOYS WHOOPING]
379
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:43,636
[WHOOPS]
380
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,972
Well, I certainly can't beat them.
381
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:51,853
♪ Lean your partners to and fro
All join in with an "oh, soh, do" ♪
382
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,105
[DANCERS WHOOPING]
383
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:04,157
♪ Out in the barnyard having fun
Chickens are laying egg foo young ♪
384
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:16,294
♪ Dance to the middle, then come backy
Mud in your eye and a cup of hot sake ♪
385
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:28,807
♪ Dog in the bread pan, kitten in the stew
Girls in the middle for a little kung fu ♪
386
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,225
Hi-yah!
387
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:32,644
-Oof!
-Hee-yah!
388
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:38,066
♪ Keep on dancing round the floor ♪
389
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:40,402
♪ It'll soon be over
'Cause there ain't no more ♪
390
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:42,445
♪ Tough old cowboys, Japanese dolls ♪
391
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,698
♪ Bow to your partner
Walk through the walls ♪
392
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:49,994
Hi-yah!
393
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,546
[ANIMAL LAUGHS]
394
00:22:59,629 --> 00:23:01,715
[ANIMAL YELLING]
395
00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:03,883
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
396
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:09,347
Okay, well, we made it to the end
of another one,
397
00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:13,059
thanks to our very special guest star,
ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James Coburn!
398
00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:15,228
[CHEERING]
399
00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:17,397
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
400
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,986
Yes, well, thank you very much, Kermit.
I had a terrific time.
401
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,155
Now I can say I've done The Muppet Show.
402
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:28,992
Yeah, well, the way things turned out,
you could say you did The Gong Show.
403
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,120
-Gong Show! Gong Show!
-Animal, will you get out of here?
404
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,872
-Give me that.
-Oh, good.
405
00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,666
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
406
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,835
[GONG CLANGING]
407
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,004
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
408
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,165
More! More!
409
00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:19,334
[STATLER, WALDORF GRUNTING]
28883
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