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[KNOCKING]
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Christopher Reeve.
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Christopher.
3
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Thanks, Scooter. Can you tell me what
these rats are doing in my dressing room?
4
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I think it's the fox-trot.
5
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Oh.
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Gee, most stars get groupies. I get rats.
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[RATS CHATTERING]
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It's The Muppet Show,
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with our very special guest star,
Christopher Reeve.
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[CHEERS]
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[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
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♪ It's time to play the music ♪
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♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
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♪ It's time to get things started ♪
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♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
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You know, if this show was an airplane,
it would have been grounded.
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[BOTH LAUGH]
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♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
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♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
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♪ This is what we call ♪
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♪ The Muppet Show ♪
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[HONKS]
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[RATS LAUGHING]
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Oh, rats.
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.
27
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Hi-ho, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show.
28
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And do we have a show for you.
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Well, as a matter of fact, we do.
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And our guest star tonight is none other
than that fantastic film star,
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the man who plays Superman,
Mr. Christopher Reeve.
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MAN:
Wow!
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Yes! But right now
it's opening-number time,
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and the opening number happens to star me,
which is why I'm dressed this way.
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So, uh, what can I say but, uh,
let's hear it for me! Yeah!
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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT DISCO MUSIC]
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ALL:
♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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♪ In the evening when the sun goes down ♪
39
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♪ Folks all hurry to the edge of town ♪
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♪ At the bayou bank, they stand and wait
In the clear air ♪
41
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♪ Soon the water ripples catch their eye ♪
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♪ And the ladies hush and breathe a sigh ♪
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♪ On a lily pad, all dressed in white
He appears there ♪
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♪ And then I boogie up and down
And shuffle right ♪
45
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♪ Slippin', splashin'
In the moonlight night ♪
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♪ Alligators with their teeth so bright
Smile and sway there ♪
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ALLIGATORS:
♪ Sway there ♪
48
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ALL: ♪ And soon the loons are joining
In the jamboree ♪
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♪ Everybody's happy just like me ♪
50
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♪ Watch him dance on that log ♪
51
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♪ Yeesh, it's the Disco Frog ♪
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FROGS:
♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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Whoa!
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FROGS:
♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
56
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FROGS:
♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
57
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♪ Uh-huh ♪
58
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FROGS: ♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
-♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
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FROGS:
♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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♪ And then I boogie up and down
And shuffle right ♪
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♪ Slippin', splashin'
In the moonlight night ♪
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♪ Alligators with their teeth so bright
Smile and sway there ♪
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ALLIGATORS:
♪ Sway there ♪
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FROGS: ♪ And soon the loons are joining
In the jamboree ♪
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♪ Everybody's happy just like me ♪
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♪ Watch him dance on that log ♪
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♪ Yeesh, it's the Disco Frog ♪
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FROGS: ♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
-♪ Whoo-hoo ♪
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-♪ Oh, yeah ♪
FROGS: ♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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-♪ Wa-wa-wa-wa ♪
FROGS: ♪ Ribbit, ribbit ♪
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♪ Yeah! ♪
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♪ Yeah! ♪
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
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I liked that tune. How about you?
76
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I like New York in June.
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♪ How about you? ♪
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[BOTH SCATTING]
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Okay. Way to go, frogs.
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Nice going, alligators.
And not bad, me. Ha, ha.
81
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Nope, not too terrifically terrible.
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I'm back. I'm back, everyone.
Oh, Kermie. Kermie? Oh, I'm back.
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Where have you been?
The show has already started.
84
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Oh, Kermie.
85
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I just stepped out
to pick up a costume for my number.
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Oh, yeah.
What's so special about this number?
87
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Oh, well, Kermie,
I am singing "Never Before."
88
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-Oh. Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.
-Remember? In The Muppet Movie?
89
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-I sang it to vous?
-Mm-hm.
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It was so romantic, in the moonlight.
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-Oh, Kermie. Remember? Remember?
-Aah.
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-Oh... We snuggled together. Mm.
-Yeah. Mm-hm.
93
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Uh, Piggy,
you'll get to sing the song again
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right after the guest-star spot.
95
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-Oh. Good. Well, who's the guest star?
-Uh, Christopher Reeve.
96
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Christopher Reeve?
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Christopher "Perfect Body" Reeve?
98
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Mm-hm.
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Oh! Chrissy! Chrissy, I'm coming!
100
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Uh, gee.
She never called me Perfect Body.
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[PANTING]
102
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Kermit! Where's Kermit? Kermit!
103
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Gonzo, you're supposed to be doing
the first act
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of William Shakespeare's Hamlet
while hanging from your nose!
105
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-I can't go on.
-Why not?
106
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I sprained my nose.
107
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Well, how did that happen?
108
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Rehearsing with heavy shoes.
109
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But we rented the scenery
and costumes and everything.
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-Scooter!
-Yeah, boss?
111
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Do we have anybody else
that can play Hamlet?
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There's Chris Reeve. He's real good.
He's not busy till Vet's Hospital.
113
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Good thought. Stall for me, would you?
114
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-Stall?
-Chris?
115
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Oh, it's Christopher Reeve. Yeah!
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[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
117
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-Hey, Kermit.
-Are you doing anything special right now?
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I'm just hanging around the phone booth
in case trouble breaks out.
119
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Yeah, well, it just did.
120
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I was wondering if you'd like to fill in
for Gonzo's Hamlet spot.
121
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-Hamlet?
-Mm-hm. Wouldn't you like to play Hamlet?
122
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-No.
-But every actor wants to play Hamlet.
123
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No, not really.
124
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-Well, this is your big chance, then.
-Okay.
125
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-Yeah, but you'll have to wear tights.
-Hmm.
126
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Well, it won't be the first time. Okay.
127
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Oh.
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Maybe I should change.
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[DRUMROLL THEN AUDIENCE GASPS]
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I am ready.
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You may introduce me, my good frog.
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[STAMMERS]
133
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Yes, sir. Uh, right. Uh, heh...
134
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-Thank you very much.
-You're welcome.
135
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Now, ladies and gentlemen,
the soliloquy from Hamlet.
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And filling in for the ailing Great Gonzo,
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here is the equally great, if not better
or possibly only a little worse than,
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Mr. Christopher Reeve! Yay!
139
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[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]
140
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To be, or not to be:
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That is the, um...
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-"Question."
-Um... Not now.
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No, no, no, that's your line.
144
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I know. Ahem.
145
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To be, or not to be: That is...
That is the question.
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Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
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the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune...
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[GRUNTING]
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Excuse me, Mr. Hamlet.
Do you want this now?
150
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,813
Upon what grounds
do you disturb my soliloquy?
151
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,357
Well, it's time for my coffee break.
152
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,194
Coffee grounds? Aah!
153
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,530
Please don't be mad, Mr. Hamlet.
154
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I'm not mad. I'm acting. Let me see.
155
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,497
Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio.
156
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,376
-Uh, terrific.
-A fellow of infinite jest.
157
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,337
Ah, and most excellent fancy.
158
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Ahem. Fancy?
Ma always said I was the plain one.
159
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:36,224
And, ahem, he hath borne me on his back
a thousand times.
160
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:40,311
Well, if you ask me,
I'm still carrying the whole scene.
161
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Why don't you guys sing?
162
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,025
Hamlet doesn't sing.
163
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-I can sing.
-You're not Hamlet.
164
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Oh, no. Well, listen.
165
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Hamlet was my nickname
back when I was a little porker. Ha-ha-ha.
166
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Listen, I don't usually perform
with amateurs.
167
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Amateurs, eh? Ah!
168
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I'll show you.
169
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[SKULL BOUNCING]
170
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Oh, good shot!
171
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Wow! Hey, that's Hamlet, 2,
audience, nothing.
172
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[HOGTHROB CHUCKLES]
173
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,850
Guys, I really don't think we're ready
for, uh, Shakespeare.
174
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,478
Yeah, well, he's not ready for you either.
175
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-Oh, well.
-Song cue!
176
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CHRISTOPHER & HOGTHROB:
You're welcome!
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[BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
178
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ALL:
♪ Brush up your Shakespeare ♪
179
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♪ Start quoting him now ♪
180
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,660
♪ Brush up your Shakespeare ♪
181
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,830
♪ And the women you will wow ♪
182
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:44,125
-♪ Just declaim a few lines from Othello ♪
FOZZIE: ♪ Yes, sir ♪
183
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,337
♪ And they'll think you're one heck
Of a fellow ♪
184
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,674
♪ Hey, if your blond won't respond
When you flatter her ♪
185
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,968
♪ Tell her what Tony told Cleopatterer ♪
186
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,680
♪ And if still to be shocked
She pretends, well ♪
187
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,306
-♪ Ah! ♪
-♪ Just remind her
188
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,017
-♪ That all's well that ends well ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
189
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ALL:
♪ Brush up your Shakespeare ♪
190
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,147
♪ And they'll all kowtow ♪
191
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,357
♪ Thinkst thou? ♪
192
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:14,239
ALL:
♪ And they'll all kowtow ♪
193
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,825
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
194
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:26,376
I'll always regret that I didn't study
Shakespeare when I was a kid.
195
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,462
When you were a kid,
you could have talked to Shakespeare.
196
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,423
[LAUGHING]
197
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,091
Talked to Shakes... Ha-ha-ha.
198
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:38,179
Oh, let's see. I'd better tell Piggy
that her Vet's Hospital sketch is next.
199
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,266
Oh, her door is ajar.
200
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,147
Oh! Oh, oh!
201
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:52,402
Oh, Christopher,
you great big beautiful hunk, you. Ahh.
202
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:57,323
Oh, Foo-Foo, do you have Mumsie's
autographed picture of Chrissy?
203
00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:01,077
Come, bring to Mumsie.
Come on, Foo-Foo-kins.
204
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,956
Yes, that's a good dog. Come to Mumsie.
205
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,791
Oh.
206
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:10,754
Give it to Mumsie.
Oh, what a goodums doggy. Ah.
207
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,757
I don't believe this.
208
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,259
Mwah. Oh.
209
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,054
Let's see, now.
Where can we put his picture?
210
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,014
Um, there's no place.
211
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,850
[GLASS SHATTERS]
212
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,143
[GASPS]
213
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:28,355
What a clever little Foo-Foo.
214
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:33,526
Oh, Christopher!
Oh, you beautiful brute! Ah!
215
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,574
Gee. She never called me
a beautiful brute.
216
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,703
Here is a Muppet News Flash.
217
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,331
Police announced
that a killer lamb had escaped
218
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:51,252
from the Department of Agriculture's
maximum-security sheep station.
219
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:55,173
This lamb is one of a new kind of sheep
that has been bred to hunt wolves
220
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,175
and is extremely dangerous.
221
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,677
[SHEEP BLEATS QUIETLY]
222
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:04,849
Uh, this killer lamb has been trained
to attack at the sound of a bell.
223
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,185
[PHONE RINGS THEN SHEEP BLEATS]
224
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,353
Hello?
225
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,854
[YELLS]
226
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,944
NARRATOR: Time once again
for Veterinarian's Hospital,
227
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:21,282
the continuing story of a quack
who's gone to the dogs.
228
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,785
Hey, wait.
I'm not supposed to be the patient.
229
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,496
Today you're getting a dose
of your own medicine.
230
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,997
Ohh.
231
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,375
Yeah, but my medicine tastes bad.
232
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,961
Well, bad taste never bothered you before.
233
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,170
[ALL LAUGH]
234
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,464
-For sure.
-Okay, okay. Who's gonna be the doctor?
235
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,300
Dr. Reeve! Oh, Chrissy! Chrissy!
236
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,429
Sorry I'm late, nurse.
My caddy collapsed on the 17th hole.
237
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,305
[BOB & NURSES LAUGH]
238
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,433
Listen, what kind of doctor are you?
239
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,684
I'm a GP.
240
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,645
Yes, a gorgeous person.
241
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,188
[PIGGY GIGGLES & BOB GROANS]
242
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,356
[PIGGY PANTING]
243
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,484
Please, Nurse Piggy, stop panting.
You're fogging my mirror.
244
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,111
[BOB LAUGHS]
245
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,531
I can't help it. I love you!
246
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,907
[CRISTOPHER GROANS]
247
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,451
Thank you.
248
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:08,246
Let's see, now. Ooh, looks bad.
I'm going to operate.
249
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,082
-Oh, no, no!
-Come, now. This won't hurt a bit.
250
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,835
It'll hurt this bit
if you don't get laughs with it.
251
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,003
[CHRISTOPHER GROANS]
252
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:18,423
I'm not trying to get laughs.
I don't wanna set a precedent on the show.
253
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,592
Ooh, touché. Touché.
254
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,011
Just relax.
I'll have you fixed in no time.
255
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,306
Please, never say "fixed" to a dog.
256
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:29,184
You won't feel any pain.
I'm going to put you to sleep.
257
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,187
-Oh! Never say "put to sleep" to a dog.
-Oh, sorry.
258
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,563
JANICE:
Ooh!
259
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,857
Now, come. This has gone far enough.
260
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,234
Chrissy, let us go
to the nurse's lounge and...
261
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,736
-Yes?
-...lounge!
262
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,987
Ooh.
263
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,530
Ooh.
264
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,868
NARRATOR: And so we come to the end
of another Veterinarian's Hospital.
265
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,621
Tune in next week,
when you'll hear Dr. Reeve say:
266
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:52,165
-I won't be here next week.
-You're leaving?
267
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,334
Faster than a speeding bullet.
268
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,757
Ooh.
269
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,303
Ugh. This show is disgusting.
Get away. Get away.
270
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,682
I'm going to write to someone important
and put a stop to it.
271
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,017
[PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
272
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,185
Ugh.
273
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,854
♪ Na-da-da-da tune
Da-da-da croon ♪
274
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:15,980
SAM:
Dear, sir:
275
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,607
♪ They call it "Sam's Song" ♪
276
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,317
This show is sick and weird.
277
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:23,530
♪ Catchy as can be, the melody ♪
278
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,282
♪ They call it "Sam's Song" ♪
279
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:30,537
That is not my song. I do not have a song.
280
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:32,789
♪ Nothing on your mind... ♪
281
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,333
There are-- Get off the table.
282
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,502
♪ They call it "Sam's Song" ♪
283
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,504
There are rats here.
284
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:43,842
♪ While it makes you grin
Gets under your skin ♪
285
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,970
♪ As only a song can do ♪
286
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,264
-♪ People that you meet ♪
-♪ Ba-bibbly-beet ♪
287
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,307
-♪ Out on the street ♪
-♪ Out on the street ♪
288
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,184
♪ Are whistling "Sam's Song"... ♪
289
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,020
Don't whistle. Oh, no.
290
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,312
[WHISTLING]
291
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,857
-♪ Ba-bibbly-bee... ♪
-♪ Will seem to be... ♪
292
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,152
There is a thing whistling here.
293
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,990
♪ So forget your troubles
And wear a smile... ♪
294
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,491
There is a thing whistling.
295
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,785
♪ ...you'll never go wrong... ♪
296
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:15,040
I would suggest you have someone come
and fumigate...
297
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,959
♪ They call it "Sam's Song" ♪
298
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,218
There is a lump playing harmonica.
299
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,722
Get away!
300
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,893
There are vermin here.
301
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:39,147
♪ So forget your troubles
And wear a smile ♪
302
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,275
♪ You'll find you'll never go wrong ♪
303
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:46,946
♪ If you learn to croon a happy tune... ♪
304
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:51,951
All right, out, out, out! Get out!
Get out! Out! Out! Get out, all of you!
305
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,328
[SIGHS]
306
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,998
[HUMMING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
307
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,376
Hey, Sam. That's a nice song.
What is that?
308
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,045
Oh, I don't know.
Something called "Fred's Song."
309
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,255
Hmm. That's very pretty.
310
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,924
No, it's not.
311
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968
Okay, let's see, now. Did that one.
312
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,220
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
313
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,598
-This is gonna be good.
-Christopher. May I have a word avec vous?
314
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,141
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
315
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,351
What?
316
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,061
-Come in.
-Oh, thanks.
317
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,523
Mm. Guys, I'll see you later, okay?
Thanks a lot. Bye.
318
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,275
Yucka. Move it.
319
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,443
RAT:
Whoa!
320
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,739
-Ah, Christopher.
-Hi, Miss Piggy.
321
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,158
You were wonderful in that last sketch.
322
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,744
-Ah, come on.
-How did you get a job as Superman?
323
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,497
Did someone see you lifting weights or--?
Wha-ha-ha!
324
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:41,334
Huh? Lifting weights? No, no.
I just auditioned for the part.
325
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,294
-Like a lot of other actors.
-Uh-huh.
326
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:46,881
But, uh, you know,
strength really had nothing to do with it.
327
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,009
Hm.
328
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,095
You're certain about that?
329
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,682
Ooh.
330
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:56,975
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
331
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,602
I didn't bring it.
332
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,771
Oh. Pity.
333
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,692
Oh, how exciting it is
to be in the same dressing room
334
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,819
with the world's strongest man.
335
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:08,945
Come on, now.
336
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,115
I tell you, being strong had nothing to do
with getting the part.
337
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,869
I've just been lucky so far.
Well, knock on wood.
338
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,998
Whoops. Heh.
339
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,791
-Christopher? Christopher?
-Yeah. Mm-hm?
340
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,461
Remember in the movie
when you held Lois Lane?
341
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,587
Mm-hm.
342
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:30,008
Could you use my body
as a visual demonstration?
343
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,926
-I just put my arm around her.
-Show me.
344
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,054
-And the other arm where?
-The other arm too.
345
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,681
-You held her tighter...
-I had to because she'd fall.
346
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:39,017
-Tighter. Ah, ah.
-Yeah. Sort of like that.
347
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,810
-Tighter.
-Well...
348
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,396
-Uh, excuse me, Chris.
-Ah! Ah! Oh, Kermie!
349
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,940
-Uh...
-Um... Um...
350
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:49,277
Christopher was showing me how to--
He was-- What were you doing?
351
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,613
I was showing her how I held Lois Lane
in the movie.
352
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,324
In the movie. Lois Lane. Yes. Mm-hm, yeah.
353
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,118
That's the worst explanation
I've ever heard.
354
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,539
Boy, he looked kind of jealous.
355
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,833
Oh, he always looks jealous.
356
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,336
That's his natural color.
357
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,812
MAN: Olé! Olé!
WOMAN: Bravo! Bravo! Magnifico!
358
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,815
[PLAYING LIVELY OPERA MUSIC]
359
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,358
Ah!
360
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,528
[HOOVES CLOPPING]
361
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,447
Wait! Hold it! Aah!
362
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,909
-Ave Maria!
-Help! Aah!
363
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,619
[PIANO CRASHES]
364
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:40,912
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
365
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,587
Oh, ahem.
366
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:55,260
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs,
where the future is being made today.
367
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,638
Well, my assistant, Beaker,
is bringing in old Bossie here
368
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:02,767
because today we're going to test
Muppets Labs' latest invention,
369
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,353
the electrically heated milking machine.
370
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,939
[MOOS THEN YELLS]
371
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:13,695
Yes, cows just love
sliding into a warm, cozy milking machine
372
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,321
on these frosty mornings.
373
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,698
Don't they, Beaker?
374
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:19,117
[BEAKER SCREAMS THEN CRASHES]
375
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,368
[SCREAMS]
376
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,537
[SHOUTING IN GIBBERISH]
377
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:26,958
Oh, Beakie-poo, that's not funny.
378
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,336
You'll get dandruff in the milk.
379
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:32,756
[SCREAMS]
380
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,508
Ugh.
381
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,594
Why, Beaker...
382
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:41,639
you're hauntingly attractive today.
383
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,808
[COW LAUGHING]
384
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:50,440
And now here is Miss Piggy
to sing "Never Before and Never Again,"
385
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,442
a song that means a lot to the two of us.
386
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,945
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Piggy! Yay!
387
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,114
[BAND PLAYING DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC]
388
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:13,838
♪ Never before ♪
389
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,924
Ow! Oh!
390
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,175
[GROANING]
391
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:22,305
Oh! Rowlfy, I hope I did not hurt
your pawsie-wawsies.
392
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,973
[GROANING CONTINUES]
393
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:30,355
Uh... Uh, Piggy, what happened to Rowlf?
394
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:34,484
Well, I do not know.
Someone must have blown a doggy whistle.
395
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,862
Well, what do we do about a pianist?
396
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:42,283
Um, do you think possibly Christopher
could play piano for me?
397
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,744
Why not? He does everything else.
398
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,290
KERMIT: Oh, Chris?
-Now what?
399
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,168
-Piggy wants you to play piano for her.
-Play the piano for her?
400
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,461
[RATS CHATTERING]
401
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:56,214
What do you think, guys?
Play the piano? Yeah? Yeah?
402
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,009
Okay. I'm game for anything.
403
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,805
Boy, I'll tell you something,
this is quite a phone booth.
404
00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:11,396
-How about that, huh?
-Nice. Nice.
405
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,607
Okay. Oh. Listen, if anybody calls
while I'm out, take a number.
406
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:18,403
I'll call back.
Super Rat, you're in charge.
407
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,364
Super Rat?
408
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,783
Ooh! Oh, oh, oh, ah!
409
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:29,581
Um, ladies and gentlemen,
to accompany moi on the piano...
410
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,249
Ready, Chrissy?
411
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,543
Ahem. ...Mr. Christopher Reeve!
412
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,462
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
413
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:37,172
Yes.
414
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:41,926
Thank you. What are we doing?
"Never Before, Never Again"?
415
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,888
No, I have an especial song for us.
416
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:47,432
Uh, "East of the Sun
and West of the Moon."
417
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,517
-Mm-hm.
-I don't think I know this one.
418
00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:52,979
Just, uh, play, Perfect Body.
419
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:55,732
I'll try.
420
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,613
[PLAYING ELEGANT JAZZ MUSIC]
421
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,538
[SIGHING]
422
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,503
That my note?
423
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,129
Oh. Thank you. Ahem.
424
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:22,842
♪ I wish that we could live
Up in the sky ♪
425
00:22:22,926 --> 00:22:27,055
♪ Where we could find a place
Away up high ♪
426
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:31,184
♪ To live among the stars
The sun, the moon ♪
427
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:35,772
♪ Just vous and I ♪
428
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:40,527
[THROATILY]
♪ East of the sun ♪
429
00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:43,613
♪ And west of the moon ♪
430
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:45,323
Sing, Chris.
431
00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:48,493
♪ We'll build a dream house ♪
432
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:53,039
♪ Of love, dear ♪
433
00:22:53,123 --> 00:22:56,918
♪ Oh, near to the sun in the day ♪
434
00:22:57,002 --> 00:23:01,631
♪ Yes, near to the moon at night ♪
435
00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:06,177
♪ We'll live in a lovely way, dear ♪
436
00:23:06,261 --> 00:23:10,515
♪ Living on love and pale moonlight ♪
437
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:11,641
Sing it, Chris.
438
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,853
-♪ Just you and I ♪
-♪ Ah-ah ♪
439
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:20,567
-♪ Forever and a day ♪
-♪ La, la, la, la ♪
440
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:23,862
♪ Love will not die ♪
441
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:27,949
♪ We'll keep it that way ♪
442
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:34,122
♪ Up among the stars we'll find ♪
443
00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:38,918
♪ A harmony of life to a lovely tune ♪
444
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,920
BOTH:
♪ East of the sun ♪
445
00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:47,844
♪ And west of the moon, dear ♪
446
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,055
♪ East of the sun ♪
447
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:53,516
♪ And west of the moon ♪
448
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,603
Oh, Chrissy, please sweep me up
449
00:23:56,686 --> 00:23:59,397
and fly me over the towers
of Metropolis, please?
450
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,441
-Now?
-Yes, yes, now, please?
451
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:04,944
-Okay, but just a short trip, all right?
-Oh. I'm ready.
452
00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:06,196
Away!
453
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,573
-Ahem.
-Away!
454
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,533
Sorry. I don't think I can manage.
455
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,161
Maybe you've gained a few pounds.
456
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:15,538
Just shut up and sing, Reeve.
457
00:24:15,622 --> 00:24:19,876
BOTH:
♪ Up among the stars we'll find ♪
458
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:24,923
♪ A harmony of life to a lovely tune ♪
459
00:24:25,006 --> 00:24:26,800
♪ East of the sun ♪
460
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:34,140
♪ And west of the moon, dear ♪
461
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:36,226
♪ East of the sun ♪
462
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:43,608
♪ And west of the moon ♪
463
00:24:45,694 --> 00:24:47,779
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
464
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,282
Thank you.
465
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,619
[PIGGY PANTING]
466
00:24:57,789 --> 00:25:00,250
Okay. We've done the beginning
and the middle,
467
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,627
so say hello to the end.
468
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,087
It's been wonderful show,
469
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:07,799
especially since our guest star
has been Mr. Christopher Reeve! Yay!
470
00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:09,300
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
471
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:10,719
Yay!
472
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:13,179
Yay!
473
00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:17,225
Thanks a lot. You guys are crazy,
but I had a great time.
474
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,643
Oh, good. Well, listen.
475
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:20,395
-Tell me the truth, Chris.
-Yeah.
476
00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:23,773
You really could have lifted Miss Piggy
if you tried, couldn't you?
477
00:25:23,857 --> 00:25:26,192
Are you kidding?
Usually I have to lift locomotives,
478
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:28,445
and some of them are even heavier
than she is.
479
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:30,780
-Ohh!
-I heard that, Reeve.
480
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:31,906
-Oop.
-Hi-yah!
481
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:33,033
[THUDS]
482
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:37,162
He really is the Man of Steel. Whew.
483
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:40,749
Well, we'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
484
00:25:40,832 --> 00:25:42,917
[ALL CHATTERING]
485
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,086
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
486
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:22,415
Well, this has been an evening
to remember.
487
00:26:22,499 --> 00:26:23,667
Why?
488
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,377
I forgot.
36385
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